When I was growing up, whenever I got mad at my dad for making me doing something or not letting me do something, he would always say "it's not my job to be your friend, it's my job to be your dad" and at the time that made me mad... but as an adult I think back to that as a sign of what a good father he was and I'll try to raise my kids with the same mindset.
Sounds like you had a pretty good dad. I tell that to my students all the time (It's my job to be your teacher, not your friend. I am here to help you have a better future, not make you feel good.) A lot of students have weak parents, and I see the consequences of it in the classroom. Students become scared of taking chances and making mistakes, so I have to be a counterbalance to those parents, and set the example of what the real world will be like. My job would be a hell of a lot easier if parents actually parented.
@@HJRO Sounds like the Kind of teacher that would not actually explain to a Student how to solve the math equation, but instead just give students more and more of those for Homework. As if that would do the Trick. I had a teacher like that once. I failed the test so tremendously, that my former math teacher involved the principal, because I should have passed excellently. So they let me Repeat the test. I failed again. Saying: he never taught me anything. He answered my questions with "I don't answer STUPID questions". I got another repetition. My mom called up my brother's friend who was good at math back at school. He answered my question. It was a 5 Minute Phone call, before he was off to work. And I got a b-. I Cry when I Think about what I could have gotten if he was my teacher for those months leading up to the test. I had plenty of teachers like that. I got an endless row of a+ at their classes. But because I just knew, not because they taught me. I saw others fail miserably and those teachers telling them "I cannot explain that, you just have to understand it". There are far too many inadequate teachers pretending to teach - while only sorting out.
@@HJRO If you are a teacher, my own evaluation of a teacher's success is if the student graduates with a curiosity that can never be quelled. Daniel Boorstin wrote a trilogy of "Discoverers", "Creators", and "Seekers", all of which are fantastic.
@@dag681 Jordan Peterson has an answer to that, too. Don't let you kids do things, that make you not like them. It will make other people not like them, too. So if your kid does something, that makes you feel uncomfortable, correct it.
@@byron4545 Inexact answer by JP. A father may have to overlook something they do not like in a child. Some fathers are irritated to easily. Others try to control to control behavior based on some arbitrary ideas. Ive raised several kids, two of my own. All have become outstanding in thier lives, prospreous and good citizens.
@@dag681 There's a difference between not liking something and finding that thing annoying. JP only alludes to things that society will teach them in a much harsher manner if the parents don't correct it.
exactly lol but instead now it seems like most people raise their kids to believe that they're "special" and nothing should ever offend them...... like hey kids, no offense, but the simple truth is 99.9% of you are literally *NOT* special in any way whatsoever, the world owes you *nothing*, and it's up to *YOU* to find your own way, find your own happiness, and find your own comfort in this life, it's not up to the rest of society to make sure you're coddled to the point where people don't have to worry about these things themselves as they grow
@@thomasbenner9621 Yup, blame the schools and its teachers. If you had a clue, it goes back to Laura Bush and "no child left behind"; how America traded metrics for responsibility. Keep telling more erroneous lies.
I was in a hobby store playing a tabletop game and some kid came over and started picking up the terrain off our board. I gently but firmly took it off him and said "That is part of our game, you can't touch it". A minute later the kid's dad came storming over to me and started screaming at me in front of the whole store about how I'd "snapped at his kid and made him cry". I was flabbergasted and just tried to de-escalate the situation as much as possible, but afterwards I realised the dude's kid has probably never heard the word "no" in his life.
Kudos to you! ☺For giving that child at least that ONE chance to grow up properly. Doesn't look like the dad can. He must be terrified of his master. I mean, his kid.
Yeah my buddy and I are trying to break his 4yo nephew of this exact habit right now. Anytime you discipline the kid, the kid just absolutely melts down into a puddle of tears and tantrums and it's like "kid, you're being a brat, there's no reason to cry over, just DONT DO it again, that's all. Doesn't mean we don't like you or something? lol
I am an atheist. I don't believe in the existence of God. There is insufficient evidence or rational justification to support the belief in any gods or supernatural entities. I rely on reason, logic, and empirical evidence to form my worldview and do not find compelling evidence or arguments to support the existence of god.
Maybe. Maybe it's social media. Who knows? Bill provides no proof. I absolutely agree that moddycoddling children and bargaining with them is detrimental to both parties - and that children need the security of confident parents. Nonetheless, Bill can represent the voice of reason very well given the limitations of the form. Funny guy!
My brother was super pampered and allowed absolutely everything. And Today he doesn't consider "not beeing on drugs" his biggest success. Instead he is a super successful lawer. The Cousins, that had parents beeing strict, are successes in your book: they are not in drugs. Yeah That's it. Heck. Even I am not on drugs. And I was raped as a child and am Now completely unable to Take Care of myself. Maybe...if men like you.. who consider themselves successful for not beeing on drugs...would have kept their hands to themselves more ....there would be fewer people like me with ptsd. It's worth a thought.
My pops never gave any big speeches, he wasn’t a self proclaimed “alpha male.” He just went to work, stayed faithful to mom, and fixed stuff when it broke. He set the example, didn’t have to say much. I will love and cherish him forever on account of these traits and I saw what a lack of fathers have done to some of my peers. If God smiles upon me and gives me just one child, I pray I can be half as good as my father.
I'm 66 years old now and when I was a kid of course I got away with a lot of stuff. The reason for this is because my parents were busy working. I started working at 13 like most kids of my generation with a paper route. When I was 18 I went into the Navy and then devoted my life to becoming a mechanic. My point is my parents were tough and demanded that my sister and I become self sefishent . Pardon my spelling. Bill is write . Kids these days don't know a damn thing about anything. Something needs to change. And it will. When I'm long dead and gone.
My father grew up during the depression, the son of Italian immigrants. He took care of things at home at the age of 12 when his father had to go work in the coal mines in Pennsylvania. He had a lot of setbacks but became an engineer and provided a beautiful home for his family. He never lied, cheated or took anything. And he didn’t try to control his adult children. I never once considered disrespecting him.
I am the proud father of a Department of the Navy official. The summer before his last year of college, he went to ROTC Summer Camp and my ex-wife and I were competing to help him with his luggage, when he stopped us and exclaimed, “I’m planning to become a leader of men, and my parents don’t believe I can handle my own luggage.” We backed off and he turned out well.
@@michaeldoliveira720How’s that corny from a frustrated ROTC watching his parents compete for his affection? Jesus, are you that out of touch with reality that someone’s anecdotal experience makes them sound “corny”? It’s really too bad that the guy defending your right to post dumb comments is getting ridiculed by some random person on the internet for sounding too “corny”. Get a grip bud.
@@benwilson6559 first off, I asked if he used that language. I never said he did. Second, the experience doesn't make them corny. The language is what's corny here.
I agree with the Trad Dad. My late husband was teaching our boys to be honest or could not help them. Boundaries were set. Always taught them to respect women. They are confident adults. I am a proud Mom.
Teaching your kids to love themselves and others has nothing to do worth tradition,its really about good parenting and most of you are apparently bad at it.its you, not them.
I am an old (retired) dad of two small boys. I live in an "enlightened" community, dominated by people pretty much as Bill described today's parents. My wife and I are moderately strict at home and outside. People often look at us like we are some kind of monsters for disciplining our boys, but the boys are starting to come around. On his final 1st grade report card of the year, my older son's teacher wrote: "I will really miss him next year. His smile is infectious; he is a kind and joyful child. He typically works hard on class assignments. He often says, “Well, I did my best,” and I know it is true. He seems to have matured a good deal this year, too." Thanks, Bill, for helping to restore my confidence that we are on the right track.
Bill, it's clear you don't like Trump, but pause and ask yourself if liberals are not the progenitor of the various social catastrophic issues facing us today. I'm glad you are rising in opposition to this, but consider whether it may be just too late. This country,indeed the West, is in a steady and irreversible decline toward barbrism. Did you notice that the House, with bipartisan support, voted to automatically register boys 18-28 for the draft?
@@danlambert1061 Liberalism makes people too sensitive, that is not catastrophic. Global Warming denial, vaccine denial, no gun laws, forcing women with ectopic pregnancies to die for the team, that is catastrophic. And that is the other side and their insanity. Both are nuts, but one is far more harmful.
Proud trad dad here. I couldn't agree more with what was said here. Also, I'd like to add, stop plunking an iPad in front of your kid when you go out to dinner. Kids need to learn how to socialize, talk to a server, say please and thank you to a stranger, and how to behave in public without being entertained. The first couple of times it might be hard but that's the job.
Couldn't agree more. It's even worse when parents let their kids play games or watch 5V at the table in restaurants. Not only do they not learn how to socialise but everyone else in the restaurant has to listen to the awful tinny noise and no one dares say anything about it.
My neighbor recently complained about the tall privacy fence my wife had installed between our yards. I informed him that we didn't want to spend the $6k on the fence but were forced into it because his adopted daughter (who was not a brat when they adopted her years ago) might get her hand bit by our dog because she wouldn't stop sticking her hand through the fence, and we were afraid of the liability. She'd been told repeatedly by her father not to stick her hand through the fence. In addition, we were finding food thrown into our yard. I further informed him that he wasn't doing the kid (or the world) any favors letting her do whatever the f*** she wanted (the kid ignores ANY direction given by her father) because some day she'd be an adult and she wasn't going to be able to cope with a world with rules and behavioral norms regarding authority. That went over like a turd in a punchbowl. I guess we are not even not even friendly anymore (we were never what I'd consider friends). Luckily the privacy fence is 6' tall. I stand by what I said, though... his right to raise his child anyway he wants ends at my propery line. Children need discipline and boundaries plus respect for authority.
I am an elementary school teacher. A few years ago a group of boys taped together several sticks into one long stick and hid it on the playground. When they were at recess they stuck the stick through the fence and jabbed at the dog next door. This went on for a couple of weeks. The dog developed a nervous condition and got the mange. When the boys were caught their parents just laughed and laughed. They never got in trouble.
I taught school for 25 years. There were two types of parents. Parent A: What did my kid do? and Parent B: What did you do to make my kid do that? Bill is right...We need a lot more of Parent A
I got a real ass whooping when I got home if I got one at school. The most terrifying thing to a kid should be "don't make me tell your father". It was to me.
I was raised in Nigeria. Safe to say we don't have this problem here. Disobeying him wasn't even on the table. Talking back to him was anathema (until I became an adult anyway). He would literally beat the piss out of you if you so much as think of disobeying him. However, he bought us lots of stuff, always paid the bills, and was friendly. Never took a bribe, worked hard at his job at a university. He was a man I loved dearly but feared greatly, and that kept me sane. I don't fear him anymore, being grown and all (late twenties). We laugh a lot and I always seek his counsel. I love my dad.
@@GregorBarclay Certainly. I wasn't trying to say he beat me a lot, though. My dad didn't flog me up to 20 times in my life. In Africa, that's impressive. I do think some things deserve that kind of a flogging. I'm not a westerner after all, and I don't understand why y'all don't flog your kids. On one such occasion, I and my brother broke the glass windows in my house playing soccer. My dad had let us off previously with a warning. This time however ... My dad didn't "spank" us. He flogged us with a hose 😂. We never did it again.
At least he bought you lots of stuff. My dad would not buy us anything. He would send me to the store to buy him a soda or orange juice bottle but he would not buy me one.
3:00 - I was just having this conversation last week that you don’t hear “the world doesn’t revolve around you” as much anymore. Kudos to Bill on this one for bringing that back.
As a high school teacher I can attest to this. Not only are they anxious, they are angry and don’t know how to deal with all the emotions that have been repressed by gentle parents. They have no coping skills.
@@helenbodel3974C’mon dude. For most people Covid was just sitting in your room for a few weeks. Kids are NOT traumatized by this. No the real problem is that the school system and many parents took away any sort of discipline and consequences for their actions. I’m a high school teacher and I can tell you it’s bad. Kids will literally try and turn things in a semester late and be baffled as to why a teacher won’t accept it all the while hardly showing up to class.
Oof. I'm glad I graduated from high school in 2013 and I am so grateful that I was raised by parents who were strict but fair. In my opinion parenting needs to be a good balance of strictness (structure, discipline, punishment, boundaries, and so forth) with fairness (listening, empathy, understanding, compassion, etc.) When I was in high school I was a rather shy, reserved and quiet student; but I was also polite, helpful and had high levels of respect for the faculty and administrative staff. Of course it started in elementary school and continued through middle school and high school. Plus I was (and still am) a bit of a bookworm as I feel at my happiest in a library.
@@michellereed3272 He never said that gentle parenting was the ONLY cause. Plus even parents who aren’t technically “gentle parenting” are still kowtowing to their kids far more than any previous generation or are just letting phones raise their kids, which effectively is a kind of non-parenting like gentle parenting.
Not shocking, I've seen that percentage myself in my interviews, but Bill needs to rephrase it. Kids don't "bring" their parents. The parents insist on coming with.
@@noli.me.tangere Exactly, the parents are insisting that they join their kids with job interviews. The kids just want their freedom but the republicans are too obsessed with safety.
As a teacher, I (at least think) I can tell, when a kid is not used to hearing 'no'. They will give you that look, that says: What just happened? They seem to have this attitude that goes: I made/did it, so it has to be good. The idea, that your first draft will probably not be the best possible version of any piece of work, is alien to them.
They also keep asking for the same thing over and over when you say no. I tell them all they are doing is irritating me and the answer was given. They get it pretty fast. Everyone wants to blame teachers for children’s poor behavior. Put the blame where it lies. - with parents who drop their children off at school and expect schools to rear them. I just retired this year (30 years HS math). I will miss my students something awful. I could write a novel on what I won’t miss, my students won’t be a chapter in that book.
Yes or they say "but I've put my hand up" expecting me to answer their 15 millionth question... I've been so tempted to put the dictionary definition of "no" on the wall somewhere, just so I can point to something and not waste any more words on it 😅
A good friend of mine is just like this. Him and his wife are ruled by their 7 year old, they have no control. They will tell him "no" several times, he'll ignore them, and then they'll turn to me and start talking as if nothing is going on. In my mind I'm thinking, "Do you notice he didn't listen to a word you said, are you going to do anything about it?" This goes on all day. I truly feel sorry for his teachers.
Haha! I always laugh when I hear parents say that crap. "I'm not telling you again!!!" Yet I've heard them shout that at the kid six times in the last six minutes. The kid realized long ago that the command is meaningless and that he/she is in control.
@@lancerbiker5263 Yes, and I just wanted to remind everyone how much your parents will appreciate a little Thank You. It means more to them when they don't expect it, like Mother's day and Father's day. I use Thanksgiving as a perfect time to send out Thank You cards to my family who have been there for me. They really appreciate getting a handwritten card just saying how much you appreciate them.
"What if Axe body spray coule talk?" I laughed out loud so hard! Seriously though, Andrew Tate is a juvenile's fantasy of what a "real man" is. This is why a "trad dad", as Bill has dubbed them, is so very important.
every previous generation said this about the next generation. not everyone sucks, but when they do, we remember them forever. we don't remember the good ones we see out in the world.
He's 100% correct. Kids don't know any better, so it's a Mom or Dad's job to teach them better. My parents were super hard on me most of my childhood. Now I'm not hooked on drugs or alcohol, I don't do any criminal crap, and I can face a stressful situation without having a panic attack.
That's great but it's also a meatball argument There's plenty of parents who were hard on their kids Who are now drug addicts Maybe parents need to go back to running their houses like dictators more But it's not called the hardest job on the world for no reason Cuz its not that simple
@@samwills8056 Well, if you're hard on your kids and teach them right from wrong, they'll be more level headed. That's the point I was trying to make. It'd be obvious if you... you know... read the comment.
= You are a normal, mentally healthy, responsible adult. Congratulations to you and your parents! It's a shame that we took parenting to the other extreme - from hard, beating, violent fathers to fathers who don't know what to do, or how to say NO! and how to protect their children in situations when it really matters.
My brother was super pampered and allowed absolutely everything. And Today he doesn't consider "not beeing on drugs" his biggest success. Instead he is a super successful lawer. The Cousins, that had parents beeing strict, are successes in your book: they are not in drugs. Yeah That's it. Heck. Even I am not on drugs. And I was raped as a child and am Now completely unable to Take Care of myself. Maybe...if men like you.. who consider themselves successful for not beeing on drugs...would have kept their hands to themselves more ....there would be fewer people like me with ptsd. It's worth a thought.
I think my dad had the right balance when raising us. My granddad was from the generation where fathers were taught not to show affection to their kids because it would make them weak. He raised a solid man out of my dad, but he always wished he could've had a more affectionate relationship with him. Fast forward to my siblings and me, and he had a good balance of disciplining us but also showing the love and affection he wanted from my granddad. He always made it a point for us to know that he was our dad, not our friend, but that he loved us more than anything in the world. I hope to be able to replicate that for my kids.
It’s a difficult balance, but mainly it’s important just to show them more love than “physical discipline” such as paddling or spanking (etc). Even with a time out at two minutes, they get a hug of three minutes with a detailed explanation of why things happened this way after their behavior dictated the response.
I'm glad that you and others were so fortunate. If only more had been, and would/will be. Generational propagated developmental trauma (not talking about snowflake crap) has far reaching societal consequences and wildly variable detrimental individual effects and outcomes. It's great when one generation can carry on what was done well, and one generation can be the last to carry on what was done terribly wrong (either coddling or brutalizing). Our only hope lies therein, seems to me.
That’s what I’m trying to do. I am super affectionate and cuddly. I do silly voices. But when I have had to be stern, I don’t yell, it is just my phrasing that gets it done. “I don’t know why you are standing there confused, my instructions were clear, and I demand immediate obedience to orders.” I don’t know if it is working. They scream “dad” when I get home and rush me for hugs. I have to put them to bed. When scared they run to me and not mom.
I worked with a woman who said once, when her son was sassing her, her husband told the kid,” That’s my wife. Nobody talks to her like that!” Kid got the message.
Well, that's not much better. He shouldn't be teaching the kid that the reason not to sass his mom is because she is owned by a man, but because it's not respectful of HER.
@@jaynehenderson5240 …or maybe he just reminded the kid that they, the parents, are a united front and that they have authority over him during his formative years.
"Gentle Parenting" in an Asian household is when you parents let you choose the item they beat you with. Apparently a lot of people in the comments don't understand what a joke is. It's a fictional, exaggerated line that usually surprises the reader with some kind of misunderstanding or irony. If you find this offensive, please for your own sake, don't ever watch a comedy stand up on TH-cam.
My mother would let you choose between a spanking now or three days of grounding, which meant no leaving your room except eating and bathroom. By the time the three days went by, you wound up getting a spanking anyway for not staying in your room. I learned early, just take the spanking and save yourself some time
Staunch Conservative here (Not republican), but you sir, are on point a lot of the time. We can agree to disagree on things, but you are the democrat Liberal that makes sense. Old School, OG republican, and i wish more were like you. Discourse is not defined as hating the person you disagree with. Kudos Bill. JH in NC
I tend to classify the Republican party into two groups: the first group is what I call "common sense Republicans" as they don't fervently worship Donald Trump. Meanwhile the MAGA Republicans are pretty easy to spot as they worship Donald and think of him as a God.
I'm a moderate Democrat and agree with Bill 100% on this. People do their children a disservice when they fail to correct them and prepare them for adulthood.
THANK YOU! I remember growing up. When we were in public and we misbehaved, we'd get THE LOOK and we would STFU. We didn't test what the next step would be. And I'm a millenniel!
The next step was being taken outside (outside the restaurant, store, etc.). And no one wanted to be taken outside. As Bill Engvall brilliantly put it, "Outside, there are no witnesses!"
I am a child of the late 50s, and all our dad would have to say is "If I have to tell you again," and we'd behave. We never tested what our Dad would do if we didn't behave.
I'm more a trad dad but I never liked the phrase "because I said so" so I replace it with "I'll explain it later" and give them natural consequences so that kids understand that there are rules and consequences in life for a reason.
I never liked hearing “because I said so” from my parents. They weren’t very authoritarian and usually explained why. But sometimes they’d snap that line at us, and it did teach me an important thing in life: there’s always a hierarchy, and sometimes it’s pointless to go against the person in charge.
That's nonsense. Look at all the kids growing up in the forest or on the tropical islands among the native people. Parenting is naturally the most simple thing in the world as long as you stay away from the society and live in the nature. Only parents trying to grow kids in toxic environment full of advertising have problems...
@@Rasarel So what, we all just move away from most cities and live in the woods or on a tropical island? The world is growing and can be dealt with, but coddling a child too much only makes them ill equipped for a time when they will be on their own. I raised my 3 just fine and they are happy in their lives. All I had to do was keep them safe, teach them to think for themselves and support them in their interests. In keeping them safe, setting boundaries was part of it and even in their teenage years they did not complain. Being a parent is about putting forth effort, but the right effort in the right ways.
@@Smokie_666 you didn't understand my comment. I'm just saying people who don't want to do parenting don't have to, because children in the nature don't have a personality. Personality is created in the kindergarten around 4-6 years of age. Kids in the nature don't create a personality, they stay individuals. I blame poor education in the US schools. It looks like people don't have a choice but in reality they have
My parents were very loving, they were good at communicating with one another and with us. They loved us very much and we knew it. I also heard the word 'no' a lot, and my mom's catch phrase was "life's not fair". They were strict about how we spoke to adults. They demonstrated the importance of showing up to our responsibilities like housework, school, and jobs. I think their balanced approach prepared me for the real world without giving me emotional baggage to carry around. I'm very lucky and grateful for this, and I would like to raise children of my own someday because I think I was given a good blueprint.
I was parked in front of my friend’s house and his kids started leaning on my car etc. and he immediately said to them, we don’t climb on other peoples’ cars. I remarked, wow, it is still possible to raise them right. He’s a great Dad. ❤
Unfortunately, my son is raising my grandbaby this way and I don't understand. I raised him kindly with boundaries and standards. My grandbaby gets whatever she wants and if she doesn't has a tantrum. Does not matter where we are; restaurant, store, the park. At 2.5 years she asked for a queen bed when she transtioned from her crib. He bought it. Not only that but she has had anxiety since 15 months old. My son doesn't understand. I told him that he is creating that anxiety by asking her what she wants and when like when she wants to go to bed. He's asking her to be responsible for making these decisions. No amount of me explaining how negative this is gets through to him; he does not understand. He says, "she's happy and that's all I care about." Drives me up the wall. I barely visit and it's sad. I told him one time, 'it's not even nice to be around my own grandaughter because she is beyond spoiled and it taints everything." She even once punched me and my son thought it was funny. He says, "oh, she's never done that before." Instead of correcting her and disciplining her and telling her that it was wrong.
Continue to teach and discipline her properly and she will learn. Kids need boundaries and they know it, and, even if it's long down the road, will ultimately learn from what you've taught her Much Love 🙏🏻💕
"she's happy and that's all I care about." Ooh yeah, that is some arse-about way of thinking. It's so easy to spot the kids who never hear the word "no". I wish you (and society) good luck for the future.
Sounds EXACTLY like my little niece. She is as Bill says, a "terrorist." Her tantrums have been so numerous, loud, and violent that one can truly NEVER enjoy Life within her presence. My sister-in-law and brother are too arrogant to be willing to comprehend that they've created a problem child.
I am a doctor. Multiple times, I've had parents ask their 5 year olds if they think they need an XRay rather than take my advice. I recommended a wrist splint for a 3 year old and his dad asked him, "Do you think you need a wrist splint?" Do you think that kid even knows what a wrist splint is? They don't even make medical decisions for their toddlers. They trust 5 years olds' medical opinions more than that of the doctor. It is absolutely disgusting. God only knows the anxiety these kids have when their parents refuse to take responsibility for their medical care. I kid you not, once a father brought in his daughter who had elbow pain. I examined her and told him that there was no indication of a fracture. So he asked her if she wanted an XRay (wanted, like it's a sweet) and then when she said yes, he said, "Well I hope you know we will be waiting a long time then." I'm sorry, but what the actual fuck is going on here? Why is he asking her at all? And then getting annoyed with her for answering as a child (of course she wants to see her bones)? Hello!!!!!!!! You are her parent!!!!! She is not an adult!!!!!!!!
New rule: Wait until the end to applaud. Sure, laugh a little during the clip, but for all that is holy knock it off with all the clapping. Thanks. As for parenting, remind kids that the house is not a democracy, it's a benevolent dictatorship.
I'm getting into the stage of having children. Me and my wife talked about this situation, and she initially disagreed. But I explained to her, if everytime we ask our child to do something and they "deserve" an explanation, their whole life becomes "why should I?"
It's the pseudo mental health practitioners with masters' degrees in preschool and a 6-week counseling certificate pathologizing everything that are to blame.
A high percentage of teachers also have "zero" motivation to do anything but just get by & get paid that full-year's salary & benefits for 9 months on the clock, all weekends/holidays off, a week break in spring & fall & 2 weeks at Christmas, summers to do whatever they want to include taking up a second job adding to their income for the year, as well as time off to protest that they aren't taken care of well enough, & all the rest of it. And it's never been easier for that kind to make their way, just fine, since there is nothing within the system, as it now stands, to see them kicked out & replaced with better. There are still some very, very good people in education but, just like in every other field & "profession", they ain't in the majority. My kid graduated high school last week with a 4.03 GPA, so he's not among the problem students, & his excellent 43 year-old homeroom/English teacher told me privately that she is, "..just so tired of working with people paid to be teachers who don't even like children at all; ..it's never been an easier job in a number of ways, but still too many don't care to do it well ..". I also have a sister who took early retirement from teaching last year, who said that it wasn't the kids or even the parents who she'd finally gotten fed up with (although they were "no picnic anymore", either), it was, "..way too many of the co-workers & administrators who are in it for all the wrong reasons & have never really given a $h!t ..". My point is that, realistically speaking, there are some great, engaged, well-intentioned teachers & parents still around, but then there are the $h!theads on both sides, as well. Parents, mostly, aren't what they used to be & neither, mostly, are the people who get paid to educate their children. Just like neither are librarians, who used to make people either shut the hell up or get out, but who now do at least as much chattering & distracting as any of the library customers & no longer care at all how people treat the books or even whether they are returned or not. Just like waiters/waitresses, store clerks, cops, phone-in customer service workers (when you can ever get one that isn't just a machine), doctors & their office staff, auto mechanics, hotel staff, ..Christ, fill the rest of it in with anybody you can think of, .....nothing is done now the way it used to be. I can't all be the fault of "the parents', only the $h!t that they actually did do. So, I'm not taking up for anybody as a group; ..I'm taking up for Nobody but the individuals I know to be those outliers who actually rate appreciation & support.
Teachers have to deal with kids who aren't classroom-ready. Some Parents give their kids smartphones before teaching them how to tie their shoes, and some of these kids can't sit down and shut up long enough to learn. Basic manners and respect aren't being taught at home.
The results are in: I'm dealing with young people in the workplace whose first priority is to let me know what their anxieties are so that the rest of us can work around their condition. I have interview candidates whose very first questions are about vacation, benefits and how we plan to accommodate each of their personal situations. Questions about the job itself are rare and/or last. On their first day, they want to know why they're not invited into senior management meetings. These are people who are used to running the show at home, so they're truly puzzled why that's not the case anymore.
@@direwolf6234 Really??? I wasn't even scratching the surface. I literally had 3 of them confront me in the conference room as to why they weren't invited to senior mgmt meetings. I assigned one girl a media project (she was the media coordinator) and she looked at me and growled like a little kid "I don't LIKE to do that stuff!". I could write pages. But instead of acknowledging what many of us are going through, you chose the cheap, lazy response and accused me of exaggerating. No need to guess what age group you're in.
@direwolf6234 I'm not the hiring manager for my department. You must be 70 because you seem unaware of the labor shortage we've been enduring for a number of years, not to mention the overall severe decline of candidates in the application pool. These are the choices we're stuck with. A lot of broad conclusions from you.
Millennials were taught that conflict is bad and we should avoid it at all costs. That doesn’t work with raising children, which requires tons of conflict with your child to get them to grow into a functioning adult.
I never believed the adage “The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree” until I moved to a beautiful neighborhood near a University. Fortunately, I met many of the Parents whose young adults attended it. My adjectives for them are: Indulgent, pampered, entitled, overprotective, blah, blah, blah. It is not a beautiful picture.
I’ve been an educator for many years. This how I see gentle parenting translating to the classroom: students lack discipline, diligence, and grit. I’m an empty nester whose career has been working with children, but when I go to a restaurant, movie theater etc. I look around for where the children are and then I ask to sit as far away as possible. We’ve had many meals ruined by children’s behavior and the parent’s inability to correct them. Children need their parents to be parents and their peers to be their friends. Mr. Maher, I agree children need structure, routine, order, and adults who behave like grownups. When these behaviors are present it allows children to relax and feel safe. Children then can feel free to learn and just be kids.
If anything, I find the lazy parents and their kids are SILENT at restaurants, because they simply let junior zombify themself with an iPad or a phone. Although I've also had junior playing their video at 100% volume which is a different kind of annoying.
Both my kids are adults now and very well adjusted. One rule we applied from the get go was the "No tantrum rule". In simple terms, they could have a tantrum whenever they want, but they would NEVER get the outcome that the tantrum was intended to achieve. Kids need loving boundaries. Need structure. Give them that then that's the best chance you give them of developing into well adjusted functioning adults.
Yep. My wife stopped those tantrums right away. They are teenagers now. If they roll their eyes now, she smacks the shit out of them. My sons friends say she is scary.
I'm a younger millennial who had extremely abusive parents (I guess not past tense, they're still alive) - truly, and I don't use these words lightly, sociopaths who didn't just beat us with a belt, but, made a 2" thick wooden paddle with holes "because then it hurts more" solely to beat the hell out of us with, wouldn't feed us properly to the point my brother and I are both stunted, messed with our sleep HARD, saw cinderella and rapunzel as good parenting guides, I could really go on but point is truly abusive. When I first heard the term "gentle parenting" and had it explained to me by, apparently deluded and manipulative people, I thought it was great but just sounded like "just don't be abusive to your kids." Then reels and tt came out and I started approaching an age where people have kids and I'd get some videos of "gentle parenting".....didn't take long to realize: wait this is just coddling and enabling bad behavior, and this is the kind of thing that produces parents exactly like mine (psychopaths). Don't spank, beat, hit your kids. Don't enforce your eating disorder diet on them, don't have kids and then constantly berate them for being a separate person from you or just for acting their age in a harmless way, don't isolate them from peers and friends, don't be a stay at home parent who then does literally nothing and models selfishness and laziness as "parenting".....treat your kid like a human being, but for the love of god please stop enabling behavior you don't want to see repeated in the world around you 10000x worse, because that's what this coddling does.
It’s heartbreaking to hear you had to live through all that! It sounds like you are now dealing with it the best way you can though. Inspiring really! Have a good one
Yes "proper parenting" does establish respect. Unfortunately the type of parenting Bill is advocating for is the opposite of proper parenting and only causes kids to grow up filled with bitterness and resentment. If parents want their kids to respect them then they need to lead by example and communicate with their kids. None of the "do as I say, not as I do" or "because I said so!" bs. Make sure you conduct yourself the way you want your kid to and make sure to communicate why what they did is wrong or harmful and that's why they're being punished. There's a reason why the authoritarian style of parenting went out with the payphone.
Yes "proper parenting" does establish respect. Unfortunately the type of parenting Bill is advocating for is the opposite of proper parenting and only causes kids to grow up filled with bitterness and resentment. If parents want their kids to respect them then they need to lead by example and communicate with their kids. None of the "do as I say, not as I do" or "because I said so!" bs. Make sure you conduct yourself the way you want your kid to and make sure to communicate why what they did is wrong or harmful and that's why they're being punished. There's a reason why the authoritarian style of parenting went out with the payphone.
I once had a mother of one of my recruits come up to me and complain about all the hard stuff I was making her son do. I just looked at her and said "What is is about 'Your son is in the Army' that you do not understand". He was the most untrainable wet noodle I've ever had, and it's his parents fault.
Don’t agree with Bill on a lot but this one is spot on. I have 3 kids, the one solace I take is they will rule the world because no one else kids will know how to act. Best parenting advice I received was mirror in the comments. “Your job as a parent is not to be friends with your kids. But to turn them into adults you would want to be friends with.” Not only are they ruining society as a whole but most of these parents will hate their adult children.
"Our kids are crippled with anxiety because they haven't been properly prepared for a world that doesn't revolve around them." Exactly! Classic Maher. Bill, please do not ever retire.
Kids TODAY? There were a number of my classmates who could barely utter a coherent sentence back in the NINETIES. Coming up on 30 years later and there's just no hope left for most of them!
@@Arclite02 Most adults are stupid. Let alone kids. I have aunts and uncles in their 50s and 60s who know NOTHING. Can't name a branch of government. Don't know we invaded Iraq. Probably couldn't name the president if they had to. People are mind numbingly stupid and just don't care about the world around them.
The biggest change I've noticed in parenting is letting their children run around stores and public places. There have been multiple instances where I'm waiting in line and children are literally running around screaming and tearing up the stores, bumping into people while their oblivious parents are on their phones or just generally not paying attention. I remember my parents leaving the store if I was acting up or would discipline me then and there and that put a stop to my antics.
Yes, and the older generations raised by strict parenting are doing such a good job running the world (lol) and definitely don't have mental issues or emotional problems (you people know literally nothing).
@pixel9548 this style of parenting has existed since the 80s. Psychologists have been pushing the Authoritative style of parenting for decades. Nobody listens. The 4 parenting styles are learned in psychology 101. Just because Bill and a majority of people do next to zero research on any of the parenting literature and recommendations that have existed for years isn't my fault. It's theirs. This idea that we need to return to Authoritarian style parenting completely goes against the research and data that psychologists have been touting for decades.
I was an 80s kid, our moms took us to the bathroom and spanked our ass. I remember one time I was getting spanked by my mom at the same time another girl was getting spanked by hers. LOL
@@dzed5579 Can you point to the part of the video where Bill advocates for a "return to Authoritarian style parenting" as opposed to simply not kowtowing to them over every little thing?
I don't listen to Andrew Tate I don't push Andrew Tate but Bill is completely off base here he should have Andrew on for an interview. Bill hates him because he likes Trump. The veil of Bill Maher has been pulled with his podcast revealing how utterly stupid his takes are.
speak for yourself Not saying I find fault with, or have a specific criticism of, Maher's performance. Saying: speak for yourself. It's an admirable character trait/behavior. So is refraining from offering unsolicited advice. But this isn't "advice". It's an admonition. 😆😂
Don't get me started about how right you are on this one! I burnt out being a child therapist after 17 years of trying to get adults to disciple kids. We're raising a generation of criminals who get whatever they want and could care less about everybody else!
NOT only WE! Just a few minutes watching/listening to Trump opens up so many questions about his parents and their approach to his upbringing. He is definitely a model for what is wrong with today's younger generation. His MAGA followers reflect that same lack of self-discipline, of a failure to reflect on their own actions, and of refusing to be accountable for what they say and do; never mind exploring the consequences of what they think and believe!
I'm 51 and trying to "adult" some slightly younger middle-aged people. They buy into the "obese is beautiful and not your fault" "you can't blame alcoholics for driving drunk" "Type 2 diabetes just runs in the family.......and from a friend who dresses like a trans court jester to express his true self, "I feel like people look at me like I'm a freak, it's not fair. I have the right to look the way I want to. Why do they look at me like that?!"
If your friends with your children, you will still be parenting when they become adults. If you parent children you will be friends when they are adults.
Yesterday was 7 years since my dad died of cancer. I LOVED my dad, but I was also terrified on making him angry or disappointed in me. He didn't even have to say anything to me to make me stop doing something he didn't want me doing. He would just whistle once or give me a piercing look, like Batman, and I would freeze instantly as if I looked into the eyes of Medusa LMAO. R.I.P. Dad. Stay strong all the real traditional fathers trying to raise decent children, especially the ones with sons.
I had a dad like that. I love him, now, lol, but as a kid he was far too overbearing with his anger. It certainly kept me in line, but it also kept me from taking any risks in life because I didn't want to 'disappoint him'. I still remember I was like 25yo or so, and he invited me to fish with him. When I showed up, he noticed an expired tag on my car, and like usual, his temper takes over and he starts getting sh!tty with me about how I'm going to get pulled over, ticketed, insurance will go up, blah blah blah. Finally, for the first time in my life, I stood up to him. I stopped him mid sentence and said "dad, that's easy to get fixed, and if I get pulled over, it's not the end of the world. Now do you want to bicker and bitch at me all day, or do you want to have a relaxing fishing trip? Because I've no problem getting back in my car and leaving". It was like NO ONE had ever said anything like that to him, because he instantly snapped out of it, gave me a look like "you're right", and nodded and said "okay, I'll be in the truck". He's never talked down to me since.
I taught 7th graders for 34 years. I had very high expectations and never lowered the bar for anyone. When a parent complained about the "F" their child received, I told them I wanted to be fair and would let them decide. I would show them the intelligently researched, well written "A" expository and their child's one paragraph, incomprehensive, "written on the fly", ripped, no last name, effortless paper. It was amazing how the student's work ethic improved in less than 24 hours. We also read the classics, Edgar Allen Poe, Jack London and more. I had high state test scores without teaching the test. This wasn't an affluent suburb. It was an economically, intellectually and culturally diverse Chicago public school with at least 34 students per classroom.
Teacher, 23 years. Took early retirement. I used to love teaching- but between the hover parents and their entitled spawn from hell PLUS weak administrators- teachers don’t have a chance. One 5th grade boy wiped out several computers and printers throwing a tantrum since he lost at Scrabble. This same kid clocked a girl at the locker next to him just because. Nothing happened since he had an “attachment disorder.” This same student goes out with his dad to nice restaurant with very high end outdoor plantings. Kid gets wrong dessert, throws fit, destroys floral display. Dad does nothing. Waiter tells kid to clean it up, since dad won’t. Dad complains that employee is cruel to son. Owner 86’s kid and dad forever. Consequences in the real world kids. People need to take parenting classes before they have kids. Being their friend ALWAYS backfires. You are the ADULT in the room. Act like it.
@@cf3451 My own evaluation of a teacher's success is if the student graduates with a curiosity that can never be quelled. Daniel Boorstin wrote a trilogy of "Discoverers", "Creators", and "Seekers", all of which are fantastic. A desire to learn is a quality that works in retirement, too. Martin Gardner puzzles from Scientific American are stimulating...for me, but I'm an atheist who prefers science to some Mesopotamian sheepherders' hallucinations.
Xennial here, I got my first non-family job at 16, my father would have laughed his head off if I asked him to come to an interview with me, I also never would have thought of doing that. That's just bizarre.
Boomer here. 4 kids. It’s not so hard to be good parent. Zero tolerance for bad behavior- I took my kids to their room, no toys, for a 10 min time out. No yelling. No hitting. Kids hate to be by themselves when everyone else is together. Do that a few times and they will listen to you and give you little grief. No negotiations over bad behavior. It’s my way or the highway. The last things kids need is choice. They need to be told. They are kids. They don’t know any better. It’s not rocket science
There’s nothing wrong humanizing interactions with your children, respecting their intelligence and treating them with dignity- but you can’t let them do whatever they want. Their brains aren’t developed and they have no perspective. That’s called lord of the flies. It’s my job to keep my kids safe and put my kids in scenarios where they can learn, fail a lot, and build their self worth through experiences like respect, being patient, earning things and disagreeing with people you have to deal with, so one day they can take care of themselves.
Get this. Years ago, I was at a library computer. A father brought his son, who I think was between 8-10, and the boy was playing a video game. The boy was loud enough in his excitement to annoy everyone around them. It took ten minutes since I arrived until a woman had enough and said "shhh!" That's when the boy calmed down. The woman then went to the father complaining of the noise his son was making. He responded saying "He's just a kid." I don't know what she responded with, but he responded back by saying "Fuck off! Fuck off!" in front of her and for the library to hear. Nice job, dad! Swearing in front of your kid!
@JonnyTainment What’s wrong with swearing in front of your kids? They will lean those words eventually, you might as well teach it to them early on in life. There’s things that are much worse than swearing in front of your kids.
@@giantsr1eva It's not the fact that the dad was swearing that should trigger you, it's the fact that he even said "he's just a kid" when other people called him out on how uneducated his kid is.
@@alrune8 Bill Maher told me to not get triggered by words and to believe in free speech. I never said that I agreed with his actions, I am saying that we shouldn’t be triggered by swear words and that there are worse things that can happen then swearing in front of your kids.
It is more about how you interact and show respect in a situation. If the best words you can use in a situation are swear words, first, you aren't very bright. Second, you are showing your child that you are not mature and setting a poor example. Third, other parents don't need to have their children exposed to immaturity and stupidity.
Ugh, Im a seasoned nurse, combat veteran, Former USDA Forest Service Firefighter, EMT, Construction worker and before all that I was High School kid in the 90s. Started HS when the participation trophy thing started. Weirdest thing I have ever seen was watching one of my nieces friends come in close to dead last in a gymnastic meet she neither prepared for nor gave a shit about and got a trophy that looked like the one the first place participant received. I told my brother that was setting them up for mediocracy. To which my sister in law's friend and mother of the girl snapped at me and asked what she should have received? An insult? I said no, she should have received nothing. a T-shirt maybe, for being in the competition, but not a fuckin trophy. Trophies are for the winners, those who worked the hardest. I said if you give kids a trophy for everything, they're under the impression they rock at everything and your kid doesn't. Gymnastics isn't her game. she's terrible at it and she doesn't care. Just to be clear, at her age at the time, the other girls had been in gymnastics for 6-7 years and they were at least decent at it. Where she was terrible. I felt a little embarrassed for her. I couldn't in good conscience say "You were amazing" or even "good job." She went out there, bored as hell looking and made next to zero effort to prepare and it showed. Which get's me to my history. I always gave it my all in sports. Baseball mainly, and I came home with torn off finger nails from being a catcher and getting hit in the hands while batting and bruises everywhere and skinned knees and ever other injury you can imagine. And that was just from practice! After game day I was in much rougher shape. Because game day is when you really go the extra mile. My Dad didn't tell me how awesome I played when I had a shitty game. He told me I didn't look like myself out there today. And asked me why. Truth was, I was preoccupied. Girlfriend, or a party I was looking forward to or something. He said while on the field, be there, or sit the game out. Don't let your team down like that. And I took that with me everywhere after he said that. To the Marines, to the Forestry service, to EMT and Nursing field I now work in. I'm 46, and I believe my generation was the last of hard ass parenting. I got spanked when I was little. When I was grounded I was actually GROUNDED! I was going nowhere. NOWHERE! And God help me if I dared try. When I was fighting in High School frequently, one day I had to come home and fight the old man. He had had enough of my BS. I was in a fight at least once a week and when I cam home, I fought my last fight while still in school. He KICKED MY ASS! And I deserved every punch he threw. EVERY SINGLE ONE! I wasn't injured, just knocked down to size, FINALLY! And I finally woke the HELL up as a result of it. My DAD didn't have to go corporal punishment with my other siblings after the age of spankings had stopped. With me, he had to take it to the next level and it worked. In the Marines I of course got in fights. It's just how things were in the 90s-early 2000s. Now I hear it's a different place. But as a nurse now, having to train 21-22 year old RNs who just left one of those sorry ass excuses for a University, I have the most narcissistic, self absorbed, lazy, distracted, yet anxious and insecure young person standing before me who honestly thinks they know it all already. They call in sick constantly, they can't be away from their phone for longer than 2-3 minutes. I had one girl forget her phone at home one morning and said she was going to run home and get it. I said she couldn't, she needed to stay. She cried. SHE FUCKING CRIED! Because her best friend forever, her iphone, wasn't with her. She went home sick! About an hour into her shift she said she wasn't feeling good and went home. She probably wasn't feeling good, she was in severe withdrawal from not having her brain numbing device to stare at. We are fucked! We are FUCKED! This next crop of 20 somethings entering the nursing field do not and never will give a fuck about you if you're their patient. I am 100% certain, if I get old, I will will be a neglected patient or resident. Nobody wants to go against HR. So the shitty employee is going to get away with it. WE ARE FUCKED!
I work in the Dietary Department of my local hospital and my coworkers and I often have to ask the nurses to pick up trays from patient rooms. When we do, they get snippy and complain about how they couldn't sit on their lazy butts and goof around on their phones during a slow spot in their day.
Unfortunately phone addiction is everywhere- but in the healthcare profession it’s especially bad- in elder care settings where the patients are the most vulnerable 😢
Modern parenting is all about "protecting your child's confidence and self-esteem." The problem is, these aren't things anyone is born with. They're things that are learned. Confidence comes from success, from knowing you can repeat that success. Kids today aren't being taught to be confident, they're being groomed to be arrogant. Instead of self-esteem, they're being trained to be narcissistic. Believe it or not, I know a few young people (17-23) who have work ethics, who do believe in meritocracy and, yes, they do have cell phones but they don't choose it over their jobs.
The stat at 3:00 was misrepresented to be greatly exaggerated. It's not 1 in 5 graduates bring a parent to an interview, it's 1 in 5 interviewers had seen a applicant bring a parent. No need to exaggerate like that, in my opinion; it's striking that that many interviewers have witnessed a parent coming along.
@@marshafick4006Not the same thing at all. Interviewers could see hundreds of graduates. If 100 interviewers see 100 graduates each (so ten thousand graduates in total), and 19 percent of them have reported seeing an graduates bring a parent, that could just mean 19 out of 10 thousand graduates brought a parent - 0.19%
As a recovering academic, I can say very little of the "anxiety" of college students is due to being challenged by ideas they don't like. Most of it is from toxic dorm social interactions and the fact that no one ever didn't give them an A or a trophy. The professor-cancelling is almost entirely a way to get back at the first authorities who told them "No," "You're not perfect," and "You need to improve your work--here's a grade less than an A." And they are NOT equipped to do the hard work, spend time, and generally learn things by revising their work and ideas. You know. Get educated.
Yeah, but it's not all or nothing. We don't want men to be completely psychotically convinced that they're inherently right about everything, and that means we want them to care at least a little about what the social consensus is. And that means that the social consensus can't be something idiotic, because then the only men who aren't idiots will be the one who are psychopaths.
@@Baeraad Psychobabble. Most of the time the first abuse(s) a child endures come from Mommy Dearest. There's nothing more "psychotic" than an Oprah and Instagram addled mom tossing junior his first iPhone at nine years old.
@@Baeraad Nobody is saying it's all or nothing. Basically nothing on this earth is "all or nothing". This is the same class of observation that "Not all X are Y". Yes, we know. That's how pretty much everything works. Also, the social consensus is frequently idiotic, because it's made up of the general public (or worse: the internet), who is usually at best completely misinformed on any given topic, if they've paid it any attention at all. Finally, disagreeing with what Reddit says doesn't make one a psychopath. Psychopaths may not care either, but you've got your cause and effect backwards.
I also remember a teacher I had in grade school that was extremely unbalanced. She was incredibly petty and not just with me, but many boys, verbally abusive and would even lie about our apparent misbehavior. I didn’t know it at the time, but several parents including my own and the school board were working on retiring her early. Why did I not know that? Because I was a kid and my father and mother told me that she was a teacher and elder and I would respect her no matter what. And even if I felt I was in the right, life would be full of difficult situation where I had to be subordinate to people that were difficult and I needed to learn how to succeed no matter what. It was an invaluable lesson I was so fortunate to learn as a child. No excuses, persevere.
I agree with one exception... When a kid asks 'Why?' Maybe sometimes you should have a reasonable answer besides; "Because I said so..." Simply put, you'll get more cooperation from the smart kids if you don't justify every rule the same way. (Yeah being a parent can be difficult!)
When I was in junior high school, some teachers had the tendency to answer a lot of questions with “it’s inappropriate“, and I still have an issue with that word today. If that was truly the case, I wouldn’t have minded, but a little more detail would’ve been nice! Obviously parenting is not the same thing, and I do agree that a parent doesn’t always need to justify their decisions to a child, especially if the child is too young to fully understand. Nonetheless, I feel that giving the child actual information - rather than acting dismissive on principle - will not only be healthier, but make the understanding process easier.
Just because an answer is reasonable doesn't mean it's going to be understood by a 5 year old, not even the smart ones. Why broccoli instead of ice cream? Is it reasonable? Of course it is. Is your answer going to be understood? Of course not. If they don't understand, it's counterproductive and only leads to further protesting, arguing and drama. And kids catch on pretty quick that they can "why" you into going their way.
Agreed. It will teach them to be better thinkers if they understand why things have to be the way they are. Only exception to explaining yourself would be in case of emergency or when urgent action is needed.
Sometimes, my son is very smart for his age im talking goes to 2nd and 3rd grade classes in kindergarten and when he asks for a why sometimes the best answer is because I said so because your kid does need to respect your authority and not question it especially with safety
@@noli.me.tangere I would personally give my child ice cream over broccoli any day. I would be a hypocrite if I made them do that, I don’t even like vegetables as an adult.
This was great. I grew up in the 90's and it you told me Maher would run lines like this some day I would not believe you. Nobody would. But here we are. So amazing.
This also the difference between single parent house holds led by men as opposed to led by women. Mothers tend to tell their sons that they are a team, that it’s “mommy and you against the world.” But single fathers tell their kids, “we are not a team. It’s my responsibility for you to grow up and be able to function without me.”
@@nickbarcheck1019 I'm over 50 and never had children too, I have a female sister and cousins older than me, who also don't have children by choice... A lot of us older people also choose not to have children, its not just the younger generations. I'm perfectly fine to end my bloodline with me, rather than having to raise children in poverty like I was raised just to be a corporate wage/tax slave all their lives... My mother regretted having children has well just to see them suffer and struggle like she had to, but she was young and stupid and didn't knew better at the time. it's not worth perpetuating our species just to see the majority suffer just to survive in an uncaring world so that the elites can have slaves.
I was not raised by a father, and the military became my daddy. I am fortunate to be the stay at home parent. I will set the example that my two young sons need to succeed in life. No screens, healthy diet, and treating people with respect, no matter their background. I will not be heavy-handed like the world was to me and believe you me, I will raise two magnificent young men who will love their family, each other, and their community.
I would not agree with an absolute NO on screen-type implements; but I would put a limit on the amount of time a child spends with a screened-implement! As a parent, we all need to discern the balance between discipline, encouragement, and just plain good manners. I am reminded of a retired school teacher who met with other retired teachers monthly at a restaurant. As each teacher entered the restaurant, she held out her open purse into which each out her cell phone, which stayed in that purse until they were preparing to go home! THAT remains a memorable lesson in what is truly important for that occasion.
I never had a Dad. You could say I was raise by TV. You got to give your kids balance, no screens during dinner, and not until they finish their homework. Some unhealthy food, but mostly healthy food. I was self-discipline. I also liked getting my school work done first so I could watch all the TV and play all the video I wanted. My mom didn't make me do anything, but that's because my grades were constantly A's and B's, and I naturally respected her authority, even the handful of times I didn't agree with her. Anyways, definitely set boundaries and rules with kids, but try to explain to them why if you can, and if they don't like it, oh welp, you're their parent, not their equal, and they need to be thought some matters and discipline at minimum. A healthy middle ground of parenting, strict but not to an astronomical level. It's best to just binge watch Super Nanny, and copy paste. British nannies are the best parents literally.
@@tytn9978yeah, no screen time is not a good idea, because the kid grows up and moves out of the house and doesn't know how to discipline their time with TV, video games and their social life they need to maintain.
Yeah I think children should be allowed to use the Internet the problem comes in when they start using Facebook X etc and thinking those people they never met are there friends keep your kid away social media they can have fun watching TH-cam videos and watching movies on Tubi or playing Games stuff like that instead
I’m so glad I had the father I had growing up. My husband is a traditional dad and my sons are very good men because of him. He has sayings- “if you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late”; “nothing good ever happens after midnight”; “don’t ever do anything illegal, immoral or unethical”. He was never their friend, always their father and they have a wonderful relationship with him. Btw, I’m a traditional mom. I’d go into my sons room every day to have a look around, see what’s going on in their reptilian brains. I got flack from not only my kids but other parents who tried to tell me about “privacy”. I told them “ this is my house and my husbands. Not theirs. When they start paying the mortgage, I’ll think about privacy.” More parents need to parent.
At shows like this they train audiences how and when to laugh when a joke (whether funny or not) is made. They run you through two takes of that before they let the audience in the studio. This is why many times it’ll seem over the top
Kids need to remember that. It's like the scene from Return of the Jedi where Darth Vader says to the Imperial officer "The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"
Indeed, I was lucky to have a traditional dad. Next year I will be 50 years old, and I know that most of the good things that happened in my life (especially my happy marriage!) are the result of me applying the lessons learnt from him. He died three weeks ago, at 74, but he will forever remain in my heart, and in the hearts of my two younger brothers. RIP, Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss. Three weeks is quite recent. May your Father's Soul be at Peace. I have now lost both Parents, exceptional people. My heart aches for them each and every day. 🖤
As a grandparent saying this to other grandparents....BACK OFF and let your kids be adults and raise their own kids. If the kids come and ask you a question "can I go/do etc." defer them to their parents. "You need to ask your Dad/Mom, they're right there". AND don't critique/contradict them about their answer in front of the kids. This is a considerable part of the problem.
As a new dad, I'm trying to raise intelligent kids who can do things on their own. But there will always be that fear of whether you're either smothering them too much or not loving them enough.
These are fears only a truly conscientious and dedicated father will have. It's a fine line to thread. Too much strictness and you may weaken their spirit while with too much laxity they may grow up weak and entitled. All in all I think your children are lucky. The fact that you're even thinking of this stuff is a good sign
I respect your self-awareness. Also, don't be afraid to apologize and be humble when necessary. I wish my father had learned that. To an extent, I had to parent myself.
Let them explore their own abilities, whether they succeed or fail. If they fail, do not rescue them immediately as it diminishes their innate problem-solving ability, which does lead to success. If they ask, of course, share your own solutions and why they worked for you. Asking for advice is part of keeping curiosity alive which is admirable.
I agree. Parents should go back to putting their kids in their place. Even a friend of mine posted a meme that said: "I'd rather go to jail for spanking my kids than visit them in jail because I didn't!"
Yes! The pendulum is swinging back and my genx raised by silent generation parenting skills are coming back in style. “Because I said so” is my favorite line
Then don't be surprised if your kids grow up feeling a strong sense of resentment and bitterness towards you. "Because I said so" is nothing other than lazy parenting which gives parents an excuse to not have to teach their kids lessons or have the difficult conversations and explain things to them they don't understand. You want your kids to respect you and learn then openly communicate with them and lead by example. Sorry for the harsh criticism but it needs to be said. Bill is way off base here and there's a reason why the parenting practices he's advocating for are a thing of the past.
I would have thought that having reasons for your decisions / actions and articulating them to the child might just possibly raise an adult that is rational rather than in thrall to emotive and self indulgent messages...but hey, you do you...
Obesity, the cruelest form of child neglect, is an unambiguous sign of a lack of adults parenting. These kids are experiencing catastrophic health issues by 12 years old and doctors suggest they won’t live past 55 years. All completely avoidable.
If you cannot convey or teach social skills and mannerisms- do not become a parent. It’s a baby that’s going to become an adult just like you did. They’re not accessories for your social status. They are people!
The same people who have those claims fight to force mothers(fathers can’t be physically forced) into becoming parents at all costs. We pressure them about their biological purpose, their ticking clock and when the guilt tripping doesn’t work proactively we just wait for them to be impregnated without signing up for it and we call them murderers if they say thanks no thanks i’m not ready.
My daughter is 27. She graduated from Towson University with a BA in psychology and now works as a behavioral therapist with autistic children. When she was between 3 and 7, her favorite restaurant was the Old Country Buffet. They had a rule that children under 10 were supposed to be accompanied to the buffet by a parent. We observed this rule. Most did not. My then toddler, seeing other children her age pelting pell mell all over the place, several times asked me whether those poor children had parents who cared about them.
At all-u-can-eat CiCi's pizza I saw an obese 13 year old grabbing slices of pizza with his filthy hands, smelling slices, then putting them back...so we can all taste his fecal covered fingers. His parents were doing the same thing.🤮🤮🤮 Never going to CiCis again!!!!
@@xhagast Oh, no, my friend. I told her that they were sitting right there, and cared about their kids very much, but were taking advantage of the fact that someone else would have to clean up any mess. I said I was sure those children were well behaved at home, but here they allowed their children to behave as though they were on a playground. My four (4) year old called that rude and inconsiderate. The next year, in kindergarten, she strongly gravitated to the few well-behaved children. She's still friends with some of them.
My Dad was a big fan of this show and used to play clips for me all the time. He passed two years ago, but I guarantee we would have a big old laugh at this episode! Thanks Bill for making us bond and laugh with your brilliant, sharp and witty commentary.
@@nickbarcheck1019 Being a con artist is not the same as being a man. And I laugh at any man who "follows" him. I find it hilarious men don't see the problem with "following" another man. I would never do such a thing. Being a loner has its advantages.
I lived in Shanghai China for 2 years. Never once saw an obese or misbehaving child. The very first thing Chinese kids are taught by their parents, schools and society is to respect their elders and other people. Parents are strict and demanding. They punish children by making them study and work. They don’t allow their kids to go wherever they want or dress in whatever they want. In America, we call it “authoritarian parenting”, but in China they view it as the path to achievement and success. That’s why even Chinese-American students are the country’s top performers.
Yeah, but that creates robots and machines that blindly obey authority, because that's exactly what the chinese government wants. That's not better than the other extreme.
Grew up in the era of kids should be seen (very briefly) and not heard. Manners, discipline, and respect. I’m old and am grateful for the parents I had
My adult kids are estranged and I paid for their colleges in America and they are debt free. I was a gentle parent I love them but no peace for me on this earth I feel so lost no hope no love no Father’s Day greetings
When I was growing up, whenever I got mad at my dad for making me doing something or not letting me do something, he would always say "it's not my job to be your friend, it's my job to be your dad" and at the time that made me mad... but as an adult I think back to that as a sign of what a good father he was and I'll try to raise my kids with the same mindset.
Sounds like you had a pretty good dad. I tell that to my students all the time (It's my job to be your teacher, not your friend. I am here to help you have a better future, not make you feel good.) A lot of students have weak parents, and I see the consequences of it in the classroom. Students become scared of taking chances and making mistakes, so I have to be a counterbalance to those parents, and set the example of what the real world will be like. My job would be a hell of a lot easier if parents actually parented.
@@HJRO your job is to Teach kids, not make them feel overwhelmed and frustrated.
@@HJRO Sounds like the Kind of teacher that would not actually explain to a Student how to solve the math equation, but instead just give students more and more of those for Homework. As if that would do the Trick.
I had a teacher like that once. I failed the test so tremendously, that my former math teacher involved the principal, because I should have passed excellently.
So they let me Repeat the test. I failed again. Saying: he never taught me anything. He answered my questions with "I don't answer STUPID questions".
I got another repetition.
My mom called up my brother's friend who was good at math back at school. He answered my question. It was a 5 Minute Phone call, before he was off to work. And I got a b-. I Cry when I Think about what I could have gotten if he was my teacher for those months leading up to the test.
I had plenty of teachers like that. I got an endless row of a+ at their classes. But because I just knew, not because they taught me. I saw others fail miserably and those teachers telling them "I cannot explain that, you just have to understand it".
There are far too many inadequate teachers pretending to teach - while only sorting out.
@@HJRO If you are a teacher, my own evaluation of a teacher's success is if the student graduates with a curiosity that can never be quelled. Daniel Boorstin wrote a trilogy of "Discoverers", "Creators", and "Seekers", all of which are fantastic.
And it probably absolutely destroyed him to have to say that but he knew being a good father wasn't about how he felt.
Best New Rule yet. Erma Bombeck once said, Raise your children so someone else can stand to be around them.
That’s essentially what Jordan Peterson says.
Leaving parents none the wiser about how to go about doing this
@@dag681 Jordan Peterson has an answer to that, too. Don't let you kids do things, that make you not like them. It will make other people not like them, too. So if your kid does something, that makes you feel uncomfortable, correct it.
@@byron4545 Inexact answer by JP. A father may have to overlook something they do not like in a child. Some fathers are irritated to easily. Others try to control to control behavior based on some arbitrary ideas. Ive raised several kids, two of my own. All have become outstanding in thier lives, prospreous and good citizens.
@@dag681 There's a difference between not liking something and finding that thing annoying. JP only alludes to things that society will teach them in a much harsher manner if the parents don't correct it.
"The job of parents is to teach their kids to live without parents."
exactly lol but instead now it seems like most people raise their kids to believe that they're "special" and nothing should ever offend them...... like hey kids, no offense, but the simple truth is 99.9% of you are literally *NOT* special in any way whatsoever, the world owes you *nothing*, and it's up to *YOU* to find your own way, find your own happiness, and find your own comfort in this life, it's not up to the rest of society to make sure you're coddled to the point where people don't have to worry about these things themselves as they grow
Yep! Not the government schools.
“You don’t raise your kid to be a good kid. You raise your kid to be a good adult.”
@@thomasbenner9621 Yup, blame the schools and its teachers. If you had a clue, it goes back to Laura Bush and "no child left behind"; how America traded metrics for responsibility. Keep telling more erroneous lies.
@@ryanstephens1892 Not as if they're mutually exclusive. LOL One's kids can be both, good kids and good adults. The practice in childhood helps.
I was in a hobby store playing a tabletop game and some kid came over and started picking up the terrain off our board. I gently but firmly took it off him and said "That is part of our game, you can't touch it". A minute later the kid's dad came storming over to me and started screaming at me in front of the whole store about how I'd "snapped at his kid and made him cry". I was flabbergasted and just tried to de-escalate the situation as much as possible, but afterwards I realised the dude's kid has probably never heard the word "no" in his life.
I frequent hobby stores, and if I was in there with you dad would have had a bigger problem than you on his hands. :D
Kudos to you! ☺For giving that child at least that ONE chance to grow up properly. Doesn't look like the dad can. He must be terrified of his master. I mean, his kid.
Yeah my buddy and I are trying to break his 4yo nephew of this exact habit right now. Anytime you discipline the kid, the kid just absolutely melts down into a puddle of tears and tantrums and it's like "kid, you're being a brat, there's no reason to cry over, just DONT DO it again, that's all. Doesn't mean we don't like you or something? lol
His "nonbinary father" most likely
I told a kid at the park to stop hitting other kids. The dad came over and tried to fight me over it. Like I wonder where junior learned it
"Our kids are crippled with anxiety because they haven't been properly prepared for a world that doesn't revolve around them."
In a nutshell, yes.
I am an atheist. I don't believe in the existence of God. There is insufficient evidence or rational justification to support the belief in any gods or supernatural entities. I rely on reason, logic, and empirical evidence to form my worldview and do not find compelling evidence or arguments to support the existence of god.
@@snehashispanda4808ok, so and
Maybe. Maybe it's social media. Who knows? Bill provides no proof. I absolutely agree that moddycoddling children and bargaining with them is detrimental to both parties - and that children need the security of confident parents. Nonetheless, Bill can represent the voice of reason very well given the limitations of the form. Funny guy!
My brother was super pampered and allowed absolutely everything. And Today he doesn't consider "not beeing on drugs" his biggest success. Instead he is a super successful lawer.
The Cousins, that had parents beeing strict, are successes in your book: they are not in drugs. Yeah That's it.
Heck. Even I am not on drugs. And I was raped as a child and am Now completely unable to Take Care of myself. Maybe...if men like you.. who consider themselves successful for not beeing on drugs...would have kept their hands to themselves more ....there would be fewer people like me with ptsd.
It's worth a thought.
@@snehashispanda4808 the absence of evidence doesn't mean evidence of the absence of God.
My pops never gave any big speeches, he wasn’t a self proclaimed “alpha male.” He just went to work, stayed faithful to mom, and fixed stuff when it broke. He set the example, didn’t have to say much. I will love and cherish him forever on account of these traits and I saw what a lack of fathers have done to some of my peers. If God smiles upon me and gives me just one child, I pray I can be half as good as my father.
Well said.
Then you’re the exact kind of person that needs to be a father, and I pray you get your wish one day 🙏🏻♥️
💪 do it
I'm 66 years old now and when I was a kid of course I got away with a lot of stuff. The reason for this is because my parents were busy working. I started working at 13 like most kids of my generation with a paper route. When I was 18 I went into the Navy and then devoted my life to becoming a mechanic. My point is my parents were tough and demanded that my sister and I become self sefishent . Pardon my spelling. Bill is write . Kids these days don't know a damn thing about anything. Something needs to change. And it will. When I'm long dead and gone.
Enjoyed every single word. God bless you.
My father grew up during the depression, the son of Italian immigrants. He took care of things at home at the age of 12 when his father had to go work in the coal mines in Pennsylvania. He had a lot of setbacks but became an engineer and provided a beautiful home for his family. He never lied, cheated or took anything. And he didn’t try to control his adult children. I never once considered disrespecting him.
I am the proud father of a Department of the Navy official. The summer before his last year of college, he went to ROTC Summer Camp and my ex-wife and I were competing to help him with his luggage, when he stopped us and exclaimed, “I’m planning to become a leader of men, and my parents don’t believe I can handle my own luggage.” We backed off and he turned out well.
You did good, my dude! 🤙🏻
That is the most ROTC thing I’ve ever heard someone say.
I believe your story but does he really use language that corny?
@@michaeldoliveira720How’s that corny from a frustrated ROTC watching his parents compete for his affection? Jesus, are you that out of touch with reality that someone’s anecdotal experience makes them sound “corny”?
It’s really too bad that the guy defending your right to post dumb comments is getting ridiculed by some random person on the internet for sounding too “corny”.
Get a grip bud.
@@benwilson6559 first off, I asked if he used that language. I never said he did. Second, the experience doesn't make them corny. The language is what's corny here.
I agree with the Trad Dad. My late husband was teaching our boys to be honest or could not help them. Boundaries were set. Always taught them to respect women. They are confident adults. I am a proud Mom.
Can I please join your family? My Disneyland mom fiancé has raised kids who make our lives a living hell. 5:23
Teaching your kids to love themselves and others has nothing to do worth tradition,its really about good parenting and most of you are apparently bad at it.its you, not them.
So you’re single now?
So you taught you’re kids to be simp white knights.
Great.
I am an old (retired) dad of two small boys. I live in an "enlightened" community, dominated by people pretty much as Bill described today's parents. My wife and I are moderately strict at home and outside. People often look at us like we are some kind of monsters for disciplining our boys, but the boys are starting to come around. On his final 1st grade report card of the year, my older son's teacher wrote: "I will really miss him next year. His smile is infectious; he is a kind and joyful child. He typically works hard on class assignments. He often says, “Well, I did my best,” and I know it is true. He seems to have matured a good deal this year, too."
Thanks, Bill, for helping to restore my confidence that we are on the right track.
Bill, it's clear you don't like Trump, but pause and ask yourself if liberals are not the progenitor of the various social catastrophic issues facing us today.
I'm glad you are rising in opposition to this, but consider whether it may be just too late.
This country,indeed the West, is in a steady and irreversible decline toward barbrism.
Did you notice that the House, with bipartisan support, voted to automatically register boys 18-28 for the draft?
@@danlambert1061 And the answer is Trump???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
@@danlambert1061 Liberalism makes people too sensitive, that is not catastrophic. Global Warming denial, vaccine denial, no gun laws, forcing women with ectopic pregnancies to die for the team, that is catastrophic. And that is the other side and their insanity. Both are nuts, but one is far more harmful.
@@pixel9548 No, of course not...
@@danlambert1061Satan doesn't love Trump either...he is too wicked and psycho...
Proud trad dad here. I couldn't agree more with what was said here. Also, I'd like to add, stop plunking an iPad in front of your kid when you go out to dinner. Kids need to learn how to socialize, talk to a server, say please and thank you to a stranger, and how to behave in public without being entertained. The first couple of times it might be hard but that's the job.
Calling yourself a “Trad Dad” is like calling yourself an “Alpha”. I’m not sure what is worse.
Couldn't agree more. It's even worse when parents let their kids play games or watch 5V at the table in restaurants.
Not only do they not learn how to socialise but everyone else in the restaurant has to listen to the awful tinny noise and no one dares say anything about it.
@@0xTomasMartinyour opinion
"When lightening struck protein powder.." HILARIOUS!
I’m not a fan of Tate , but I can tell you he would take that as a big compliment.
Because he's simply stupid @@Turok279
My neighbor recently complained about the tall privacy fence my wife had installed between our yards. I informed him that we didn't want to spend the $6k on the fence but were forced into it because his adopted daughter (who was not a brat when they adopted her years ago) might get her hand bit by our dog because she wouldn't stop sticking her hand through the fence, and we were afraid of the liability. She'd been told repeatedly by her father not to stick her hand through the fence. In addition, we were finding food thrown into our yard. I further informed him that he wasn't doing the kid (or the world) any favors letting her do whatever the f*** she wanted (the kid ignores ANY direction given by her father) because some day she'd be an adult and she wasn't going to be able to cope with a world with rules and behavioral norms regarding authority. That went over like a turd in a punchbowl. I guess we are not even not even friendly anymore (we were never what I'd consider friends). Luckily the privacy fence is 6' tall. I stand by what I said, though... his right to raise his child anyway he wants ends at my propery line. Children need discipline and boundaries plus respect for authority.
same for crappy adult neighbors
I am an elementary school teacher. A few years ago a group of boys taped together several sticks into one long stick and hid it on the playground. When they were at recess they stuck the stick through the fence and jabbed at the dog next door. This went on for a couple of weeks. The dog developed a nervous condition and got the mange. When the boys were caught their parents just laughed and laughed. They never got in trouble.
@@direwolf6234 were you raised the way this adopted child is?
“Say it again, Say it again, Say it again”
@@kcoffman3210their parents laughed? I'm so disgusted right now that I can't see straight.
I taught school for 25 years. There were two types of parents. Parent A: What did my kid do? and Parent B: What did you do to make my kid do that? Bill is right...We need a lot more of Parent A
I am parent A.
When I got whipped in school, I got whipped at home no questions asked.
We had consequences for our actions.
I was a university professor and got to see the end product of said parenting. I honestly wonder how some of them will survive and get through life
I got a real ass whooping when I got home if I got one at school. The most terrifying thing to a kid should be "don't make me tell your father". It was to me.
@@Lemmon714_ Kids who get hit hate their parents. Kids who hate their parents commit crimes.
This second parent is becoming more and more common.
I was raised in Nigeria. Safe to say we don't have this problem here. Disobeying him wasn't even on the table. Talking back to him was anathema (until I became an adult anyway). He would literally beat the piss out of you if you so much as think of disobeying him. However, he bought us lots of stuff, always paid the bills, and was friendly. Never took a bribe, worked hard at his job at a university. He was a man I loved dearly but feared greatly, and that kept me sane. I don't fear him anymore, being grown and all (late twenties). We laugh a lot and I always seek his counsel. I love my dad.
Can’t we find a decent middle ground between helicopter parenting and “I love him, but he beat the piss out of me”
@@GregorBarclay Certainly. I wasn't trying to say he beat me a lot, though. My dad didn't flog me up to 20 times in my life. In Africa, that's impressive. I do think some things deserve that kind of a flogging. I'm not a westerner after all, and I don't understand why y'all don't flog your kids. On one such occasion, I and my brother broke the glass windows in my house playing soccer. My dad had let us off previously with a warning. This time however ... My dad didn't "spank" us. He flogged us with a hose 😂. We never did it again.
Funny enough, my dad was the nice one. My mum on the other hand... 😂 Love her so much.
At least he bought you lots of stuff. My dad would not buy us anything. He would send me to the store to buy him a soda or orange juice bottle but he would not buy me one.
A-gor: Simply beautiful.
3:00 - I was just having this conversation last week that you don’t hear “the world doesn’t revolve around you” as much anymore. Kudos to Bill on this one for bringing that back.
As a high school teacher I can attest to this. Not only are they anxious, they are angry and don’t know how to deal with all the emotions that have been repressed by gentle parents. They have no coping skills.
Your students survived covid, a time when many, many died. Perhaps you have forgotten?
@@helenbodel3974C’mon dude. For most people Covid was just sitting in your room for a few weeks. Kids are NOT traumatized by this. No the real problem is that the school system and many parents took away any sort of discipline and consequences for their actions. I’m a high school teacher and I can tell you it’s bad. Kids will literally try and turn things in a semester late and be baffled as to why a teacher won’t accept it all the while hardly showing up to class.
Oof. I'm glad I graduated from high school in 2013 and I am so grateful that I was raised by parents who were strict but fair. In my opinion parenting needs to be a good balance of strictness (structure, discipline, punishment, boundaries, and so forth) with fairness (listening, empathy, understanding, compassion, etc.) When I was in high school I was a rather shy, reserved and quiet student; but I was also polite, helpful and had high levels of respect for the faculty and administrative staff. Of course it started in elementary school and continued through middle school and high school. Plus I was (and still am) a bit of a bookworm as I feel at my happiest in a library.
How do you account for the stress and anxiety of young adults now who weren’t raised with “gentle parenting”?
@@michellereed3272 He never said that gentle parenting was the ONLY cause. Plus even parents who aren’t technically “gentle parenting” are still kowtowing to their kids far more than any previous generation or are just letting phones raise their kids, which effectively is a kind of non-parenting like gentle parenting.
I can’t imagine having brought one of my parents to a job interview. That has to be the most shocking statistic he quoted.
Not shocking, I've seen that percentage myself in my interviews, but Bill needs to rephrase it. Kids don't "bring" their parents. The parents insist on coming with.
@@noli.me.tangereSociety would be so much better if people stopped having kids. There's more than enough humans in the world.
I don't believe it.
The only time my parents came to a job interview with me was because I was too young to drive.
Yeah, us Gen Xers started working young.LOL
@@noli.me.tangere
Exactly, the parents are insisting that they join their kids with job interviews. The kids just want their freedom but the republicans are too obsessed with safety.
As a teacher, I (at least think) I can tell, when a kid is not used to hearing 'no'. They will give you that look, that says: What just happened?
They seem to have this attitude that goes: I made/did it, so it has to be good. The idea, that your first draft will probably not be the best possible version of any piece of work, is alien to them.
They also keep asking for the same thing over and over when you say no. I tell them all they are doing is irritating me and the answer was given. They get it pretty fast. Everyone wants to blame teachers for children’s poor behavior. Put the blame where it lies. - with parents who drop their children off at school and expect schools to rear them. I just retired this year (30 years HS math). I will miss my students something awful. I could write a novel on what I won’t miss, my students won’t be a chapter in that book.
Yes or they say "but I've put my hand up" expecting me to answer their 15 millionth question...
I've been so tempted to put the dictionary definition of "no" on the wall somewhere, just so I can point to something and not waste any more words on it 😅
A good friend of mine is just like this. Him and his wife are ruled by their 7 year old, they have no control. They will tell him "no" several times, he'll ignore them, and then they'll turn to me and start talking as if nothing is going on. In my mind I'm thinking, "Do you notice he didn't listen to a word you said, are you going to do anything about it?" This goes on all day. I truly feel sorry for his teachers.
counting parent... child knows all threats about anything is just words and nothing will happen
If that man decides to put his foot down, the woman will lose her shit. The first mistake we made as a society was empowering women
And, teachers are leaving the profession in droves because misbehaviour and violence committed by students in the classroom is not tenable nor safe.
Yes, 7 years old is far too late. The non-negotiable expectation to do as he is told should have been made clear to him at around 2 years old, not 7.
Haha! I always laugh when I hear parents say that crap. "I'm not telling you again!!!" Yet I've heard them shout that at the kid six times in the last six minutes. The kid realized long ago that the command is meaningless and that he/she is in control.
The producers might consider reducing the applause prompts.
every EFIIN time , someone in the comments bitches about applause . how about just shut the F up about it
They aren't using prompts
@@Sonomacats Yea they are. All TV shows do it. That's why TV is fake and why I don't watch 99% of it.
@@Sonomacats Yea they are. All TV shows do.
@@nickbarcheck1019 are you high? its not The View. They're clapping because they agree with what he says.
We need an edit of this video, with all of Maher's words and none of the constant claps from the audience.
Closed captioning 🤫
It's a live audience ffs. Settle down and unsubscribe if you dont like it
@@brettinnis1807I know, right? To a hammer every problem is a nail. I’m sure their complaints don’t stop with only this subject either.
@@brettinnis1807 most live audiences are not this obnoxious. Maher's audiences have become insufferable over the years.
Be thankful for having a Father and Mother. Many kids nowadays seem to have absent parents.
Exactly what Bill is saying !
@@lancerbiker5263 Yes, and I just wanted to remind everyone how much your parents will appreciate a little Thank You.
It means more to them when they don't expect it, like Mother's day and Father's day.
I use Thanksgiving as a perfect time to send out Thank You cards to my family who have been there for me. They really appreciate getting a handwritten card just saying how much you appreciate them.
Anyone who didn't have a father and mother doesn't exist.
@@HansDelbruck53 That's true
@@Michael9-23-15 Respect leads to appreciation.
"What if Axe body spray coule talk?"
I laughed out loud so hard!
Seriously though, Andrew Tate is a juvenile's fantasy of what a "real man" is. This is why a "trad dad", as Bill has dubbed them, is so very important.
Both Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan are scuzzballs.
We dont have parents anymore.
We have "self replicating narcissists" whos children are extensions of their own over sized egos.
BINGO!
Truth bomb
Aka boomers.
Same as it ever was
every previous generation said this about the next generation.
not everyone sucks, but when they do, we remember them forever. we don't remember the good ones we see out in the world.
He's 100% correct. Kids don't know any better, so it's a Mom or Dad's job to teach them better. My parents were super hard on me most of my childhood. Now I'm not hooked on drugs or alcohol, I don't do any criminal crap, and I can face a stressful situation without having a panic attack.
That's great but it's also a meatball argument
There's plenty of parents who were hard on their kids
Who are now drug addicts
Maybe parents need to go back to running their houses like dictators more
But it's not called the hardest job on the world for no reason
Cuz its not that simple
Bill Maher is literally hooked on drugs: it was half of his monologue.
@@samwills8056 Well, if you're hard on your kids and teach them right from wrong, they'll be more level headed.
That's the point I was trying to make.
It'd be obvious if you... you know... read the comment.
= You are a normal, mentally healthy, responsible adult. Congratulations to you and your parents!
It's a shame that we took parenting to the other extreme - from hard, beating, violent fathers to fathers who don't know what to do, or how to say NO! and how to protect their children in situations when it really matters.
My brother was super pampered and allowed absolutely everything. And Today he doesn't consider "not beeing on drugs" his biggest success. Instead he is a super successful lawer.
The Cousins, that had parents beeing strict, are successes in your book: they are not in drugs. Yeah That's it.
Heck. Even I am not on drugs. And I was raped as a child and am Now completely unable to Take Care of myself. Maybe...if men like you.. who consider themselves successful for not beeing on drugs...would have kept their hands to themselves more ....there would be fewer people like me with ptsd.
It's worth a thought.
The irony is a majority of the live audience clapping are guilty of what he is talking about.
Everyone is. The easiest thing to get people to agree on is that every other parent in the world is doing it wrong.
I think my dad had the right balance when raising us. My granddad was from the generation where fathers were taught not to show affection to their kids because it would make them weak. He raised a solid man out of my dad, but he always wished he could've had a more affectionate relationship with him. Fast forward to my siblings and me, and he had a good balance of disciplining us but also showing the love and affection he wanted from my granddad. He always made it a point for us to know that he was our dad, not our friend, but that he loved us more than anything in the world. I hope to be able to replicate that for my kids.
It’s a difficult balance, but mainly it’s important just to show them more love than “physical discipline” such as paddling or spanking (etc).
Even with a time out at two minutes, they get a hug of three minutes with a detailed explanation of why things happened this way after their behavior dictated the response.
I'm glad that you and others were so fortunate. If only more had been, and would/will be.
Generational propagated developmental trauma (not talking about snowflake crap) has far reaching societal consequences and wildly variable detrimental individual effects and outcomes. It's great when one generation can carry on what was done well, and one generation can be the last to carry on what was done terribly wrong (either coddling or brutalizing). Our only hope lies therein, seems to me.
That’s what I’m trying to do. I am super affectionate and cuddly. I do silly voices. But when I have had to be stern, I don’t yell, it is just my phrasing that gets it done. “I don’t know why you are standing there confused, my instructions were clear, and I demand immediate obedience to orders.” I don’t know if it is working. They scream “dad” when I get home and rush me for hugs. I have to put them to bed. When scared they run to me and not mom.
I worked with a woman who said once, when her son was sassing her, her husband told the kid,” That’s my wife. Nobody talks to her like that!” Kid got the message.
My dad won't just tell me off, he would whoop my ass and get me to offer a treary apology on my knees 😅.
Well, that's not much better. He shouldn't be teaching the kid that the reason not to sass his mom is because she is owned by a man, but because it's not respectful of HER.
@@jaynehenderson5240 …or maybe he just reminded the kid that they, the parents, are a united front and that they have authority over him during his formative years.
What the hell does that even mean?
@@Shmancyfancy536 It means the kid better watch out so that he doesn't get beaten like he's in a bar fight......
"Gentle Parenting" in an Asian household is when you parents let you choose the item they beat you with.
Apparently a lot of people in the comments don't understand what a joke is. It's a fictional, exaggerated line that usually surprises the reader with some kind of misunderstanding or irony.
If you find this offensive, please for your own sake, don't ever watch a comedy stand up on TH-cam.
I will choose the shoe please
@@LutherusPXCs Appropriating the chancletas, are we? /s
My mother would let you choose between a spanking now or three days of grounding, which meant no leaving your room except eating and bathroom. By the time the three days went by, you wound up getting a spanking anyway for not staying in your room. I learned early, just take the spanking and save yourself some time
Ha ha ❤ genuine love says and means “ NO!”
🤣
Staunch Conservative here (Not republican), but you sir, are on point a lot of the time. We can agree to disagree on things, but you are the democrat Liberal that makes sense. Old School, OG republican, and i wish more were like you. Discourse is not defined as hating the person you disagree with. Kudos Bill. JH in NC
I tend to classify the Republican party into two groups: the first group is what I call "common sense Republicans" as they don't fervently worship Donald Trump. Meanwhile the MAGA Republicans are pretty easy to spot as they worship Donald and think of him as a God.
Well said! I'm a moderate liberal, and I agree with you.
I'm a moderate Democrat and agree with Bill 100% on this. People do their children a disservice when they fail to correct them and prepare them for adulthood.
THANK YOU! I remember growing up. When we were in public and we misbehaved, we'd get THE LOOK and we would STFU. We didn't test what the next step would be.
And I'm a millenniel!
The next step was being taken outside (outside the restaurant, store, etc.). And no one wanted to be taken outside. As Bill Engvall brilliantly put it, "Outside, there are no witnesses!"
@@ateamfan42 Outside... or the bathroom apparently
My dad just touched his belt buckle.
I am a child of the late 50s, and all our dad would have to say is "If I have to tell you again," and we'd behave. We never tested what our Dad would do if we didn't behave.
LOL I'm on the tail end of the boomer generation [ June 1964 ] and can still remember THE LOOK anytime I got out of line in public.
I'm more a trad dad but I never liked the phrase "because I said so" so I replace it with "I'll explain it later" and give them natural consequences so that kids understand that there are rules and consequences in life for a reason.
Smart move on your part.
I never liked hearing “because I said so” from my parents. They weren’t very authoritarian and usually explained why. But sometimes they’d snap that line at us, and it did teach me an important thing in life: there’s always a hierarchy, and sometimes it’s pointless to go against the person in charge.
People do things more efficiently when they understand why they're doing them, even in the military.
"Because I said so" is the ultimate cop out from parents too frustrated or inarticulate to raise their children to be reasonable adults.
Parenting is hard, full stop. You just make it worse by not setting boundaries.
That's nonsense. Look at all the kids growing up in the forest or on the tropical islands among the native people. Parenting is naturally the most simple thing in the world as long as you stay away from the society and live in the nature.
Only parents trying to grow kids in toxic environment full of advertising have problems...
@@Rasarel So what, we all just move away from most cities and live in the woods or on a tropical island? The world is growing and can be dealt with, but coddling a child too much only makes them ill equipped for a time when they will be on their own. I raised my 3 just fine and they are happy in their lives. All I had to do was keep them safe, teach them to think for themselves and support them in their interests. In keeping them safe, setting boundaries was part of it and even in their teenage years they did not complain. Being a parent is about putting forth effort, but the right effort in the right ways.
@@Smokie_666 you didn't understand my comment. I'm just saying people who don't want to do parenting don't have to, because children in the nature don't have a personality.
Personality is created in the kindergarten around 4-6 years of age.
Kids in the nature don't create a personality, they stay individuals.
I blame poor education in the US schools.
It looks like people don't have a choice but in reality they have
@@Rasarelwhat an insane comment out of you 😂
@@Rydstein I see you don't travel much.
The world is not just what you have seen in your life. There is much more to it .
My parents were very loving, they were good at communicating with one another and with us. They loved us very much and we knew it. I also heard the word 'no' a lot, and my mom's catch phrase was "life's not fair". They were strict about how we spoke to adults. They demonstrated the importance of showing up to our responsibilities like housework, school, and jobs. I think their balanced approach prepared me for the real world without giving me emotional baggage to carry around. I'm very lucky and grateful for this, and I would like to raise children of my own someday because I think I was given a good blueprint.
role models for parenting, or in my case, being a good auntie, provide a template for showing that love means never having to say 'yes, all yours'.
I was parked in front of my friend’s house and his kids started leaning on my car etc. and he immediately said to them, we don’t climb on other peoples’ cars. I remarked, wow, it is still possible to raise them right. He’s a great Dad. ❤
Unfortunately, my son is raising my grandbaby this way and I don't understand. I raised him kindly with boundaries and standards. My grandbaby gets whatever she wants and if she doesn't has a tantrum. Does not matter where we are; restaurant, store, the park. At 2.5 years she asked for a queen bed when she transtioned from her crib. He bought it. Not only that but she has had anxiety since 15 months old. My son doesn't understand. I told him that he is creating that anxiety by asking her what she wants and when like when she wants to go to bed. He's asking her to be responsible for making these decisions. No amount of me explaining how negative this is gets through to him; he does not understand. He says, "she's happy and that's all I care about." Drives me up the wall. I barely visit and it's sad. I told him one time, 'it's not even nice to be around my own grandaughter because she is beyond spoiled and it taints everything." She even once punched me and my son thought it was funny. He says, "oh, she's never done that before." Instead of correcting her and disciplining her and telling her that it was wrong.
😢
Continue to teach and discipline her properly and she will learn. Kids need boundaries and they know it, and, even if it's long down the road, will ultimately learn from what you've taught her
Much Love 🙏🏻💕
"she's happy and that's all I care about." Ooh yeah, that is some arse-about way of thinking. It's so easy to spot the kids who never hear the word "no". I wish you (and society) good luck for the future.
Must be a single-dad; if not where's the mother in all this?
Sounds EXACTLY like my little niece. She is as Bill says, a "terrorist." Her tantrums have been so numerous, loud, and violent that one can truly NEVER enjoy Life within her presence. My sister-in-law and brother are too arrogant to be willing to comprehend that they've created a problem child.
“Shuddup, he’s trying to watch the game” How about ‘Shuddup’ with the incessant applause Bill? I’m trying to watch the show.
I am a doctor. Multiple times, I've had parents ask their 5 year olds if they think they need an XRay rather than take my advice. I recommended a wrist splint for a 3 year old and his dad asked him, "Do you think you need a wrist splint?" Do you think that kid even knows what a wrist splint is? They don't even make medical decisions for their toddlers. They trust 5 years olds' medical opinions more than that of the doctor. It is absolutely disgusting. God only knows the anxiety these kids have when their parents refuse to take responsibility for their medical care. I kid you not, once a father brought in his daughter who had elbow pain. I examined her and told him that there was no indication of a fracture. So he asked her if she wanted an XRay (wanted, like it's a sweet) and then when she said yes, he said, "Well I hope you know we will be waiting a long time then." I'm sorry, but what the actual fuck is going on here? Why is he asking her at all? And then getting annoyed with her for answering as a child (of course she wants to see her bones)? Hello!!!!!!!! You are her parent!!!!! She is not an adult!!!!!!!!
"If Axe body spray could talk."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's the funniest and most accurate burn I've ever heard! Lol
New rule: Wait until the end to applaud. Sure, laugh a little during the clip, but for all that is holy knock it off with all the clapping. Thanks.
As for parenting, remind kids that the house is not a democracy, it's a benevolent dictatorship.
All taped with applause added during final production.
is this your first time watching the show? if the audience don't laugh like a pack of seals at everything bill says, he gets all huffy.
The clapter borders on insane. Reminds me of phony informercial audiences.
@@helenbodel3974 Completely untrue. Did you learn this on Alex Jones radio show?
The best is when the crowd does not know whether to clap or not...they just nervously look at each other and think what would Bill do...🤷🤦🤔😂
So many people thinks it's a mental issue if they get angry, sad, or disappointed. That's life.
Absolutely
Sometimes I tell my kids that they are not supposed to like everything, when they complain. I don't fix it for them. I tell them to deal with it
Just feel it.
I'm getting into the stage of having children. Me and my wife talked about this situation, and she initially disagreed.
But I explained to her, if everytime we ask our child to do something and they "deserve" an explanation, their whole life becomes "why should I?"
Not only are the parents indifferent but the teachers have zero authority. No wonder the children think they can have whatever they want.
It's the pseudo mental health practitioners with masters' degrees in preschool and a 6-week counseling certificate pathologizing everything that are to blame.
A high percentage of teachers also have "zero" motivation to do anything but just get by & get paid that full-year's salary & benefits for 9 months on the clock, all weekends/holidays off, a week break in spring & fall & 2 weeks at Christmas, summers to do whatever they want to include taking up a second job adding to their income for the year, as well as time off to protest that they aren't taken care of well enough, & all the rest of it. And it's never been easier for that kind to make their way, just fine, since there is nothing within the system, as it now stands, to see them kicked out & replaced with better. There are still some very, very good people in education but, just like in every other field & "profession", they ain't in the majority. My kid graduated high school last week with a 4.03 GPA, so he's not among the problem students, & his excellent 43 year-old homeroom/English teacher told me privately that she is, "..just so tired of working with people paid to be teachers who don't even like children at all; ..it's never been an easier job in a number of ways, but still too many don't care to do it well ..". I also have a sister who took early retirement from teaching last year, who said that it wasn't the kids or even the parents who she'd finally gotten fed up with (although they were "no picnic anymore", either), it was, "..way too many of the co-workers & administrators who are in it for all the wrong reasons & have never really given a $h!t ..". My point is that, realistically speaking, there are some great, engaged, well-intentioned teachers & parents still around, but then there are the $h!theads on both sides, as well. Parents, mostly, aren't what they used to be & neither, mostly, are the people who get paid to educate their children. Just like neither are librarians, who used to make people either shut the hell up or get out, but who now do at least as much chattering & distracting as any of the library customers & no longer care at all how people treat the books or even whether they are returned or not. Just like waiters/waitresses, store clerks, cops, phone-in customer service workers (when you can ever get one that isn't just a machine), doctors & their office staff, auto mechanics, hotel staff, ..Christ, fill the rest of it in with anybody you can think of, .....nothing is done now the way it used to be. I can't all be the fault of "the parents', only the $h!t that they actually did do. So, I'm not taking up for anybody as a group; ..I'm taking up for Nobody but the individuals I know to be those outliers who actually rate appreciation & support.
Teachers have to deal with kids who aren't classroom-ready. Some Parents give their kids smartphones before teaching them how to tie their shoes, and some of these kids can't sit down and shut up long enough to learn. Basic manners and respect aren't being taught at home.
@@user-mz1kt6iz4e You’d last less than a week where I teach. And that’s a gift. If it’s so damn easy, why aren’t you a teacher?
Nope just shitty parenting...
The results are in: I'm dealing with young people in the workplace whose first priority is to let me know what their anxieties are so that the rest of us can work around their condition. I have interview candidates whose very first questions are about vacation, benefits and how we plan to accommodate each of their personal situations. Questions about the job itself are rare and/or last. On their first day, they want to know why they're not invited into senior management meetings. These are people who are used to running the show at home, so they're truly puzzled why that's not the case anymore.
Wow
gross exaggeration ..
@@direwolf6234 Really??? I wasn't even scratching the surface. I literally had 3 of them confront me in the conference room as to why they weren't invited to senior mgmt meetings. I assigned one girl a media project (she was the media coordinator) and she looked at me and growled like a little kid "I don't LIKE to do that stuff!". I could write pages. But instead of acknowledging what many of us are going through, you chose the cheap, lazy response and accused me of exaggerating. No need to guess what age group you're in.
@@hutch1197 why did you hire them? sound like that was an error .. you'd never guess i'm a 70yo boomer ...
@direwolf6234 I'm not the hiring manager for my department. You must be 70 because you seem unaware of the labor shortage we've been enduring for a number of years, not to mention the overall severe decline of candidates in the application pool. These are the choices we're stuck with. A lot of broad conclusions from you.
Millennials were taught that conflict is bad and we should avoid it at all costs. That doesn’t work with raising children, which requires tons of conflict with your child to get them to grow into a functioning adult.
GenX saw it happen and unfortunately knew how it would pan out.
@alichamas63 gen x sucks too
i guess generally speaking yes but i didnt get grow up hearing this
I never believed the adage “The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree” until I moved to a beautiful neighborhood near a University. Fortunately, I met many of the Parents whose young adults attended it. My adjectives for them are: Indulgent, pampered, entitled, overprotective, blah, blah, blah. It is not a beautiful picture.
Parents buy their kids a phone or a Ipad and the parenting is over.
Adults also use Iphones dummy.
You do realize adults also use iPhones right?
@@nickbarcheck1019 completely missed the point :D
@@cedricol Is it my job to understand the point???
@@nickbarcheck1019 and now you missed my point, and again reply something nonsensical that has no relation to the point being made.
I’ve been an educator for many years. This how I see gentle parenting translating to the classroom: students lack discipline, diligence, and grit. I’m an empty nester whose career has been working with children, but when I go to a restaurant, movie theater etc. I look around for where the children are and then I ask to sit as far away as possible. We’ve had many meals ruined by children’s behavior and the parent’s inability to correct them. Children need their parents to be parents and their peers to be their friends. Mr. Maher, I agree children need structure, routine, order, and adults who behave like grownups. When these behaviors are present it allows children to relax and feel safe. Children then can feel free to learn and just be kids.
If anything, I find the lazy parents and their kids are SILENT at restaurants, because they simply let junior zombify themself with an iPad or a phone.
Although I've also had junior playing their video at 100% volume which is a different kind of annoying.
Both my kids are adults now and very well adjusted. One rule we applied from the get go was the "No tantrum rule". In simple terms, they could have a tantrum whenever they want, but they would NEVER get the outcome that the tantrum was intended to achieve. Kids need loving boundaries. Need structure. Give them that then that's the best chance you give them of developing into well adjusted functioning adults.
What the hell is a no patty?
@@Ftybr57must be tantrum. Or tanty
What is a paddy?
I've changed the word to tantrum for the benefit of clarity.
Yep. My wife stopped those tantrums right away. They are teenagers now. If they roll their eyes now, she smacks the shit out of them. My sons friends say she is scary.
I'm a younger millennial who had extremely abusive parents (I guess not past tense, they're still alive) - truly, and I don't use these words lightly, sociopaths who didn't just beat us with a belt, but, made a 2" thick wooden paddle with holes "because then it hurts more" solely to beat the hell out of us with, wouldn't feed us properly to the point my brother and I are both stunted, messed with our sleep HARD, saw cinderella and rapunzel as good parenting guides, I could really go on but point is truly abusive. When I first heard the term "gentle parenting" and had it explained to me by, apparently deluded and manipulative people, I thought it was great but just sounded like "just don't be abusive to your kids."
Then reels and tt came out and I started approaching an age where people have kids and I'd get some videos of "gentle parenting".....didn't take long to realize: wait this is just coddling and enabling bad behavior, and this is the kind of thing that produces parents exactly like mine (psychopaths).
Don't spank, beat, hit your kids. Don't enforce your eating disorder diet on them, don't have kids and then constantly berate them for being a separate person from you or just for acting their age in a harmless way, don't isolate them from peers and friends, don't be a stay at home parent who then does literally nothing and models selfishness and laziness as "parenting".....treat your kid like a human being, but for the love of god please stop enabling behavior you don't want to see repeated in the world around you 10000x worse, because that's what this coddling does.
It’s heartbreaking to hear you had to live through all that! It sounds like you are now dealing with it the best way you can though. Inspiring really! Have a good one
Cry harder.
Nailed it Bill. Proper parenting teaches respect.
Yes "proper parenting" does establish respect. Unfortunately the type of parenting Bill is advocating for is the opposite of proper parenting and only causes kids to grow up filled with bitterness and resentment. If parents want their kids to respect them then they need to lead by example and communicate with their kids. None of the "do as I say, not as I do" or "because I said so!" bs. Make sure you conduct yourself the way you want your kid to and make sure to communicate why what they did is wrong or harmful and that's why they're being punished. There's a reason why the authoritarian style of parenting went out with the payphone.
Yes "proper parenting" does establish respect. Unfortunately the type of parenting Bill is advocating for is the opposite of proper parenting and only causes kids to grow up filled with bitterness and resentment. If parents want their kids to respect them then they need to lead by example and communicate with their kids. None of the "do as I say, not as I do" or "because I said so!" bs. Make sure you conduct yourself the way you want your kid to and make sure to communicate why what they did is wrong or harmful and that's why they're being punished. There's a reason why the authoritarian style of parenting went out with the payphone.
SOCIAL MEDIA DESTROYED EVERYTHING
Best comment ever
Wrong MAGA nuts and woke screw offs did.
no, people ruin everything. like guns, not for everyone.
Hilarious ... posting this while on social media lmao..ass.
@@KingjedX
whatever the devil meant for evil GOD will always get the glory one way or another
I once had a mother of one of my recruits come up to me and complain about all the hard stuff I was making her son do. I just looked at her and said "What is is about 'Your son is in the Army' that you do not understand". He was the most untrainable wet noodle I've ever had, and it's his parents fault.
Someone needs to redo the FMJ intro in Gentle Parenting style!
Dang I feel bad for the kid... really all these kids now a days
Mommy Karen wanted free college for Johnny, not for him to become a grown man. 😂
Wow!
Wait what?! In what context are you interacting with parents? Has this kid left for basic yet?
Don’t agree with Bill on a lot but this one is spot on. I have 3 kids, the one solace I take is they will rule the world because no one else kids will know how to act. Best parenting advice I received was mirror in the comments. “Your job as a parent is not to be friends with your kids. But to turn them into adults you would want to be friends with.” Not only are they ruining society as a whole but most of these parents will hate their adult children.
"Our kids are crippled with anxiety because they haven't been properly prepared for a world that doesn't revolve around them." Exactly! Classic Maher. Bill, please do not ever retire.
And there's something else he didn't mention. Kids today do not know how to READ.
Kids TODAY? There were a number of my classmates who could barely utter a coherent sentence back in the NINETIES. Coming up on 30 years later and there's just no hope left for most of them!
@@Arclite02 Most adults are stupid. Let alone kids. I have aunts and uncles in their 50s and 60s who know NOTHING. Can't name a branch of government. Don't know we invaded Iraq. Probably couldn't name the president if they had to. People are mind numbingly stupid and just don't care about the world around them.
@@Arclite02 Adults are dumb. Let alone kids. I know people in their 50s and 60s who know NOTHING.
@@Arclite02 How can kids be smart when their parents aren't?
@@nickbarcheck1019 That what school is supposed to be for!
The audience didn’t clap enough.
That’s because it’s not a real live audience
It's Bill's staff
i cant like this enough, like them
Seriously, I agreed with pretty much everything said but didn't feel the need to clap after every sentence. What is with this monologue???
The biggest change I've noticed in parenting is letting their children run around stores and public places. There have been multiple instances where I'm waiting in line and children are literally running around screaming and tearing up the stores, bumping into people while their oblivious parents are on their phones or just generally not paying attention. I remember my parents leaving the store if I was acting up or would discipline me then and there and that put a stop to my antics.
Yes, and the older generations raised by strict parenting are doing such a good job running the world (lol) and definitely don't have mental issues or emotional problems (you people know literally nothing).
@@dzed5579 How about learning from both extremes? Be kind, but firm.
@pixel9548 this style of parenting has existed since the 80s. Psychologists have been pushing the Authoritative style of parenting for decades. Nobody listens. The 4 parenting styles are learned in psychology 101. Just because Bill and a majority of people do next to zero research on any of the parenting literature and recommendations that have existed for years isn't my fault. It's theirs. This idea that we need to return to Authoritarian style parenting completely goes against the research and data that psychologists have been touting for decades.
I was an 80s kid, our moms took us to the bathroom and spanked our ass. I remember one time I was getting spanked by my mom at the same time another girl was getting spanked by hers. LOL
@@dzed5579 Can you point to the part of the video where Bill advocates for a "return to Authoritarian style parenting" as opposed to simply not kowtowing to them over every little thing?
100 % Bill ! Thankyou for saying what we all thinking !🇨🇦
I don't listen to Andrew Tate I don't push Andrew Tate but Bill is completely off base here he should have Andrew on for an interview. Bill hates him because he likes Trump. The veil of Bill Maher has been pulled with his podcast revealing how utterly stupid his takes are.
speak for yourself
Not saying I find fault with, or have a specific criticism of, Maher's performance.
Saying: speak for yourself.
It's an admirable character trait/behavior.
So is refraining from offering unsolicited advice.
But this isn't "advice". It's an admonition. 😆😂
Don't get me started about how right you are on this one! I burnt out being a child therapist after 17 years of trying to get adults to disciple kids. We're raising a generation of criminals who get whatever they want and could care less about everybody else!
NOT only WE! Just a few minutes watching/listening to Trump opens up so many questions about his parents and their approach to his upbringing. He is definitely a model for what is wrong with today's younger generation. His MAGA followers reflect that same lack of self-discipline, of a failure to reflect on their own actions, and of refusing to be accountable for what they say and do; never mind exploring the consequences of what they think and believe!
I'm 51 and trying to "adult" some slightly younger middle-aged people. They buy into the "obese is beautiful and not your fault" "you can't blame alcoholics for driving drunk" "Type 2 diabetes just runs in the family.......and from a friend who dresses like a trans court jester to express his true self, "I feel like people look at me like I'm a freak, it's not fair. I have the right to look the way I want to. Why do they look at me like that?!"
If your friends with your children, you will still be parenting when they become adults. If you parent children you will be friends when they are adults.
Well said!
You should be a parent first and a friend second.
Very well said! I am using that phrase now. Thank you!
@shannon
That’s the truth!
*if you are (you're)friends....
Yesterday was 7 years since my dad died of cancer. I LOVED my dad, but I was also terrified on making him angry or disappointed in me. He didn't even have to say anything to me to make me stop doing something he didn't want me doing. He would just whistle once or give me a piercing look, like Batman, and I would freeze instantly as if I looked into the eyes of Medusa LMAO. R.I.P. Dad. Stay strong all the real traditional fathers trying to raise decent children, especially the ones with sons.
I had a dad like that. I love him, now, lol, but as a kid he was far too overbearing with his anger. It certainly kept me in line, but it also kept me from taking any risks in life because I didn't want to 'disappoint him'.
I still remember I was like 25yo or so, and he invited me to fish with him. When I showed up, he noticed an expired tag on my car, and like usual, his temper takes over and he starts getting sh!tty with me about how I'm going to get pulled over, ticketed, insurance will go up, blah blah blah.
Finally, for the first time in my life, I stood up to him. I stopped him mid sentence and said "dad, that's easy to get fixed, and if I get pulled over, it's not the end of the world. Now do you want to bicker and bitch at me all day, or do you want to have a relaxing fishing trip? Because I've no problem getting back in my car and leaving".
It was like NO ONE had ever said anything like that to him, because he instantly snapped out of it, gave me a look like "you're right", and nodded and said "okay, I'll be in the truck". He's never talked down to me since.
I taught 7th graders for 34 years. I had very high expectations and never lowered the bar for anyone. When a parent complained about the "F" their child received, I told them I wanted to be fair and would let them decide. I would show them the intelligently researched, well written "A" expository and their child's one paragraph, incomprehensive, "written on the fly", ripped, no last name, effortless paper. It was amazing how the student's work ethic improved in less than 24 hours.
We also read the classics, Edgar Allen Poe, Jack London and more. I had high state test scores without teaching the test. This wasn't an affluent suburb. It was an economically, intellectually and culturally diverse Chicago public school with at least 34 students per classroom.
As a teacher this all too familiar. The inmates at school run the adults all around the school.
Teacher, 23 years. Took early retirement. I used to love teaching- but between the hover parents and their entitled spawn from hell PLUS weak administrators- teachers don’t have a chance. One 5th grade boy wiped out several computers and printers throwing a tantrum since he lost at Scrabble. This same kid clocked a girl at the locker next to him just because. Nothing happened since he had an “attachment disorder.” This same student goes out with his dad to nice restaurant with very high end outdoor plantings. Kid gets wrong dessert, throws fit, destroys floral display. Dad does nothing. Waiter tells kid to clean it up, since dad won’t. Dad complains that employee is cruel to son. Owner 86’s kid and dad forever. Consequences in the real world kids. People need to take parenting classes before they have kids. Being their friend ALWAYS backfires. You are the ADULT in the room. Act like it.
@@cf3451 God love you. I would NEVER be a teacher. I'd rather go hungry.
@@cf3451 My own evaluation of a teacher's success is if the student graduates with a curiosity that can never be quelled. Daniel Boorstin wrote a trilogy of "Discoverers", "Creators", and "Seekers", all of which are fantastic. A desire to learn is a quality that works in retirement, too. Martin Gardner puzzles from Scientific American are stimulating...for me, but I'm an atheist who prefers science to some Mesopotamian sheepherders' hallucinations.
That's soooo original...🙄
@@jrzygurl Yuck. Let me guess, single and lonely?
Xennial here, I got my first non-family job at 16, my father would have laughed his head off if I asked him to come to an interview with me, I also never would have thought of doing that. That's just bizarre.
Boomer here. 4 kids. It’s not so hard to be good parent. Zero tolerance for bad behavior- I took my kids to their room, no toys, for a 10 min time out. No yelling. No hitting. Kids hate to be by themselves when everyone else is together. Do that a few times and they will listen to you and give you little grief. No negotiations over bad behavior. It’s my way or the highway. The last things kids need is choice. They need to be told. They are kids. They don’t know any better. It’s not rocket science
good words - they dony knoew any better
As a kid of a boomer. It really is that simple.
Exactly and as long as you’re a fair parent with humility and have the punishment fit the crime, you can discipline the kids rather well
Boomers started this problem. Day of the pillow can't come soon enough.
A phrase I heard once that I like to live by when appropriate: “Give them a choice when it’s not imprtant. Tell them what to do when it is.”
There’s nothing wrong humanizing interactions with your children, respecting their intelligence and treating them with dignity- but you can’t let them do whatever they want.
Their brains aren’t developed and they have no perspective. That’s called lord of the flies.
It’s my job to keep my kids safe and put my kids in scenarios where they can learn, fail a lot, and build their self worth through experiences like respect, being patient, earning things and disagreeing with people you have to deal with, so one day they can take care of themselves.
Get this.
Years ago, I was at a library computer. A father brought his son, who I think was between 8-10, and the boy was playing a video game. The boy was loud enough in his excitement to annoy everyone around them. It took ten minutes since I arrived until a woman had enough and said "shhh!" That's when the boy calmed down. The woman then went to the father complaining of the noise his son was making. He responded saying "He's just a kid." I don't know what she responded with, but he responded back by saying "Fuck off! Fuck off!" in front of her and for the library to hear.
Nice job, dad! Swearing in front of your kid!
@JonnyTainment
What’s wrong with swearing in front of your kids? They will lean those words eventually, you might as well teach it to them early on in life. There’s things that are much worse than swearing in front of your kids.
@@giantsr1eva It's not the fact that the dad was swearing that should trigger you, it's the fact that he even said "he's just a kid" when other people called him out on how uneducated his kid is.
@@alrune8
Bill Maher told me to not get triggered by words and to believe in free speech. I never said that I agreed with his actions, I am saying that we shouldn’t be triggered by swear words and that there are worse things that can happen then swearing in front of your kids.
It is more about how you interact and show respect in a situation. If the best words you can use in a situation are swear words, first, you aren't very bright. Second, you are showing your child that you are not mature and setting a poor example. Third, other parents don't need to have their children exposed to immaturity and stupidity.
@@giantsr1eva What a dumb argument. Only uncultured hicks would swear in front of children.
Ugh, Im a seasoned nurse, combat veteran, Former USDA Forest Service Firefighter, EMT, Construction worker and before all that I was High School kid in the 90s. Started HS when the participation trophy thing started. Weirdest thing I have ever seen was watching one of my nieces friends come in close to dead last in a gymnastic meet she neither prepared for nor gave a shit about and got a trophy that looked like the one the first place participant received. I told my brother that was setting them up for mediocracy. To which my sister in law's friend and mother of the girl snapped at me and asked what she should have received? An insult? I said no, she should have received nothing. a T-shirt maybe, for being in the competition, but not a fuckin trophy. Trophies are for the winners, those who worked the hardest. I said if you give kids a trophy for everything, they're under the impression they rock at everything and your kid doesn't. Gymnastics isn't her game. she's terrible at it and she doesn't care. Just to be clear, at her age at the time, the other girls had been in gymnastics for 6-7 years and they were at least decent at it. Where she was terrible. I felt a little embarrassed for her. I couldn't in good conscience say "You were amazing" or even "good job." She went out there, bored as hell looking and made next to zero effort to prepare and it showed. Which get's me to my history. I always gave it my all in sports. Baseball mainly, and I came home with torn off finger nails from being a catcher and getting hit in the hands while batting and bruises everywhere and skinned knees and ever other injury you can imagine. And that was just from practice! After game day I was in much rougher shape. Because game day is when you really go the extra mile. My Dad didn't tell me how awesome I played when I had a shitty game. He told me I didn't look like myself out there today. And asked me why. Truth was, I was preoccupied. Girlfriend, or a party I was looking forward to or something. He said while on the field, be there, or sit the game out. Don't let your team down like that. And I took that with me everywhere after he said that. To the Marines, to the Forestry service, to EMT and Nursing field I now work in. I'm 46, and I believe my generation was the last of hard ass parenting. I got spanked when I was little. When I was grounded I was actually GROUNDED! I was going nowhere. NOWHERE! And God help me if I dared try. When I was fighting in High School frequently, one day I had to come home and fight the old man. He had had enough of my BS. I was in a fight at least once a week and when I cam home, I fought my last fight while still in school. He KICKED MY ASS! And I deserved every punch he threw. EVERY SINGLE ONE! I wasn't injured, just knocked down to size, FINALLY! And I finally woke the HELL up as a result of it. My DAD didn't have to go corporal punishment with my other siblings after the age of spankings had stopped. With me, he had to take it to the next level and it worked.
In the Marines I of course got in fights. It's just how things were in the 90s-early 2000s. Now I hear it's a different place. But as a nurse now, having to train 21-22 year old RNs who just left one of those sorry ass excuses for a University, I have the most narcissistic, self absorbed, lazy, distracted, yet anxious and insecure young person standing before me who honestly thinks they know it all already. They call in sick constantly, they can't be away from their phone for longer than 2-3 minutes. I had one girl forget her phone at home one morning and said she was going to run home and get it. I said she couldn't, she needed to stay. She cried. SHE FUCKING CRIED! Because her best friend forever, her iphone, wasn't with her. She went home sick! About an hour into her shift she said she wasn't feeling good and went home. She probably wasn't feeling good, she was in severe withdrawal from not having her brain numbing device to stare at.
We are fucked! We are FUCKED! This next crop of 20 somethings entering the nursing field do not and never will give a fuck about you if you're their patient. I am 100% certain, if I get old, I will will be a neglected patient or resident. Nobody wants to go against HR. So the shitty employee is going to get away with it. WE ARE FUCKED!
I work in the Dietary Department of my local hospital and my coworkers and I often have to ask the nurses to pick up trays from patient rooms. When we do, they get snippy and complain about how they couldn't sit on their lazy butts and goof around on their phones during a slow spot in their day.
Unfortunately phone addiction is everywhere- but in the healthcare profession it’s especially bad- in elder care settings where the patients are the most vulnerable 😢
Modern parenting is all about "protecting your child's confidence and self-esteem." The problem is, these aren't things anyone is born with. They're things that are learned. Confidence comes from success, from knowing you can repeat that success.
Kids today aren't being taught to be confident, they're being groomed to be arrogant. Instead of self-esteem, they're being trained to be narcissistic.
Believe it or not, I know a few young people (17-23) who have work ethics, who do believe in meritocracy and, yes, they do have cell phones but they don't choose it over their jobs.
The stat at 3:00 was misrepresented to be greatly exaggerated. It's not 1 in 5 graduates bring a parent to an interview, it's 1 in 5 interviewers had seen a applicant bring a parent. No need to exaggerate like that, in my opinion; it's striking that that many interviewers have witnessed a parent coming along.
Pretty much the same thing but thanks for clearing that up. 😂😂😂
@@marshafick4006Not the same thing at all. Interviewers could see hundreds of graduates. If 100 interviewers see 100 graduates each (so ten thousand graduates in total), and 19 percent of them have reported seeing an graduates bring a parent, that could just mean 19 out of 10 thousand graduates brought a parent - 0.19%
As a recovering academic, I can say very little of the "anxiety" of college students is due to being challenged by ideas they don't like. Most of it is from toxic dorm social interactions and the fact that no one ever didn't give them an A or a trophy. The professor-cancelling is almost entirely a way to get back at the first authorities who told them "No," "You're not perfect," and "You need to improve your work--here's a grade less than an A." And they are NOT equipped to do the hard work, spend time, and generally learn things by revising their work and ideas. You know. Get educated.
As a mexican parent don't worry Bill, We got it crystal clear...
🙄
La Chancla.
You may, but not all of them do.
Es todo wey!
❤
If a man needs permission to be a real dad, he'll never be one.
Mothers can also be part of the problem - shielding the children they gave birth to because she disagrees with "being a dad."
Real dads don't ask permission. They give it when they want to, and only when they want to.
Yeah, but it's not all or nothing. We don't want men to be completely psychotically convinced that they're inherently right about everything, and that means we want them to care at least a little about what the social consensus is. And that means that the social consensus can't be something idiotic, because then the only men who aren't idiots will be the one who are psychopaths.
@@Baeraad
Psychobabble. Most of the time the first abuse(s) a child endures come from Mommy Dearest. There's nothing more "psychotic" than an Oprah and Instagram addled mom tossing junior his first iPhone at nine years old.
@@Baeraad Nobody is saying it's all or nothing. Basically nothing on this earth is "all or nothing". This is the same class of observation that "Not all X are Y". Yes, we know. That's how pretty much everything works.
Also, the social consensus is frequently idiotic, because it's made up of the general public (or worse: the internet), who is usually at best completely misinformed on any given topic, if they've paid it any attention at all.
Finally, disagreeing with what Reddit says doesn't make one a psychopath. Psychopaths may not care either, but you've got your cause and effect backwards.
One of the better monologues Bill has given in a while.
I also remember a teacher I had in grade school that was extremely unbalanced. She was incredibly petty and not just with me, but many boys, verbally abusive and would even lie about our apparent misbehavior. I didn’t know it at the time, but several parents including my own and the school board were working on retiring her early.
Why did I not know that? Because I was a kid and my father and mother told me that she was a teacher and elder and I would respect her no matter what. And even if I felt I was in the right, life would be full of difficult situation where I had to be subordinate to people that were difficult and I needed to learn how to succeed no matter what.
It was an invaluable lesson I was so fortunate to learn as a child. No excuses, persevere.
I agree with one exception... When a kid asks 'Why?' Maybe sometimes you should have a reasonable answer besides; "Because I said so..." Simply put, you'll get more cooperation from the smart kids if you don't justify every rule the same way. (Yeah being a parent can be difficult!)
When I was in junior high school, some teachers had the tendency to answer a lot of questions with “it’s inappropriate“, and I still have an issue with that word today. If that was truly the case, I wouldn’t have minded, but a little more detail would’ve been nice!
Obviously parenting is not the same thing, and I do agree that a parent doesn’t always need to justify their decisions to a child, especially if the child is too young to fully understand. Nonetheless, I feel that giving the child actual information - rather than acting dismissive on principle - will not only be healthier, but make the understanding process easier.
Just because an answer is reasonable doesn't mean it's going to be understood by a 5 year old, not even the smart ones. Why broccoli instead of ice cream? Is it reasonable? Of course it is. Is your answer going to be understood? Of course not. If they don't understand, it's counterproductive and only leads to further protesting, arguing and drama. And kids catch on pretty quick that they can "why" you into going their way.
Agreed. It will teach them to be better thinkers if they understand why things have to be the way they are. Only exception to explaining yourself would be in case of emergency or when urgent action is needed.
Sometimes, my son is very smart for his age im talking goes to 2nd and 3rd grade classes in kindergarten and when he asks for a why sometimes the best answer is because I said so because your kid does need to respect your authority and not question it especially with safety
@@noli.me.tangere
I would personally give my child ice cream over broccoli any day. I would be a hypocrite if I made them do that, I don’t even like vegetables as an adult.
This was great. I grew up in the 90's and it you told me Maher would run lines like this some day I would not believe you. Nobody would. But here we are. So amazing.
Thank you, Bill Maher!!
Once again, you have said what we were all thinking, and never had the balls to say.
❤
Yes it was so very brave of Bill to approach such a sensitive topic as unruly babies😅
NOT at all. Speak for yourself, 3178!
This also the difference between single parent house holds led by men as opposed to led by women. Mothers tend to tell their sons that they are a team, that it’s “mommy and you against the world.” But single fathers tell their kids, “we are not a team. It’s my responsibility for you to grow up and be able to function without me.”
"What if Axe body spray could talk" 😂😂😂
that got me good as well! 😂😂😂
I am 64 and never had kids and agree with Bill here. Well done👏👏
Barren?
@@nickbarcheck1019 I'm over 50 and never had children too, I have a female sister and cousins older than me, who also don't have children by choice... A lot of us older people also choose not to have children, its not just the younger generations.
I'm perfectly fine to end my bloodline with me, rather than having to raise children in poverty like I was raised just to be a corporate wage/tax slave all their lives... My mother regretted having children has well just to see them suffer and struggle like she had to, but she was young and stupid and didn't knew better at the time. it's not worth perpetuating our species just to see the majority suffer just to survive in an uncaring world so that the elites can have slaves.
@@MarcoAntonio-if1kdthanks for sharing and there are a multitude of reasons why people choose to not have children. 🙏🏼
I was not raised by a father, and the military became my daddy. I am fortunate to be the stay at home parent. I will set the example that my two young sons need to succeed in life. No screens, healthy diet, and treating people with respect, no matter their background. I will not be heavy-handed like the world was to me and believe you me, I will raise two magnificent young men who will love their family, each other, and their community.
I would not agree with an absolute NO on screen-type implements; but I would put a limit on the amount of time a child spends with a screened-implement! As a parent, we all need to discern the balance between discipline, encouragement, and just plain good manners. I am reminded of a retired school teacher who met with other retired teachers monthly at a restaurant. As each teacher entered the restaurant, she held out her open purse into which each out her cell phone, which stayed in that purse until they were preparing to go home! THAT remains a memorable lesson in what is truly important for that occasion.
Amen
I never had a Dad. You could say I was raise by TV. You got to give your kids balance, no screens during dinner, and not until they finish their homework. Some unhealthy food, but mostly healthy food. I was self-discipline. I also liked getting my school work done first so I could watch all the TV and play all the video I wanted. My mom didn't make me do anything, but that's because my grades were constantly A's and B's, and I naturally respected her authority, even the handful of times I didn't agree with her. Anyways, definitely set boundaries and rules with kids, but try to explain to them why if you can, and if they don't like it, oh welp, you're their parent, not their equal, and they need to be thought some matters and discipline at minimum. A healthy middle ground of parenting, strict but not to an astronomical level.
It's best to just binge watch Super Nanny, and copy paste. British nannies are the best parents literally.
@@tytn9978yeah, no screen time is not a good idea, because the kid grows up and moves out of the house and doesn't know how to discipline their time with TV, video games and their social life they need to maintain.
Yeah I think children should be allowed to use the Internet the problem comes in when they start using Facebook X etc and thinking those people they never met are there friends keep your kid away social media they can have fun watching TH-cam videos and watching movies on Tubi or playing Games stuff like that instead
I’m so glad I had the father I had growing up. My husband is a traditional dad and my sons are very good men because of him. He has sayings- “if you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late”; “nothing good ever happens after midnight”; “don’t ever do anything illegal, immoral or unethical”. He was never their friend, always their father and they have a wonderful relationship with him. Btw, I’m a traditional mom. I’d go into my sons room every day to have a look around, see what’s going on in their reptilian brains. I got flack from not only my kids but other parents who tried to tell me about “privacy”. I told them “ this is my house and my husbands. Not theirs. When they start paying the mortgage, I’ll think about privacy.” More parents need to parent.
OMG What is ip with all the clapping? Utterly distracting.
Every statement or sentence doesn't need clapping.
Save it til the very end.
Applause signs might be the reason.
At shows like this they train audiences how and when to laugh when a joke (whether funny or not) is made. They run you through two takes of that before they let the audience in the studio. This is why many times it’ll seem over the top
This show is for idiots that don't know when to laugh so they need to be told.
bill berates his audience when they don't clap and laugh like hyenas to every thing he says.
Audience of childless people
My mother used to discipline me by saying ... 'You think this I'm being mean to you, wait till your dad gets home and I tell him what you did' ...
Kids need to remember that. It's like the scene from Return of the Jedi where Darth Vader says to the Imperial officer "The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"
i love that...............
Dad proceeds to beat the shit of that kid 😂
except the father becomes feared as a disciplinarian only
And the mom helps instill in her children that she (women) has no authority and deserves no respect.
Indeed, I was lucky to have a traditional dad.
Next year I will be 50 years old, and I know that most of the good things that happened in my life (especially my happy marriage!) are the result of me applying the lessons learnt from him.
He died three weeks ago, at 74, but he will forever remain in my heart, and in the hearts of my two younger brothers. RIP, Dad.
I am so sorry for your loss. Three weeks is quite recent. May your Father's Soul be at Peace. I have now lost both Parents, exceptional people. My heart aches for them each and every day. 🖤
@@CborgMega My condolences on your father's passing.
As a grandparent saying this to other grandparents....BACK OFF and let your kids be adults and raise their own kids. If the kids come and ask you a question "can I go/do etc." defer them to their parents. "You need to ask your Dad/Mom, they're right there". AND don't critique/contradict them about their answer in front of the kids. This is a considerable part of the problem.
As a new dad, I'm trying to raise intelligent kids who can do things on their own. But there will always be that fear of whether you're either smothering them too much or not loving them enough.
These are fears only a truly conscientious and dedicated father will have. It's a fine line to thread. Too much strictness and you may weaken their spirit while with too much laxity they may grow up weak and entitled.
All in all I think your children are lucky. The fact that you're even thinking of this stuff is a good sign
I respect your self-awareness. Also, don't be afraid to apologize and be humble when necessary. I wish my father had learned that. To an extent, I had to parent myself.
Based on your words, I am pretty sure you will find that balance that pretty much is a very volatile thing.
Don't worry it's not a small window or so I have heard. Good luck!
Let them explore their own abilities, whether they succeed or fail. If they fail, do not rescue them immediately as it diminishes their innate problem-solving ability, which does lead to success. If they ask, of course, share your own solutions and why they worked for you. Asking for advice is part of keeping curiosity alive which is admirable.
I agree. Parents should go back to putting their kids in their place. Even a friend of mine posted a meme that said: "I'd rather go to jail for spanking my kids than visit them in jail because I didn't!"
Put yourself in jail
Yes! The pendulum is swinging back and my genx raised by silent generation parenting skills are coming back in style. “Because I said so” is my favorite line
@BabyGirlDontEvenPlaynobody cares
@BabyGirlDontEvenPlay more like, “I am the government and you’re too young to vote,” which is the case.
Then don't be surprised if your kids grow up feeling a strong sense of resentment and bitterness towards you. "Because I said so" is nothing other than lazy parenting which gives parents an excuse to not have to teach their kids lessons or have the difficult conversations and explain things to them they don't understand. You want your kids to respect you and learn then openly communicate with them and lead by example. Sorry for the harsh criticism but it needs to be said. Bill is way off base here and there's a reason why the parenting practices he's advocating for are a thing of the past.
I would have thought that having reasons for your decisions / actions and articulating them to the child might just possibly raise an adult that is rational rather than in thrall to emotive and self indulgent messages...but hey, you do you...
@BabyGirlDontEvenPlay Ronald Reagan was a dummy.
Obesity, the cruelest form of child neglect, is an unambiguous sign of a lack of adults parenting.
These kids are experiencing catastrophic health issues by 12 years old and doctors suggest they won’t live past 55 years. All completely avoidable.
If you cannot convey or teach social skills and mannerisms- do not become a parent. It’s a baby that’s going to become an adult just like you did. They’re not accessories for your social status. They are people!
People can sometimes grow into the parents their children need.
They overturned Roe.
The same people who have those claims fight to force mothers(fathers can’t be physically forced) into becoming parents at all costs. We pressure them about their biological purpose, their ticking clock and when the guilt tripping doesn’t work proactively we just wait for them to be impregnated without signing up for it and we call them murderers if they say thanks no thanks i’m not ready.
My daughter is 27. She graduated from Towson University with a BA in psychology and now works as a behavioral therapist with autistic children. When she was between 3 and 7, her favorite restaurant was the Old Country Buffet. They had a rule that children under 10 were supposed to be accompanied to the buffet by a parent. We observed this rule. Most did not. My then toddler, seeing other children her age pelting pell mell all over the place, several times asked me whether those poor children had parents who cared about them.
Of course, the answer is no.
At all-u-can-eat CiCi's pizza I saw an obese 13 year old grabbing slices of pizza with his filthy hands, smelling slices, then putting them back...so we can all taste his fecal covered fingers. His parents were doing the same thing.🤮🤮🤮 Never going to CiCis again!!!!
@@xhagast Oh, no, my friend. I told her that they were sitting right there, and cared about their kids very much, but were taking advantage of the fact that someone else would have to clean up any mess. I said I was sure those children were well behaved at home, but here they allowed their children to behave as though they were on a playground. My four (4) year old called that rude and inconsiderate. The next year, in kindergarten, she strongly gravitated to the few well-behaved children. She's still friends with some of them.
@@ramonmachtesh3035 Congrats, you got a smart kid.
@@xhagast Thanks.Nature, nurture, and a bit of luck.
Does Bill hire a troop of trained seals to clap and hoot after every sentence?
google: audience
It was weirdly annoying this segment. Maybe the sound mix was off.
Google: happy to hear sanity in a fucked up world
Probably does. And it is artificial and annoying
I don't think so, I'd be clapping too, I think this segment was gold
My Dad was a big fan of this show and used to play clips for me all the time. He passed two years ago, but I guarantee we would have a big old laugh at this episode! Thanks Bill for making us bond and laugh with your brilliant, sharp and witty commentary.
“He was born when lighting struck a jug of protein powder.” Lol
Tate is more of a man than Maher could ever imagine being.
@@nickbarcheck1019 you're precisely the problem this clip highlights, and don't have the self-awareness to see it.
@@cedricol I have no dog in the hunt. Not married and no kids. Don't care about this society.
@@nickbarcheck1019 Being a con artist is not the same as being a man. And I laugh at any man who "follows" him. I find it hilarious men don't see the problem with "following" another man. I would never do such a thing. Being a loner has its advantages.
@@jimmym3352 No being a loner is a bad thing. Having friends is important.
I lived in Shanghai China for 2 years. Never once saw an obese or misbehaving child. The very first thing Chinese kids are taught by their parents, schools and society is to respect their elders and other people.
Parents are strict and demanding. They punish children by making them study and work. They don’t allow their kids to go wherever they want or dress in whatever they want. In America, we call it “authoritarian parenting”, but in China they view it as the path to achievement and success. That’s why even Chinese-American students are the country’s top performers.
Yeah, but that creates robots and machines that blindly obey authority, because that's exactly what the chinese government wants. That's not better than the other extreme.
Grew up in the era of kids should be seen (very briefly) and not heard. Manners, discipline, and respect. I’m old and am grateful for the parents I had
My adult kids are estranged and I paid for their colleges in America and they are debt free. I was a gentle parent
I love them but no peace for me on this earth I feel so lost no hope no love no Father’s Day greetings