SIMCITY (Zero Punctuation)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 เม.ย. 2013
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Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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For some reason, I feel compelled to share this one funny experience I had with Simcity when a little while after it came out. I was playing "with" one of my friends and we were selling each other our excess capacity for sewage and such when I noticed I could send buses to his city. I sent a few busses over for some commuters and tourists and such. A little bit later he tells me he's having traffic issues and he's not sure why. Upon further inspection, it was being caused by my buses. Every time they went around a corner they somehow duplicated slowly grinding his city to a halt.
I love how all this was done in order to "stop people from pirating their game"... but then pirates found a way to make the game offline, free and origin-less. I don't know about you but that's 3 good reasons to start pirating >:)
Commander Shepard plus you get to wear a eyepatch and a parrot on your shoulder.
yar har
It's almost like you reduce piracy by providing a better service, than punishing those who pay for the product.
One doesn't just watch ONE review of Yahtzee at a atime
no you watch 47
+Francisco Torres What?! Something must be wrong with you, I'm on one hundred!
+Greg. Sym. Did I type 47? My bad I forgot the 1
+MegAnimefreakx3 *1000
+MegAnimefreakx3 You mean one does not simply rewatch all zero punctuations one time a day?
"are there any new features sim city can offer me?"
"well there's a poo map"
"...... a beg your pardon"
I always find that hilarious
FUCKING SOLD
It's always either funny or sad when Yahtzee has to stop talking for whatever reason.
San Francisco would like to know your location
I saw your comment before watching so I knew it was coming and it still got me laughing my ass off
EA being a black tentacle monster would be an improvement.
+Doughboy123x want to know of a better improvement? EA accepting the idea of "used games".
*cough* battlefront *cough*
BLACKIESBOY because EA don't give a damn about what ppl think of them so long as they buy their products, you want EA to change?...starve their wallets.
+Doughboy123x Yeah, they could start *satisfying* our needs. ;)
100 people want to have slimy tentacle monsters to run EA rather than the human beings?
I'm impressed.
EA stands for Electronic Assimilation. They are not borg, they are worse. Resistance is futile. You favorite studios will be assimilated.
Yahtzee likes the Borg.
RIP maxis
On that note, RIP RespawnEnt
Ok where did I put my Anti Borg phaser?
Not just assimilated, but annihilated.
I think the last EA game I bought was Command and Conquer 3.
Wait command and conquer 3 was an EA game?
The last EA game I bought was Skate It for the Wii... In 2008
@@pauloandrade925 EA bought Westwood studios. Then shut them down.
Well I want to buy command and conquer generals but it's not on steam. They don't have their best game on steam. Fuckers.
Mine was It Takes Two...
The combination of amusing visual gags and... _unique_ commentary is definitely what sets Yahtzee apart from his peers. Whether you agree with him or not, the man is undoubtedly entertaining, especially when he's on his game like in this video, tearing into something that he genuinely doesn't like. I'm grateful to live in a time where this brand of comedy can exist.
Blah b I don't know I thoroughly enjoy the Jimquisition and Top 5 with Lisa Foiles. I also discovered Miracle of Sound through them and there is that one sketch show that they apparently hive which seems to be good but I haven't watched much of it yet.
Bozo Clown Why is that? He brings up some damn good points about the industry.
Bozo Clown What do you mean? It takes up about a minute 1.5 MAX of the show.
Bozo Clown Does it really bother you that much?
Bozo Clown Wow that's pretty damn petty.
"Oh but other players will see it! A small innocent child might see it and suddenly know that bollocks exist"
Child: *PURGE*
|*Meanwhile in the child's side*|
"Aww? Why can't I call my town 'Doggy Style Anal Diarrhea 69'?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You watched the video,
And we did too.
Anonymous Brit You obviously don't frequent the same cinemas I do.
That broke me.
My police station was right next to a bank that was robbed.
"Where's the bloody police?!"
Oh, obviously they're driving around the same roundabout...
All 100 Police cars...
Every fucking day...
Well, it was his fault for allowing all those doughnut shops to be set up there..
Just like irl! XD
I literally hurt myself laughing at the "Town hath too many gays" bit. Send help
That double-take at 3:21 is such a good little animation detail.
His summery of EA has definitely stood the test of time.
Poo map....I couldn't stop laughing
More games now a days need a Poo Map.
*****
FUCKING SOLD!
:D
i think i replayed that part at least 10 times
I absolutely adore Cities: Skylines, but the ONE SINGULAR THING that Simcity had over Cities: Skylines was the shit map. However, the sewerage AI was terrible, and all the shit would always go to the one treatment center and overflow it whilst the other center was full of a bunch of fat bastards who sat around doing nothing all day, at the most it would process the shit that came out of all the fat bastards when one of them got bored of doing his job of fuck all at the sewage plant and went and bought a fucktonne of Taco Bell.
ECL28E you'll grow out of it.
4 years later... And nothing has changed.
It's like war...
Fallout Sim City is a good idea changemymind
War has changed
That picture of him eloping with SimCity 4 always makes me smile.
His reaction at the mention of the poo map was just priceless.
4:05 Still one of my favorite parts of any ZP video.
"The theory was sound." XD
That's cannon now.
That's a typo. It was supposed to be Electronic Rats.
More like Electronic Ass
Evil Arseholes.
I like Extruding Arsholes better.
I thought it was Electronic Bastards, but they were too lazy to put in the rest of the letters.
Evil Arseholes
I love how at 0:45 the Origin shed has the Escapist watermark by it; making it look like EA own The Escapist.
Figgy it’s on the steam shed
Never noticed that until now
Wrong shed
Just FWY for the people confused, the video has a baked-in watermark (Steam shed, bottom left), but on the desktop version of YT, they also add the channel logo as an overlay over the video, in the bottom right.
(Presumably a cheap atempt to stop people from recording videos? As if there aren’t sites that let you download them anyway...)
This is why I play Cities: Skylines!
I would like to see him do a review on that game
Yahtzee 'n Gabe did something like a review for their Let's Drown Out episode of that game. Suffice to say, they had far more fun with Skylines than he did with Simcity.
watch?v=BAE0omLt9dk
It didnt exist back in 2013
Dark Designs That's beside the point. Skylines is still a far better game than SimCity.
CrazyCashGaming Of course but without Sim City, City Skylines wouldn't have been made.
If you feel that too many people will steal your game, then you have 2 options: 1 the first being, what EA did, shout fuck all you grubby little shits, step in line or you wont get anything for that 60 bucks. or 2, have you know good customer service and maybe make a game worth paying for, because no pirates will actual pay full retail if they cant steal it, they just wont play your game at all.
wow. crime DOES pay. too bad i don't know how to sell cracked copies on the internet.
***** not to be rude, but theres other options to pay on steam other than using mastercard. other than that, good for him. (i hope the police doesn't listen in on this)
***** ok.
Or 3 make it so that if the game is pirated it will trigger a program that will fuck with it and make it impossible to beat the game or have any fun with it like they did with the witcher
You just not have to be a dick basically. I know a guy who occasionally pirates, and he refuses to pirate telltale and paradox because they're just nice people.
>Well, there's a poo map.
>I beg your pardon?
>We've got a special map that let's you see all the poo, forming in big piles under people's houses. Then you can build an outlet pipe and watch all the poo speed away on a wee-wee one-way system.
> (beat) FUCKING SOLD!
Stay off 4chan kid.
I do, it just keeps invading like /i/
Yep, that's what he said in that part.
The city of ********** sounds like a very nice place to move to.
"Where are you from?"
"I'm dogbollockese, thank you"
orangesheepdog Hyde and I can get the new year so that you can get a few days of the new York city of
when yahtzee begins his preaching about extroverted idiots and multiplayer I swoon.
Sounds like you're going gay for Yahtzee. :D
Worth it
Not sure how I feel about that myself...I'm pretty introverted and I got WAAY into playing Halo 3 online years ago. I guess that's doesn't really count though, since I pretty much hated using the mic, hated getting friend requests, and in the event that I would accept one out of weakness, I would then try to sneak around all stealthy by turning off my "I'M ONLINE NOW!!!WOOOWOOO!!!!!!" icon so they wouldn't find me because I didn't have the strength to delete them.
@@VeritableSmorgasbord Jesus you just described me with Dota 2 perfectly. We're a group, we're a tribe, let's all... stand at a respectful distance and nod at each other.
I never found a way to disable the "I'm online" siren permanently, so whenever I hit the power button on my console it was a mad dash through the menus to find the option to turn it off in the
This is the first Yahtzee review to make me pause the video for 3 solid minutes while I laughed uncontrollably. That voice he did for the EA tentacle doll, especially when describing the poo map, obliterated my sides.
haha, best zero punctuation episode Ive seen yet
Same here.
I think his sarcastic Duke Nukem Forever video is the best.
I think my favorite is the DayZ episode
*****
People only liked that because it was that kind of bad that everyone agrees with, Yeah he disliked it, but it was just saying "Hey please point out how bad this game is". Dull and predictable.
CornishCreamtea07 I think he was referring to the fake one
"THIM THITY ITH THUPPOTHED TO BE PLAYED ONLINE, SND IF YOU CANT GET A THABLE CONNECTHION, YOURE NOT HAVING A GOOD EXPERIENTHE."
"I AGREE WITH THAT LAST PART"
+ASB “Anand SB” PCGamer I literally have to pause these videos every couple of seconds to laugh, but this one had me laughing for a while.
"I'd like to quote now from a statement made by Maxis... Which I will read in an insulting and dismissive voice." XDDDDDDDDD
Comedic genius... In that it's comedy 101: punchlines are funny when they're unexpected, when they twist the audience's expectations at the answer.
Choo-choo! All aboard the fun train! I Fucking died!
'Charge micropayments--'
FOR GOD'S SAKE CROSHAW DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS!!!
darastarscream Fast-forward to 2017....
If only you knew.
Too late
The Zooey deschanel part still kills me hahaha
She is my number one waifu since I was a kid.
And I had a dream that I was dating her and then she turned into a magical werefox before I realised I could also turn into a magical werefox.
DOGBOLLOCK
WE LICK 'EM
Pure gold. If only EA woulda let him do it...
One of his best videos, and the first one I ever watched. Thanks for informing as well as entertaining me for two years Yahtzee.
+Bondfall 007 this was first one I watched too- being so bummed about simcity I had a news program and had simcity as a topic, to see how big the hate got. I saw this pop up back in 2013 and was like WOW he nailed it, and I subscribed and kept up with his work since. :)
Wonder if we are gonna see Cities : Skylines any time soon...
Probably not because 1. the game actually works and 2. the game doesnt have poop maps
he could be all here EA this is what a successful game at launch looks like and you don't even have to dick everyone about...
Jack Kingston But it does let you flood cities with poop rivers.
7.8/10 not enough shit xD
Zatchooze Naut yea I saw that was a thing, although I only watched a bit of it due to how boring it was.
So many fantastic one liners in this
...but I am waiting for Zooey Deschanel to drag me off...
Acer Ng | But not everyone.
Same here.
I want her to drag me off to the skating rink, the cinema, the record store, the library, the cyber gadget store and the nearest furry convention.
"why did you click this video" because i wanna hear someone complain about ea
Oh my god, I'm so glad I've found you, I haven't had such a good laugh in a really long time
"...meant to be played online"
Then why have they recently added a single player mode?
This video was released a year ago today, so how the hell would he know that they RECENTLY added a single player mood?
xBornPredatorx That was aimed at EA. "We added a single player mode even though we first said it was meant to be played online."
EHH246 Well it's mostly because DRM was no longer needed cause the game's been already cracked and not that many people actually want to play it. Now they can shut down servers and save a lot of money.
EHH246 And here I was hoping EA finally found a brain cell and realized that city builder games were meant to be single player to promote creativity.
TheZaphod88
The Jonestown Daycare joke was horrible, yet so insanely funny. XD
:(
I don't care what Video of your I'm watching I always end up Laughing Uncontrollably!!
It's amazing how well the intro holds up.
I like how anything with a slightly yellow background immediately becomes a related video when I view ZP videos without logging in.
So, Yahtzee has played The Binding of Isaac? 0:55
Fucking sold!
You my friend should be given an award for not only the most creative, but most dead on accurate comparison that I have ever seen.
love the music at the end
3:19 Just went and bought Sim City. mainly because of the poo map.
"Let's all laugh at an industry that never learns anything, teeheehee!"
"I beg you pardon?" Love that part xD
I like it when people watch so much Zero Punctuation that it gets to the point where they basically turn into Yahtzee when they get mad, or make fun of someone.
Hell I even do it.
I actually think in his voice when i get pissed off or i feel like making fun of something.
Thy town hath too many gays.
+Muhammad abu sayeed rahman I heard bleach is really tasty this time of year.
Shut up, I wanted to make San Francisco.
Luther Olayemi I'm dying that's too fucking funny. I can barely see the screen through my tears.
Yahtzee sounds really drunk if you watch it at half speed
oh the "how to win friends, and..." quote really killed me :DD
This is one of the best reviews.
Love Yahtzee, the last few seconds show he can poke fun at himself ^_^
You know what pissed me off at this game? Wasn't able to play it. I got up, went down to the Christmas tree, waited for mum to take pictures, opened my gifts, (including SimCity 2013 that I asked for) and played with the new DS games I got. Later in the day, I downloaded and made an account for origin and then put in the activation code 'Sorry' said the program 'We didn't quite get that properly' so I re-entered the code and the program spat at me and said 'Sorry, Pal, that code is invalid'. So, I felt like throwing shit but managed to calm down. Luckily for me, mum spoiled me and bought an entirely new SimCity 2013 game box for me, activation code, CD and everything. Typed in the code. 'Sorry' said the program 'We didn't quite get that properly' at this point I was feeling a bit of Deja Vu. And wadda you know 'Sorry,Pal, that code is invalid'. How about this EA, I mused to myself- I will never give you, or ask someone to give you any money anymore you motherfucking scammer. At which point I went back to mindlessly playing Pokémon again.
That's weird. The same thing happened to me but then with Alice: Madness Returns. (Not the best game, I know.) But maybe EA did that on purpose to me because I kept 'harassing' the customer service with questions about missing level objects, which prevented me from playing beyond 10% completion.
I got a free sim city game that looks old from the on the house in origin
Jones NotReal Are you sure you typed the code in right? Did you even bother trying to contact customer service?
***** I typed each code in over ten times, and also I don't like dealing with strangers (face to face) and it was just a game, doesn't matter to me now
the Zoey Deschanel thing was a reference to the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" trope (which Zoey has often played). The idea behind the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" is that "boring introverted" men need an exciting spunky girlfriend to "fix" their "problems" (problems meaning being introverted and "boring")
finding a zp video you have not seen before is just a great feeling
Haha, this one is the absolute best. I absolutely loved it.
Btw. Is there actually a new feature called "poo map"? :D
yeah its the pollution map
Russ no, thats for the air, there is a map in which you can see the flow of your sewers
Yeah, it's pretty funny to watch once you place down the first sewage treatment building or whatever.
Even to this day it still tickles me that EA put out such a shitty game thinking they had cornered the market on city simulators only to be entirely overshadowed by Cities Skylines that did everything better on a smaller budget in Unity.
Outstanding episode. I've been watching for years and have never commented before. This one made it worth remembering my login.
This is one of the funniest reviews Yahtzee's done IMO xD The poo map was the best bit LOL. I also love the silly voice he uses for the EA puppet xD
I should torture myself because I actually wanna try SimCity, and I feel like even touching SimCity will make me a dirty EA Loyalist.
you will miss your money later.
Yeah, I know. Which is why I'll stick to playing SimCity 4: Deluxe when I can get it out of the garage. Most of my games are packed, as we recently moved.
*****
lol my 64 is someware in my garage never to be seen again.
I see. I'm sorry to hear that, man. Did you have any good games for it?
*****
tones man DK 64, vigilante 8, 1080 snowboarding, mario 64, zelda Majoras mask and ocorina of time, and a lot of others
Maybe EA now stands for Extrovert Appealers
You explained censorship perfectly with the 'Dogbollock' fiasco.
This is easily my favourite Zero Punctuation video.
i am going to have a steam bath
As an extrovert, I feel I must say I HATE ONLINE GAMES. If I wanted to be insulted and feel inferior in the game, I'd just go to my friends in real life. At least I like them and can drinks with them.
Evi1M4chine I know this comment is old, but the fuck are you talking about? Wtf triggered that response!?
Online games actually make me feel more alone as these strangers you play against may as well be bots.
Multiplayer only really works with friends, not usually with strangers.
oh boy, i realy liked that bit at the end.
This is one of the best reviews, that I have ever seen.
There were two things I hated about this game.
1) The AI was stupid. It was nails on chalkboard painful to watch your public services form a swarm and all try to service the same problem at the same time. It was worse than the walkers in a Sierra historical city simulator. At least with the walkers you could place road blocks that occasionally forced them to do their job. In this game you would add a new bus to help out and it then watch it inevitablly get drawn into the swarm of buses that stalked your city like swarm of retarded locusts.
2) It was hard to get some of the special industries off the ground. I tried to make a gambling town, and after a certain point the crowds would just shrink no matter what I did.
I'm waiting for Google Earth to add a poo map feature!
"I beg your pardon?" jajajajajaja! Can't stop laughing!
This was one of the best kritiks i have ever seen!
I played the game for a week... 6months ago...
same
The game is over eight months old and still has major problems that have yet to be addressed, but they seemed to have time to develop an expansion pack. Maxis has really gone downhill.
I began at laugh just by your post, then began to laugh so hard I forgot how to breath when he actually said it.
Love these videos
I could really use Zooey Deschanel kicking down my door and taking me to a skating rink :)
thirsty little virgins
D Williams, not a virgin, and I wasn't asking for sex. Just think Deschanel is cute, that's all, Keyser, on the other hand... well I can't vouch for him.
Same here.
She’s my OG celeb crush since I was a kid.
I also had this really sweet dream where I was dating her.
But then she turned into a magical werefox before I also turned into a magical werefox, then the date was with us flying around with our new magic fox forms.
this is his best review i reckon.
This is a unique review in a sence it has 2 whole paragraphs with pauses for more than 1 second.
The voice he uses to read the Maxis quote sounds like a voice Jim would use.
Don't forget origin giving everyone malware and slowing down your computer! :D
What the hell happened to the SimCity Societies ZP? Can't find it anywhere.
"and before you say anything, my opinions are actually very clever!" hahaha
that last bit had me cracking up xD
so basically a facebook game with no microtransactions
PURGE
Your profile pic is an appropriate response pic.
Also it made me LOL.
"No it's alright it'll be FUN!"
~ Little Finger Puppet
I'm an extreme introvert but I'd love for Zooey Deschanel to smash my door down and take me to a roller rink.
OMG this
God traffic was soo bad in this game! my city only ever struggled because of the traffic, then I discovered in sandbox mode you could just give yourself infinite cash which gave me 10mins of joy before no longer caring and uninstalling
your best video ever, yatzhee
This is one of his best videos
I have to say, I watched a couple of this guy's videos and I just have to say 3:31
poo map = game of the year
This is truly fantastic.
Poo Map.
*FUCKING SOLD!*