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Yes, thank you, Lauren. I've long had to prioritize sleep for my mental health and need about nine hours. Phases of insomnia snowball into personal madness and increased vulnerability to persecutory auditory hallucinations in social milieu. I like bedtime now as a respite from engaging, and I practice zen-like mind emptying, progressive body parts muscle relaxation, and, alas, I medicate (a cocktail) knowing fully that stopping the benzos part will result in a horrible withdrawal preriod -- rife with anxiety, exacerbated schizoaffective condition, and annoying muscle and nerve tics. I choose this over not sleeping and the resulting psychosis.
Yasss. Delusions make me the same way. I also hear things, maybe people next door, sometimes me. I get scared that I will go to sleep before everyone else too. Enlightening
I relate with the "having to get up again in the morning" feeling. I often find myself being pissed in the morning because I wake up again. Thank you for sharing and making me feel like i'm not crazy for feeling this way.
Been there. For me my mental health stuff seem to first be prominent at night time, so I began to associate night time with a dreaded time. I somehow manage to teach myself some distraction strategies with my thoughts. To this day, I still use these mental strategies at night, especially if I have something that is of concern Hey, would love the idea of weighted blanket, but menopause would not make this possible.
weighted blankets rule! The weight of the blanket signals to my body that it’s bedtime and I find it easier to fall asleep. Melatonin is useful too when I’m really wound up. My partner and I having separate blankets has been useful to avoid waking up at night.
I was just diagnosed with schizophrenia, and I never heard someone describe the visions on the inner eyelids. I find it intense and unsettling. Thank you for addressing it.
Welcome! This forum is a place that’s safe to be free with your struggles…lots of good people here! My advice for anyone who’s just been diagnosed is to understand that mood stabilizers and antipsychotics don’t work immediately, BUT if your medications are causing serious side effects, bring that up with your doctor right away. It also really helps to have a trusted advocate (family, friend, or even a therapist) to help you navigate the system and communicate important information to your doctors/treatment team. I know I needed that so much when I was first hospitalized at 17. I’m 51 now so many issues were with the awful side effects of the older antipsychotics as well as my poor resolution of symptoms. My father stepped in to no avail. Quickly he took me out AMA (since was 18) and paid for me to go to an amazing private psych hospital where I stayed for around 5 months. My main point is to have someone you TRUST to be able to question your treatment when you can’t or afraid to (some psychiatrist are dicks and make you feel as if your every thought makes no difference. Simone you trust to check on you without judgment about med compliance, a trustworthy ear and someone you can have fun with,,,,even if that means avoiding the over-stimulation of too many people and of atmosphere. Glad you are here ☺️
@@емілі-п1в yep. A lot in common. My mom was a psych nurse!! She let it go! My symptoms began at 9 and I’m 37 with my first really bad episode 4 years ago!! Beautifully said too. We really need each other. It’s a lonely painful illness. No reason to suffer alone ever!!
I have patterns and colors when i close my eyes to sleep as well. It is maddening. I never heard this as a symptom of schizoaffective disorder, which i have been diagnosed. I thought it was due to eye strain or my severe myopia. I also stay wake nights, because of less visual stimuli, and tend to sleep during the day. i do dread waking up as well, because then i have to repeat certain tedious tasks i have grown to despise. i also abhor repetition. That's why i often abandon everything and accomplish so little. That and the utter lack of motivation that afflicts me. I lack the impetus to even shower, brush my hair or teeth. Without the urging of my sig other i would never bother. It may sound disgusting, but there have been times when i haven't showered for months. The sensation of the water hitting me causes me such discomfort and distress, i want to scream. And i have developed an aversion to any touch. When someone casually touches my arm, i want to saw it off, it literally burns! The sensation lasts for hours, even the cats brushing up against me.
I thought the feeling of not wanting to go to sleep because then it would be morning instantly was very rare and that I was strange, but I'm glad to know that it's common if you have depression.
I admire you so much. My son has schizoaffective disorder. He struggles so much with so many things. Sleep is definitely one. Thank you so much for your videos. They are so informative 😊❤️
I’ll pray for your son. It’s a heartbreaking illness to have but I’d never imagine coping as a mom watching it happen to your baby. Much love and many hugs to you. God bless.
I’ve finally realized we all need each other and we need to band together and fight back. We can do this. But you’re never alone. We must keep talking to each other sharing tips and our experiences. This woman is amazing for these videos. She is a blessing. Much love ❤️
I wish there was a switch I could flip to turn off my mind when I lay down at night. For me, it's scary not being able to control my mind and my thoughts. I feel like a prisoner of my own mind. I have schizoaffective bipolar type.
I have schizoaffective bipolar type as well. Every night is a challenge for me as well hun. I feel like a prisoner in my own mind as especially living with both my husband and my mother in law. Life is hard but God is so good and His mercy is amazing! 🙂🙌💕
meditation / mindfulness might help. it's all about being more aware and developing more comfort just experiencing your awareness of the present moment, more comfort in your mind. it also has evidence showing it improves time to fall asleep as well as quality of sleep. it sure helps me a lot at the least. best wishes
Very relatable, thank you! My issues with sleep are also because of a history of nightmares that started an avoidance of going to sleep. The act of going to bed is very hard for me, once I'm already tired. If I can get ready for bed, before I reach a point of being too tired, I can get ready for bed ok, but otherwise it's a difficult process. Thank you for bringing this topic to light.
I have been always afraid of sleep - for me it feels like having a death every day. The feeling that my consciousness will disapper soon really scares me. Anyone who feels like this about sleep?
Yup! Went on anxiety medication and that has been out a lot. But I’ve stopped. But yeah more and more so that I am realizing that I should be on my anxiety medications!
I’ve recently been dxed with psychotic depression and although I know it’s not the same as schizophrenia but you’re channel has been immensely helpful for me when I got out of the psych ward.
Thank you for speaking out about this. I’ve been dealing with this for years. But this video helped me identify why I keep doing it… because it’s safe!!!! And then the dreadful feeling as well. I stay on the couch all night sometimes by accidentally falling asleep & not going up to bed because I was just so comfortable and safe late at night when everything is quiet and slow.
I've never liked the feeling of falling asleep. The sensation is supremely uncomfortable. Like losing control. It's the same reason I won't drink, try drugs, and the reason new medications are such a challenge.
That is why is called “falling a sleep.” It actually feels like you are falling. I use it to like that feeling. I don’t feel that anymore. I feel like I can’t breathe. I don’t feel safe anymore.
ohhh thank you! thank you! I didn't have words or an explainable concept for this until I heard you talk about it. I deal with this same thing every night and didn't quite know what was going on. I don't know that I can do anything about it now but its nice to know I'm not the only one.
Gosh its 5:44am …im so tired, cant sleep, i had a big fear of the dark and sleeping in the dark for years… my meds are unfilled, and it hit me today, i just didnt took anything, im just sad i cant sleep
I have, for my entire life, had to struggle to sleep. My mind would race through thoughts as though I had to absolutely figure everything out right then. I did have some nighttime trauma as a child and it absolutely could have originated in that but what I struggled with was not knowing "why" I was seeing the images I was when I would close my eyes. I can only describe it as dancing or moving colors or hues against the darkness that would start to have a structured shape. I would get a fleeting image of a tree or a truck or a face I couldn't quite make out. I would wonder if these images were supposed to mean something and if so what and who was sending them, etc. Went on for years, in fact still does, but because I have an obsessive need to understand things I did quite a bit of research. Turns out these images, mine anyway, are a common response of the brain and optical functions trying to work as normal (eyeball sees something, sends the input to the brain to decipher the image.) when in fact it can't simply because it's dark. Even though our eyes are closed they're still being told that there is something to see; we are actively looking in the neurological sense. Even though our eyes are closed they're still trying to see or rather we're still trying to use them to see. To understand what I mean close your eyes in a room that has a direct source of light and then move your hand back and forth between your eyes and the light source. You'll see the shadow of your hand. Then turn off the light and do it. Your brain will still be looking for that shadow change So the brain, in its absence of optic input, starts trying to interpret a lack of input in any way it can. Shapes and colors and familiar imagery. Consciously attempting to relax the optic muscles while meditating on my breath has worked wonders. Until I learned this it was mostly stressful to go to sleep. I still have to take medication to sleep to quiet my mind but I'm taking less and finding the whole process more peaceful. I hope this helps anyone that might be reading that experienced anything similar.
Has anyone ever learned that there is a holistic ortho molecular psychological healing from schizophrenia and other mental disorders if they are willing to be humble and learn
@@yelenarotar2307 It gave me a peace when I found it out, truly. Add to it realizing that specifically working to really relax the optical muscles really works well, especially when just focussing on my breath ala meditation style really helps. Any time I notice that I am thinking of something else I just refocus on my breath and relaxing those eye muscles. It's also physically relieving around the eye sockets in a way that they had never experienced 😍
Television with sound on low works well for me. The sounds, lights and voices on the t.v. work me into a dream state, drowns out my own thoughts. Its almost as though it does start speaking directly to me, it becomes a real part of my reality but by that time im lost half in dream. People have said to me that the feeling for them feels like ghosts and ill admit that it most certainly does but for me its always been a friendly and spiritual phenomenon. I dont know why but i like it when most dont, i guess I feel less alone.
For as long as I can recall, I’ve fought sleep. Going to sleep can be terrifying for me. It’s not dread about waking up, it’s dread about what will happen when I sleep. I have nightmares due to CPTSD, but also hyper vigilance about what could happen if I “allow” myself to be so vulnerable. It’s a relief that you brought this up. Thank you, Lauren.
I went through hell coming off paxil once. Was awake for 10 days straight. Struggled for about a year to get it under control afterwards. My biggest take away and it sounds silly it’s not overthink sleep. That is to say, when you lie down in bed and you already have that feeling of oh no I’m a little unsettled and I’m not gonna have a good nights sleep: give into it completely, tell yourself “OK tonight Sleep is going to suck but you know I’ll get some thing out of it. I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again. And like the many sailors at sea, mothers with newborns and astronauts in the international space station, I can survive on some crappy sleep for a while.” And then when it’s good be thankful. Sounds trite and basic but it was life-changing for me. Doing your best to make sure your sleep hygiene is good but not going crazy and getting really rigid about it seems to help. It’s a form of surrender.
Do dreams impact you worse then normal too? Since i can remember past puberity i couldnt sleep unless i take sleep aids..and it got old FAST! my dreams are SO REAL and when i wake up sometimea i cannot shake the feelings they gave me untill i sleep again.....everything you said was so spot on....ive always hated sleep...when the moon comes out is my safe time as well, i need to go to the dr asap i think
I have GAD PTSD and bipolar. Sleep has always been a challenge. I remember as a little girl just laying awake at night trying to avoid nightmares or because I genuinely couldn't sleep. Also during my manic episodes I couldn't sleep at all. I take a sleeping pill now but I hate having to do it. I'm not sure I get the correct kind of sleep as I feel sluggish until about noon. Its better than laying awake at night though. Love your content, thank you for sharing your experiences.
I struggle with this as well! It’s a feeling that’s been so hard to describe but you did it perfectly. I was doing okay for a while but over the last couple weeks I’ve had that uneasy feeling about going to sleep again. My dreams are so wild and exhausting sometimes and I just don’t feel like dealing with it 😭
Do you listen to anything when you sleep? I like to turn on something I've listened to over and over again so I can half-listen to it and go to sleep with some background noise.
There are times where I'm scared of going to bed because I know I won't be able to get up and do things when I wake up. And the longer I put it off the worse it gets. During those times I'll usually be hypomanic (or something like it) and I'll use putting off sleep as a subconscious way of chasing the mania.
This really couldn't have come at a better time. I'm having so much trouble sleeping, even with medication. My paranoia kicks in full gear, which adds to my anxiety and likelihood of panic attacks. Then delusions, then hallucinations, etc. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
You just described my life and sleep 100% to the T. Now I would love to see what you have found to help. Nothing I find helps. Thank you for sharing I thought it was just me.
Wow, I didn’t know this was a thing. I thought maybe everyone could possibly struggle with this. When I read the title, I just had to watch lol. I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do have both BP1 and BPD. In my case, I struggle with both showering (especially alone) and sleeping. When it comes to showing, I am always terrified because when I blink or close my eyes, I see images of demons and more recently, the figure from ‘The Nun’. The best thing I could do is to blast music in the shower to drain my thoughts. As for sleeping, I think we’re similar is some ways. I feel like I’m wasting time by sleeping. I think I could get more accomplished when I’m awake. *Trigger warning ⚠️ * when it comes to the process of trying to sleep I think that’s hard for me. For one, when I take sleep meds I feel like I’m being put to death. It’s a very disturbing feeling. I also feel extremely heavy and lethargic in the am.
You’re the most relatable person I’ve seen here. Thank you so much for discussing something I go through everyday. Ever since I was younger I would go through this and I had no idea how to put it to words but you did. Thank you!
I've been telling my family about this, that I have the scary images behind my eyes when I try to go to sleep and it keeps me awake, and no one else does that not my friends or family. I've recently had a stay in the psych ward for the first time and been diagnosed with major depression. the abilify they put me on has made it a bit worse but I am going to talk about it at my appointment soon anyway its so nice to see that this is a thing that other people do because it was starting to freak me out no one else I knew had it happen lol
Omgosh this helps me so much because I often have been curious why my partner doesn't want to go to sleep yet he also needs so much sleep. I want to be supportive and can recall a couple times when my partner definitely was waiting for me to go to bed together, sadly a couple times I told him to go to bed without me, I definitely want to be more supportive in the future understanding that he may be having anxiety.
I used to take Remeron to put me to sleep. It was nice because it was not an antipsychotic but a depression pill. I generally got good sleep with it. Now I sleep well on my own. I think having a comfy bed, the right temperature and a weighted blanket helps as well.
Having a physically demanding job (arborist and excavator) helps with sleep. Being physically tired helps so much and I think it helps me deal with the mental exhaustion as well.
I have problems sleeping due to PTSD. I used to see scenes of the abuse whenever I closed my eyes. I would get up, write it down in a notebook and then I could sleep. I don't see those scenes of abuse anymore but I am still scared to fall asleep because I feel very vulnerable when I am asleep. Sleeping with a safe person (my partner) helps. He always goes to sleep before me. When I am alone having my cat sleeping with me helps. I want to try a weighted blanket soon. Most sleeping meds don't work for me but a couple have helped.
Interesting you should put this video out now. I have been ruminating for the last 2-3 weeks about my company's work schedule. I keep trying to explain to them that my sleep is very important if they want me to come in with any kind of cognition. Seasonal affective disorder explains things pretty well when you have to follow your circadian rhythm. Now that the daylight savings time has ended and we set our clocks back an hour it's not so much of an issue. But when daylight savings time comes back around oh, it will be an issue again.
Thank you for this video Lauren❣️ I’ve never realized I wasn’t the only one that feels EXACTLY as you explained in this video❣️ I don’t have an answer of course and I’m sad thst you and likely other people too now go thru this really hard and complicated exhausting triggering struggle. But I hope someday we can find a solution for all of us.♥️
Wanting to stay awake at night because of how much more peaceful and safe it was during depression, is extremely relatable. I would pull all nighters all the time in high school because I just didn't want to go to sleep and give up that time to feel calm. Also, I don't have a psychotic disorder but I do have PTSD from using psychedelics too much and losing touch Sometimes I'll start dreaming before I've fully fallen asleep and I'll kind of freak out thinking that I'm hallucinating. It can make going to sleep extremely difficult.
All you describe is all I've struggled with all my life. Weighted blanket is essential. The cons i have with it is I open mouth breath during sleep and always somehow end up on my back. The combination of these factors result in sleep paralysis and night terrors and the weight seems to keep me locked in this cycle of terror and hallucinations. And nighttime usually heightens my paranoia and hallucinations on its own so I'm stuck in this cycle.
First, thank you for your channel. What a wonderful service and wonderful job you do! I do not have a mental illness, and I am not a psychiatrist, but I've certainly had my share of sleepless nights, so I thought I would share something that seems to work well for me when I'm trying to 'slow down' and get some sleep. I listen to a podcast by Dr. Andrew Huberman. I love this guy and find his podcast fascinating. However, it's a bit over my head while being very interesting at the same time and a complete departure of my 'every day life' - what I think about such as the news and my work. I used to listen to the news on TV at night, but it's so worrisome, so that didn't really work well. Dr. Huberman's podcast seems to be just the right amount of fascinating and semi-dull information - only in that it is so scientific. All I can say is I love listening to it - and it also seems to put me to sleep! In particular, his podcast on "Why We Dream" is a favorite of mine. Just enough to make me mull over his brillance and the science - so much so that I nod off rather quickly! Just a suggestion to try out yourself and push away bad thoughts... p.s., I also turn my phone over so that the light doesn't shine in my eyes:) Good luck and thanks again for your efforts here! Best
My mind and body is so amped up from being hypervigilant I was perscribed heavy sedatives to help me sleep but when I have a depressive episode I find sleep as an escape mechanism and sometimes wish never to wake up again. Other times even after taking medication on a good day it is still troublesome for me to sleep due to the constant racing thoughts and the cycle goes on.
I always feel so safe at night time and can totally relate to what you said! Trying to fall asleep is like torture some nights or most nights. Thank you for bringing attention to this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone
Totally relate but didn’t know it until you said in video! I feel like night time is more peaceful and involves less interruptions that could trigger irritableness and yes that feeling of I don’t want it to end.
This is highly relatable. I like sleeping, but it's so much easier for me to do it during the day than at night. The not wanting to face the next day, the mind racing and running away into different scenarios and tangents. All of that. 100% relatable.
You described my relationship with sleep perfectly. Totally resonate with you. I also LOVE my weighted blanket and for me (diagnosed depression and anxiety) I find white noise or a podcast or something helps to distract from racing thoughts etc. X
Oh my goodness! You give voice to so many of our symptoms! For me, I’ve often felt like some of my hallucinations are behind my eyelids! Such a great way to describe it. My delusions also increase…I am afraid to sleep because someone is watching me sleep and putting thoughts into my head or reading my thoughts more easily when I fall asleep. The best thing that helps me is listening to a thunderstorm or waves or whatever sounds (not music) soothe you. For some reason my brain focuses more on that calming sound and helps stop me from ruminating or having as much interrupted sleep. It’s almost like when my other senses are not involved as much my mind focuses more on the calm auditory stimuli rather than my paranoia and visual types of hallucinations you mention. I find it easier and safer to sleep more soundly and without so much fear. There are great TH-cam “videos” that have a black screen and many hours of these soothing sounds. THANK YOU so much for addressing this issue in particular! It’s so good to know that I’m not alone in experiencing them. 🥰
One of the things that helps me, although I don't always do it, is a nightly ritual. Taking a hot epson salt bath, putting on my favorite pjs, a super cozy bed and going to bed every night at the same time all contribute to a good nights sleep. Just like with little ones, I seem to need the process of unwinding and routine. Thank you for sharing this, I thought I was the only one!! xo
I have had poor sleep for many years. I also have slightly heightened blood pressure, and I find taking propranolol for my blood pressure at night, also improves sleep somewhat. Thanks for the vlog!
What I've found to help most with this is listening to an audio book when I go to sleep. Preferably one I've heard before so it's ok if I fall asleep and miss some. I usually let the book play for around three to five hours. This makes it so that I fall asleep easier and also when I inevitably wake up through the night my mind goes "Oh, we're at this part of the book" and I fall back asleep. This helps me a lot because I get a lot of racing thoughts when I go to bed that keep me up and at times will even agitate me to the point where my pulse is really racing, I'm practically rotating in bed and sleep is impossible. This combined with a weighted blanket and a sleep mask is really what helps me go to sleep and stay asleep.
@@JulHud420 Just make sure you use the sleep timer and/or turn internet off when you sleep. Because audible has recently started automatically playing a "recommended listen" at the end of a book and that has confused me quite a few times :) easy fix though as long as you're aware of it.
Your thoughts and the comments are really life affirming. Struggling with sleep right now which can make you feel so alone, chastising yourself for what may be out of your control. We are not alone. Sleep science is so interesting. Love to you all.
I have never heard anyone talk about this subject. When my symptoms were really bad, I would close my eyes and just see thousands of insects crawling very fast. " behind my eyelids " as you said. It's horrible and people don't understand what we are talking about,which is also horrible!😐thank for addressing this issue.
Thank you for helping me realize why I dread falling asleep and my relationship with sleep. I’m so grateful for you and everyone who helped create this video 🙏🏾
I have pretty severe anxiety, and recurrent insomnia and 100% relate to waiting for my partner to go to sleep/forcing him to go to bed early with me because it feels safe and comfortable. In the past I have done CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) and a couple takeaways that I found helpful is that often insomnia stems from performance anxiety around being able to sleep. If we remove the pressure to get a good sleep or set up the perfect sleep environment and stop catastrophizing about what will happen if we have a bad sleep - it can help. This isn't to say that sleep hygiene isn't important but I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have this perfect bedtime "ritual" and if anything gets thrown out of wack it sets off sleepless nights. Also - I have learned through CBT-I that quality sleep is way more important than quantity. I know not everyone will benefit from CBT-I and the process of examining the thought patterns around sleep, but for some it can be super helpful and it can be a more effective long-term approach than medications. Although I still have sleepless nights here and there, my bouts of full-blown insomnia are fewer and far between since my treatment and I have not touched sleep medications in almost 2 years.
Omg you have explained this so so perfectly i have never been able to get it and whe ni say i just dont really like sleeping its always seen as a sign of my illness when actaully its a perfectly rational response to my experience of what sleep has meant in my life. When i say i dont want to sleep it is so different to i dont need sleep (which is obv a manic symptom but i think its good to differentiate those!
This is me!!! Something I have found helpful is putting on an episode or two of an old sitcom while I am falling asleep. It is familiar and lighthearted and keeps my mind engaged enough to distract me from other thoughts but isn't interesting enough to keep me awake. I usually play the episode on my phone and flip it over so the screen is facing down and the light won't keep me awake. It also is a good gauge for me to see how long it is taking me to fall asleep.
I know that alcohol would only exacerbate the problem for me. I find that since getting sober, yes I do stay up later, but the overall quality of the little sleep I do manage to get is much better. I have built a routine around bedtime. I usually write for a half hour, which lets me empty of any nervous energy I may have accumulated over the day. Then I spend an hour and a half doing something just to relax. About a half hour before going to bed I light an essence stick and make something warm to drink. Over time it became a trained response that signals my brain to start gearing down for sleep. Whenever I stray from it I just can't sleep no matter what now, though. But when I keep to it, even if I get 5 hours of sleep it will be more or less uninterrupted. Which for me is the win. The things I see can get intense, especially things that have happened and my mind is replaying back for me. Even on a good night, I can't help but wake up 3 or 4 times. I have yet to find anything that helps overcome that as yet.
What bothers me about sleep? Sometimes my stressors manifest in my dreams, like people knocking down my door or people coming at me with sharp objects, or fire. I like the thought of sleep as "getting away" but I think my meds really influence my sleep. They leave me exhausted, too.
Sacrifices are quite hard at times ,mental illness colors these . In relationships we are always running into sacrifices on both sides ,this said I suffer in mental issues and we just have stick in there for one another and it sounds like you both are . hard sometimes and wonderful most of the time and always remember the good and have grace for difficult . Much blessings to you all ! 😊
You are a beautiful, intelligent, articulate young woman. I know that knowledge doesn't help but honestly it sure doesn't hurt to know either. I wish all the best for you and I'm certain many people love you. ❤️
I'm the exact opposite. All I want to do is sleep. I also feel a sense of safety and comfort in the night, and when I'm struggling with my mental health I find myself sleeping the entire day and then staying awake all night. It's a way to completely avoid engaging in my life, the hard things I don't want to face but also the things and people I genuinely love. I find that when I'm struggling I don't want to engage at all, with anything. On my weekends I will literally sleep for the entire day, I sleep any chance I get. I know it makes my depression so much worse because I'm not doing any of the hobbies I like, taking care of any of my responsibilities, or engaging with friends or family....I'm completely checking out of my life.
I completely identify with this. Night feels so safe to me. I feel like during the day that I want to hide out but when night comes, I feel like I can breathe and be creative and do projects in or even outside of my home. But it has really effected my life. I don’t want to sleep because basically it’s like I’ve got from about 5 pm - 10 pm to be myself. But the. I stretch it out to like 2 or 3 am. But then I get up at 7:00 am and who can live on that small amount of sleep? It’s so dumb. 🙈 idk why I’m like this.
I find I get this when I take certain medicine. If I look at Christmas decorations in the shops I will see those at night. Or if I've looked at lots of trainers on Internet I will start seeing all kinds of trainers xx
It's called CEVs. Closed Eye Visuals. I like them myself especially playing around with them. But I do understand what you're saying. I hate going to sleep due to sleep paralysis episodes. Also, the transition to being asleep is more of flipping a switch from full consciousness to full unconsciousness. The subconscious plays a bit of a role of course but when that's kinda more the limbo between the two main states.
I have chronic depression and typically need 10 hours of sleep to feel my normal optimistic self in the morning. However, I also have anxiety and constantly think through the worst case scenario to prepare for it. I flat out can't fall asleep. So I started to trick myself into falling asleep. It works every time and I never know that I fell asleep until I enter my crazy end of the world or alien apocalypse dreams and have to battle or solve something. How I trick myself is by listening to documentaries on playlists that I've created in TH-cam. The key is to be interested in the topic but not too interested that you'll stay awake to learn. I gave a whole playlist on the history of viruses. I have another on global extinction. One on Sumerian history. I even have forensic files and the new detectives. The best for me are lectures from professors. If I can pick a good subject, i turn my phone off and keep TH-cam premium playing all night on super low so only I can hear it. I close my eyes and listen to the lecture, not to sleep but to really listen. I'm out in five minutes without even knowing. When I wake up in the middle of the night, the playlist is still playing and I start listening again. Sleep. The only downfall is picking a playlist that is too good. I have to be careful not to pick medical mysteries too often. I will stay up and listen all night. 😊☮️❤️
This is what I do! I listen to podcasts about sociology, history etc. Stuff I’m super interested in but before I know I’ve dropped off. I sort of know when I’m drifting so sometimes that snaps me back awake but if I do it just right I can also make what I’m listening to become part of my dream and almost control the dream. Without something like that in the background I’m wide awake for hours! X
Thank u so much for discussing this issue. I suffer with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety/Panic Disorder and I can absolutely relate to your thoughts & feelings about sleep. In the last couple years I've gone off prescription sleep medicine & tried to manage more naturally with melatonin & lavender bath. It's a constant struggle, tho, to turn off my racing thoughts & so good to know I'm not the only one. Thanks again & Best Wishes from Vermont ❤
I struggle with the same condition and have good sleep some nights but for the most part it is a battle for me to try to fall asleep. I also have a husband who likes to stay up late and is gone some nights because of work. Sometimes I have a cup of herbal tea and that helps me and praying. I recently gave up caffeine so hopefully that will help over time. And my living situation is very stressful and hard on me since we live with my mother in law who is retired so I don't get the house to myself when I am awake and my husband is at work. Hopefully you understand and this helps. I appreciate all of your supportive videos. 🙂🙏
Lauren, i have read up on your on your work, pain and accomplishments. I had no idea. It seem now that you have a lot going for you, (look out, here it comes) including your unique beauty, with or without hair, with or with out make up. Please accept this compliment. it's just a way for me to be a small part of your day. Norm
Sleeping is something my body and brain needs for rest but i don't I just wanna study learn all day and do contributive things that are good for mankind
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Finally someone is talking about this, I never heard someone feel the same. Thank you.
Yes, thank you, Lauren. I've long had to prioritize sleep for my mental health and need about nine hours. Phases of insomnia snowball into personal madness and increased vulnerability to persecutory auditory hallucinations in social milieu. I like bedtime now as a respite from engaging, and I practice zen-like mind emptying, progressive body parts muscle relaxation, and, alas, I medicate (a cocktail) knowing fully that stopping the benzos part will result in a horrible withdrawal preriod -- rife with anxiety, exacerbated schizoaffective condition, and annoying muscle and nerve tics. I choose this over not sleeping and the resulting psychosis.
I feel the same too!
Yasss. Delusions make me the same way. I also hear things, maybe people next door, sometimes me. I get scared that I will go to sleep before everyone else too. Enlightening
Yes, I struggle with this every night. I desperately need sleep, but I don’t like going to sleep.
Me toooooo ❤
I relate with the "having to get up again in the morning" feeling. I often find myself being pissed in the morning because I wake up again. Thank you for sharing and making me feel like i'm not crazy for feeling this way.
About forty years ago, I began to suffer from depression and anxiety. I was afraid to sleep. I get it. 🙏🌹🌹🌹
Been there. For me my mental health stuff seem to first be prominent at night time, so I began to associate night time with a dreaded time. I somehow manage to teach myself some distraction strategies with my thoughts. To this day, I still use these mental strategies at night, especially if I have something that is of concern
Hey, would love the idea of weighted blanket, but menopause would not make this possible.
weighted blankets rule! The weight of the blanket signals to my body that it’s bedtime and I find it easier to fall asleep. Melatonin is useful too when I’m really wound up. My partner and I having separate blankets has been useful to avoid waking up at night.
Nothing works on me besides meds.
What is your name ?
I had weighted blankets and felt suffocated l. I ended up giving them away to my best friend.
Heather I felt the same way but will give it a try for my daughter
Separate blankets is normal in the nordic countries, my Icelandic wife loves it
I was just diagnosed with schizophrenia, and I never heard someone describe the visions on the inner eyelids. I find it intense and unsettling. Thank you for addressing it.
I get those too! CEVs constantly.
I have paranoid schizophrenia and this happens to me as well. It’s a true TRIP FROM HELL!!! LOL 😂
Welcome! This forum is a place that’s safe to be free with your struggles…lots of good people here! My advice for anyone who’s just been diagnosed is to understand that mood stabilizers and antipsychotics don’t work immediately, BUT if your medications are causing serious side effects, bring that up with your doctor right away. It also really helps to have a trusted advocate (family, friend, or even a therapist) to help you navigate the system and communicate important information to your doctors/treatment team. I know I needed that so much when I was first hospitalized at 17. I’m 51 now so many issues were with the awful side effects of the older antipsychotics as well as my poor resolution of symptoms. My father stepped in to no avail. Quickly he took me out AMA (since was 18) and paid for me to go to an amazing private psych hospital where I stayed for around 5 months. My main point is to have someone you TRUST to be able to question your treatment when you can’t or afraid to (some psychiatrist are dicks and make you feel as if your every thought makes no difference. Simone you trust to check on you without judgment about med compliance, a trustworthy ear and someone you can have fun with,,,,even if that means avoiding the over-stimulation of too many people and of atmosphere. Glad you are here ☺️
@@емілі-п1в yep. A lot in common. My mom was a psych nurse!! She let it go! My symptoms began at 9 and I’m 37 with my first really bad episode 4 years ago!! Beautifully said too. We really need each other. It’s a lonely painful illness. No reason to suffer alone ever!!
I have patterns and colors when i close my eyes to sleep as well. It is maddening. I never heard this as a symptom of schizoaffective disorder, which i have been diagnosed. I thought it was due to eye strain or my severe myopia. I also stay wake nights, because of less visual stimuli, and tend to sleep during the day. i do dread waking up as well, because then i have to repeat certain tedious tasks i have grown to despise. i also abhor repetition. That's why i often abandon everything and accomplish so little. That and the utter lack of motivation that afflicts me. I lack the impetus to even shower, brush my hair or teeth. Without the urging of my sig other i would never bother. It may sound disgusting, but there have been times when i haven't showered for months. The sensation of the water hitting me causes me such discomfort and distress, i want to scream. And i have developed an aversion to any touch. When someone casually touches my arm, i want to saw it off, it literally burns! The sensation lasts for hours, even the cats brushing up against me.
I thought the feeling of not wanting to go to sleep because then it would be morning instantly was very rare and that I was strange, but I'm glad to know that it's common if you have depression.
I admire you so much. My son has schizoaffective disorder. He struggles so much with so many things. Sleep is definitely one. Thank you so much for your videos. They are so informative 😊❤️
I’ll pray for your son. It’s a heartbreaking illness to have but I’d never imagine coping as a mom watching it happen to your baby. Much love and many hugs to you. God bless.
Same here. It's so hard to watch my son struggle so much. I feel so helpless.
I thought this was something no one else experienced. Thank you for talking about this.
I’ve finally realized we all need each other and we need to band together and fight back. We can do this. But you’re never alone. We must keep talking to each other sharing tips and our experiences. This woman is amazing for these videos. She is a blessing. Much love ❤️
I wish there was a switch I could flip to turn off my mind when I lay down at night. For me, it's scary not being able to control my mind and my thoughts. I feel like a prisoner of my own mind. I have schizoaffective bipolar type.
I have schizoaffective bipolar type as well. Every night is a challenge for me as well hun. I feel like a prisoner in my own mind as especially living with both my husband and my mother in law. Life is hard but God is so good and His mercy is amazing! 🙂🙌💕
I'm sorry you feel that way🙁
Thoughts are not your own.
All thoughts are lies all of the time.
Stay out of your head so you can live your life.
meditation / mindfulness might help. it's all about being more aware and developing more comfort just experiencing your awareness of the present moment, more comfort in your mind. it also has evidence showing it improves time to fall asleep as well as quality of sleep. it sure helps me a lot at the least. best wishes
Very relatable, thank you! My issues with sleep are also because of a history of nightmares that started an avoidance of going to sleep. The act of going to bed is very hard for me, once I'm already tired. If I can get ready for bed, before I reach a point of being too tired, I can get ready for bed ok, but otherwise it's a difficult process. Thank you for bringing this topic to light.
I have been always afraid of sleep - for me it feels like having a death every day. The feeling that my consciousness will disapper soon really scares me. Anyone who feels like this about sleep?
Yup! Went on anxiety meds and that has been helping a lot.
Yup!
I was like that when I was younger. It was horrible. Sometimes I'm still reminded of the feeling
Yup! Went on anxiety medication and that has been out a lot. But I’ve stopped. But yeah more and more so that I am realizing that I should be on my anxiety medications!
Thanks for likes and comments. Tonight I’ll lose my consciousness again, but it is what it is :)
YES!!!! THIS!!!! I always felt that no one understood me. Thank you.
I’ve recently been dxed with psychotic depression and although I know it’s not the same as schizophrenia but you’re channel has been immensely helpful for me when I got out of the psych ward.
Thank you for speaking out about this. I’ve been dealing with this for years. But this video helped me identify why I keep doing it… because it’s safe!!!! And then the dreadful feeling as well. I stay on the couch all night sometimes by accidentally falling asleep & not going up to bed because I was just so comfortable and safe late at night when everything is quiet and slow.
I've never liked the feeling of falling asleep. The sensation is supremely uncomfortable. Like losing control.
It's the same reason I won't drink, try drugs, and the reason new medications are such a challenge.
Yeah it's like dieing and dreaming is like being sucked into an alternate reality.
That is why is called “falling a sleep.” It actually feels like you are falling. I use it to like that feeling. I don’t feel that anymore. I feel like I can’t breathe. I don’t feel safe anymore.
ohhh thank you! thank you! I didn't have words or an explainable concept for this until I heard you talk about it. I deal with this same thing every night and didn't quite know what was going on. I don't know that I can do anything about it now but its nice to know I'm not the only one.
Watching this at 5:40am literally forcing myself to stay awake.
I'm so grateful I found your videos. Thank you for your transparency.
Gosh its 5:44am …im so tired, cant sleep, i had a big fear of the dark and sleeping in the dark for years… my meds are unfilled, and it hit me today, i just didnt took anything, im just sad i cant sleep
I have, for my entire life, had to struggle to sleep. My mind would race through thoughts as though I had to absolutely figure everything out right then. I did have some nighttime trauma as a child and it absolutely could have originated in that but what I struggled with was not knowing "why" I was seeing the images I was when I would close my eyes. I can only describe it as dancing or moving colors or hues against the darkness that would start to have a structured shape. I would get a fleeting image of a tree or a truck or a face I couldn't quite make out. I would wonder if these images were supposed to mean something and if so what and who was sending them, etc. Went on for years, in fact still does, but because I have an obsessive need to understand things I did quite a bit of research. Turns out these images, mine anyway, are a common response of the brain and optical functions trying to work as normal (eyeball sees something, sends the input to the brain to decipher the image.) when in fact it can't simply because it's dark. Even though our eyes are closed they're still being told that there is something to see; we are actively looking in the neurological sense. Even though our eyes are closed they're still trying to see or rather we're still trying to use them to see. To understand what I mean close your eyes in a room that has a direct source of light and then move your hand back and forth between your eyes and the light source. You'll see the shadow of your hand. Then turn off the light and do it. Your brain will still be looking for that shadow change So the brain, in its absence of optic input, starts trying to interpret a lack of input in any way it can. Shapes and colors and familiar imagery. Consciously attempting to relax the optic muscles while meditating on my breath has worked wonders. Until I learned this it was mostly stressful to go to sleep. I still have to take medication to sleep to quiet my mind but I'm taking less and finding the whole process more peaceful. I hope this helps anyone that might be reading that experienced anything similar.
Same! Thanks for that insight! Because I’m struggling with the same issues. And now I have somewhat of a better understanding.
Has anyone ever learned that there is a holistic ortho molecular psychological healing from schizophrenia and other mental disorders if they are willing to be humble and learn
Racing thoughts are the worst, and it does really cut into my sleep! Thank you for sharing your insight. I'm always open to trying healthier options.
Wow!
@@yelenarotar2307 It gave me a peace when I found it out, truly. Add to it realizing that specifically working to really relax the optical muscles really works well, especially when just focussing on my breath ala meditation style really helps. Any time I notice that I am thinking of something else I just refocus on my breath and relaxing those eye muscles. It's also physically relieving around the eye sockets in a way that they had never experienced 😍
Television with sound on low works well for me. The sounds, lights and voices on the t.v. work me into a dream state, drowns out my own thoughts. Its almost as though it does start speaking directly to me, it becomes a real part of my reality but by that time im lost half in dream. People have said to me that the feeling for them feels like ghosts and ill admit that it most certainly does but for me its always been a friendly and spiritual phenomenon. I dont know why but i like it when most dont, i guess I feel less alone.
Only video that explains what's happening to me
For as long as I can recall, I’ve fought sleep. Going to sleep can be terrifying for me. It’s not dread about waking up, it’s dread about what will happen when I sleep. I have nightmares due to CPTSD, but also hyper vigilance about what could happen if I “allow” myself to be so vulnerable. It’s a relief that you brought this up. Thank you, Lauren.
I went through hell coming off paxil once. Was awake for 10 days straight. Struggled for about a year to get it under control afterwards. My biggest take away and it sounds silly it’s not overthink sleep. That is to say, when you lie down in bed and you already have that feeling of oh no I’m a little unsettled and I’m not gonna have a good nights sleep: give into it completely, tell yourself “OK tonight Sleep is going to suck but you know I’ll get some thing out of it. I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again. And like the many sailors at sea, mothers with newborns and astronauts in the international space station, I can survive on some crappy sleep for a while.” And then when it’s good be thankful. Sounds trite and basic but it was life-changing for me. Doing your best to make sure your sleep hygiene is good but not going crazy and getting really rigid about it seems to help. It’s a form of surrender.
May I ask what medication did you take when you had that episode?
@@gertaj2263 it was paxil/peroxetine that I was coming off of.
th-cam.com/video/rmHDhAohJlQ/w-d-xo.html
Do dreams impact you worse then normal too? Since i can remember past puberity i couldnt sleep unless i take sleep aids..and it got old FAST! my dreams are SO REAL and when i wake up sometimea i cannot shake the feelings they gave me untill i sleep again.....everything you said was so spot on....ive always hated sleep...when the moon comes out is my safe time as well, i need to go to the dr asap i think
Thanks!
I completely understand as my mind races and won't let me rest either. Bless you for sharing your experiences. Have a lovely evening. 🌹
I have GAD PTSD and bipolar. Sleep has always been a challenge. I remember as a little girl just laying awake at night trying to avoid nightmares or because I genuinely couldn't sleep. Also during my manic episodes I couldn't sleep at all.
I take a sleeping pill now but I hate having to do it. I'm not sure I get the correct kind of sleep as I feel sluggish until about noon. Its better than laying awake at night though. Love your content, thank you for sharing your experiences.
I struggle with this as well! It’s a feeling that’s been so hard to describe but you did it perfectly. I was doing okay for a while but over the last couple weeks I’ve had that uneasy feeling about going to sleep again. My dreams are so wild and exhausting sometimes and I just don’t feel like dealing with it 😭
Do you listen to anything when you sleep? I like to turn on something I've listened to over and over again so I can half-listen to it and go to sleep with some background noise.
There are times where I'm scared of going to bed because I know I won't be able to get up and do things when I wake up. And the longer I put it off the worse it gets.
During those times I'll usually be hypomanic (or something like it) and I'll use putting off sleep as a subconscious way of chasing the mania.
This really couldn't have come at a better time. I'm having so much trouble sleeping, even with medication. My paranoia kicks in full gear, which adds to my anxiety and likelihood of panic attacks. Then delusions, then hallucinations, etc. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
You just described my life and sleep 100% to the T. Now I would love to see what you have found to help. Nothing I find helps. Thank you for sharing I thought it was just me.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
My auditory hallucinations are worst before bed
Wow, I didn’t know this was a thing. I thought maybe everyone could possibly struggle with this. When I read the title, I just had to watch lol. I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do have both BP1 and BPD. In my case, I struggle with both showering (especially alone) and sleeping. When it comes to showing, I am always terrified because when I blink or close my eyes, I see images of demons and more recently, the figure from ‘The Nun’. The best thing I could do is to blast music in the shower to drain my thoughts.
As for sleeping, I think we’re similar is some ways. I feel like I’m wasting time by sleeping. I think I could get more accomplished when I’m awake. *Trigger warning ⚠️ * when it comes to the process of trying to sleep I think that’s hard for me. For one, when I take sleep meds I feel like I’m being put to death. It’s a very disturbing feeling. I also feel extremely heavy and lethargic in the am.
@Pablo Moreno Cordón that was very nice of you.
You’re the most relatable person I’ve seen here. Thank you so much for discussing something I go through everyday. Ever since I was younger I would go through this and I had no idea how to put it to words but you did. Thank you!
I've been telling my family about this, that I have the scary images behind my eyes when I try to go to sleep and it keeps me awake, and no one else does that not my friends or family. I've recently had a stay in the psych ward for the first time and been diagnosed with major depression. the abilify they put me on has made it a bit worse but I am going to talk about it at my appointment soon anyway its so nice to see that this is a thing that other people do because it was starting to freak me out no one else I knew had it happen lol
Omgosh this helps me so much because I often have been curious why my partner doesn't want to go to sleep yet he also needs so much sleep. I want to be supportive and can recall a couple times when my partner definitely was waiting for me to go to bed together, sadly a couple times I told him to go to bed without me, I definitely want to be more supportive in the future understanding that he may be having anxiety.
Don't fight the laying down, get up for a few, do something, then try again, but don't toss for hours, I know the feeling
I used to take Remeron to put me to sleep. It was nice because it was not an antipsychotic but a depression pill. I generally got good sleep with it. Now I sleep well on my own. I think having a comfy bed, the right temperature and a weighted blanket helps as well.
Remeron causes me too much sleepiness but it does work
Having a physically demanding job (arborist and excavator) helps with sleep. Being physically tired helps so much and I think it helps me deal with the mental exhaustion as well.
I feel this way. The weighted blanket does help. I fight sleep every night, even with sleep meds. It's so hard.
I have problems sleeping due to PTSD. I used to see scenes of the abuse whenever I closed my eyes. I would get up, write it down in a notebook and then I could sleep.
I don't see those scenes of abuse anymore but I am still scared to fall asleep because I feel very vulnerable when I am asleep. Sleeping with a safe person (my partner) helps. He always goes to sleep before me. When I am alone having my cat sleeping with me helps. I want to try a weighted blanket soon.
Most sleeping meds don't work for me but a couple have helped.
Thank you for saying a lot of the things I have been going through and wondered if I was the only one. The hard things. Its amazing to be heard
I hate going to sleep because of severe nightmares.
💛
Interesting you should put this video out now. I have been ruminating for the last 2-3 weeks about my company's work schedule. I keep trying to explain to them that my sleep is very important if they want me to come in with any kind of cognition. Seasonal affective disorder explains things pretty well when you have to follow your circadian rhythm. Now that the daylight savings time has ended and we set our clocks back an hour it's not so much of an issue. But when daylight savings time comes back around oh, it will be an issue again.
Thank you for this video Lauren❣️
I’ve never realized I wasn’t the only one that feels EXACTLY as you explained in this video❣️
I don’t have an answer of course and I’m sad thst you and likely other people too now go thru this really hard and complicated exhausting triggering struggle.
But I hope someday we can find a solution for all of us.♥️
you are helping so many people. it's amazing. thank you.
Wanting to stay awake at night because of how much more peaceful and safe it was during depression, is extremely relatable. I would pull all nighters all the time in high school because I just didn't want to go to sleep and give up that time to feel calm.
Also, I don't have a psychotic disorder but I do have PTSD from using psychedelics too much and losing touch Sometimes I'll start dreaming before I've fully fallen asleep and I'll kind of freak out thinking that I'm hallucinating. It can make going to sleep extremely difficult.
All you describe is all I've struggled with all my life. Weighted blanket is essential. The cons i have with it is I open mouth breath during sleep and always somehow end up on my back. The combination of these factors result in sleep paralysis and night terrors and the weight seems to keep me locked in this cycle of terror and hallucinations. And nighttime usually heightens my paranoia and hallucinations on its own so I'm stuck in this cycle.
First, thank you for your channel. What a wonderful service and wonderful job you do! I do not have a mental illness, and I am not a psychiatrist, but I've certainly had my share of sleepless nights, so I thought I would share something that seems to work well for me when I'm trying to 'slow down' and get some sleep. I listen to a podcast by Dr. Andrew Huberman. I love this guy and find his podcast fascinating. However, it's a bit over my head while being very interesting at the same time and a complete departure of my 'every day life' - what I think about such as the news and my work. I used to listen to the news on TV at night, but it's so worrisome, so that didn't really work well. Dr. Huberman's podcast seems to be just the right amount of fascinating and semi-dull information - only in that it is so scientific. All I can say is I love listening to it - and it also seems to put me to sleep! In particular, his podcast on "Why We Dream" is a favorite of mine. Just enough to make me mull over his brillance and the science - so much so that I nod off rather quickly! Just a suggestion to try out yourself and push away bad thoughts... p.s., I also turn my phone over so that the light doesn't shine in my eyes:) Good luck and thanks again for your efforts here! Best
Thanks for this
Thank you for always giving good advice I have shizoaffective and I’m still learning my disorder I really appreciate you
My mind and body is so amped up from being hypervigilant I was perscribed heavy sedatives to help me sleep but when I have a depressive episode I find sleep as an escape mechanism and sometimes wish never to wake up again. Other times even after taking medication on a good day it is still troublesome for me to sleep due to the constant racing thoughts and the cycle goes on.
I always feel so safe at night time and can totally relate to what you said! Trying to fall asleep is like torture some nights or most nights. Thank you for bringing attention to this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone
Totally relate but didn’t know it until you said in video! I feel like night time is more peaceful and involves less interruptions that could trigger irritableness and yes that feeling of I don’t want it to end.
This is highly relatable. I like sleeping, but it's so much easier for me to do it during the day than at night. The not wanting to face the next day, the mind racing and running away into different scenarios and tangents. All of that. 100% relatable.
Sleep meds have been a life saver for me.
Beautiful combination of colors
You described my relationship with sleep perfectly. Totally resonate with you. I also LOVE my weighted blanket and for me (diagnosed depression and anxiety) I find white noise or a podcast or something helps to distract from racing thoughts etc. X
Oh my goodness! You give voice to so many of our symptoms! For me, I’ve often felt like some of my hallucinations are behind my eyelids! Such a great way to describe it. My delusions also increase…I am afraid to sleep because someone is watching me sleep and putting thoughts into my head or reading my thoughts more easily when I fall asleep.
The best thing that helps me is listening to a thunderstorm or waves or whatever sounds (not music) soothe you. For some reason my brain focuses more on that calming sound and helps stop me from ruminating or having as much interrupted sleep. It’s almost like when my other senses are not involved as much my mind focuses more on the calm auditory stimuli rather than my paranoia and visual types of hallucinations you mention. I find it easier and safer to sleep more soundly and without so much fear.
There are great TH-cam “videos” that have a black screen and many hours of these soothing sounds.
THANK YOU so much for addressing this issue in particular! It’s so good to know that I’m not alone in experiencing them. 🥰
One of the things that helps me, although I don't always do it, is a nightly ritual. Taking a hot epson salt bath, putting on my favorite pjs, a super cozy bed and going to bed every night at the same time all contribute to a good nights sleep. Just like with little ones, I seem to need the process of unwinding and routine. Thank you for sharing this, I thought I was the only one!! xo
This was so helpful. Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone
I have had poor sleep for many years. I also have slightly heightened blood pressure, and I find taking propranolol for my blood pressure at night, also improves sleep somewhat. Thanks for the vlog!
Oh my god, I feel this so much!! DAMN.
What I've found to help most with this is listening to an audio book when I go to sleep. Preferably one I've heard before so it's ok if I fall asleep and miss some. I usually let the book play for around three to five hours. This makes it so that I fall asleep easier and also when I inevitably wake up through the night my mind goes "Oh, we're at this part of the book" and I fall back asleep.
This helps me a lot because I get a lot of racing thoughts when I go to bed that keep me up and at times will even agitate me to the point where my pulse is really racing, I'm practically rotating in bed and sleep is impossible. This combined with a weighted blanket and a sleep mask is really what helps me go to sleep and stay asleep.
Thank u for this. I've been debating downloading Audible for b4 bedtime. I think I'll try it after your comment. Best Wishes from Vermont 😊
@@JulHud420 Just make sure you use the sleep timer and/or turn internet off when you sleep. Because audible has recently started automatically playing a "recommended listen" at the end of a book and that has confused me quite a few times :) easy fix though as long as you're aware of it.
Your thoughts and the comments are really life affirming. Struggling with sleep right now which can make you feel so alone, chastising yourself for what may be out of your control. We are not alone. Sleep science is so interesting. Love to you all.
Your videos are really interesting. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for all your videos
I appreciate your podcasts.
Thank you so much for the insight.
I have never heard anyone talk about this subject. When my symptoms were really bad, I would close my eyes and just see thousands of insects crawling very fast. " behind my eyelids " as you said. It's horrible and people don't understand what we are talking about,which is also horrible!😐thank for addressing this issue.
Thank you for sharing your story
Muchas gracias
Thank you for helping me realize why I dread falling asleep and my relationship with sleep. I’m so grateful for you and everyone who helped create this video 🙏🏾
I have pretty severe anxiety, and recurrent insomnia and 100% relate to waiting for my partner to go to sleep/forcing him to go to bed early with me because it feels safe and comfortable. In the past I have done CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) and a couple takeaways that I found helpful is that often insomnia stems from performance anxiety around being able to sleep. If we remove the pressure to get a good sleep or set up the perfect sleep environment and stop catastrophizing about what will happen if we have a bad sleep - it can help. This isn't to say that sleep hygiene isn't important but I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have this perfect bedtime "ritual" and if anything gets thrown out of wack it sets off sleepless nights. Also - I have learned through CBT-I that quality sleep is way more important than quantity. I know not everyone will benefit from CBT-I and the process of examining the thought patterns around sleep, but for some it can be super helpful and it can be a more effective long-term approach than medications. Although I still have sleepless nights here and there, my bouts of full-blown insomnia are fewer and far between since my treatment and I have not touched sleep medications in almost 2 years.
Omg you have explained this so so perfectly i have never been able to get it and whe ni say i just dont really like sleeping its always seen as a sign of my illness when actaully its a perfectly rational response to my experience of what sleep has meant in my life. When i say i dont want to sleep it is so different to i dont need sleep (which is obv a manic symptom but i think its good to differentiate those!
This is me!!! Something I have found helpful is putting on an episode or two of an old sitcom while I am falling asleep. It is familiar and lighthearted and keeps my mind engaged enough to distract me from other thoughts but isn't interesting enough to keep me awake. I usually play the episode on my phone and flip it over so the screen is facing down and the light won't keep me awake. It also is a good gauge for me to see how long it is taking me to fall asleep.
Omg finally
I can relate and I'm not even diagnosed.
I always see white patterns when I close my eyes and then the dreaming while awake begins
I know that alcohol would only exacerbate the problem for me. I find that since getting sober, yes I do stay up later, but the overall quality of the little sleep I do manage to get is much better. I have built a routine around bedtime. I usually write for a half hour, which lets me empty of any nervous energy I may have accumulated over the day. Then I spend an hour and a half doing something just to relax. About a half hour before going to bed I light an essence stick and make something warm to drink. Over time it became a trained response that signals my brain to start gearing down for sleep. Whenever I stray from it I just can't sleep no matter what now, though. But when I keep to it, even if I get 5 hours of sleep it will be more or less uninterrupted. Which for me is the win. The things I see can get intense, especially things that have happened and my mind is replaying back for me. Even on a good night, I can't help but wake up 3 or 4 times. I have yet to find anything that helps overcome that as yet.
What bothers me about sleep? Sometimes my stressors manifest in my dreams, like people knocking down my door or people coming at me with sharp objects, or fire. I like the thought of sleep as "getting away" but I think my meds really influence my sleep. They leave me exhausted, too.
Sacrifices are quite hard at times ,mental illness colors these .
In relationships we are always running into sacrifices on both sides ,this said I suffer in mental issues and we just have stick in there for one another and it sounds like you both are .
hard sometimes and wonderful most of the time and always remember the good and have grace for difficult .
Much blessings to you all ! 😊
So glad it's not just me!
You are a beautiful, intelligent, articulate young woman. I know that knowledge doesn't help but honestly it sure doesn't hurt to know either. I wish all the best for you and I'm certain many people love you. ❤️
I relate SO MUCH!!! Sleeping + showering are the worst experiences for me... Thank you for talking about this- now I am less afraid, seriously. 🥺
Night time being compared to a safe space was very relatable for me
You’re an angel! Thank you, you are improving so many lives
Thankyou for sharing!
I'm the exact opposite. All I want to do is sleep. I also feel a sense of safety and comfort in the night, and when I'm struggling with my mental health I find myself sleeping the entire day and then staying awake all night. It's a way to completely avoid engaging in my life, the hard things I don't want to face but also the things and people I genuinely love. I find that when I'm struggling I don't want to engage at all, with anything. On my weekends I will literally sleep for the entire day, I sleep any chance I get. I know it makes my depression so much worse because I'm not doing any of the hobbies I like, taking care of any of my responsibilities, or engaging with friends or family....I'm completely checking out of my life.
Love how you're able to laugh still! I've got total sense of humour failure.
I completely identify with this. Night feels so safe to me. I feel like during the day that I want to hide out but when night comes, I feel like I can breathe and be creative and do projects in or even outside of my home. But it has really effected my life. I don’t want to sleep because basically it’s like I’ve got from about 5 pm - 10 pm to be myself. But the. I stretch it out to like 2 or 3 am. But then I get up at 7:00 am and who can live on that small amount of sleep? It’s so dumb. 🙈 idk why I’m like this.
I find I get this when I take certain medicine. If I look at Christmas decorations in the shops I will see those at night. Or if I've looked at lots of trainers on Internet I will start seeing all kinds of trainers xx
I always hear the voices louder and more frequently when I go to bed. Ashwagandha helped a lot with falling asleep and managing the stress it causes.
It's called CEVs. Closed Eye Visuals. I like them myself especially playing around with them. But I do understand what you're saying.
I hate going to sleep due to sleep paralysis episodes.
Also, the transition to being asleep is more of flipping a switch from full consciousness to full unconsciousness. The subconscious plays a bit of a role of course but when that's kinda more the limbo between the two main states.
I have chronic depression and typically need 10 hours of sleep to feel my normal optimistic self in the morning. However, I also have anxiety and constantly think through the worst case scenario to prepare for it. I flat out can't fall asleep. So I started to trick myself into falling asleep. It works every time and I never know that I fell asleep until I enter my crazy end of the world or alien apocalypse dreams and have to battle or solve something. How I trick myself is by listening to documentaries on playlists that I've created in TH-cam. The key is to be interested in the topic but not too interested that you'll stay awake to learn. I gave a whole playlist on the history of viruses. I have another on global extinction. One on Sumerian history. I even have forensic files and the new detectives. The best for me are lectures from professors. If I can pick a good subject, i turn my phone off and keep TH-cam premium playing all night on super low so only I can hear it. I close my eyes and listen to the lecture, not to sleep but to really listen. I'm out in five minutes without even knowing. When I wake up in the middle of the night, the playlist is still playing and I start listening again. Sleep. The only downfall is picking a playlist that is too good. I have to be careful not to pick medical mysteries too often. I will stay up and listen all night. 😊☮️❤️
This is what I do! I listen to podcasts about sociology, history etc. Stuff I’m super interested in but before I know I’ve dropped off. I sort of know when I’m drifting so sometimes that snaps me back awake but if I do it just right I can also make what I’m listening to become part of my dream and almost control the dream. Without something like that in the background I’m wide awake for hours! X
One of the books I listened to on audible was by a man who did autopsies! My husband thinks I’m strange I think lol
Thank u so much for discussing this issue. I suffer with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety/Panic Disorder and I can absolutely relate to your thoughts & feelings about sleep. In the last couple years I've gone off prescription sleep medicine & tried to manage more naturally with melatonin & lavender bath. It's a constant struggle, tho, to turn off my racing thoughts & so good to know I'm not the only one. Thanks again & Best Wishes from Vermont ❤
I struggle with the same condition and have good sleep some nights but for the most part it is a battle for me to try to fall asleep. I also have a husband who likes to stay up late and is gone some nights because of work. Sometimes I have a cup of herbal tea and that helps me and praying. I recently gave up caffeine so hopefully that will help over time. And my living situation is very stressful and hard on me since we live with my mother in law who is retired so I don't get the house to myself when I am awake and my husband is at work. Hopefully you understand and this helps. I appreciate all of your supportive videos. 🙂🙏
Yes all true.
Thank you so much for all the work you do!
Lauren, i have read up on your on your work, pain and accomplishments. I had no idea. It seem now that you have a lot going for you, (look out, here it comes) including your unique beauty, with or without hair, with or with out make up. Please accept this compliment. it's just a way for me to be a small part of your day. Norm
Sleeping is something my body and brain needs for rest but i don't
I just wanna study learn all day and do contributive things that are good for mankind