I'm laying here, in tears, listening... and being overwhelmingly thankful, that after so many years..., someone puts into words, what or how... I once felt (and still can feel, as I reconnect). Dr. Mate's understanding reaches out a hand on my healing journey. THANK YOU!
It’s amazing how many of us his diagnosis of Rich touches. I was the same way. Sensitive with busy parents, not understood and now as an adult, lost in addiction.. fighting my way to sobriety and sanity once again.
My mother, while pregnant with me, was given electric shock treatment for depression and bipolar. She had had to come off her usual medication because that was known to be dangerous to the foetus (she had had two miscarriages before). She also experienced emotional trauma because her parents tried to take away her right to have a kid. I didn't know all this, but in my late twenties I developed a severe shaking disorder, often accompanied by all sorts of rather strong emotional outbursts or experiences. There is no literature on long term affects electric shock treatment, especially for foetus in pregnant mother, my heart goes out to all suffering from perhaps completely unknown trauma. I luckily found out this fact, and have successfully gotten better through tai chi, acupuncture and meditation, I think climbing as a sport helped a lot too .... The most beautiful interview, I'm so grateful for this man and his insight. I love at the end how he says it should be illegal to call someone an addict, but rather someone who is suffering and attempting to ease the suffering.
When he was asking Rich questions, I answered to myself and felt the emotions which came from my childhood. Dr Gabor has such understanding and compassion towards a person's pain. Such a beautiful human.
I find it almost unbearable that this has to be explained to people. And it hurts even more that an awfull lot of people never will know / hear / understand or even believe this. Thank you dr Gabor Maté ❤️🩹
It was through this conversation I was introduced to Rich Roll. I would implore anyone who’s life is affected by addiction to read ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts’. It has the power to change the way you view your own life and of those around you.
Thanks. I don’t think they mentioned what his book was called. A true conversation this was and not just a plug. So glad he’s doing rollbacks, because I’ve only been watching him, not listening. Though I only listen when I watch..
I have 6 great children i am so proud of ! They don’t even smoke cigarettes loving to me and always open they know I’m always there! Took care of my mom until the last moment
Holy crap. This interview is pointing me to why I do everything by myself. Why I get depressed, and feel bad about it. Why I try to help and fix everyone. Excellent talk.
Damn! I’m so glad that Rich had the courage to go that deep. That was one of the most profound therapeutic interventions I’ve listened to. Beautiful stuff!
I'm going through a rough time and I have heard countless gabor mate's podcast but this one is amazing. It's like Gabor was talking to me when questioning his host. Thanks you rich roll. You're helping me.
I thought I was impressed with Gabor on JRE and Tim Ferris…However, this is the best interview with him BY FAR. Jesus, this podcast hit home. I want to listen to this with my parents- to see how they feel in relation. We need to solve some trauma. Thank you rich-you opened up in a beautiful way, and it’s gonna help so many people- I subscribed :)
Gabor always holds good. This is so deeply helpful to my understanding, especially in conjunction with Alice Miller's insight into the child's need for an 'enlightened' (similar to the compassionate) witness, and Joseph Chilton Pearce's Heart Mind Matrix, regarding child brain development and how social trauma affects our potentials, especially through an impairment to nurturing.
I have Parkinsons disease, a disease wher dopamine no no longer function. Abuse, neglect, chronicstress, loneliness, addiction to food and ossessive behaviors, among others. For the last 30 years having read Alice Miller, "The drama of being a child", im aware of the parallelisms between my despair and suffering and my illness. Unfortunately after years of therapy i still carrying this core of unworthiness that i try to escape at all costs...
This is a wonderful needed topic. I like to share that when people deal with addiction we need to be very self aware of what we are dealing with because levels of hurt and trauma can really affect from one to another human being that is not in the same level and unaware It can hurt really bad like it hurt me !! Thanks God and healing the time coming afloat but someone else would of not endured it. Awareness and education are keys to a more balance society.
Best verbal presentation ever. The only enemy is a closed heart. What’s closing our hearts? And how do we open them? Time to Wise UP, America, and be the change we want to see. We got guts and courage and heart and know service. Time to focus in the right direction - Integrity, Inspiration, Introspection, Intuition - starting with ourselves. We can do this.
Wow, EYE OPENING! 👁👁 As I am listening to Rich, I sense he is more identified with his mother's trauma and protecting her than honoring his own childhood trauma. This is a sign of what I call 'child parenting' or overresponsibility--something I am very familiar with. I am also HSP, which in a child, we emotionally feel things we don't have adequate expression for, so regardless of our level of parentage, that alone can induce trauma. It is imperative that we learn to honor our experiences so that we can move beyond compartmentalization and into true soul integration.
Thanks for sharing this, when I was dying from addiction 20 years ago, my despair was total, I couldn’t relate with the outside world so I stared reading Dante’s inferno because It was the only relatable thing to me at the time.
I was listening to comedian Lewis Black relate the power of books when he said as a young man he thought the world was mad but all the aduits went about like things were normal, then he found and read "Slaughter House Five" and he knew then that others saw the world as he did and he was not alone. Be well. :)
Listening to this, it could have been my ex husbands life. He has struggled for yrs with addiction,relapse,recovery. Dr Mate makes so much sense. This relapse ended our marriage ,I guess he found validation at the gym, steroid use, porn addiction. With grace I would like to send this podcast to him. I won’t,it is no longer a hungry ghost I can handle. I still search for the knowledge to understand.. I did surrender this time to what is. In my own life I do the work to educate myself in many area. Waiting for your books to arrive. I humbly thank you.
@sandra.. You see your husband as the same way as i see any other homeless and drugs addicted people in the society. I always thought they were perfectly able to work and make a living and chose not to... So, my reaction to any of their pan-handling has been disgust and apathetic. But, now that I understand that substance abuse is related to childhood trauma, my viewing of them is more compassionate and humane.
@@nc01sadh I knew his trauma in childhood ( loosing a mother to cancer). I will say Dr Mate speaks to these traumas like no other. In every recovery program my ex was in no one ever got to his pain,shame,guilt. It is with great pain that I had to remove myself after 24 yrs.of marriage. He is also very narcissistic,grandiose, enlightened. Surrender was healing for me. I did have years that he recovered & at those times we did many good things. With grace I wish him all the best.
This conversation introduced me to Gabor Mate and changed my life from there. Along with the one Dr Mate did with Tim Ferris. It's a wonder how Dr Mate can, with like 3 questions, make you see how you're traumatized.
Omgoodness I am in tears . I was sexually abused at 5 years of age by stepfather. Later in life my mothers way of telling me to go upstairs was grabbing me by my hair in front of my friends for no reason!?when I was about 25 started using garbage ! I was and am very smart read n teach myself anything! Mom passed away 3 years ago she found out what happened to me when I was 34 but she never even spoke to me about anything I am 58 n still struggling
Struggle with depression and alcohol abuse. I feel severe pain. Thinks aren't quite right with me. Love to have Gabor as Therapist. Understanding is good but how do you get to healing. Love compassion for addiction.
A heart-warming, scientific, and down to earth interview! Vulnerability at such deep-level, is proof of inner strength! Thank you Dr Mate, thank you Rich! The world is a better place because you exist!
28:30 holy shit this conversation about sensitivity was beautiful. the quote about touch a burned shoulder because nerve endings are closer to the end... that really resonated with me. this helps give me some grace and compassion for myself over the last couple of years. thank you
I loved this episode! I actually think it is my favorite one so far, and I've been an ardent fan for over three years lol. Both Rich and Dr. Gabor Mate speak with clarity and intention, and adding the vulnerability in this exchange with the analysis of Rich's trauma just elevated this conversation. I was brought to tears by both of your words, as I couldn't help but think about my own trauma, as well as the suffering that others experience. Thank you for sharing your conversations with the world.
Dr. Gabor Mate’s approach to recovery provided more progress in two years than seeking of seventeen years prior, simply trying to understand why this happened ? how did I get here? How do I stop? I was such a good kid up till my senior year. Why? Well I finally have answers to questions that have are at me. Heck, I got a Bachelors Degree in Psychology trying to figure myself out - it didn’t work! Then… Dr. Mate’s approach to recovery was introduced in Malibu CA at a luxury rehab facility I admitted myself in which was the last of three rehabs I’d gone to that year. The therapist started at the beginning of my life, dissecting it all, and I became enlightened about so many questions I’d pondered for years. The emotions didn’t come then but they’re still coming out now and that was 11/24/20 it’s a positive thing! Why? - was the biggest query. I believe with this approach ppl may heal, everything America does to addicts, treats them, discards them as human beings, it’s sickening, ignorant & shameful putting it mildly. Massive change is critically important in this county concerning the addiction epidemic. I have lost count of how many friends have died from addiction. I’m a IV Meth/Heroin addict, who is a college graduate with two degrees, in a professional career, kind, love yoga, sentimental, loving, sensitive & empathetic woman that’s in excruciating pain due to the chains of addiction. ….All people will hear or remember in the previous statement about myself is I’m an IV addict! Suddenly my actions are questionable, people hide their purses, if anything goes wrong or something is missing I’m suspected immediately. I learned quickly to keep my suffering & battle my secret. My life, in entirety has only stolen a pack of gum when I was 17 on acid. I meant to do it too. I remember it vividly, somehow. Point is I don’t steal, I don’t engage in criminal activity (well America deems drugs criminal so I buy drugs) I don’t think like a criminal, I’m too sensitive & afraid of getting in trouble. When most people think of an IV user the image is nothing like what I do. No one would even know unless I tell them. Im not better than anybody that’s on the streets, after my husband overdosed I lost it and was on the streets too. I’m an addict depicted by false perceptions/stereotypes, with nothing else about me considered or even believed. It’s intensely lonely, despondent, anxiety ridden, a debilitating existence, it’s not living. I want to stop the cycle so desperately suicidal ideation is familiar. I’m tired. Using against my own will; so isolated, judged harshly. Bewildered by lack of support especially recently. My husband, my soulmate, my best friend and life partner who’d just got out of treatment center relapsed then died of an overdose. I watched him die in the hospital only 6mths ago spiraling me down to the pits of hell’s, hell. Still yet no support whatsoever even from my so-called Christian family only because him & I are addicts- - treated the same sober or not - labeled “bad” “sinners” for using drugs, like we we chose this life!?! I’ve suffered my entire adulthood from drug addiction starting when I was sixteen having.a sports injury & oral surgery which both gave me narcotic pain meds. Finally I found a solution to my loneliness, low self esteem, fear of ppl/social situations. Progressive in nature my using lead to my first attempt at sobriety going to rehabilitation at 22. My choice, no one made me, I simply knew that’s not how I wanted to live my life. My solution, drugs gave me wings to fly but eventually took away my sky. I’ve always went on my own to treatment (7 rehabs & countless detoxes) quiet desperation being my greatest motivator. Addiction is progressive, so cunning too; unaware, in full flight from reality. Veils of denial led me down a path I didn’t realize I was on or what was happening until my addiction was already deeply rooted. I’m 41 now, relapsed days ago (then flushed the rest, only to go get more the next day) I’m clean today attempting staying in the moment and distracting my mind. I’ve had years clean prior on account of my courageous attempts admitting myself in rehabilitation centers: 18mths, 2 1/2 years, 2yr 1mth & many months in between. My addiction is so subtle always returning without me even detecting the relapse is coming. Once I succumb it grips me stealing my real, rational nature, taking me to another visit in hell. Once there I’m baffled, HOW COULD THIS F#CKING HAPPEN AGAIN?!? puzzled how I’d forgotten the pain of my last run! Repeating that countless times in different approaches will sum up my entire adult life. Psychiatrist, church, exercising, yoga, other religions, constantly seeking, getting a Bachelors in Psychology to understand why I’m wrecking my health, studied numerous philosophy’s, etc then finally I discover Dr. Gabor Mate! Wow! Walking through hell for so long, I know my way around extensively. Cognizant now, Ive never attempted to heal my life long traumas especially as a child, even the trauma before I was born. I’ve never found the exit sign to my personal hell, suffering, & desperation. Long lasting & seeking I’m now in beginning stages of EMDR trauma therapy yet having no support system it’s on hold but I still meet to express my difficulties, I get to talk to someone bc I have no one (family, friends, no children) & it keeps me accountable. Gaining a greater understanding of myself due to Dr. Mate, as well as, a therapist in Malibu who approaches sessions concerning trauma. as Mate. The 12 step programs helped, rehabs helped, but it’s not long lasting for me personally. I’m still battling to stop & stay stopped. Thank you both for spreading this vital, influential information. My aspiration is to stay clean, disseminating & enlightening people about the truths of addiction by public speaking or whatever God’s will wants by using this knowledge. I must be well first, of course. The stereotype has kept me from telling anyone bc no one understands, judging my character, treated substantially different, especially at work when sober. I’ve even estranged from my family because my addiction offends them (NEVER stole or hurt them directly, no jail time, Im self supporting) yet supposedly I have too high level demons attached to me for the ministers to work with me. The ignorance of society is astounding furthermore the lack of empathy or compassion is brutal. Even a Christian therapist rejected me & I didn’t even use IV then, lol. Imagine how demonized I am now to her, smh! I admire Dr. Mate holding him in the highest regard, appreciating his life’s work for suffering addicts is astounding while also respecting him for his genius. I wish more than anything he reads this one day. Speaking to him, even one time may help me survive. Im getting older, all my people are dead, my hope of dying clean is fading. The key to unlock the chains of my addiction is lost and alone I’m hopeless in finding it. I can’t heal my sick brain, with my sick brain. Trust me I’ve tried I need help. If I use it becomes my death bed, no one knows or cares but me. Quite different if I had cancer but addiction like I’ve said is a gut wrenching lonely life. 🙏🙇 Namaste
You are not alone ❤️ I can absolutely relate to this comment I myself am also suffering alone because I’m an addict and every person who was supposed to love me unconditionally has turned their backs on me I’ve been begging for help but treated like I’m not a human being I myself also don’t steal have never done anything wrong other then being a drug addict I have never been so alone or felt so hopeless in my life I prey you find peace you are definitely not alone 🙏
I have, very very slowly read each and every line of your life experience description. when I read with so much attention, I use to produce pictures in my mind, kind of film. at the end, your last sentence.has very much surprised me. So many times came to my mind, being.addicted myself, cancer. always a thought, telling no one. cancer patients are respected, cared for, have visits when they are at hospital, at home. money, investigation.Nobody thinks or says they are guilty, or horrible people. Now I know a human had the same word: cancer. Such desperation. I wished I was dr. Gabor Maté. I would call you. Namasté.
I'm not sure what compelled me to read your response to podcast. Sorry to hear about your partner and how hard that must be. I did a year long training with Gabor and learned a lot even after 35 yrs of recovery. Sending you much love! You're worth it! ♥️🔥
First I thought this video hits close to home. Nah, it's a direct impact. Thank you so much for uploading Rich! you're helping me taking my life back in my own hands.
this is special! two people meet and talk from heart to heart and from mind to mind to connect and bond for a while... its like a gift that you make and get at the same time. i truely believe that is, what makes life worth living. at least that once was my own personal conclusion... dr mate is an outstanding person! he got to the very core of it. he speaks the truth! its not just an opinion or theory, its the truth that he speaks and its 100% on the point that i soak every word of your conversation. MASSIVE THANKS & MUCH LOVE ❤
Ohh Gabor, how you are lightening the unknown darkness, smoothly uncovering the truth.. i love your approach and i really admire this wisdom synthesed from all spiritual knowledge. i feel grateful 🙏🏽 loves and blessing ✨✨
My love life is being a perfect environment 😢😊for healing from my childhood lock of fulfillment. Together like they say “ misery loves company “ and yet it in relationships that we need to or can heal each other. ⭐️🙏💗🙏 yet along we need self to be in relationship.
This was beutiful. Among some of the best conversations with Dr Mate. Always get struck whenever Gabor turns his sight onto the guest that I feel as though he's adressing me and my childhood as well.
I laughed out loud when Gabor at minute 36:42 spoke, I immediately pictured Rocky Balboa talking and saying that phrase. By the way I'm re-listening to this episode because it meant so much to me so I'm not mocking here. Thank you Rich for having the courage to be vulnerable openly and Gabor too whom I follow is so open and vulnerable with his insecurities, he's such a gift, I would even love to be counseled by him as I'm all grown up and still so scared and insecure. Thank you Rich for your work, 🌿🙏
Loved the episode man, i think you should have another sit down with him addresing today issues and how to navigate through recovery in these critical times. Thanks for sharing. ✌️
THIS was good. Already purchased his book before finishing. I think we need a fresh update with him. Especially concerning the world events and how many more people are stuck in addictions and depressions, having been negatively impacted by the pandemic response both globally and locally.
I totally agree with you. I’d love to purchase all four of his books. If I can’t buy them yet maybe the library would have his older books. The book that you purchased was written with Gabor and his oldest son. I’m sure it is Excellent.
I’d love to see an episode where the mind and body are addressed as opponents of “well being”. The demands of these two are why addiction is such an epidemic.
Very interesting show! I'm compassionate, but what is a spouse to do about an alcoholic who flat out refuses to stop drinking? The destruction caused by alcolohism is almost impossible to live with.
To parapharase Gabor: Rational choice: I love you very much but what you are doing causes me so much pain I can’t be with you and leave him. Another rational choice is: I love you very much and I understand that what you are doing comes out of your pain and this is the only way you have found to deal with your pain, so I am not going to judge you or try to change you or cajole you, I just hope you come to your senses at some point but I will be supporting you emotionally. What is completely irrational is to stay with somebody and try to change them.
@@clarktrask7849 , nice comment. Totally agree. I have listened to Dr Maté for many years now, and he has helped me understand that my dysfunctions were coping mechanisms for traumatic experiences in childhood, even though I had parents who loved me. I have learned to go inside myself to reconnect with long-buried emotions that caused my decades-long depression. This process has brought a lot of tears and grief, but also compassion for myself. I am finally becoming whole and letting go of the fears, anxiety, sadness and addictions that have dominated most of my life. I’m eternallythankful to have found Dr Maté’s work!
Hi from Turkey. Thank you for this sincere truthful conversation. I love you both. I feel you represent all the beauty and perhaps, the meaning, in being human. You give me hope in that we, as a species, may not be a form of virus destroying earth, but intrinsically we are love-full and empathic, and may in time overcome acting like a disease. Fingers crossed 😀
I love this podcast. Can you do one on drug psychosis, I never even know what it was. More recovery chairs too.. I would really appreciate this. Your helping so many people from addiction and disease xx
Because it's being steered .. education etc. DISASSOCIATION is what we all do!! Literally.. it's just truth. Feeding addiction. Is on purpose. Then scapegoating easily because of community help disassociating behavior , or part being played throughout the spectrum. Because of being influenced to be rejecting self. It is something from way back, and carried through to NOW. PERIOD!!!
Fantastic podcast and I can’t thank you both enough for sharing. I agree with most but with due respect, I find it difficult to agree all addictions have only one source that’s child trauma. I am leaning towards more holistic notion of Dr Lembke’s dopamine nation. I am a recovering addict myself if that helps. If we can master the art of using the brain to our advantage then addiction is a choice.
Great discussion about addiction So attacking our society. Like Dr Gabor talks about as an outlet of so much distress and lock off peace love nature God Faith Family The normal state that God meant for us all ?!! Are natives better than what experience in this busy world ?! My addiction is shoes Buying to calm my lock of my heart being not filled of who I love very much. He triggers my abandonment issues from being from a divorse family Enviromental. ❤️🙏🕊☀️🎉. I say the answers are in the Bible Jesus⭐️loves us all unconditionally ❤
I am a fan of Dr. Mate, and appreciate your sharing this wonderful podcast with us. Great subject and perspectives. I learn with every episode, and look forward to learning more.
Ekhart Tolle never suffered a day in his life. His enlightement experience was realizing that there's a sucker born every minute and that he can sell books to them.
It is mentioned in the Holy Quran "And We have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents". Most parents are not aware of their own traumas. If they have known better, they would have raised us better. They raised us to the best of their knowledge and awareness. It is our responsibility to detach as we grow to find ourselves in the order of creation.
Eckhart Tolle charges in the thousands of dollars for some of his online content and he has made the "Rich List", so I don't believe he is above looking at how he is doing on Best Sellers' lists.
I usedcto be a book buying addict. My joke was that even with my huge nose I couldn't shove too many books up my nose. Now I think I'm a download addict. I save more TH-cam videos and podcasts than I could ever use.
We do not always simply project self judgment onto others. Often we may. Sometimes we resent addicts for how they treat others. I’m careful with this sort of notion-as it has been used to blame shift where it is unwarranted. If I resent home burglars does that mean I’m a home burglar? Every single situation is unique. Just a caveat otherwise great work here.
We don’t control mind and body. If we did, would the body not comfort us and the mind be sound? Fact is, neither provide for anything that even remotely provides for “well being”. It’s no wonder we’re all half nuts! Addiction is a residual effect of these facts.
After hearing this conversation and relating a lot, I would really love to hear more of you and some person that is good in that area, how do you face your default state daily? How did you face it at the beginning when you didn't yet have your partner and family and current business? I have the same feelings and default state and find it hard to debate this with fellow people as their default state is not like mine.
I'm laying here, in tears, listening... and being overwhelmingly thankful, that after so many years..., someone puts into words, what or how... I once felt (and still can feel, as I reconnect). Dr. Mate's understanding reaches out a hand on my healing journey.
THANK YOU!
It’s amazing how many of us his diagnosis of Rich touches. I was the same way. Sensitive with busy parents, not understood and now as an adult, lost in addiction.. fighting my way to sobriety and sanity once again.
Anke, was that poetry? Very nice comment. Great flow whether intentional or not.
My mother, while pregnant with me, was given electric shock treatment for depression and bipolar. She had had to come off her usual medication because that was known to be dangerous to the foetus (she had had two miscarriages before). She also experienced emotional trauma because her parents tried to take away her right to have a kid. I didn't know all this, but in my late twenties I developed a severe shaking disorder, often accompanied by all sorts of rather strong emotional outbursts or experiences. There is no literature on long term affects electric shock treatment, especially for foetus in pregnant mother, my heart goes out to all suffering from perhaps completely unknown trauma. I luckily found out this fact, and have successfully gotten better through tai chi, acupuncture and meditation, I think climbing as a sport helped a lot too
....
The most beautiful interview, I'm so grateful for this man and his insight. I love at the end how he says it should be illegal to call someone an addict, but rather someone who is suffering and attempting to ease the suffering.
When he was asking Rich questions, I answered to myself and felt the emotions which came from my childhood. Dr Gabor has such understanding and compassion towards a person's pain. Such a beautiful human.
I find it almost unbearable that this has to be explained to people.
And it hurts even more that an awfull lot of people never will know / hear / understand or even believe this.
Thank you dr Gabor Maté ❤️🩹
It was through this conversation I was introduced to Rich Roll. I would implore anyone who’s life is affected by addiction to read ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts’. It has the power to change the way you view your own life and of those around you.
Thanks. I don’t think they mentioned what his book was called. A true conversation this was and not just a plug.
So glad he’s doing rollbacks, because I’ve only been watching him, not listening. Though I only listen when I watch..
Dr. Gabor Mate wrote that book.
I have 6 great children i am so proud of ! They don’t even smoke cigarettes loving to me and always open they know I’m always there! Took care of my mom until the last moment
Holy crap. This interview is pointing me to why I do everything by myself. Why I get depressed, and feel bad about it. Why I try to help and fix everyone. Excellent talk.
Damn! I’m so glad that Rich had the courage to go that deep. That was one of the most profound therapeutic interventions I’ve listened to. Beautiful stuff!
100%. This was about as profound as it can get.
Addiction to me is finding ways to change the way I feel with negative consequences.gabor mate is the best of the universe
I'm going through a rough time and I have heard countless gabor mate's podcast but this one is amazing. It's like Gabor was talking to me when questioning his host. Thanks you rich roll. You're helping me.
Gabor’s interviews are those rare ones I cant listen on a higher speed. such a calm voice and soul curing
I thought I was impressed with Gabor on JRE and Tim Ferris…However, this is the best interview with him BY FAR. Jesus, this podcast hit home. I want to listen to this with my parents- to see how they feel in relation. We need to solve some trauma.
Thank you rich-you opened up in a beautiful way, and it’s gonna help so many people- I subscribed :)
Agree 100%. This was shorter, but so much deeper than any of the JRE, etc. conversations by a lot.
Gabor always holds good. This is so deeply helpful to my understanding, especially in conjunction with Alice Miller's insight into the child's need for an 'enlightened' (similar to the compassionate) witness, and Joseph Chilton Pearce's Heart Mind Matrix, regarding child brain development and how social trauma affects our potentials, especially through an impairment to nurturing.
I have Parkinsons disease, a disease wher dopamine no no longer function. Abuse, neglect, chronicstress, loneliness, addiction to food and ossessive behaviors, among others. For the last 30 years having read Alice Miller, "The drama of being a child", im aware of the parallelisms between my despair and suffering and my illness. Unfortunately after years of therapy i still carrying this core of unworthiness that i try to escape at all costs...
This is a wonderful needed topic. I like to share that when people deal with addiction we need to be very self aware of what we are dealing with because levels of hurt and trauma can really affect from one to another human being that is not in the same level and unaware It can hurt really bad like it hurt me !! Thanks God and healing the time coming afloat but someone else would of not endured it. Awareness and education are keys to a more balance society.
Best verbal presentation ever. The only enemy is a closed heart. What’s closing our hearts? And how do we open them? Time to Wise UP, America, and be the change we want to see. We got guts and courage and heart and know service. Time to focus in the right direction - Integrity, Inspiration, Introspection, Intuition - starting with ourselves. We can do this.
Wow, EYE OPENING! 👁👁 As I am listening to Rich, I sense he is more identified with his mother's trauma and protecting her than honoring his own childhood trauma. This is a sign of what I call 'child parenting' or overresponsibility--something I am very familiar with. I am also HSP, which in a child, we emotionally feel things we don't have adequate expression for, so regardless of our level of parentage, that alone can induce trauma. It is imperative that we learn to honor our experiences so that we can move beyond compartmentalization and into true soul integration.
What is HSP. I was always this way. And still am as my world view grows to be global.. and it’s difficult. Can’t turn off the empathy…
@@richeyrich2203 Highly sensitive person
Thanks for sharing this, when I was dying from addiction 20 years ago, my despair was total, I couldn’t relate with the outside world so I stared reading Dante’s inferno because It was the only relatable thing to me at the time.
I was listening to comedian Lewis Black relate the power of books when he said as a young man he thought the world was mad but all the aduits went about like things were normal, then he found and read "Slaughter House Five" and he knew then that others saw the world as he did and he was not alone. Be well. :)
Listening to this, it could have been my ex husbands life. He has struggled for yrs with addiction,relapse,recovery. Dr Mate makes so much sense.
This relapse ended our marriage ,I guess he found validation at the gym, steroid use, porn addiction. With grace I would like to send this podcast to him.
I won’t,it is no longer a hungry ghost I can handle. I still search for the knowledge to understand.. I did surrender this time to what is.
In my own life I do the work to educate myself in many area. Waiting for your books to arrive. I humbly thank you.
@sandra.. You see your husband as the same way as i see any other homeless and drugs addicted people in the society. I always thought they were perfectly able to work and make a living and chose not to... So, my reaction to any of their pan-handling has been disgust and apathetic. But, now that I understand that substance abuse is related to childhood trauma, my viewing of them is more compassionate and humane.
@@nc01sadh I knew his trauma in childhood ( loosing a mother to cancer). I will say Dr Mate speaks to these traumas like no other.
In every recovery program my ex was in no one ever got to his pain,shame,guilt. It is with great pain that I had to remove myself after 24 yrs.of marriage.
He is also very narcissistic,grandiose, enlightened. Surrender was healing for me. I did have years that he recovered & at those times we did many good things.
With grace I wish him all the best.
This conversation introduced me to Gabor Mate and changed my life from there. Along with the one Dr Mate did with Tim Ferris. It's a wonder how Dr Mate can, with like 3 questions, make you see how you're traumatized.
Oh man.. I send the Tim Ferriss episode with Gabor to my friends more than any other pod episode. It's so good 👌
All my love, respect and admiration to Dr Gabo🙏🏻❤️🌱✨
Thank you Dr. Gabo for helping me along my healing journey. I appreciate your thoughts
Just....incredible. Changing the conversation, changing the words themselves, just really adjusts perspective. Dr. Mate is amazing. Thanks, Rich.
Omgoodness I am in tears . I was sexually abused at 5 years of age by stepfather. Later in life my mothers way of telling me to go upstairs was grabbing me by my hair in front of my friends for no reason!?when I was about 25 started using garbage ! I was and am very smart read n teach myself anything! Mom passed away 3 years ago she found out what happened to me when I was 34 but she never even spoke to me about anything I am 58 n still struggling
Struggle with depression and alcohol abuse. I feel severe pain. Thinks aren't quite right with me. Love to have Gabor as Therapist. Understanding is good but how do you get to healing. Love compassion for addiction.
A heart-warming, scientific, and down to earth interview! Vulnerability at such deep-level, is proof of inner strength! Thank you Dr Mate, thank you Rich! The world is a better place because you exist!
28:30 holy shit this conversation about sensitivity was beautiful. the quote about touch a burned shoulder because nerve endings are closer to the end... that really resonated with me. this helps give me some grace and compassion for myself over the last couple of years. thank you
One of the best episodes. Gabor Mate is other worldly yet has such a vast ocean of wisdom about humans.
He is one of my favorites. Never get tired to listen to him.
I loved this episode! I actually think it is my favorite one so far, and I've been an ardent fan for over three years lol. Both Rich and Dr. Gabor Mate speak with clarity and intention, and adding the vulnerability in this exchange with the analysis of Rich's trauma just elevated this conversation. I was brought to tears by both of your words, as I couldn't help but think about my own trauma, as well as the suffering that others experience. Thank you for sharing your conversations with the world.
Dr. Gabor Mate’s approach to recovery provided more progress in
two years than seeking of seventeen years prior, simply trying to understand why this happened ? how did I get here? How do I stop? I was such a good kid up till my senior year. Why? Well I finally have answers to questions that have are at me. Heck, I got a Bachelors Degree in Psychology trying to figure myself out - it didn’t work! Then…
Dr. Mate’s approach to recovery was introduced in Malibu CA at a luxury rehab facility I admitted myself in which was the last of three rehabs I’d gone to that year. The therapist started at the beginning of my life, dissecting it all, and I became enlightened about so many questions I’d pondered for years. The emotions didn’t come then but they’re still coming out now and that was 11/24/20 it’s a positive thing!
Why? - was the biggest query. I believe with this approach ppl may heal, everything America does to addicts, treats them, discards them as human beings, it’s sickening, ignorant & shameful putting it mildly.
Massive change is critically important in this county concerning the addiction epidemic. I have lost count of how many friends have died from addiction. I’m a IV Meth/Heroin addict, who is a college graduate with two degrees, in a professional career, kind, love yoga, sentimental, loving, sensitive & empathetic woman that’s in excruciating pain due to the chains of addiction. ….All people will hear or remember in the previous statement about myself is I’m an IV addict! Suddenly my actions are questionable, people hide their purses, if anything goes wrong or something is missing I’m suspected immediately. I learned quickly to keep my suffering & battle my secret. My life, in entirety has only stolen a pack of gum when I was 17 on acid. I meant to do it too. I remember it vividly, somehow. Point is I don’t steal, I don’t engage in criminal activity (well America deems drugs criminal so I buy drugs) I don’t think like a criminal, I’m too sensitive & afraid of getting in trouble. When most people think of an IV user the image is nothing like what I do. No one would even know unless I tell them. Im not better than anybody that’s on the streets, after my husband overdosed I lost it and was on the streets too. I’m an addict depicted by false perceptions/stereotypes, with nothing else about me considered or even believed. It’s intensely lonely, despondent, anxiety ridden, a debilitating existence, it’s not living. I want to stop the cycle so desperately suicidal ideation is familiar. I’m tired. Using against my own will; so isolated, judged harshly. Bewildered by lack of support especially recently. My husband, my soulmate, my best friend and life partner who’d just got out of treatment center relapsed then died of an overdose. I watched him die in the hospital only 6mths ago spiraling me down to the pits of hell’s, hell. Still yet no support whatsoever even from my so-called Christian family only because him & I are addicts- - treated the same sober or not - labeled “bad” “sinners” for using drugs, like we we chose this life!?!
I’ve suffered my entire adulthood from drug addiction starting when I was sixteen having.a sports injury & oral surgery which both gave me narcotic pain meds. Finally I found a solution to my loneliness, low self esteem, fear of ppl/social situations. Progressive in nature my using lead to my first attempt at sobriety going to rehabilitation at 22. My choice, no one made me, I simply knew that’s not how I wanted to live my life. My solution, drugs gave me wings to fly but eventually took away my sky. I’ve always went on my own to treatment (7 rehabs & countless detoxes) quiet desperation being my greatest motivator. Addiction is progressive, so cunning too; unaware, in full flight from reality. Veils of denial led me down a path I didn’t realize I was on or what was happening until my addiction was already deeply rooted. I’m 41 now, relapsed days ago (then flushed the rest, only to go get more the next day) I’m clean today attempting staying in the moment and distracting my mind. I’ve had years clean prior on account of my courageous attempts admitting myself in rehabilitation centers: 18mths, 2 1/2 years, 2yr 1mth & many months in between. My addiction is so subtle always returning without me even detecting the relapse is coming. Once I succumb it grips me stealing my real, rational nature, taking me to another visit in hell. Once there I’m baffled, HOW COULD THIS F#CKING HAPPEN AGAIN?!? puzzled how I’d forgotten the pain of my last run! Repeating that countless times in different approaches will sum up my entire adult life. Psychiatrist, church, exercising, yoga, other religions, constantly seeking, getting a Bachelors in Psychology to understand why I’m wrecking my health, studied numerous philosophy’s, etc then finally I discover Dr. Gabor Mate! Wow! Walking through hell for so long, I know my way around extensively. Cognizant now, Ive never attempted to heal my life long traumas especially as a child, even the trauma before I was born. I’ve never found the exit sign to my personal hell, suffering, & desperation. Long lasting & seeking I’m now in beginning stages of EMDR trauma therapy yet having no support system it’s on hold but I still meet to express my difficulties, I get to talk to someone bc I have no one (family, friends, no children) & it keeps me accountable. Gaining a greater understanding of myself due to Dr. Mate, as well as, a therapist in Malibu who approaches sessions concerning trauma. as Mate. The 12 step programs helped, rehabs helped, but it’s not long lasting for me personally. I’m still battling to stop & stay stopped. Thank you both for spreading this vital, influential information. My aspiration is to stay clean, disseminating & enlightening people about the truths of addiction by public speaking or whatever God’s will wants by using this knowledge. I must be well first, of course. The stereotype has kept me from telling anyone bc no one understands, judging my character, treated substantially different, especially at work when sober. I’ve even estranged from my family because my addiction offends them (NEVER stole or hurt them directly, no jail time, Im self supporting) yet supposedly I have too high level demons attached to me for the ministers to work with me. The ignorance of society is astounding furthermore the lack of empathy or compassion is brutal. Even a Christian therapist rejected me & I didn’t even use IV then, lol. Imagine how demonized I am now to her, smh!
I admire Dr. Mate holding him in the highest regard, appreciating his life’s work for suffering addicts is astounding while also respecting him for his genius. I wish more than anything he reads this one day. Speaking to him, even one time may help me survive. Im getting older, all my people are dead, my hope of dying clean is fading. The key to unlock the chains of my addiction is lost and alone I’m hopeless in finding it. I can’t heal my sick brain, with my sick brain. Trust me I’ve tried I need help. If I use it becomes my death bed, no one knows or cares but me. Quite different if I had cancer but addiction like I’ve said is a gut wrenching lonely life.
🙏🙇 Namaste
You are not alone ❤️ I can absolutely relate to this comment I myself am also suffering alone because I’m an addict and every person who was supposed to love me unconditionally has turned their backs on me I’ve been begging for help but treated like I’m not a human being I myself also don’t steal have never done anything wrong other then being a drug addict I have never been so alone or felt so hopeless in my life I prey you find peace you are definitely not alone 🙏
I have, very very slowly read each and every line of your life experience description. when I read with so much attention, I use to produce pictures in my mind, kind of film.
at the end, your last sentence.has very much surprised me. So many times came to my mind, being.addicted myself, cancer. always a thought, telling no one. cancer patients are respected, cared for, have visits when they are at hospital, at home. money, investigation.Nobody thinks or says they are guilty, or horrible people.
Now I know a human had the same word: cancer. Such desperation.
I wished I was dr. Gabor Maté. I would call you.
Namasté.
I'm not sure what compelled me to read your response to podcast. Sorry to hear about your partner and how hard that must be. I did a year long training with Gabor and learned a lot even after 35 yrs of recovery. Sending you much love! You're worth it!
♥️🔥
First I thought this video hits close to home.
Nah, it's a direct impact.
Thank you so much for uploading Rich!
you're helping me taking my life back in my own hands.
Thankyou Billy and to all the dedicated members of figu who work tirelessly for the betterment and evolution of mankind .
Salome ♡
this is special! two people meet and talk from heart to heart and from mind to mind to connect and bond for a while...
its like a gift that you make and get at the same time.
i truely believe that is, what makes life worth living. at least that once was my own personal conclusion...
dr mate is an outstanding person! he got to the very core of it. he speaks the truth! its not just an opinion or theory, its the truth that he speaks and its 100% on the point that i soak every word of your conversation.
MASSIVE THANKS & MUCH LOVE ❤
Ohh Gabor, how you are lightening the unknown darkness, smoothly uncovering the truth.. i love your approach and i really admire this wisdom synthesed from all spiritual knowledge. i feel grateful 🙏🏽 loves and blessing ✨✨
My love life is being a perfect environment 😢😊for healing from my childhood lock of fulfillment. Together like they say “ misery loves company “ and yet it in relationships that we need to or can heal each other. ⭐️🙏💗🙏 yet along we need self to be in relationship.
This was beutiful. Among some of the best conversations with Dr Mate. Always get struck whenever Gabor turns his sight onto the guest that I feel as though he's adressing me and my childhood as well.
I laughed out loud when Gabor at minute 36:42 spoke, I immediately pictured Rocky Balboa talking and saying that phrase. By the way I'm re-listening to this episode because it meant so much to me so I'm not mocking here. Thank you Rich for having the courage to be vulnerable openly and Gabor too whom I follow is so open and vulnerable with his insecurities, he's such a gift, I would even love to be counseled by him as I'm all grown up and still so scared and insecure. Thank you Rich for your work, 🌿🙏
Food addiction over here. Searching 😢. Thank you 🙏
showing up in the dark as always miracle of ours
Loved the episode man, i think you should have another sit down with him addresing today issues and how to navigate through recovery in these critical times. Thanks for sharing. ✌️
Dr. Mate 71 it's amazing how much young you look, good luck with everything, rosario from Palermo Sicily 💪🏻
He's 78 - this podcast is a few yrs old
This is BEYOND AMAZING. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
THIS was good. Already purchased his book before finishing.
I think we need a fresh update with him. Especially concerning the world events and how many more people are stuck in addictions and depressions, having been negatively impacted by the pandemic response both globally and locally.
I totally agree with you. I’d love to purchase all four of his books. If I can’t buy them yet maybe the library would have his older books. The book that you purchased was written with Gabor and his oldest son. I’m sure it is Excellent.
I’d love to see an episode where the mind and body are addressed as opponents of “well being”. The demands of these two are why addiction is such an epidemic.
Today’s episode is, needed. Thanks, Rich. Happy Thursday
Very interesting show! I'm compassionate, but what is a spouse to do about an alcoholic who flat out refuses to stop drinking? The destruction caused by alcolohism is almost impossible to live with.
To parapharase Gabor: Rational choice: I love you very much but what you are doing causes me so much pain I can’t be with you and leave him. Another rational choice is: I love you very much and I understand that what you are doing comes out of your pain and this is the only way you have found to deal with your pain, so I am not going to judge you or try to change you or cajole you, I just hope you come to your senses at some point but I will be supporting you emotionally. What is completely irrational is to stay with somebody and try to change them.
@@clarktrask7849 It’s impossible to change people. People must change themselves.
Detachment or Go . 2 choices .
@@clarktrask7849 , nice comment. Totally agree.
I have listened to Dr Maté for many years now, and he has helped me understand that my dysfunctions were coping mechanisms for traumatic experiences in childhood, even though I had parents who loved me. I have learned to go inside myself to reconnect with long-buried emotions that caused my decades-long depression. This process has brought a lot of tears and grief, but also compassion for myself. I am finally becoming whole and letting go of the fears, anxiety, sadness and addictions that have dominated most of my life. I’m eternallythankful to have found Dr Maté’s work!
Leave. Save yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing this.Direct hit, not abused but ignored and am battling everyday since.
Hi from Turkey. Thank you for this sincere truthful conversation. I love you both. I feel you represent all the beauty and perhaps, the meaning, in being human. You give me hope in that we, as a species, may not be a form of virus destroying earth, but intrinsically we are love-full and empathic, and may in time overcome acting like a disease. Fingers crossed 😀
I've been dooing this for 25 years, I'd love to talk to him and persuade him to think otherwise as to punishment etc.
> think otherwise as to punishment etc.
???
Dignity to the pain and suffering...thank you for this Dr mate🎉🎉.🎉
I love this podcast. Can you do one on drug psychosis, I never even know what it was. More recovery chairs too.. I would really appreciate this. Your helping so many people from addiction and disease xx
Wow!!!!! That was amazing. Thank you so much Rich. I really appreciate you and your openness.
Holy shit.. that was AMAZING.. felt like I was on the couch & being analyzed. Very brave of you Rich Roll.. Wow.. two very unique men
Because it's being steered .. education etc. DISASSOCIATION is what we all do!! Literally.. it's just truth. Feeding addiction. Is on purpose. Then scapegoating easily because of community help disassociating behavior , or part being played throughout the spectrum. Because of being influenced to be rejecting self. It is something from way back, and carried through to NOW. PERIOD!!!
Fantastic podcast and I can’t thank you both enough for sharing. I agree with most but with due respect, I find it difficult to agree all addictions have only one source that’s child trauma. I am leaning towards more holistic notion of Dr Lembke’s dopamine nation. I am a recovering addict myself if that helps. If we can master the art of using the brain to our advantage then addiction is a choice.
Thank you 🙏 I know what I what for Christmas now. Bring the books please Santa. I promise to do the work ..
Great discussion about addiction So attacking our society. Like Dr Gabor talks about as an outlet of so much distress and lock off peace love nature God Faith Family The normal state that God meant for us all ?!! Are natives better than what experience in this busy world ?! My addiction is shoes Buying to calm my lock of my heart being not filled of who I love very much. He triggers my abandonment issues from being from a divorse family Enviromental. ❤️🙏🕊☀️🎉. I say the answers are in the Bible Jesus⭐️loves us all unconditionally ❤
I am a fan of Dr. Mate, and appreciate your sharing this wonderful podcast with us. Great subject and perspectives. I learn with every episode, and look forward to learning more.
SO good. Dr Mate is my favourite voice on the subject, thanks. 🙏🏾
Köszönöm szépen Gábor! A legjobbkor, mint mindig. Nagyon sokat ad, itthon is nagyobb szükség van Önre, mint valaha. Thanks Rich a lot!
Hey Rich~Thanks for years of impactful podcasts. I had not heard this one and it was deeply meaningful and relatable.
I love the reframing of the word “addict”. Great podcast.
Thank you so much doctor. I love you .
Thank you both for sharing this marvelous conversation which will help so many people make sense of their established behaviors.
one of the most remarkable appearances on the pod. dr. gabor rules!
Such a brilliant mind. Loved this one. Very powerful. Thank you Rich.
Try bringing Eckhart Tolle to the Pod RR!!!! It would be soooooo awesomeeeee!!!!! Peace! Plants!!!
Thanks for this new series, Rollback. I am your target audience - total youtube head.
Amazing. With all my heart, thank you for uploading this here. 🙏💗
Ekhart Tolle never suffered a day in his life. His enlightement experience was realizing that there's a sucker born every minute and that he can sell books to them.
9 years of attentive listening, amazing.
It is mentioned in the Holy Quran "And We have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents". Most parents are not aware of their own traumas. If they have known better, they would have raised us better. They raised us to the best of their knowledge and awareness. It is our responsibility to detach as we grow to find ourselves in the order of creation.
Omg the monologue around min 45 was so intense. Great podcast as always
I love the interview
Gabor! ❤Gabor! 🎉 In the Realm of the Hungry Ghost! 🙇♀️
Eckhart Tolle charges in the thousands of dollars for some of his online content and he has made the "Rich List", so I don't believe he is above looking at how he is doing on Best Sellers' lists.
This is amazing. Thank you both.
I usedcto be a book buying addict.
My joke was that even with my huge nose I couldn't shove too many books up my nose.
Now I think I'm a download addict. I save more TH-cam videos and podcasts than I could ever use.
We do not always simply project self judgment onto others. Often we may. Sometimes we resent addicts for how they treat others. I’m careful with this sort of notion-as it has been used to blame shift where it is unwarranted. If I resent home burglars does that mean I’m a home burglar? Every single situation is unique. Just a caveat otherwise great work here.
gracia..el enfoque de empatia ( de daniel) añadido a la compasion...seria milagroso....mucha gratitud
always amazing 👏 ❤️ ✨️
Naturally the way Lord's had created 🙏
We don’t control mind and body. If we did, would the body not comfort us and the mind be sound? Fact is, neither provide for anything that even remotely provides for “well being”. It’s no wonder we’re all half nuts!
Addiction is a residual effect of these facts.
Amazing podcast!
Very helpful 💯
51:22 😂well good luck with that 😂
After hearing this conversation and relating a lot, I would really love to hear more of you and some person that is good in that area, how do you face your default state daily?
How did you face it at the beginning when you didn't yet have your partner and family and current business? I have the same feelings and default state and find it hard to debate this with fellow people as their default state is not like mine.
Addiction is a choice because you chose not to do your homework before trying drugs. "Chose" not to find out how drugs affect your brain.
I pray your kids or loved ones don’t make what you so cleverly call ‘a choice’
Dont be so ignorant
Great conversation
Amazing interview!
Rich seems to hide his true self behind florid language
thank you
As always very helpful and insiteful. Love you both 🤗🫂☃️
Thank you so much for sharing this, it's such an inspiration and comfort.
Descrubri tu potcast y me tiene adicto, saludos desde Venezuela
Thanks for this
Loved this episode. So insightful!!
People self medicate … the end
If addiction is not a choice, how are people that suffers from it get out from it?