5 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Being Debt Free
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2024
- Ready for a dose of wisdom and truth from a couple who has been married for 33 years and debt-free for 23 years? We were able to get out of debt over twenty years ago and we were forced to look some of these lies in the face - and find an inner peace in being who we were, without trying to live up to our own preconceived notions (or those of others.)
Although becoming debt free offers you more freedom, options, and peace, there are five lies that we tell ourselves about being debt free. In this video, we discuss the truth about why your debt payoff won't bring you the respect of others, true happiness, or a green light to spend money on whatever you want.
00:00 - Introduction
01:05 - Respect
04:05 - Life will be better
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While getting out of debt, whenever I'd see something I really wanted I'd say, "I'll buy it when I'm out of debt". That way I didn't feel deprived. Of course when I got out of debt I didn't really want 95% of that stuff!
We still find ourselves doing that. We think we want things and then when we have a cooling off period we find that it really wasn't that important to us.
That’s good- I’m going to start saying that to myself !!!
I realized that most of my friends have no clue about financial goals. In fact 1 laughed at me when I said I could make bread for 50 cents a loaf. I had to realize I am in a different financial position on a fixed income. But due to diligence have an emergency fund, no credit cards and know where my money goes. .fast food is a thing of the past. Now must discipline myself to not spend money on my hobby (cross stitch). 😶 I dress frumpy and love being comfortable! I am not trying to impress anyone. Must be happy 😊 within myself!
Super, Vicki!
Great that you are not trying to impress anyone.just being yourself is the best thing to do in lifex
Amen!
Oh goodness gracious, yes .. I am with you, I dress for comfort!
Everyone's journey is different. I paid off A credit card this month. 2 more to go...
Yes! Wanda, that is a wonderful accomplishment. Good for you.
AWESOME !👏
@@katieheidinger4635 Thank you 😊 🙏 ☺
Yay! 🤗👍🤗
I don’t think people respect us more being debt free, I feel they actually just think we are WEIRD 😆 and that is OK! We have more peace and freedom, and it is worth it!
It's a good kind of weird. LOL!
@@larryware1 exactly!
Hubby and I agree that being debt free doesn't impress anyone but it sure makes one less stress in the family unit because everyone is aware that money has a job and you have to make it work. We were actually feeling frustrated when we did not have a budget because every paycheck seem to be gone before we had it in the bank. Our budget helped us set goals and feel we were in control of our lives than the other way around. Thanks again for sharing.
Katherine, you are absolutely right. Before we gave each dollar a job to to, we just spent money because it was in the bank - not realizing that it really should have been earmarked for future goals. For us, setting goals was probably one of the biggest things we had to learn about handling money.
1.absolutely right.
Do not explain anything at all.move in silence.
Ask yourself ,why do I crave validation from people ?especially those who do not live my lifestyle,nor have my issues?they will never see my point,i will never see theirs,its an exercise in frustration.
We agree. Sometimes the best course of action is to move on in peace and continue to live your life.
When I had the epiphany that happiness was a choice, it completely changed my life. I love your comment about finding joy at all financial levels. When you talked about all the free things y'all did with your kids a few weeks ago, I thought how many wonderful memories your kids must have about spending time with you. Picnics, going to the park, playing games in the back yard...much more impactful than giving a child a video game or some other expensive gadget.
Thanks, Holly. Appreciate your comment.
I learned a long time ago that you keep your financial situation to yourself. You do not tell family friends mother father anybody. Whether you decide to do the debt-free route or not, it is no one’s business. Keep it to yourself
I think being debt free takes the panic out of unexpected expenses and allows for spontaneous generosity. In that way it can add to your happiness.
We absolutely agree with you. It can add to your happiness in that you can flow more effectively in your natural spirit of generosity. That is, indeed, a wonderful thing about being debt free.
Money is a tool. It is energy. That's all. Being debt free is awesome. House paid off 9 years now...paid off early. So now the "house payment" goes for investing, emergency funds, planned gifts... birthday/anniversary/Christmas... whatever. And part goes for savings for the bigger items we want. Or...if we come across a great sale...then we have the funds. If you are happy first... Then the things you want..just seem to come to you. For instance, our 18th anniversary was this past Monday. We were "gifted" an outdoor ceiling fan, which is something we both wanted...but hadn't gone shopping for. The one we got....perfect in every way. God bless
I became debt free in 2019. I was relieved. After what has happened in the last two years, I am thankful.
We are trying to become debt free so we can live comfortably in retirement. As you get older you realize how little "things" matter. And comfort of an easier life is more important. Age brings knowledge.
I do agree with 5 points. My budgeting is like my weight maintenance, it's ongoing. It's the only way keep out of dept and ahead of the game ie my sink fund, house maintenance fund etc. Budgeting does give me peace of mind and I'm very happy with my life, I don't go without anything.
Great points. Thanks so much for your insightful comment.
I loved your points and I'm not sure if I've gotten mixed up by something you might have already said, but a lie I used to believe was that I couldn't do it/I wasn't disciplined enough. The importance of healthy, regular, attainable goals when making any kind of change in life, gives us the incentive and purpose to get started - even if only in a small way. Many years later, that lie proved to be from the pit of hell, trying to hold me back from living a frugally-blessed and giving lifestyle today. Another lie was that I would be all alone in my saving and that I would be lonely because of that. God provided a frugal, wonderful Husband, loving friends on similar journeys and channels like yours where relatable, friendly living-lighthouses shone out the truth in love. Thank you Lord for your incredible love, wisdom and protection. Thank you for providing, for teaching, for humbling and blessing us and thank you for one another! Amen xx
Wow! What a wonderful, insightful comment! Yes, you are absolutely right! Another lie is that we lack the discipline to actually even become debt free. Really great thoughts. Thanks!
This is one of your best videos all. We are debt free too. There is some pressure remaining debt free. Thanks all
Thanks! You are right. Staying debt-free is just as much of a choice as getting that way in the first place. There are a lot of temptations to spend money.
@@UndertheMedian You all are so smart
I've seen money solve many problems, and that does bring happiness. 👍💞🤗💕
1.Don't involve outsiders in your financial decisions.
2. I feel Life really is easier being debt free.
Money can't solve all problems, but it sure can solve a lot of them, and that makes me happy.
3.Yes, Budgeting is for life. It is probably the single one thing that helps me most.
4. You need to live below your means.
5. Savings and Sinking funds are a must.
First, I loved the length of this video, perfect. We, too are debt free and have been for years. Another lie about being debt free is people say that it hurts your credit score not to carry debt, wrong! We have a great credit rating that has only improved with no debt. Great video!
Good to know. We have a very decent credit score and we haven't had debt in many years. I thought it was just a fluke, though. I periodically look at my score and kept waiting to see it plummet and it never did.
I 100%absolutely agree.
Another lie is :why should i care about debt?its a normal part of life.
And,frugal =poverty.or frugal=cheapskate.
Not true.frugality is having a plan for your money.nothing to do with poverty,although,if you spend,spend,spend nonstop,and unchecked,you will end up in poverty very fast.
Cheap cares solely on low cost,quality be damned.frugal wants the most bang for the buck.what is the best value i can get,even if i pay more now.
That is certainly the current line of thinking in America. I bought into that lie when I was younger. I thought we would always be in debt. That there was no other way.
Thank y'all so much for making this video! There was a couple things I didn't realize and this has opened my eyes to lots of things especially the being happy part! Y'all are so amazing and true blessing to so many of us and I can't thank ya so much!
Another fantastic video! I totally agree with all of your points. Your "WHY" has to be bigger than your "WANTS" .... Why you want to become or remain debt free is the game changer. Its so much more rewarding to be intentional with your money and your goals.
My main reason for becoming/staying debt free is because I remember what it felt like when my parents lost - not one - BUT TWO HOMES to foreclosure! They taught me ZERO about finances and I never saw them budget EVER in my entire life. :'( My siblings and I had no stability, and that kind of vulnerability is traumatizing. So , MY "WHY" IS : because I never want to feel that kind of fear ever again!
Wow! You have some really strong reasons for pursuing becoming debt free and staying that way. I want to thank you for sharing your story.
Congrats on 33 years of marriage!!! Many happy moons together and Yes , I agree with you!
As money is turning into the new digital which i am not ok with, I am grateful not to be in debt at this time!You guys Rock!!!!
I love listening to you guys because you confirm that i am on the right track in my life and that our beliefs are definately in line!
I live on a fixed income and i am definately not interested impressing anyone! Living debt free can be a challenge but its also easier to help save money when not in debt! I swear the other day, My neighbor and i were talking about money, and said to her, "define success!" and that money doesn't make one happy! Thanks as always for being awesome!!!
I’ve been debt free for over 16 years and I have to budget every month and always making sure I pay cash for mostly everything.
Agreed. The money we have does go further and we can fund some more goals, but, a monthly budget will always be a necessity.
We have been debt free for 18 months now. Totally debt free. And we are much happier. Being in debt stressed us out!! Much happier now!!
It does significantly reduce stress.
I've been semi binge watching you two, came across this title and thought to myself " oh, this should be good, lol", I was right.
I for one totally respect your debt free choice. My father tried to instill that ideal in me but it didnt really take. As I begin my retirement journey, I can only wish I were debt free now. Thanks for your advocacy.
What a great topic ! We’ve been debt free for several years & can vouch for every one of these points - no regrets of course . We do love the peace of mind & freedom it allows ( it has allowed us to be semi - retired ; running our business only half the year ) . Keep up the excellent work ! Larry ; I love your little ‘ vignette ‘ at the end ; I’ve begun to look forward to it !!!😊❤️😊
Thanks, Phyllis. We agree. Next week we'll talk about the truths of being debt-free. Peace of mind is definitely one of the top perks. Larry loves changing the background every week. He'll appreciate that you like his stories about the items.
Thank you for all that you do and the knowledge that you share !! May you always be blessed. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
You have to do what is best for you and your family. Who cares what others think.
So glad this episode came up in my feed!
I just wanted to pop in here and let you two know that you are a big hit! I'm a member of a frugal living facebook group and you two are mentioned repeatedly by people who are singing your praises. Everybody loves you, and they say Larry cracks them up. They are telling everyone to check out your channel. Great job you two, I'm loving the advice, the ebooks and the printables, they are really helping me. Thank you both.
Thanks so much! You just made my day!
I agree with everything you stated…so correct!The blooper is hilarious!!! I was dying laughing!
Happy anniversary you guys,have a wonderful celebration!
Thanks! We are combining Father's Day and our anniversary on Sunday when we can get all four boys together.
I love your discussion of joy and happiness and agree completely. I am interested in what else Larry observes on his breaks.
You both are spot on with the lies about becoming debt free. I hear arguments everyday on paying off the mortgage vs. investing. I'd rather pay off the mortgage, so I don't lose my home just in case I get laid off. The key word to staying debt free is money management. Thank you for sharing.
Debt free can slip away very easily if one does not budget. It slips away if there is no emergency fund in place.
Yes, that emergency fund is critical to success.
I agree about owning my home and cars- it feels good and really lowers stress. I know how much my 4 walls will cost in the case of unemployment or life change . I do feel happier being debt free because it lowers my anxiety. For me anxiety does dampen my happiness. Thank you for your videos ❤️. Even when I was stressed with debt- I felt hopeful by listening to videos like yours
Annie, you are very welcome. Thanks for sharing your perspective. For us, being debt free meant knowing that we could make ends meet while still living on a small income. That was super important to us.
We don't share with friends and family that our mortgage is payed off.like you explained,they tried to discourage you and that's because it's not their plan
Although we are still on our "journey" to becoming debt-free, I totally agree with your comments, especially having a budget. My sister refuses to budget and is in constant stress. She buys what she wants first each month and THEN pays the bills. At 58, she still has to have help from my mother to pay her bills each month (I know; my mom is an enabler. A whole nother story there). I prefer being stress-free and happy. Good points.
Keep on that journey, Cate. So sorry to hear about your sister. Maybe she will look at what you are doing and get inspired.
She will be in trouble if something happens to her mother
Such good advice zLarry and Hope, I appreciate you so much!!! Love from NY.
Thanks for hanging out with us, Sheila. We really appreciate it.
I stayed home with my daughter and it was great! When she was in middle and high school I subbed as a teacher Aid and we both had the same hours. And I totally agree with Y'All !
Pamela, that is the perfect job for a mom! My cousin was a school aid for years and when her girls were not in school, she was also off work. Perfect.
I totally agree with your list
I have to say that my financial situation is nothing to do with anyone else and other people's situation is nothing to do with me. I live a very simple life, I've struggled financially in years gone by, but now I'm OK. I could afford lots of things that others have and take a few holidays a year but my money would soon run out. Everything I need these days I can pay for cash and still have money left over.
Good for you, Monica! That's excellent.
I love you both! Your videos are always great and funny
I can’t agree more that having your house paid is a priority over investing money. Someone told us that too. The future is so unknown and employment and health can change your income so having no mortgage and having savings can help you deal with those situations. I love your outlook about not letting money decide your happiness. You are so great to watch…especially all the nostalgia. I look forward to your videos.
Noreen, you hit the nail on the head. Unexpected changes in the future were exactly why we felt it wise to get that house paid off. When Larry was laid off, we sure liked that feeling of not having a mortgage.
We drive a 2007 Chevy Aveo. Never thought it would last this long. 135,000 miles and going strong! Doesn’t impress anyone - DO NOT CARE!
Its nice not having a car payments😀😀😀😀
Yes, it is!
The pantry stock up workbook and something I read prompted me to look up the median income in America. My husband and I have been living under the median for years and I never realized it. And we’ve been living debt free for years as well. Life has been good! 👍🏻
Agree with you!
Maybe money don't make you happier, but having no money can make you very unhappy.
Agree!
I do agree with your points. I’m debt free too and I think I am more conservative with my money now because I know what I can accomplish. My happiness never came from money or things. Good show!
Thanks, Carlene. Good for you on being debt-free.
I love your advise. Thank you! 😍
You are very welcome. Our pleasure.
Sound advice! Thanks!
Thanks for watching, Annie.
I think the lie people tell themselves is that spending money in a way that others can see makes you happy. It doesn’t. I worked at one job where I understood that I had to appear to spend money-which I did not do-that appearance of spending but not spending was tricky to do. Being debt free for years, brings freedom and choices.
Work environments can be pretty tricky to navigate. There are a lot of assumptions that you will spend money on events, lunches, etc.
I would love to be that frumpy millionaire. LOL
LOL! They are amazing and interesting people and friends.
@@UndertheMedian that's the kind of people that get all my respect. They don't care about what other people think but man their bank account is sure to cause envy in those who know. I never understood my coworkers who make barely above minimum wage yet drive fancy cars and get all their lunches from restaurants every day.
Amen! Great words of wisdom and advice.
Thanks for watching!
How are you doing 😊😊😊👋😊
Love how you think much agree!!
We don't always agree. But, be've worked hard on positive communication in our marriage - even when we disagree. It's been 33 years. So, at this point we've had a lot of practice.
Great video guys
Thanks, Glenda!
I agree Happiness is a choice 😊
We have been 100% debt free ( home, cars etc) for the last 40 years. You do sleep better, knowing you don’t owe anyone
Debt free is definitely best! 🤗
It's been a blessing for us, for sure.
We have a Honda CR-V 2021 before the price went up on them too with 0 percent interest on it too !!! Our 2nd new car we ever bought in our lives !!!
To add to Larry's point about cars, my family wanted to get a convertible back in 2014. I knew it would enhance our day trips but knew there was no way I would buy new. During that winter I came across a 2009 Volvo C70 with low miles for $10,000. We are all still driving it today and we all enjoy the car as much now as we did when we first purchased it. The best part is my kids see the value and joy in what we have and have no interest in a new one.
Excellent, Tom! $10,200 is what I paid for the Honda Fit that I drive. Good going!
@@larryware1 Thanks Larry! A friend of mine has had the Honda Fit for many years and it is well over 100,000 miles so I would say it looks like you picked a good one! Like you I try my best to keep cars around 9 years. In my experience this is the time when the repairs get pricey and it's no longer worth it. I truly enjoy your videos and look forward to them.
@@toms6756 - They seem to be very good cars. I love the cargo space in it as well as the mileage. Plan to keep it a long time. So glad you are enjoying the videos.
We just paid off slot of debt we are now have a very reasonable house payment. Which is great but my husband sees all the extra money and wants to spend and not save. So having your money in order is the way to go. Planning is key, where a work in progress and yes we are saving for the first time.
Seeing savings as a big, green pile of money to be spent is a real temptation. Coming up with a set of written goals was the solution for us. Once we saw in writing that really that money already had a purpose, we quit spending it.
Just filled 8 4 gallon jugs of drinking water. About to fill larger containers with washing water.
I agree I will be debt free 2025 but am budgeting now and forevet
My friend decided to join a group where you never eat sugar or flour again for the rest of your life and they have meetings. She said she learned to tell herself I won't eat any sugar today, maybe I will tomorrow but I won't today. Then she'd say that to herself every day.
I'm thinking you can do the same thing and substitute the words with " Iwon't go further into debt" or "I won't spend any money" in place of the word sugar or flour.
I love your Frank posts and i watch daily to keep me motivated. Do you have any vids on spend free days to help to focus my mind on that
Thank you, Paula. No, we don't have any videos on that topic. Hope and I haven't practiced that discipline. We'll have to talk about it.
We do have a couple of series we did on how to be more frugal and save money on expenses, but we've not discussed the habit of deliberately practicing spend free days.
You had each other. A great combination
Thanks, Bridget. We learned to work together as a team, for sure.
We're working toward being debt free and, with the exception of our kids, no one in our family thinks it's a good idea. I have heard friends and family members say that we should never pay off our mortgage so we can have a tax break. Oh brother! Then there are other family members that are of the mentality that we should spend all our money and take fabulous vacations because we could die at any time. ☹ We are in a family of real winners here. They all spend like they are in congress. You hit the nail on the head Larry, happiness is a choice.
Thanks. Don't let the naysayers get you down. We heard the tax break objection a lot when we were paying off our first home. We just craved getting to the point that we knew as long as we could afford the taxes and upkeep, that the house was really ours. It was worth it.
Don't over explain is extremely important. Over explaining is exhausting and gets you no closer to approval! Gina in lights I learned the hard way!!
As you might imagine, I am the one to overexplains all the time, not Larry. He's pretty confident in who he is and doesn't care all that much if someone doesn't agree with him. I (Hope) am far more prone to wanting to be sure people like me (and approve of me).
Debt Free! But no Frumpy for me! Anniversary blessings upon you both!
You too are such a delight to watch!
LOL! definitely no frumpy for me either.
I respect both of you for the fact that you remained debt free. I wish I could say the same thing. I wish I would have knew some of these things especially about the budget. I thought I had it made and a good income. No need to budget and I believed many of these lies. If I just buy this thing we will be okay. The spending never stopped and the one big mistake I made which was the demise of my debt free living was when I purchased a vehicle and knowing it was wrong said, no problem "I can pay it off". Not only did I not pay the car off but that decision led to more debt. More reasoning for buying and thinking I can "pay it off".
Paying the car off (paid 10,000 since November) didn't happen until I seriously got on my knees and changed my lifestyle. God has since opened many doors for this to happen.
Thanks so much for sharing. Life isn't about never making mistakes (we all make them). It's about learning from them and getting back up on your feet. Sounds to me like you've learned valuable lessons and you are on your way to reaching your goals. Hang in there.
So today I finally printed out my copy of
When you solve your money problems, you've only solved your money problems. You still have all of your other problems; interpersonal, work, and political and societal problems. Obviously, you have a lot less stress when you don't have to worry about money. You won't have NO stress, and often have other stressers.
Yes! You're absolutely right.
I have found that people are impressed with our choices, accomplishments, progress, BUT they say, "But I could never do that."
We've heard, "But, I could never do that" a lot from others.
I owe 130K on my house and have no way to pay it off. I am retired and have serious health issues that pretty much preclude me working. Plus I have to be very vigilant about Covid. But why do I need a 1000 sq feet just for me? I don’t. So I haven’t decided yet, but I’m going to either rent or sell my house and move into my vehicle. That will free up $1k a month and then I will have some money to plan and budget with.
Think you could do a project
Family and friends think you have it easy, when you become debt free.
Yes! That's a good one. People definitely think that.
I'm debt free and still dumpster dive. Why not Free food for now and later. Free laundry detergent free body soap free salad free pickles, free eggs free cheese free black Forrest ham free breakfast sausage free pork roast free onions and tomatoes and potatoes and greens and broccoli and much more.
Do you have recipes for your pantry basics??
I have recipes on the website, but they aren't specific to the pantry basics workbook. Here's a link for find the recipes: underthemedian.com/category/cheap-eats/ Did you order the free pantry stock up workbook? I give the whole list of pantry basics in the workbook. underthemedian.com/pantry-stock-up/
My house is paid for.
Being debt free means you better maintain your discipline.
Most people buy things to keep up with their friends. Why people try to get approval from people I will never understand. As a Christian it is biblical not to be in debt. Follow GOD or man.
Our worldview and faith definitely intersect with the way and reasons we spend money.
I hated to hear these but they are the truth.
Hang in there, Tom. On Monday we're sharing five truths about being debt free. Those will definitely encourage you to keep moving forward.
Another lie about being debt free is that people who are debt free don’t have much of a life. You don’t have a fancy car or house, you don’t go to Europe fir Christmas. What fun do you have? You only live once!
Debt free= save just as before . Read the book millionaire next door.
What about your FICO or credit scores? Don't you worry about possibility needing a loan for an unexpected catastrophic expense?
Nope. We don't worry about it. We haven't used credit in many years. But, our score is actually still pretty high.
Being debt free means you have more money to drink. So find joy.
Would you try build one your son a eco house and film it?
Build an eco house?
If someone is a millionaire because he pinched cents his entire life, he is not really a millionaire, just being honest.
Anybody can live like a street dog his entire life, and maybe save up about $1 MIL by the time he is almost ready to depart the earth.
Real wealth is if you are able to generate enough income so that your multi-million dollar net worth is backed up by an appropriate monthly recurring income, so that if you spend a bit of that money you can still stay a millionaire
Lie: I will NEVER get into debt again! We have been debt-free before, but didn't learn our lessons well enough the first time. So now we are on debt-free journey #2... It's not a lot of money but the "debt load" is stressful on one income.
We are human and we all make mistakes. Good for you for dusting yourself off and creating a plan to pay off the debt.
We never share our Financial information with any one only between us.
we do say Frugality is the only way.
Living one day at a time, budget budget budget.......Absolutely being Debt free is a huge Relief, and Happiness is a choice AMEN !!!!
You make a valid point about knowing whom to share with. I think tended to overshare in an effort to show them that we really were "successful." We were always seen as the couple that didn't finish college and didn't reach our potential.
If you think you need more in order to be happy , you're sadly mistaken. The truth is you need to be happy with what you have now then you'll be happy if you have more
I don’t care what they think about it
I’m happier with my Chrysler 300 more than my Suzuki Aerio…. Just sayin’ 😄
LOL! We totally understand.
If your happy that's great it's good to be contentx
Just think yed be great at a project
Thank you, Bridget.
Is frumpy a real word?
It actually is: (from the on-line dictionary)
frump·y
/ˈfrəmpē/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
dowdy and old-fashioned (typically used of a woman or her clothes).
"I look like a frumpy mess"
Yep. It's a word. But, my kids think I make up words all the time. (and sometimes I do. LOL!)
I like the word frumpy it summs me up lol
Are guys millionaires already? Just wondering 🤔
We are not yet. But, thanks for asking.