Bystander Effect: That reminds me of the first aid training I had to take for my driver's licence. And the instructor told us that, if we're trying to help someone and there are others around, don't say "Someone call an ambulance!" but to point at someone and say "You! Call an ambulance!" This way the responsibilty is on that person, and it's not a guessing game of "oh I'm sure someone of the other bystands will make the call".
@@MariaMartinez-researcher If you can. It's a little hard to do CPR or stop bleeding with one hand. Even if you have it on speaker, it's still a mental distraction
@@MariaMartinez-researcher But the point is that the person is rendering life-saving aid (CPR, stopping a bleed, etc.) and cannot call for an ambulance without negatively affecting the victim's wellbeing. Of course, if you are one of the bystanders...yes, make the call without being prompted. However, that wasn't the point in his/her first-aid training.
I had a repressed memory of an event as a 6 yr old when a rogue wave washed up a beach in Oregon and floated me in the the middle of a bunch of large logs. My father was able to grab me so I didn't get crushed or washed out to sea. I 'found out' in my late 20s as I was telling my mother, on the phone, about how I only canoed in lakes and rivers because I didn't like the ocean much. She said, "Well, that makes sense. Remember Thanksgiving at Driftwood Shores when that wave washed up the beach and Dad pulled you out of the surf?" I remembered in a split second, I 'saw' it happening. I was shocked and instantly had tears streaming down my face. As far as I can tell, I had never had any memory of that event until she said it- and then I did. It's still 'out of order' in my head, it's a memory from my 20s to me. I've always had a lot of memories from my childhood, even from Driftwood Shores (we only went twice in 2 years)- like when I attacked my brother with a cheese slicer. I never repressed that, I remember each time he pushed me too far. I think.
It isnt surprising if you just simply forgot because you didn't actually use the memory more than it was repressed. My kids' have a younger half brother. He likes being I the water but hates it when his head gets wet or it the water gets deep enough that he can't stand. Im not too surprised. When he was like 3 or so, a lot of us were at a larger birthday party for one of their cousins that took place at a public pool. He swam out and away from everyone else. I was the first on eat see him and to see him go under, other than the life guard. I was closer so I passed my daughter off to an adult (also with the party,) and swam over to get him out of the water. If you ask him he says he doesn't really remeber it happening, except vaguely when he was1st told about it. But it did happen.
@@Insertia_Nameia When I was 2, my mother was working at a YMCA pool in Maine. They let her bring me and, once when she wasn't watching, I ended up in the pool. I've always remembered looking up at the surface of the water as I sank. I was calm, didn't get water in my lungs. I remember her breaking the surface of the water as she dove in for me. I know this is what happened because we talked about it when I was a little older (no memory on either side of the event, just me sinking and my mother diving in). No trauma, and I've always remembered this from such a young age. This is in stark contrast to the terror I suppressed, which I remembered in detail the instant my mother mentioned it 20 years later. My parents were avid whitewater kayakers and I grew up in the water- I've never had any fear of swimming, diving, or drowning- just not liking going out in the ocean in a small boat. I don't even know if they're connected, but it made my mother mention the event. There is a difference to forgetting/not remembering and repressing. I understand this is hard to internalize unless an individual has experienced such themselves. As I said, to me this is a memory from my 20s. This is the only thing I've ever 'remembered' that doesn't fit properly into the chronology of my internal timeline, it 'happened' the day I remembered it.
But then there's the issue of one actually imagining perfectly compatible imagery to an experience they have been through and later forgotten, versus the memory been actively repressed. I often find myself trying to remember stuff, and as I conceive of having done something or seen something, it's still hard to tell whether it's a memory or something I'm making up. It can perfectly be the case that I'll often just re-imagine things that I've done, not really remembering. In the other hand, there's some research saying that ironically we remember more perfectly things we don't really consciously remind ourselves of often. Remembering things is not just "reading" but also re-writing the memory itself, subtly distorting it over time. Whereas stored memory that was never recalled is potentially more intact. There's a question of how long it really lasts, though, since things like dreaming and recalling are also strengthening the wiring of memories. There are different types of memories. Kind of like a video file in a computer is not a single thing, but actually has the video track and the audio track as separate files, in a container file, that artificially binds them together for ease of use. One can have lost the "narrative" memory of an event, but still have emotional memories, and associations. An example was one of those rare instances of people who have suffered some brain injury and were no longer able to form long-term memories, like living in an never-ending present and always getting surprised about how old you look in the mirror. One of those people, had his daughter visiting him from time to time, and sometimes she would stand by for a long while with him, then go to the kitchen or to the bathroom for a minute or so before saying goodbye and going away, and that would make her father very frustrated, as he thought she had been there just to go to the bathroom, not even talking to him. He would soon forget, but for the rest of the day he'd be on a bad mood, and not even know why. At some point they (plus some researcher or MD) figured out it was going on, and then she made sure to say goodbye only immediately after being with him for longer, not after any interval. Similarly, seeing dramatic movies also affects people in a way that lasts longer than we generally think of having been affected by it. There's like an inertia of brain chemistry going on, but then that's more of a short term thing, rather than a traumatic association that persists wired to some degree.
I was subjected to an IQ test when I was being tested for ADHD and I was told by the doctor that I was “too smart” and “successful in school” (all A and A- s) to have any issues with keeping focused on things. Just because school was easy when I actually *did the work* doesn’t mean it was at all easy to actually get that work done. Also didn’t take into account the fact that I dropped out of all of my AP classes because I was struggling so much with the workload. I need to get tested again now that I’m not in school and they can’t use my apparent success against me.
Same, adhd seems to be very common these days, maybe because of social media . When I'm motivated to study, the studying itself and learning is actual very sweet and easy for me, not matter how "hard" the topic is, if I'm motivated , it'll be easy. But I'm not usually motivated (probably because of my adhd) and the hardest thing about studying is focusing and not getting distracted for me. Or maybe I don't have adhd and I'm not just f**Ked by the overstimulation and over release of Domaine because of social media. If that's the case, it means I have to leave it for sometime to decrease my brain's expectation of how much dopamine should be released wheb doing sth enjoyable
That is called an Ongoing Crisis or a Philosophical Crisis, which are both names I have just made up. Take a few days to dwell on it and try to work out a solution, but be aware I am not a professional and this may actually worsen symptoms.
I just accept the fact that life is meaningless beyond my own perceptions. It's much easier that way. Besides, it's not like I can prove anything other than my own perceptions even exists. Though that line of thought can lead to a completely different kind of existential crisis...
I'd rather not "try" that... it doesn't seem like it'll be my favorite flavour of ice cream so to speak. Unfortunately, opting out of try a constant state of crisis for over a decade isn't an option. I'm living it... I'm just saying I'd rather not.
At 13 I learned that I'm agnostic and don't believe in an after life. Gave me anxiety for 25 years. The Last 5 years have been the best of my life. Because of acceptance
In my country there was a massive miscarriage of justice a bunch of years ago because a group of forensic psychologists and a prosecutor had bought into the whole "repressed memory" idea. They had a guy with history of mental illness and substance abuse locked up for several years, fed him mind-altering drugs and asked him about various murders and disappearances. In the end he confessed to about a hundred suspected murders, but when the case was reexamined many years later, his stories didn't match the technical evidence enough for a conviction. Originally, any inconsistencies had been explained away with "his memories are really really repressed so we'll just feed him more drugs and gloss over the mismatches." Sorry for the long post, but it felt kind of apt. ^^
@@Pile_of_carbon Similar things have happened in the USA, more often police than therapists eliciting the false memories. We had a Satanic Panic hysteria that destroyed lives, and with our active very religious/conservative/conspiracy theorist community still convinced it was and is real, we have a lot of religious "therapists" and some licensed therapists overreaching. Police of course want to close cases and may use vulnerable people (children are protected now). So a lot depends on prosecutors as gatekeepers.
My Mom had a double Masters and a PhD in Education used to say, “If you treat a child like they’re a genius they will perform as one. If you treat them like an idiot that’s what you’ll get.” She truly abhorred IQ tests. Thought they were garbage.
With the way the economy bones younger people I think 40 year olds are happier then 20 year olds. Most of the people I know in their 40s have savings, decent jobs, own homes, usually have a few close friends, and usually are married or have partners while all the people I know in their 20s are broke and depend on the internet or online gaming for human contact
At 45 I must admit that I'm not only the happiest I've ever been, but also more focused and productive. I suppose were I not gainfully employed, in moderate good health, and single that I may feel differently.
How did I miss this channel for two years? I have to say, I've never heard a group of such young narrators do such a suave presentation - they all sound natural, intelligent, authentic, and authoritative, and they don't talk like they're your boss or your kindergarten teacher. I'm super impressed. It just breaks my heart, in a good way, when the next generation proves how smart, engaged, open and, well, grown-up they are. This was a fun and informative segment, too, all meat no filler. Looking forward to seeing more. Subscribed!
A friend of mine did have a repressed memory from a traumatic event at school. It popped out somehow in his 30's. He confirmed it with his mother, so it really happened.
That's kind of the exception proving the rule. Most of us actually do remember our most traumatic experiences. I know I do. I wish I could repress the memories. Someone suggested trying to just imagine I'm living the life I ways imagined, with none of the painful events having happened. No abuse, no neglect, no poverty, no HIV, no artificial hips, no pain of losing loved ones. Thing is, some of that is still ongoing. Kind of hard to forget when one takes daily meds, has surgical scars, and knows one will never see a dozen pets, ones only sister, or husband, ever again, and yet, one wants to just have a stupid conversation.
@@injunsun Many studies have shown that strong emotion, like fear, can strengthen memory but strong adrenaline can blur memory. Grief seems to accumulate sometimes. I'm sorry you've gone through so much.
Largely forgotten memory of something traumatic =/= actively repressed memory of something traumatic. Memories degrade over time as we don't think of them often (also as we do it, remembering isn't just passive reading, but also rewriting), but then not always completely. That's different from neuronal mechanisms actually somehow just cutting the "outer" connections of the memory with the rest of memories, triggered by some psychological reason, only for eventually a new connection be formed later.
I’ve had repressed memories.. and when I say repressed I don’t mean I did not remember ANYTHING from the traumatic experiences but I had repressed the details of these experiences because they were too painful to deal with. Also.. the whole ‘subliminal message’ theory presented here seems very biased.
@@ElGuerreroMaya He actually had lots of good contributions as well; it was him that first conceptualized and coined the term 'unconscious.' Many of his most revolutionary discoveries/work we now accept as commonplace to psychology, so often all people remember nowadays are his mistake left behind -- albeit there were indeed some glaring errors in his theories. Granted though, it is understandable in hindsight how he could've been misguided so as to rely so heavily on sexuality as the primary determinant in personality/consciousness due to the sexually repressed nature of the Victorian era. Oftentimes we throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to Freud.
@@aguamalone7615 good point and to his credit the field was new so can't expect it to be perfect. Just look at Sir Isaac Newton, he did lots of things, had theories but eventually some were proven and disproven, as well as expanded.
Timestamps 0:00 Introduction 0:31 The thruth about subliminal messages 5:18 Are repressed memories real? 10:32 Does everyone has a midlife crisis? 15:55 Is the "Bystander Effect" real? 21:14 Does I.Q. really measure how smart you are? 27:11 Conclusion & Thanks
Intelligence as scored on tests is overrated. Nearly everyone's *functional* intelligence is less than their IQ would indicate. People function at less than optimum for various reasons: fatigue, inattention, stress, emotional state, distraction, etc. The biggest reason I find people perform at less than their ideal intelligence is that they're operating on auto-pilot - they're mentally checked out. The brain is very energy demanding so we've evolved to 'put it in park' to reduce stress & fatigue when we think/feel it's safe to do so. We perform poorly on many tasks in this state, which can makes us act, look or feel stupid, supergenius or not.
Smells like pure speculation .... that being said, I'll buy it, it does seem to legitimately reconcile with my observations, and I can offer no better explanation.
@@DigitalJedi Me too. My IQ is 144, and I have two BAs. Meanwhile, my life is in shambles, only partly due to my own mistakes. I can't figure my way up out of my various holes, some of which are quite logically not "my fault," such as the deaths loved ones. I can understand Ecology, Virology, and lots more, and yet, I'm in bankruptcy (after being widowered), and can't pick a good man if my life depended on it. And it kind of does, as I'm living on disability and SNAP. I lived with abuse and neglect before becoming widowered, because emotionally, I couldn't imagine or handle the idea of losing my lifetime of possessions. So, high IQ may measure how well I can do a job, or take a test, but hasn't done squat otherwise.
We often perform better in the "automatic" mode than if we were actively doing things like someone who's just learning it for the first time, paying more active attention. In fact, training for performance is training for automaticity. Our performance degrades for various reasons, though, but that alone wouldn't invalidate any kind of test that measured a given potential, only the assumption that it measures a constant level of performance.
Idk man. Seems pretty čonspiratorial to me. Unfortunately, or fortünately, subliminal mmessaging doesn’t work well enough to really be worth implementing.
About the mid-life crisis, I turn 45 in exactly one week. And right now I am happier than I have been in a long time. I went through a horrible miserable dark period in my mid-30’s which I think is supposedly a bit too young for it.
The IQ segment is very interesting to me. I don't know if this is still the case, but when I was a kid, the generally accepted way to administer IQ testing in children emphasized the fact that they weren't supposed to be told what the test was for. I was a very stubborn kid, and if they weren't gonna tell me why I had to take this test, I wasn't gonna DO it! Every teacher I had in grade school agreed that I *should* be in the Academic Challenge program at my school, but they couldn't PUT me there, because they didn't have an IQ score on file for me. XD
It wasn't mid-life, but on my 30th birthday, my younger brother called to ask if he could have all my records/albums. He had been lectured by an old guy in a bar, about how bad rock and roll is. He told him ,"When you turn 30, you won't like it anymore."
It was the 70's, my brother was joking, eventually he ended up with all my vinyl, which is another story, he was supposed to put them on tape, never did. There is a few more obscure records there too.
I do too cause it was may 24 weekend a holiday here me and my friends drank and drove quad 20 km in the woods camped out all weekend thats just coincidence that that happened 10 years ago one of the most exciting things ive done probably
I realized I’m high functioning autistic at 41, it was difficult, and really didn’t change much except for the fact that I no longer mask my symptoms. Yay midlife crisis, brought about change.
I’ve always thought it, but also had a stereotype of what autism looked like. And what you see on tv and movies don’t paint the whole picture. I’ve always considered myself a super nerd. There are things that I become obsessed with COVID was one of those things. It fascinates me, in an awful way. The more I learned about it the more I was intrigued. Obsessive learning is a guess you’d say a symptom. And I’ve always visualized things in my mind like how things work and fit together. I am or can an introvert. I have routines and stick to them. I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety, now that I know where it stemming from I take better care of myself to avoid burnout. Oh also I mask by pretending I’m not a super nerd, so no one ask me 50 million questions. Where I work people will ask you questions instead of finding the information themselves. So the more I learned about ASD the more I realized that it fits me. It was like a weight was lifted. Honesty, introverted, aloof, sometimes a daydreamer , depression, anxiety, insomnia, light sensitivity, and even bisexuality are all linked to ASD or autism spectrum disorder. Most studies have been done one men, and the brain of an autistic woman is wired differently than a man, which means if we’re just a little autistic we can cover it up. I’m also so old that they weren’t really looking for it in the 80’s and 90’s.
Women don’t get diagnosed as often as men, it’s not that women don’t have it, it’s diagnosed as eating disorders, it’s diagnosed as anxiety and depression. It also can seem like bipolar disorder. You’d have to be non verbal to be diagnosed as a girl, or have repetitive behaviors or have very socially awkward. I’m just a little socially awkward.
Someone in my family was lead to create a false repressed memory by a therapist in the 1980s. Because of that, she ended up alienating most of their family and losing about 30 years with them. She's only started spending more time with her remaining family in the past few years.
My brother has the same issue. It really hampers his critical thinking skills. I've been trying to help him, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
@@sailor5853 Instructions unclear, I am water boarding my brother every time he fails a critical thinking test. He doesn't appear to be improving, only screaming and crying.
The biggest problem with the studies of the Bystander Effect (and Most other psychological studies) is that they are done using undergraduate students, young "adults" who are away from home and Mommy and Daddy for the first time, as well as being generally unaccustomed with being in a position of responsibility, let alone the huge responsibility of what appears to be a life or death situation being suddenly thrust onto them. Oh, and did I mention they're UNDERGRADS? Lolol
I see where your coming from, and I definitely think the bystander affect is more prominent in “younger” people, especially those who have never been in a certain situation before, such as a life or death situation. Imo the affect is prevalent throughout all age groups, but is not prevalent with men or women who have had the “make the call” situation thrust upon before. I am in the army, I have only been in 3 years and I am 21, and I know that when something big comes up, there is no hesitation to jump on it and be the person in charge. I had a failed launch of a drone while in training, and the 28 year old man I was training had no idea what to do and stood there, while my 21 year old self took the reins and handled the situation. I feel like the biggest thing is experience in having being told your in charge of a potential crisis. Most of my other army buddies and police officer buddies have said that when it’s time to be in charge of an unexpected situation for the first time, they froze, as I did as well back in the day lol. But once you have had the experience of unexpected crisis being thrust upon you, it is more like a second nature, probably due to training, that you are able (and almost confident) to take charge of the situation and be the “peacemaker” instead of a bystander. Just an opinion ofc, I’m not educated in any way on the subject so I could just be rambling lol.
One of my sisters (now deceased) was miserable the majority of her life. Some time in her mid-30s she had friends who were into what I thought of as crackpot healing, crystals, homeopathy. She ended up going to a hypnotist who billed herself as a hypnotherapist but as far as anyone knew she had no medical training. A year later my sister came up with some horrible accusations about most of our family. The majority were mind bogglingly impossible to have happened. We ended up going no contact and lost all touch until her landlord called to say she was dead and who was going to clean up her gigantic hoarder's nest?.
Personally, I suspect a big reason for the U-curve and happiness dip around mid-life has a lot to do with how busy, stressful, and difficult that period of life typically is. People in this age group are often raising children, dealing with the declining health of parents, juggling the most intense work responsibilities of their careers, and generally expected to have everything together and under control. I'm not saying younger and older adults don't also face challenges. College can certainly be stressful, and coping with one own declining health in old age is difficult -- and of course there are many accompanying stresses and difficulties for both groups. But generally I think people are just much more harried and short on time in middle age. Being able to take a nap or just kick back in the middle of the day -- whether because you have a couple hours off between classes or because you're retired and have a few hours before dinner, is a really nice luxury and goes a longer way toward preserving/increasing happiness than I think most people appreciate.
You hit the nail on the head. Im there RIGHT NOW. I’m 43 and apparently at that age where friends and family members are dropping like flies, my business is flourishing, my testosterone has obviously hit the off-switch, my back and knees hurt, & I am just downright overwhelmed at this point. Shit’s changing and changing FAST. And it won’t slow down either. I just said to a 19 year old client, “last I saw you was June, yeah?” He replied, “I know! It was so long ago!” It feels like yesterday to me. It was at THAT moment I said for the first time, “I’m getting old.”. You are 100 percent correct about that nap. My only saving grace and what’s keeping my sanity right now is the fact that I own my own successful business and can live my life at my pace and by my own dictation. I lost my mom, then her sister, then my grandma (mom’s mom) in the past couple weeks & months. I have never been more devastated and know an all knew meaning of pain. In the past two years I have been to just as many funerals as the 41 years previous combined. After 25 years in one profession, and a business owner, the pressure of others expecting you to get it right is imperceptible compared to the weight of knowing every decision you make has an effect on the families of the employees you are responsible for. I have done things far outside the lines of my own self centered principles and moral compass for the good of the employees. In my position there is no room for my emotions, and I wear mine on my sleeve. Compartmentalism of thoughts and emotions takes a lot of effort to maintain. It’s a crazy time and what we have to remember is these things aren’t happening to us, they are happening around us and we’re affected by them. In some cultures it’s “the 7 year itch,” where they claim due to the fact that you’re cells are all completely replaced and you are therefore different every 7 years that you change foo. If you just do the math, 14 is deep in puberty, 21 is the “adulthood awakening,” 42 is the “midlife crisis, 63 is elderly/retirement age…but as for all the other multiples of 7…idk what those would be.
The fear of being wrong is one of the worst fears you can have. It keeps my students from asking questions and let's bags get stolen. This is one of my top two goals for my student to know that it's ok to be wrong what's not ok is not fixing it.
At 42, my midlife crisis occurred when we realized, as our first child entered high school, that we hadn’t been saving for our three kids going to college. I thought, I’d better go first! I attended nearby Indiana University NW and became a respiratory therapist, immediately acquiring a job at Rush Presbyterian St. Luke’s hospital in Chicago! I have recently retired but I really miss my job
These “crisis” i think are a transition phase where someone’s expectations or the way they view themselves or reality changes drastically. My husband and I are just starting our 30’s. Not quite mid life however I’ve noticed a huge change in how I perceive the present and future. I have to think about my later years and think seriously about paying off our house and saving for retirement. With all those big “end of the road” preparations being more center (and serious!) in our daily life causes a sense of sadness of how much you’ve already lived and how much time you may or may not have left. When you’re younger those responsibilities feel so far away.
I think it's the invariable result of a identity driven society, in our teens we start questioning, chasing our true identity, by our 40s, 50s, 60s society expects us to have found "It" and fit in..but when we dont find it or we become bored this is what causes dissatisfaction
Emily Jolley In our society, 30 is for many a big turning point, when they start to do adult things, seeing their parents in themselves. That is just growing up. Midlife for many people these days is carrying the load for boss, spouse, kids who are teens or running up college expenses, and elderly parents. They are mortgaged to the eyeteeth and sleep very poorly, worrying how they are going to keep this going. A midlife crisis in a bad way might include abandoning all that and running off to Bora Bora with someone young enough to be your kid. A midlife crisis in a good way might be looking at what you can change to enjoy life again without ruining everything--downsize the house, change to a job you really like even if it pays less, teach the kids that the gravy train has been replaced by a handcar, get some help with your parents, take up activities you really love but gave up when life became too hectic, and take care of yourself and your marriage before it's too late. Those years of juggling all the demands are what make the later years feel so peaceful. You can see the struggles and think, "Not my problem anymore." :) Of course you life crises might vary. :)
Dear SciShow Psych, please mark which episodes are compilations, like the main channel does. Sincerely, Someone Who Has Been Watching Religiously Since The Channel Started
The "U curve" kind of makes sense from a general biological perspective. When you're around 40, you're very likely to be taking care of both young children and elderly parents, and of course professional responsibilities. That's a lot of stress! Contrast that with when you're younger and can still count on parents for help, or when you're elderly and can count on your children for help (and also very possibly have accumulated resources from a lifetime of work), and few if any work responsibilities.
Interesting thing on the accidentally creating false repressed memories thing, I had that process perfected when I was in middle school, like to the point that I literally cannot trust any of my memories from that time bc I would just convince myself that things happened a certain way to make lies more convincing or because I was bored by running myself through the whole visualization process.
what about the case of people with dissociative disorders? like it's a whole mental health thing to be exposed to such horrible trauma that you don't remember it. speaking as someone who suffers from dissociative amnesia (i personally do not remember most of my life up until age 20-ish), i feel like the repressed memories bit would be more accurate if it took into account the fact that people *can* have memories that their mind just refuses to consciously deal with. like dissociated trauma memories. i get that scishow is usually just bite-sized information, but even just a tidbit would have been more helpful :(
I have dissociated issues, & I also have an amazing memory (for stuff not dissociated from). I just posted that 10yrs ago today I was driving cab for a very inebriated guy... I hate that the videos dont offer any nod to possible exceptions. I'm sorry for your suffering, & though my dissociated states arent as bad as yours, I relate & wish you peace & joy. XO
They do not deny that people may have suppressed memories about different life events. They try to explain that these suppressed memories that were retrieved by psychoanalysts are not reliable and maybe just false memories. So it is difficult to understand which retrieved suppressed memories are real, and which are not.
@@SvetaHuh That's true. I personally wish they'd just say a qualifier like, "Though there are some extenuating exceptions,..." or something. Mostly a great channel tbh. XO
@@maggiee639 that is a very real issue that i have questioned myself about multiple times, as a large portion of people with similar issues struggle with denial. such is the nature of the beast when your mind works its hardest to prevent you from remembering harmful experiences-- "are these memories real, or am i just making things up to seem like i was hurt as a child?" typically the memories i experience are in the forms of flashbacks and my memory of experiencing them dissipates within moments unless i record them through writing. only the visceral feelings i experience from the flashback remain. those are usually ones i can be certain are "real" memories and not "intrusive fake memories," even if i don't truly "remember" them. the brain works to "re-dissociate" them as they are harmful to my mental functioning. i can't speak for those who are currently in therapy or have sufficiently healed from the injuries to their psyche, as i don't have any experience with that.
I had suppressed memories of abuse, I remembered little but 50 years or so later my mother gave me a picture of myself. All of the memories came back from looking at the pit.
Re: bystander effect, my personal experiences pretty much agree with your take. I was one of many bystanders who did not intervene in an ambiguous situation (in Paris metro). It later turned out that the intervention was not actually necessary, but the memory of the incident still bothers me.
Just makes me think of Fight Club, or in Bad Boys 2 on the highway there is a random Mountain Dew bottle that flys towards the screen when they dodge the debris.
I had something happen to me when I was about 9 or 10 years old that I completely forgot or blocked out. About 50 years later (early 2001s) my sister shared something similar that happened to her as a child. BEFORE she told me WHO it was I had a full blown memory of my abuse and the abuser. Turned out to be the same person. Now it is hard to believe I forgot such a traumatic event.
We have been raised by the television to believe that one day we would become millionaires, movie gods and rockstars, but we won't. We are slowly learning the fact that we are very pissed off.
If you pay closer attention, in all movies and series, it's always one person or a small group of people who rises to the top, rather than everyone in the entire world becoming god-like status-wise at the same time.
I'm literally in the process of a mid-life crisis, no question. However what I find most interesting is the bit about the bystander effect. I always thought it was something set in stone, like just a hard fact of reality for humans and even some other animals.
I had a repressed memory from my first day in kindergarten, and it did affect me, until i remembered it ( I was around 3 making the memory and 14 recalling it). I have some memories from before i started kindergarten too. No therapists were involved.
I had an iq test to help diagnose my learning disability. What was really interesting to me was how unevenly dispersed my skills were. I did VERY poorly (like a score of 70) in the maths related section but tested in the 99th percentile for audio recall.
It's often the way with many supposed learning disability that it's only a specific kind of skill or learning that is perhaps performing lower than average - many people have amazing strengths in other arenas but they are overshadowed by their disability.
strange/sad that when you don't do well in school they *test* you. your "disability" results in large part from the inadequacies of the system to teach people who don't learn well in the standardized model. i was lucky. my mother was a teacher, and i did well in school. but i saw it fail a lot of people because it couldn't serve them properly. yet somehow it managed to blame them for the problem.
There are definitely things I know have happened with no memory to connect it to. Mostly traumatic ones. I cut half my finger off with a bread slicing machine when I was 10 and I have the scar and misshapen finger to prove it but my mum later told me all kinds of information about that day that I should've had but don't remember. I mark that up as "my brain was too busy worrying about my missing flesh to pay attention to anything else".
Never had a mid life crisis until now. At 72 I think I may be having one now. Anyone have a Ferrari to sell cheap and are there young ladies care to have a low cost affair? On a slightly more serious note. I have had 3 IQ tests in my life. Before entering High School, the school required an IQ test before you were accepted and I think the minimum was an IQ of 110. I do not know what I got on that test, but I did get into the school. Just before Graduation from High school we were tested again and I got a score of 147. Just before graduating from College, I took another as part of a study being done and scored 168. Like the Character in Big Bang Theory, though not quite as bad, my social skills were lacking Though I have had a successful career and am comfortably retired now. Also in High School, we were asked for our earliest memories, mine was one of my mother giving me a bottle. I no longer have that memory, just what I wrote down about it around 1962. My earliest memory now was when I was about 4. We had spent Christmas Eve visiting relatives scattered about the city. We were driving to our last visit after sating supper and even the prospect of more presents did not stir any enthusiasm for the trip in me because I was very tired at that point. We were driving on an overpass, when my mother, perhaps to cheer me up, punted out to all the houses we could see with Christmas lights from that raised vantage point. I looked out over the rows of house visible below and had what can only be an flash of insight and realized that there was no way that Santa Claus could visit all those houses in one night, much less all the other houses in other cities around the world. I also concluded that tales of a Santa Claus were not true. I blurted out "Santa Claus is not real," at which point, my sister who was two years older than me, began to beat me up yelling "Santa Claus is Real!" It did not change my conviction. I was reminded of that incident every year at Christmas time, mainly to be admonished not to proclaim that knowledge of Santa to cousins and other young children who still believed in Santa Claus. I never understood the reason to lie about a Santa Claus.
The bystander effect is real. I've seen it happen, walking past someone laying in the road after coming off his bike probably being hit by a car behind. I was the only one to call an ambulance. I didn't even stop.
There are still plenty therapists out there who entered the field because of specific personal issues and who coach clients to fit their preconceived ideas
Good show! You have no idea how this helps. Thanks for sharing the information. ✌🏼 Btw, I'm in my 50's and I'm STILL waiting for the mid-life crisis, don't buy the lie.
I think you can have a “midlife crisis” at any point in your life. It’s more about a failure to meet some significant goal by a set time frame. I always assumed that by 25 I’d be married with at least one child. It wasn’t really a goal, more like a matter of fact. So at the ripe old age of 24, when I’d been on a single date, never lost my virginity I’d been trying to dispose of since I was 15, was suffering from a terrible hormone issue that was undiagnosed, and what is probable infertility, I started to panic. I took risks I shouldn’t have, and never would have if I’d been in my right mind. By my 25th birthday things had only gotten worse. For the better part of two years, I was only going through the motions, losing enjoyment in just about everything. The depression hit hard, and even now that life is looking a tad brighter, nearly three years after the fact, that fear and desperation is still looming over my shoulder. Some days it is still hard to get up and function, when all I want to do is die. If that doesn’t count as a midlife crisis, I don’t know what does. My 28th birthday is drawing closer, and already the darkness is threatening to take me over once again. 💔
This sounds very challenging as you had such a strong idea of definitive reality which simply did not come true. I hope things get better for you. As someone who is also “behind” on some things (ie. relationships) understand you are by no means alone. Everyone takes everyday at their own pace. Know that you mold your own reality, not the world around you. You got this and I know things will get better soon. Take care!
I remember recalling a repressed memory! It was a traumatic experience for a child, but not an adult. Anyone remember the Slime Monster from Ghost Writer? It scared the living hell outta me. I had completely repressed it until a TH-camr made a video about it. It was the WEIRDEST feeling.
I keep all my traumatic thoughts in my brain's Trauma Closet. How many file containers can my brain's Trauma Closet hold, and why is it currently re-organizing things??? Will we ever know?
It's self - defense by cognitive dissonance. A person has to cope in this world to move forward, and sometimes putting experiences (and particularly the parent tapes) in a closet is the only way it can be done sometimes.
What I assumed about mid life crisis was that they stem from not living a life true to yourself, and having that realisation at a later stage in life when it dawns on you that you are truly aging and have a limited time left.
Memory is so weird. There are a couple I have that are reactions to something I can't actually remember. I don' t pay any attention to TV commercials because an ad I no longer recall convinced me, "They think I am stupid." Only remember the reaction. There are a couple of fights I was roped into during junior and senior high I do not remember. My mom brought them up years after they had happened and the conversation explained certain shifts in my social interactions I couldn't understand. She informed me that the girls-- two girls at once in high school -- had attacked me and I proceeded to beat the snot out of them. This was a shock to me. Still have no memory of me fighting, but I do remember the beginnings of one of the incidents.
I think it would work with Images and Sounds, like going to the loo when you hear trickling water or seeing a picture of a footballer in brightly coloured boots....maybe
Brit- I've got to say, I love your haircut. I love how one side only comes down to your jaw line and the other side goes down longer, but I'm super curious on what the back looks like?
The fact that people will believe in these things just bc they’re on TV proves that when we create harmful stereotypes about people and show them on TV that people will end up really believing them and they won’t just consider them “jokes”
^ which is a common symptom of people who've been abused. It really did happen, just that abused people often have doubts caused by gaslighting, manipulation, etc. Something that helps me is that I told other people before anyone else talked to me about it.
the original upload of the “repressed memory” part of this scishow video from 2 years ago is FULL of frustrated comments from therapists, trauma survivors and other people posting links to reproducible studies of specific parts of the brain having reduced matter in trauma victims, describing differences between negative-tinged memories the brain confabulates & memories suddenly flashing back that make their heart beat & skin sweat like it’s happening in real life, and giving anecdotal evidence of their repressed memories being corroborated by family memories decades after the trauma apparently occurred, and just generally being like “HANK WTF WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS”..... so don’t worry, you’re not alone in thinking that _that_ part of this video was really Really ill-advised & stupid 😏
There is a difference: A: You remember the trauma. or B: A therapist constantly tells you about a trauma you could possibly have, until you think you remember it. In the first case your memories are (most likely) real. In the second case you should doubt it.
I worked in magazine graphic advertising in the late 70’s. There WAS lots of subliminal graphics added to ads, like naughty images painted into ice cubes, or “all-American” images or words like puppies or Mom in backgrounds on liquor or cigarette ads to make the items look wholesome. I don’t know if it worked, but I did see and participate in it being done.
I have repressed memories. It's something I recovered before entering therapy. My classmate had terrible boundaries and after I graduated, I started to research if I was taken advantage of. the thing is, to move on through life, I've always tried not to think of distresses so i can function normally. After graduating, i was jobless, locked in my room, it gave me space to think, and thinking deeply and finally reading about unwanted touches-sent me back-end not to my college days-but back to when i was 5years old when a grandpa would touch me. It was a very distressing memory, and i knew it was real, i just didnt think of it for so long because my reaction to remembering that was get so ashamed and bathe myself, anything to get rid of the used feeling. I brought this up in therapy, it wasnt suggested to me, i talked about all the instances i freeze and i just let things be over. Through the line, i openes up to mom, and she knew the old man, how he used to be my grandma's suitor. I also discovered the official dates we moved close to the old man's store.. That i was 5yrs old, meanwhile i thought i was aroynd 8 or 9 because it was so far back.
I had a huge IQ as a preschooler and was expected to be a genius but I couldn't read till I was in my mid 20s and still can't spell or use grammar properly in my 30s. Among other things.
Yeah, my mid-life crisis is in full swing, because I've been an introvert with extrovert wishes that I had trouble acting upon. Therapy might have helped, but in my circles therapy was dissed, so I never got it, until recently, when I started to spit back at any opinion that is against psychological or psychiatric treatment.
40 is middle-aged? Is the assumption that everyone will die at 80? I might live to be 100! Humans are living longer, so my middle-age might be 50! It's not always the case that you get miserable when you get older. Now that I'm in my 40's, my life is better than it was when I was in my childhood, 20's and 30's. The older I get, the wiser I get, and the happier I get. When I look back at my youth, I was actually really miserable! I see how dumb I was, I think about the mistakes I made, and I never wanna go back to being young again. Society needs to work on getting away from this mid-life crisis narrative, because it trains people to expect that misery awaits them when they hit 40.
Idk repress memories, I forced myself to forget events that happened when I was little, and only remembered them later in life. Now it's a habit of mine to forget what's happening when I'm stressed or scared, for example during the lead up to assessments due for uni.
I managed movie theaters in college and I knew about subliminal messages being bs. I challenged a college graphic design prof on this and I did not win any fans and it probably affected my grade.
My experience with memory suppression was that I was aware the event happened but I convinced myself it wasn't as bad as it was. The memory was a bit foggy and I told myself I was okay with what happened, about a year later I was in a better place to fully process what had happened and how bad it really was. From other people I've talked to about situations like this it seems like this kind of suppression is fairly common.
I believe wholeheartedly that the bystander effect is real. Just recently an old man was mugged at the entrance of an underground station. He fell down the escalator, started bleeding and many people passed by and nobody helped... This happened in Prague, you can Google it. It's upsetting but it's real...
Um NO. Repressed memories are actual science, and in the DSM-IV are a feature of conditions like DA, OSDID and DID being just a few common ones in the public sphere.
They’re not saying all repressed memories are false, they’re saying that repeated heavy suggestion in intensely emotional situations in a setting of power imbalance (like that between a psychologist and a patient) can make people think of things so vividly and colourfully that the memory of that imagined event is sometimes indistinguishable from memories of actual events. It’s a scientifically documented fact, there’s plenty of research on it.
The DSM-IV is outdated and no longer used. The current one is the DSM-5. It does not include repressed memories. Most college/ university libraries have a copy of the current DSM and you can check it out for yourself.
@@lilimarlene7813 My bad switch the V and The I around. I meant the DSM 5. And yes it does. The entire basis of western psychiatry is based on the consept. Seriously. Freud, Jung, do you even know what you are talking about or are you just arguing to look clever. I'm arguing based on a) facts Nd b) because it has real implications for people suffering from this. Pray tell your motivation for your comments, all be they incorrect in their entirety, still I'd love to know what your stance and where this is coming from.
My entire life before 40 was a crisis. 😂. BPD, body issues, horrible confidence. After 40 has been the best time in my life. I feel like I’ve had a reverse midlife crisis. At 44 I’m happier than I have ever been. It’s nice for a change.
Bystander Effect: That reminds me of the first aid training I had to take for my driver's licence. And the instructor told us that, if we're trying to help someone and there are others around, don't say "Someone call an ambulance!" but to point at someone and say "You! Call an ambulance!" This way the responsibilty is on that person, and it's not a guessing game of "oh I'm sure someone of the other bystands will make the call".
Good tip. I will remember this
.... otherwise all of them will continue videoing it to post on-line!
Even better. Don't point at anyone and call police *yourself.*
@@MariaMartinez-researcher If you can. It's a little hard to do CPR or stop bleeding with one hand. Even if you have it on speaker, it's still a mental distraction
@@MariaMartinez-researcher But the point is that the person is rendering life-saving aid (CPR, stopping a bleed, etc.) and cannot call for an ambulance without negatively affecting the victim's wellbeing. Of course, if you are one of the bystanders...yes, make the call without being prompted. However, that wasn't the point in his/her first-aid training.
“You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
Politicians.
Ain't it the truth, America
😶
@Austin Martín Hernández More like: Vote against Biden because he picked Kamala Harris and she's a black woman.
Reminds me of a logic description that can equate one to minus one.
Just shows you need to be careful with reasoning.
esp. trump fans
I had a repressed memory of an event as a 6 yr old when a rogue wave washed up a beach in Oregon and floated me in the the middle of a bunch of large logs. My father was able to grab me so I didn't get crushed or washed out to sea. I 'found out' in my late 20s as I was telling my mother, on the phone, about how I only canoed in lakes and rivers because I didn't like the ocean much. She said, "Well, that makes sense. Remember Thanksgiving at Driftwood Shores when that wave washed up the beach and Dad pulled you out of the surf?" I remembered in a split second, I 'saw' it happening. I was shocked and instantly had tears streaming down my face. As far as I can tell, I had never had any memory of that event until she said it- and then I did. It's still 'out of order' in my head, it's a memory from my 20s to me. I've always had a lot of memories from my childhood, even from Driftwood Shores (we only went twice in 2 years)- like when I attacked my brother with a cheese slicer. I never repressed that, I remember each time he pushed me too far. I think.
It isnt surprising if you just simply forgot because you didn't actually use the memory more than it was repressed. My kids' have a younger half brother. He likes being I the water but hates it when his head gets wet or it the water gets deep enough that he can't stand. Im not too surprised. When he was like 3 or so, a lot of us were at a larger birthday party for one of their cousins that took place at a public pool. He swam out and away from everyone else. I was the first on eat see him and to see him go under, other than the life guard. I was closer so I passed my daughter off to an adult (also with the party,) and swam over to get him out of the water. If you ask him he says he doesn't really remeber it happening, except vaguely when he was1st told about it. But it did happen.
... You attacked your brother with a cheese slicer?
@@Insertia_Nameia When I was 2, my mother was working at a YMCA pool in Maine. They let her bring me and, once when she wasn't watching, I ended up in the pool. I've always remembered looking up at the surface of the water as I sank. I was calm, didn't get water in my lungs. I remember her breaking the surface of the water as she dove in for me. I know this is what happened because we talked about it when I was a little older (no memory on either side of the event, just me sinking and my mother diving in). No trauma, and I've always remembered this from such a young age. This is in stark contrast to the terror I suppressed, which I remembered in detail the instant my mother mentioned it 20 years later. My parents were avid whitewater kayakers and I grew up in the water- I've never had any fear of swimming, diving, or drowning- just not liking going out in the ocean in a small boat. I don't even know if they're connected, but it made my mother mention the event. There is a difference to forgetting/not remembering and repressing. I understand this is hard to internalize unless an individual has experienced such themselves. As I said, to me this is a memory from my 20s. This is the only thing I've ever 'remembered' that doesn't fit properly into the chronology of my internal timeline, it 'happened' the day I remembered it.
@@a.9913 Yeah, the kind with a handle and a 'blade' with a slot in it to slice the cheese. More dangerous than a spoon, less than a fork.
But then there's the issue of one actually imagining perfectly compatible imagery to an experience they have been through and later forgotten, versus the memory been actively repressed. I often find myself trying to remember stuff, and as I conceive of having done something or seen something, it's still hard to tell whether it's a memory or something I'm making up. It can perfectly be the case that I'll often just re-imagine things that I've done, not really remembering. In the other hand, there's some research saying that ironically we remember more perfectly things we don't really consciously remind ourselves of often. Remembering things is not just "reading" but also re-writing the memory itself, subtly distorting it over time. Whereas stored memory that was never recalled is potentially more intact. There's a question of how long it really lasts, though, since things like dreaming and recalling are also strengthening the wiring of memories.
There are different types of memories. Kind of like a video file in a computer is not a single thing, but actually has the video track and the audio track as separate files, in a container file, that artificially binds them together for ease of use. One can have lost the "narrative" memory of an event, but still have emotional memories, and associations. An example was one of those rare instances of people who have suffered some brain injury and were no longer able to form long-term memories, like living in an never-ending present and always getting surprised about how old you look in the mirror. One of those people, had his daughter visiting him from time to time, and sometimes she would stand by for a long while with him, then go to the kitchen or to the bathroom for a minute or so before saying goodbye and going away, and that would make her father very frustrated, as he thought she had been there just to go to the bathroom, not even talking to him. He would soon forget, but for the rest of the day he'd be on a bad mood, and not even know why. At some point they (plus some researcher or MD) figured out it was going on, and then she made sure to say goodbye only immediately after being with him for longer, not after any interval.
Similarly, seeing dramatic movies also affects people in a way that lasts longer than we generally think of having been affected by it. There's like an inertia of brain chemistry going on, but then that's more of a short term thing, rather than a traumatic association that persists wired to some degree.
Ah undergrads. The most studied species on planet Earth along with e.coli, fruit flies and nematode worms.
Sentient Fetus are you okay?
@@dstinnettmusic It just became sentient. It needs time to stabilize.
Don't forget Arabadopsis thaliana! Poor plants are always forgotten :(
don't forget about military personnel...
@@joyl7842 While we're at it, poor rats/mice haven't gotten a mention either. Not sure how we forgot those
Now I be the guy who goes “well actually”
Orrrr when someone says some "fact" ask them where they got that 'information' from
@@seanA416 I usually do that, but humans are hard to convince
@@mr.boomguy It could be the way you're saying it that people don't want to listen to.
@@seanA416 When I try that, most of the time the response is "It's on the internet, google it!" /smh
@@mr.boomguy show them the source.
I was subjected to an IQ test when I was being tested for ADHD and I was told by the doctor that I was “too smart” and “successful in school” (all A and A- s) to have any issues with keeping focused on things. Just because school was easy when I actually *did the work* doesn’t mean it was at all easy to actually get that work done. Also didn’t take into account the fact that I dropped out of all of my AP classes because I was struggling so much with the workload.
I need to get tested again now that I’m not in school and they can’t use my apparent success against me.
Same, adhd seems to be very common these days, maybe because of social media . When I'm motivated to study, the studying itself and learning is actual very sweet and easy for me, not matter how "hard" the topic is, if I'm motivated , it'll be easy. But I'm not usually motivated (probably because of my adhd) and the hardest thing about studying is focusing and not getting distracted for me. Or maybe I don't have adhd and I'm not just f**Ked by the overstimulation and over release of Domaine because of social media. If that's the case, it means I have to leave it for sometime to decrease my brain's expectation of how much dopamine should be released wheb doing sth enjoyable
Mid-life crisis? Try every-day-constant-existential-crisis-since-I-was-in-my-mid-twenties
That is called an Ongoing Crisis or a Philosophical Crisis, which are both names I have just made up. Take a few days to dwell on it and try to work out a solution, but be aware I am not a professional and this may actually worsen symptoms.
I just accept the fact that life is meaningless beyond my own perceptions. It's much easier that way. Besides, it's not like I can prove anything other than my own perceptions even exists. Though that line of thought can lead to a completely different kind of existential crisis...
I'd rather not "try" that... it doesn't seem like it'll be my favorite flavour of ice cream so to speak. Unfortunately, opting out of try a constant state of crisis for over a decade isn't an option. I'm living it... I'm just saying I'd rather not.
I feel this in my bones!!!
You ain't kidding!!!
At 13 I learned that I'm agnostic and don't believe in an after life.
Gave me anxiety for 25 years.
The Last 5 years have been the best of my life. Because of acceptance
"It's good to know that therapists are no longer planting traumatic memories in people."
You said that very suspiciously. 🤔
In my country there was a massive miscarriage of justice a bunch of years ago because a group of forensic psychologists and a prosecutor had bought into the whole "repressed memory" idea. They had a guy with history of mental illness and substance abuse locked up for several years, fed him mind-altering drugs and asked him about various murders and disappearances. In the end he confessed to about a hundred suspected murders, but when the case was reexamined many years later, his stories didn't match the technical evidence enough for a conviction. Originally, any inconsistencies had been explained away with "his memories are really really repressed so we'll just feed him more drugs and gloss over the mismatches." Sorry for the long post, but it felt kind of apt. ^^
@@Pile_of_carbon And this is sweden, right? :S
@@metallsnubben Yup, the whole Sture Bergvall/Thomas Qvick debacle.
That's until the patient goes into shock upon receiving at the therapist's bill!
@@Pile_of_carbon Similar things have happened in the USA, more often police than therapists eliciting the false memories. We had a Satanic Panic hysteria that destroyed lives, and with our active very religious/conservative/conspiracy theorist community still convinced it was and is real, we have a lot of religious "therapists" and some licensed therapists overreaching. Police of course want to close cases and may use vulnerable people (children are protected now). So a lot depends on prosecutors as gatekeepers.
My Mom had a double Masters and a PhD in Education used to say, “If you treat a child like they’re a genius they will perform as one. If you treat them like an idiot that’s what you’ll get.” She truly abhorred IQ tests. Thought they were garbage.
And that's why I never watched cartoons. Only Aaron Sorkin for this 8 year old!
I was treated like a genius. I proved them strikingly wrong.
"People hit their 40's and suddenly become miserable" jokes on you pop culture, most of us are already miserable regardless of age!
I dont think I've ever been not miserable
Wasn’t planning on spending my hottest Years living like the Grandparents in Charlie and the chocolate factory but here we are.
With the way the economy bones younger people I think 40 year olds are happier then 20 year olds. Most of the people I know in their 40s have savings, decent jobs, own homes, usually have a few close friends, and usually are married or have partners while all the people I know in their 20s are broke and depend on the internet or online gaming for human contact
At 45 I must admit that I'm not only the happiest I've ever been, but also more focused and productive. I suppose were I not gainfully employed, in moderate good health, and single that I may feel differently.
all true things, all true things
How did I miss this channel for two years? I have to say, I've never heard a group of such young narrators do such a suave presentation - they all sound natural, intelligent, authentic, and authoritative, and they don't talk like they're your boss or your kindergarten teacher. I'm super impressed. It just breaks my heart, in a good way, when the next generation proves how smart, engaged, open and, well, grown-up they are. This was a fun and informative segment, too, all meat no filler. Looking forward to seeing more. Subscribed!
A friend of mine did have a repressed memory from a traumatic event at school. It popped out somehow in his 30's. He confirmed it with his mother, so it really happened.
That's kind of the exception proving the rule. Most of us actually do remember our most traumatic experiences. I know I do. I wish I could repress the memories. Someone suggested trying to just imagine I'm living the life I ways imagined, with none of the painful events having happened. No abuse, no neglect, no poverty, no HIV, no artificial hips, no pain of losing loved ones. Thing is, some of that is still ongoing. Kind of hard to forget when one takes daily meds, has surgical scars, and knows one will never see a dozen pets, ones only sister, or husband, ever again, and yet, one wants to just have a stupid conversation.
@@injunsun Many studies have shown that strong emotion, like fear, can strengthen memory but strong adrenaline can blur memory. Grief seems to accumulate sometimes. I'm sorry you've gone through so much.
Largely forgotten memory of something traumatic =/= actively repressed memory of something traumatic. Memories degrade over time as we don't think of them often (also as we do it, remembering isn't just passive reading, but also rewriting), but then not always completely. That's different from neuronal mechanisms actually somehow just cutting the "outer" connections of the memory with the rest of memories, triggered by some psychological reason, only for eventually a new connection be formed later.
I’ve had repressed memories.. and when I say repressed I don’t mean I did not remember ANYTHING from the traumatic experiences but I had repressed the details of these experiences because they were too painful to deal with.
Also.. the whole ‘subliminal message’ theory presented here seems very biased.
@Jeremiah Liggins No, it was a major and traumatizing event that occurred in a school classroom.
Freud was the sickest of all his patients.
In his defence, half of his body weight was cocaine.
Yeah, and people still believe the nonsense he said
@@ElGuerreroMaya He actually had lots of good contributions as well; it was him that first conceptualized and coined the term 'unconscious.' Many of his most revolutionary discoveries/work we now accept as commonplace to psychology, so often all people remember nowadays are his mistake left behind -- albeit there were indeed some glaring errors in his theories. Granted though, it is understandable in hindsight how he could've been misguided so as to rely so heavily on sexuality as the primary determinant in personality/consciousness due to the sexually repressed nature of the Victorian era. Oftentimes we throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to Freud.
@@aguamalone7615 good point and to his credit the field was new so can't expect it to be perfect. Just look at Sir Isaac Newton, he did lots of things, had theories but eventually some were proven and disproven, as well as expanded.
@@peterprime2140 in counter defence, I’ve never been attracted to my mum while on coke.
Repressed memories are absolutely real. I'll share several of mine with all of you, as soon as I remember them.
“Is “the bystander effect” real? I’m going to stand back and let Brit take over”
Timestamps
0:00 Introduction
0:31 The thruth about subliminal messages
5:18 Are repressed memories real?
10:32 Does everyone has a midlife crisis?
15:55 Is the "Bystander Effect" real?
21:14 Does I.Q. really measure how smart you are?
27:11 Conclusion & Thanks
point being...
@@simrethdhingra4409 Jumping to specific subjects? Also, copy pasting this in description will actually make chapters for the video.
@@ZoidbergForPresident fair point. Fair point
Thank you 🎉
Intelligence as scored on tests is overrated. Nearly everyone's *functional* intelligence is less than their IQ would indicate. People function at less than optimum for various reasons: fatigue, inattention, stress, emotional state, distraction, etc. The biggest reason I find people perform at less than their ideal intelligence is that they're operating on auto-pilot - they're mentally checked out. The brain is very energy demanding so we've evolved to 'put it in park' to reduce stress & fatigue when we think/feel it's safe to do so. We perform poorly on many tasks in this state, which can makes us act, look or feel stupid, supergenius or not.
For example: I test above average, but I am in fact, an idiot.
Smells like pure speculation .... that being said, I'll buy it, it does seem to legitimately reconcile with my observations, and I can offer no better explanation.
@@DigitalJedi Me too. My IQ is 144, and I have two BAs. Meanwhile, my life is in shambles, only partly due to my own mistakes. I can't figure my way up out of my various holes, some of which are quite logically not "my fault," such as the deaths loved ones. I can understand Ecology, Virology, and lots more, and yet, I'm in bankruptcy (after being widowered), and can't pick a good man if my life depended on it. And it kind of does, as I'm living on disability and SNAP. I lived with abuse and neglect before becoming widowered, because emotionally, I couldn't imagine or handle the idea of losing my lifetime of possessions. So, high IQ may measure how well I can do a job, or take a test, but hasn't done squat otherwise.
@@injunsun I'm so sorry about your situation. I hope your it improves soon.
We often perform better in the "automatic" mode than if we were actively doing things like someone who's just learning it for the first time, paying more active attention. In fact, training for performance is training for automaticity. Our performance degrades for various reasons, though, but that alone wouldn't invalidate any kind of test that measured a given potential, only the assumption that it measures a constant level of performance.
The theater manager said no experiment had been conducted. Considering the backlash I'd be denying that myself.
Idk man. Seems pretty čonspiratorial to me. Unfortunately, or fortünately, subliminal mmessaging doesn’t work well enough to really be worth implementing.
Subliminal Advertising
Repressed Memory
Midlife Crisis
Bystander Effect
IQ
I’m guessing those are the topics. Darn I was hoping for them to talk about the “we only use 10% of our brain” myth.
You forgot Midlife Crisis.
@@fran6b thanks
srmbi
Thank you.
I just do not have the patience for these overly long intros.
Don't forget those Theater Ads where they essentially have product placement for Coke and Popcorn on every face of a drink or bin
🎶"Let's all go to the lobby...to get ourselves treat!" 🎶
About the mid-life crisis, I turn 45 in exactly one week. And right now I am happier than I have been in a long time. I went through a horrible miserable dark period in my mid-30’s which I think is supposedly a bit too young for it.
The IQ segment is very interesting to me. I don't know if this is still the case, but when I was a kid, the generally accepted way to administer IQ testing in children emphasized the fact that they weren't supposed to be told what the test was for. I was a very stubborn kid, and if they weren't gonna tell me why I had to take this test, I wasn't gonna DO it! Every teacher I had in grade school agreed that I *should* be in the Academic Challenge program at my school, but they couldn't PUT me there, because they didn't have an IQ score on file for me. XD
It wasn't mid-life, but on my 30th birthday, my younger brother called to ask if he could have all my records/albums. He had been lectured by an old guy in a bar, about how bad rock and roll is. He told him ,"When you turn 30, you won't like it anymore."
Rock and roll? Was this in the 70s or 80s?
@Davvy Jannes I think the old guy was talking to the younger brother.
It was the 70's, my brother was joking, eventually he ended up with all my vinyl, which is another story, he was supposed to put them on tape, never did. There is a few more obscure records there too.
You didn't give your record collection to your brother did you?
It’s just me, but my first reaction was thinking he was going to sell them off for big money. It’s my problem.
10 years ago today I DO remember exactly what I was doing because it's my 20th birthday today! Lol what a stupid coincidence
I do too cause it was may 24 weekend a holiday here me and my friends drank and drove quad 20 km in the woods camped out all weekend thats just coincidence that that happened 10 years ago one of the most exciting things ive done probably
HB blue lips
Happy Belated Birthday!
I realized I’m high functioning autistic at 41, it was difficult, and really didn’t change much except for the fact that I no longer mask my symptoms. Yay midlife crisis, brought about change.
Andrea out of curiosity, what made you realize? Was it a doctor who recommended testing? I’m happy to hear you now understand yourself better!✌🏻
I’ve always thought it, but also had a stereotype of what autism looked like. And what you see on tv and movies don’t paint the whole picture. I’ve always considered myself a super nerd. There are things that I become obsessed with COVID was one of those things. It fascinates me, in an awful way. The more I learned about it the more I was intrigued. Obsessive learning is a guess you’d say a symptom. And I’ve always visualized things in my mind like how things work and fit together. I am or can an introvert. I have routines and stick to them. I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety, now that I know where it stemming from I take better care of myself to avoid burnout. Oh also I mask by pretending I’m not a super nerd, so no one ask me 50 million questions. Where I work people will ask you questions instead of finding the information themselves. So the more I learned about ASD the more I realized that it fits me. It was like a weight was lifted.
Honesty, introverted, aloof, sometimes a daydreamer , depression, anxiety, insomnia, light sensitivity, and even bisexuality are all linked to ASD or autism spectrum disorder. Most studies have been done one men, and the brain of an autistic woman is wired differently than a man, which means if we’re just a little autistic we can cover it up. I’m also so old that they weren’t really looking for it in the 80’s and 90’s.
Andrea it seems like a long time coming for you to realize. I’m happy you now have a sense of clarity!
Women don’t get diagnosed as often as men, it’s not that women don’t have it, it’s diagnosed as eating disorders, it’s diagnosed as anxiety and depression. It also can seem like bipolar disorder. You’d have to be non verbal to be diagnosed as a girl, or have repetitive behaviors or have very socially awkward. I’m just a little socially awkward.
The man that runs the aspergers from the inside channel wasn’t diagnosed until he was in his 30’s...just a few years ago.
Someone in my family was lead to create a false repressed memory by a therapist in the 1980s. Because of that, she ended up alienating most of their family and losing about 30 years with them. She's only started spending more time with her remaining family in the past few years.
All of my intellectual capacity has been dedicated to memes, unfortunately.
I used to be an archer, then I took an arrow to the peen.
My brother has the same issue. It really hampers his critical thinking skills. I've been trying to help him, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
@@josephburchanowski4636 If the horse is drowning it will eventually inalate water.
It is not exactly drinking, but I hope it helps.
@@sailor5853 Better dead than a thorn in others' sides. :D
@@sailor5853 Instructions unclear, I am water boarding my brother every time he fails a critical thinking test. He doesn't appear to be improving, only screaming and crying.
Thank you for debunking the Kitty Genovese myth.
The biggest problem with the studies of the Bystander Effect (and Most other psychological studies) is that they are done using undergraduate students, young "adults" who are away from home and Mommy and Daddy for the first time, as well as being generally unaccustomed with being in a position of responsibility, let alone the huge responsibility of what appears to be a life or death situation being suddenly thrust onto them.
Oh, and did I mention they're UNDERGRADS? Lolol
Are you American?
I see where your coming from, and I definitely think the bystander affect is more prominent in “younger” people, especially those who have never been in a certain situation before, such as a life or death situation. Imo the affect is prevalent throughout all age groups, but is not prevalent with men or women who have had the “make the call” situation thrust upon before. I am in the army, I have only been in 3 years and I am 21, and I know that when something big comes up, there is no hesitation to jump on it and be the person in charge. I had a failed launch of a drone while in training, and the 28 year old man I was training had no idea what to do and stood there, while my 21 year old self took the reins and handled the situation. I feel like the biggest thing is experience in having being told your in charge of a potential crisis. Most of my other army buddies and police officer buddies have said that when it’s time to be in charge of an unexpected situation for the first time, they froze, as I did as well back in the day lol. But once you have had the experience of unexpected crisis being thrust upon you, it is more like a second nature, probably due to training, that you are able (and almost confident) to take charge of the situation and be the “peacemaker” instead of a bystander. Just an opinion ofc, I’m not educated in any way on the subject so I could just be rambling lol.
Someone needs to tell Kanye that nobody cares about his IQ.
@Austin Martín Hernández If Trump actually had any intelligence, the rest of the World wouldn't be laughing at him!
Anyone who refers to themselves as a genius most likely isn't.
@@kirklarson4536 Especially politicians, or anyone employed by Apple Stores!
@@stevie-ray2020 don't forget artists
Well I think he is bipolar, tending to be really euphoristic and self-enthusiastic in his "high" phases.
So that might be why.
One of my sisters (now deceased) was miserable the majority of her life. Some time in her mid-30s she had friends who were into what I thought of as crackpot healing, crystals, homeopathy. She ended up going to a hypnotist who billed herself as a hypnotherapist but as far as anyone knew she had no medical training. A year later my sister came up with some horrible accusations about most of our family. The majority were mind bogglingly impossible to have happened. We ended up going no contact and lost all touch until her landlord called to say she was dead and who was going to clean up her gigantic hoarder's nest?.
Personally, I suspect a big reason for the U-curve and happiness dip around mid-life has a lot to do with how busy, stressful, and difficult that period of life typically is. People in this age group are often raising children, dealing with the declining health of parents, juggling the most intense work responsibilities of their careers, and generally expected to have everything together and under control. I'm not saying younger and older adults don't also face challenges. College can certainly be stressful, and coping with one own declining health in old age is difficult -- and of course there are many accompanying stresses and difficulties for both groups. But generally I think people are just much more harried and short on time in middle age. Being able to take a nap or just kick back in the middle of the day -- whether because you have a couple hours off between classes or because you're retired and have a few hours before dinner, is a really nice luxury and goes a longer way toward preserving/increasing happiness than I think most people appreciate.
You hit the nail on the head. Im there RIGHT NOW. I’m 43 and apparently at that age where friends and family members are dropping like flies, my business is flourishing, my testosterone has obviously hit the off-switch, my back and knees hurt, & I am just downright overwhelmed at this point. Shit’s changing and changing FAST. And it won’t slow down either. I just said to a 19 year old client, “last I saw you was June, yeah?”
He replied, “I know! It was so long ago!”
It feels like yesterday to me. It was at THAT moment I said for the first time, “I’m getting old.”.
You are 100 percent correct about that nap. My only saving grace and what’s keeping my sanity right now is the fact that I own my own successful business and can live my life at my pace and by my own dictation. I lost my mom, then her sister, then my grandma (mom’s mom) in the past couple weeks & months. I have never been more devastated and know an all knew meaning of pain. In the past two years I have been to just as many funerals as the 41 years previous combined.
After 25 years in one profession, and a business owner, the pressure of others expecting you to get it right is imperceptible compared to the weight of knowing every decision you make has an effect on the families of the employees you are responsible for. I have done things far outside the lines of my own self centered principles and moral compass for the good of the employees. In my position there is no room for my emotions, and I wear mine on my sleeve. Compartmentalism of thoughts and emotions takes a lot of effort to maintain.
It’s a crazy time and what we have to remember is these things aren’t happening to us, they are happening around us and we’re affected by them.
In some cultures it’s “the 7 year itch,” where they claim due to the fact that you’re cells are all completely replaced and you are therefore different every 7 years that you change foo. If you just do the math, 14 is deep in puberty, 21 is the “adulthood awakening,” 42 is the “midlife crisis, 63 is elderly/retirement age…but as for all the other multiples of 7…idk what those would be.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This channel, everyone and every video, put my undergraduate and graduate psychology instructors to shame tbh.
The fear of being wrong is one of the worst fears you can have. It keeps my students from asking questions and let's bags get stolen. This is one of my top two goals for my student to know that it's ok to be wrong what's not ok is not fixing it.
At 42, my midlife crisis occurred when we realized, as our first child entered high school, that we hadn’t been saving for our three kids going to college. I thought, I’d better go first! I attended nearby Indiana University NW and became a respiratory therapist, immediately acquiring a job at Rush Presbyterian St. Luke’s hospital in Chicago! I have recently retired but I really miss my job
These “crisis” i think are a transition phase where someone’s expectations or the way they view themselves or reality changes drastically.
My husband and I are just starting our 30’s. Not quite mid life however I’ve noticed a huge change in how I perceive the present and future. I have to think about my later years and think seriously about paying off our house and saving for retirement. With all those big “end of the road” preparations being more center (and serious!) in our daily life causes a sense of sadness of how much you’ve already lived and how much time you may or may not have left. When you’re younger those responsibilities feel so far away.
I think it's the invariable result of a identity driven society, in our teens we start questioning, chasing our true identity, by our 40s, 50s, 60s society expects us to have found
"It" and fit in..but when we dont find it or we become bored this is what causes dissatisfaction
Bruce Swinford well put and most definitely a major factor on a grand scale.
Emily Jolley In our society, 30 is for many a big turning point, when they start to do adult things, seeing their parents in themselves. That is just growing up. Midlife for many people these days is carrying the load for boss, spouse, kids who are teens or running up college expenses, and elderly parents. They are mortgaged to the eyeteeth and sleep very poorly, worrying how they are going to keep this going. A midlife crisis in a bad way might include abandoning all that and running off to Bora Bora with someone young enough to be your kid. A midlife crisis in a good way might be looking at what you can change to enjoy life again without ruining everything--downsize the house, change to a job you really like even if it pays less, teach the kids that the gravy train has been replaced by a handcar, get some help with your parents, take up activities you really love but gave up when life became too hectic, and take care of yourself and your marriage before it's too late. Those years of juggling all the demands are what make the later years feel so peaceful. You can see the struggles and think, "Not my problem anymore." :)
Of course you life crises might vary. :)
@@653j521 very insightful!
Dear SciShow Psych, please mark which episodes are compilations, like the main channel does. Sincerely, Someone Who Has Been Watching Religiously Since The Channel Started
go watch, "Century Of The Self" to meet the creator of modern day emotional advertising
absolutely disgusting
Several of these facts show up in textbooks still. Which is more concerning than them being on TV
In first aid situations, before beginning to help the person, point to a specific bystander and say, "You! Call 911!"
I like how you can pay people ten bucks to be smarter.
Works with pets too (use food instead of $$) 😁😁
Hank: "Do you remember what you were doing ten years ago today?"
Me: *laughs in October 31st*
The "U curve" kind of makes sense from a general biological perspective. When you're around 40, you're very likely to be taking care of both young children and elderly parents, and of course professional responsibilities. That's a lot of stress! Contrast that with when you're younger and can still count on parents for help, or when you're elderly and can count on your children for help (and also very possibly have accumulated resources from a lifetime of work), and few if any work responsibilities.
Interesting thing on the accidentally creating false repressed memories thing, I had that process perfected when I was in middle school, like to the point that I literally cannot trust any of my memories from that time bc I would just convince myself that things happened a certain way to make lies more convincing or because I was bored by running myself through the whole visualization process.
what about the case of people with dissociative disorders? like it's a whole mental health thing to be exposed to such horrible trauma that you don't remember it. speaking as someone who suffers from dissociative amnesia (i personally do not remember most of my life up until age 20-ish), i feel like the repressed memories bit would be more accurate if it took into account the fact that people *can* have memories that their mind just refuses to consciously deal with. like dissociated trauma memories. i get that scishow is usually just bite-sized information, but even just a tidbit would have been more helpful :(
I have dissociated issues, & I also have an amazing memory (for stuff not dissociated from). I just posted that 10yrs ago today I was driving cab for a very inebriated guy...
I hate that the videos dont offer any nod to possible exceptions.
I'm sorry for your suffering, & though my dissociated states arent as bad as yours, I relate & wish you peace & joy. XO
They do not deny that people may have suppressed memories about different life events. They try to explain that these suppressed memories that were retrieved by psychoanalysts are not reliable and maybe just false memories. So it is difficult to understand which retrieved suppressed memories are real, and which are not.
@@SvetaHuh That's true. I personally wish they'd just say a qualifier like, "Though there are some extenuating exceptions,..." or something. Mostly a great channel tbh. XO
If you don’t remember most of your life, how do you know if your recovered memories are real or something your mind made up? Just curious.
@@maggiee639 that is a very real issue that i have questioned myself about multiple times, as a large portion of people with similar issues struggle with denial. such is the nature of the beast when your mind works its hardest to prevent you from remembering harmful experiences-- "are these memories real, or am i just making things up to seem like i was hurt as a child?"
typically the memories i experience are in the forms of flashbacks and my memory of experiencing them dissipates within moments unless i record them through writing. only the visceral feelings i experience from the flashback remain. those are usually ones i can be certain are "real" memories and not "intrusive fake memories," even if i don't truly "remember" them. the brain works to "re-dissociate" them as they are harmful to my mental functioning.
i can't speak for those who are currently in therapy or have sufficiently healed from the injuries to their psyche, as i don't have any experience with that.
11:07 it's impossible to know when the middle of my life is so I decided to have an ongoing crisis
I had suppressed
memories of abuse, I remembered little but 50 years or so later my mother gave me a picture of myself. All of the memories came back from looking at the pit.
Re: bystander effect, my personal experiences pretty much agree with your take. I was one of many bystanders who did not intervene in an ambiguous situation (in Paris metro). It later turned out that the intervention was not actually necessary, but the memory of the incident still bothers me.
Just makes me think of Fight Club, or in Bad Boys 2 on the highway there is a random Mountain Dew bottle that flys towards the screen when they dodge the debris.
@Foranzer486: We do *NOT* talk about Bad Boys 2!!! Or Mountain Dew!
I had something happen to me when I was about 9 or 10 years old that I completely forgot or blocked out. About 50 years later (early 2001s) my sister shared something similar that happened to her as a child. BEFORE she told me WHO it was I had a full blown memory of my abuse and the abuser. Turned out to be the same person. Now it is hard to believe I forgot such a traumatic event.
We have been raised by the television to believe that one day we would become millionaires, movie gods and rockstars, but we won't.
We are slowly learning the fact that we are very pissed off.
If you pay closer attention, in all movies and series, it's always one person or a small group of people who rises to the top, rather than everyone in the entire world becoming god-like status-wise at the same time.
Or having the perfect marriage with the perfect mate with perfect (or a bit mischievous) kids, living in a perfect house with a perfect picket fence.
I love seeing and hearing so many of you in a single video.
I'm literally in the process of a mid-life crisis, no question. However what I find most interesting is the bit about the bystander effect. I always thought it was something set in stone, like just a hard fact of reality for humans and even some other animals.
I had a repressed memory from my first day in kindergarten, and it did affect me, until i remembered it ( I was around 3 making the memory and 14 recalling it). I have some memories from before i started kindergarten too. No therapists were involved.
I had an iq test to help diagnose my learning disability. What was really interesting to me was how unevenly dispersed my skills were. I did VERY poorly (like a score of 70) in the maths related section but tested in the 99th percentile for audio recall.
It's often the way with many supposed learning disability that it's only a specific kind of skill or learning that is perhaps performing lower than average - many people have amazing strengths in other arenas but they are overshadowed by their disability.
strange/sad that when you don't do well in school they *test* you. your "disability" results in large part from the inadequacies of the system to teach people who don't learn well in the standardized model. i was lucky. my mother was a teacher, and i did well in school. but i saw it fail a lot of people because it couldn't serve them properly. yet somehow it managed to blame them for the problem.
Maggie, you might want to look into what 2e , twice exceptional. Which basically is "giftedness plus a learning disability.
There are definitely things I know have happened with no memory to connect it to. Mostly traumatic ones. I cut half my finger off with a bread slicing machine when I was 10 and I have the scar and misshapen finger to prove it but my mum later told me all kinds of information about that day that I should've had but don't remember.
I mark that up as "my brain was too busy worrying about my missing flesh to pay attention to anything else".
"Grabs a popcorn and a coke"
Why did I just do that?
Strangely the biggest truth is everybody lies. Figuring out if they're trying to convince you or themselves of the lie, is the only question.
Never had a mid life crisis until now. At 72 I think I may be having one now. Anyone have a Ferrari to sell cheap and are there young ladies care to have a low cost affair?
On a slightly more serious note. I have had 3 IQ tests in my life. Before entering High School, the school required an IQ test before you were accepted and I think the minimum was an IQ of 110. I do not know what I got on that test, but I did get into the school. Just before Graduation from High school we were tested again and I got a score of 147. Just before graduating from College, I took another as part of a study being done and scored 168. Like the Character in Big Bang Theory, though not quite as bad, my social skills were lacking Though I have had a successful career and am comfortably retired now.
Also in High School, we were asked for our earliest memories, mine was one of my mother giving me a bottle. I no longer have that memory, just what I wrote down about it around 1962. My earliest memory now was when I was about 4. We had spent Christmas Eve visiting relatives scattered about the city. We were driving to our last visit after sating supper and even the prospect of more presents did not stir any enthusiasm for the trip in me because I was very tired at that point. We were driving on an overpass, when my mother, perhaps to cheer me up, punted out to all the houses we could see with Christmas lights from that raised vantage point. I looked out over the rows of house visible below and had what can only be an flash of insight and realized that there was no way that Santa Claus could visit all those houses in one night, much less all the other houses in other cities around the world. I also concluded that tales of a Santa Claus were not true. I blurted out "Santa Claus is not real," at which point, my sister who was two years older than me, began to beat me up yelling "Santa Claus is Real!" It did not change my conviction. I was reminded of that incident every year at Christmas time, mainly to be admonished not to proclaim that knowledge of Santa to cousins and other young children who still believed in Santa Claus. I never understood the reason to lie about a Santa Claus.
I like the speed, tones and volume of this video's 1st host's voice. Idk his name, but his voice is pleasant to listen to.
10:56 how kind of you to assume I’ll ever be able to afford a bright yellow Ferrari
This video made me feel better about people 😊
Next week, "5 Myths You've Probably Seen on YT".
Sorry, can I just say that I love the profile picture
Simreth Dhingra why
@@Aethelhadas just made me laugh, cause for a second I literally thought I had a new message crop up
Simreth Dhingra why
@@Aethelhadas why
The bystander effect is real. I've seen it happen, walking past someone laying in the road after coming off his bike probably being hit by a car behind. I was the only one to call an ambulance. I didn't even stop.
"It's got electrolytes!"
It's got what plants crave.
It's what plants crave!
There are still plenty therapists out there who entered the field because of specific personal issues and who coach clients to fit their preconceived ideas
Good show! You have no idea how this helps. Thanks for sharing the information. ✌🏼
Btw, I'm in my 50's and I'm STILL waiting for the mid-life crisis, don't buy the lie.
intelligence is measured by someone's ability to adapt to change
I think you can have a “midlife crisis” at any point in your life. It’s more about a failure to meet some significant goal by a set time frame.
I always assumed that by 25 I’d be married with at least one child. It wasn’t really a goal, more like a matter of fact.
So at the ripe old age of 24, when I’d been on a single date, never lost my virginity I’d been trying to dispose of since I was 15, was suffering from a terrible hormone issue that was undiagnosed, and what is probable infertility, I started to panic.
I took risks I shouldn’t have, and never would have if I’d been in my right mind. By my 25th birthday things had only gotten worse.
For the better part of two years, I was only going through the motions, losing enjoyment in just about everything. The depression hit hard, and even now that life is looking a tad brighter, nearly three years after the fact, that fear and desperation is still looming over my shoulder.
Some days it is still hard to get up and function, when all I want to do is die.
If that doesn’t count as a midlife crisis, I don’t know what does.
My 28th birthday is drawing closer, and already the darkness is threatening to take me over once again. 💔
I hope it just gets better and brighter for you.
I hope it will get better
This sounds very challenging as you had such a strong idea of definitive reality which simply did not come true. I hope things get better for you. As someone who is also “behind” on some things (ie. relationships) understand you are by no means alone. Everyone takes everyday at their own pace. Know that you mold your own reality, not the world around you. You got this and I know things will get better soon. Take care!
Eh, I was similar in thought at the same time, but also thought to myself, is that where I'd really want to be right now which helped a lot.
That sounds like drpression that goes beyond your life situation and may be clinical. I hope you've gotten help.
I remember recalling a repressed memory! It was a traumatic experience for a child, but not an adult. Anyone remember the Slime Monster from Ghost Writer? It scared the living hell outta me. I had completely repressed it until a TH-camr made a video about it. It was the WEIRDEST feeling.
I keep all my traumatic thoughts in my brain's Trauma Closet. How many file containers can my brain's Trauma Closet hold, and why is it currently re-organizing things??? Will we ever know?
It's self - defense by cognitive dissonance. A person has to cope in this world to move forward, and sometimes putting experiences (and particularly the parent tapes) in a closet is the only way it can be done sometimes.
What I assumed about mid life crisis was that they stem from not living a life true to yourself, and having that realisation at a later stage in life when it dawns on you that you are truly aging and have a limited time left.
IQ tells you the size/horsepower of the car engine, NOT whether you know how to drive it
DING DING DING we have a winner!
Memory is so weird. There are a couple I have that are reactions to something I can't actually remember. I don' t pay any attention to TV commercials because an ad I no longer recall convinced me, "They think I am stupid." Only remember the reaction.
There are a couple of fights I was roped into during junior and senior high I do not remember. My mom brought them up years after they had happened and the conversation explained certain shifts in my social interactions I couldn't understand. She informed me that the girls-- two girls at once in high school -- had attacked me and I proceeded to beat the snot out of them. This was a shock to me. Still have no memory of me fighting, but I do remember the beginnings of one of the incidents.
Would be better to call this video "As seen on TV Myths"
Wow! It works! I want popcorn just for her talking about it!
Did no one do studies on subliminal IMAGES or even sounds??? If not, the only thing proven is that it doesn't work with words.
I think it would work with Images and Sounds, like going to the loo when you hear trickling water or seeing a picture of a footballer in brightly coloured boots....maybe
Brit- I've got to say, I love your haircut. I love how one side only comes down to your jaw line and the other side goes down longer, but I'm super curious on what the back looks like?
10 years ago today, I was in Cambridge. Homeless and a lovely lady who worked in a bakery give me a sandwich and a sleeping bag.
The fact that people will believe in these things just bc they’re on TV proves that when we create harmful stereotypes about people and show them on TV that people will end up really believing them and they won’t just consider them “jokes”
I now doubt all of my traumatizing memories lol
^ which is a common symptom of people who've been abused. It really did happen, just that abused people often have doubts caused by gaslighting, manipulation, etc. Something that helps me is that I told other people before anyone else talked to me about it.
@@mmtruooao8377 Telling people, eh? That was pretty brave of you ^^
the original upload of the “repressed memory” part of this scishow video from 2 years ago is FULL of frustrated comments from therapists, trauma survivors and other people posting links to reproducible studies of specific parts of the brain having reduced matter in trauma victims, describing differences between negative-tinged memories the brain confabulates & memories suddenly flashing back that make their heart beat & skin sweat like it’s happening in real life, and giving anecdotal evidence of their repressed memories being corroborated by family memories decades after the trauma apparently occurred, and just generally being like “HANK WTF WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS”..... so don’t worry, you’re not alone in thinking that _that_ part of this video was really Really ill-advised & stupid 😏
There is a difference:
A: You remember the trauma.
or
B: A therapist constantly tells you about a trauma you could possibly have, until you think you remember it.
In the first case your memories are (most likely) real. In the second case you should doubt it.
@@TheSassi14 scenario B. reminds me of Black butler, if you know the show
Thank you so much for uploading this video. It is helping me get through the pandemic!
Someone should explain to him the difference between cynical and skeptical... and then to whoever wrote his teleprompter
I worked in magazine graphic advertising in the late 70’s. There WAS lots of subliminal graphics added to ads, like naughty images painted into ice cubes, or “all-American” images or words like puppies or Mom in backgrounds on liquor or cigarette ads to make the items look wholesome. I don’t know if it worked, but I did see and participate in it being done.
I see ya trying to get a little diversity amongst the crew...dope..much love the show is awesomeness and I'm as dorky as the crew.🖖
I have repressed memories. It's something I recovered before entering therapy. My classmate had terrible boundaries and after I graduated, I started to research if I was taken advantage of. the thing is, to move on through life, I've always tried not to think of distresses so i can function normally. After graduating, i was jobless, locked in my room, it gave me space to think, and thinking deeply and finally reading about unwanted touches-sent me back-end not to my college days-but back to when i was 5years old when a grandpa would touch me. It was a very distressing memory, and i knew it was real, i just didnt think of it for so long because my reaction to remembering that was get so ashamed and bathe myself, anything to get rid of the used feeling. I brought this up in therapy, it wasnt suggested to me, i talked about all the instances i freeze and i just let things be over. Through the line, i openes up to mom, and she knew the old man, how he used to be my grandma's suitor. I also discovered the official dates we moved close to the old man's store.. That i was 5yrs old, meanwhile i thought i was aroynd 8 or 9 because it was so far back.
Interesting…I think the processes behind the Dunning-Kruger curve might explain the shape of the U curve of the mid-life crisis
Anthony's voice is relaxing
I had a huge IQ as a preschooler and was expected to be a genius but I couldn't read till I was in my mid 20s and still can't spell or use grammar properly in my 30s. Among other things.
Yeah, my mid-life crisis is in full swing, because I've been an introvert with extrovert wishes that I had trouble acting upon. Therapy might have helped, but in my circles therapy was dissed, so I never got it, until recently, when I started to spit back at any opinion that is against psychological or psychiatric treatment.
40 is middle-aged? Is the assumption that everyone will die at 80? I might live to be 100! Humans are living longer, so my middle-age might be 50! It's not always the case that you get miserable when you get older. Now that I'm in my 40's, my life is better than it was when I was in my childhood, 20's and 30's. The older I get, the wiser I get, and the happier I get. When I look back at my youth, I was actually really miserable! I see how dumb I was, I think about the mistakes I made, and I never wanna go back to being young again. Society needs to work on getting away from this mid-life crisis narrative, because it trains people to expect that misery awaits them when they hit 40.
Idk repress memories, I forced myself to forget events that happened when I was little, and only remembered them later in life. Now it's a habit of mine to forget what's happening when I'm stressed or scared, for example during the lead up to assessments due for uni.
Same
I managed movie theaters in college and I knew about subliminal messages being bs. I challenged a college graphic design prof on this and I did not win any fans and it probably affected my grade.
My experience with memory suppression was that I was aware the event happened but I convinced myself it wasn't as bad as it was. The memory was a bit foggy and I told myself I was okay with what happened, about a year later I was in a better place to fully process what had happened and how bad it really was.
From other people I've talked to about situations like this it seems like this kind of suppression is fairly common.
My father always maintained that "Lawrence of Arabia" was just one long subliminal message to get theater goers to buy drinks at the snack bar.
They even had an interlude at the middle, so to make sure.
I believe wholeheartedly that the bystander effect is real. Just recently an old man was mugged at the entrance of an underground station. He fell down the escalator, started bleeding and many people passed by and nobody helped... This happened in Prague, you can Google it. It's upsetting but it's real...
Um NO. Repressed memories are actual science, and in the DSM-IV are a feature of conditions like DA, OSDID and DID being just a few common ones in the public sphere.
Yeha this is extremely triggering to trauma survivors
They’re not saying all repressed memories are false, they’re saying that repeated heavy suggestion in intensely emotional situations in a setting of power imbalance (like that between a psychologist and a patient) can make people think of things so vividly and colourfully that the memory of that imagined event is sometimes indistinguishable from memories of actual events.
It’s a scientifically documented fact, there’s plenty of research on it.
If something traumatic happened to you, you'd remember. I wish I could forget.
The DSM-IV is outdated and no longer used. The current one is the DSM-5. It does not include repressed memories. Most college/ university libraries have a copy of the current DSM and you can check it out for yourself.
@@lilimarlene7813 My bad switch the V and The I around. I meant the DSM 5. And yes it does. The entire basis of western psychiatry is based on the consept. Seriously. Freud, Jung, do you even know what you are talking about or are you just arguing to look clever. I'm arguing based on a) facts Nd b) because it has real implications for people suffering from this. Pray tell your motivation for your comments, all be they incorrect in their entirety, still I'd love to know what your stance and where this is coming from.
My entire life before 40 was a crisis. 😂. BPD, body issues, horrible confidence. After 40 has been the best time in my life. I feel like I’ve had a reverse midlife crisis. At 44 I’m happier than I have ever been. It’s nice for a change.
As i dont know when i will die i decided to have an ongoing mid life crisis
Always interesting, thank you.