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Leaving an abusive marriage, Lilian Mbuthia's story | Unscripted With Grace
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มิ.ย. 2021
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When you left that man that's when you gained your power and you started the journey of healing. Awesome Lillian.
Ladies and gentlemen , never "vumilia" an abusive partner. Run for your life!
I walked out of mine with four children and without a stable job, and I can say that God is faithful.
U just encouraged me...I just walked out with 3kids a year agoand without much but family support.. We serve a faithful God indeed.
God is always Faithful
Now l believe in Benjamin Zulu philosophy, getting married immediately after high school or pre- 25 years is suicidal. We also need to appreciate that marriage is not a reward to good people neither is being single a punishment. Shalom.
The secret is in getting in the hands of a spouse who is willing to grow with you...age withstanding
Husbands please we need to understand our wives and especially when they are pregnant.They go through hormonal imbalance that affect their emotions,they need someone who can understand them.We are surposed to be their supportive system for them to rely on.
Talk to them Joseph, may be they will hear you. Not all ladies are bad or devious as we are branded.
Ongeza volume bratha
Lilian, I'm very proud of you. You made the right decision to live. You chose Life .... for you and for your baby. And you spared your dad, sister and other loved ones a lifetime of pain had your marriage taken a different turn. So Thank you for loving you. There's Life after a divorce. Wishing you Happiness & Health
That's why I like wazungu,they tell you straight to the face,•••honey am no longer in love,let's divorce••unadeal na depression na unakua free.
🤣🤣🤣
So true...badala ya kutesana bure aki...
Ukasumba....huu. Wazungu are owners of this word ABUSE.
Hizi ngombe za africa ni nguruwe th
Exactly my dear
I Believe when a man behaves like that "HE is always seeing someone else" PERIOD■■
Can say that again, i salute u.
Yes💯💯💯
Yes he was seeing someone else.
I was once married but one day I said enough is enough. Am growing stronger. 5 years down the line.
So sad lilian. Wamaume wengine ni shida. Am lucky to have the best man ever. He is always available for our 2 babies. From pregnancy to delivery room 🙏
Glory to God
Pre- 25 marriages,.. Benjamin Zulu already warned you ladies, don’t ignore his advise.
We're learning. Thank God she's still alive.
Is true Lillian it's hard to turn back to someone who is violent to u n threatening you and at the same time he can't even support you and the kids, better to live n to forgive and forget about everything n lv ourselves and accept the situation it is. Me i did wedding in the church and i stayed in my marriage for eleven years n he chased me away with my three children since 2010 up to now no help from him no communication with him even he doesn't care whether kids eat or learning 🤔but God is faithful always and mercyful he cares more about us nd now is twelve years n my children are teenagers they have finished primary and high school without his help only me n my parents n my sister who is behind me were helping me, because God is always helping n give me strength to move forward n i really ready very happy woman with her family i n my children we are leaving in Nairobi from village we just go only to say hi to my parents and the father of my children lived the same place where my parents are but we don't care about him let him continue with his life nd nowadays that family of my husband are so much ashamed for what they did to me and my children😱God is always blessed n helps those who humble themselves and trusted n wait upon him because he is always presents always i thnx the everlasting Jesus in heaven who intervine through our lives, May his glory name be praised forever Amen hallelujah 📖👌🤲🤗🙏🙋♀️
I am glad this lady left and is doing ok. Congratulations on your bravery, Lillian.
However ladies, do not move in with your boyfriends, especially the one you have been with in college! Have your own space, get your life together and get to know yourself first. Date slowly and expand your horizons until you find the person who shares your values, life goals, and who respects you.
Secondly, any person who early on starts monitoring your movements, spies on your phone, and tries to control who you see and when, tells you to quit your job or stop school, and such, should make you wary. This is a major red flag! The first step is isolation and control. They want to break you down and make you completely reliant on them so they are free to do as they wish with you, with ruthless abandon. Run!
Thirdly, never stay for a minute longer as soon as you start getting put down verbally, humiliated, and emotionally abused. This always escalates into physical and even sexual abuse. Run!
Lastly, and most importantly, any man who feels it is okay to lay their hands on you as if you are a drum, even if it is a slap, should be left asap! It may start with a slap, but end in a coffin. Make that decision as soon as that hand first lands on you. Leave and never look back.
Personally, if you as much as raise your voice at me, I'm gone like the wind, never to be seen again. If someone cannot respect you, they have to business in your life.
Be safe ladies, and take your time to choose your partner.
This is why we are told never to move in with a man😔people hide their true colours only to learn about them when you've devoted to them😭
Wow,,thanks for giving others hope,,marriage works it's sweet and lovely there are still good men and women out there..don't give up early and give yourself to sin in the name of single God helping us daily to respect the union of marriage ,,it was His choice for any not able to abstain..no other way round Soo let's endeavour with God's help only...
Wanjiru geitheka
Lilian ur story is exactly actually a photo copy of my story.after my wedding I think that is when I went straight to hell.i only realized after 6yrs after i was sooo broken,mishandled and all the worse t things u can think of.those men how treat women like that will never see heaven tumewaachia mungu.u know I was able to leave that marriage after niliona ur story and i knew that am not alone and if u did it I could do it.we r doing excellent me and my 2 daughter and now I cherish peace more than anything else.
This and many others are the People who will make me keep talking and sharing my story..
Am glad you and your daughters are doing fine ..am glad I gave you hope..am glad you realised you deserve better and am glad through me soul or souls were saved...
We refuse to be statistics,we refuse to be hurried into depression..
Kudos girl👊👊👊
She's narrating my ex ..... Anyway I'm the happiest single mother of two.... 4 yrs down the line
I do not know why the host asked her if she did her very best to save the marriage or whether she considered counselling. When a woman is in an abusive relationship the only way is to leave the husband.
For good.
It's a good question,,,of course before people divorce you have to try avenues of the marriage can be saved,to identify the problem
Some of this interviewers....so detached...I didn't like her interview at all ....
Grace seemed so detached in this interview
I thought, I was alone in this. That question rubbed me the wrong way. This was an abusive relationship. Why ask her that?
I love the courage Lilian..may God see you in everything.
Mine was a whole 2 years in hell. I still get haunted by the experience and weep uncontrollably 8 years on. At first I had normalised being abused then became uncomfortable in the second year. I was later discarded. At that point I was a shell of who I was before the marriage. I had my flaws too, I was his imperfect match.
Aki am so sorry for you kindly take heart knowing God is always on your side and he will protect you from any evil.
Take heart dia,may God grant you peace of mind, success and more love
@@MsWamuguru Amen and thanks.
@@alphonceokinyi4990 I'm okey now. Thanks
Society/cultures/religions/ traditions have normalised various forms of abuse that it makes it so hard for people to openup, walk away or prioritise your mental well being over union.
Exactly....
Oh!!! I did the same too. Got a house, bought a mattress and a 6kg gas with some plastic plates and cups. Went on with my business and I lost weight too!!! Thanks for sharing. You have encouraged me ladies. I saw a gender based violence councellor at KNH. I'm very strong.
Very happy for you. May God bless you with success and peace 🙏🏾
Oh no that man was a classic narcissist.. glad you choose you and left. No one should stay in an abusive relationship because of religion or culture! Period
The moral of this story is to pray, pray and pray some more before you tie yourself to anyone in marriage. Until God gives a go-ahead DON'T enter into it. Unless the Lord builds a house, the builders labour in vain...
I love this...am ever on my knees for this
True if God allows me to get married at 70 I will do it 😊
Amen!!!
Lilian has a good heart i remember at somepoint she asked me to help her collect clothes that she needed to donate to a homeless lady....she was really excited about her wedding ...av tried to check her on Facebook and I couldn't find her page ....someone help me reach her please
Thisis liloh her Facebook name
Hey Jemimah . Thankyou soo much .I am This is Liloh on Facebook
Girl, you are a hero!
Thanks for sharing. Sending my hugs 🤗
People believe marrying "a friend" will make things work, that's so overrated. People get married as strangers and they become friends along the way. You've got a beautiful smile Lilian, it shines through, may God keep it that way for you.
That's what I say, you can meet a stranger within a month and have a good marriage
@@JoyJoy-xs1vx very true. I met my husband and we settled down after 3 months, it's now 7 years and counting of a beautiful marriage life full of love and peace from God.
True! I don’t beleive in dating ati sijui 5years..... iyo gethaa hakuna
Thankyou
This lady is describing mylife, but only the physical abuse I didn't get. But towards the end the emotional abuse escalated to a point of choking 2x before being discarded.
Emotional abuse is the worst form of abuse.
You get traumatised and easily you get into depression .
Silent treatment is emotional murder, this is the worst form in abuse.
* I always beg people never to validate abuse by saying it takes two to tango.
This kind of real stories are enough to believe that abuse is real and victims don't cause the abuse as they deal with toxic individuals
She is still hurting. Hope she heals completely. Halafu, wish we could be seeing the faces of these men tuwajue.
I appreciate and salute your courage. Marriage is not by force, if it’s not working out, it’s best to quit alive rather than being dead.
Not healthy to live in a toxic and violent relationship.Lilian you made the best decision.
Some of us praise God for the good husbands we got .Wooi this would have killed me
Starting will always be hard but one thing I'll always tell people never stay in an abusive relationship or Marriage we still need you alive.
Am really proud of you sweetie, now I understand why you told me marriage is sweet but not bed of roses
You're very brave Lillian. The future is bright. You can fo nothing about your past, but you have taken charge of your future....All the best to you and your daughter.
It's like she was telling my story. OMG!
My story as well.
These narcissist all tend to behave in the same way.
It is well darling
Story of my life as well
Thank God you are alive...dear ,God will make away......it's not easy but....
I realize we were all under satanic influence that's why all of us were in demonic relationships. But thank God for His mercies. Now we're learning the truth. I hope all of us will put what we learn into practise.
And y'all ladies look fabulous.
You are a superwoman gal ...I live your courage .
I think some men were just meant not to marry, they wont notice it but this is the reality....
Don't understand what your saying
@@lucynkuranga9051 what is too hard to understand there? My sentence is in English
I dont think @Lucy Nkuranga meant harshness..Actually your sentence really isnt understandable to the knowledgeable reader. 🤷♀️
@@berylooko2318 not all men are meant to marry due to their Unkind and ruthless behaviour ,treating someone's daughter like a trash ....my coment is so open
@@margaretakello1495 read your comment again my dear before jumping .. you've said " some men were just meant to marry " . You mean to say " some men were NOT meant to marry " . Edit it because it's not what you've explained here and accept correction.
She's is a dope make -up artist ❣️
You can say that again
Thankyou soo much❤️
This sound like a brother to my x-son of a woman…… tragedy of life is when you end up with such cows……. But the good thing is that when you get courage to say enough is enough, you look back and tî wonder who had bewitched you to even give yourself to the saitan.
Love yourself enough to walk away. The Power is within you.
I have just left an abusive relationship and I totally relate to this💯 God help me not to look back
Thankyou everyone for the kind comments..and indeed noone should feel guilty for leaving a toxic or dysfunctional relationship or marriage..
Thing is Everytime you choose yourself you Win...
Please research on narcissists. He sounds like a typical narcissist.
@@that_ranqomartist very true.
Such a strong woman😍
You are the strongest woman I know
100%
For some reason many men are so unkind to their wives when they are pregnant.
Lack of training how to be supportive
I love this story we really share alot...your story is my story thank God I came across this story... stepping out with courage
Thanks for stepping up and walk with your head up,so encouraging.
Ooh girl.......love and hugs your way
God please help our young men and women help them ,.,.let each try work for their marriages to work each being responsible in their area...for two are better than one according to Gods words...sorry babygirl it will be well....
Thank you for sharing your story. This helps.
😓😓the 2deslikes is for the husband and his girlfriend
Marriage is the most epic scam in modern Kenyan culture, folks are tolerating each other, not loving each other.
You can say it again.
Not only in Kenya unfortunately.The world is need of good men
Hahaha 😂 😂 😂 ate wat tola 😂 😂 😂 😂 wat
💯💯💯💯👌
The dislikes are from the foolish dogs family.. Upward and forward Lillian. Well done, toxic psychos have no room in the society.
They are psychos and sadists
Those dislikes are horrible narcissistic abusers
I know Lillian personally.. Gosh.. A woman with a big heart.. A kind, sweet, friendly lady. She didn't deserve being treated like that..
babies don't usually change men for the better
Glad to see you bounce back Liloh.
No woman should stay where she is not wanted. Periodt
Its hard..i feel for you and also for myself...am just planning an exit too....
Am in this situation right now after being together for 5yrs
The abandonment is real....i have this partner who has gone silent for long he doesn't call or text since he has no phone at this era.....my problem is he stays with my son....i pray that i go back for my son and leave peacefully....just praying and praying everyday.....
Hey wake up and just drop that buddy...u deserve more
I'm glad Lilian you were a believer when you were dating,Was the guy a Believer like you?
That makes the difference!
Light and darkness can't mix
Narcissist behaviours are also with believers .even pastors
Spare us. People in church are also suffering.
You don't have to be a believer to be safe from narcissist, narcissist are all over, in church,temple,etc
Those so called believers are the worst.
Worse things are happening in "believers" marriages. Religion doesn't make someone good.
Are these men all the same?😔😔
Maiby Maiby not
Sad....God knows you did your best...wish you well 🙏
Planning to leave an abusive marriage with three children
It is well namesake.
The Lord is the provider don't you worry.
Love and invest in yourself gal.
All the best
This is soo encouraging, thanks for sharing
This Host is not providing a good service 😏
Monsters come in so many forms. If you do not like your spouse anymore, say it clearly and ask for a divorce. Why abuse her, cheat on her and be a all-around slug! Btw, I just saw their wedding video to put a face to the slug. Haki hawa wakenya ...hmm, ni Mungu tu ataokoa wanawake wetu. Pole sana Lilian and kudos for taking back control.
Story of my life
Lovely show. Great interview....terrible sound though. Keep on with the great content all the same.
When you love someone you leave them..
This breaks my heart
This was exactly my life until Juy 9th 2021. Abandonment, violence, silent treatment, abuse
The affair is what made him start mistreating her. People don't change overnight without a reason
Well said!
She dodged a huge bullet 😳
You are a great young woman Lillian.
Yours is an encouragement to many other young ladies staying in abusive marriages.
Ladies get out of that abusive marriage. It's not the end of the world.
Hi Grace are you related to Mercy Masika by any chance
So sad, its such a pity that's it seemz she's still in love with him
at the end she says she does not feel any love for him
Hi, l'm looking for Shamsi Hassan I want to know more about the support group
Ladies, the red flags show up during the dating stage, pay attention.
Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse.
hugs madam
That man is a pure narcissist
Yes
Is there a way we can get these abusers...tupime akili and know all the reasons behind this narcissistic behaviors?
I will bring my ex narc.
Lol
Truth be told,, pia huyu madam alikuwa na shida,, don't only blame the man.
Just in addition;in another marriage she will go kindly make sure to prepare your husband in morning,woke up for him, husband are always first born, don't go those night visit.for what and you are married.the husband was bad somehow but you my sister you failed somewhere
@@marywachera4750 sure,, I also so alot of kasoros in her
"the shoe wearer knows"..least you will be judged the same way to see if u will stand
I know lilian personally good hygiene was an issue to her truth be told hope she changed
Poor woman she is still hurtinf
Those who have been in Benjamin Zulu's class I hope you have identify the mistake
For you not wanting to show ,will expose him for not taking good care of you,that is how self-centered pple think
The problem is not you the problem is him,he is a narcissist,they provoke you then they play the victim
Who told pple marriage is suffering.
How do you suffer like this in the names of love Mio I just quit you are not my oxygen.
Mamas boy maneno
The sound for the guest is neither here nor there! Why is that? Grace’s is ok. I have to literally move on!!! Bye.
Hii story inanijenga
Most dating/courtship foundations before marriage are highly and likely to be scripted in a way that those who are in it starts acting who they're not (sending representatives in their fresh). Honestly it's not easy to attract who you're based on your true +ve moral character (what you do when nobody is watching you; God being only the witness)....your other half should be on your way if patience is practiced; often enough, it's easy to attract you want based on your reputation (reputation in this case what we do while others are watching), emotions and feelings.
Therefore, when settling down it becomes inevitable that true -ve character pops up and adjusting becomes a burden, boooooom!!!!!
Soo sorry for the pain, disappointment and struggle you went thro in ypur marriage that it became unbearable to be part of it any more!
When a man's love 💘 is OVER........
That man didn't even love her, he was using not loving
Problem hapa....midomo zenyu wote wawili,,,both of them were rude to each other!!?
Are you married?? Abuse turns one to a monster they weren't
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Do marriages really work?
Marriage works..... Marriage is a blessing from God which is never granted to everyone.... people are blessed differently..... I believe one will do good in a marriage when others will do well without it....
Hahahaha, funny question
Yes
Yesss it works mm niko na 30 yrs experience mm ni mhengaa
@@nancywanjiru5468 You Mean 30 Years in Marriage ? mm ndio naingia 30 hehehe... Niwekee Notes.
This abusive men, depressed, sad and miserable...women should just leave, mtu ananyamaza kwa nyumba miezi 3....just soo sad...😔
😣🤗
This breaks me. Men why!?
U are a man tell us
Faulty marriage foundation...Am sorry about your ordeal. But why the sudden change...?
Cheating bfo marriage
The moment its come we stay and assumed marriage is at place...there is no real marriage. The partner of this lady started demanding what are real wife is known to be...huyu girl decided I have been with you 7yrs...why now are you making demands? So the man decided, you won't listen to my demands...and he just shut her out...he was very deliberate in his move.
The woman refused to be the wife his society or clan demanded...and the man just said...not in my house...
@@ruthutherin.4445 are we in the same world? You seem to be in the 60's, wake up!!
@@esthernjuguna75 Sorry Esther the principles of marriage do not change even traditionally in our tribes and religions. Ask why even the Buddhist, hindus, african traditions let alone Christian's demand for a holy matrimony, pure and most brides and grooms are prohibited from seeing each other before the official day to consummate...anything going against that like come we stay removes all honor from marriages...hence a lot of them are destroyed...
@@ruthutherin.4445 You know that's not what I was talking about. Marriage is a partnership not a slave and master relationship.
Ngai ..kama mwanamke unafaa kuoga ukitoka ...ata wee ungeconsider his feelings..he wanted you clean,responsible woman..hapo aki kusema ukweli ulianguka
She's playing victim & making herself look bad.Does it mean that she was not showering before pregnancy.
My first pregnancy i was extremely lazy, I did not like to shower. Yani nilikua ata naoga at 2am before niingie kwa bed kulala. If you have been pregnant maybe you can relate
Was she dirty?
Stop! As a spouse you cover your wife or husband. Some days are bad and you do not know how depressed someone is. You don't abuse them. You offer support and cover them.
You are really on her case.kwani you were her replacement.
condemned unheard
Ladies and gentlemen convene here i've found the hubby 🤔🤔
@@ritamuchiri9252 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣