Being Assertive & failing at it/being Passive Aggressive instead
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2024
- What the title says!
When I say I feel stronger in the clip, I mean I feel stronger within myself, which is great, but still not around others. I'll get there!!
Thanks for all the support!
I hope you’ve found strength in yourself brother, I also feel this way at times and I appreciate your transparency.
I was at your talk today at Reading University. I discovered your story about a year ago after watching your struggle with sex video. I deal with OCD, social anxiety and mild depression. I'm also gay😂. I was raped when I was 11.
I'm so glad I got to see you today and hear your story in person. I'm so grateful that you and Neil choose to and continue to share your story after all this time. And I do wish you would post more often here; I love watching these ❤
Dear Jonny.....you ARE braver than you experience. Been there myself. First of all, you must never compare yourself to anyone. You are very precious for yourself and to everyone Elsevier. All of your stories are important...Give yourself a compliment Just Every day To bad i live in Holland and a lot of years onder 😙
Your not alone. Takes practice. Wish you achieve your assertive skill
Jonny, thank you so much for everything you share on the youtube. You are really brave to talk about things you struggle with. I've been watching your videos for a few years now and I remember once I came across one of your interviews where you talked about mental health and your problems and how you cope with that. While watching that I was thinking how brave you are to expose yourself like that publicly and how well you express yourself. And I liked that you were so polite but on the other hand you also showed confidence.
Ofcourse I don't know your whole story, but I think that living in New York is a really big achievement and also everything you've done so far for promoting mental health. It means you are a great person. I admire you and your videos make me feel not alone.
If you always feel inferior and unworthy it's only natural to not be assertive. Work on your self-acceptance and self-compassion Jonny and meditate daily. 10 mins can change everything. Integrate it into your life, take a moment a few times throughout your day to focus on your breath,your posture and notice how you are feeling. We are not what we do, what we say or even what we think. Our essence is something beyond all of this. Stay mindful
What you are doing for the mental cause is massive Jonny. You do not realise it. Thank you so much. With my illness I try and keep things as simple and stress free as possible and avoid getting overtired as I know like every human being I do not function at my best when I am tired. I really think it is amazing what you are able to do, I know I would not be able to cope with the amount and type of work you take on as well as all the travelling involved. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, I know that is hard to take that on board as I am the same. When I was a child I hardly spoke in public and all my teachers said I should speak up more and have confidence in my own abilities. But sometimes you do not have to be the loudest, silence can say much more sometimes. I will be 43 next month and have now only started feeling comfortable about saying no to people, although I usefully have to give a full explanation for me saying no! It is necessary sometimes and other people really don’t mind that much. Take care 😀
I’m so annoyed I’m not in nyc this week. I would love to hear you speak and to shake your hand. You’ve helped me in ways you couldn’t know. Keep up the amazing work you are doing. You are changing lives
Yes, he is amazing. He has helped me massively too and is my inspiration for all the work I now do around mental health
I miss your videos
Maybe its the pills making us numb? For those of us who have the luck to be different in the bad way... mentally ill and handicapped to achieve goals... you are or you aren't ill that is the question.
It's so good to hear from you again! I also struggle with being assertive but I also am working on it and getting slowly better! Try starting off with the small things that don't really matter and work your way up! I can't wait for your book to come out,!! How exciting!! Lots of love and big hugs xxx
Hi Jonny I can totally relate to everything that you talk about because I suffer from schizophrenia and struggle with being assertive and had the Truman delusion and have been suicidal before so you're not alone and I think you're very brave it takes courage to talk about being schizophrenic and the depression anxiety n paranoia that comes with it you should check out a psychiatrist called Abram Hoffer who was curing schizophrenics in the 1950s with high doses of Niacin vitamin B3 or check out orthomolecular.org it has helped me and given me hope I'm also into mindfulness aswell which helps me a lot all I'll say is keep going and keep believing in yourself you'll get there and thanks for breaking the stigma of mental illness kind wishes Brian.
You are not alone Jonny. In fact you are a reference/beacon for lots of people. Trying being assertive, confident, sure all the time is extremely difficult and, at least in my experience, not a good goal. Do not be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great job, and you are an inspiration for me and for other people. Best regards
Thank you for being so raw and honest, I have struggled with assertiveness and standing up for myself but professionally I feel I’m getting there slowly (I’m training to be a mental health nurse which needs that quality at times!) in my personal life though I still struggle with it and also get passive aggressive as a way of coping, but like everything it’s a work in progress and At least I’m aware of it
I’ve noticed in this video you put yourself down a lot like saying ‘I’m talking too much’ etc and I think this is something I’ve always done as well but recently have tried to catch myself before saying things to myself or out loud to someone, maybe try that as a first step to gaining more self esteem and confidence and then a bit more assertiveness may follow. What I’ve thought is that there are going to be plenty of people in the world ready to put you down for one reason or another, i don’t want be also against myself. I feel like it has helped me a bit.
And like other comments have said, just by making these videos you are helping people and shining a spotlight on the struggles you face.
Stay strong and keep taking each day as it comes :)
Not this video in particular, but just in general; you’re so brave. Thank you being you, and thank you for your videos. Good luck in New York, hope you are having a good time.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You say that you are ambitious but don’t forget that you have already achieved far more than most people do in their lifetime. Think how far you have come over the last year, and of course over the last 10 years. I fully understand your point about being more assertive as I feel that some people ignore what I say at times which can push me to become confrontational. It’s frustrating but don’t try too hard to change because you are amazing as you are. Some people, possibly with their own insecurities will force you to choose between confrontation or just letting it go. Sometimes it’s necessary to choose confrontation however alien that may be to you. Look after yourself :)
I don't know what to say, I just wish I could give you a big HUG and cry with you. Please stop beating upon yourself, society beats up on us enough as it is.
Lovely perspective. Constructive criticism: I notice you say, " I can't" quite a bit in your videos. Perhaps try replacing it with more positive self-talk? Like, "How can I?" *hugs* from USA-Washington, DC
You've learnt loads of things ....learn to be confidence...you can do it... you deserve the best... be your best... 😊 just do it anyway...
It may appear that others can handle their emotions better, but they are maybe just better at hiding what they don't want people to see. You are very benevolent to share your experiences and that in itself is assertive. Take care.
you're definitely not alone in this particular struggle - hope feathers are smoothed and you went on to enjoy your work trip in NY
if you have an agressive speech you end up hurting feelings. you need to be smooth. Being passive it wont help either cause you end up bareing all the stuff. you need to say with easy what you really feel about the situation without putting the blame on others. if you can record this video you should be able to use assertvity.
Welcome to New York, Jonny! I hope you enjoy your time here. Will you do a meetup while you’re here?
Have you tried taking an assertiveness training course?
you're doing your best j, keep taking the little steps! ! xx
I remember one time in one of your videos you told us to breath the sky,i'm still doing it sometime times when my thoughts aren't too strong and i remember things that matter!
Appreciate seeing this video from you mate! I understand these difficulties with assertiveness and the low self worth that affects that. Have you heard of the DBT skill called DEARMAN? I would really recommend searching it up as it is steps to ask for what you need even when you're feeling emotions. You are trying, and that is so valuable. Building yourself up to believe your needs deserve to be met and you can find that balance in yourself.
Your definitely not alone JB, you have great insight and that's half of the battle. Like me you over think and are too hard on yourself. Obviously there's a balance but don't feel guilty for putting your best interests first. Your on a journey of self discovery, be patient. 😉
I'm the same, I'm the same
I'm trying to change
That original lifeline
I am the same, I'm the same
I'm trying to change
Original lifeline
I am the same, I'm the same
I'm trying to change
That original lifeline
I am the same, I'm the same
I'm trying to change
Sorry I meant older 😉. Otherwise i would like to grab you out of there and have a long walk outside. Deens lovely. ...Hugzz from Hans
look up Owen Benjamin / so funny / need to refill your hart. Just do your best
Hi Jonny 😀
How long in NYC? I subscribe to your channel so while you’re here, let me take you to lunch, bro!
It sounds like your subscribed to your own narrative; a victim narrative. I recommend thinking more openly and laterally - you’re not a victim, you’re a MAN. Be strong.