Hello! Sorry I haven't been able to do the captions as of yet. I only filmed this yesterday and unexpectedly with my Grandad today. I will do them when I can. X
Hello it is true that it is very difficult to become a leader on the bible because all amount of violence that exists around this subject. But I believe that in the bible there are answers for all people, for rich, for poor, for communists, metaphysicians , apathetic, and even satanists and anti-christians. If you want some advice about the bible I would like to be able to help you, I almost finished reading the whole bible. I read it from my 13 years ago more than 20 years ago and I can tell you what subjects respond to the determined people like the ones I just mentioned. I hope you continue to read the bible and I would like to comment with you. Greetings from Mx.
Beckie Jane Brown it is awesome that you have come back to looking at the King of kings! Don't be ashamed about your faith! God will always be for you! Well done!! Haha!- we have the same bibles 👌
I'm Muslim and I'm not sure if the Bible says this also, but there's a verse in the Quran that says that God does not burden a soul beyond it can handle, and that if a believer comes to Him walking, He will come to them running; I'm really happy for you for going on this journey, hopefully wherever you end up is what's best for you♥️
I'm an atheist, But thank you for talking about your religion and being nice about it, As long as you are a good person and don't hate anyone because of your beliefes, You do you
I'll go out and say that I don't agree with religion, but if it makes one happy and seems to be a positive influence on your life, that's all that matters. Don't let people try and bring you down. If it works for you, run with it.
I'm non religious, but happy to hear an update on your exploration of faith! It's an interesting topic and I thought you did a great job expressing your place :)
This video is very important to me. I've been struggling with my mental and physical health for years, and since college I stopped going to church. Its been very hard for me to go back and I am also lost and angry. This video has put a lot of thing into perspective for me and has gotten me to think back. Thank you
personally, I'm an atheist, but I'm so glad you're talking about religion because it means something to you, and that's what's important. it's important that what you do makes you feel good. this is your channel, after all
I am atheist and I really liked the video. It is not about religion, it is about reconnecting with something of your past, which I can really relate to and understand your confusion.
"This doesn't have to please other people, it's about me." This sentence keeps banging constantly in my head, especially about my religion. I have had so many people on the internet hate on my belief and it just hurts me. Honestly speaking, I'm terrified about telling people about it. Thank you Beckie. This video -even though I'm not a christian- really helped me. It really helped me understand that no one should be able to bring me away from it. In the past three years, I have abandoned my religiosity and I avoided it as much as I could. However after watching this video I feel so peaceful about it. I want to turn back. And after telling a few prayers, I already feel very secure, thank you so much for giving me a starting point. You really are truly an angel.
Hi Rebecca, my name is Lana and I'm a Christian myself. I've been watching your videos for about 2-3 years now and this particular one has made me so so happy. I struggled with depression, anxiety and panic attacks through my whole childhood and teen years. So I guess I can partly relate to what you're sharing about mental health. I came to know God through one amazing person who not only taught me about the Bible but also just showed how much God loved me. Jesus literally has changed my life. I experienced this supernatural peace and comfort, nothing around me changed but I started having joy in my heart. I know for sure that God is able to transform any person because I'm one of those people. Just letting you know that I've been praying for you for about a year now even though we've never met in person. God can perform miracles. Love you, Lana.
Why don't you stop comparing yourself to others or what society saids is "normal" for you to do at your age. Life is a whole lot less lonely when you stop trying to be what society wants you to be. When we grow up society tells you what is the right age to get married, when to have a full time job, to have kids.. But honestly, how many people in their 20s or even 30s have life all figured out. And even the people that have that "full" life society saids we all should want. How many of them are happy? lots of them are stressed out trying to balance everything and struggle to find time for themselves.
This comes with time and not everyone gets there. And even if you go against what you're "supposed to" do, that doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want what other people have.
I don't believe in a god and believe sometimes religion can split societies and cause a lot of unnecessary problems in our world- but I will never judge others for what they believe
I put up walls around myself too, blocking out faith and religion. I had a youth pastor who told me once that he thought people with mental illness were possessed. I was diagnosed with bi-polar at the time and was extremely traumatized by his words. I began having nightmares about hell for weeks. I began to question my faith and decided to walk away from Christianity at that point. I studied and embraced other faiths and beliefs. It is only recently that i have come to terms with Christianity after being so angry toward it for so many years. I finally realized that it wasn't the faith that caused my pain, it was the person. But i have learned to let go and move forward. Anyway, sorry for making this so long, but i wanted to share my story with you. I understand how you feel in coming terms with your faith and beliefs after a period of remission (i guess that's the right word). Things will work themselves out in time. ✌❤☺
Sorry to hear about your terrible experiences - some Christians can have badly misunderstood this topic.. I was also disappointed with Christians and put my faith on hold for some years because of that. It's definitely important to understand God is not the same as Christians, because people always make mistakes and can disappoint you in different ways. But God is good! All the best, may God bless and guide you on your journey!
I just stumbled upon this video and it made me so so happy. I've been praying for you for ages. Don't be afraid to explore. Just as you said, this is between you and God. Sending you endless love!!
I am a Christian and am very proud of your declaration. Know that you are always in my prayers and sending much love from Tennessee. One of the hardest things to do in today's society is talk about your beliefs in this manor. Be they not politically correct or accepted you just did what the Bible tells us to do. Romans 10:09-10.
Beckie, I've been following you on here for a while now. And I've always wanted to just sit and talk with you. Hearing you talk about your faith is so beautiful. Hard times will come, but Jesus Christ is still with you. He is molding your heart once again, and will continue if you let Him. Praying for you.
This was really reassuring and encouraging for me to watch. Thanks so much for making this, and I wish you all the luck with your personal faith journey ❤️
I'm not (super) religious myself but when I see people who are really passionate about their beliefs - like you are now - and really feel 'it' I almost feel envious. It must be a really pleasant, calming, comforting feeling to know that there's always Someone to talk to, who will look after you during your highs and lows. I do not agree with all parts of religion but just the fact how some people can live with this calmth and acceptance about life and the course it will take is amazing.
TH-cam's layout has suddenly changed for me all of a sudden, and on the subject of changes, it's surprising, if not most heartening to see that you're examining your faith perspective again, and it's encouraging for me in my faith walk to see someone I respect, reconsidering faith. And thank you for welcoming your audience into what was such a strong element of your childhood, and is clearly a personal subject. It has surely, as you've previously explained, shaped your life, behaviours, morals, decisions, language usage, and character. If I think back to my own childhood, the Christian/Jewish/Godly stories within Scripture, they formulated my perspective on life, relationships, what is and isn't acceptable in the eyes of a loving but just Creator. E.g The story of the Exodus (my own perspective after reflection) that God rescued the lowest and outcast in Egyptian society, the Hebrew Slaves, and chose those, the poorest and hated, to be His people. However there are also difficult stories in Scripture, for me, some things that don't add up. But the teachings Jesus had in his ministry as in the Gospels, they to me are pure gold and they give me life. They are to me a fountain of living water. I believe in miracles, acts of an all powerful loving creator, but we mess things up ourselves, and sometimes perservance through trials can be easier than having my heavenly father rescue me, that's the mindset Christ had, so maybe his followes can too. I don't think all the comments on all the videos on TH-cam are enough for me to talk on the subject of faith and the Bible. You will have surely have had a valid reason to question or walk away from church-life or specifically Christian culture, your brothers and sisters in the faith, and yes, and although I haven't watched your videos in a few months, I hope that when Christmas comes around this year, you're able to join like minded people in a celebration of 'good' if you choose to, and celebrate the man who brought 'Joy to the World' 'forgiveness of sins' or if not that you enjoy coming to terms with the past, and useful things faith has given you. Even if there can be socially negative things. (But clearly being a Christian is more than Christmas ofc!) Also this comment is more my thoughts, and I used too much of my own thoughts, so here's some words of Jesus, that make me realize he truly is God's Son, as he *lived* these words out himself. They are from the Youth Bible translation (I think) the NCV:- (Luke 6:27-36) But I say to you who are listening, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who are cruel to you. If anyone slaps you on one cheek, offer him the other cheek, too. If someone takes your coat, do not stop him from taking your shirt. Give to everyone who asks you, and when someone takes something that is yours, don’t ask for it back. *Do to others what you would want them to do to you.* If you love only the people who love you, what praise should you get? Even sinners love the people who love them. If you do good only to those who do good to you, what praise should you get? Even sinners do that! If you lend things to people, always hoping to get something back, what praise should you get? Even sinners lend to other sinners so that they can get back the same amount! But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without hoping to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward, and *you will be children of the Most High God,* because he is kind even to people who are ungrateful and full of sin. *Show mercy, just as your Father shows mercy.* It would be a fulfilled goal to have an open discussion of faith, religion, mental health, sci-fi and a lot more with you. But I'm happy to wait until heaven for that! lol. Have a great day Beckie.
Hi Beckie! I'm a Wiccan and I totally get what you mean about mental health barricading you in away from your faith. I've struggled on and off for the last six or seven years with anxiety and depression. I'm currently 23 and I'm in a state of "off" which means my relationship with the God and Goddess is a positive one. When I'm having a bad period of mental health I have noticed that my interest in my faith dwindles, so I'm glad that I'm not the only one who experiences this. Glad you are rediscovering your faith, Beckie! ❤️
"This doesn't have to please other people..." is exactly right Rebecca!! Well done you for having the courage to go back and re-explore- I found myself in a similar position back in November after a bought of mental health issues. It isn't easy, but you are so strong for trying! There is no harm or no shame in being you. People often don't want to hear about Christianity, so I'm really thankful that you're talking about it openly. So what if people walk away? If they care about you, the WHOLE you, and love and respect you, they'll stick around no matter what you do/believe. The majority of the comments I've seen have been very accepting, which is lovely!! :D I will pray for you to continue and to help other people see it's okay to come back :)
for year since my first psychosis at age 16 when i escaped from the mental institution to run to an abbey by asking for priests to take me in. at age 26 now being a schizophrenic i till have delusions of it and searching and hoping to believe but religion just doesnt come to me. its hard these times with science and the world we live in. i do wear a cross on my neclace hoping that maybe faith will give me strength one day
Wow. Such a big change for you. Congrats on being brave enough to share. You are so right about where the world is with regards to Christianity. You are also right it is all about your relationship with God and not what others perceive. Stay strong and connected. He clearly has plans for you, nothing is ever a coincidence when God is involved.
Faith is a lifelong journey, and it can be so hard to articulate outside of your own mind. Personally, I believe that whatever is out there is very patient with us finding our way through it all.
I had a similar experience when I was in high school and my dad had cancer for the first time. I felt so betrayed and alone. but in college, I went to a religious band concert and was so moved that I started going to services there. I wish I could go back to the chapel at my college because I felt at home there. I felt welcome and I knew almost everyone there. but sadly, I cannot. I've been looking for a new religious home since graduating. It's hard, especially since I don't like going places alone. I don't really agree 100% with most forms of Christianity, and the non-denominational churches in my area all have priorities that I don't agree with. hopefully we can both find peace in our faith.
As a Christian myself, it makes me happy to see you're willing to give this a chance. :) I struggle with mental illness myself (depression, anxiety, OCD) so I understand what it's like to feel kind of angry and confused when it comes to how that relates to faith. Overall, though, I'm wishing the absolute best for you, whatever you decide. And I hope you don't mind - I said a prayer for you. :) Also, I don't know if this will help any, but this verse has been stuck in my head as of late in regards to mental stuff - 2 Timothy 4:17.
This makes me so happy to hear! Since I began watching your videos in 2012 I've been praying for God to keep working in your life. I will now continue to pray that he draws you closer to Him and that your peace and joy will grow through this journey! xoxo
I have been watching you since probably 2009. As someone your age who struggles with mild trich and anxiety, I connected with you pretty easily. After your video about your lung condition I prayed for you, that He would bring you back to Him and that you would experience so much healing and happiness...God is so good. He loves you so much right where you're at. I'm so proud of you for allowing your walls to be taken down little by little. I did laugh a bit when you said, "They're all married, to each other" haha that is so accurate XD "When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time."
I had a very similar experience with my religion. My family were catholics and because my older brother is ASD, my parents had always put their eggs in one basket so to speak. I mean that they expected me to become their successful catholic heir. I had a very large first communion all to myself and my entire family was very proud of me. However I began suffering from anxiety and depression at 14 and I began to question my faith. It was at around now that all my cousins at my age have had their confirmation (which is basically a catholic ceremony where you confirm their faith in christ and catholicism in your adult years.) Because I knew the impact of this ceremony when I was asked to confirm by my family members I asked to postpone it again and again. I simply felt I shouldn't go through with it if I had any semblance of a doubt. However my family kept putting pressure on me and eventually implied that I should just do it anyways for appearance sake. This was probably one of the reasons along with larger family issues that I began to break away from my family. I am on good terms with my family now at 21. They accept now that if I confirm I will confirm when I am ready. In a surprising turn of events my brother with ASD has now been confirmed willingly and is very devout, even though everyone had excluded him from our religion in the past because they thought he wouldn't be interested. I agree with you with the notion that your relationship with religion can often be tumultuous. I currently would say i'm a non practicing catholic or an agnostic, but even then I don't see myself as outside of my faith. I still go to mass, but only a couple times a year and mostly with family. Because, like you, a large part of my social and familial life revolved around my faith at a young age, it can seem to others that I have taken a larger step back than what I feel like I actually did. That can be very difficult to navigate sometimes and can make you feel like an outsider in your own church. If I had any advice it would probably be to take it slow, and try not to put any unnecessary pressure on yourself to leap back in with full force. That is what I'm currently trying to do. I wish you luck in any religious ventures you take! xx
I'm so happy that you talked about this because I did and am going through something very similar. My heart wasn't really in to religion during a really dark period in my life and then after a very bad experience with some kids in my youth group I had trouble going to a service without having a panic attack. Then everyone there that cared for me left the church and our congregation got smaller and smaller. Then last winter the roof collapsed and the whole building was condemed now our church is homeless and I don't know how long it will last. I hope to someday find church that makes me happy but for now I'm focusing on other things. Good luck! and I hope you find good people.
Hey Rebecca! I've watched you for the past... six years or so? And I've noticed how similar our faith journeys have been.... this is really surreal to see it happening with someone else. Thank you for sharing your heart, life, and thoughts with us. (Also, you are totally not alone with being a little downhearted that there aren't many single young people at the church you attend -- it's the same for me! I get really excited whenever I see a new person my age...) best of luck in your continued journey ❤️
I recently came back to Christianity, as well. I am 27, and, after watching many of your videos, it's surprising how much we have in common, even, psychologically. I am new to your channel, but, have been binge watching your content. You are pretty amazing and your strength and your journey is so very inspiring. Keep it up, Miss Beckie. I'll be cheering you on.
Hey Beckie- Thanks for making this video and having the courage to put this journey out there. While I don't have a faith, and am happier without it in my life, I can totally appreciate how it can be a vital factor in others'. Ultimately, it's what makes us all happy, especially during the struggle we all experience in our daily life. While I admit this may be slightly more effort for me to flex my empathy muscles when it comes to watching your videos with faith involved (because I can't relate as easily), I think the amount of enjoyment I get from watching your content far outweighs any minute effort on my part. Anywho, hope that makes sense! :)
If you would like to help out with captions (any help is welcome and appreciated) the link is here: th-cam.com/users/timedtext_video?ref=share&v=xlvmjwZUtVo THANK YOU!
When I was a kid, my mom took me to church every Sunday and it wasn't one of those lively ones. It was primarily old people and even though my brother and I were actually quiet. Many of the adults told my mom she was doing a bad job because she would let us bring a toy (dolls, or other things that didn't make noise). So eventually when I grew up, and we moved we stopped going to church. Mostly because the one in our new town wasn't welcoming. But recently (now nearly a decade later) I've been hired to work as a teacher at a Catholic school and now I've had to dive back into it. I know how you feel about being lost.
Thank you for sharing. It's so good to hear someone talk about that feeling of being in a place of questioning - because every body goes through it sometimes and it's totally ok, just like The psalmist crying out to God and always asking 'why?' Or 'when?' Or 'please'. Will be praying for guidance for you in that lost feeling. Bless you xx
My mother always told me never to marry until you have a reliable job, can provide for yourself, and are completely independent. She didn't get married or have children until her 30s and because of it, I have been able to have a more stable and enriching life. There's no rush! Especially at age 24 (you're still a baby!) :)
I am so happy for you Rebecca, thank you for sharing your journey! I agree, religion is so personal. It's something others can share with us but ultimately our own testimonies are grown day by day by faith and study, by prayer. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and my faith helps me daily and hourly. I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. It strengthens me to climb my mountains and helps me fight self doubt. Such power can be gained when we follow Christ in faith. I have been praying for you for years and years as you have gone through your battles and will continue to do so 💗 I pray you will be comforted and strengthened and feel this love, as I have in my life.
This video was beautiful. I feel the same way about religion and it is so nice to hear that someone else is going through that. Thank you so much Rebecca. Love you and good luck with finding your way. It's hard but you have our support. ❤️
Hi Beckie. I have been subscribed to your main channel for years and now subscribed to trich journal as a fellow tricher. Your heart and spirit are beautiful and that is why so many people of all faiths are subscribed to you. I am Christian and even when you decided to become agnostic/atheist, you are such a wonderful person, I knew I found a TH-camr who is honest, truthful, and a positive influence. No matter what you decide in terms of faith and religion, do what makes you happy. ~Ashley. Tennessee, USA
ow. thanks for sharing all this. i've been following you on instagram, Beckie, but hadn't really seen any of your videos before yesterday. i joined you last instagram livestream, and then kind of felt like i was missing out, so i started going through your channel after the livestream. and girl, oh girl. you inspire me! and you also admonish me (in a weird way) about my faith. so, about a month ago, i sort of had this mental-spiritual breakdown. i have been a Christian, reborn (or at least that's what i thought i have been) since i was 13. (it was actually on this very same day 8 years ago! july 3. that is insane, i just realized that) but with that so-called breakdown, i realized all i've been doing over the course of these past 8 years is just compensating the crushing self-hatred and self-loathing. i had had not idea that that's what i had been doing up until a month ago. so, i decided to leave church. however, 3 days before i made this decision, i applied for a festival (as a volunteer) that will take place in my country in a month, in august. and i can't cancel, for 1 - i don't want to face any questions, 2 - i know there is a tremendous lack of guys/men for all the physical work that is needed to make the festival happen. and, i guess you might have already assumed, it is a christian festival. so now i'm kind of stuck. and i said to myself that i'll try to hold onto christianity until the end of that festival. and yes. this is sort of just a pretended christianity, these 2 months altogether, i am well aware of it and it makes me sick. and now i am just hoping for the Lord to do something. i truly am. there is nothing that changes in my faith about God and the way He created this place, all these people, and how He's made all the miracles happen. but i can't bring myself to believe that He is my personal Savior, too. not any more. and i am just desperately hoping that there is something, a miracle or anything, that will put me back in my place. but this time, for real. i don't know, i just kind of feel like i needed to get this out of my chest. cause i haven't really shared that with any of my friends (of which 95% are christian) cause i am afraid of...judgement? questions? no idea. i'm really just hoping. cause i don't want to go. but i don't think i can do this any more in a way i have been doing it. it's either a completely new, renewed life, or nothing, i suppose. either way, if nothing happens this at any point in this following month, before the festival ends, i guess i'm just gonna go. but i'll still hope for the day He calls me (back).
Besides weddings and funerals I haven't been to church since I was about 18 or 19 and I'm 40 now. I've gone through a few things in my life and basically gave up faith and religion and it really annoys me when people tell me that I need to go back to church P.s. The only reason I went to church to begin with was my Mother basically made me go
I've been seeing pictures of you in church and things like that in your Instagram and wondered if you went back to it. Glad you did. I'm Christian myself, and I find that in difficult times having a community to turn to, the consolation of feeling that somewhere, someone wants you to be happy and fullfiled, is helpful. Sometimes there is no consolation at all, but anyway you have Someone to shout to, to be angry at, and that's good too. I know religion is not for everyone, but if you think it can make you happy, as it has done in the past, I'm so glad you explore that option. Good luck in your journey, I hope you find what you're looking for! (wether that's God or something completely different)
Thanks for the video! It's funny how sometimes single people can feel in church but at the same time it's perfectly biblical to stay single, it's not worse than being married! I'm 29 and still single, not knowing whether I ever get married or just stay single, and I'm ok with that, but it's really confusing that lot of people from my church are sure I will get married at some point or even pray for me in this way, as if they don't see this issue in a biblical way... I'm really sorry about how you feel being single in the church!
Hello Beckie, I'm evangelical too :) I'm happy you are trying to go back to God. As you said there is no rush, take you time and think that God was with you even in your darkest times, just waiting for you to put down your walls, as you explained. Your relationship with him is personal and no one has to question this. The great thing about Him is that no matter what we did in our life, no matter there was a time where you shut Him out, He will always be ready, welcoming you.
I'm really glad you made this video. Partially because it seems you're doing what you feel will make you happy or whatever positivity you get from this time and that's always good. But also because I have been going through a slightly similar time, though not as extensive as you. I'm a Christian and used to be very involved with my church. Doing all the things. But since starting Uni I've been quite distant, only keeping in touch with one member who I just open up to completely. I never stopped believing but I didn't do anything with Christianity at my university, mainly because I was afraid of the environment feeling isolated during a time when I was already so lost. At first I made so many plans to make it to services (because I was only 30 minutes away from my hometown) but eventually, I just gave up, stopped messaging people I'd been so close to only a few months prior. I'd changed so much, and not necessarily in a positive way. Now I'm not sure if I can go back without feeling internal guilt. When I look at photos of the youth group events, there are so many new faces. There are new babies, many people have left. I also associate so many memories, many of them sad or angering with my time there; specifically a broken/unhealthy/emotionally unstable/abusive relationship with a boy that lasted for nearly three years. Aside from that, I haven't read my Bible in maybe 8 months? I recently went to my mom's new church (they moved when I started school) and it was so strange. The songs and the message felt familiar but distant. The experience of unfamiliar people being so welcoming and friendly was unsettling somehow. I felt inadequate. Unprepared. An outsider. I don't want to recount the past year of my life to people that once knew me so well. I know they will invite me back with open arms and try and pick up where we left off. But there's a whole year between us. I'm planning to get involved with a group at my school to give me some kind of fellowship. I hope it goes well. I hope everything goes well for you too Beckie. I'm talking about a year....but seven or eight? Above all, I hope you find peace. I pray you'll be strong in whatever way that means to you during this time... Ha I haven't prayed in so long either...I'm sorry this is so long and awkwardly personal. But after watching your video I felt compelled to respond. Much love.
it's so amazing to see how the unconditionally love of God always stays. I could just see Him waiting for you to tear down that wall and He just keeps His arms wide open for you (hopes that makes sense, English is not my first language). I've experienced it a couple of times myself, even tho I am also raised in a Christian family. It will always be a battle and I hope you find strength in your journey to learn more about your faith
I have a mental illness as well and after hiding it for years I finally came to a place where I could get treatment and focus on recovery and I found that christianity/spirituality was a huge consolation to me when I was feeling alone, even though we weren't particularly religious at our house. It was also a wonderful almost meditative ritual of going to church, because I go alone and in silence, to just sit and listen to how much someone up above loves you and will love you forever no matter what. How can that not be healing? It definitely helped me very much and it still does. I like to go sit in church in the afternoon and pray for a little while and lighting a candle. I'm always alone when I do it and when I pray, it's a very personal thing to me, but I'm glad you shared and I hope that you can find some peace or consolation in your relationship with God. If not that's okay too
i have no belief in any religion but the way you talk about your religion is beautiful, it seems so positive, i found this interesting and really nice to watch :)
It is very brave of you to talk about this, regardless of any of the reactions you might get. I have never been a 'fan' of religion (meaning I didn't grow up with it and don't know much about 'actually practicing' a belief) but it brings me joy to hear someone talk about it so honestly and without badmouthing other religions or beliefs. A rare sight, in our time. Congratulations, Becky. Good luck on your journey!
This is heartwarming. I came across your videos a couple of years ago when trying to understand more about mental health. It made me want you to have a place to "come home to". Having worked with Young Adults in church, there are plenty that are not married and with children. You're not alone! And well done for being bold and sharing your story. I'm at New Wine next week - I too have memories of WWJD wristbands and bible bags growing up! Keep exploring, keep working it out. :)
Thank you for posting this! It's inspired me to become more dedicated to my religion and to practice it more often as I too have started to drift away, I'm not Christian but I appreciate this video so much x
Beckie, the whole time I was watching this video, I kept thinking how much it sounded like what I went through with my own faith. I grew up in a Christian family too. Graduated high school, went off to college, and quit going to church, praying, reading the bible...everything that had to do with my faith, I rejected. For 6 years, I didn't step foot in a church unless a friend was getting married in one. I ended up going back to the church I grew up in and 12 years later I'm still there. It's definitely a process though. Glad to see you're giving it a shot! And I feel like you're approach in this vlog was very tactful and if other's are offended, I wouldn't take it to heart too much!
I left the church I grew up in at the beginning of this year. I wasn't leaving my faith or God, but I didn't want religion or church culture anymore because so much of it has hurt me and people I care about. It's been very difficult and most people in my life vocally disapprove. But I so love what you are reminding yourself of and what I need to remember every day: it's between you and God. No one else. You are free to work through it at your own pace, in your own way, and be met in that. I don't know where I'll land with church yet, when/if I'll go back and what I need in one. And that's okay. Where we are *right now* is okay.
I'm glad to hear that you are reconnecting with your faith and going back to church. Spirituality can add so much meaning and purpose to a persons life. It doesn't matter what any one else thinks about it. I hope that you keep exploring your faith, asking hard questions, and engaging with the bible. The church needs more people like you who think critically and dig deep.
Wow this is crazy! I'm in the same boat. I have been ignoring God and my faith for a few years also mostly because of mental health issues and I've also started going back. I totally agree with you that it's hard doing something you blocked out for years especially after so much has changed. You inspire me so much every day and I'm glad you talked about this. Thanks so much for being you and being so open. Love always from South Africa
You should express your faith, Becky! As Christians we are called to share the gospel. You are in an amazing position to do this. You are a beautiful person. Much love to you! These videos make me so happy.
Beckieeeee!! I'm so happy for all of this, I'm gonna watch all of the faith vlogs!! I'm a Christian and I absolutely think that your decision of coming back is incredible, Lord loves you and has beautiful plans for you! God bless you, I pray that day by day you become closer and closer to the Lord! ❤❤
What a beautiful feeling it was to come back to God and realise he still loved me, had always loved me...even when I was adamantly an atheist...even when I hated myself, couldn't stand to be present in my own head any more...he loved me even then. I was never alone, even though I felt so terribly alone. I only began 'creeping' back to God in January this year so it's a recent journey back home for me too :) I'm almost a decade older than you...so I ran away for a lot longer and a lot further away :) As always, thank you for sharing your life with us xo
Religion and spirituality are such personal things. Regardless of where you end up, the important thing is that you're happy and that you're happy with yourself. Wherever that journey takes you, I'm glad you've shared this part of yourself with us and I hope your journey finds you some happiness and peace.
In 2005 I moved from one church to another. In 2016 we moved back to that "first" church. Kids who were in crèche or were in my Kids Work group are now in their late teens and looking at universities. Kids who were in their early teens are now "grown up" and have kids of their own. As a family, we've gone from being one of maybe 2/3 families with very young children to (the current count) being 5 babies due between now and Christmas. Just within our sort of age bracket. I frequently prayed that God would bring me a friend - someone who was my age and sort of at my stage of life too. Funnily enough, when the new associate pastor started, his wife is about the same age as me and our kids are months apart and so get on really well. Moving back to a church where everyone has grown up/grown old with one another is weird. The lady who was on the Welcome Team our first Sunday back actually grew up with my Mum and Dad. She welcomed us with open arms and by the end of the service handed me a bundle of information about the toddler group and community groups (bible studies) before we left. At that point, we were only visiting because our current church had changed the services times and that clashed with other stuff going on with our lives at that point. We had been thinking about moving church but always got in a knot about leaving those around us and questioning whether we'd lose friendships by moving churches (as it happened we did lose some but we kept others). Going back to look round - when we moved back, the whole upstairs of the building had been completed changed - walls had been knocked down and a new floor had been put in where there was an "atrium". The main hall used to be all brickwork but had been painted white and the stage had moved amongst other things. (I had to switch to my computer to be able to write this comment and so have to keep pausing the video too!) I had that bible bag! It was black and collected fluff like no-ones business - in the end, I had to stop using it! I should send you a picture of my first bible - it actually has no cover anymore and would probably fall apart if I tried to use it now. I have two journalling bibles, a pink handbag sort of size bible amongst at least another 3/4 - yeah I know why would I need that many bibles??!??! (As you're arty you might like Illustrated Faith and bible journaling actually in the bible. It's a great form of worship once you get over the whole "Oh my goodness I'm actually painting in my bible" vibe) It is about your relationship with God, not anyone else - and it DOESN'T have to be the same as it was when we were teens. I'm 31, what I believe etc now I think is different in parts of how things were when I was a teen. I wore the WWJD bracelets and the Four Symbols one as well (Heart - God loves Me, Division - I have sinned, Cross - Jesus died for me, question mark - I need to follow Jesus). I am pretty sure I had others too. Didn't have one with a fish on it though lol. Okay, so this is turning into one HUGE essay of a comment - sorry! One of those bibles I have is a Bible in a Year one from Soul Survivor - I'm about to start reading it again starting in September because I suck at reading my bible. I make excuses about how I'm too busy etc and don't get round to reading it. I don't have all the answers but if you do want to chat or vent for that matter let me know. Maybe we can muddle through together. A friend once said to me that people come into your life often for a reason or for a season. So maybe this is a season or maybe God will bring people along side you for a reason. If you want some podcasts to listen to try Soul Survivor or Newday (Newday kicks off this week I believe). Also, New Wine is in progress so again I think they have podcasts of the talks etc. A lot of churches publish their own podcasts too. Try Kings Arms Church Bedford or Woodside Church Bedford (on their website), if you want. We're currently doing the armour of God but we did do Daniel earlier this year and they have both been really interesting. If you'd like a copy of Word for Today by UCB let me know as we always have a spare copy kicking around (no charge - sharing the love). Let me know :) Leaving it here now. Have a great week lovely lady!
As someone who has different view than you on religion and faith, I could never imagine not watching you just because think a little bit different than I do. Because you are more than one or a couple opinion or believes. And it's not like you don't respect that others feel differently.
This is such a beautiful video. I am a Christian but I've also walked away from God, so I fully relate to what you are talking about. And you have said it so much more eloquently than I could. So thank you for making this.
Our stories sound very similar: I was raised by Christian parents in a Christian community, I was quite involved in my church youth group and other church activities, and I left when I was 17 (due to years of being shunned and bullied by peers and adults as well as struggling with my faith.) I was later diagnosed with major depressive disorder. After several months, I tried giving religion another go at a few different churches, and at 20 I knew I was no longer a Christian. It was when I was 21 that I finally realized I had become an atheist. When I realized that, it was like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. For me, I feel much less lost as an atheist than I did at any point before. I won't go into detail, but atheism has been the most freeing, most clarifying thing I have ever experienced. I live with my mom, who is a devout Christian and who gets a tremendous sense of comfort and belonging from her faith. We both talk about religion a lot, but neither of us has any interest in forcefully changing the other person's mindset. We just love and respect each other, and I would never wish to strip away the faith that has carried her through, that gives her hope and comfort. I think it's wonderful for people to think about what they believe, and I hope that wherever you end up gives you some hope and comfort, whether that is Christianity, atheism, or something else.
I love this video! I'm a Christian, and my mental health makes it difficult to engage with my church. Just like you, I feel lost, but I'm trying, and I'm learning more and more about my personal relationship with God. Thank you for talking about this openly; it really brightened my day knowing there are other people just like me in this regard.
I love your honesty! It never feels like your putting on a persona like some other youtubers who seem like their just pretending Happy and chirpy all the time. Keep doing what you do!
Thanks Beckie, this really resonated with me. I had a rough patch and everything was just black and at the time I still went to social gatherings at my church though rarely went to the service on Sunday. With the whole house move I was free on one Saturday morning and just went to the coffee morning the day after I decided to go to church. Thanks for sharing your story. Your bible is a bit like mine maybe mine is more scruffy though as you said least it shows you been using it and it's well loved.
This video definitely spoke to me. I went through a similar situation. And I also used to attend new wine. In fact I was a worship leader in one of the bands for the 5-7 year old Ground breaker groups. It's a fond memory but also a confused one. I've shut it out and rejected it but there is a big part of me that wonders if I could ever re connect. Basically what I'm saying is - i understand your confusion ! But you must do what your heart tells you. Mine doesn't want to re visit it but I'll never say never to it :)
A similar thing happened to me. I "fell out" with God and Christianity because of depression and stuff, and then last year, i went to Soul Survivor Scotland, and I really felt God for the first time in a long time. I'm so happy for You, returning to Christ, and I hope you stay with him/her. I really hope you do! I'll pray for You! ❤🕇
Hi Beckie (and whoever else it may concern), I follow your blog every now and then and have just stumbled over your latest video. Very happy for you to hear that you are starting to reconnect to God. I have been a Christian by decision for 20 years now, since I was 28. During this time I have come to see that my relationship to Jesus is exactly that - a very deep and personal relationship to a person who has been, is and will be with me before and after my life here on earth ends, not primarily to a set of religious rules to follow. I do try to follow them, though, because I love being with him, but often have to admit my failure to him, too. Thanks be to him for being patient enough to help me through, also by giving me friends who also believe in him that way. They are the church one wishes for. You are quite right: It’s a matter between you and him alone. So, do keep talking to him and asking him what steps to go next, listening to him speaking through the Bible and through circumstances. Ask other Christians, if in your church or elsewhere, about their journey and experiences, but be aware about people who try to squeeze you into any box, whether Christians or not. That’s basically how I have spent my last years and they have been a great joy. I do not feel as lost as before, because I know that there is somebody (not just something) loving me out of this world. That’s it, in a rather big nutshell. Here is a site that has greatly helped me to view God the way I do now: www.lifestream.org/. It is hosted by Wayne Jacobsen, one of the co-authors of The Shack. Wishing and praying for you that you will find your way with Jesus, Stephan Zander P.S.: As I am posting this publically, I am willing to reply if replied to, but I will be on holiday for the next two weeks, so it may take a while. However, don’t hesitate to connect if you have questions. P.P.S.: Compliments on many of the atheists commenting here! You have been very gracious in accepting the Christian view although it is not your own. That’s the way it should be like among human beings - and a great example for Christians, too.
Man, this resonated SO much! But I left because I'm gay, and my childhood church wouldn't be accepting of me...my future wife (if I'm lucky enough to find one) and our family. But my new church is amazing, so loving, so accepting, they're doing a lot to heal my heart and my faith. I've also found there's a meetup group for LBGT affirming Christians in my city :D
Thank you, it was actually a huge surprise to find haha because from the 'outside' it seems to be one of the more traditional anglican churches. For anyone who wants to find an LGBT Church, I looked at my city's annual Pride celebrations and which churches were going to be representing themselves at Pride, I also used a website which I currently can't find the link to, to find local churches that were supportive :)
I have never related so much to anything. I was brought up in a Christian family and went to a church of England school. I was a rather proud Christian, but I lost all hope when I was 16 and my mental health went down the gutter. In the last two years I've been thinking more and more about my faith. My boyfriends family are very religious and I think that's part of the reason it's in the forefront of my mind, but I just don't know where I stand in regards to religion. I also have a lot of anxiety around churches... So even if I decide to go back it's gonna take a lot of mental energy and idk if I'm prepared for that... Thank you for making this video! It's nice to not feel alone x
I just want to say that I am happy for you for opening yourself up again to God and to us and I personally support you on this journey of sorts wherever it goes. Don't feel like you have to understand and remember everything at once; take your time. I would like to recommend a couple TH-cam channels that might help you. The first is the Bible Project, full of animated videos on the books of the Bible as well as videos on different themes of the Bible and on how to read the Bible. The second is Jon Jorgenson, who I have found recently. He speaks quite eloquently on various topics in the Bible and his videos have been very helpful for me.
Prayers that God will guide you, direct you, and keep you in the midst of what anyone says to try to sway you from this awesome path you have chosen to reinstate in your life! I believe God is truly reaching out to you in the midst of all you recently went through to show you that you are greatly greatly loved, cared for, and in better hands with Him in your life than without! Amen! I pray His precious Spirit will speak life back into your life and to assist you in all your perceptions of what religion is versus relationship... cuz that's what real Christianity is about: having an intimate and profound relationship with Jesus in all that you do with your life! I'm praying Becky, and remember that one day every knee will bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord!
this video makes me wanna cry, i’m not even a christian but i can feel you bcuz i had almost the same journey. i was so angry and depressed the last four years, i hated everything in my life i was about to lose my faith but fortunately i didn’t. and now i think i’m turning back to where i belonged, of course with some updates 😄❤️
Hi Beckie. The Lord showed me to this brother on TH-cam named Doug Perry. He is apart of Fellowship of the Martyrs or fotm1 as it is called on TH-cam. His videos have been a real blessing to my relationship with God. I felt like the Lord wanted me to tell you about him. Love you Beckie. Poem, a sister from Ohio
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Hello! Sorry I haven't been able to do the captions as of yet. I only filmed this yesterday and unexpectedly with my Grandad today. I will do them when I can. X
Hello it is true that it is very difficult to become a leader on the bible because all amount of violence that exists around this subject.
But I believe that in the bible there are answers for all people, for rich, for poor, for communists, metaphysicians , apathetic, and even satanists and anti-christians.
If you want some advice about the bible I would like to be able to help you, I almost finished reading the whole bible. I read it from my 13 years ago more than 20 years ago and I can tell you what subjects respond to the determined people like the ones I just mentioned.
I hope you continue to read the bible and I would like to comment with you. Greetings from Mx.
Beckie Jane Brown it is awesome that you have come back to looking at the King of kings! Don't be ashamed about your faith! God will always be for you! Well done!! Haha!- we have the same bibles 👌
I've been lifting you in prayer for years. I'm so happy you made this 💖
If works for you dont let anyone take it from you.
I'm Muslim and I'm not sure if the Bible says this also, but there's a verse in the Quran that says that God does not burden a soul beyond it can handle, and that if a believer comes to Him walking, He will come to them running; I'm really happy for you for going on this journey, hopefully wherever you end up is what's best for you♥️
spacedoutin the Bible also says those things you mentioned :)
I'm an atheist,
But thank you for talking about your religion and being nice about it,
As long as you are a good person and don't hate anyone because of your beliefes,
You do you
Why watch this then if you are a atheist?
I'll go out and say that I don't agree with religion, but if it makes one happy and seems to be a positive influence on your life, that's all that matters. Don't let people try and bring you down. If it works for you, run with it.
Good words, you really nailed it!
I'm non religious, but happy to hear an update on your exploration of faith! It's an interesting topic and I thought you did a great job expressing your place :)
This video is very important to me. I've been struggling with my mental and physical health for years, and since college I stopped going to church. Its been very hard for me to go back and I am also lost and angry. This video has put a lot of thing into perspective for me and has gotten me to think back. Thank you
Resa Rose same
very similar for me too... I am really astonished that somebody goes through this same thing... It makes me feel less alone and weird :)
personally, I'm an atheist, but I'm so glad you're talking about religion because it means something to you, and that's what's important. it's important that what you do makes you feel good. this is your channel, after all
I am atheist and I really liked the video. It is not about religion, it is about reconnecting with something of your past, which I can really relate to and understand your confusion.
"This doesn't have to please other people, it's about me." This sentence keeps banging constantly in my head, especially about my religion. I have had so many people on the internet hate on my belief and it just hurts me. Honestly speaking, I'm terrified about telling people about it. Thank you Beckie. This video -even though I'm not a christian- really helped me. It really helped me understand that no one should be able to bring me away from it.
In the past three years, I have abandoned my religiosity and I avoided it as much as I could. However after watching this video I feel so peaceful about it. I want to turn back. And after telling a few prayers, I already feel very secure, thank you so much for giving me a starting point. You really are truly an angel.
Hi Rebecca, my name is Lana and I'm a Christian myself. I've been watching your videos for about 2-3 years now and this particular one has made me so so happy. I struggled with depression, anxiety and panic attacks through my whole childhood and teen years. So I guess I can partly relate to what you're sharing about mental health. I came to know God through one amazing person who not only taught me about the Bible but also just showed how much God loved me. Jesus literally has changed my life. I experienced this supernatural peace and comfort, nothing around me changed but I started having joy in my heart. I know for sure that God is able to transform any person because I'm one of those people. Just letting you know that I've been praying for you for about a year now even though we've never met in person. God can perform miracles. Love you, Lana.
Going through something similar at the moment. You do you xx
ploppyfunk me too but Im still blocking out God
Why don't you stop comparing yourself to others or what society saids is "normal" for you to do at your age. Life is a whole lot less lonely when you stop trying to be what society wants you to be. When we grow up society tells you what is the right age to get married, when to have a full time job, to have kids.. But honestly, how many people in their 20s or even 30s have life all figured out. And even the people that have that "full" life society saids we all should want. How many of them are happy? lots of them are stressed out trying to balance everything and struggle to find time for themselves.
This comes with time and not everyone gets there. And even if you go against what you're "supposed to" do, that doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want what other people have.
I don't believe in a god and believe sometimes religion can split societies and cause a lot of unnecessary problems in our world- but I will never judge others for what they believe
I put up walls around myself too, blocking out faith and religion. I had a youth pastor who told me once that he thought people with mental illness were possessed. I was diagnosed with bi-polar at the time and was extremely traumatized by his words. I began having nightmares about hell for weeks. I began to question my faith and decided to walk away from Christianity at that point. I studied and embraced other faiths and beliefs. It is only recently that i have come to terms with Christianity after being so angry toward it for so many years. I finally realized that it wasn't the faith that caused my pain, it was the person. But i have learned to let go and move forward. Anyway, sorry for making this so long, but i wanted to share my story with you. I understand how you feel in coming terms with your faith and beliefs after a period of remission (i guess that's the right word). Things will work themselves out in time. ✌❤☺
Sorry to hear about your terrible experiences - some Christians can have badly misunderstood this topic.. I was also disappointed with Christians and put my faith on hold for some years because of that. It's definitely important to understand God is not the same as Christians, because people always make mistakes and can disappoint you in different ways. But God is good! All the best, may God bless and guide you on your journey!
histamiiini Thank you! God bless as well 😊
I just stumbled upon this video and it made me so so happy. I've been praying for you for ages. Don't be afraid to explore. Just as you said, this is between you and God. Sending you endless love!!
I am a Christian and am very proud of your declaration. Know that you are always in my prayers and sending much love from Tennessee. One of the hardest things to do in today's society is talk about your beliefs in this manor. Be they not politically correct or accepted you just did what the Bible tells us to do. Romans 10:09-10.
Beckie, I've been following you on here for a while now. And I've always wanted to just sit and talk with you. Hearing you talk about your faith is so beautiful. Hard times will come, but Jesus Christ is still with you. He is molding your heart once again, and will continue if you let Him.
Praying for you.
Thank you for your testimony! I am also a believer and was a monk for a year. I know the power of faith and wish you to be home again. I pray for you.
This was really reassuring and encouraging for me to watch. Thanks so much for making this, and I wish you all the luck with your personal faith journey ❤️
I'm not (super) religious myself but when I see people who are really passionate about their beliefs - like you are now - and really feel 'it' I almost feel envious. It must be a really pleasant, calming, comforting feeling to know that there's always Someone to talk to, who will look after you during your highs and lows. I do not agree with all parts of religion but just the fact how some people can live with this calmth and acceptance about life and the course it will take is amazing.
I loved this video. And I can say that I have prayed for you in the past. I'm glad to find that you are returning home
Thank you for always being so honest. Thank you for sharing this part of you. I know it takes a lot of courage. Thank you.
Love you Beckie! I've been through something similar. Happy and proud to hear you voice your thoughts no matter who may or may not stay here with you.
TH-cam's layout has suddenly changed for me all of a sudden, and on the subject of changes, it's surprising, if not most heartening to see that you're examining your faith perspective again, and it's encouraging for me in my faith walk to see someone I respect, reconsidering faith. And thank you for welcoming your audience into what was such a strong element of your childhood, and is clearly a personal subject. It has surely, as you've previously explained, shaped your life, behaviours, morals, decisions, language usage, and character.
If I think back to my own childhood, the Christian/Jewish/Godly stories within Scripture, they formulated my perspective on life, relationships, what is and isn't acceptable in the eyes of a loving but just Creator. E.g The story of the Exodus (my own perspective after reflection) that God rescued the lowest and outcast in Egyptian society, the Hebrew Slaves, and chose those, the poorest and hated, to be His people.
However there are also difficult stories in Scripture, for me, some things that don't add up. But the teachings Jesus had in his ministry as in the Gospels, they to me are pure gold and they give me life. They are to me a fountain of living water. I believe in miracles, acts of an all powerful loving creator, but we mess things up ourselves, and sometimes perservance through trials can be easier than having my heavenly father rescue me, that's the mindset Christ had, so maybe his followes can too. I don't think all the comments on all the videos on TH-cam are enough for me to talk on the subject of faith and the Bible.
You will have surely have had a valid reason to question or walk away from church-life or specifically Christian culture, your brothers and sisters in the faith, and yes, and although I haven't watched your videos in a few months, I hope that when Christmas comes around this year, you're able to join like minded people in a celebration of 'good' if you choose to, and celebrate the man who brought 'Joy to the World' 'forgiveness of sins' or if not that you enjoy coming to terms with the past, and useful things faith has given you. Even if there can be socially negative things. (But clearly being a Christian is more than Christmas ofc!)
Also this comment is more my thoughts, and I used too much of my own thoughts, so here's some words of Jesus, that make me realize he truly is God's Son, as he *lived* these words out himself. They are from the Youth Bible translation (I think) the NCV:-
(Luke 6:27-36)
But I say to you who are listening, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who are cruel to you. If anyone slaps you on one cheek, offer him the other cheek, too. If someone takes your coat, do not stop him from taking your shirt. Give to everyone who asks you, and when someone takes something that is yours, don’t ask for it back. *Do to others what you would want them to do to you.* If you love only the people who love you, what praise should you get? Even sinners love the people who love them. If you do good only to those who do good to you, what praise should you get? Even sinners do that! If you lend things to people, always hoping to get something back, what praise should you get? Even sinners lend to other sinners so that they can get back the same amount! But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without hoping to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward, and *you will be children of the Most High God,* because he is kind even to people who are ungrateful and full of sin. *Show mercy, just as your Father shows mercy.*
It would be a fulfilled goal to have an open discussion of faith, religion, mental health, sci-fi and a lot more with you. But I'm happy to wait until heaven for that! lol. Have a great day Beckie.
Hi Beckie! I'm a Wiccan and I totally get what you mean about mental health barricading you in away from your faith. I've struggled on and off for the last six or seven years with anxiety and depression. I'm currently 23 and I'm in a state of "off" which means my relationship with the God and Goddess is a positive one. When I'm having a bad period of mental health I have noticed that my interest in my faith dwindles, so I'm glad that I'm not the only one who experiences this. Glad you are rediscovering your faith, Beckie! ❤️
"This doesn't have to please other people..." is exactly right Rebecca!! Well done you for having the courage to go back and re-explore- I found myself in a similar position back in November after a bought of mental health issues. It isn't easy, but you are so strong for trying! There is no harm or no shame in being you. People often don't want to hear about Christianity, so I'm really thankful that you're talking about it openly. So what if people walk away? If they care about you, the WHOLE you, and love and respect you, they'll stick around no matter what you do/believe. The majority of the comments I've seen have been very accepting, which is lovely!! :D I will pray for you to continue and to help other people see it's okay to come back :)
I've been sick for 5 years and have struggled so much keeping my faith, seeing this video is very inspiring!!
Thank you for sharing this with us and being so open about it! This is your way and you walk it at your own pace. xoxo
for year since my first psychosis at age 16 when i escaped from the mental institution to run to an abbey by asking for priests to take me in. at age 26 now being a schizophrenic i till have delusions of it and searching and hoping to believe but religion just doesnt come to me. its hard these times with science and the world we live in. i do wear a cross on my neclace hoping that maybe faith will give me strength one day
Wow. Such a big change for you. Congrats on being brave enough to share. You are so right about where the world is with regards to Christianity. You are also right it is all about your relationship with God and not what others perceive. Stay strong and connected. He clearly has plans for you, nothing is ever a coincidence when God is involved.
Faith is a lifelong journey, and it can be so hard to articulate outside of your own mind. Personally, I believe that whatever is out there is very patient with us finding our way through it all.
I had a similar experience when I was in high school and my dad had cancer for the first time. I felt so betrayed and alone. but in college, I went to a religious band concert and was so moved that I started going to services there. I wish I could go back to the chapel at my college because I felt at home there. I felt welcome and I knew almost everyone there. but sadly, I cannot. I've been looking for a new religious home since graduating. It's hard, especially since I don't like going places alone. I don't really agree 100% with most forms of Christianity, and the non-denominational churches in my area all have priorities that I don't agree with. hopefully we can both find peace in our faith.
As a Christian myself, it makes me happy to see you're willing to give this a chance. :) I struggle with mental illness myself (depression, anxiety, OCD) so I understand what it's like to feel kind of angry and confused when it comes to how that relates to faith. Overall, though, I'm wishing the absolute best for you, whatever you decide. And I hope you don't mind - I said a prayer for you. :) Also, I don't know if this will help any, but this verse has been stuck in my head as of late in regards to mental stuff - 2 Timothy 4:17.
I'm happy you are processing all of this. I'll be praying for you! Love you Rebecca❤️❤️
Loved this Rebecca. It's okay to feel lost. He's moving mountains in your life. I'm sure if it. Just wait and see. ❤️
This makes me so happy to hear! Since I began watching your videos in 2012 I've been praying for God to keep working in your life. I will now continue to pray that he draws you closer to Him and that your peace and joy will grow through this journey! xoxo
I'm so happy for you💕
You have the right to believe in whatever you want to. No one can judge this, it is your life, it is your choice. Sending my love to you 💙
I have been watching you since probably 2009. As someone your age who struggles with mild trich and anxiety, I connected with you pretty easily. After your video about your lung condition I prayed for you, that He would bring you back to Him and that you would experience so much healing and happiness...God is so good. He loves you so much right where you're at. I'm so proud of you for allowing your walls to be taken down little by little. I did laugh a bit when you said, "They're all married, to each other" haha that is so accurate XD
"When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time."
I had a very similar experience with my religion. My family were catholics and because my older brother is ASD, my parents had always put their eggs in one basket so to speak. I mean that they expected me to become their successful catholic heir. I had a very large first communion all to myself and my entire family was very proud of me.
However I began suffering from anxiety and depression at 14 and I began to question my faith. It was at around now that all my cousins at my age have had their confirmation (which is basically a catholic ceremony where you confirm their faith in christ and catholicism in your adult years.) Because I knew the impact of this ceremony when I was asked to confirm by my family members I asked to postpone it again and again. I simply felt I shouldn't go through with it if I had any semblance of a doubt. However my family kept putting pressure on me and eventually implied that I should just do it anyways for appearance sake. This was probably one of the reasons along with larger family issues that I began to break away from my family.
I am on good terms with my family now at 21. They accept now that if I confirm I will confirm when I am ready. In a surprising turn of events my brother with ASD has now been confirmed willingly and is very devout, even though everyone had excluded him from our religion in the past because they thought he wouldn't be interested.
I agree with you with the notion that your relationship with religion can often be tumultuous. I currently would say i'm a non practicing catholic or an agnostic, but even then I don't see myself as outside of my faith. I still go to mass, but only a couple times a year and mostly with family. Because, like you, a large part of my social and familial life revolved around my faith at a young age, it can seem to others that I have taken a larger step back than what I feel like I actually did. That can be very difficult to navigate sometimes and can make you feel like an outsider in your own church. If I had any advice it would probably be to take it slow, and try not to put any unnecessary pressure on yourself to leap back in with full force. That is what I'm currently trying to do. I wish you luck in any religious ventures you take! xx
What is ASD?
I'm so happy that you talked about this because I did and am going through something very similar. My heart wasn't really in to religion during a really dark period in my life and then after a very bad experience with some kids in my youth group I had trouble going to a service without having a panic attack. Then everyone there that cared for me left the church and our congregation got smaller and smaller. Then last winter the roof collapsed and the whole building was condemed now our church is homeless and I don't know how long it will last. I hope to someday find church that makes me happy but for now I'm focusing on other things. Good luck! and I hope you find good people.
Hey Rebecca! I've watched you for the past... six years or so? And I've noticed how similar our faith journeys have been.... this is really surreal to see it happening with someone else. Thank you for sharing your heart, life, and thoughts with us. (Also, you are totally not alone with being a little downhearted that there aren't many single young people at the church you attend -- it's the same for me! I get really excited whenever I see a new person my age...) best of luck in your continued journey ❤️
I recently came back to Christianity, as well. I am 27, and, after watching many of your videos, it's surprising how much we have in common, even, psychologically. I am new to your channel, but, have been binge watching your content. You are pretty amazing and your strength and your journey is so very inspiring. Keep it up, Miss Beckie. I'll be cheering you on.
Hey Beckie- Thanks for making this video and having the courage to put this journey out there. While I don't have a faith, and am happier without it in my life, I can totally appreciate how it can be a vital factor in others'. Ultimately, it's what makes us all happy, especially during the struggle we all experience in our daily life.
While I admit this may be slightly more effort for me to flex my empathy muscles when it comes to watching your videos with faith involved (because I can't relate as easily), I think the amount of enjoyment I get from watching your content far outweighs any minute effort on my part.
Anywho, hope that makes sense! :)
If you would like to help out with captions (any help is welcome and appreciated) the link is here: th-cam.com/users/timedtext_video?ref=share&v=xlvmjwZUtVo THANK YOU!
When I was a kid, my mom took me to church every Sunday and it wasn't one of those lively ones. It was primarily old people and even though my brother and I were actually quiet. Many of the adults told my mom she was doing a bad job because she would let us bring a toy (dolls, or other things that didn't make noise). So eventually when I grew up, and we moved we stopped going to church. Mostly because the one in our new town wasn't welcoming. But recently (now nearly a decade later) I've been hired to work as a teacher at a Catholic school and now I've had to dive back into it. I know how you feel about being lost.
Thank you for sharing. It's so good to hear someone talk about that feeling of being in a place of questioning - because every body goes through it sometimes and it's totally ok, just like The psalmist crying out to God and always asking 'why?' Or 'when?' Or 'please'. Will be praying for guidance for you in that lost feeling. Bless you xx
My mother always told me never to marry until you have a reliable job, can provide for yourself, and are completely independent. She didn't get married or have children until her 30s and because of it, I have been able to have a more stable and enriching life. There's no rush! Especially at age 24 (you're still a baby!) :)
I am so happy for you Rebecca, thank you for sharing your journey! I agree, religion is so personal. It's something others can share with us but ultimately our own testimonies are grown day by day by faith and study, by prayer. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and my faith helps me daily and hourly. I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. It strengthens me to climb my mountains and helps me fight self doubt. Such power can be gained when we follow Christ in faith. I have been praying for you for years and years as you have gone through your battles and will continue to do so 💗 I pray you will be comforted and strengthened and feel this love, as I have in my life.
I've been struggling with my faith the last few years... thank you for making this video Rebecca, you helped me to start taking down those bricks.
As someone who has the same struggles with Christianity, it feels so good to hear that we are not alone in our struggles - thank you, Beckie.
This video was beautiful. I feel the same way about religion and it is so nice to hear that someone else is going through that. Thank you so much Rebecca.
Love you and good luck with finding your way. It's hard but you have our support. ❤️
Hi Beckie. I have been subscribed to your main channel for years and now subscribed to trich journal as a fellow tricher. Your heart and spirit are beautiful and that is why so many people of all faiths are subscribed to you. I am Christian and even when you decided to become agnostic/atheist, you are such a wonderful person, I knew I found a TH-camr who is honest, truthful, and a positive influence. No matter what you decide in terms of faith and religion, do what makes you happy.
~Ashley. Tennessee, USA
ow. thanks for sharing all this. i've been following you on instagram, Beckie, but hadn't really seen any of your videos before yesterday.
i joined you last instagram livestream, and then kind of felt like i was missing out, so i started going through your channel after the livestream. and girl, oh girl. you inspire me!
and you also admonish me (in a weird way) about my faith.
so, about a month ago, i sort of had this mental-spiritual breakdown.
i have been a Christian, reborn (or at least that's what i thought i have been) since i was 13.
(it was actually on this very same day 8 years ago! july 3. that is insane, i just realized that)
but with that so-called breakdown, i realized all i've been doing over the course of these past 8 years is just compensating the crushing self-hatred and self-loathing. i had had not idea that that's what i had been doing up until a month ago. so, i decided to leave church.
however, 3 days before i made this decision, i applied for a festival (as a volunteer) that will take place in my country in a month, in august. and i can't cancel, for 1 - i don't want to face any questions, 2 - i know there is a tremendous lack of guys/men for all the physical work that is needed to make the festival happen. and, i guess you might have already assumed, it is a christian festival.
so now i'm kind of stuck. and i said to myself that i'll try to hold onto christianity until the end of that festival. and yes. this is sort of just a pretended christianity, these 2 months altogether, i am well aware of it and it makes me sick. and now i am just hoping for the Lord to do something. i truly am. there is nothing that changes in my faith about God and the way He created this place, all these people, and how He's made all the miracles happen. but i can't bring myself to believe that He is my personal Savior, too. not any more. and i am just desperately hoping that there is something, a miracle or anything, that will put me back in my place. but this time, for real.
i don't know, i just kind of feel like i needed to get this out of my chest. cause i haven't really shared that with any of my friends (of which 95% are christian) cause i am afraid of...judgement? questions? no idea. i'm really just hoping. cause i don't want to go. but i don't think i can do this any more in a way i have been doing it. it's either a completely new, renewed life, or nothing, i suppose. either way, if nothing happens this at any point in this following month, before the festival ends, i guess i'm just gonna go. but i'll still hope for the day He calls me (back).
Besides weddings and funerals I haven't been to church since I was about 18 or 19 and I'm 40 now. I've gone through a few things in my life and basically gave up faith and religion and it really annoys me when people tell me that I need to go back to church P.s. The only reason I went to church to begin with was my Mother basically made me go
Glad to see you're rediscovering something that makes you happy 😊
I've been seeing pictures of you in church and things like that in your Instagram and wondered if you went back to it. Glad you did. I'm Christian myself, and I find that in difficult times having a community to turn to, the consolation of feeling that somewhere, someone wants you to be happy and fullfiled, is helpful. Sometimes there is no consolation at all, but anyway you have Someone to shout to, to be angry at, and that's good too. I know religion is not for everyone, but if you think it can make you happy, as it has done in the past, I'm so glad you explore that option. Good luck in your journey, I hope you find what you're looking for! (wether that's God or something completely different)
Thanks for the video! It's funny how sometimes single people can feel in church but at the same time it's perfectly biblical to stay single, it's not worse than being married! I'm 29 and still single, not knowing whether I ever get married or just stay single, and I'm ok with that, but it's really confusing that lot of people from my church are sure I will get married at some point or even pray for me in this way, as if they don't see this issue in a biblical way... I'm really sorry about how you feel being single in the church!
Hello Beckie, I'm evangelical too :) I'm happy you are trying to go back to God. As you said there is no rush, take you time and think that God was with you even in your darkest times, just waiting for you to put down your walls, as you explained. Your relationship with him is personal and no one has to question this. The great thing about Him is that no matter what we did in our life, no matter there was a time where you shut Him out, He will always be ready, welcoming you.
I'm really glad you made this video. Partially because it seems you're doing what you feel will make you happy or whatever positivity you get from this time and that's always good. But also because I have been going through a slightly similar time, though not as extensive as you. I'm a Christian and used to be very involved with my church. Doing all the things. But since starting Uni I've been quite distant, only keeping in touch with one member who I just open up to completely. I never stopped believing but I didn't do anything with Christianity at my university, mainly because I was afraid of the environment feeling isolated during a time when I was already so lost. At first I made so many plans to make it to services (because I was only 30 minutes away from my hometown) but eventually, I just gave up, stopped messaging people I'd been so close to only a few months prior. I'd changed so much, and not necessarily in a positive way. Now I'm not sure if I can go back without feeling internal guilt. When I look at photos of the youth group events, there are so many new faces. There are new babies, many people have left. I also associate so many memories, many of them sad or angering with my time there; specifically a broken/unhealthy/emotionally unstable/abusive relationship with a boy that lasted for nearly three years. Aside from that, I haven't read my Bible in maybe 8 months? I recently went to my mom's new church (they moved when I started school) and it was so strange. The songs and the message felt familiar but distant. The experience of unfamiliar people being so welcoming and friendly was unsettling somehow. I felt inadequate. Unprepared. An outsider. I don't want to recount the past year of my life to people that once knew me so well. I know they will invite me back with open arms and try and pick up where we left off. But there's a whole year between us. I'm planning to get involved with a group at my school to give me some kind of fellowship. I hope it goes well. I hope everything goes well for you too Beckie. I'm talking about a year....but seven or eight? Above all, I hope you find peace. I pray you'll be strong in whatever way that means to you during this time... Ha I haven't prayed in so long either...I'm sorry this is so long and awkwardly personal. But after watching your video I felt compelled to respond. Much love.
Life is a weird trip; appreciate your openness and processing
it's so amazing to see how the unconditionally love of God always stays. I could just see Him waiting for you to tear down that wall and He just keeps His arms wide open for you (hopes that makes sense, English is not my first language). I've experienced it a couple of times myself, even tho I am also raised in a Christian family. It will always be a battle and I hope you find strength in your journey to learn more about your faith
I have a mental illness as well and after hiding it for years I finally came to a place where I could get treatment and focus on recovery and I found that christianity/spirituality was a huge consolation to me when I was feeling alone, even though we weren't particularly religious at our house. It was also a wonderful almost meditative ritual of going to church, because I go alone and in silence, to just sit and listen to how much someone up above loves you and will love you forever no matter what. How can that not be healing? It definitely helped me very much and it still does. I like to go sit in church in the afternoon and pray for a little while and lighting a candle. I'm always alone when I do it and when I pray, it's a very personal thing to me, but I'm glad you shared and I hope that you can find some peace or consolation in your relationship with God. If not that's okay too
I support you either way Becca, as long as you're happy 💛
i have no belief in any religion but the way you talk about your religion is beautiful, it seems so positive, i found this interesting and really nice to watch :)
It is very brave of you to talk about this, regardless of any of the reactions you might get. I have never been a 'fan' of religion (meaning I didn't grow up with it and don't know much about 'actually practicing' a belief) but it brings me joy to hear someone talk about it so honestly and without badmouthing other religions or beliefs. A rare sight, in our time. Congratulations, Becky. Good luck on your journey!
This is heartwarming. I came across your videos a couple of years ago when trying to understand more about mental health. It made me want you to have a place to "come home to". Having worked with Young Adults in church, there are plenty that are not married and with children. You're not alone! And well done for being bold and sharing your story.
I'm at New Wine next week - I too have memories of WWJD wristbands and bible bags growing up! Keep exploring, keep working it out. :)
Thank you for posting this! It's inspired me to become more dedicated to my religion and to practice it more often as I too have started to drift away, I'm not Christian but I appreciate this video so much x
God bless you, Beckie Brown
Beckie, the whole time I was watching this video, I kept thinking how much it sounded like what I went through with my own faith. I grew up in a Christian family too. Graduated high school, went off to college, and quit going to church, praying, reading the bible...everything that had to do with my faith, I rejected. For 6 years, I didn't step foot in a church unless a friend was getting married in one. I ended up going back to the church I grew up in and 12 years later I'm still there. It's definitely a process though. Glad to see you're giving it a shot! And I feel like you're approach in this vlog was very tactful and if other's are offended, I wouldn't take it to heart too much!
I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.
I left the church I grew up in at the beginning of this year. I wasn't leaving my faith or God, but I didn't want religion or church culture anymore because so much of it has hurt me and people I care about. It's been very difficult and most people in my life vocally disapprove. But I so love what you are reminding yourself of and what I need to remember every day: it's between you and God. No one else. You are free to work through it at your own pace, in your own way, and be met in that. I don't know where I'll land with church yet, when/if I'll go back and what I need in one. And that's okay. Where we are *right now* is okay.
I'm glad to hear that you are reconnecting with your faith and going back to church. Spirituality can add so much meaning and purpose to a persons life. It doesn't matter what any one else thinks about it. I hope that you keep exploring your faith, asking hard questions, and engaging with the bible. The church needs more people like you who think critically and dig deep.
Wow this is crazy! I'm in the same boat. I have been ignoring God and my faith for a few years also mostly because of mental health issues and I've also started going back. I totally agree with you that it's hard doing something you blocked out for years especially after so much has changed. You inspire me so much every day and I'm glad you talked about this. Thanks so much for being you and being so open. Love always from South Africa
If brings you peace and happiness just go for it, so happy to see a new light on your eyes. :)
You should express your faith, Becky! As Christians we are called to share the gospel. You are in an amazing position to do this. You are a beautiful person. Much love to you! These videos make me so happy.
Faith is about believing that you are amazing just as you are no matter what. Becoming Happy just as you are. Trusting the power of your life. Xxx
Beckieeeee!! I'm so happy for all of this, I'm gonna watch all of the faith vlogs!! I'm a Christian and I absolutely think that your decision of coming back is incredible, Lord loves you and has beautiful plans for you! God bless you, I pray that day by day you become closer and closer to the Lord! ❤❤
What a beautiful feeling it was to come back to God and realise he still loved me, had always loved me...even when I was adamantly an atheist...even when I hated myself, couldn't stand to be present in my own head any more...he loved me even then. I was never alone, even though I felt so terribly alone. I only began 'creeping' back to God in January this year so it's a recent journey back home for me too :) I'm almost a decade older than you...so I ran away for a lot longer and a lot further away :) As always, thank you for sharing your life with us xo
I'm so pleased you are making steps to return to church.god has been a huge part of my life.
Religion and spirituality are such personal things. Regardless of where you end up, the important thing is that you're happy and that you're happy with yourself. Wherever that journey takes you, I'm glad you've shared this part of yourself with us and I hope your journey finds you some happiness and peace.
In 2005 I moved from one church to another. In 2016 we moved back to that "first" church. Kids who were in crèche or were in my Kids Work group are now in their late teens and looking at universities. Kids who were in their early teens are now "grown up" and have kids of their own. As a family, we've gone from being one of maybe 2/3 families with very young children to (the current count) being 5 babies due between now and Christmas. Just within our sort of age bracket. I frequently prayed that God would bring me a friend - someone who was my age and sort of at my stage of life too. Funnily enough, when the new associate pastor started, his wife is about the same age as me and our kids are months apart and so get on really well.
Moving back to a church where everyone has grown up/grown old with one another is weird. The lady who was on the Welcome Team our first Sunday back actually grew up with my Mum and Dad. She welcomed us with open arms and by the end of the service handed me a bundle of information about the toddler group and community groups (bible studies) before we left. At that point, we were only visiting because our current church had changed the services times and that clashed with other stuff going on with our lives at that point. We had been thinking about moving church but always got in a knot about leaving those around us and questioning whether we'd lose friendships by moving churches (as it happened we did lose some but we kept others).
Going back to look round - when we moved back, the whole upstairs of the building had been completed changed - walls had been knocked down and a new floor had been put in where there was an "atrium". The main hall used to be all brickwork but had been painted white and the stage had moved amongst other things.
(I had to switch to my computer to be able to write this comment and so have to keep pausing the video too!)
I had that bible bag! It was black and collected fluff like no-ones business - in the end, I had to stop using it! I should send you a picture of my first bible - it actually has no cover anymore and would probably fall apart if I tried to use it now. I have two journalling bibles, a pink handbag sort of size bible amongst at least another 3/4 - yeah I know why would I need that many bibles??!??! (As you're arty you might like Illustrated Faith and bible journaling actually in the bible. It's a great form of worship once you get over the whole "Oh my goodness I'm actually painting in my bible" vibe)
It is about your relationship with God, not anyone else - and it DOESN'T have to be the same as it was when we were teens. I'm 31, what I believe etc now I think is different in parts of how things were when I was a teen. I wore the WWJD bracelets and the Four Symbols one as well (Heart - God loves Me, Division - I have sinned, Cross - Jesus died for me, question mark - I need to follow Jesus). I am pretty sure I had others too. Didn't have one with a fish on it though lol.
Okay, so this is turning into one HUGE essay of a comment - sorry!
One of those bibles I have is a Bible in a Year one from Soul Survivor - I'm about to start reading it again starting in September because I suck at reading my bible. I make excuses about how I'm too busy etc and don't get round to reading it.
I don't have all the answers but if you do want to chat or vent for that matter let me know. Maybe we can muddle through together.
A friend once said to me that people come into your life often for a reason or for a season. So maybe this is a season or maybe God will bring people along side you for a reason.
If you want some podcasts to listen to try Soul Survivor or Newday (Newday kicks off this week I believe). Also, New Wine is in progress so again I think they have podcasts of the talks etc. A lot of churches publish their own podcasts too. Try Kings Arms Church Bedford or Woodside Church Bedford (on their website), if you want. We're currently doing the armour of God but we did do Daniel earlier this year and they have both been really interesting. If you'd like a copy of Word for Today by UCB let me know as we always have a spare copy kicking around (no charge - sharing the love). Let me know :) Leaving it here now. Have a great week lovely lady!
As someone who has different view than you on religion and faith, I could never imagine not watching you just because think a little bit different than I do. Because you are more than one or a couple opinion or believes. And it's not like you don't respect that others feel differently.
This is such a beautiful video. I am a Christian but I've also walked away from God, so I fully relate to what you are talking about. And you have said it so much more eloquently than I could. So thank you for making this.
Our stories sound very similar: I was raised by Christian parents in a Christian community, I was quite involved in my church youth group and other church activities, and I left when I was 17 (due to years of being shunned and bullied by peers and adults as well as struggling with my faith.) I was later diagnosed with major depressive disorder. After several months, I tried giving religion another go at a few different churches, and at 20 I knew I was no longer a Christian. It was when I was 21 that I finally realized I had become an atheist. When I realized that, it was like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
For me, I feel much less lost as an atheist than I did at any point before. I won't go into detail, but atheism has been the most freeing, most clarifying thing I have ever experienced.
I live with my mom, who is a devout Christian and who gets a tremendous sense of comfort and belonging from her faith. We both talk about religion a lot, but neither of us has any interest in forcefully changing the other person's mindset. We just love and respect each other, and I would never wish to strip away the faith that has carried her through, that gives her hope and comfort. I think it's wonderful for people to think about what they believe, and I hope that wherever you end up gives you some hope and comfort, whether that is Christianity, atheism, or something else.
I love this video! I'm a Christian, and my mental health makes it difficult to engage with my church. Just like you, I feel lost, but I'm trying, and I'm learning more and more about my personal relationship with God. Thank you for talking about this openly; it really brightened my day knowing there are other people just like me in this regard.
I love your honesty! It never feels like your putting on a persona like some other youtubers who seem like their just pretending Happy and chirpy all the time. Keep doing what you do!
Thanks Beckie, this really resonated with me. I had a rough patch and everything was just black and at the time I still went to social gatherings at my church though rarely went to the service on Sunday. With the whole house move I was free on one Saturday morning and just went to the coffee morning the day after I decided to go to church. Thanks for sharing your story. Your bible is a bit like mine maybe mine is more scruffy though as you said least it shows you been using it and it's well loved.
This video definitely spoke to me. I went through a similar situation. And I also used to attend new wine. In fact I was a worship leader in one of the bands for the 5-7 year old Ground breaker groups. It's a fond memory but also a confused one. I've shut it out and rejected it but there is a big part of me that wonders if I could ever re connect. Basically what I'm saying is - i understand your confusion ! But you must do what your heart tells you. Mine doesn't want to re visit it but I'll never say never to it :)
A similar thing happened to me. I "fell out" with God and Christianity because of depression and stuff, and then last year, i went to Soul Survivor Scotland, and I really felt God for the first time in a long time. I'm so happy for You, returning to Christ, and I hope you stay with him/her. I really hope you do! I'll pray for You! ❤🕇
Hi Beckie (and whoever else it may concern),
I follow your blog every now and then and have just stumbled over your latest video. Very happy for you to hear that you are starting to reconnect to God.
I have been a Christian by decision for 20 years now, since I was 28. During this time I have come to see that my relationship to Jesus is exactly that - a very deep and personal relationship to a person who has been, is and will be with me before and after my life here on earth ends, not primarily to a set of religious rules to follow.
I do try to follow them, though, because I love being with him, but often have to admit my failure to him, too. Thanks be to him for being patient enough to help me through, also by giving me friends who also believe in him that way. They are the church one wishes for.
You are quite right: It’s a matter between you and him alone. So, do keep talking to him and asking him what steps to go next, listening to him speaking through the Bible and through circumstances. Ask other Christians, if in your church or elsewhere, about their journey and experiences, but be aware about people who try to squeeze you into any box, whether Christians or not.
That’s basically how I have spent my last years and they have been a great joy. I do not feel as lost as before, because I know that there is somebody (not just something) loving me out of this world.
That’s it, in a rather big nutshell. Here is a site that has greatly helped me to view God the way I do now: www.lifestream.org/. It is hosted by Wayne Jacobsen, one of the co-authors of The Shack.
Wishing and praying for you that you will find your way with Jesus,
Stephan Zander
P.S.: As I am posting this publically, I am willing to reply if replied to, but I will be on holiday for the next two weeks, so it may take a while. However, don’t hesitate to connect if you have questions.
P.P.S.: Compliments on many of the atheists commenting here! You have been very gracious in accepting the Christian view although it is not your own. That’s the way it should be like among human beings - and a great example for Christians, too.
Man, this resonated SO much! But I left because I'm gay, and my childhood church wouldn't be accepting of me...my future wife (if I'm lucky enough to find one) and our family. But my new church is amazing, so loving, so accepting, they're doing a lot to heal my heart and my faith. I've also found there's a meetup group for LBGT affirming Christians in my city :D
MattieOnTH-cam that's amazing :) I'm so happy your church is accepting and loving towards you. I hope that continues!
Thank you, it was actually a huge surprise to find haha because from the 'outside' it seems to be one of the more traditional anglican churches. For anyone who wants to find an LGBT Church, I looked at my city's annual Pride celebrations and which churches were going to be representing themselves at Pride, I also used a website which I currently can't find the link to, to find local churches that were supportive :)
Beckie your hair looks amazing!!😍😍
I have never related so much to anything. I was brought up in a Christian family and went to a church of England school. I was a rather proud Christian, but I lost all hope when I was 16 and my mental health went down the gutter. In the last two years I've been thinking more and more about my faith. My boyfriends family are very religious and I think that's part of the reason it's in the forefront of my mind, but I just don't know where I stand in regards to religion. I also have a lot of anxiety around churches... So even if I decide to go back it's gonna take a lot of mental energy and idk if I'm prepared for that... Thank you for making this video! It's nice to not feel alone x
I just want to say that I am happy for you for opening yourself up again to God and to us and I personally support you on this journey of sorts wherever it goes. Don't feel like you have to understand and remember everything at once; take your time. I would like to recommend a couple TH-cam channels that might help you. The first is the Bible Project, full of animated videos on the books of the Bible as well as videos on different themes of the Bible and on how to read the Bible. The second is Jon Jorgenson, who I have found recently. He speaks quite eloquently on various topics in the Bible and his videos have been very helpful for me.
Prayers that God will guide you, direct you, and keep you in the midst of what anyone says to try to sway you from this awesome path you have chosen to reinstate in your life! I believe God is truly reaching out to you in the midst of all you recently went through to show you that you are greatly greatly loved, cared for, and in better hands with Him in your life than without! Amen! I pray His precious Spirit will speak life back into your life and to assist you in all your perceptions of what religion is versus relationship... cuz that's what real Christianity is about: having an intimate and profound relationship with Jesus in all that you do with your life! I'm praying Becky, and remember that one day every knee will bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord!
this video makes me wanna cry, i’m not even a christian but i can feel you bcuz i had almost the same journey.
i was so angry and depressed the last four years, i hated everything in my life i was about to lose my faith but fortunately i didn’t.
and now i think i’m turning back to where i belonged, of course with some updates 😄❤️
Hi Beckie. The Lord showed me to this brother on TH-cam named Doug Perry. He is apart of Fellowship of the Martyrs or fotm1 as it is called on TH-cam. His videos have been a real blessing to my relationship with God. I felt like the Lord wanted me to tell you about him. Love you Beckie.
Poem, a sister from Ohio