@@flowrepins6663 That's your right to think this. Judging by the replies from men on this video you're not alone in this thinking which now illustrates to me why there are so many lonely men in society. Women simply refuse to deal with men that won't love them they way they want to be loved. So yeah. Keep this mentality at your own risk mate.
Men don't get lonely, we are quite happy with our own company, the outdoors and that of other men from time to time. Men realise if you have to do emotional "labour", the woman isn't right for you. A relationship shouldn't be "labour", its not a job, it should be an escape from your job and the madness of the world. Men want peace, rest and tranquility at home.
This whole movie is like an homage to the "Walk away wife" syndrome, though it skips to the end stage pretty quick. Woman attempts to actively work on relationship and expects equal or greater effort now that they're together. Man thinks that now that they're together, it's all good and becomes lax, ceasing most effort. Woman devolves into nagging to get man to work on the relationship and give her attention, ironically causing the man to lose all interest in improving the relationship or spending time on her. Woman complains more, man distances himself more. Woman decides the relationship is no longer worth any of her effort and stops complaining, since she doesn't feel she will be listened to or the issues addressed. Man thinks it's all good again: the complaining stopped. Woman walks away when the time is right for her, having emotionally checked out. Man is utterly shocked and says he never saw it coming and she should have said something. Then he gets angry and upset none of his reconciliatory efforts and gestures work, because he doesn't realize that, to her, their relationship died a long time ago and she has no feelings or interest left for him to rekindle.
@@izzypfutzenreuter exactly. I felt so free every time. My whole life every time i make myself stop loving and i am better for not being taken advantage of
So right! After they broke up, he just gave up, he didn’t care. He felt some way, but didn’t try to fix it. When she offered him that ticket to the concert, that was her trying, and he didn’t care to show up. Glad she left.
@@yessa1132 yeah first time I seen that scene where she's at the concert all excited and happy, then she starts to be concerned and then the reality hits her like a punch to the gut, he stood her up. never personally experienced this I felt every emotion she was feeling
@@ED80s I’ve had that happen to me, and after that, you just give up, if he can’t even just bother to show up, you just gotta keep on moving on, and you’ll definitely find something better
She admitted that she used this movie as a means to get over her divorce with Brad. I guess that's why she embodied this role perfectly. And realistically.
Every role she plays is about a romantic relationship and breaking up. Hasn't challenged herself with anything different. This isn't acting. It's who she is.
@@ritasnow8319 seems like you haven't seen The Good Girl, Cake, The Morning Show, We're The Millers, Horrible Bosses. She's one of the biggest stars in Hollywood for a reason. PS, saying this is who she is while she's sobbing her guts out is so sad to hear, coming from a woman especially!
"I'm not a mindreader" That's true but so cruel in this context. Bc that phrase applies to specific things like birthday gifts. You shouldn’t need to tell someone "Please care about me."
im sorry, and this is coming from a guy, if you need things to be spelled out clearly to you then you dont deserve a relationship. a relationship is a partnership of equals, both need to be proactively loving each other, knowing what the other needs and wants before they even think about it. it shows that you care deeply about them, to the point that you know every tiny detail of their life and youre ready to give them the stuff they want/need without them asking. gary is using the mind reader argument to escape his responsibility of being proactively loving brooke, he is a man child who thinks the universe revolves around him
@@osamaal-humaimidi1481 Because society sees it like women do, that it's his fault, is the reason why relationships don't last. Every single comment on this video here is wishful thinking.
@@nightmareTomek society see's it like *adults* do.... I'm sorry but Brooke was the only adult in that relationship, she was doing her job work AND house work, while Gary is playing video games at home... Sure his work is stressful, but so is hers, he can't just say "oh I'm tired" and if ores the house chores, and he definitely can't say "oh I'm working hard to provide for you" to escape his house responsibilities. Since both are working, then both will have to share house responsibilities Now for the mind reader comment, sure women can be more emotional than men, but that's what makes relationships beautiful, you can't just go and run a relationship with logic, it will be a boring and dry soulless relationship. Men need to step up their emotional intelligence skills to be able to run a relationship properly, this means you understand everything your partner needs and wants before she even thinks about it. Make her feel safe and loved and appreciated. This is how relationships should be
@@osamaal-humaimidi1481 You see it like women do. Women overvalue their own input and undervalue everyone elses. Female authors of relationship advice books have said it themselves decades ago.
She's crying because she knows it's truly over.This is the speech of many women. The men either start understanding when it is too late or they never do.
@@samerdrich5579 i saw the movie pretty long ago, but, as far as i remember, she broke up for the very reason that she hadn't felt appreciatted. I guess she just wanted him to come to the concert in order to show he cares for whats important to her and make it up back together. The real heartbreak wasn't this concert thing, it was much more complex and deep.
Oh really? Women can never be direct from the get-go. The only reason he "understood" in the end, was because she was direct. It's her fault. But in our society the woman is never wrong, so I'm not surprised.
@@samerdrich5579 Making one last attempt to make things work, then it falling through and crying about it when you finally realize it's over....is 100% logical. I hope I dumbed it down enough for you.
@@melissadehart9306 Making one last attempt after breaking up? Shouldn't a logical person try one attempt and THEN break up after it fails? Get it? After it fails, not later? I think I dumbed it down enough for you, but I am not sure.
This conversation feels very very real. Jen did great in this one. I'm sure it helped that she was actually going through a divorce during the filming.
@@vivienne3573 She actually is a great actress. I don't know why I'm always surprised about that, but I am. She was incredible in Cake, and the Morning Show.
When she says "it wouldn't matter, you are who you are" it was dead forever. Him putting all of the blame on her (he twists his lack of appreciation and effort into her fault for not telling him clearly enough) and continuing not to listen (she asks him to leave and he keeps crowding her) are confirmations that she is correct. It might have been saved if he had instead sincerely apologized and felt horrible for making her feel that way in their relationship. But as she says, he is who he is, and that doesn't even occur to him.
@@brotherderin ....she DID tell him. Repeatedly, at length, and ad nauseum. That's the whole point. She told him and told him and told him. He dismissed what she said as 1) not important, and 2) empty, annoying nagging, (and therefore he's allowed to ignore her). He did not believe her and was comfortable with her misery. Even when he is finally and at last realizing she has been serious the whole time because he is getting dumped over his failure to hear her, he STILL blames her and says she should have told him better, or in a different way, because then he *might* have maybe listened. But it's still on her that he didn't listen, in his head.
@@brotherderin appreciate your partner and compromise to work together especially when both of you are working full time jobs. Lord, must we spell out this basic ethic to men also? Or should we assume that they're that idiotic or cruel? Last I checked, most of us grew up in similar social morals. This mind reader excuse is too milked out by selfish and lazy people.
I also find it incredibly insensitive for him to say he is not a mind reader because she said or did things to imply that he doesn’t care rather than just stating it. If you’re going every minute of the day in a relationship with someone who picks and lays your clothes out for you, does your laundry, cleans your dishes, picks up after, plans event for you, emotionally is there for you, supports you, etc…she shouldn’t have to tell you to appreciate her. It should be natural cause if you love the person you should want to do things for them too. She shouldn’t have to tell him to care
No. That line is really saying, you are who I judge you to be. She is telling him, how he feels about her. You do not tell others how they feel. It was be equally as infuriating to say to him, as it is to hear from that "your acting crazy". I don't feel appreciated is perfectly fine. That line was not.
@@showcase2505 It's subjective. I took it as, there's no changing him. He is who he is and that's okay, but she's not getting what she needs from his which is actual attention and affirmation that they're in the relationship for and with each other. She felt unappreciated, ignored, and devalued in the relationship. She's tried telling him directly and indirectly but HE IS WHO HE IS. She finally realized that, that is fine, but it's not what she wants in her life and set a hard boundary.
Exactly. Having to tell someone you want them to show you affection and tell you that they care isn't going to change them, you should never ask for those things. Sadly I've done it and it never works out.
People treat you how you let them treat you. It’s up to you to set boundaries and establish communication about said boundaries. You can’t just wake up one day and decide to flip the script with out getting some push back after years of what seemed to be a mutual happy relationship
I’ve always had the impression that the movie wanted to present a balanced situation where no one really is to blame, but I personally thought he was a man child jerk. I’m glad to see that after a few years that’s come to be the general impression.
Pretty much in the movie his friend tells him he’s to blame….that even with family (his brothers business) and friends….it’s all about Gary…and that Brooke never stood a chance.
@@samerdrich5579 of course there’s zero logic, such is the world of emotions. You may rationally know someone is not for you but still feel a pull towards them or be incredibly sad when you break up…. gosh.
I didn’t understand the movie much as a kid I thought it was overly dramatic. Now as an adult, it makes 1000000% sense and it’s sad to have gone through the same thing.
There's a video that said they should have stayed together in the end. Anyone who thinks that hasn't been paying attention. We need more movies with this kind of realism.
“Why you didn’t say that to me?” “ I am not a mind reader” … oh this kill me every time. Boyfrind role doesn’t come with a manual but if you care about someone, you actually try to help her, show her appreciation and support her. Exactly what she dud for him …
I was thinking the same, it just feels like switching blame to me and gaslighting which we as a generation can easier call out now. Was the same thing with my ex, "Why do you always have to be angry with me?" when he did the same mistakes over and over. Also the "Oh yes it's always my fault", when I pointed out something he did that hurt me that WAS clearly his fault..
@@crabfish92 but some men need blunt conversations. I’m not saying I don’t agree with you. Gary was a man/boy, no doubt, but telling a guy brutal truth is often more effective. However, women don’t like blunt. I do think there was a lack of ability for basic communication for these two. Jenn was awesome, and did nail it.
I feel this. If a woman is constantly asking for certain things, or you see she is unhappy with something, etc., I feel like a caring person would notice that. Someone who cares notices your likes and dislikes or if they don’t understand something about you, they want to find out. Relationships require effort and meeting each other halfway. She shouldn’t have to be so bluntly direct, she shouldn’t have to spell out for him her basic needs. My bf likes motorcycles and I know nothing about them and have little interest in them but I know he likes them because I care and pay attention to what he likes. I ask about his bikes or what certain models do what, or just plain pay attention when he wants to talk about them. Bare minimum stuff that not everyone seems to get
Funny thing is in relationships, women DO say these things, only to have the guy argue with her about why she shouldn't want them and why her wants and needs are stupid. Woman says "I'd like to get flowers on my birthday some time" guy tells her it's stupid and flowers die and then gets her something else for her boday. Then later on he's all "Why don't women say what they want!?"
Every time I watch this scene I just want to hug Brooke. I’ve been in a relationship where my boyfriend didn’t appreciate the things I did for him. He would say it but he never did anything to prove that he meant it. He never washed the dishes, or walk the dog, or do grocery shopping. We broke up and I’m a lot happier. I hated Gary for not going to the concert with Brooke, when he said he would. That was his last chance to save his relationship and he blew it. Don’t stay with someone who takes advantage of you and doesn’t see your worth. You deserve better.
@@michtig Many women do not work like that. You are applying logic. Many women put up with that because the guy has money, status, good looks, game, etc. If she thinks he's the best that she can do, she would put up with many "bad guy" attributes. I've seen it too often.
This was the moment the break up became real. You can say it was real from the beginning but no. They were playing a game. Here she realized it was over for the first time. Shes morning the relationship she wanted to save. He will treat the next girl better BECAUSE of her. This is life
He will only do that if he does real reflection and works on himself. If he just goes to the gym, and gains muscle, but does not work on his inner self. Nope.
@@girlinthecity2304Yeah because women are so emotionally matjre right. When you cant even take accountability for your own failings and always blame someone or somethjng else
Brilliant acting on both of their parts but Jen was so relatable and realistic. The pain in her voice every time she tells him to leave is so real , she’s so embarrassed he stood her up and she’s constantly trying to show her feelings to him but he’s too selfish to realize. It’s so devastating when that happens and when you’re done you’re totally finished. She didn’t even want to turn around and see his face bc he hurt her so bad.
sometimes we show caring in different ways, not necessarily aligned; as a stupid example: my ex-girlfriend showed care by putting the sugar in my coffee.... I always found it annoying as if I were a 4 year old child, not always the act of caring is the one we desire
"Why didnt you just say that? I'm not a mind reader" Her: *proceeds to give a very clear sentence* please, leave the room and leave me alone. Him: *proceeds to fucking ignore a very simple thing*
a similar thing happened with him expressing interested in her at the baseball game. she says many times that she's good / leave her alone. he ignores. he persists. this was seen as romantic when this film was made i guess. and i think it still is to some people. to many women now, when they say to leave them alone, leave them alone. no is no. etc. take a hint.
Blah blah loser women always blaming men when and majority of women cheat, file for divorce. Dude is not an abuser and men are not mind readers, this is why so many strong and independent women are single a miserable 😂
@JordannGeorge so when men say stop recording in the gym, women should take a hint. Just recently a married women was arrested for having inappropriate contact with 2 15 year old boys. Stop making women out to be victims. It's takes 2 in a relationship to make it work or fail. As usual zero accountability for women
This is such a fantastic movie, very realistic and highlights the emotional labor and mental load women often are expected to carry in relationships. Gary wasn't abusive or a cheater or a drunk, nothing that's an immediate deal breaker. He isn't awful to Brooke. But he's lazy. His standard of life is a lot lower, and he doesn't make adult effort to contribute, so it wasn't sustainable. I think a lot of people aren't intentionally terrible, but they can be obliviously selfish like him.
Gaslighting is intentional manipulation. Some are manipulative out of simply being immature and not realizing it, or a defense mechanism, etc. I’m not denying his behavior is his to own and self serving, but I don’t think he’s doing it to deceive her. He hasn’t grown up or no one had yet to truly call out his behavior in the film until his friend did in the bar and her now.
Great points. Women typically carry the emotional load in relationships, that's true, but tbh in my last relationship (2 guys) I felt like Brooke. I did so much. And he was too immature to notice. He kept stonewalling me and letting things build up so from his point of view little things (like me telling him to see a doctor for clearing his throat) made him feel like he 'wasn't in love' towards the end. He asked to stay with me, said it would only be 4 days, then it became a month, then he was mad at me because I 'didnt make him feel welcome enough' (of course I didn't hear about this until we were actually breaking up). My ex was such a wonderful person in some ways but I wish there were a mandatory high school class about relationships.
The fact that he won’t leave the room and keeps coming toward her when she begs him MULTIPLE times to just fucking leave is exactly the problem. He’s completely clueless and dense. If he really cared about her, he would just fucking do what she asked and stop making it about himself and his ego. Gah.
When Gary was trying to move closer to Brooke, she repeatedly said to get away, I was so mad at him. Dude stop! It’s obvious she’s super upset and doesn’t want to be near him but he couldn’t take the hint. For once, just once, can you just do what she ask and leave!
@@justinsquibb9030 nope, but thanks for trying to speak for a stranger. If the genders were reversed I’d say the same thing. It’s a human respect thing, not a man/woman thing.
You say this as being married was long lasting , the only difference is that when you are married you get divorced the same as breaking up. Marriage doesn’t secure anything. And what are the wife duties? Women are not men’s maid.
@@belenyanez6371 the difference is that marriage provides a certain security that even the most so-called ‘committed’ de facto relationship does not. it’s a contract, which requires both parties to meet the expectations of the other party for the purposes of the marital relationship. it entitles you to compensation when your relationship fails due to the wrongdoing of your partner. no insurance like that exists for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. besides, the process of ending a marriage is far more difficult to accomplish than ending a non-marriage relationship. when you’re dating, a man can wake up and decides he never wants to speak to you again, and you’re not legally entitled to anything, no matter how much time you spent caring for and loving that person. the burden of proof required to legally divorce someone is far greater, and it’s a lengthy and expensive process. people treat marriage a little more preciously than they do other relationships for those reasons.
@@Sunflower-xi6uf and then a few years later, Jen gets validation of her pain after Angie has to offload Brad, just like Jen Garner has validation now that Jen Lopez is offloading whatsisname.
That hit hard. I just broke up with my boyfriend. It was exactly how I felt. I did all those things for him and I did them because I cared for him and loved him a lot. All I wanted was his appreciation, him showing me how grateful he was for having me. After a while I felt like I was constantly fighting for him to recognise me, love me, give me attention. It was so hard to walk away from him but I know that it is the right decision
I’m sorry to hear that. Same thing happen to me a few years ago. I had a boyfriend who I loved, but he didn’t appreciate me the way I wanted him to. No matter how much he said he loved me and begged me to stay, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay in a relationship where I’m unhappy. I reached my limit, just like Brooke. Seeing Broke crying in her room showed that she’s also reached her limit with Gary. If he just kept his word and showed at the concert, he might have had a chance to make it things work with her. But he let her down, again. I think that’s what broke her. Gary constantly letting her down. You did the right thing breaking up with him. I know it was hard but you’ll get through this. You just need time.
@@jojojoy3879 Thank you for sharing that! The part where they tell you they love you and want you to change is the hardest part. I really wanted to believe my Ex-boyfriend when he was saying all those nice things and promised me to be better. But actions speak louder than words. Someone who actually loves and wants to be with you will put the effort in and show you through their behaviour that they want you. So thank you so much for your encouragement. It is hard right now but it will get better. Its good to know that other have been through it as well :)
@@stephlaude1247 That is so true 🙌🏻 It doesn't change the pain right now but it will get better. And in the long run it is so important that you are happy in your relationship and feel save and loved. Somebody mature will actually be able to give you that feeling
I just love this movie so much cause it’s not like guy messes up and girl just falls back into his arm’s again. It’s guy messes up and girl gets the strength to walk away and sticks to it. One of the best stories I’ve seen😘
Brooke could have saved herself a lot of trouble if she had red flagged him the day they met and he physically blocked her from leaving until he had finished talking. She kept saying she needed to go, he kept blocking and interrupting her. This was a recurring theme in their relationship. He would ignore her, act surprised and confused when she was disappointed, he talked over and interrupted, used his physicality to protract situations she wanted to end, and when she was clearly in distress, he would place blame on her, minimize his responsibility or talk about how he was affected. He didn't seem capable of honoring even her smallest request in her time of greatest need. His attitude here was like, "Yeah, I see you are upset, but I need to tell you how this is making ME feel." This movie is hard to watch because it is so real and Jennifer Aniston did a great job.
@@kawstar78 to me there's a lot of immaturity, also, which seems to be an issue with too many men. There's no commitment to an adult relationship. They just want to have fun.
Yaa , but if a guy tries to leave when the girl is talking n not letting her finish. Then she would blame him by saying he doesn't care about her feelings. Here he used physical strength to stop her, which was wrong that I agree with you. When someone is talking something which maybe important to them, n u try to ignore it. Then u could be the problem too .
Mind boggling to think how many MILLIONS of times this scene has played out. Over and over. Everyday. Men and women, the world over saying these very words to each other. This scenario is timeless.
This scene makes me cry everytime I watch this movie. She really conveyed what it's like to be in that moment when you finally realize that a relationship is truly over. :(
He wanted a mum. He is astonished and silenced at the suggestion that she isn't that, that he is wrong to want that. He wants to move home and have a mum, but still think of himself as a man.
Revisiting this scene hurts so much. Recently divorced and it was because I had this conversation with my partner multiple times over several years. I was the one cooking, cleaning, paying the majority of the bills, taking care of US in alot of ways and felt utterly unappreciated. Ran myself ragged and got really depressed. Finally I realized my partner was who they were and no amount of effort on my part could change them. Now I'm focusing on myself and haven't felt this good in a long time. A relationship is a partnership not one person taking care of another.
I know this comment is 7 months old but...I could have wrote these exact words for what I'm going through right now. After 13 years, I couldn't do it anymore. I hope things are going well for you and I hope I made the right decision. I felt a huge burden fall off my shoulders already so I think things are going to be ok
@@heatherevans8445 It's difficult at first, getting used to being alone again. But trust me, after some time you'll rediscover the freedom of being your own person. Focusing on yourself and not having to worry about someone else is a great feeling. Plus, now you can explore life and yourself in a way you couldn't the last 13 years. That's what I've been doing and i feel like I'm rediscovering myself. Embracing opportunities i denied myself when i was with my partner. It gets better, I promise. Good luck and enjoy your freedom 😊🙏
Normally I feel that 1 partner will care about something happening more than the other and due to the differences in care about something, it will drive the person who cares more to go nuts.
she went above and beyond to support him but he uses the "i'm not a mind reader, please ask for things specifically". sure, let me beg for your attention and care everyday until you notice me. so healthy. so natural. happiness in a cup. great romantic "comedy" btw!
Calling this movie a rom-com does it a disservice. There's such a fantastic lesson here for everyone: Listen to people who are trying to reach you, and don't take people who love you for granted! I almost feel like it's a must-watch for every person. I mean, here, it's about a couple and a man who doesn't listen. But it also applies to all of us. Are we overlooking people who have been quietly but faithfully supporting us? Our parents, friends, siblings, even pets?
You summed it up perfectly. How many times have we shut out the people who love us and are trying to reach us? I know I have. Specially with my parents. Its amazing how arrogance makes us think we are just enough to ourselves, but in reality, those of us who have people in our lives who truly love us unconditionally and care enough abt us to try to reach us over and over again are very VERY lucky.
When he said, he didn't realize that concert mean so much to her, it all became clear. how unaware he was. It had nothing to do with her wanting to go to the concert. She put it out there to him that she was willing to try but he wasn't excited enough to spend time with her. I'm sure she imagined that he would be. All her hopes and dreams for their relationship crashed when she realized it. But that's how it goes a lot of the time.
@tommy7576 because women don't operate in the realm of logic or reason , they expect guys to cut through all the bs and magically find out what they actually want .
@@tommy7576Because you shouldn’t have to tell your SO to be appreciative of you. You shouldn’t have to have a special occasion to do something nice for them. If you care for them you show it. Whether with acts of service, or any of the rest of the love languages. If your girlfriend (who you care about) is having a bad day (and you’re not) you can be a listening ear or give her a foot/back massage, etc. Or (if she likes surprises) get her flowers or do some of the chores she normally does. It really just comes down to knowing the other person and caring enough about them.
@@mogs2523Exactly. Tommy is the kind of person we're talking about. Communicate my aらら. Many things in a relationship don't need communication. It's common sense and you either have it or you don't.
I remember this movie when it was released. He was such a jerk. Guys like him are not worth the time and pain of a long term relationships. They should be strictly in the category of very short affair, one night stand or better yet, kicked out of the list of possibles. They are simply not worth it.
Yeah. He had another chance to potentially rekindle things with her but he didn’t want to cause that would mean things would change and he would have to start trying in their relationship. What a piece of work.
Gary shouldn’t have said he would go to the concert and then flake out at the last minute. That’s not right. Brooke was giving him one last chance to step up and fight for their relationship, but he failed miserably.
The fact is that if she would have said all those things clearly and straight to the point, he would have dismissed them. I hate the “but you never said anything” argument. It is not your responsibility to remind others to be a decent human being.
So true. The same people who say "but you never said + I'm not a mindreader" are the same people who, if they were told bluntly and honestly, they'd argue, call the person a nag and probs complain about them behind their back, silent treatment as a form of retaliation, or agree in the moment with no intention of follow through.
I watched this movie time and time again at different stages of my life. Every time I see it in a different light. Sometimes relationship just dont work out no matter how hard you try. Love is not the only thing in your life, there works, friends, family, most importantly, yourself. He will try harder for just 1 woman and she wasnt that woman. Unfortunately she wasted her time on him but that's life. You dont always get the fair return for what you put out. I like the ending because she found her peace, she can look him in the eyes and smile.
".......and she wasn't that woman". That's so true. He won't treat his next girlfriend like that and hopefully she won't do so much for such an unappreciative boyfriend.
Funnily enough, I just went through this with a friendship. Helped them for years, supported them, counselled them etc. Then there was a death in my family, and almost immediately after I had a head injury and was out of it for a few weeks - this friend told me I was no longer trustworthy because I'd been absent, and suddenly our 15 years friendship was crystal clear to me. I tried talking, but it didn't work. In the end, I sent a loooooong message about how I couldn't do it anymore, how it was so one-sided, and verging on manipulative from their end. And I haven't heard a word from them since. They didn't argue, they didn't fight for me. Just got dropped. It was devastating and I empathise with Brooke's final break here entirely.
Something I’ve always kind of hated in this scene is how they try to make Gary sympathetic by having him say “well, you never said that, you never just told me” and I remember being *13* and thinking “Because you should have known”. If you are in a relationship and the only thing you do in it is reap benefits, it should not take your partner breaking down and your relationship imploding for you to take a step back and look at why those benefits are even available. It shouldn’t take your partner telling you “I wish you were as invested in this relationship as I am” for you to think about things that would make your partner feel happy or like you see them. It is literally the definition of “relationship goals”, and if you get into one and your partner gets treated like the ghost that does your laundry, I have zero sympathy when they finally tell you you’re an idiot to your face. 🤷🏻♀️
Imo I think the reason why Gary and many men like him say that line is because they genuinely do believe they are being sympathetic in the moment and expressing it in ways they know how. There's this sense of complacency in those types in thinking that by simply coming home every day, having a salary that covers parts of the bill, and simply existing in your partner's space is implicitly showing you "care". They are quite literally incapable of detecting emotional nuances unless it's spelled out to them.
Anyone whos had a crazy difficult,constant fighting up and down marriage with millions of tears,accusations,and fighting knows how terrible this really is. This is so real
All that invisible work... It is magic in a relationship, but when it happens only from one side it becomes a heavy thing to carry, and then pain and resentment comes along and there goes the love and respect. End of a relationship .
I’m sure so many woman including myself, have been in the same place and know that exact feeling, while they just stand there and stare at you blankly, and it makes you wonder if they’ll ever get it one day, even though it’s too late for you.
I relate so hard to this. I’m going through it with my boyfriend, and I feel exactly how she feels. I do Everything for this man and I go above and beyond for him and I don’t even get any words of appreciation and I’m met with having to be content with the little he does do. I hate it, because I am watching my relationship die in front of me and I’m helpless. I can’t do anything about it cause he doesn’t see anything wrong. I cry everyday because of it, but I’m finally coming to terms that it’s only going to end. No more working on it. I needed to see this today.
hopefully he’s no longer your boyfriend. you deserve someone who appreciates you and cherishes you and do things for you because they care about you. ❤
You're doing too much. Pull back, drop the ball, do nothing. When you do that you'll see who loves you and who doesn't deserve you. I hope you find peace ❤
This movie flopped but I hold this movie near and dear and really showcased Aniston’s acting abilities and how women feel when we’ve been under appreciated. Truly one of her best and underrated films ❤
Oh! How I Feel This Scene, I remember when I was at my lowest in that relationship and stumbled upon a short of this movie and sent it to him and all he said was "I know you do a lot for me" and that's exactly what the problem was, narcissists are not just blindly proud. They know what you're doing for them or not doing for them and when you do something above and beyond they think that they DESERVE IT and shrug it off. Those were the longest years of my life, I used to cry, shout, beg for him to listen to me, to know what I do - I do for us and not for it to go in vain and that I want to be seen but It never did happen.
But she did not SAY that she wanted that. What she SAID was that she wanted to break up and it was over. She was a terrible communicator. I always felt like people missed the point of the movie, which was that they both messed up and her way of messing up was failing to ever just SAY the things she was thinking to him.
“It wouldn’t matter, you are who you are.” And that’s the bottom line. He’s someone who would ditch a person at a concert with no communication about it. Normal, reliable people don’t do that - ever - to anyone. He’s someone who leaves people hanging in all ways, big and small. All the communication in the world from Brooke won’t change that about him. He might, for short periods of time, rally and do better … but ultimately he will revert to his true form.
LMAO @ "Her worth" Most post wall hags end up realizing that they are going to die alone with cats and should have just kept their mouth shut and kept the man. Seeing her single at the end puts a Grinch-like smile on my face knowing that's going to be her fate. You're welcome.
look at her toes at 0:28.. she's a fucking great actress.... to add that kind of a minute detail.. I mean I also do that with my toes when I'm crying bcz I'm in pain.. to remember and add such details is just next level
The scary part for me is when she asks him to please leave and instead he moves closer and closer. My ex did that and it's frightening. Even if no harm is met, not listening when someone wants space isnt ok. When she cowers in and scoots away from him, it genuinely scared me to.
See i don't like how you make it seem like he's gonna do something to her. This is a huge problem, i get she wants her space and he should've given it to her, but acting like he's gonna harm you is just BS.
@@sliding_by8607 op literally said "even if no harm is met, not listening when someone wants space isn't ok." If you think op said something else then you're projecting which is um,,, very much a you problem. Not respecting someone's request to be left alone and for space in this context IS NOT GOOD because he actively made her more uncomfortable. Anyways...
@@TheLunablackheart He is not projecting. OP literally implied that she was in a "dangerous" situation just because he kept comming closer, which is delusional.
This is a really amazing movie. Relationships are always seen from the concept of who started it instead of how do we fix it. That is why many fail at relationships and thinking in general. So focused on the problem that they forget that it takes a solution to end it.
Its really tough when you are willing to cross oceans for someone, and he complains to cross the puddle but thats how life works, what matters to you, may or may not matters to the other
Every time I watch this scene, I end up ugly crying. Like right now... This scenario is sooo true. Sometimes all we want is the people in our lives to just notice and appreciate. It's not even about the chores, or what not.. just acknowledgement of your partner's efforts...
I can't stop crying from watching this clip. It's so real. So heart breaking. When someone doesn't appreciate what you do in the relationship. It's so tiring, so exhausting. (But I will scream at him to get out of the room at the end 🤣)
I cried when i saw this scene because i have been there. It felt so raw and visceral and devastating. You know you tried but it just doesn't matter when there is no understanding.
It’s the fact that even when she broke up with him, instead of fighting for it, he started acting even more like a child. 😒 Then he tries to turn it around and make it look like it’s her fault
This might be a throw away movie for a lot of people but i watched this as a kid and it stuck with me. I think its one of the reasons im so obsessed with relationship dynamics and i survive my psychology degree i will likely specialise in couples therapy.
I was only a teen when the movie came out... and we went to the local theatre to see it with my two girlfriends... But this one particular scene has burned in my head for years and never let it go - and the more years I am, the more I understand Brooke's heartbreak :(
Every woman I know has had a relationship/breakup like this because of lack of effort on the man’s part. I think we all need to learn not to be taken advantage of, as sad as that sounds.
Her giving him that ticket to the concert was her trying, and he didn’t even bother to show up. While she sat at the concert by herself waiting on him, she knew the relationship was over, and she was going to stop trying. He was never going to change, and she accepted it and had to move on. He still has a dumb look on his face, saying, but what did I do.
Ladies, dont go above and beyond for anyone unless they too do the same keep it the traditional way notice the way he invests in you treats you then see if it's worth the care . Dont go out of your way to please someone who doesnt even see it
There;s so much bad advice floating around this comments section... everyone should give their best in a relationship and if the other person isn't giving their best took, then just leave. But there is no "Trading" in relationship. There is no holding back from going above and beyond until you get "paid" in effort from them. Just give your best to each relationship, but leave if you don't get that back. That's it. It's that simple.
EVERY WOMAN ON THE PLANET CAN RELATE TO THIS SCENE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE!!! ITS JUST SO SAD AND TOTALLY BELIEVABLE !😢😭 EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHEN I FILED FOR DIVORCE😭
i ALWAYS thought jen anniston was a “one note character” type of actress UNTIL this scene! she really showed dimension, w the subtleties in her tone, subtle movements w her body, the tissue….🥺☹️ i cry w her every time….“you are who you are.” 😩😢
i love this scene so much because it shows perfectly what she menat in the end when she asked him to leave. He just doesnt listen because he doesnt care.
i love this movie so much... i've been in this EXACT situation before and i didn't know it until i stopped hurting. I picked up after him, i cooked for him too. I helped pick out his clothes when he didn't know how to dress himself. I paid for things when he didn't want to. I hugged him while he cried and took care of him when he was sick. I was patient because I thought that maybe if he saw all the things that I did for him, if he saw how much i loved him, he'd figure out to do the same for me because why else would he tell me he loved me. I was so blind and naïve. And it took me so long to realise, even after we broke up, that after all the arguments and conversations about change and doing better and reconciliation and understanding and thinking we found even ground... was only false hope, that he was never going to change, that he was never going to become someone i wanted him to be. And it took me even longer to realise that's okay. We were on different paths and even typing this out now breaks my heart, i know letting go did less damage than holding on to something that was never going to work with our different mindsets.
Slight problem with your comment, “he was never going to be the person I wanted him to be.” is extremely selfish - he should be allowed to be the person HE wants to be as he allowed you to be the person you wanted to be. Sounds like an incompatibility issue than that he was the problem.
@@Odiekins I think you're misunderstanding that section of my comment slightly. You're right, we were incompatible, I even addressed that in my comment. But that "he was never going to be the person I wanted him to be" wasn't me saying everything about him was horrible. He was capable of being loving and sweet, but he also neglected me and abused me. Personally all I wanted was a man who heard me and treated me fairly. I wasn't asking him to change his own persona, that was never what I implied.
@@Mohlly I can see how you might think that I’ve misunderstood your comment, but I think it may actually be the reverse. By saying anything to the effect of, “They were never going to be the person IIIII wanted them to be,” suggests you’re unwilling to accept others for who they are, but will simply change them to suit your needs. That’s not how relationships work. I don’t think what you desire in a spouse is unrealistic at all, but changing others is.
@@Odiekins AGAIN i think you're not understanding the situation. So it's okay for them to continue being abusive because "that's just the way they are" is what you're trying to argue? The fact that you're trying to excuse their behaviour by saying IM not being reasonable is absurd. You're implying. And I never once said I was trying to "change" them, I never did that throughout the relationship, I did what a healthy relationship is built on; communicated my problems and tried to work through them as best I could. But there came a point where respect no longer existed and the relationship became corrupt. Also, I'm allowed to have standards, needs and values. Not everyone is the same, but you make sacrifices for the people you love. AGAIN, I wasn't trying to change all of him, just parts that really hurt me and parts that I could see jeopardising our future relationship. If you really want to sit there and argue that no one makes sacrifices for their relationship, then clearly you've never been in a healthy one. Cause that's what communication is. You voice your problems and work them out to better suit both parties. Not ignore them and just think "well, he upsets me, so i guess that's the deal i've dealt." No, if you're unhappy, SAY SOMETHING.
@@Mohlly I’m sorry if you don’t like what I’ve said, and it appears as those it’s resonated by your triggered reaction. I am not condoning abuse or saying men are just the way they are. I’m saying instead of trying to change someone, find someone you’re compatible with.
I feel her…im the same in relationships its like final step when you after long long tme feel not appreciated,then you just gave up and want to just leave and be alone…Unfortunattely this is Life all what we can do is move on,let it be,heal and find someone who ll appreciate us.
Facts what I also noticed is how men are obsessed with I need a gf you ask them why they haven’t got a clue why most obsess over finding a girlfriend.Yet when they get a gf they don’t show any effort. It seems like saying I have a gf strengthens their huge ego!!🤔
@abor1males right? They want a girlfriend as a status symbol or to feel less lonely, but they don't actually care about supporting them in return because they don't respect women in the same way they feel entitled to respect themselves.
Being a married man and father to a new born baby, these scenes from this movie are so relatable.. like for real, I have experienced all of these moments and scenes in this film. But I am not as bad as Vince, I do my fair share but those days where you come home from work tired and still have to carry on here and there, I get it, I have been there.
I’d be so damm heartbroken if I made the woman I love cry like this. It’s so hard with my adhd sometimes to remember things, I hyper focus on other things that sometimes I get scared I’m just self centered. Watching this movie before made me fear I’d be just like Gary. Even if I have to set up 10 reminders on my phone to get her flowers I do it. Affirmations and acts of service are her love language so I have to remind myself to do it even if it means leaving post it notes. I shouldn’t have to I know but unfortunately my brain is just wired this way to get anything done. All of this to avoid breaking her heart and making her think I don’t care about our relationship. Especially when she goes above and beyond for me in ways no one ever has in my life. She’s my rock and I want to be the same for her always.
That was beautiful. My bf has ADHD and he's not treating it. Being with him has been great but also mentally draining on my end. I told him quite recently that if he doesn't start seeking help, we're not going to make it. I hope he follows in your footsteps before I'm completely out the door. I love him very much but I'm also very very tired. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you do routines to help you. ❤
@@blackdogbrown Damm I’m real sorry to hear that. I hope for both your sakes he’s able to get that help. It’s such a hurtle to take that first step but it’s so worth it to become a better functioning person. For one’s self and for the people they love. Don’t forget to love yourself enough to step away too if it just doesn’t seem like it’s happening. I really hope it doesn’t come to that but at the end of the day you gotta do what’s best for you.
Watching this scene as an adult really hits differently. Man, this was an honest portrait of a woman who is tired of doing the emotional labour.
Don't do emotional labour then, just live a calm, peaceful life. Quite simple
Emotional labour omfg this is the most pathetic thing i have ever heard. We call what it would be , a therapy. Whatever
@@benbirch2393 She did. She came to her senses and left him. Like most women in her position are doing.
@@flowrepins6663 That's your right to think this. Judging by the replies from men on this video you're not alone in this thinking which now illustrates to me why there are so many lonely men in society. Women simply refuse to deal with men that won't love them they way they want to be loved. So yeah. Keep this mentality at your own risk mate.
Men don't get lonely, we are quite happy with our own company, the outdoors and that of other men from time to time.
Men realise if you have to do emotional "labour", the woman isn't right for you. A relationship shouldn't be "labour", its not a job, it should be an escape from your job and the madness of the world. Men want peace, rest and tranquility at home.
This whole movie is like an homage to the "Walk away wife" syndrome, though it skips to the end stage pretty quick. Woman attempts to actively work on relationship and expects equal or greater effort now that they're together. Man thinks that now that they're together, it's all good and becomes lax, ceasing most effort. Woman devolves into nagging to get man to work on the relationship and give her attention, ironically causing the man to lose all interest in improving the relationship or spending time on her. Woman complains more, man distances himself more. Woman decides the relationship is no longer worth any of her effort and stops complaining, since she doesn't feel she will be listened to or the issues addressed. Man thinks it's all good again: the complaining stopped. Woman walks away when the time is right for her, having emotionally checked out. Man is utterly shocked and says he never saw it coming and she should have said something. Then he gets angry and upset none of his reconciliatory efforts and gestures work, because he doesn't realize that, to her, their relationship died a long time ago and she has no feelings or interest left for him to rekindle.
you nailed it
Yes, exactly. 💔
The death of feeling is the most euphoric state. 💖
@@izzypfutzenreuter exactly. I felt so free every time. My whole life every time i make myself stop loving and i am better for not being taken advantage of
Wow
I know how they got there. She carried the whole relationship and when she stopped, they got there, the place where she realized it was one sided.
So right! After they broke up, he just gave up, he didn’t care. He felt some way, but didn’t try to fix it. When she offered him that ticket to the concert, that was her trying, and he didn’t care to show up. Glad she left.
@@yessa1132 yeah first time I seen that scene where she's at the concert all excited and happy, then she starts to be concerned and then the reality hits her like a punch to the gut, he stood her up. never personally experienced this I felt every emotion she was feeling
@@ED80s I’ve had that happen to me, and after that, you just give up, if he can’t even just bother to show up, you just gotta keep on moving on, and you’ll definitely find something better
@@yessa1132 yes it was a d*ck move.
Inaccurate
Jennifer just nailed it. Very few actors that can perform a vulnerable scene so beautifully and realistically!
This was during her break up with Brad
She admitted that she used this movie as a means to get over her divorce with Brad. I guess that's why she embodied this role perfectly. And realistically.
then you need to watch A family man 2016 Gretchen Mol's best acting in vulnerable situations.
Every role she plays is about a romantic relationship and breaking up. Hasn't challenged herself with anything different. This isn't acting. It's who she is.
@@ritasnow8319 seems like you haven't seen The Good Girl, Cake, The Morning Show, We're The Millers, Horrible Bosses. She's one of the biggest stars in Hollywood for a reason.
PS, saying this is who she is while she's sobbing her guts out is so sad to hear, coming from a woman especially!
"I'm not a mindreader" That's true but so cruel in this context. Bc that phrase applies to specific things like birthday gifts. You shouldn’t need to tell someone "Please care about me."
im sorry, and this is coming from a guy, if you need things to be spelled out clearly to you then you dont deserve a relationship. a relationship is a partnership of equals, both need to be proactively loving each other, knowing what the other needs and wants before they even think about it. it shows that you care deeply about them, to the point that you know every tiny detail of their life and youre ready to give them the stuff they want/need without them asking.
gary is using the mind reader argument to escape his responsibility of being proactively loving brooke, he is a man child who thinks the universe revolves around him
@@osamaal-humaimidi1481 Because society sees it like women do, that it's his fault, is the reason why relationships don't last. Every single comment on this video here is wishful thinking.
@@nightmareTomek society see's it like *adults* do....
I'm sorry but Brooke was the only adult in that relationship, she was doing her job work AND house work, while Gary is playing video games at home... Sure his work is stressful, but so is hers, he can't just say "oh I'm tired" and if ores the house chores, and he definitely can't say "oh I'm working hard to provide for you" to escape his house responsibilities.
Since both are working, then both will have to share house responsibilities
Now for the mind reader comment, sure women can be more emotional than men, but that's what makes relationships beautiful, you can't just go and run a relationship with logic, it will be a boring and dry soulless relationship. Men need to step up their emotional intelligence skills to be able to run a relationship properly, this means you understand everything your partner needs and wants before she even thinks about it. Make her feel safe and loved and appreciated.
This is how relationships should be
@@osamaal-humaimidi1481 women aren't adults.
@@osamaal-humaimidi1481 You see it like women do. Women overvalue their own input and undervalue everyone elses. Female authors of relationship advice books have said it themselves decades ago.
She's crying because she knows it's truly over.This is the speech of many women. The men either start understanding when it is too late or they never do.
She was the one who broke up with him but now is crying because he didn't go to the concert. This is called drama creation, zero logic.
@@samerdrich5579 i saw the movie pretty long ago, but, as far as i remember, she broke up for the very reason that she hadn't felt appreciatted. I guess she just wanted him to come to the concert in order to show he cares for whats important to her and make it up back together. The real heartbreak wasn't this concert thing, it was much more complex and deep.
Oh really? Women can never be direct from the get-go. The only reason he "understood" in the end, was because she was direct. It's her fault. But in our society the woman is never wrong, so I'm not surprised.
@@samerdrich5579 Making one last attempt to make things work, then it falling through and crying about it when you finally realize it's over....is 100% logical. I hope I dumbed it down enough for you.
@@melissadehart9306 Making one last attempt after breaking up? Shouldn't a logical person try one attempt and THEN break up after it fails? Get it? After it fails, not later? I think I dumbed it down enough for you, but I am not sure.
This conversation feels very very real. Jen did great in this one. I'm sure it helped that she was actually going through a divorce during the filming.
My thoughts exactly.
I loved this movie bc it wasn't a traditional romantic comedy and it had a realistic ending.
Absolutely agree. She's a great actress
@@vivienne3573 She actually is a great actress. I don't know why I'm always surprised about that, but I am. She was incredible in Cake, and the Morning Show.
@@ct6852 actually I didn't see the movies that you are talking about. I have the see them. Thanks for the suggestions!
When she says "it wouldn't matter, you are who you are" it was dead forever. Him putting all of the blame on her (he twists his lack of appreciation and effort into her fault for not telling him clearly enough) and continuing not to listen (she asks him to leave and he keeps crowding her) are confirmations that she is correct.
It might have been saved if he had instead sincerely apologized and felt horrible for making her feel that way in their relationship. But as she says, he is who he is, and that doesn't even occur to him.
That's BS men aren't mind readers, let the man know what's on your mind
Wait, Jennifer's character is honest in expressing her frustrations, but the Vince's is what? Deceptive? Lying? Gaslighting her?
@@brotherderin ....she DID tell him. Repeatedly, at length, and ad nauseum. That's the whole point. She told him and told him and told him. He dismissed what she said as 1) not important, and 2) empty, annoying nagging, (and therefore he's allowed to ignore her). He did not believe her and was comfortable with her misery. Even when he is finally and at last realizing she has been serious the whole time because he is getting dumped over his failure to hear her, he STILL blames her and says she should have told him better, or in a different way, because then he *might* have maybe listened. But it's still on her that he didn't listen, in his head.
@@brotherderin appreciate your partner and compromise to work together especially when both of you are working full time jobs. Lord, must we spell out this basic ethic to men also? Or should we assume that they're that idiotic or cruel? Last I checked, most of us grew up in similar social morals. This mind reader excuse is too milked out by selfish and lazy people.
I also find it incredibly insensitive for him to say he is not a mind reader because she said or did things to imply that he doesn’t care rather than just stating it. If you’re going every minute of the day in a relationship with someone who picks and lays your clothes out for you, does your laundry, cleans your dishes, picks up after, plans event for you, emotionally is there for you, supports you, etc…she shouldn’t have to tell you to appreciate her. It should be natural cause if you love the person you should want to do things for them too. She shouldn’t have to tell him to care
"You are who you are" meaning, if you cared about me, I wouldn't need to ask you. It's not about mind reading, it's simple care.
No.
That line is really saying, you are who I judge you to be.
She is telling him, how he feels about her. You do not tell others how they feel.
It was be equally as infuriating to say to him, as it is to hear from that "your acting crazy".
I don't feel appreciated is perfectly fine. That line was not.
@@showcase2505 It's subjective. I took it as, there's no changing him. He is who he is and that's okay, but she's not getting what she needs from his which is actual attention and affirmation that they're in the relationship for and with each other. She felt unappreciated, ignored, and devalued in the relationship.
She's tried telling him directly and indirectly but HE IS WHO HE IS. She finally realized that, that is fine, but it's not what she wants in her life and set a hard boundary.
Exactly. Having to tell someone you want them to show you affection and tell you that they care isn't going to change them, you should never ask for those things. Sadly I've done it and it never works out.
@@caroqtlool Yes you should???Always communicate ask for it and talk about it, if it didnt work you have chosen wrong guys
People treat you how you let them treat you. It’s up to you to set boundaries and establish communication about said boundaries. You can’t just wake up one day and decide to flip the script with out getting some push back after years of what seemed to be a mutual happy relationship
I’ve always had the impression that the movie wanted to present a balanced situation where no one really is to blame, but I personally thought he was a man child jerk. I’m glad to see that after a few years that’s come to be the general impression.
Pretty much in the movie his friend tells him he’s to blame….that even with family (his brothers business) and friends….it’s all about Gary…and that Brooke never stood a chance.
Perhaps it reflects reality !
She was the one who broke up with him but now is crying because he didn't go to the concert. This is called drama creation, zero logic.
@@samerdrich5579 True. But in the context of the movie there’s a little more to it.
@@samerdrich5579 of course there’s zero logic, such is the world of emotions. You may rationally know someone is not for you but still feel a pull towards them or be incredibly sad when you break up…. gosh.
I didn’t understand the movie much as a kid I thought it was overly dramatic. Now as an adult, it makes 1000000% sense and it’s sad to have gone through the same thing.
There's a video that said they should have stayed together in the end. Anyone who thinks that hasn't been paying attention. We need more movies with this kind of realism.
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“Why you didn’t say that to me?” “ I am not a mind reader” … oh this kill me every time. Boyfrind role doesn’t come with a manual but if you care about someone, you actually try to help her, show her appreciation and support her. Exactly what she dud for him …
Wow, it must be hard for you to write this comment. Haha
I was thinking the same, it just feels like switching blame to me and gaslighting which we as a generation can easier call out now. Was the same thing with my ex, "Why do you always have to be angry with me?" when he did the same mistakes over and over. Also the "Oh yes it's always my fault", when I pointed out something he did that hurt me that WAS clearly his fault..
@@crabfish92 but some men need blunt conversations. I’m not saying I don’t agree with you. Gary was a man/boy, no doubt, but telling a guy brutal truth is often more effective. However, women don’t like blunt. I do think there was a lack of ability for basic communication for these two. Jenn was awesome, and did nail it.
I feel this. If a woman is constantly asking for certain things, or you see she is unhappy with something, etc., I feel like a caring person would notice that. Someone who cares notices your likes and dislikes or if they don’t understand something about you, they want to find out. Relationships require effort and meeting each other halfway. She shouldn’t have to be so bluntly direct, she shouldn’t have to spell out for him her basic needs. My bf likes motorcycles and I know nothing about them and have little interest in them but I know he likes them because I care and pay attention to what he likes. I ask about his bikes or what certain models do what, or just plain pay attention when he wants to talk about them. Bare minimum stuff that not everyone seems to get
Funny thing is in relationships, women DO say these things, only to have the guy argue with her about why she shouldn't want them and why her wants and needs are stupid. Woman says "I'd like to get flowers on my birthday some time" guy tells her it's stupid and flowers die and then gets her something else for her boday. Then later on he's all "Why don't women say what they want!?"
Every time I watch this scene I just want to hug Brooke. I’ve been in a relationship where my boyfriend didn’t appreciate the things I did for him. He would say it but he never did anything to prove that he meant it. He never washed the dishes, or walk the dog, or do grocery shopping. We broke up and I’m a lot happier. I hated Gary for not going to the concert with Brooke, when he said he would. That was his last chance to save his relationship and he blew it. Don’t stay with someone who takes advantage of you and doesn’t see your worth. You deserve better.
She was the one who broke up with him but now is crying because he didn't go to the concert. This is called drama creation, zero logic.
@@samerdrich5579 It sounds like you are speaking from personal experience?
What makes you like someone who doesn't appreciate you? That's usually what makes someone not like that person.
@@RuthParodies You too.
@@michtig Many women do not work like that. You are applying logic. Many women put up with that because the guy has money, status, good looks, game, etc. If she thinks he's the best that she can do, she would put up with many "bad guy" attributes. I've seen it too often.
This was the moment the break up became real. You can say it was real from the beginning but no. They were playing a game. Here she realized it was over for the first time. Shes morning the relationship she wanted to save. He will treat the next girl better BECAUSE of her. This is life
No he won’t. He will do the exact same thing because he is incapable of what she is asking for. It’s his nature. 😂
He will treat the next girl better if he does the work on himself to become emotionally mature, but most of them don't.
He will only do that if he does real reflection and works on himself. If he just goes to the gym, and gains muscle, but does not work on his inner self. Nope.
@@girlinthecity2304Yeah because women are so emotionally matjre right. When you cant even take accountability for your own failings and always blame someone or somethjng else
@@EE-kt8sh aahhhhh shat appppp 🤣🤣🤣
Brilliant acting on both of their parts but Jen was so relatable and realistic. The pain in her voice every time she tells him to leave is so real , she’s so embarrassed he stood her up and she’s constantly trying to show her feelings to him but he’s too selfish to realize. It’s so devastating when that happens and when you’re done you’re totally finished. She didn’t even want to turn around and see his face bc he hurt her so bad.
If I remember it was filmed when her and Brad were divorcing so very real
When you care about someone… the action of caring comes naturally
sometimes we show caring in different ways, not necessarily aligned; as a stupid example: my ex-girlfriend showed care by putting the sugar in my coffee.... I always found it annoying as if I were a 4 year old child, not always the act of caring is the one we desire
"Why didnt you just say that? I'm not a mind reader"
Her: *proceeds to give a very clear sentence* please, leave the room and leave me alone.
Him: *proceeds to fucking ignore a very simple thing*
EXACTLY! Why are men in here defending a fictional textbook abuser like there's no tomorrow...
a similar thing happened with him expressing interested in her at the baseball game. she says many times that she's good / leave her alone. he ignores. he persists. this was seen as romantic when this film was made i guess. and i think it still is to some people. to many women now, when they say to leave them alone, leave them alone. no is no. etc. take a hint.
Blah blah loser women always blaming men when and majority of women cheat, file for divorce. Dude is not an abuser and men are not mind readers, this is why so many strong and independent women are single a miserable 😂
@JordannGeorge so when men say stop recording in the gym, women should take a hint. Just recently a married women was arrested for having inappropriate contact with 2 15 year old boys. Stop making women out to be victims. It's takes 2 in a relationship to make it work or fail. As usual zero accountability for women
@@JW-bu8bn 😂😂😂😂😂🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This is such a fantastic movie, very realistic and highlights the emotional labor and mental load women often are expected to carry in relationships. Gary wasn't abusive or a cheater or a drunk, nothing that's an immediate deal breaker. He isn't awful to Brooke. But he's lazy. His standard of life is a lot lower, and he doesn't make adult effort to contribute, so it wasn't sustainable. I think a lot of people aren't intentionally terrible, but they can be obliviously selfish like him.
I'm pretty sure he is shift blaming and gaslighting which fall on the abusive behavior category.
He's clearly a nice guy gaslighter.
Gaslighting is intentional manipulation. Some are manipulative out of simply being immature and not realizing it, or a defense mechanism, etc. I’m not denying his behavior is his to own and self serving, but I don’t think he’s doing it to deceive her. He hasn’t grown up or no one had yet to truly call out his behavior in the film until his friend did in the bar and her now.
Well said ❤
Great points. Women typically carry the emotional load in relationships, that's true, but tbh in my last relationship (2 guys) I felt like Brooke. I did so much. And he was too immature to notice. He kept stonewalling me and letting things build up so from his point of view little things (like me telling him to see a doctor for clearing his throat) made him feel like he 'wasn't in love' towards the end. He asked to stay with me, said it would only be 4 days, then it became a month, then he was mad at me because I 'didnt make him feel welcome enough' (of course I didn't hear about this until we were actually breaking up). My ex was such a wonderful person in some ways but I wish there were a mandatory high school class about relationships.
The fact that he won’t leave the room and keeps coming toward her when she begs him MULTIPLE times to just fucking leave is exactly the problem. He’s completely clueless and dense. If he really cared about her, he would just fucking do what she asked and stop making it about himself and his ego. Gah.
When Gary was trying to move closer to Brooke, she repeatedly said to get away, I was so mad at him. Dude stop! It’s obvious she’s super upset and doesn’t want to be near him but he couldn’t take the hint. For once, just once, can you just do what she ask and leave!
@@jojojoy3879 he couldn't bring himself to buy a dozen lemons... a fucking bag of lemons.
If this happened and the guy was the one saying just leave would your reaction be the same… prob not. Oh the double standards women have
@@justinsquibb9030 nope, but thanks for trying to speak for a stranger. If the genders were reversed I’d say the same thing. It’s a human respect thing, not a man/woman thing.
@Justin Squibb another man desperate to jump on the perpetual victim train
Brooke was doing wife duties at girlfriend prices. Don’t do it, sis!
What’s the difference between being a wife and a girlfriend? 50% if the assets after breakup :D
You say this as being married was long lasting , the only difference is that when you are married you get divorced the same as breaking up.
Marriage doesn’t secure anything.
And what are the wife duties? Women are not men’s maid.
@@belenyanez6371 the good ones are. Har Har Har.
@@belenyanez6371 the difference is that marriage provides a certain security that even the most so-called ‘committed’ de facto relationship does not. it’s a contract, which requires both parties to meet the expectations of the other party for the purposes of the marital relationship. it entitles you to compensation when your relationship fails due to the wrongdoing of your partner. no insurance like that exists for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. besides, the process of ending a marriage is far more difficult to accomplish than ending a non-marriage relationship. when you’re dating, a man can wake up and decides he never wants to speak to you again, and you’re not legally entitled to anything, no matter how much time you spent caring for and loving that person. the burden of proof required to legally divorce someone is far greater, and it’s a lengthy and expensive process. people treat marriage a little more preciously than they do other relationships for those reasons.
Zon’t zo it.
Jen's vulnerable seems so real and natural
This was filmed like half a year after her separation with Brad Pitt and actually Vince Vaungh helped her through some of it during working.
Even in friends, she was so good at these very emotional scenes
I remember feeling so sad for her character the first time I watched it
I always wondered if she thought of Brad by doing that Scene
@@Sunflower-xi6uf and then a few years later, Jen gets validation of her pain after Angie has to offload Brad, just like Jen Garner has validation now that Jen Lopez is offloading whatsisname.
That hit hard. I just broke up with my boyfriend. It was exactly how I felt. I did all those things for him and I did them because I cared for him and loved him a lot.
All I wanted was his appreciation, him showing me how grateful he was for having me. After a while I felt like I was constantly fighting for him to recognise me, love me, give me attention. It was so hard to walk away from him but I know that it is the right decision
I’m sorry to hear that. Same thing happen to me a few years ago. I had a boyfriend who I loved, but he didn’t appreciate me the way I wanted him to. No matter how much he said he loved me and begged me to stay, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay in a relationship where I’m unhappy. I reached my limit, just like Brooke.
Seeing Broke crying in her room showed that she’s also reached her limit with Gary. If he just kept his word and showed at the concert, he might have had a chance to make it things work with her. But he let her down, again. I think that’s what broke her. Gary constantly letting her down.
You did the right thing breaking up with him. I know it was hard but you’ll get through this. You just need time.
I feel you. Same thing happened to me just recently. It's the right decision to let go cos we deserve better 🥺
@@jojojoy3879 Thank you for sharing that! The part where they tell you they love you and want you to change is the hardest part.
I really wanted to believe my Ex-boyfriend when he was saying all those nice things and promised me to be better. But actions speak louder than words.
Someone who actually loves and wants to be with you will put the effort in and show you through their behaviour that they want you.
So thank you so much for your encouragement. It is hard right now but it will get better. Its good to know that other have been through it as well :)
@@stephlaude1247 That is so true 🙌🏻
It doesn't change the pain right now but it will get better.
And in the long run it is so important that you are happy in your relationship and feel save and loved. Somebody mature will actually be able to give you that feeling
@Steve Gonzales That is so true. Thank you for this lovely reminder! :)
I just love this movie so much cause it’s not like guy messes up and girl just falls back into his arm’s again. It’s guy messes up and girl gets the strength to walk away and sticks to it. One of the best stories I’ve seen😘
Brooke could have saved herself a lot of trouble if she had red flagged him the day they met and he physically blocked her from leaving until he had finished talking. She kept saying she needed to go, he kept blocking and interrupting her. This was a recurring theme in their relationship. He would ignore her, act surprised and confused when she was disappointed, he talked over and interrupted, used his physicality to protract situations she wanted to end, and when she was clearly in distress, he would place blame on her, minimize his responsibility or talk about how he was affected. He didn't seem capable of honoring even her smallest request in her time of greatest need. His attitude here was like, "Yeah, I see you are upset, but I need to tell you how this is making ME feel." This movie is hard to watch because it is so real and Jennifer Aniston did a great job.
So true. We often ignore the red flags early on because we want it to work so badly. Great points.👍🏼
It’s called on the narcissistic disorder spectrum .. minimising, deflecting, manipulating, gaslighting, devaluing… the list goes on ..
@@kawstar78 to me there's a lot of immaturity, also, which seems to be an issue with too many men. There's no commitment to an adult relationship. They just want to have fun.
Yaa , but if a guy tries to leave when the girl is talking n not letting her finish.
Then she would blame him by saying he doesn't care about her feelings.
Here he used physical strength to stop her, which was wrong that I agree with you.
When someone is talking something which maybe important to them, n u try to ignore it. Then u could be the problem too .
@@G2RMN Gary is the chad , which most girls regret after they endup knowing them.
Mind boggling to think how many MILLIONS of times this scene has played out. Over and over. Everyday. Men and women, the world over saying these very words to each other. This scenario is timeless.
This scene makes me cry everytime I watch this movie. She really conveyed what it's like to be in that moment when you finally realize that a relationship is truly over. :(
He wanted a mum. He is astonished and silenced at the suggestion that she isn't that, that he is wrong to want that. He wants to move home and have a mum, but still think of himself as a man.
Quite common in real life, it seems..
When he's only capable of being a son.
@@reginageorgetownuni that's very well said, that's quite true.
oh well if she isn't working then doing housework is her work, what is wrong with that
@@JKMT she was working full time just as he was, and she was earning more than he was, too.
Her crying is so real. Looks like she was really sobbing not acting. She is great.
Revisiting this scene hurts so much. Recently divorced and it was because I had this conversation with my partner multiple times over several years. I was the one cooking, cleaning, paying the majority of the bills, taking care of US in alot of ways and felt utterly unappreciated. Ran myself ragged and got really depressed. Finally I realized my partner was who they were and no amount of effort on my part could change them. Now I'm focusing on myself and haven't felt this good in a long time. A relationship is a partnership not one person taking care of another.
I know this comment is 7 months old but...I could have wrote these exact words for what I'm going through right now. After 13 years, I couldn't do it anymore. I hope things are going well for you and I hope I made the right decision. I felt a huge burden fall off my shoulders already so I think things are going to be ok
@@heatherevans8445
It's difficult at first, getting used to being alone again. But trust me, after some time you'll rediscover the freedom of being your own person. Focusing on yourself and not having to worry about someone else is a great feeling. Plus, now you can explore life and yourself in a way you couldn't the last 13 years. That's what I've been doing and i feel like I'm rediscovering myself. Embracing opportunities i denied myself when i was with my partner. It gets better, I promise. Good luck and enjoy your freedom 😊🙏
Normally I feel that 1 partner will care about something happening more than the other and due to the differences in care about something, it will drive the person who cares more to go nuts.
@@supernaturalawesome1 thank you so much!
Much love and healing to you. You got this ❤
she went above and beyond to support him but he uses the "i'm not a mind reader, please ask for things specifically". sure, let me beg for your attention and care everyday until you notice me. so healthy. so natural. happiness in a cup. great romantic "comedy" btw!
Calling this movie a rom-com does it a disservice. There's such a fantastic lesson here for everyone: Listen to people who are trying to reach you, and don't take people who love you for granted! I almost feel like it's a must-watch for every person. I mean, here, it's about a couple and a man who doesn't listen. But it also applies to all of us. Are we overlooking people who have been quietly but faithfully supporting us? Our parents, friends, siblings, even pets?
well, pets are't people
@@innag6888 Hot take
You summed it up perfectly.
How many times have we shut out the people who love us and are trying to reach us? I know I have. Specially with my parents. Its amazing how arrogance makes us think we are just enough to ourselves, but in reality, those of us who have people in our lives who truly love us unconditionally and care enough abt us to try to reach us over and over again are very VERY lucky.
true :) thanks for this
@@innag6888they are family
i feel like this movie is even more relatable then a marriage story
is marriage story relatable at all tho?
@@TheLunablackheartno not at all ha. Been married 2 decades and the break up is more relatable
When he said, he didn't realize that concert mean so much to her, it all became clear. how unaware he was. It had nothing to do with her wanting to go to the concert. She put it out there to him that she was willing to try but he wasn't excited enough to spend time with her. I'm sure she imagined that he would be. All her hopes and dreams for their relationship crashed when she realized it. But that's how it goes a lot of the time.
I think it is an excuse. Maybe he knows the concert is important , he missed it so he found an excuse to cover it.
"Im not a mind reader" - I have heard this from my ex and suddenly tears rolled out :)
The same((
So why didn’t you communicate with your ex and explained exactly what you need? No need to cry
@tommy7576 because women don't operate in the realm of logic or reason , they expect guys to cut through all the bs and magically find out what they actually want .
@@tommy7576Because you shouldn’t have to tell your SO to be appreciative of you. You shouldn’t have to have a special occasion to do something nice for them. If you care for them you show it. Whether with acts of service, or any of the rest of the love languages. If your girlfriend (who you care about) is having a bad day (and you’re not) you can be a listening ear or give her a foot/back massage, etc. Or (if she likes surprises) get her flowers or do some of the chores she normally does. It really just comes down to knowing the other person and caring enough about them.
@@mogs2523Exactly. Tommy is the kind of person we're talking about. Communicate my aらら. Many things in a relationship don't need communication. It's common sense and you either have it or you don't.
This was during her turbulent time with Brad. She probably pulled on those feelings for that scene. Brilliantly done.
That's right
Jennifer did an amazing job here, you can tell her tears and words come from something deeper in her.
i feel like a partner shouldn't have to ask you to care about them, its a given. Its just embarrassing to be like "please notice me!!!".
I like Jennifer Aniston. She’s such a great actress. She made this scene so relatable to those women who are in a relationship with the wrong man!
stop with the misandrism; in 2023 there are just as much toxic women as toxic men
I remember this movie when it was released. He was such a jerk. Guys like him are not worth the time and pain of a long term relationships. They should be strictly in the category of very short affair, one night stand or better yet, kicked out of the list of possibles. They are simply not worth it.
Yeah. He had another chance to potentially rekindle things with her but he didn’t want to cause that would mean things would change and he would have to start trying in their relationship. What a piece of work.
Gary shouldn’t have said he would go to the concert and then flake out at the last minute. That’s not right. Brooke was giving him one last chance to step up and fight for their relationship, but he failed miserably.
Sounds exactly like my ex
👏
Women need to have higher standards, and also he didn’t wife her up. She shouldn’t have even moved in with him. He wanted a mom , not a wife
You are who you are..sums up much so easily
I know right? He's glad to be rid of her and her temperamental ways. She was such a whiny needy nag. After all she is who she is....
Yeah, sums up how stubborn she is.
The fact is that if she would have said all those things clearly and straight to the point, he would have dismissed them. I hate the “but you never said anything” argument. It is not your responsibility to remind others to be a decent human being.
So true. The same people who say "but you never said + I'm not a mindreader" are the same people who, if they were told bluntly and honestly, they'd argue, call the person a nag and probs complain about them behind their back, silent treatment as a form of retaliation, or agree in the moment with no intention of follow through.
And that's exactly what Vince vaughns character does to her.@@TheLunablackheart
Projection is strong here
She did. At the start of the movie. He didn’t get it then either.
I watched this movie time and time again at different stages of my life. Every time I see it in a different light. Sometimes relationship just dont work out no matter how hard you try. Love is not the only thing in your life, there works, friends, family, most importantly, yourself. He will try harder for just 1 woman and she wasnt that woman. Unfortunately she wasted her time on him but that's life. You dont always get the fair return for what you put out. I like the ending because she found her peace, she can look him in the eyes and smile.
Exactly. She was giving him wife benefits when she was only a girlfriend .
".......and she wasn't that woman". That's so true. He won't treat his next girlfriend like that and hopefully she won't do so much for such an unappreciative boyfriend.
Funnily enough, I just went through this with a friendship. Helped them for years, supported them, counselled them etc. Then there was a death in my family, and almost immediately after I had a head injury and was out of it for a few weeks - this friend told me I was no longer trustworthy because I'd been absent, and suddenly our 15 years friendship was crystal clear to me. I tried talking, but it didn't work. In the end, I sent a loooooong message about how I couldn't do it anymore, how it was so one-sided, and verging on manipulative from their end.
And I haven't heard a word from them since. They didn't argue, they didn't fight for me. Just got dropped. It was devastating and I empathise with Brooke's final break here entirely.
I'm sorry that happened to you. They were not a true friend, and I think you are better off
Something I’ve always kind of hated in this scene is how they try to make Gary sympathetic by having him say “well, you never said that, you never just told me” and I remember being *13* and thinking “Because you should have known”. If you are in a relationship and the only thing you do in it is reap benefits, it should not take your partner breaking down and your relationship imploding for you to take a step back and look at why those benefits are even available. It shouldn’t take your partner telling you “I wish you were as invested in this relationship as I am” for you to think about things that would make your partner feel happy or like you see them. It is literally the definition of “relationship goals”, and if you get into one and your partner gets treated like the ghost that does your laundry, I have zero sympathy when they finally tell you you’re an idiot to your face. 🤷🏻♀️
Imo I think the reason why Gary and many men like him say that line is because they genuinely do believe they are being sympathetic in the moment and expressing it in ways they know how. There's this sense of complacency in those types in thinking that by simply coming home every day, having a salary that covers parts of the bill, and simply existing in your partner's space is implicitly showing you "care". They are quite literally incapable of detecting emotional nuances unless it's spelled out to them.
Anyone whos had a crazy difficult,constant fighting up and down marriage with millions of tears,accusations,and fighting knows how terrible this really is. This is so real
All that invisible work... It is magic in a relationship, but when it happens only from one side it becomes a heavy thing to carry, and then pain and resentment comes along and there goes the love and respect. End of a relationship .
"invisible work" holy cow. That's a BRILLIANT way to put it!
"im not a mind reader, I didn't know I was supposed to *appreciate* you waiting on me hand and foot and supporting every dream and desire i have"
I’m sure so many woman including myself, have been in the same place and know that exact feeling, while they just stand there and stare at you blankly, and it makes you wonder if they’ll ever get it one day, even though it’s too late for you.
“It doesn’t matter. You are who you are”
The same could be said about her.
I relate so hard to this. I’m going through it with my boyfriend, and I feel exactly how she feels. I do Everything for this man and I go above and beyond for him and I don’t even get any words of appreciation and I’m met with having to be content with the little he does do. I hate it, because I am watching my relationship die in front of me and I’m helpless. I can’t do anything about it cause he doesn’t see anything wrong. I cry everyday because of it, but I’m finally coming to terms that it’s only going to end. No more working on it. I needed to see this today.
hopefully he’s no longer your boyfriend. you deserve someone who appreciates you and cherishes you and do things for you because they care about you. ❤
@@ViviSoren i sincerely hope everything goes well for you. no one deserves to feel unappreciated by their partner - sending you love 💗
hopefully you’re doing good today sis
I needed to watch it today as well 😢
You're doing too much. Pull back, drop the ball, do nothing. When you do that you'll see who loves you and who doesn't deserve you. I hope you find peace ❤
Jen looks beautiful in this scene even with her crying and drained out expression
This was sad. Came just when she was dealing with her own disintegrating marriage and pain of being cheated on.
this movie will always hold a special place in my heart. and the ending, chefs kiss.
Very genuine. Love her performance here
This movie flopped but I hold this movie near and dear and really showcased Aniston’s acting abilities and how women feel when we’ve been under appreciated. Truly one of her best and underrated films ❤
Oh! How I Feel This Scene, I remember when I was at my lowest in that relationship and stumbled upon a short of this movie and sent it to him and all he said was "I know you do a lot for me" and that's exactly what the problem was, narcissists are not just blindly proud. They know what you're doing for them or not doing for them and when you do something above and beyond they think that they DESERVE IT and shrug it off. Those were the longest years of my life, I used to cry, shout, beg for him to listen to me, to know what I do - I do for us and not for it to go in vain and that I want to be seen but It never did happen.
I felt every word she said. It sucks being the one who loves harder.
It is 😢 so hard it’s so tiring
Never is enough for a woman. They always want more.
this film hit hard and especially this scene, all she wanted him to do was show interest and care, once they stop doing that you know its over
But she did not SAY that she wanted that. What she SAID was that she wanted to break up and it was over. She was a terrible communicator. I always felt like people missed the point of the movie, which was that they both messed up and her way of messing up was failing to ever just SAY the things she was thinking to him.
@@William-the-Guy in the end they both moved on and were happy without each other, some people arent just meant to be in our story...
“It wouldn’t matter, you are who you are.”
And that’s the bottom line. He’s someone who would ditch a person at a concert with no communication about it. Normal, reliable people don’t do that - ever - to anyone. He’s someone who leaves people hanging in all ways, big and small. All the communication in the world from Brooke won’t change that about him. He might, for short periods of time, rally and do better … but ultimately he will revert to his true form.
Foreal, imagine going to a concert with thousands of people, but you still feel alone because the person you were hoping to come didn’t show up.
I feel so bad for Brooke, but she's right. People are who they are. I'm glad she is eventually able to see her worth and move on
LMAO @ "Her worth" Most post wall hags end up realizing that they are going to die alone with cats and should have just kept their mouth shut and kept the man.
Seeing her single at the end puts a Grinch-like smile on my face knowing that's going to be her fate. You're welcome.
look at her toes at 0:28.. she's a fucking great actress.... to add that kind of a minute detail.. I mean I also do that with my toes when I'm crying bcz I'm in pain.. to remember and add such details is just next level
The scary part for me is when she asks him to please leave and instead he moves closer and closer. My ex did that and it's frightening. Even if no harm is met, not listening when someone wants space isnt ok. When she cowers in and scoots away from him, it genuinely scared me to.
See i don't like how you make it seem like he's gonna do something to her. This is a huge problem, i get she wants her space and he should've given it to her, but acting like he's gonna harm you is just BS.
It is extremely unsettling to have someone invade your personal space when you’re clearly telling them to.
@@sliding_by8607 op literally said "even if no harm is met, not listening when someone wants space isn't ok." If you think op said something else then you're projecting which is um,,, very much a you problem. Not respecting someone's request to be left alone and for space in this context IS NOT GOOD because he actively made her more uncomfortable. Anyways...
@@TheLunablackheart He is not projecting. OP literally implied that she was in a "dangerous" situation just because he kept comming closer, which is delusional.
He was just walking to go hug her, don't be dumb 🙄
I’m going through something similar and it made me cry because it’s true ppl tell you in 3 different ways so many times for years
So well played by both.
I think it might be Jennifer’s greatest acting in this role.
It’s so real; relatable.
Appreciation goes a long way. Babe you cooked, let me wash the dishes.
Relationships are draining. Being single is great 😃
if both have the skills, it can be a beautiful thing.
@@theplaylisterrare but not worth it if it’s not real .
Especially if with a battle axe like Brooke. 🤢🤮
@@TheBicentennialDragon ok Baby Huey
Family relationships and friendships can also be like this
This is a really amazing movie. Relationships are always seen from the concept of who started it instead of how do we fix it. That is why many fail at relationships and thinking in general. So focused on the problem that they forget that it takes a solution to end it.
Its really tough when you are willing to cross oceans for someone, and he complains to cross the puddle but thats how life works, what matters to you, may or may not matters to the other
Omg ur comment made ne cry
The “I don’t feel like you appreciate me” part really hits hard
I could feel that. That movie was made shortly after her and Brad broke up. Those tears were real.
This is so relatable. You explained in clear words several times and guy says: "I am not a mind reader." I AM OUTTA HERE!
Gosh, this is relatable. It’s really hard when you’re doing everything and feel unappreciated.
Every time I watch this scene, I end up ugly crying. Like right now... This scenario is sooo true. Sometimes all we want is the people in our lives to just notice and appreciate. It's not even about the chores, or what not.. just acknowledgement of your partner's efforts...
I know it’s acting but the pain behind her voice hits deep
The takeaway is to NEVER EVER do that much for anyone, especially for some mediocre boyfriend.
Exactly 💯 they are just a wast of time. Nothing more.
Yeah, and that's how you end up childless in a old people's home.
Vince Vaughn is definitely mediocre
@@timtags No it's just that Vince Vaughn is too good for you lol
She broke up with him...
Dude….she’s such a good actress like I was reeled in! I don’t even think I blinked lmao
I can't stop crying from watching this clip. It's so real. So heart breaking. When someone doesn't appreciate what you do in the relationship. It's so tiring, so exhausting. (But I will scream at him to get out of the room at the end 🤣)
I cried when i saw this scene because i have been there. It felt so raw and visceral and devastating. You know you tried but it just doesn't matter when there is no understanding.
It’s the fact that even when she broke up with him, instead of fighting for it, he started acting even more like a child. 😒 Then he tries to turn it around and make it look like it’s her fault
this movie was so good. The first time I saw what a rom com really could be. It was so well done
This might be a throw away movie for a lot of people but i watched this as a kid and it stuck with me.
I think its one of the reasons im so obsessed with relationship dynamics and i survive my psychology degree i will likely specialise in couples therapy.
Very relatable. See, appreciate and value your woman before its too late.
Yep. I get it, 1000 percent. Crawling toward you when it's just waaay too late. It's called RESPECT.
I was only a teen when the movie came out... and we went to the local theatre to see it with my two girlfriends... But this one particular scene has burned in my head for years and never let it go - and the more years I am, the more I understand Brooke's heartbreak :(
This is way too real. The writing and acting was spot on.
Every woman I know has had a relationship/breakup like this because of lack of effort on the man’s part. I think we all need to learn not to be taken advantage of, as sad as that sounds.
Her giving him that ticket to the concert was her trying, and he didn’t even bother to show up. While she sat at the concert by herself waiting on him, she knew the relationship was over, and she was going to stop trying. He was never going to change, and she accepted it and had to move on. He still has a dumb look on his face, saying, but what did I do.
Ladies, dont go above and beyond for anyone unless they too do the same keep it the traditional way notice the way he invests in you treats you then see if it's worth the care . Dont go out of your way to please someone who doesnt even see it
There;s so much bad advice floating around this comments section... everyone should give their best in a relationship and if the other person isn't giving their best took, then just leave. But there is no "Trading" in relationship. There is no holding back from going above and beyond until you get "paid" in effort from them.
Just give your best to each relationship, but leave if you don't get that back. That's it. It's that simple.
EVERY WOMAN ON THE PLANET CAN RELATE TO THIS SCENE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE!!!
ITS JUST SO SAD AND TOTALLY BELIEVABLE !😢😭 EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHEN I FILED FOR DIVORCE😭
Bet your ex is glad to be rid of you.
"Why didn't you just said that to me?" Dude, that was the whole point! Your gf shouldn't have to tell you to love her...
i ALWAYS thought jen anniston was a “one note character” type of actress UNTIL this scene! she really showed dimension, w the subtleties in her tone, subtle movements w her body, the tissue….🥺☹️ i cry w her every time….“you are who you are.” 😩😢
i love this scene so much because it shows perfectly what she menat in the end when she asked him to leave. He just doesnt listen because he doesnt care.
I forget sometimes how good of an actor she is
i love this movie so much... i've been in this EXACT situation before and i didn't know it until i stopped hurting. I picked up after him, i cooked for him too. I helped pick out his clothes when he didn't know how to dress himself. I paid for things when he didn't want to. I hugged him while he cried and took care of him when he was sick. I was patient because I thought that maybe if he saw all the things that I did for him, if he saw how much i loved him, he'd figure out to do the same for me because why else would he tell me he loved me.
I was so blind and naïve. And it took me so long to realise, even after we broke up, that after all the arguments and conversations about change and doing better and reconciliation and understanding and thinking we found even ground... was only false hope, that he was never going to change, that he was never going to become someone i wanted him to be. And it took me even longer to realise that's okay.
We were on different paths and even typing this out now breaks my heart, i know letting go did less damage than holding on to something that was never going to work with our different mindsets.
Slight problem with your comment, “he was never going to be the person I wanted him to be.” is extremely selfish - he should be allowed to be the person HE wants to be as he allowed you to be the person you wanted to be. Sounds like an incompatibility issue than that he was the problem.
@@Odiekins I think you're misunderstanding that section of my comment slightly. You're right, we were incompatible, I even addressed that in my comment.
But that "he was never going to be the person I wanted him to be" wasn't me saying everything about him was horrible. He was capable of being loving and sweet, but he also neglected me and abused me. Personally all I wanted was a man who heard me and treated me fairly. I wasn't asking him to change his own persona, that was never what I implied.
@@Mohlly I can see how you might think that I’ve misunderstood your comment, but I think it may actually be the reverse. By saying anything to the effect of, “They were never going to be the person IIIII wanted them to be,” suggests you’re unwilling to accept others for who they are, but will simply change them to suit your needs. That’s not how relationships work. I don’t think what you desire in a spouse is unrealistic at all, but changing others is.
@@Odiekins AGAIN i think you're not understanding the situation. So it's okay for them to continue being abusive because "that's just the way they are" is what you're trying to argue? The fact that you're trying to excuse their behaviour by saying IM not being reasonable is absurd. You're implying. And I never once said I was trying to "change" them, I never did that throughout the relationship, I did what a healthy relationship is built on; communicated my problems and tried to work through them as best I could. But there came a point where respect no longer existed and the relationship became corrupt. Also, I'm allowed to have standards, needs and values. Not everyone is the same, but you make sacrifices for the people you love. AGAIN, I wasn't trying to change all of him, just parts that really hurt me and parts that I could see jeopardising our future relationship.
If you really want to sit there and argue that no one makes sacrifices for their relationship, then clearly you've never been in a healthy one.
Cause that's what communication is. You voice your problems and work them out to better suit both parties. Not ignore them and just think "well, he upsets me, so i guess that's the deal i've dealt." No, if you're unhappy, SAY SOMETHING.
@@Mohlly I’m sorry if you don’t like what I’ve said, and it appears as those it’s resonated by your triggered reaction.
I am not condoning abuse or saying men are just the way they are. I’m saying instead of trying to change someone, find someone you’re compatible with.
I feel her…im the same in relationships its like final step when you after long long tme feel not appreciated,then you just gave up and want to just leave and be alone…Unfortunattely this is Life all what we can do is move on,let it be,heal and find someone who ll appreciate us.
This is every woman. We do everything, the guy just shows up and thinks that's enough. It's not remotely enough.
Facts what I also noticed is how men are obsessed with I need a gf you ask them why they haven’t got a clue why most obsess over finding a girlfriend.Yet when they get a gf they don’t show any effort. It seems like saying I have a gf strengthens their huge ego!!🤔
Lol, this is so not true; in 2023, most women think they shouldn't compromise at all, and men should just be happy they are there
@abor1males right? They want a girlfriend as a status symbol or to feel less lonely, but they don't actually care about supporting them in return because they don't respect women in the same way they feel entitled to respect themselves.
Women choose poorly and have insanely high standards. What can go wrong?
Being an adult. Being in a relationship. Man I feel her pain so much.
Being a married man and father to a new born baby, these scenes from this movie are so relatable.. like for real, I have experienced all of these moments and scenes in this film. But I am not as bad as Vince, I do my fair share but those days where you come home from work tired and still have to carry on here and there, I get it, I have been there.
WE MUST NOT PUT ANYONE IN A HIGHER LEVEL THAN HE ALREADY IS
I’d be so damm heartbroken if I made the woman I love cry like this. It’s so hard with my adhd sometimes to remember things, I hyper focus on other things that sometimes I get scared I’m just self centered. Watching this movie before made me fear I’d be just like Gary. Even if I have to set up 10 reminders on my phone to get her flowers I do it. Affirmations and acts of service are her love language so I have to remind myself to do it even if it means leaving post it notes. I shouldn’t have to I know but unfortunately my brain is just wired this way to get anything done. All of this to avoid breaking her heart and making her think I don’t care about our relationship. Especially when she goes above and beyond for me in ways no one ever has in my life. She’s my rock and I want to be the same for her always.
You're miles ahead of so many. May your future together be filled with happiness, comfort and success. 💜💜💜
That was beautiful. My bf has ADHD and he's not treating it. Being with him has been great but also mentally draining on my end. I told him quite recently that if he doesn't start seeking help, we're not going to make it.
I hope he follows in your footsteps before I'm completely out the door. I love him very much but I'm also very very tired.
Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you do routines to help you. ❤
@@blackdogbrown Damm I’m real sorry to hear that. I hope for both your sakes he’s able to get that help. It’s such a hurtle to take that first step but it’s so worth it to become a better functioning person. For one’s self and for the people they love.
Don’t forget to love yourself enough to step away too if it just doesn’t seem like it’s happening. I really hope it doesn’t come to that but at the end of the day you gotta do what’s best for you.
❤