Regarding relapse, the smartest thing my sponsor ever told me...It is this simple, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." I too believe that relapse is just part and parcel in some people's recovery. And I was sooooo lucky to have a sponsor who never, ever, shamed me for it. I did not loose all that time clean and all those tools of recovery just because I relapsed. What I did loose though was the "fun" I used to get out of using. Once I had some real clean time under my belt, using just was never the same for me again.
Jes, when you said you had thought about not including hurting those you care about in your story, I almost clicked away--not because of you, but because it triggered my own shame. It's literally paralyzing at times. THANK YOU for taking the harder path by including such a painful memory. Your willingness to show such difficult parts of your life experience plants a seed of the idea in some of us that maybe we're not the horrible, worthless f-ups we think we are. Maybe we aren't alone. It's the most powerful gift. Thank you so much.
@@stone8654 I wouldn't judge her if it was current. It is well known that relapse tends to be a part of the recovery process. I truly believe she is strong and wise enough to learn from such a mistake and not use it as an excuse to fall all the way down again. She's come too far. But even the best of us mess up sometimes. It's ok, as long as you don't make excuses.
I had a big problem with relapsing when I was bored or angry. If I get angry I would relapse to hide my feelings. If I was bored I would relapse. I also had a big problem with the act of doing it. Been clean for just over 2 years now.
@@marklesparkle5882 what is spice? Is that the synthetic marijuana??? I didn't know you could actually get addicted to that stuff? I saw a lot of people when I worked in the ER who had taken spice and freaked out or threw off their electrolytes taking that stuff.
I got clean because I “NEEDED” to.. relapsing is what made me actually WANT to get clean. I really think those feelings are a necessary part of fully recovering. Hang in there, always!
I can completely relate. Relapse was for sure part of my story. I hurt every single person in my life including my child. I know what you mean by "your moment". My moment was the phone call to tell me my brother's battle with addiction was over because he was found dead and alone in a motel. In the addiction will take every single thing from us and that was the last thing i allowed it to take from me. I have 7.5 years clean, regained custody of my child and I fight every day to make it up to my son. I have my now 14 yr old son, a husband, a great job and a even a new son who will never have to see his Mom use. Recovery is possible if you fight hard enough. If you are breathing right now you have the opportunity to fight for your life!!
Jess is such an inspirational person. Addiction is such a tangled web of emotions and very hard to explain to anyone who has not gone thru it themselves. ♥️ Love you Jess!
I can only imagine how difficult it is to share some of your personal stories. Thank you for all you do Jessica. Your stories & experiences are helping people. Helping people to not feel so alone. Helping families, friends & loved ones of addicts better understand what their going through. Your Real & Raw, simply put, your a Beautiful soul. Keep doing what your doing. Your message is helping people ❤❤❤
I cant even begin to tell you how grateful I am to you for sharing such a raw, open and honest glimpse of what relapse looks like from the addicts perspective. I'm someone who has never experienced this side of addiction firsthand, but I have spent most of my adult life believing that when an addict relapses and does what I saw as "choosing drugs over their family", that it was genuinely a conscious decision to prioritize one over the other. This has been an especially hurtful mindset to carry as my childs' father has continued to relapse and be absent from our lives. I always wondered how he could want drugs more than us and how he could "prefer" that lifestyle. I usually consider myself to be pretty aware and I absolutely cannot believe how insanely ignorant I've been on the subject. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing. My experience comes from an eating disorder rather than substance abuse perspective but I can relate to a lot of what you said. Unfortunately, for a lot of us relapse is a part of recovery. These illnesses aren't easy and sadly, very few people can follow a direct path from sickness to treatment to immediate permanent recovery. Also, this might be overstepping but I'd feel guilty if I didn't say it: A man who puts his hands on you (outside of self-defense) won't only do it once unless he loses access to you. It can pause but it never just stops.
This blatant sexism is killing me. Not ok for the boyfriend to shove her, but she admits to punching him many times? She thinks that is much more acceptable. She is saying pushing her is physical violent. It's not. Extremely rude and disrespectful, but not violent. With all her personal growth, how can she not see this?
Love you, Jess! You’re so inspirational! I’ve been down the road of addiction, after seeing years of my mom struggle with it. Getting arrested for being around the wrong people, and almost getting felony charges for association, is what caused me to change. Thank you for sharing all of your stories with us 💜
Thank god this was a storytime and not a recent update! I’m so proud of all the work you put in to build your life back up after addiction. And I’m also proud of you because I know you’re still fighting and putting in work every day to maintain your sobriety. You’re such a strong and badass woman Jess. Keep up the amazing work! I hope you’re having a good time in NY 😊💗
I’ve never done drugs but I suffer badly with mental illness and recently relapsed into self harm after a few years clean. I just found your channel the other day and your videos really help me as I’m sure they do with anyone struggling with any kind of addiction.
As always, I am moved to tears by your story and experiences. I am so glad that you are using this platform to educate and urge people struggling with addiction to get help. Even when they may think they don’t need it.
You’re saving so many lives by sharing your story Jessica. Thank You. Hoping you’re having a wonderful time with loved ones. Been praying that you will impact people there as well. 💜🙏🏻
You remind me so much of my younger sister and unfortunately she lost her battle so when I saw the title my heart sunk. I am so glad it is just a storytime.
They should show your videos to women in jail. You are so freaking inspiring. Your journey is so relatable to anyone who has struggled with addiction. I love how you share your truth with us, especially when the truth is not pretty.
My mom and dad almost ended their marriage due to the stress my addiction put on their lives. My mom cried every day. It wasn’t until I got sober that I even saw the pain I was putting my family through and if I did see it while I was in active addiction, I didn’t care at all. I would just leave and think “out of sight out of mind.” I’m so happy those days are over
Can you do a video for loved ones of an addict? (How to support them, what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say) I would appreciate this beyond belief. Nevertheless, thank you so much for all of your videos.
Jessica I want to say thank you to you and Reese for these videos. I'm sure you hear this all the time but it's very helpful to hear these stories because it helps me stay in a good frame of mind and deal with my own recovery. Your prison and jail stories keep the idea of going back to federal prison fresh enough in my mind where I am always on point. I just want to say thank you
I’ve relapsed once in my just about 5 years. As you’re doing it, you feel AWFUL!!! For letting people down, for letting yourself down etc. One of my friends just relapsed, I told her recovery isn’t a straight line up, there are bumps along the way. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up until you get to where you want to be! Idk if that made sense, thanks for sharing this story girlie! You’re awesome, love you!! PS I lived in Iowa too! I went to school at university of Iowa in Iowa city 💜💜💜💜
Jessica have you ever thought about doing a video of your own (I loved Jessica's journey) on why some people absolutely hate Suboxone and it works great for others, short term vs long term and just some overall education about it? And maybe Methadone, if that's something you've had experience with. I took it for chronic pain for a short time. I have so much respect for you. You and Christina Randall have opened so many people's hearts and minds to addiction and the injustices of the prision system. So, thank you.
This story has me really feeling bad for Randy, it seemed like he was doing really well until something important to him was gone. I've had the same thing over and over again with my baby momma (lol) she would go use and I had to try to be the hero then end up using too just to be with her. So glad I'm out of toxic relationships. Especially now that I'm 4 years clean.
You are an inspiration, living proof that drug use is a choice, that no matter how hard the addiction, using is ultimately a choice. You’ve been through hell as a result of choices you made and then you made the insanely difficult decision to make better choices and now have a life and a family and the beautiful person that you are shines through. You touch the lives of others and help them in ways you probably can’t even imagine. By selflessly sharing your incredibly personal story with thousands of strangers you are causing people you don’t even know to realize they have a choice. They can end the denial and choose life just like you did. You are amazing.
thx 4 sharing this, i know it isn't easy... the shame at least i carry within my addiction is unlike anything i've ever been thru my entire life, & it always seems like the only release from that enduring pain is to go right back into what we already know is the wrong decision, but u can't see the forest when you're among the trees... i hope 2 be in your shoes someday, but i fear that i may not make it there... good luck 2 all that share this pain
Thanks for your relapse story, Jessica. Relapse is never a requirement, but the fact is that, overall, more recovering addicts experience relapse(s) than don't. What is so important about your story is that if we survive a relapse, we have a chance to start back in recovery again having learned from it. A counselor I once knew had qualified as a "Relapse Specialist". His favorite saying was "It's not okay to relapse, but if you relapse, it's okay"! This may sound a bit strange at first, but there is definitely some wisdom there. Jessica, thanks for all the time, effort and the labor of love you put into your videos to help folks like us. Ken
Relapse is a part of recovery, more often than not. I'm so glad you shared your experience so that other people going through it will know there's still room for betterment and a beautiful life.
You rock! And are such a strong woman for sharing this...I know how hard it is!!! Relapse feels like a fail...to you and everyone around you. But it’s not...it’s reality. And you came back which is the MOST important thing! Much love 💕
I really respect you for posting this I know it must’ve been really hard. But thank you we all love you and appreciate it!! I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished!❤️❤️
Look how many people were worried about you !! I bet that’s an awesome feeling to have so many people care :) that’s really great you deserve all the happiness and caring you can get :)
I am so inspired by you! You will definitely receive great blessings by sharing your story and helping so many ppl!!! You go gurl!!! Love u lots & keep doing what you’re doing!!!!
Please make more videos like this...you have no idea how much these types of videos mean to some people..I’ve rewatched this so many times & this 1 video has gave me so much courage.❤️💪🏼 I wish you’d go into more detail about your relapses and the way they effected you and your loved ones. Love you Jess 💪🏼
The last couple of minutes of this video made me cry. I could just imagine my best friend saying all those words you said. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t see it. He never had a reason to really get sober. Like you.. your daughter.. and so it’s been almost 2,5 years since he passed and I miss him every day. Your videos just give me comfort. They make me feel whole again. He was an amazing person..in spite of it all Jess, this makes me feel there is hope. You’ve proven to me there is hope. It was too late for him but I’m so happy to see that a beautiful person like you, Jess,made it! Amazing. I’m so proud and I don’t even know you. Love your channel and you more than I could ever express xoxo
I had a few years sobriety then relapsed & everything went downhill soo fast, within a month I was holding onto to everything in my life by a thread. After I overdosed for about the 5th time I got myself back into treatment and have been sober ever since. I was so disappointed in myself & ashamed but relapsing really showed me a lot & part of me is glad I did. It helped me understand my triggers better & made me realize I never want to go back to that life again
Thank you so much for sharing this incredibly personal story with us, as hard as it must have been. You are so brave to have had to go through what you have been through, and overcame it nonetheless. And just know that the majority of us will not judge you because you are a different person now and we love you for who you are today.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I’ve def gone through a similar situation. I put my family through so much hell during my active addiction. My mom told me that if I ever relapsed- I would lose her as a mother and be disconnected from the family forever. I’ve really fucked up. I’d rather suffer in silence than lose the only people I love.
I knew it wasn't current because you're in your room and right now you're in New York! Saving this for tomorrow because I squirrel away my Jess vids for when I do dishes. Ily!
I love you so very much this scared me so much I thought you meant now. Glad you are able to express your stories through this platform. You are helping so many people that don’t have a voice to express their traumas/ ptsd. Again, love you so much and I love everything you are doing ❤️
So glad this isn’t recent, and I get to listen to another one of your stories...Love them so much!... I had just about 4yrs this year but stupidly had a slip, and the craziest, shitty thing is I didn’t even go that hard this time, it was like a one day thing... pretty disappointed, but shocked... Thanks for your inspiration 🖤
Not in the least bit shocking. Everyone in recovery has relapsed. It is freeing to hear others’ stories, because I NEVER judge them. Yet it is amazing how much guilt we each live with. But with each story that is shared, I am able to release a little bit of my guilt. I really think holding on to this guilt leads to so many relapses. But addicts helping each other can keep up clean!
I read a book about weed in the 1970s. The most memorable line was about trust. It said, "Don't trust nobody, especially people you know and trust." Good advice, and not just about dope.
Sober life is the best life❤️. Unless you have been an addict it is so hard to understand. I have relapsed but I am loving my life and sobriety! I will never go back to opiates or alcohol. I’m proud of you and feel proud of myself. Thank you for sharing.
How the heck do you add a emoji on to your youtube username ? I've always wanted to do that and I never could because youtube didn't let me. So how'd you put the unicorn emoji on ?
Thanks jess for your video :) relapse is a part of many people's journey. I have had problems with alcohol in the past that cost me a lot of friendships n almost my family. I'm Sober now but I relapsed about 7 months ago after 2 years sober. I relapsed after stopping counselling, I find my alcohol issues are tied into my MH issues (as I'm sure many can relate to). I would just like to say if you are struggling with addiction get a good support network weather it's family or a counsellor or psych, talking and finding out why you drink/ use is so helpful. Love to you all on your journeys ❤
I would also like to add when I'm engaging in CBT once a week, from experience I am much less likely to fall back into old coping mechanisms one of which is drinking. So if possible get yourselves a psychotherapist! Not saying it works for everyone but it does for me :)
Served time in Passaic County Jail and Jones Farm in Ewing NJ was released in 1988. Celebrated 31 years clean and sober this past August. It can be done if you work for it. Good luck in your journey of recovery. I am very grateful to the 12 step programs I attend.
Mad early for once! ❤️ you took me by shock uploading at this hour aha And like everyone else said-the title got me for sure, hence why I clicked so fast. Thought you went to NY and relapsed I was like noooooooo.
Jess I’m so happy this your past n it’s made you the person you are today n I know at times it’s hard to share our past but thanks so much. It will help people that struggle with addiction n relapsing. Stay strong n be safe, keep inspiring me, n others
Being from Iowa, just curious where you went? Totally understand if that’s a detail you don’t wanna share, just hits home 💛 so happy you’ve come as far as you have! You’re a literal rock star.
I have never had to deal with addiction or I have never known anyone with addiction. But watching this makes me think no matter what your struggle is, you shouldn’t judge anyone!! Much love Jessica ❤️💜
First of all - I adore you!!!! And absolutely love your videos. It's extra fun for me to hear some of them because I'm from Binghamton!!! So when you talk about us, deposit and sidney I am familiar with the areas so it gives your stories more life to me. In another video where you did a tour your description of upstate ny was spot on. I believe you pretty much said that a lot of towns in upstate are ghetto cause all of the industry left and they're just sad little towns that are falling apart around everyone. Some towns most deff are the hood. And 90% of small towns upstate have horrible drug issues and my friends and I would always say.... being some of these places so far out and 30min from the closest grocery store and there are no jobs locally nothing to do... people get bored. Especially when you have all this extra time on your hands to learn how to cook meth, or go down to the city coming back and bagging up. So again its always fun to hear little shout outs to upstate and your description was head on. Cant wait to watch more! ❤
i recently lost a friend, 18 years old, to hard drug addiction. its such a horrible thing. I wish i would have done more to help her or to try to pull her out. but like you said im not sure she thought she even had a problem. thank you for sharing your story. I really hope that other addicts see this and know that they arent alone and that it isnt impossible. thankyou.
Love you girl! Your videos are so amazing and inspiring to Me. My fiancé is in prison and struggles with addiction so your videos really help me understand kinda what’s going on with him and how I can help him😊 me and him have a 19 month old baby girl together and then he has 2 bonus kids(my babies from before I got with him)
My best friend became a heroin addict. He’s in jail and I can’t get through to him. He calls me three times a day and we talk for a total of 30 minutes. Yet it feels like I haven’t said a word to him because you just can’t tell him he has a problem. He’s 21. Legal system where we live doesn’t do jack shit and just keeps putting him on probation no matter how many crimes and violations he stacks up. And then once he has a warrant, nobody comes looking for him. I don’t know what to do and I hope there’s a light at the end but myself and his family believe he’s going to die. Seeing how you have recovered gives me so much hope for him but I know it’s going to be a long journey
I’m glad I didn’t experience the “jump scare” that a lot of folks did when they saw the title (somehow I saw the “storytime” part and figured it was past tense, like other storytimes...glad my eyes were quicker than my emotions. I totally could’ve made the same leap).
Jessica, I'm glad your not beating yourself up. I was a social worker for children and young people and I take it as given that people can relapse. This DOES NOT mean they failed but need extra support.
So much respect & love for you n randy's journey. Coming from a recovering heroin addict I understand how hard it all is to change that lifestyle. I really hope n wish you the absolute best. Stay strong randy 🙏🤝
Something that has been knocking around in my brain since I watched this post yesterday: I noticed lots of people expressing fear or relief regarding the title and thinking that the post was going to be a story of a recent or current relapse. I just want to say that, had that been the case, there would have been ZERO judgment or shaming thrown at you from this subscriber, and I'm certain that's true for many/most of your other viewers. When I saw the title yesterday, I vaguely had the idea that maybe the post would be about a recent relapse, maybe one from a long time ago. I wasn't alarmed, either way. My opinion of you isn't rooted in whether or not you "stay sober", and I know that others feel the same way. We say it all the time: Relapse is part of recovery. Even if it DID happen now, when you've accomplished so much, made a life based on your sobriety, you wouldn't be a failure, or worthless, or a bad person, or a hypocrite, or incapable of regaining your sobriety. It's YOUR sobriety. It BELONGS to you. The same goes for anyone else here who stumbles when they're living a life they've worked so hard for in sobriety. All those old companions (shame, self-hatred, embarrassment) would, no doubt, show up, louder and stronger than they'd ever been, doing their best to make us believe their version of the "truth" about ourselves: "I knew this would happen. I'm just not made for sobriety. What a worthless piece of ish. I can't tell anyone! I'll lose everything! I can use and keep everything together...God, I hate myself. It'll be fine." And their lies make so much sense, and they'll keep us from reaching out to get what is OURS: our precious sobriety, the support of those who love us and will help. Ten, twenty, even thirty years sober doesn't make any of us immune to relapse, and that has to be part of our truth, with NO SHAME allowed to be attached to it. Addiction is a killer. Fear and Shame are, as well. We have every right to tell 'em all to f-right OFF.
Y'all clicked so fast the title change didn't save in time lol Sorry!
Done been giving me a heart attack I clicked too fast
Damn. My heart sunk! Thank god
Cause you're awesome!
Jessica Kent It’s all good.🖤
Ms. Jess yikes!
Glad it's just a story time.
❤
Relapse is part of my journey. On August 2nd I will celebrate 2 years clean and sober. Thank you for your honesty and integrity.
Well done you. That's amazing ❤ I think it is a part of everyone's journey, you got back on track, that's what matters! X
2 years! 👍👍👍
That's an impressive milestone! 👍
Congratulations! Well done!
💜💘💜💘💜
Thank you all! It has been the hardest two years of my life. No “pink cloud” here!
Congrats girl🎉🎉
Congratulations! That's amazing! 🎉
Regarding relapse, the smartest thing my sponsor ever told me...It is this simple, "Fall down seven times, get up eight." I too believe that relapse is just part and parcel in some people's recovery. And I was sooooo lucky to have a sponsor who never, ever, shamed me for it. I did not loose all that time clean and all those tools of recovery just because I relapsed. What I did loose though was the "fun" I used to get out of using. Once I had some real clean time under my belt, using just was never the same for me again.
Jes, when you said you had thought about not including hurting those you care about in your story, I almost clicked away--not because of you, but because it triggered my own shame. It's literally paralyzing at times. THANK YOU for taking the harder path by including such a painful memory. Your willingness to show such difficult parts of your life experience plants a seed of the idea in some of us that maybe we're not the horrible, worthless f-ups we think we are. Maybe we aren't alone. It's the most powerful gift. Thank you so much.
hummingbird hobo well said girl!
💯💯💯💯💯💯🖤
hummingbird hobo aye, same. If I acknowledge her shame, should I acknowledge my own?
Girllll! I saw the title and almost died! So thankful this is a storytime and not current!
right there with you..
I was thinking the same thing..thank God it's a past story
Alley Watson what was the title??
Same!!!
@@stone8654 I wouldn't judge her if it was current. It is well known that relapse tends to be a part of the recovery process. I truly believe she is strong and wise enough to learn from such a mistake and not use it as an excuse to fall all the way down again. She's come too far. But even the best of us mess up sometimes. It's ok, as long as you don't make excuses.
This video shows the importance of having more supporting people in life.
I had a big problem with relapsing when I was bored or angry. If I get angry I would relapse to hide my feelings. If I was bored I would relapse. I also had a big problem with the act of doing it. Been clean for just over 2 years now.
I’m from Iowa!! The heroin problem here is huuuuge!! Been sober 147 days!!
Proud of your strength everyday!
We got sober around the same time 234days for me ❤❤❤
yes, girl. me too. proud of your sobriety, just hit a year. 💙💙💙 congratulations!
I am happy for everyone thats sober...am on day 1...spice is a bitch!
@@marklesparkle5882 what is spice? Is that the synthetic marijuana??? I didn't know you could actually get addicted to that stuff? I saw a lot of people when I worked in the ER who had taken spice and freaked out or threw off their electrolytes taking that stuff.
I got clean because I “NEEDED” to.. relapsing is what made me actually WANT to get clean. I really think those feelings are a necessary part of fully recovering. Hang in there, always!
I hope Randys son is doing well and thriving in life. He deserves it.
He’s not
I can completely relate. Relapse was for sure part of my story. I hurt every single person in my life including my child. I know what you mean by "your moment". My moment was the phone call to tell me my brother's battle with addiction was over because he was found dead and alone in a motel. In the addiction will take every single thing from us and that was the last thing i allowed it to take from me. I have 7.5 years clean, regained custody of my child and I fight every day to make it up to my son. I have my now 14 yr old son, a husband, a great job and a even a new son who will never have to see his Mom use. Recovery is possible if you fight hard enough. If you are breathing right now you have the opportunity to fight for your life!!
Alisha G congrats on your progress on your journey!
Congrats on being sober!! 💕 every happy part in your life you deserve 100%!!
Jess is such an inspirational person. Addiction is such a tangled web of emotions and very hard to explain to anyone who has not gone thru it themselves. ♥️ Love you Jess!
Oh yeah this is how I found you lol
Very strange seeing this comment from radiant Britt given the state of things
Notice that nothing is ever her fault. THEY moved and cost her the job. THEY wouldn’t let her do suboxone.
This is very real, relapse happens. It doesn't have too but it does. I have been there. Thank you for sharing!
I can only imagine how difficult it is to share some of your personal stories. Thank you for all you do Jessica. Your stories & experiences are helping people. Helping people to not feel so alone. Helping families, friends & loved ones of addicts better understand what their going through. Your Real & Raw, simply put, your a Beautiful soul. Keep doing what your doing. Your message is helping people ❤❤❤
Jess!! That title though! Got me scared for a hot minute. Thanks for all your honesty. Love you friend!! ❤🧡❤🧡
I cant even begin to tell you how grateful I am to you for sharing such a raw, open and honest glimpse of what relapse looks like from the addicts perspective. I'm someone who has never experienced this side of addiction firsthand, but I have spent most of my adult life believing that when an addict relapses and does what I saw as "choosing drugs over their family", that it was genuinely a conscious decision to prioritize one over the other. This has been an especially hurtful mindset to carry as my childs' father has continued to relapse and be absent from our lives. I always wondered how he could want drugs more than us and how he could "prefer" that lifestyle. I usually consider myself to be pretty aware and I absolutely cannot believe how insanely ignorant I've been on the subject. Thank you so much.
I saw the title and my heart jumped! Ok, now I’ve calmed down and I’m hitting play. Love you and hope you’re having a good time in NY! 🖤
Thank you for sharing. My experience comes from an eating disorder rather than substance abuse perspective but I can relate to a lot of what you said. Unfortunately, for a lot of us relapse is a part of recovery. These illnesses aren't easy and sadly, very few people can follow a direct path from sickness to treatment to immediate permanent recovery.
Also, this might be overstepping but I'd feel guilty if I didn't say it: A man who puts his hands on you (outside of self-defense) won't only do it once unless he loses access to you. It can pause but it never just stops.
This blatant sexism is killing me. Not ok for the boyfriend to shove her, but she admits to punching him many times? She thinks that is much more acceptable.
She is saying pushing her is physical violent. It's not. Extremely rude and disrespectful, but not violent. With all her personal growth, how can she not see this?
perfect timinggggg I've been craving a new video!!! I love your videos so much babe
Love you, Jess! You’re so inspirational! I’ve been down the road of addiction, after seeing years of my mom struggle with it. Getting arrested for being around the wrong people, and almost getting felony charges for association, is what caused me to change. Thank you for sharing all of your stories with us 💜
Thank god this was a storytime and not a recent update! I’m so proud of all the work you put in to build your life back up after addiction. And I’m also proud of you because I know you’re still fighting and putting in work every day to maintain your sobriety. You’re such a strong and badass woman Jess. Keep up the amazing work! I hope you’re having a good time in NY 😊💗
I’ve never done drugs but I suffer badly with mental illness and recently relapsed into self harm after a few years clean. I just found your channel the other day and your videos really help me as I’m sure they do with anyone struggling with any kind of addiction.
It’s a kind of addiction too isn’t it? 😢
As always, I am moved to tears by your story and experiences. I am so glad that you are using this platform to educate and urge people struggling with addiction to get help. Even when they may think they don’t need it.
Much respect for you getting sober and turning your life around wish ya luck and best of wishes
You’re saving so many lives by sharing your story Jessica. Thank You. Hoping you’re having a wonderful time with loved ones. Been praying that you will impact people there as well. 💜🙏🏻
You remind me so much of my younger sister and unfortunately she lost her battle so when I saw the title my heart sunk. I am so glad it is just a storytime.
am i the only one that knew the title was def not about a current experience? lol. great video! :*
princess strawberryrainbow no I assumed it was a story time lol
They should show your videos to women in jail. You are so freaking inspiring. Your journey is so relatable to anyone who has struggled with addiction. I love how you share your truth with us, especially when the truth is not pretty.
My mom and dad almost ended their marriage due to the stress my addiction put on their lives. My mom cried every day. It wasn’t until I got sober that I even saw the pain I was putting my family through and if I did see it while I was in active addiction, I didn’t care at all. I would just leave and think “out of sight out of mind.” I’m so happy those days are over
Can you do a video for loved ones of an addict? (How to support them, what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say)
I would appreciate this beyond belief.
Nevertheless, thank you so much for all of your videos.
Jessica I want to say thank you to you and Reese for these videos. I'm sure you hear this all the time but it's very helpful to hear these stories because it helps me stay in a good frame of mind and deal with my own recovery. Your prison and jail stories keep the idea of going back to federal prison fresh enough in my mind where I am always on point. I just want to say thank you
I’ve relapsed once in my just about 5 years. As you’re doing it, you feel AWFUL!!! For letting people down, for letting yourself down etc. One of my friends just relapsed, I told her recovery isn’t a straight line up, there are bumps along the way. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up until you get to where you want to be! Idk if that made sense, thanks for sharing this story girlie! You’re awesome, love you!!
PS I lived in Iowa too! I went to school at university of Iowa in Iowa city 💜💜💜💜
Jessica have you ever thought about doing a video of your own (I loved Jessica's journey) on why some people absolutely hate Suboxone and it works great for others, short term vs long term and just some overall education about it?
And maybe Methadone, if that's something you've had experience with. I took it for chronic pain for a short time. I have so much respect for you. You and Christina Randall have opened so many people's hearts and minds to addiction and the injustices of the prision system. So, thank you.
This story has me really feeling bad for Randy, it seemed like he was doing really well until something important to him was gone. I've had the same thing over and over again with my baby momma (lol) she would go use and I had to try to be the hero then end up using too just to be with her. So glad I'm out of toxic relationships. Especially now that I'm 4 years clean.
You are an inspiration, living proof that drug use is a choice, that no matter how hard the addiction, using is ultimately a choice. You’ve been through hell as a result of choices you made and then you made the insanely difficult decision to make better choices and now have a life and a family and the beautiful person that you are shines through. You touch the lives of others and help them in ways you probably can’t even imagine. By selflessly sharing your incredibly personal story with thousands of strangers you are causing people you don’t even know to realize they have a choice. They can end the denial and choose life just like you did. You are amazing.
thx 4 sharing this, i know it isn't easy... the shame at least i carry within my addiction is unlike anything i've ever been thru my entire life, & it always seems like the only release from that enduring pain is to go right back into what we already know is the wrong decision, but u can't see the forest when you're among the trees... i hope 2 be in your shoes someday, but i fear that i may not make it there... good luck 2 all that share this pain
Thanks for your relapse story, Jessica. Relapse is never a requirement, but the fact is that, overall, more recovering addicts experience relapse(s) than don't. What is so important about your story is that if we survive a relapse, we have a chance to start back in recovery again having learned from it. A counselor I once knew had qualified as a "Relapse Specialist". His favorite saying was "It's not okay to relapse, but if you relapse, it's okay"! This may sound a bit strange at first, but there is definitely some wisdom there.
Jessica, thanks for all the time, effort and the labor of love you put into your videos to help folks like us.
Ken
Relapse is a part of recovery, more often than not. I'm so glad you shared your experience so that other people going through it will know there's still room for betterment and a beautiful life.
Never ok to put your hands on anyone
You rock! And are such a strong woman for sharing this...I know how hard it is!!! Relapse feels like a fail...to you and everyone around you. But it’s not...it’s reality. And you came back which is the MOST important thing! Much love 💕
I really respect you for posting this I know it must’ve been really hard. But thank you we all love you and appreciate it!! I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished!❤️❤️
Look how many people were worried about you !! I bet that’s an awesome feeling to have so many people care :) that’s really great you deserve all the happiness and caring you can get :)
I am so inspired by you! You will definitely receive great blessings by sharing your story and helping so many ppl!!! You go gurl!!! Love u lots & keep doing what you’re doing!!!!
Please make more videos like this...you have no idea how much these types of videos mean to some people..I’ve rewatched this so many times & this 1 video has gave me so much courage.❤️💪🏼 I wish you’d go into more detail about your relapses and the way they effected you and your loved ones. Love you Jess 💪🏼
The last couple of minutes of this video made me cry. I could just imagine my best friend saying all those words you said. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t see it. He never had a reason to really get sober. Like you.. your daughter.. and so it’s been almost 2,5 years since he passed and I miss him every day. Your videos just give me comfort. They make me feel whole again. He was an amazing person..in spite of it all Jess, this makes me feel there is hope. You’ve proven to me there is hope. It was too late for him but I’m so happy to see that a beautiful person like you, Jess,made it! Amazing. I’m so proud and I don’t even know you.
Love your channel and you more than I could ever express xoxo
Nurse Rachel Thank you very much. 😘 but it’s so good to see Jess and how fantastic she is doing! ❤️
I really appreciate you sharing your story we are so worried about my Sister listening to you keeps Hope alive
I love you Jess!! I’m so proud of you
I had a few years sobriety then relapsed & everything went downhill soo fast, within a month I was holding onto to everything in my life by a thread. After I overdosed for about the 5th time I got myself back into treatment and have been sober ever since. I was so disappointed in myself & ashamed but relapsing really showed me a lot & part of me is glad I did. It helped me understand my triggers better & made me realize I never want to go back to that life again
Thank you so much for sharing this incredibly personal story with us, as hard as it must have been. You are so brave to have had to go through what you have been through, and overcame it nonetheless. And just know that the majority of us will not judge you because you are a different person now and we love you for who you are today.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I’ve def gone through a similar situation. I put my family through so much hell during my active addiction. My mom told me that if I ever relapsed- I would lose her as a mother and be disconnected from the family forever. I’ve really fucked up. I’d rather suffer in silence than lose the only people I love.
I knew it wasn't current because you're in your room and right now you're in New York! Saving this for tomorrow because I squirrel away my Jess vids for when I do dishes. Ily!
I love you so very much this scared me so much I thought you meant now. Glad you are able to express your stories through this platform. You are helping so many people that don’t have a voice to express their traumas/ ptsd. Again, love you so much and I love everything you are doing ❤️
So glad this isn’t recent, and I get to listen to another one of your stories...Love them so much!... I had just about 4yrs this year but stupidly had a slip, and the craziest, shitty thing is I didn’t even go that hard this time, it was like a one day thing... pretty disappointed, but shocked... Thanks for your inspiration 🖤
Great story girl! You are helping so many people Jess, this is your calling. Such an inspiration to addicts!💗🔥
I swear I love watching your vids before bed, it helps calm me down and I usually knock out by the end of your vid.. in a good way!! 💛💛💛💛 XOXO
Oh, girl you scared me. What a title. Now you give people hope that people with addiction can change 💜
Not in the least bit shocking. Everyone in recovery has relapsed. It is freeing to hear others’ stories, because I NEVER judge them. Yet it is amazing how much guilt we each live with. But with each story that is shared, I am able to release a little bit of my guilt. I really think holding on to this guilt leads to so many relapses. But addicts helping each other can keep up clean!
Thank you for being so candid and vulnerable. I really appreciated this video! 🕊✨
I read a book about weed in the 1970s. The most memorable line was about trust. It said, "Don't trust nobody, especially people you know and trust." Good advice, and not just about dope.
i almost cried!!! but i also knew you’re better than that now 💞i love you, continue to do great!!
Rx QUEEN girl i never meant any harm
Girl, this video speaks deeply to my soul. Thank you so much for putting this here.
You are such a strong woman. So much love and respect for you ❤
Sober life is the best life❤️. Unless you have been an addict it is so hard to understand. I have relapsed but I am loving my life and sobriety! I will never go back to opiates or alcohol. I’m proud of you and feel proud of myself. Thank you for sharing.
How the heck do you add a emoji on to your youtube username ? I've always wanted to do that and I never could because youtube didn't let me. So how'd you put the unicorn emoji on ?
Thank you for sharing Jess! I am sure this story will help many people in one way or another! xoxo
I assumed you where talking about in the past....already knew you where not talking about recently, your head space is just to good right now!
Thanks jess for your video :) relapse is a part of many people's journey. I have had problems with alcohol in the past that cost me a lot of friendships n almost my family. I'm Sober now but I relapsed about 7 months ago after 2 years sober. I relapsed after stopping counselling, I find my alcohol issues are tied into my MH issues (as I'm sure many can relate to). I would just like to say if you are struggling with addiction get a good support network weather it's family or a counsellor or psych, talking and finding out why you drink/ use is so helpful. Love to you all on your journeys ❤
I would also like to add when I'm engaging in CBT once a week, from experience I am much less likely to fall back into old coping mechanisms one of which is drinking. So if possible get yourselves a psychotherapist! Not saying it works for everyone but it does for me :)
💚💙so funny christina worked at bath and body works too! Love your story times babe!🖤
jess i love these stories so much and they truly help me. i’m one month sober and you’re one of my biggest inspirations ❤❤
Love ❤ this Jess! Important message! Thanks for sharing
Just found your videos you are such an inspiration and have helped me immensely thank you for putting yourself out there.
Not having work is rough. I left a city to avoid the temptation to sell drugs.
Served time in Passaic County Jail and Jones Farm in Ewing NJ was released in 1988. Celebrated 31 years clean and sober this past August. It can be done if you work for it. Good luck in your journey of recovery. I am very grateful to the 12 step programs I attend.
Mad early for once! ❤️ you took me by shock uploading at this hour aha
And like everyone else said-the title got me for sure, hence why I clicked so fast. Thought you went to NY and relapsed I was like noooooooo.
Really great story time. Appreciate the honesty. I hope you’re enjoying NY
Seeing the title I was terrified for you girl! Addiction is a struggle no matter how long your clean time! Stay sober everyone.
Jess I’m so happy this your past n it’s made you the person you are today n I know at times it’s hard to share our past but thanks so much. It will help people that struggle with addiction n relapsing. Stay strong n be safe, keep inspiring me, n others
Being from Iowa, just curious where you went? Totally understand if that’s a detail you don’t wanna share, just hits home 💛 so happy you’ve come as far as you have! You’re a literal rock star.
I'm from Iowa too! If you don't wanna share that's okay, but I'm from Grundy Center and live in Cedar Falls
I have never had to deal with addiction or I have never known anyone with addiction. But watching this makes me think no matter what your struggle is, you shouldn’t judge anyone!! Much love Jessica ❤️💜
Jess you are so inspiring. Not to be sap but some of your videos and emotions almost have me in tears. ♡♡♡
First of all - I adore you!!!! And absolutely love your videos. It's extra fun for me to hear some of them because I'm from Binghamton!!! So when you talk about us, deposit and sidney I am familiar with the areas so it gives your stories more life to me. In another video where you did a tour your description of upstate ny was spot on. I believe you pretty much said that a lot of towns in upstate are ghetto cause all of the industry left and they're just sad little towns that are falling apart around everyone. Some towns most deff are the hood. And 90% of small towns upstate have horrible drug issues and my friends and I would always say.... being some of these places so far out and 30min from the closest grocery store and there are no jobs locally nothing to do... people get bored. Especially when you have all this extra time on your hands to learn how to cook meth, or go down to the city coming back and bagging up. So again its always fun to hear little shout outs to upstate and your description was head on. Cant wait to watch more! ❤
Gurl I've relapsed so many times. The most recent time I was sober I was clean for 2 years and half until I relapsed. But you're so inspirational!
i recently lost a friend, 18 years old, to hard drug addiction. its such a horrible thing. I wish i would have done more to help her or to try to pull her out. but like you said im not sure she thought she even had a problem. thank you for sharing your story. I really hope that other addicts see this and know that they arent alone and that it isnt impossible. thankyou.
Notification squad I love your videos and you sharing your story thank you
Damn girl. My heart stopped a minute. I was like,hold up kids, wait a minute. Mom got some business to handle.... I’m happy it’s just storytime
Love you girl! Your videos are so amazing and inspiring to Me. My fiancé is in prison and struggles with addiction so your videos really help me understand kinda what’s going on with him and how I can help him😊 me and him have a 19 month old baby girl together and then he has 2 bonus kids(my babies from before I got with him)
Hope your doing okay now! And i hope your future husband... (Idk if your married now lol) is outta prison 🙏❤
OMG @JessicaKent I just saw this title pop up on my phone and it scared the shit outta me! Lol
My best friend became a heroin addict. He’s in jail and I can’t get through to him. He calls me three times a day and we talk for a total of 30 minutes. Yet it feels like I haven’t said a word to him because you just can’t tell him he has a problem. He’s 21. Legal system where we live doesn’t do jack shit and just keeps putting him on probation no matter how many crimes and violations he stacks up. And then once he has a warrant, nobody comes looking for him. I don’t know what to do and I hope there’s a light at the end but myself and his family believe he’s going to die. Seeing how you have recovered gives me so much hope for him but I know it’s going to be a long journey
I’m glad I didn’t experience the “jump scare” that a lot of folks did when they saw the title (somehow I saw the “storytime” part and figured it was past tense, like other storytimes...glad my eyes were quicker than my emotions. I totally could’ve made the same leap).
Jessica, I'm glad your not beating yourself up. I was a social worker for children and young people and I take it as given that people can relapse. This DOES NOT mean they failed but need extra support.
Thank you for opening up and sharing. 💕
I just found you 3 weeks Ago... i am a recovering addict. Been clean for 3 months
Your videos help me a little
Keep up
You don't sucks everything that happens to you just makes you stronger we love you as you are
Oh Jess 💜 Your pain was so palpable in this video 😢
yas biiiiitch notification squad just got off work I love hearing you speak!!!!
So much respect & love for you n randy's journey. Coming from a recovering heroin addict I understand how hard it all is to change that lifestyle. I really hope n wish you the absolute best. Stay strong randy 🙏🤝
Something that has been knocking around in my brain since I watched this post yesterday: I noticed lots of people expressing fear or relief regarding the title and thinking that the post was going to be a story of a recent or current relapse. I just want to say that, had that been the case, there would have been ZERO judgment or shaming thrown at you from this subscriber, and I'm certain that's true for many/most of your other viewers. When I saw the title yesterday, I vaguely had the idea that maybe the post would be about a recent relapse, maybe one from a long time ago. I wasn't alarmed, either way. My opinion of you isn't rooted in whether or not you "stay sober", and I know that others feel the same way. We say it all the time: Relapse is part of recovery. Even if it DID happen now, when you've accomplished so much, made a life based on your sobriety, you wouldn't be a failure, or worthless, or a bad person, or a hypocrite, or incapable of regaining your sobriety. It's YOUR sobriety. It BELONGS to you. The same goes for anyone else here who stumbles when they're living a life they've worked so hard for in sobriety. All those old companions (shame, self-hatred, embarrassment) would, no doubt, show up, louder and stronger than they'd ever been, doing their best to make us believe their version of the "truth" about ourselves: "I knew this would happen. I'm just not made for sobriety. What a worthless piece of ish. I can't tell anyone! I'll lose everything! I can use and keep everything together...God, I hate myself. It'll be fine." And their lies make so much sense, and they'll keep us from reaching out to get what is OURS: our precious sobriety, the support of those who love us and will help. Ten, twenty, even thirty years sober doesn't make any of us immune to relapse, and that has to be part of our truth, with NO SHAME allowed to be attached to it. Addiction is a killer. Fear and Shame are, as well. We have every right to tell 'em all to f-right OFF.
Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy for your success and totally rooting for you! 🥰
I am in recovery as well. What you are doing is so very brave and awesome and amazing. You are getting the story out there... We DO recover❤️❤️❤️