Crucial Conversations Book Summary Clear your motives Are you focused on what your higher self wants or what you base self wants as you ask this you will feel like an allay not like an enemy What do I really want here ? .... I see why this might seem hypocritical for you thanks for bringing that up .. A challenge for us when we are in these crucial conversations When the stake are high and the emotions are high We steer away from our main purpose / goal When the adrenaline is flowing in the heat of the argument, and the amygdala is highjacked, instead of wanting the best for ourselves we want to just win and make others suffer We need to recognise that and step away from it When the amygdala is high jacked people do stupid things you simply can not get trough them. That't why you need to get them out of that state to reach the person. The key Question you want to ask yourself when you are in these difficult conversations What is the motive, what do I really want here ? ( this is the guiding principle) What is the highest purpose ? What does my Higher Self really want ? What do I want for myself ? What do I want for the other person ? What do I want overall for this relationship and all of us ? The key skill here is to be able to step away from the conversation and to be able to step above it and observe it To see the bigger picture When you ask these type of questions mentioned above The neural activity shifts from the Amygdala to the Prefrontal Cortex ( which is the executive part of the bran) Where you can think clearly and rationally Ask yourself these questions when you are in these challenging situation. so that you will find a way out and find a solution You need to train yourself to step away from the heated discussion to be able to see above it It is difficult thing to do, unless you train your mind ( get it under your control) The best way to get your mind under your control is Meditation (www.2000books.com/meditate) How to apply crucial Conversations in your life To resolve Crucial Confrontations Find the real shared purpose behind what the other person has in mind and the his / her strategies In any crucial conversation, you need to identify the crucial purpose As you dig deeper you will find the answers You need to dig deeper beyond the strategies Ask your self : Why am I doing this ? Why the other person is saying what they are saying ? As you dig deeper you will find the answers In the end of the day, we want the same thing, what is that thing in your case? Once you have identified the mutual purpose you can identify new strategies to fulfil that purpose Understanding that you both are working towards a mutual purpose is a Key So ask your self : Do we have the same big picture goals ? Do we have the same long term goals ? Am I trying to understand the other parties long term goals ? Do they actually trust my attention ? When you do that you will be able to find the mutual purpose and resolve these crucial conversations 3 EXTRA KEY IDEAS AT : 2000BOOKS WEBSITE
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Crucial Conversations Book Summary
Clear your motives
Are you focused on what your higher self wants or what you base self wants
as you ask this you will feel like an allay not like an enemy
What do I really want here ?
.... I see why this might seem hypocritical for you thanks for bringing that up ..
A challenge for us when we are in these crucial conversations
When the stake are high and the emotions are high
We steer away from our main purpose / goal
When the adrenaline is flowing in the heat of the argument,
and the amygdala is highjacked, instead of wanting the best for ourselves
we want to just win and make others suffer
We need to recognise that and step away from it
When the amygdala is high jacked people do stupid things
you simply can not get trough them.
That't why you need to get them out of that state to reach the person.
The key Question you want to ask yourself when you are in these difficult conversations
What is the motive, what do I really want here ? ( this is the guiding principle)
What is the highest purpose ?
What does my Higher Self really want ?
What do I want for myself ?
What do I want for the other person ?
What do I want overall for this relationship and all of us ?
The key skill here is to be able to step away
from the conversation and
to be able to step above it and observe it
To see the bigger picture
When you ask these type of questions mentioned above
The neural activity shifts from the Amygdala to the Prefrontal Cortex ( which is the executive part of the bran)
Where you can think clearly and rationally
Ask yourself these questions when you are in these challenging situation.
so that you will find a way out and find a solution
You need to train yourself to step away from the heated discussion to be able to see above it
It is difficult thing to do, unless you train your mind ( get it under your control)
The best way to get your mind under your control is Meditation (www.2000books.com/meditate)
How to apply crucial Conversations in your life
To resolve Crucial Confrontations
Find the real shared purpose behind what the other person has in mind and the his / her strategies
In any crucial conversation, you need to identify the crucial purpose
As you dig deeper you will find the answers
You need to dig deeper beyond the strategies
Ask your self :
Why am I doing this ?
Why the other person is saying what they are saying ?
As you dig deeper you will find the answers
In the end of the day, we want the same thing, what is that thing in your case?
Once you have identified the mutual purpose
you can identify new strategies
to fulfil that purpose
Understanding that you both are working towards a mutual purpose is a Key
So ask your self :
Do we have the same big picture goals ?
Do we have the same long term goals ?
Am I trying to understand the other parties long term goals ?
Do they actually trust my attention ?
When you do that you will be able to find the mutual purpose and resolve these crucial conversations
3 EXTRA KEY IDEAS AT : 2000BOOKS WEBSITE