THIS is gentle parenting. It’s parenting but not screaming. Gentle parenting does NOT mean you tell your child not to do things and then do NOTHING to enforce it. Instead of screaming, you speak softly. Instead of getting angry, you stay calm. Reassuring, loving, kind, and definitely not as scary as some parents are. You are gentle but you still make sure they know and do what you want. This is the right way to treat and raise children. 👏👏👏👏
It’s just parenting… why do people think that if you parent without screaming you are a gentle parent… why do people think that the options are gentle parenting or being a dictator…
@@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478 It’s not just because she didn’t scream. Did you see how she treated her kid? When I was growing up I sure as hell wasn’t treated like this. If I cried for any reason they’d say “stop crying before I give you a reason to cry.” and blamed me for things I couldn’t do. They expected me to be perfect yet here she is gentle and makes sure that not only her kid does what she wants but that it ends in peace and not war
@@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478it's actually not how the majority parents. It only has a name *because* it's not how most parent their kids. If it was common it wouldn't be named.
Really patient, but the point that the boy can't express his anger freely and is immediately shut down. The strategy to get him from crying and telling him "if you can't ne nice, you have to sit there and take a break out till you're nice again" sends him the message that everytime he cries, he's not nice. Kids are always nice, even if they cry. "I understand you, baby, you don't want to go to sleep. It's okay that you cry and I give you an extra hug. What I see, is that you are really tired. Let's read a book together in your bed, and I will stay with you, until you're asleep. I will hold you safe in my arm!" That's what I was missing in the conversation with this poor tired boy, trying to express his feelings, that actually aren't heard.
I think that during the cut there may have been something that “wasn’t nice”. I know from experience that toddlers tend to flail around and hit when they’re upset or uncomfortable. So that might have happened in the cut. I think she did a good job to calm him down gently (which is what all kids need in this situation) while also upholding her authority as a parent. At this age, exercising authority is very important to build a strong foundation for the future. It’s very easy for toddler parents to accidentally fall down a slippery slope of either authoritarian or negligence when it comes to their child’s behavior. I think she’s doing a phenomenal job especially when she explains the routine and gives him a choice of which music to play. It gives him agency while adhering to the routine he needs. She lets him feel his emotions then helps him regulate so he can solve the root cause of the problem (tiredness).
I always gave my kids a book or quiet toy if they didn't want to nap. they could look at the pictures and have quiet time. They eventually got bored and fell asleep and on the occasion they didn't, they still had "rest" and quiet time.
I have to do the same with my son. He's just like me and RARELY naps unless he's sick or pushes himself to the limit. But he is gonna have some quiet time and rest, regardless.
A child is not allowed to do everything, BUT it is allowed to show all its feelings. Be there for your children with warmth and attention and allow them to cry and feel bad!! This makes them feel loved, unconditionally. The child in this video is only 2, impulse control is only learnt by toddlers from the age of 4. All he is learning here is to suppress his feelings because otherwise he will have to expect a withdrawal of love (time out). Teach him to understand and process his "negative" feelings instead of forbidding him to be sad/angry! 🙏🏻 That would help him so much more for his adult life.
I agree. I don't have kids, but I think it's perfectly ok to let him just cry it out for a few minutes. I can try to ask him what he wants like she does here, but I doubt I'll understand what he's saying if I haven't been around him much. But I would give him a hug and maybe he can help me figure out what he wants. Maybe all he wants is a hug. I wouldn't tell him to be 'nice'. He wasn't being mean. He was just crying. That's probably normal for a baby his age.
@@SunYi-fi1is I agree that he needs to experience the sadness because if he isn't allowed to, I think it can cause physical problems in his body later in life.
This is wonderful. Children are learning that their perspective and positive outlook will make life a fantastic experience. This young mum is reinforcing emotional intelligence....so important to the development of the child and to the family and broader community as he grows into adulthood. ✨✨✨
Very well done. It also helps the child to identify that he's tired and he'll likely feel better after his nap. His tiredness may well be the reason he had the moodiness in the first place. ❤
I am a professional nanny of 15 years, and there were two things that I really didn’t agree w here. 1. Suppressing the child’s feeling by MAKING him smile. It is important that he can freely let the people that he trusts know when he isn’t happy about something. Your method may work now, but as they get older, they are being ‘taught’ to become good manipulators - i.e., lying, hiding things, always making themselves look like the “good guy” on the outside. 2. When it comes to nap time, a consequence in the form of a punishment such as time-out is NOT the way. Nap time should be considered no different than brushing their teeth, eating their meals, going out to the park, washing hands, etc. My advice. Don’t underestimate his ability to understand you. COMMUNICATE your routine w him throughout the day. I do this on our way to/back the outing of the day, or sometimes while they’re eating lunch. And pretty soon they will recite the routine back to you. Children DON’T like surprises. So if nap time is talked about together in advance, I promise it will be a seamless process for both mom and child. I loved that you gave him autonomy to choose the music he wanted! My kiddos help me fill-up their “heavy”water bottles, and then they take it to their crib. And they love having that responsibility!
You are right. Every emotion should explored rather than discounted. Telling him to smile was a discount even if meant well. Discounts can cause children and adults later in life to have dysregulated emotions. I think she want trying to use bedtime as a punishment, but was trying to show how bad behavior can be explained due to being tired. But, yeah, she could have separated out the behavior consequence element from the nap element.
I love the way this young mum gets down to her child’s level and speaks in a warm way. Love her giving her child some options so her child feels they have some choice, some degree of autonomy, particularly when they obviously don’t want to take a nap. Love the comforting rituals she has built into nap time so bub feels they have something to look forward to. But this is not a tantrum. None of us like being told what to do. We struggle with this as adults. We struggle with big difficult feelings as adults - disappointment, frustration, anger. But at this young age the child is encouraged to deny how they feel and put on a “happy face.” The child is simply reacting to something he doesn’t want to do. His crying is the result of what he is feeling in the moment. His feelings aren’t good or bad. They just are. Labelling them as “not nice” and not allowing their expression tells this child that certain emotions are unacceptable. We have an emotional repertoire for a reason. This invalidation of how her child feels is not healthy for a child’s emotional development. It may well create problems down the line. I am speaking from experience. I have used this approach. You end up with compliant children and life seems easier and people complement you on how good your children are and what a wonderful mother you must be but these children can grow into adult people pleasers who have trouble identifying, trusting, accepting and processing their emotions.
I have to agree I don’t think she should have told the child to smile. You shouldn’t force an expression (and the implied emotion) on a child that small. They can feel what they feel and express it in a healthy way.
Honestly its all about the buy in! The little characters with the music box is SUCH a game changing idea, and there are so many ways to implement something similar whether its music on a tablet or alexa, a star projector, LED lights and they get to choose the colour, picking their jammies or blanket or stuffies or book to read etc etc
Teaching him to 'be nice or he'll have to sit in time out" is a perfect recipe to create a people pleaser. Engage the child in their emotion. Don't threaten them
Exactly! It implies: "mom is only comfortable with happy feelings. You're not allowed to be sad." My mother used to scream at me to stop crying when I was upset. Thankful that this lady doesn't scream at her kids, but punishing them for being sad isn't much better. I don't speak with my mother anymore. I teach my kids that it's OK to be sad!
I think it’s more about teaching kids that even when they’re sad they can’t cross boundaries. That’s healthy emotional growth. Even when you’re sad you cannot hurt others. I think that’s what that meant.
@@TaruJL That actually stifles emotional development and authentic self expression in the child bc they come to fear repercussions. The healthiest method is to help the child process their emotions and deescalate it w patient conversation and presence.
@@MiladeOliveiraGaia That of course, but I still think it’s important to teach a child that when big emotions happen, they shouldn’t hit others. And this is the most effective when you go through this when the child is calm.
Those cries. In the moment they make you want to pop, but even now with 2 under 2 hearing river cry made me sad but also smile a little knowing one day ill miss these moments and would give anything to be hear again. The cries of a baby/toddler are innocent and frustrated, confused. They need help and thats OUR purpose. I have to be reminded of that often❤
When I'm sad, I want to be sad and not have to put on a smile. Then I only learn that my true emotion is not respected, and therefore my true self. In other words, not me. I learn to be fake because people want me to be fake. Moreover, I want to apologize when I want to apologize because I have understood the extent of your emotions. That way I only learn to become a reactive puppet that can't understand or think for itself. And time out in the corner means: I neglect to show you how to regulate yourself by calming and regulating us both, but instead send you away so that you develop so much fear and sadness in loneliness that in future you just swallow everything and keep quiet instead of learning, understanding or processing. And again, not eye level, but a puppet. None of that is healthy.
Actually if kids don't need a nap, they shouldn't be forced to nap. This is them saying their body does not NEED NAPS NO MATTER HOW NICE OR CALM OR IF YOUR ANGRILY SAYING IT. THEY DO NOT NEED TO NAP SO THEY SHOULD BE MADE OUT ACCORDINGLY TO EACH CHILD
@@Dinhi-gq9rb Lol what? It's the opposite. Kids get moody and cry and throw tantrums about naptime BECAUSE they need a nap. These are all signs of being overly tired. If they don't have the nap the entire evening will be filled with cranky meltdowns from being overtired. And a lot of the time it ends up with them having a bad night's sleep, too. Naps are crucial for children. Their brains are growing and developing so much they need sleep. And even if they somehow don't fall asleep, quiet time in their room laying in bed listening to music is good for their nervous system. Constant stimulation all day long is bad for everyone. But 99.9% of the time the kid will fall asleep if they are laying in their bed in the dark. I worked in childcare for over ten years with dozens of different kids from different families. Their parents told me some were great nappers and others weren't. Guess what? Every kid I ever watched napped at naptime. I have a 100% naptime success rate. Even the stubborn kids. I know I can't make them sleep, but I can make them stay in their rooms for all of naptime in the dark with music or a noise machine going. And they always end up falling asleep. You just have to be consistent and make staying in their rooms during naptime not optional.
It's so interesting watching different cultures do stuff. We put the baby on our back and carry on doing life. They cry a bit, fall asleep, and we lay them down.
@delicate1 we are a communal culture so it's pretty rare for mums to be alone with their kids. There's usually some relative or the other who is around also taking care of the child.
@@vbk9697 I love that and I wish more people in the industrial countries did that. We also always had our baby in a carry scarf or whatever it's called. And I know some other parents here in Germany who use that as well. It's not completely uncommom.😊
This is such a helpful video! I can only imagine how hard it is to stay calm when your child is crying, she does such a great job not matching their emotions and encouraging them. Gosh I learned so much from this sweet lady! Thank you for being brave enough to post the tough times too.
Actually if kids don't need a nap, they shouldn't be forced to nap. This is them saying their body does not NEED NAPS NO MATTER HOW NICE OR CALM OR IF YOUR ANGRILY SAYING IT. THEY DO NOT NEED TO NAP SO THEY SHOULD BE MADE OUT ACCORDINGLY TO EACH CHILD
@@Dinhi-gq9rb It is okay for people to have different opinions. The capitalized screaming text is not necessary here. Let's remember to be kind and respect each other online. This sweet mom can make different parenting choices from yours and both are ok. I think she does a beautiful job being a parent, and if you disagree, that is also fine and you can just scroll by. I hope you have a nice rest of your day.
@@user-mo9we6in8z so you with the intent to suppress someone else's opinion is okay? Controlling how they write is okay? No not acceptable and likely manipulative like this mother who doesn't know how to teach their kids so they kept going on and on about the toy
Never had either of mine not love nap or bed times! Always our time to cuddle read a book have a chat cos the deeper stuff comes out when relaxing and close. So important to make that time so they feel heard and loved they relax feel safe and fall asleep so easily then. Just like when we’re older it’s so nice right? ❤
What's gentle about the threat:"hey remember there's a possibility of a punishment unless you cooperate"?!? And what's with that emotion confusion?!? "You're upset but please do a smile now, won't you". This is so wrong...............
Yes, exactly, this is painful to watch how a parent basically shows here that she "owns" that child and the child must behave how she wants, regardless of this child feeling. We are living in a crazy world 😢
Please let children cry. When tears are released a hormone is in them and it will regulate the feelings. Just let her have feelings 'where's your smile'... I understand you are a good mum, doing a good job that is difficult but please don't use toxic positivity. Humans have all sorts of emotions. They are all worthy..
Stop telling him what you’re about to do giving him the chance to cry about it. Without a word you pick him up go lay him down and play peek a boo for a minute or tickle him and laugh or make his stuffed animals talk to him. The second he’s in a good mood, without a word you leave the room and close the door.
@KatarinaS. I would not have been able to be patient with kids. That's why I never had them. I know myself and I wouldn't have been a good mother. Not everybody is mother material. 😊
This brought me to tears!! 😢 Love, understanding, effective communication, choices, all 💯!!! All of these elements are key to raising a happy, positive, successful, human being !!!! 💙
I love how intentional this mama is in her loving! As a single mom to 20 & 15 w special needs - sometimes being patient is so hard - kudos to you for coregulating this baby’s emotions with such kindness! I do not feel we should tell our kids to “smile” right after big feelings, however. I feel it teaches that only certain emotions are acceptable. With boys in particular, we’ve got to give them ways not to stuff anger or sadness down. I also feel we should ASK for a hug instead of telling a child to hug. These things ultimately teach them about boundaries & safety - and they will go on to respect others’ boundaries in kind. In the end being a “good enough” parent is the goal. Thank you for sharing a moment of your lives with us 🥰
What do these children think about a camera in their face all the time when they're feeling high emotions? Is it the Dad filming? That's even worse if so
That's a good way to work with an 9ver tired toddler. I taught 2 year Olds for 15 years, and her manner of getting down to her level, offering choices, and her feeling in charge WORKS👍😄
She has 7 kids so she's had a lot of practice getting this down to a science. If you watch any of their routine videos, she has those kids trained very well.
@ATLA99 that's because she posts the videos that it works in. People who are real parents know it doesn't work all the time. I used to do it all the time when my daughter was young. I also have neices, it maybe works 20-30% success rate. If you were born yesterday and/or don't have kids you may believe.
@@ChrisJericho-yf4db exactly, I struggle to understand why people don’t take in to account that this woman is profiting by putting her children on the internet so no, not the perfect parent. There is no such thing as a perfect parent so the way she paints herself as one is highly disingenuous. She’s not going to post the videos of when it didn’t go her way is she? the human race managed to survive this long, raising their own children for thousands of years without her earth shattering insights
River’s laugh is delightful. He made it through the tears to that beautiful sound and moment with Mom. In a world that seems so dark sometimes it’s wonderful to see such a nurturing, balanced family making their way. I think both the little girl and the live-in auntie in me treasure that.
@@user99hw maybe it is better to have only a couple and they'll get way more attention from you, rather than 7 and none of them has enough time with their parent
@@arinalowery7167 Well thats your opinion. She clearly loves all of her babies and it’s her body and her family. She can have as many babies as she wants. It’s none of our business.
I never made my kid take a nap, and he came out just fine. Mabey naps are for parent's time out. If kids have high energy all day, why do they need naps. I can see if they get tired and/ or grouchy, otherwise, what is the purpose and they sleep better at night. I guess they all have different energy levels 💕🙏☮️💓😍❤️🎃
Naps were definitely for my mom. I started refusing naps at about 2, and she instituted “quiet hour” for my brother and me instead. It consisted of Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers while she decompressed in the next room
Momma loves with compassion her sons to make in heart a big joy . She is the best mother I have ever experienced.😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤she is a God's Angel mother to her loving kids.😮😮😮😮
Man this is so hard some days (all days!) but you did amazing with this! When our babies can trust us with their feelings and to hold and support them, it’s a beautiful thing ❤
There’s actually some good research around smiling in this way. It actually sends chemical signals to your brain and nervous system that you are safe and content and so it’s like a brain rewiring technique. I use it in my daily life. It’s important to also balance it with getting in touch and finding out what the upset part wants but I feel like she did that. Her first question was what do you want/ need?
My late Momma used to reframe things my difficult brother by giving him a choice-which still resulted in having to obey, but made him feel like it was his idea. “Would you prefer to take your giraffe or your teddy bear with you to bed?” 😂❤
Wat amazing parents U r...wed have sooo much more positivity in the world today w this generation w parents like these...bless U and ur sweet children always🙏🙏🙏🙏
Excellent job mom! Nothing like giving them a choice or two so they feel like they have some say even though they are still doing what is expected. Its amazing how far a little patience and positive reenforcement can go!
Please don't make your toddlers feel that they should never cry or be sad, but should only 'smile for mommy' all the time. That is not teaching them to be emotionally healthy. The child should not learn that he is 'not nice' for crying. Everyone has sadness and anger at times and should be allowed to cope with their emotions in healthy ways, which can include crying. This mother is not teaching her child to cope with his emotions in a healthy way.
@@vegskater1741 she actually has a great way of letting the children who are having big emotions to excuse themselves in a time out to be able to come back to calm. Have you met some kids who are allowed to ongoingly express emotions by just screaming and railing at parents? They don’t grow out of it as I have seen many kids now around 10 who are allowed to just keep it up. They aren’t learning to cope. I think this mama is doing a great job.
![[Sub Thai] APT. - ROSÉ & Bruno Mars](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bYjhzP8x_uc/mqdefault.jpg)
I need someone to give me a hug and a blankey - and I'm 58.
Sending virtual hugs. You got this 🤗 🩷
Aww~ I feel ya~
Oh yes, that doesn't end, we all need care and love. xx
Come to Mama here 😂
I could do with her putting me to bed 😅
What a golden-hearted, patient, devoted and loving woman this child has for a mother. Her family hit the lottery with her.
THIS is gentle parenting. It’s parenting but not screaming. Gentle parenting does NOT mean you tell your child not to do things and then do NOTHING to enforce it. Instead of screaming, you speak softly. Instead of getting angry, you stay calm. Reassuring, loving, kind, and definitely not as scary as some parents are. You are gentle but you still make sure they know and do what you want. This is the right way to treat and raise children. 👏👏👏👏
So good.
You got it all wrong.
It’s just parenting… why do people think that if you parent without screaming you are a gentle parent… why do people think that the options are gentle parenting or being a dictator…
@@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478 It’s not just because she didn’t scream. Did you see how she treated her kid? When I was growing up I sure as hell wasn’t treated like this. If I cried for any reason they’d say “stop crying before I give you a reason to cry.” and blamed me for things I couldn’t do. They expected me to be perfect yet here she is gentle and makes sure that not only her kid does what she wants but that it ends in peace and not war
@@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478it's actually not how the majority parents. It only has a name *because* it's not how most parent their kids. If it was common it wouldn't be named.
That mother is the most patient and loving woman I've ever seen.
I'll take this compliment
I do the same here and I love.
Never been so happy ❤
You can speak with your children in a normal way, she is very annoying and indoctrinating@@mdd4567
@@PassRush49 OF COURSE SHES PATIENT...SHES FILMING HERSELF
@@mdd4567 OF COURSR SHES NOT GOING TO SHOUT SHES FILMING HERSELFING
Bs you always film when there tired
Naptime is always a positive experience for me til now the 41th year. Thanks mom.
😂😂😂❤💯
😂😂😂😂😂😂 yo tengo 71 y sigo con mi siesta 😂😂😂.
Excellent parenting. She is a wise mom.
She IS such a good mum, LOVE how she deals with all his tantrums, she IS special
Really patient, but the point that the boy can't express his anger freely and is immediately shut down. The strategy to get him from crying and telling him "if you can't ne nice, you have to sit there and take a break out till you're nice again" sends him the message that everytime he cries, he's not nice. Kids are always nice, even if they cry.
"I understand you, baby, you don't want to go to sleep. It's okay that you cry and I give you an extra hug. What I see, is that you are really tired. Let's read a book together in your bed, and I will stay with you, until you're asleep. I will hold you safe in my arm!"
That's what I was missing in the conversation with this poor tired boy, trying to express his feelings, that actually aren't heard.
Was looking for a response like this! I totally agree! Thanks!
I think that during the cut there may have been something that “wasn’t nice”. I know from experience that toddlers tend to flail around and hit when they’re upset or uncomfortable. So that might have happened in the cut.
I think she did a good job to calm him down gently (which is what all kids need in this situation) while also upholding her authority as a parent. At this age, exercising authority is very important to build a strong foundation for the future. It’s very easy for toddler parents to accidentally fall down a slippery slope of either authoritarian or negligence when it comes to their child’s behavior.
I think she’s doing a phenomenal job especially when she explains the routine and gives him a choice of which music to play. It gives him agency while adhering to the routine he needs. She lets him feel his emotions then helps him regulate so he can solve the root cause of the problem (tiredness).
@@YipPie-b5d me too. So important for humans to have space to be and not have to pretend to be happy when they feel sad or scared.
this!
Sentí que la mamá solo quería que el niño parara de llorar y se durmiera de una vez. Pobre niño.😢
I always gave my kids a book or quiet toy if they didn't want to nap. they could look at the pictures and have quiet time. They eventually got bored and fell asleep and on the occasion they didn't, they still had "rest" and quiet time.
I did the same
I have to do the same with my son. He's just like me and RARELY naps unless he's sick or pushes himself to the limit. But he is gonna have some quiet time and rest, regardless.
A child is not allowed to do everything, BUT it is allowed to show all its feelings. Be there for your children with warmth and attention and allow them to cry and feel bad!! This makes them feel loved, unconditionally.
The child in this video is only 2, impulse control is only learnt by toddlers from the age of 4. All he is learning here is to suppress his feelings because otherwise he will have to expect a withdrawal of love (time out).
Teach him to understand and process his "negative" feelings instead of forbidding him to be sad/angry! 🙏🏻 That would help him so much more for his adult life.
I agree. I don't have kids, but I think it's perfectly ok to let him just cry it out for a few minutes. I can try to ask him what he wants like she does here, but I doubt I'll understand what he's saying if I haven't been around him much. But I would give him a hug and maybe he can help me figure out what he wants. Maybe all he wants is a hug. I wouldn't tell him to be 'nice'. He wasn't being mean. He was just crying. That's probably normal for a baby his age.
Do you have children?
Yes, exactly, I agree 💯
This is painful to watch
Exactly, reminded me of the movie Inside Out. When Joy wanted to suppress sadness but it’s a feeling she needs to experience.
@@SunYi-fi1is I agree that he needs to experience the sadness because if he isn't allowed to, I think it can cause physical problems in his body later in life.
I love this parenting, too. Gentle words! Good job, mommy!
This is wonderful. Children are learning that their perspective and positive outlook will make life a fantastic experience. This young mum is reinforcing emotional intelligence....so important to the development of the child and to the family and broader community as he grows into adulthood. ✨✨✨
I'll be a mom in 2 months and you have no idea how happy I am to learn from you.... I hope I can be as patient and loving as you❤❤❤
Awww congrats is it a boy or girl?
Congrats 🎉 a challenging but most beautiful journey awaits ❤
@@neleroluyorhayatta congratulations! Be loving, be patient but like you. You are good enough!
You already are a mom :) just haven't met your baby yet. God bless u
Three months left for me! 🥰
What an absolute doll baby!! Excellent job, Mom!!
How she deals with 3 toddlers is pretty amazing. ❤
@@yvonneplant9434 And there are 4 others, 7 in total.
Very well done.
It also helps the child to identify that he's tired and he'll likely feel better after his nap. His tiredness may well be the reason he had the moodiness in the first place. ❤
Good parenting.....so much patience!
I am a professional nanny of 15 years, and there were two things that I really didn’t agree w here.
1. Suppressing the child’s feeling by MAKING him smile. It is important that he can freely let the people that he trusts know when he isn’t happy about something. Your method may work now, but as they get older, they are being ‘taught’ to become good manipulators - i.e., lying, hiding things, always making themselves look like the “good guy” on the outside.
2. When it comes to nap time, a consequence in the form of a punishment such as time-out is NOT the way. Nap time should be considered no different than brushing their teeth, eating their meals, going out to the park, washing hands, etc.
My advice. Don’t underestimate his ability to understand you. COMMUNICATE your routine w him throughout the day. I do this on our way to/back the outing of the day, or sometimes while they’re eating lunch. And pretty soon they will recite the routine back to you. Children DON’T like surprises. So if nap time is talked about together in advance, I promise it will be a seamless process for both mom and child.
I loved that you gave him autonomy to choose the music he wanted!
My kiddos help me fill-up their “heavy”water bottles, and then they take it to their crib. And they love having that responsibility!
Agree. More menacing than positive
He's not you kid. Mind your own business. NEVER TELL ANOTHER WOMAN WHAT TO DO WITH HER KID.
@@BOUBOUNISTA well we have an entire system dedicated to telling people what to do with their kids and it’s called family services lol.
You are right. Every emotion should explored rather than discounted. Telling him to smile was a discount even if meant well. Discounts can cause children and adults later in life to have dysregulated emotions.
I think she want trying to use bedtime as a punishment, but was trying to show how bad behavior can be explained due to being tired. But, yeah, she could have separated out the behavior consequence element from the nap element.
I wish someone would force me to nap nowadays😭 I‘d love to nap daily
He’s so blessed to have such a loving mother ❤❤❤ gorgeous family ❤❤❤
She's a gentle, loving yet firm mother. Lovely.
I love the way this young mum gets down to her child’s level and speaks in a warm way. Love her giving her child some options so her child feels they have some choice, some degree of autonomy, particularly when they obviously don’t want to take a nap. Love the comforting rituals she has built into nap time so bub feels they have something to look forward to. But this is not a tantrum. None of us like being told what to do. We struggle with this as adults. We struggle with big difficult feelings as adults - disappointment, frustration, anger. But at this young age the child is encouraged to deny how they feel and put on a “happy face.” The child is simply reacting to something he doesn’t want to do. His crying is the result of what he is feeling in the moment. His feelings aren’t good or bad. They just are. Labelling them as “not nice” and not allowing their expression tells this child that certain emotions are unacceptable. We have an emotional repertoire for a reason. This invalidation of how her child feels is not healthy for a child’s emotional development. It may well create problems down the line. I am speaking from experience. I have used this approach. You end up with compliant children and life seems easier and people complement you on how good your children are and what a wonderful mother you must be but these children can grow into adult people pleasers who have trouble identifying, trusting, accepting and processing their emotions.
I have to agree I don’t think she should have told the child to smile. You shouldn’t force an expression (and the implied emotion) on a child that small. They can feel what they feel and express it in a healthy way.
Yeah it's gaslighting a child basically, not "raising" them. It's sad. Thanks for spreading awareness
Totally agree with this 👍🏼
very nice - except that crying isn't being bad. It's being a two year old. Let him cry and give him a big love. Then take him gently to bed.
Thank you. And having to sit in a corner at two? I think that's a little abusive.
Very cute but please don’t force him to stop his emotions ❤❤❤
@@zamiahhellokittygirl THANK YOU! I TOLD HER THE SAME THING
@zamiahhellokittygirl hey it's her kid not you're so don't worry about it
@rowanhamilton5695 If ppl are going to put their lives out here for everyone to see, they are going to get feedback. Nothing wrong with it.
@@rowanhamilton5695 lol!
Yeah because letting your kid cry for hours on end for no reason is soooo healthy for them
Honestly its all about the buy in! The little characters with the music box is SUCH a game changing idea, and there are so many ways to implement something similar whether its music on a tablet or alexa, a star projector, LED lights and they get to choose the colour, picking their jammies or blanket or stuffies or book to read etc etc
Teaching him to 'be nice or he'll have to sit in time out" is a perfect recipe to create a people pleaser. Engage the child in their emotion. Don't threaten them
I mean…..you’re not wrong considering how I turned out, lol! (To be fair, that could be from a lot of different factors too though!)
Exactly! It implies: "mom is only comfortable with happy feelings. You're not allowed to be sad."
My mother used to scream at me to stop crying when I was upset. Thankful that this lady doesn't scream at her kids, but punishing them for being sad isn't much better. I don't speak with my mother anymore. I teach my kids that it's OK to be sad!
I think it’s more about teaching kids that even when they’re sad they can’t cross boundaries. That’s healthy emotional growth. Even when you’re sad you cannot hurt others. I think that’s what that meant.
@@TaruJL That actually stifles emotional development and authentic self expression in the child bc they come to fear repercussions. The healthiest method is to help the child process their emotions and deescalate it w patient conversation and presence.
@@MiladeOliveiraGaia That of course, but I still think it’s important to teach a child that when big emotions happen, they shouldn’t hit others. And this is the most effective when you go through this when the child is calm.
There we go!!! Stuff down your feelings for momma’s social media !!! Remember… don’t forget…
Those cries. In the moment they make you want to pop, but even now with 2 under 2 hearing river cry made me sad but also smile a little knowing one day ill miss these moments and would give anything to be hear again. The cries of a baby/toddler are innocent and frustrated, confused. They need help and thats OUR purpose. I have to be reminded of that often❤
When I'm sad, I want to be sad and not have to put on a smile. Then I only learn that my true emotion is not respected, and therefore my true self. In other words, not me. I learn to be fake because people want me to be fake. Moreover, I want to apologize when I want to apologize because I have understood the extent of your emotions. That way I only learn to become a reactive puppet that can't understand or think for itself. And time out in the corner means: I neglect to show you how to regulate yourself by calming and regulating us both, but instead send you away so that you develop so much fear and sadness in loneliness that in future you just swallow everything and keep quiet instead of learning, understanding or processing. And again, not eye level, but a puppet. None of that is healthy.
This is great! Gentle but firm. That momma kindly stood on business 👈😉🥰🙏
Real good! Just remember it won't always play out the same. I need to pray for young mommas. Parenting is a lot of work but worth it.❤
Actually if kids don't need a nap, they shouldn't be forced to nap. This is them saying their body does not NEED NAPS NO MATTER HOW NICE OR CALM OR IF YOUR ANGRILY SAYING IT. THEY DO NOT NEED TO NAP SO THEY SHOULD BE MADE OUT ACCORDINGLY TO EACH CHILD
@@Dinhi-gq9rb Lol what? It's the opposite. Kids get moody and cry and throw tantrums about naptime BECAUSE they need a nap. These are all signs of being overly tired. If they don't have the nap the entire evening will be filled with cranky meltdowns from being overtired. And a lot of the time it ends up with them having a bad night's sleep, too.
Naps are crucial for children. Their brains are growing and developing so much they need sleep.
And even if they somehow don't fall asleep, quiet time in their room laying in bed listening to music is good for their nervous system. Constant stimulation all day long is bad for everyone. But 99.9% of the time the kid will fall asleep if they are laying in their bed in the dark.
I worked in childcare for over ten years with dozens of different kids from different families. Their parents told me some were great nappers and others weren't. Guess what? Every kid I ever watched napped at naptime. I have a 100% naptime success rate. Even the stubborn kids. I know I can't make them sleep, but I can make them stay in their rooms for all of naptime in the dark with music or a noise machine going. And they always end up falling asleep. You just have to be consistent and make staying in their rooms during naptime not optional.
It's so interesting watching different cultures do stuff. We put the baby on our back and carry on doing life. They cry a bit, fall asleep, and we lay them down.
ikr?! Leave it to the westerners to overcomplicate and overthink the simpler things and come up with some complex analysis.
What culture are you from?
So what do people who can't carry a baby on their backs do? Some women have physical difficulties.
@delicate1 we are a communal culture so it's pretty rare for mums to be alone with their kids. There's usually some relative or the other who is around also taking care of the child.
@@vbk9697 I love that and I wish more people in the industrial countries did that. We also always had our baby in a carry scarf or whatever it's called. And I know some other parents here in Germany who use that as well. It's not completely uncommom.😊
She does a fantastic job. She doesn't coddle him but still let's him know she loves him..well done 👍
very loving parenting,, time and patience ❤
This is such a helpful video! I can only imagine how hard it is to stay calm when your child is crying, she does such a great job not matching their emotions and encouraging them. Gosh I learned so much from this sweet lady! Thank you for being brave enough to post the tough times too.
Actually if kids don't need a nap, they shouldn't be forced to nap. This is them saying their body does not NEED NAPS NO MATTER HOW NICE OR CALM OR IF YOUR ANGRILY SAYING IT. THEY DO NOT NEED TO NAP SO THEY SHOULD BE MADE OUT ACCORDINGLY TO EACH CHILD
@user-mo9we6in8z well said! Mom did it beautifully!
@@Dinhi-gq9rb It is okay for people to have different opinions. The capitalized screaming text is not necessary here.
Let's remember to be kind and respect each other online.
This sweet mom can make different parenting choices from yours and both are ok. I think she does a beautiful job being a parent, and if you disagree, that is also fine and you can just scroll by.
I hope you have a nice rest of your day.
@@user-mo9we6in8z you don't control how people write on here, your controlling behaviour is sign of abusiveness, red flags
@@user-mo9we6in8z so you with the intent to suppress someone else's opinion is okay? Controlling how they write is okay? No not acceptable and likely manipulative like this mother who doesn't know how to teach their kids so they kept going on and on about the toy
This videos give me hope as an educator
Never had either of mine not love nap or bed times! Always our time to cuddle read a book have a chat cos the deeper stuff comes out when relaxing and close. So important to make that time so they feel heard and loved they relax feel safe and fall asleep so easily then. Just like when we’re older it’s so nice right? ❤
What's gentle about the threat:"hey remember there's a possibility of a punishment unless you cooperate"?!?
And what's with that emotion confusion?!? "You're upset but please do a smile now, won't you". This is so wrong...............
Be nice, smile, do what your told, no matter how you feel and what you want or you go to time out till you remember to be like I want you to be.
Do you have children?
@samu6874 do you have children
@@michellec.6226 4 of them. Ages 4, 7, 11 and 14.
@@rowanhamilton5695 yes, 4 of them.
Yes, exactly, this is painful to watch how a parent basically shows here that she "owns" that child and the child must behave how she wants, regardless of this child feeling.
We are living in a crazy world 😢
Please let children cry. When tears are released a hormone is in them and it will regulate the feelings.
Just let her have feelings
'where's your smile'... I understand you are a good mum, doing a good job that is difficult but please don't use toxic positivity.
Humans have all sorts of emotions. They are all worthy..
Great comment.
The best ❤❤❤ever learning so much from you mom.thank you so much
Stop telling him what you’re about to do giving him the chance to cry about it. Without a word you pick him up go lay him down and play peek a boo for a minute or tickle him and laugh or make his stuffed animals talk to him. The second he’s in a good mood, without a word you leave the room and close the door.
I so agree why aren't other people noticing that people please use your brains and don't learn from TH-cam pretending to teach you parenting for money
More stupid advice, the exact opposite of what a parent should do.
What a good mother. I could never have done this.
My mother would have told me, I give you a reason to cry. You are going to bed . The word will not be as kind either.
You could have if you'd learned the skills.
@KatarinaS. Maybe. I never wanted kids though. Never even looked at babies. Until I was 72! Haha must be a grandma hormone has kicked in. 😆
@debbiechadwick861 Oh, sorry, I thought you meant that you are a parent but never could've been as patient and calm with them as she is.
@KatarinaS. I would not have been able to be patient with kids. That's why I never had them. I know myself and I wouldn't have been a good mother. Not everybody is mother material. 😊
What a great mom.
You’re so patient and gentle 🥹🥹🥹 I love it.
This brought me to tears!! 😢 Love, understanding, effective communication, choices, all 💯!!! All of these elements are key to raising a happy, positive, successful, human being !!!! 💙
Good job momma. Peaceful mommas make peaceful kids. Thank you for sharing.
I love how intentional this mama is in her loving! As a single mom to 20 & 15 w special needs - sometimes being patient is so hard - kudos to you for coregulating this baby’s emotions with such kindness! I do not feel we should tell our kids to “smile” right after big feelings, however. I feel it teaches that only certain emotions are acceptable. With boys in particular, we’ve got to give them ways not to stuff anger or sadness down. I also feel we should ASK for a hug instead of telling a child to hug. These things ultimately teach them about boundaries & safety - and they will go on to respect others’ boundaries in kind. In the end being a “good enough” parent is the goal. Thank you for sharing a moment of your lives with us 🥰
What do these children think about a camera in their face all the time when they're feeling high emotions? Is it the Dad filming? That's even worse if so
I also don't think it's fair to the kids to be filming them a lot and putting it on the internet for everyone to see. Especially when they cry.
That's a good way to work with an 9ver tired toddler. I taught 2 year Olds for 15 years, and her manner of getting down to her level, offering choices, and her feeling in charge WORKS👍😄
If only it was that easy, haha.
But yes, she gives so much great examples, always helpful/inspiration.
HA, yeah she is showing us the ONE time this worked.
She has 7 kids so she's had a lot of practice getting this down to a science. If you watch any of their routine videos, she has those kids trained very well.
@ATLA99 that's because she posts the videos that it works in. People who are real parents know it doesn't work all the time. I used to do it all the time when my daughter was young. I also have neices, it maybe works 20-30% success rate. If you were born yesterday and/or don't have kids you may believe.
@@ChrisJericho-yf4db exactly, I struggle to understand why people don’t take in to account that this woman is profiting by putting her children on the internet so no, not the perfect parent. There is no such thing as a perfect parent so the way she paints herself as one is highly disingenuous. She’s not going to post the videos of when it didn’t go her way is she? the human race managed to survive this long, raising their own children for thousands of years without her earth shattering insights
That was awesome! Good job, mommy!😊
River’s laugh is delightful. He made it through the tears to that beautiful sound and moment with Mom. In a world that seems so dark sometimes it’s wonderful to see such a nurturing, balanced family making their way. I think both the little girl and the live-in auntie in me treasure that.
In India we hold the baby, make him sleep and sleep beside them by holding.❤
She has 7 kids, I don’t blame her for not having the time to coddle her grumpy little man. He will be fine. She’s doing amazingb
@@user99hwI didn't know she has 7. I've only seen two. 😮
@@fishofgold6553 she’s a mama of 7! And she’s awesome
@@user99hw maybe it is better to have only a couple and they'll get way more attention from you, rather than 7 and none of them has enough time with their parent
@@arinalowery7167 Well thats your opinion. She clearly loves all of her babies and it’s her body and her family. She can have as many babies as she wants. It’s none of our business.
Excellent! So wise!
Such a beautiful age! So prescious! Good job mom! She show love and patience. ❤
I wish I had known this when I was younger. I find your videos very inspiring
God Bless You ❤
I never made my kid take a nap, and he came out just fine. Mabey naps are for parent's time out. If kids have high energy all day, why do they need naps. I can see if they get tired and/ or grouchy, otherwise, what is the purpose and they sleep better at night. I guess they all have different energy levels 💕🙏☮️💓😍❤️🎃
Naps were definitely for my mom. I started refusing naps at about 2, and she instituted “quiet hour” for my brother and me instead. It consisted of Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers while she decompressed in the next room
I never took naps as a child. My mom tried to get me to take naps, but gave up before I went to kindergarten. I take naps now as an adult. :D
You are the most incredible mom ❤
incredibly selfish mom
Momma loves with compassion her sons to make in heart a big joy . She is the best mother I have ever experienced.😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤she is a God's Angel mother to her loving kids.😮😮😮😮
Best outstanding superb loving mommy in the whole world 🌎
You’re a great Mom!!!❤
Man this is so hard some days (all days!) but you did amazing with this! When our babies can trust us with their feelings and to hold and support them, it’s a beautiful thing ❤
Omgh! I remember these precious times.
Love it but I don't think I'd ask my kid for his smile because I don't want him to pretend and hide his feelings.
There’s actually some good research around smiling in this way. It actually sends chemical signals to your brain and nervous system that you are safe and content and so it’s like a brain rewiring technique. I use it in my daily life. It’s important to also balance it with getting in touch and finding out what the upset part wants but I feel like she did that. Her first question was what do you want/ need?
Such a good mother you are. I hope to be as good...
Amazing parenting example. I feel like there is still hope for humanity when I see behavioural examples like this.
This was absolutely beautiful ❤
Good job, momma! Such sweet boys ❤
GREAT MOM❣️
Well done Mom! 🥰
Awesome Job 👍 mom!!!! Amazing patience ❤️🙏
How cute is he on his big-boy bed❤ as a toddler nanny, this warms my heart
Good mom❤
This is so beautiful 😊❤
I can't even convince myself to take a nap I always end up watching one more episodes 😂
What an AWESOME MOMMY!!❤
He is about the most adorable baby boy I’ve ever seen.
Thank God that my children enjoy their bedtime every night.
❤🧸 redirecting & making nap time positive I agree is best
Brilliant mom
This is a skill & talent more than parenting and motherhood to me❤
My late Momma used to reframe things my difficult brother by giving him a choice-which still resulted in having to obey, but made him feel like it was his idea. “Would you prefer to take your giraffe or your teddy bear with you to bed?” 😂❤
She's fantastic. Well done on being a wonderful momma🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Isn't River just the cutest, how can you resist that sweet face!!!!
His little round cheeks! He is so cute❤ The tantrum can always be averted with patience and reassurance and distraction the key is to stay calm😊
Wat amazing parents U r...wed have sooo much more positivity in the world today w this generation w parents like these...bless U and ur sweet children always🙏🙏🙏🙏
the gentle parenting i would do❤
As close to the perfect parenting skills as possible!
you have no idea the amount of patience she is putting in to do what she is doing ❤❤
This is amazing thank you
I miss those days when my kids were this little❤❤❤❤.... I can't pick them and go around anymore😢😢
Love this kind of treat.My African parents should learn to do it this simple and technically.
Excellent job mom! Nothing like giving them a choice or two so they feel like they have some say even though they are still doing what is expected. Its amazing how far a little patience and positive reenforcement can go!
Sorry, this is not my style...I feel that expressions of children shouldn't be manipulated by the parents' wishes (see the beginning)!
Thank you Mom for sharing. These vids are beautiful and so helpful for the world to see 🎉❤
Wow what a Mom❤
We are just starting to go through this with my 2.5 year old so this video was very timely! Thank you!
Please don't make your toddlers feel that they should never cry or be sad, but should only 'smile for mommy' all the time. That is not teaching them to be emotionally healthy. The child should not learn that he is 'not nice' for crying. Everyone has sadness and anger at times and should be allowed to cope with their emotions in healthy ways, which can include crying. This mother is not teaching her child to cope with his emotions in a healthy way.
@@vegskater1741 she actually has a great way of letting the children who are having big emotions to excuse themselves in a time out to be able to come back to calm. Have you met some kids who are allowed to ongoingly express emotions by just screaming and railing at parents? They don’t grow out of it as I have seen many kids now around 10 who are allowed to just keep it up. They aren’t learning to cope. I think this mama is doing a great job.
I just love how you parent!
Your such a good mom❤
I love that he has some choices,about story time!