No, that would be being dishonest toward them, I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, plus, you shouldn't marry or date someone who doesn't make you happy. I don't think looks necessarily determine if you are attracted to someone.
Some women will if the man has a lot of money, is tall and good in bed. But most men won’t date or marry women they are not attracted to. Men might sleep with ugly, fat women but won’t commit.
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌 I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
Honestly, I didn't find my husband attractive when we first met. But after hanging out with him and getting to know him, my attraction grew. And now, I honestly see him completely differently. I DO think he's attractive, and I tell him so all the time. People even made comments early in our relationship that I was "too pretty" for him, but now I see his kind eyes, and adorable smile, and just want to kiss his face all over lol
I NEED to be physically attracted to a guy in order to even consider dating him. Like if I can’t see myself kissing him, I cut it off. I wouldn’t be able to force myself to like someone, it’s not fair to me or that person
I can see your perspective but from experience looks get old real quick. A nice guy, loyal, stable, respectful and maybe some money never gets old 🤷🏽♀️
I dated a guy a few years ago who at first, wasn’t my type. Not that he was unattractive at all to me but he just didn’t jump out at me. The more I got to know him and learned who he was, I was hooked. Every little thing he did was so cute. I believe you need attraction, but looks fade and their personality will never change.
but he wasn't unattractive to you in the first place so this makes sense, I just believe you shouldn't force yourself to date someone you think is ugly because you might _start_ to like them lol
I actually dated someone that I was not physically attracted to, and he was very sweet. However, I just never “grew” physically attracted to him and I broke up with him 3 months later.
@@nthuthukomdluli1052 lol, maybe bc ppl are always trying to force ppl to give someone a chance even when they don't like them. Eg, date outside of your comfort zone
I tired dating a guy that I wasn’t attracted to and thought maybe I’m looking for love only in the physical and that’s why I’m missing out on the best love ever. Chileee he gave me more heartache and hell than the good looking ones and we didn’t even get that far. Moral of the story God will send you what you need packaged just the way he knows you need to see it. Don’t settle.
I dated a guy who I wasn’t attracted to at ALLLLL but he was the one that treated me literally like a queen (for the 3mos 💀) then I dated a guy who was fine asl and didn’t wanna take me out or ask about my life like the CHARACTER is what’s u need to rely on not their face
Being honest about physical attraction is not the problem, the problem is how terms like "dating down" and the habit of rating people's bodies with numbers have become so normalized. Talking about someone's body, man or woman, saying: "Yeah, he/she is a solid 7" is so insane.
I dated someone that was not attractive and I could never do it again . I don't mean to sound shallow or anything but once their personality starts to change , u jus have to deal with unattractive looks and their mean personality too. Smhhh. Epic fail.
"Go for the ugly dude because he'll treat you right" Says who? LOL. That's why I don't even give them the time of day because they get with a pretty girl, & all of a sudden wanna start treating them badly like no sweetie I don't think so. You're already ugly & so is your personality? Pick a struggle.
There are 4 types of people in this world (external internal): Beautiful beautiful Beautiful ugly Ugly beautiful Ugly ugly. If you’re ugly ugly or beautiful ugly, I really cannot even give you the time of day romantically... or in life. But beautiful beautiful and ugly beautiful people are so attractive. Something about a beautiful personality really transforms the external of a person.
@@Arsenalfan4ever you're a mess. 1. OP is gorgeous... look at that hair, that smile, those eyes. 2. Her point, which you clearly missed, is that even if someone is not outwardly what *you* consider beautful, inner beauty can change how you him/her.
I think looks matter to a certain extent. I personally couldn’t date someone that I’m NOT physically and sexually attracted to. However, looks aren’t everything. You can meet a man who is good looking but it is rude. If that’s the case, I’m not going to be interested in that man. Yes, looks matter to a certain extent but what is more important is personality. I need and want someone who I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to.
The ladies literally failed to understand the point. It's that regardless of physical appearance, men can be hurtful and not great partners. So you may as well date someone you're attracted to and not make it even harder for the relationship to get you excited.
Looks (and beauty by society's standard) don't necessarily matter, but ATTRACTION definitely does. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship for me and doesn't always rely on looks
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌 I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
Jeannie I watched that season of Married at First Sight too when it first aired and Jamie was really bawling her eyes out that she was not attracted to Doug. He turned out to be a nice guy and they are still together with a beautiful daughter. They are my favorite couple from the entire series so far.
Great discussion!! I’m always attracted to something. Not always physical because all the guys I’ve like don’t look alike. However, If someone wants to be physically attracted to whoever they like, I don’t think that’s bad. It shouldn’t stop them from getting to know the person. Could end up as friends too !
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌 I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
If you are only basing a relationship off of anything other than the amazing person with a dope personality that likes /loves you then it just ain’t gon work! Looks should matter but not too much that u overlook the other important stuff to decide if they’re good for u ! A relationship only based on physical attraction just won’t work
Are people you are attracted to, attracted to you? Or better still, are you your types type? It doesn’t always have to be about who you are attracted to.🤷♀️
YES... catch me with your face and style but KEEP me with your personality, morals and our values that align etc. SIMPLE... no debate. Persons who do not put themselves together will always rebut the argument. Package yourself to match the invaluable content you have inside and we shall not have this "debate" again...
A lot of people are ugly and their personality ugly too 😅 I’m more shocked when someone is beautiful both inside and out. And then there’s all kinds of in between so basically it’s about life being like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get hahaha
I never was in relationship w/ a man I wasn’t physically attracted to...y’all trippin 😭😂😂 now I probably went on a date just to see the vibes and the 1st date was always the last 🤷🏾♀️
Yes, looks are important to a certain extent No wants to be with anyone who doesn't take pride in their overall appearance Different people have different tastes but everyone wants to be with someone who looks good to them
Stoooop saying men are visual creatures that’s just an excuse for guys to be shallow. It’s so annoying ppl always romanticize ugly men with gorgeous women and NEVER the other way around. Women are allowed to be shallow too and shouldn’t get heat for wanting attractive men just like ppl understand how men want attractive women
The word is compatibility that people are looking for. It's one thing to get the attraction/attention initially, but always go a little deeper, so you can get to see the full picture of a person. You either might be surprised at what is great about them, or you could be saving yourself a whole lot of trouble or even danger.
so glad Adrienne spearheaded the convo that direction! she’s been doing it for a while with places she take the perspective. its becoming fine-tuned and im LIVING for every moment of it 🔥
I think as you get older, looks start to matter less. When I was in college I did not compromise when it came to looks but now other things such as employment status, education level and character take priority over looks.
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌 I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
but there are men who have been attracted to me, but, because I'm chubby, they keep it a secret and don't want to claim me. let's talk about THAT. our personal preferences exist, but social standarts of beauty do influence the dating scene, so even if you're beautiful, the pressure and shame people feel often get in the way of them being honest about who they're attracted to.
Of course they do, & whoever says otherwise is a liar lol. The majority of people say that their partners personality is what truly matters in a relationship, & I agree with that but that doesn't mean you have to settle for their personality if you feel repulsed everytime you look at them or they try to initiate any form of physical contact. Imagine trying to be with someone just because they're "a good person" but you can't stand them touching you or showing you affection? Why even be with them then? They're going to notice that & their feelings will get hurt. People wanna make it seem like you can either have someone that has a good personality, or that looks good... But not both. Idk where they get that idea from because it's not impossible to meet someone that's good looking & also a good person. But, yes. They do play a big part especially in the beginning stages of a relationship because looks is what drew you to them & if they had a good personality, that's what made you stay. I know almost everyone wants to be with someone that's good looking TO THEM, but they're just scared to admit it because they don't wanna be deemed as "shallow" But it's not being shallow, it's just being realistic & honest. At least that's my opinion on the matter.
Hell yeah! Well spoken! Here's what I believe: Looks do matter as long as one can maintain good habits and diet. Personality of the overall individual merely depends on how well one takes care of themselves. Looks and personality go hand and hand when it comes to attracting a mate
I think there are multiple things to consider here. The question isn't that straightforward. Is this about someone YOU find attractive vs someone generally considered attractive? There's the fact that attraction isn't just a physical thing. So if someone isn't generally considered attractive but you find a quality of theirs attractive then go for it.
In the beginning, perhaps. But later on you learn that's it's most important what's on the inside, as corny as that may sound. There's a song in spanish that loosely translated says: Even beauty gets boring! It's true!
*I have cursed several ppl out over my husband's looks* , he's handsome to me and no he doesn't have a 6 pack but, he treats me right, cooks, cleans and is one of the most intelligent man I've ever spoken with. Society really thinks if you are "good looking you are a good look", it's pathetic because, that is not what matters.
My personal opinion on this topic is that since I'm already physically challenged combined with the fact that guys have referred to me as ugly my entire life ...I'm much better off being single.
Fact : men say I love you first MORE THAN WOMEN because they fall TEND fall in love with look whist women fall in love with behavior. (This isn’t to say it’s like that in all cases but a lot)
I think it depends on the initial meeting. If you meet an unattractive dude in the club it's a cold meeting so you will reject them. But if you were in a setting where you got to know him attraction could grow.
Whatever man. It's like saying you like a turdman (fecal matter equivalent to a snowman) for its kind gentleness. No offense but the likes of you are too optimistic. In my book, and to most people, looks and personality go hand and hand. Maintain them both as best as you can
Yeah I've dated a lot of guys that were not the most attractive, but had great personality. I liked someone that was not cute at all, but he looked sexy to me playing the piano. You want to make sure that they have something that you find attractive, but Instagram has no affect on who I pick. I call myself girl next door cute and this one guy that I'm talking to told me. "I like you cause you have positive vibes". I was like, "Oh well there you go".
Reality is, looks do matter to an extent. Obviously, it’s not the ONLY thing that matters but yes they do matter because before we even interact with someone, the first thing we notice is how they look. It’s what we naturally do, we just gravitate to people we find attractive to us. Obviously, there has to be more substance after getting to know the person and if they have a bomb personality on top of what you find attractive then great! If it’s just looks, then move on and try again.
My opinion is from a man perspective. I think a man can absolutely have a relationship with someone they're not physically attracted to, ( maybe just for companionship, or financial reasons, etc.) But I believe for him to have true physical intimacy with a person there has to be some sort of visual physical aspect to serve as the point of turn on just to simply be able to get aroused to perform sexually. Men for the most part are indeed visual creatures and of course it would be impossible to have physical interaction if you can't even achieve and maintain arousal. Having a relationship with someone VS being attracted to someone,.. those two things are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
Tony Thornpill I think many women feel the same way. It’s easy to be in a relationship with a rich, successful man but harder to fall deeply in love if the man isn’t physically attractive and strong (masculine body structure)
Ok for me, I will admit that if I can't find a man who is attractive I won't date him, I'm sorry, yes I'm shallow and vain to a point. But you gotta find what's good for you
Dated an ugly cause he seemed nice. Got to know him a bit and he’s not nice at all. When arguments arose I would really question why the fk I’m with this terrible person who’s not even easy on the eyes. Dumped him months after. Now my minimum preference is that they have to be physically attractive
I think it depends on what you're looking for in a person. Their soul, personality and character and or their exterior shell. When I see my partner, I think, "Dang he's hot" because of the man he is inside. That's the main reason he's hot to me. I look at him and I love him. However, when I was younger I paid more attention to looks. But I learned that looks aren't as important as how a man will treat you or how he carries himself. I learned that beauty is honesty, honor, kindness and goodness. That's more beautiful and will make a person more attractive. So it depends on what you're looking for in a partner.
Looks do matter but if you stay in the shallow end of the pool you will never learn to swim..waiting on Jason Momoa or Heather Locklear to teach you . I know I’m not a 10 when it comes to looks and I can’t change that ...but the parts that you remember the parts that have the most weight ...how I make you feel and how I treat you ...definitely a 10
it would tear me (as it is) if as a woman i suspected that i am not the usual type that my man goes for. I need to know that you genuinely find me physically attractive, as i am convinced that you like my personality etc.
Attraction isn't always in the physical. Sometimes it's in the swag. You know how sometimes you wonder, how in the world does this guy attract so many women? He's not even cute!! How did he get a wife/girlfriend that looks like this? Hey, it's his persona, maybe the way he carries himself, he has that appeal.
As a man, I need from a lady. A perspective from your point of view. Any advice is fine. If I am wrong, be honest. (sorry if it is a bit long, but hopefully it helps) I have been with my lady for 2+ years. We have come to the point that I feel we can do more and receive more if we explore more. She feels that it is better to live a "straight-line" life and maybe something could change along the way. Because of this, my sexual attraction/feelings have shifted and find myself questioning if we will have those micro-disagreements that will eventually be our fall out because often we think so differently (we both come from different parts of the world on top of it all, so there is culture, too). We have had the "talk" and are very honest with each other. Moreover, she said because she is with me, she no longer has the urge to exercise or really "take care" of herself because she is so comfortable around me. But because we are so opposite, there is myself who loves to exercise and stay up-to-date with what is happening. Today, hence why I am here is because we broke it off. I don't want to. She doesn't either. And on a small scale is what was said above. Are we or am I making the wrong choice to let her go and to try and find someone more "suitable" for my interests and desires? After all, I want to explore the world with a person I care about and who shares the same interests, assuming most others do too. If I am wrong, lay it on me, ladies.
I'm guilty of this! Always went after the good looking guy. I have to be attracted first I'm sorry. I never liked the " nice guy" that always came after me. Good looking ones ended up being jersey and I'm single. Think this is the problem. My own fault
I agree with Jeannie, they’re men who don’t care if they like you, they like you. Some men feel like if you’re pretty but we don’t connect, I’m not dating you lol.
I need substance. Character/personality all day everyday. If I'm drawn to their character, I'll find them sexy. As the saying goes, looks will fade.....
I wasn't initially attracted to my boyfriend. I thought he was weird. But then I got to know him, and found out how amazing he was. Sometimes we let certain insignificant reasons stop us from meeting great people. Now I see him with more than my eyes♥️
People should just do whatever they want. Looks matter to some people and looks don't matter to others. I do agree with Garcelle, you have to be attracted to something about that person in the least.
hmm there also something to be consider what that Chinese girl was saying sorry do not her know name.. is call 'acquired taste' and these can work anywhere with anything u can start enjoying anything even a pain just a example etc.. you initially will not like somking or drinking or dark black coffee at first doing .. but u start to develop then taste of it.. and now u like and people might call u weird for that enjoyment.. acquired taste these is how i believe attraction also had to do with as from childhood things we more observed surroundings movies , P*** , animes , local peoples as we have developed such taste of attraction.. also remember opposite also attract more or less basically u get bored with what u see or taste and u need bit quite that opposite or change.. and for someone not being able attract towards dark skin colour person is totally normal because that person just not build that taste. as being Indian living i do not mind of course dating any Indian girl.. but other countries can be bit harder for them.. or maybe not because we quite everywhere seen now hahahaa .. last want to say these acquired taste depend person to person and some can adept soon some can take quite years to naturally say ohyes u can push someone limit from 90 to 100 but do not expect 10 to 100 ... forgot aliens if u reading and any human will not like u hahahaa not anytime soon.. and if you think your ugly get person who enjoy horror movie they will natural find you beautiful hahahaa.. so there every match for every one.. :) i being very realist practical and scientific so sorry but no sorry .. at least give me like for writing so much ..
They matter to an extent, but it doesn’t keep a relationship going to be honest. My last partner was extremely handsome, but he ended up being absuive and I had to leave. For me, a person how they treat me is more important than how they simply look. But I definitely should be attracted to him, in some way, whatever that may mean...
Some people date folks who they find romantically attractive, sexually attractive or both. Figure out what you like. Dont date someone you find ugly though.
My sister-in-law started dating a guy who she never saw herself with. Ever. Four years later, he became her first husband and the best father to her kids. It's better for the person to have the perfect personality, rather than the perfect body. Just saying 😌!!!
Of course looks matter in a relationship... u have 2 be attracted 2 the person physically BUT it is not all about looks there has 2 be other factors there also I find my partner attractive not only cuz his Hot in my eyes but also his behaviour his personality & little things that he does ❤️
Could you date or marry someone you’re not attracted to?
No, that would be being dishonest toward them, I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, plus, you shouldn't marry or date someone who doesn't make you happy. I don't think looks necessarily determine if you are attracted to someone.
I think I could do it because I feel as tho it depends if they make me laugh or their personality is attractive.
Nope! I think my husband is the ultimate snack 😋
i will give it time. but if still not working i would dump the guy.
Some women will if the man has a lot of money, is tall and good in bed. But most men won’t date or marry women they are not attracted to. Men might sleep with ugly, fat women but won’t commit.
Some people begin to look more beautiful and attractive after a bit more time of interacting with them
Exactly!
Facts. Beautiful heart and beautiful soul is what attracts me 💯
Absolutely
Yes !!
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol
But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌
I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
To an extent. But it shouldn’t be the only reason you’re with them.
💯
Honestly, I didn't find my husband attractive when we first met. But after hanging out with him and getting to know him, my attraction grew. And now, I honestly see him completely differently. I DO think he's attractive, and I tell him so all the time. People even made comments early in our relationship that I was "too pretty" for him, but now I see his kind eyes, and adorable smile, and just want to kiss his face all over lol
Aw you’re so sweet💕
So sweet!!
Aww 💕
aww this is cute!
TOO SWEET 🥺
I NEED to be physically attracted to a guy in order to even consider dating him. Like if I can’t see myself kissing him, I cut it off. I wouldn’t be able to force myself to like someone, it’s not fair to me or that person
Agreed
Preach! Im the same way 👍👍👍
I can see your perspective but from experience looks get old real quick. A nice guy, loyal, stable, respectful and maybe some money never gets old 🤷🏽♀️
Agreed !!!
th-cam.com/video/3Kji-J--VRg/w-d-xo.html
physical attraction can be the start to a relationship but should not be the foundation
I dated a guy a few years ago who at first, wasn’t my type. Not that he was unattractive at all to me but he just didn’t jump out at me. The more I got to know him and learned who he was, I was hooked. Every little thing he did was so cute. I believe you need attraction, but looks fade and their personality will never change.
but he wasn't unattractive to you in the first place so this makes sense, I just believe you shouldn't force yourself to date someone you think is ugly because you might _start_ to like them lol
Basically the average looking guy a 5-6
They do matter. Dont only worry about looks, but they matter
soooo trueeeeee
Good looks and being attractive are very different things yall.
Yep as I don't go for the too handsome, but I must find you attractive!
@@ToniaAlex13 exactly.
Brilliantly said 👏🏾👏🏾
Say it again for the cheap seats in the back!
@@sweettee6827 "Cheap seats" lol 😆
I actually dated someone that I was not physically attracted to, and he was very sweet. However, I just never “grew” physically attracted to him and I broke up with him 3 months later.
I had a very similar experience. I just could not go beyond three months!
I tried that but after a week of talking he tried to kiss me and I was sick to my stomach lol.
@@Prince_the_One LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Y'all are rude,why would u be with someone u don't find attractive ,shame on U
@@nthuthukomdluli1052 lol, maybe bc ppl are always trying to force ppl to give someone a chance even when they don't like them. Eg, date outside of your comfort zone
I tired dating a guy that I wasn’t attracted to and thought maybe I’m looking for love only in the physical and that’s why I’m missing out on the best love ever. Chileee he gave me more heartache and hell than the good looking ones and we didn’t even get that far. Moral of the story God will send you what you need packaged just the way he knows you need to see it. Don’t settle.
your comment is so good. So have you found your person?
I dated a guy who I wasn’t attracted to at ALLLLL but he was the one that treated me literally like a queen (for the 3mos 💀) then I dated a guy who was fine asl and didn’t wanna take me out or ask about my life like the CHARACTER is what’s u need to rely on not their face
Why not both 🤷🏾♂️
@@Prince_the_One def both but if I had to choose it’ll always be character/personality for me
why only 3 months
@@ChatiseE because he’s a libra once the honey moon stage over 🚪🏃🏿♂️
@@tamerilee so he left you? Or you left him? I was thinking a nice guy should be a keeper
Being honest about physical attraction is not the problem, the problem is how terms like "dating down" and the habit of rating people's bodies with numbers have become so normalized. Talking about someone's body, man or woman, saying: "Yeah, he/she is a solid 7" is so insane.
I dated someone that was not attractive and I could never do it again . I don't mean to sound shallow or anything but once their personality starts to change , u jus have to deal with unattractive looks and their mean personality too. Smhhh. Epic fail.
💯 😭
..my sentiments exActly!
Lmfaooo! 😅🤣
Hah! 🤣🤣🤣
"Go for the ugly dude because he'll treat you right" Says who? LOL. That's why I don't even give them the time of day because they get with a pretty girl, & all of a sudden wanna start treating them badly like no sweetie I don't think so. You're already ugly & so is your personality? Pick a struggle.
Men aren’t the only visual creatures - women are too! I sure am - I hate when the world says that!!
I hate that too, most women i knew were visual af, including my gf, who are people kiding when they say men are the only visual creatures.
Yeah human are eyes and they find good looking faces and body attractive
There are 4 types of people in this world (external internal):
Beautiful beautiful
Beautiful ugly
Ugly beautiful
Ugly ugly.
If you’re ugly ugly or beautiful ugly, I really cannot even give you the time of day romantically... or in life. But beautiful beautiful and ugly beautiful people are so attractive. Something about a beautiful personality really transforms the external of a person.
💯
That’s not true. Judging by your picture people would call you unattractive
@@Arsenalfan4ever you're a mess.
1. OP is gorgeous... look at that hair, that smile, those eyes.
2. Her point, which you clearly missed, is that even if someone is not outwardly what *you* consider beautful, inner beauty can change how you him/her.
Never settle!!! That’s all I have to say. Make sure you are okay with your decision to be with someone.
I think looks matter to a certain extent. I personally couldn’t date someone that I’m NOT physically and sexually attracted to. However, looks aren’t everything. You can meet a man who is good looking but it is rude. If that’s the case, I’m not going to be interested in that man. Yes, looks matter to a certain extent but what is more important is personality. I need and want someone who I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to.
The ladies literally failed to understand the point. It's that regardless of physical appearance, men can be hurtful and not great partners. So you may as well date someone you're attracted to and not make it even harder for the relationship to get you excited.
🙌
Try weebs they are soft
Looks (and beauty by society's standard) don't necessarily matter, but ATTRACTION definitely does. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship for me and doesn't always rely on looks
Absolutely
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol
But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌
I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
I agree
Physical attractiveness = looks
@@Ksyed7124 yeah but attraction different than looks … most people favourite food isn’t the beautiful gourmet caviar ;)
Jeannie I watched that season of Married at First Sight too when it first aired and Jamie was really bawling her eyes out that she was not attracted to Doug. He turned out to be a nice guy and they are still together with a beautiful daughter. They are my favorite couple from the entire series so far.
Great discussion!! I’m always attracted to something. Not always physical because all the guys I’ve like don’t look alike. However, If someone wants to be physically attracted to whoever they like, I don’t think that’s bad. It shouldn’t stop them from getting to know the person. Could end up as friends too !
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol
But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌
I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
Adrienne doesn't get the point of the conversation. If YOU don't find him attractive at all, would you date him?
Adrienne always tells on herself cus Israel sure was her project 🤣🤣
Ohh girl....you said it
🤣🤣🤣
That's messed up lmao
If you are only basing a relationship off of anything other than the amazing person with a dope personality that likes /loves you then it just ain’t gon work! Looks should matter but not too much that u overlook the other important stuff to decide if they’re good for u ! A relationship only based on physical attraction just won’t work
Are people you are attracted to, attracted to you?
Or better still, are you your types type?
It doesn’t always have to be about who you are attracted to.🤷♀️
Society downplays the extent to which women are also visual creatures.
Once and for all, YES, they do. To different degrees among different people
YES... catch me with your face and style but KEEP me with your personality, morals and our values that align etc. SIMPLE... no debate. Persons who do not put themselves together will always rebut the argument. Package yourself to match the invaluable content you have inside and we shall not have this "debate" again...
A lot of people are ugly and their personality ugly too 😅 I’m more shocked when someone is beautiful both inside and out. And then there’s all kinds of in between so basically it’s about life being like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get hahaha
Facts
I never was in relationship w/ a man I wasn’t physically attracted to...y’all trippin 😭😂😂 now I probably went on a date just to see the vibes and the 1st date was always the last 🤷🏾♀️
Loni, we are visual creatures as well.
I had to go watch the clips of the show Jeannie was talking about. I'm so glad the couple worked out!! The guy seems like a sweetheart.
Is Loni referring to Kevin Samuels? 😂😂 I spoke about his bad vibes message on hypergamy in my last podcast episode (Loud It podcast on Spotify).
Yes, looks are important to a certain extent
No wants to be with anyone who doesn't take pride in their overall appearance
Different people have different tastes but everyone wants to be with someone who looks good to them
Stoooop saying men are visual creatures that’s just an excuse for guys to be shallow. It’s so annoying ppl always romanticize ugly men with gorgeous women and NEVER the other way around. Women are allowed to be shallow too and shouldn’t get heat for wanting attractive men just like ppl understand how men want attractive women
The word is compatibility that people are looking for. It's one thing to get the attraction/attention initially, but always go a little deeper, so you can get to see the full picture of a person. You either might be surprised at what is great about them, or you could be saving yourself a whole lot of trouble or even danger.
TRUE
so glad Adrienne spearheaded the convo that direction! she’s been doing it for a while with places she take the perspective. its becoming fine-tuned and im LIVING for every moment of it 🔥
Married at first sight is such a good show. Also love after lockup is peak trash reality tv.
I think as you get older, looks start to matter less. When I was in college I did not compromise when it came to looks but now other things such as employment status, education level and character take priority over looks.
Yes🙏
I think so too.
Loni was trying to say Kevin Samuels at the end there lol
But anyways, I think you should date and marry whoever you find attractive in whatever way you find them attractive - overall just do you boo 👌
I personally think women should be more visual in dating and more men should get to know women’s personalities because my Mom married my Dad for his personality and I came out ugly, so there you go 💁🏽♀️
@@sammierose1150 Lmaooo I’m sorry that’s funny but tbh you’re actually very good looking so mom did just fine
I agree
but there are men who have been attracted to me, but, because I'm chubby, they keep it a secret and don't want to claim me. let's talk about THAT. our personal preferences exist, but social standarts of beauty do influence the dating scene, so even if you're beautiful, the pressure and shame people feel often get in the way of them being honest about who they're attracted to.
I agree with this talk 💕❤️ some type of attraction is key.
The colors on the ladies look so pretty 😍😍
Of course they do, & whoever says otherwise is a liar lol. The majority of people say that their partners personality is what truly matters in a relationship, & I agree with that but that doesn't mean you have to settle for their personality if you feel repulsed everytime you look at them or they try to initiate any form of physical contact. Imagine trying to be with someone just because they're "a good person" but you can't stand them touching you or showing you affection? Why even be with them then? They're going to notice that & their feelings will get hurt. People wanna make it seem like you can either have someone that has a good personality, or that looks good... But not both. Idk where they get that idea from because it's not impossible to meet someone that's good looking & also a good person. But, yes. They do play a big part especially in the beginning stages of a relationship because looks is what drew you to them & if they had a good personality, that's what made you stay. I know almost everyone wants to be with someone that's good looking TO THEM, but they're just scared to admit it because they don't wanna be deemed as "shallow" But it's not being shallow, it's just being realistic & honest. At least that's my opinion on the matter.
Hell yeah! Well spoken!
Here's what I believe: Looks do matter as long as one can maintain good habits and diet. Personality of the overall individual merely depends on how well one takes care of themselves. Looks and personality go hand and hand when it comes to attracting a mate
@@jessemorata648 They really do, I just wish people would stop lying & saying otherwise. Lol but to each their own I guess.
FYI - women were taught to accept what they see or have. Men were taught to have a pick of the litter. 🤦🏾♀️
I think there are multiple things to consider here. The question isn't that straightforward. Is this about someone YOU find attractive vs someone generally considered attractive? There's the fact that attraction isn't just a physical thing. So if someone isn't generally considered attractive but you find a quality of theirs attractive then go for it.
Or is it someone society deems attractive
This comment right here 💯🎯
In the beginning, perhaps. But later on you learn that's it's most important what's on the inside, as corny as that may sound. There's a song in spanish that loosely translated says: Even beauty gets boring!
It's true!
I agree.
*I have cursed several ppl out over my husband's looks* , he's handsome to me and no he doesn't have a 6 pack but, he treats me right, cooks, cleans and is one of the most intelligent man I've ever spoken with. Society really thinks if you are "good looking you are a good look", it's pathetic because, that is not what matters.
My personal opinion on this topic is that since I'm already physically challenged combined with the fact that guys have referred to me as ugly my entire life ...I'm much better off being single.
"Get to know them and you will find something beautiful about them if they're meant for you"
What a beautiful quote! I'm just stunned 👏👏👏👏👏
Fact : men say I love you first MORE THAN WOMEN because they fall TEND fall in love with look whist women fall in love with behavior. (This isn’t to say it’s like that in all cases but a lot)
Dating down is a huuuuuuuge mistake!!!
Good looks and attractiveness are are totally different
Looks are important but not the most important thing. That woman will never find love. She has to stop being shallow.
I think it depends on the initial meeting. If you meet an unattractive dude in the club it's a cold meeting so you will reject them. But if you were in a setting where you got to know him attraction could grow.
Yea don’t lead people on. If you dont want them someone else will.
What first attracted me to my wife is her KINDNESS. From there she became extremely attractive!
Love this 😊
Whatever man. It's like saying you like a turdman (fecal matter equivalent to a snowman) for its kind gentleness.
No offense but the likes of you are too optimistic.
In my book, and to most people, looks and personality go hand and hand. Maintain them both as best as you can
what kindness did she display on the first date??
Yeah I've dated a lot of guys that were not the most attractive, but had great personality. I liked someone that was not cute at all, but he looked sexy to me playing the piano. You want to make sure that they have something that you find attractive, but Instagram has no affect on who I pick. I call myself girl next door cute and this one guy that I'm talking to told me. "I like you cause you have positive vibes". I was like, "Oh well there you go".
Reality is, looks do matter to an extent. Obviously, it’s not the ONLY thing that matters but yes they do matter because before we even interact with someone, the first thing we notice is how they look. It’s what we naturally do, we just gravitate to people we find attractive to us. Obviously, there has to be more substance after getting to know the person and if they have a bomb personality on top of what you find attractive then great! If it’s just looks, then move on and try again.
My opinion is from a man perspective. I think a man can absolutely have a relationship with someone they're not physically attracted to, ( maybe just for companionship, or financial reasons, etc.) But I believe for him to have true physical intimacy with a person there has to be some sort of visual physical aspect to serve as the point of turn on just to simply be able to get aroused to perform sexually. Men for the most part are indeed visual creatures and of course it would be impossible to have physical interaction if you can't even achieve and maintain arousal. Having a relationship with someone VS being attracted to someone,.. those two things are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
I’m a woman and feel the same way
Tony Thornpill I think many women feel the same way. It’s easy to be in a relationship with a rich, successful man but harder to fall deeply in love if the man isn’t physically attractive and strong (masculine body structure)
Ok for me, I will admit that if I can't find a man who is attractive I won't date him, I'm sorry, yes I'm shallow and vain to a point. But you gotta find what's good for you
I dated a guy that was extremely unattractive but in his head he thought he was Gods gift to women and treated me like trash.
Looks do matter!!
It’s a mix of looks and personality. Like their heart can make them 10x more attractive ♥️♥️♥️
Lmaooo when Adrienne screamed & said they ugly lmaoooo I thought that was kind of a laughing moment tbh so why didn’t they laugh tbh 😊☺️
Dated an ugly cause he seemed nice. Got to know him a bit and he’s not nice at all. When arguments arose I would really question why the fk I’m with this terrible person who’s not even easy on the eyes. Dumped him months after.
Now my minimum preference is that they have to be physically attractive
NAWT LONI CALLING OUT KEVIN SAMUEL LMAOOOOO
Looking for this comment. 😂😂😂😂 that guy is ....yeah......
Omg I caught that too !!!!! Hahaha !!!!
LMAOO she absolutely did cause he came for her first 😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@justSymiah Oh my gosh, he made some nasty comments about Loni's appearance
Looks matter but it's not all that matters. Hope this helps.
I think it depends on what you're looking for in a person. Their soul, personality and character and or their exterior shell. When I see my partner, I think, "Dang he's hot" because of the man he is inside. That's the main reason he's hot to me. I look at him and I love him. However, when I was younger I paid more attention to looks. But I learned that looks aren't as important as how a man will treat you or how he carries himself. I learned that beauty is honesty, honor, kindness and goodness. That's more beautiful and will make a person more attractive. So it depends on what you're looking for in a partner.
I always date guys that are less attractive than me. It means less work for me.
Looks do matter but if you stay in the shallow end of the pool you will never learn to swim..waiting on Jason Momoa or Heather Locklear to teach you .
I know I’m not a 10 when it comes to looks and I can’t change that ...but the parts that you remember the parts that have the most weight ...how I make you feel and how I treat you ...definitely a 10
it would tear me (as it is) if as a woman i suspected that i am not the usual type that my man goes for. I need to know that you genuinely find me physically attractive, as i am convinced that you like my personality etc.
Attraction isn't always in the physical. Sometimes it's in the swag. You know how sometimes you wonder, how in the world does this guy attract so many women? He's not even cute!! How did he get a wife/girlfriend that looks like this? Hey, it's his persona, maybe the way he carries himself, he has that appeal.
As a man, I need from a lady. A perspective from your point of view. Any advice is fine. If I am wrong, be honest. (sorry if it is a bit long, but hopefully it helps)
I have been with my lady for 2+ years. We have come to the point that I feel we can do more and receive more if we explore more. She feels that it is better to live a "straight-line" life and maybe something could change along the way. Because of this, my sexual attraction/feelings have shifted and find myself questioning if we will have those micro-disagreements that will eventually be our fall out because often we think so differently (we both come from different parts of the world on top of it all, so there is culture, too). We have had the "talk" and are very honest with each other.
Moreover, she said because she is with me, she no longer has the urge to exercise or really "take care" of herself because she is so comfortable around me. But because we are so opposite, there is myself who loves to exercise and stay up-to-date with what is happening.
Today, hence why I am here is because we broke it off. I don't want to. She doesn't either. And on a small scale is what was said above. Are we or am I making the wrong choice to let her go and to try and find someone more "suitable" for my interests and desires? After all, I want to explore the world with a person I care about and who shares the same interests, assuming most others do too. If I am wrong, lay it on me, ladies.
You have to be somewhat attracted to the person. Come on y’all...be honest
The confusion at :55 to :59 😂😂😂 “What?”
When you date someone unattractive, they start thinking they’re the prize lol
a successful and wealthy man will always be attractive to women, no matter what he looks like
Yes they matter when someone is looking for a spouse before you're a senior citizen.
I'm guilty of this! Always went after the good looking guy. I have to be attracted first I'm sorry. I never liked the " nice guy" that always came after me. Good looking ones ended up being jersey and I'm single. Think this is the problem. My own fault
Adrienne always misses the point
Always 🤘🤘
I agree with Jeannie, they’re men who don’t care if they like you, they like you. Some men feel like if you’re pretty but we don’t connect, I’m not dating you lol.
Very very well said Jeanie.
Spoiler alerts Jeannie!! I only on episode 6 of the first season lol. 100% agree though. Attractions shouldn’t solely be physical. End of discussion.
I need substance. Character/personality all day everyday. If I'm drawn to their character, I'll find them sexy. As the saying goes, looks will fade.....
I wasn't initially attracted to my boyfriend. I thought he was weird. But then I got to know him, and found out how amazing he was. Sometimes we let certain insignificant reasons stop us from meeting great people. Now I see him with more than my eyes♥️
People should just do whatever they want. Looks matter to some people and looks don't matter to others. I do agree with Garcelle, you have to be attracted to something about that person in the least.
hmm there also something to be consider what that Chinese girl was saying sorry do not her know name.. is call 'acquired taste' and these can work anywhere with anything u can start enjoying anything even a pain just a example etc.. you initially will not like somking or drinking or dark black coffee at first doing .. but u start to develop then taste of it.. and now u like and people might call u weird for that enjoyment.. acquired taste these is how i believe attraction also had to do with as from childhood things we more observed surroundings movies , P*** , animes , local peoples as we have developed such taste of attraction..
also remember opposite also attract more or less basically u get bored with what u see or taste and u need bit quite that opposite or change.. and for someone not being able attract towards dark skin colour person is totally normal because that person just not build that taste.
as being Indian living i do not mind of course dating any Indian girl.. but other countries can be bit harder for them.. or maybe not because we quite everywhere seen now hahahaa ..
last want to say these acquired taste depend person to person and some can adept soon some can take quite years to naturally say ohyes u can push someone limit from 90 to 100 but do not expect 10 to 100 ... forgot aliens if u reading and any human will not like u hahahaa not anytime soon..
and if you think your ugly get person who enjoy horror movie they will natural find you beautiful hahahaa..
so there every match for every one.. :)
i being very realist practical and scientific so sorry but no sorry .. at least give me like for writing so much ..
They matter to an extent, but it doesn’t keep a relationship going to be honest. My last partner was extremely handsome, but he ended up being absuive and I had to leave. For me, a person how they treat me is more important than how they simply look. But I definitely should be attracted to him, in some way, whatever that may mean...
Some people date folks who they find romantically attractive, sexually attractive or both. Figure out what you like. Dont date someone you find ugly though.
It DOES matter!!! And Jeannie didn’t allow Loni to get a word in here My God!
My sister-in-law started dating a guy who she never saw herself with. Ever. Four years later, he became her first husband and the best father to her kids. It's better for the person to have the perfect personality, rather than the perfect body. Just saying 😌!!!
Thank you so much for this video a really help me
Looks matter, but there are a they elements that can Be more importar.
I had no idea bow legged guys were a thing 😳😳 my my u learn something new everyday 😂
Personality makes people attractive,there's attractive people but once you get to know they aren't attractive anymore like come one,be mature
Loni your so right 100%
This exactly similar to what I posted on my fb pg...cuz I feel if we all did...it would be lessen divorces, bms, bds, stds, and cheating in the world.
Of course looks matter in a relationship...
u have 2 be attracted 2 the person physically BUT it is not all about looks there has 2 be other factors there also
I find my partner attractive not only cuz his Hot in my eyes but also his behaviour his personality & little things that he does ❤️
I always feel bad but I definitely need to be physically and sexually attracted to the man or else he’s just a friend? Lol