Shame and negative core beliefs were my reality for more than 60 years. I started my recovery from complex PTSD at the age of 20 in 1980, and did much psychotherapy addressing these and the problematic behaviors they spawned over the next 40 years. I don't want to make it sound like I made no changes over those years. I did. My external life changed drastically. And my internal life not so much. But EMDR finally addressed the "core" problem for me in a way that removed the shame and replace the negative core beliefs with positive ones. I'm still me. I still have an imperfect life. And I'm still imperfect. But I no longer feel my essential being is defective. I cannot emphasize enough how much impact EMDR had over about 6 months of treatment. I was skeptical. But it has offered me miraculous relief. I used information on your website to evaluate whether EMDR was for worth a shot. So thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience with EMDR. I am 68 and just starting to look into it and other similar healing modalities. Of course my inner shame immediately started telling me all the reasons I shouldn't. You and Barbara have both encouraged me to at least try it.
So many people believe this! I think it is just the opposite! (I think I talk about this in my Inner Critic vs inner Coach video!). Hope this is helpful!
I just found your Podcast... recommended by one of my nephews. I am 68 and need your wisdom, encouragement and direction in so many ways. Not surprising that this would be the first videos my inner self would pick to listen to. No doubt it is my family inheritance. 😣. t@@BarbaraHeffernan
@@BarbaraHeffernan I just found your Podcast... recommended by one of my nephews. I am 68 and need your wisdom, encouragement and direction in so many ways. Not surprising that this would be the first videos my inner self would pick to listen to. No doubt it is my family inheritance. 😣. t@BarbaraHeffernan
Thank you for this great material ❤ I really need to dismantle shame it’s just so distressing when I confront it. I dissociate a lot but I think I’m getting better at tolerance. It’s just my subconscious is so good at shutting down my feelings when I get triggered it just manifests mostly as depression or anxiety but when I hit a good shame trigger it can take me out for days!
Yes... I understand. For some people with dissociation, practicing grounding techniques regularly is helpful: This is a video I have on it, but there are many others... th-cam.com/video/5r_79JSHvoQ/w-d-xo.html
raised from italian mother and father from italy my dad always said to me and my brothers and sister that we were good for nothing cause we were not lawers or drs or engineers etc
Hello. Thanks Barbera for sharing your expertise and experiences through these videos. I look forward to them every week. For this video I was hoping for a more detailed discussion around shame and it’s origins and it’s link to negative core beliefs. However I thought that part to be missing and there was more of discussion around EMDR which is also important I understand but I was hoping for more discussion around origins of shame Also I think the source of shame is not only in relationships but also from media and society. For instance body shaming comes a lot from media and society. . Can you share a video on sources of shame or what can cause shame . .
Hi Anika: Thanks for your feedback! That could be a good topic for another video. Also, you might have found the next one I did on shame more relevant for you:th-cam.com/video/o3nTBPMViQY/w-d-xo.html Also, I totally agree that it can also come from society (I think I mention that somewhere... !). Wishing you the best!
It was something the child had to surrender to survive a chaotic childhood. The shame was never the child's. It was his parents who just carried it down from his ancestry. When you look at the big picture and no the truth it will set you free. Chuck
Thank you for verbalizing your correct thoughts and experience with the reality of inherited shame. So true! And what a strong inheritance it can be. 😢. Best wishes to us all for deliverance. ❤
@@briobarb8525 Just wanted to respond to my experiences with EMDR. Unfortunately, it had no impact on my issues. It may work for some people, but not me! Thanks for sharing!
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?
1:30 I had never heard the difference between shame and guilt explained so plainly and simply until now
Shame and negative core beliefs were my reality for more than 60 years. I started my recovery from complex PTSD at the age of 20 in 1980, and did much psychotherapy addressing these and the problematic behaviors they spawned over the next 40 years. I don't want to make it sound like I made no changes over those years. I did. My external life changed drastically. And my internal life not so much.
But EMDR finally addressed the "core" problem for me in a way that removed the shame and replace the negative core beliefs with positive ones. I'm still me. I still have an imperfect life. And I'm still imperfect. But I no longer feel my essential being is defective. I cannot emphasize enough how much impact EMDR had over about 6 months of treatment. I was skeptical. But it has offered me miraculous relief.
I used information on your website to evaluate whether EMDR was for worth a shot. So thank you!
You are SO welcome, and I am so pleased to hear this!! Awesome! And thank you for sharing - I believe this can give others hope!
Thank you for sharing your experience with EMDR. I am 68 and just starting to look into it and other similar healing modalities. Of course my inner shame immediately started telling me all the reasons I shouldn't. You and Barbara have both encouraged me to at least try it.
Up till a month ago I thought self shame and guilt are the ONLY WAY to change, example being shaming myself into cleaning, ext
So many people believe this! I think it is just the opposite! (I think I talk about this in my Inner Critic vs inner Coach video!). Hope this is helpful!
I just found your Podcast... recommended by one of my nephews. I am 68 and need your wisdom, encouragement and direction in so many ways. Not surprising that this would be the first videos my inner self would pick to listen to. No doubt it is my family inheritance. 😣. t@@BarbaraHeffernan
@@BarbaraHeffernan I just found your Podcast... recommended by one of my nephews. I am 68 and need your wisdom, encouragement and direction in so many ways. Not surprising that this would be the first videos my inner self would pick to listen to. No doubt it is my family inheritance. 😣. t@BarbaraHeffernan
Thank you for this great material ❤ I really need to dismantle shame it’s just so distressing when I confront it. I dissociate a lot but I think I’m getting better at tolerance. It’s just my subconscious is so good at shutting down my feelings when I get triggered it just manifests mostly as depression or anxiety but when I hit a good shame trigger it can take me out for days!
Yes... I understand. For some people with dissociation, practicing grounding techniques regularly is helpful: This is a video I have on it, but there are many others...
th-cam.com/video/5r_79JSHvoQ/w-d-xo.html
Thank you so much, it so true what you are saying. Thank you for your kindness and helpful teaching!!! 😊💖☀️
raised from italian mother and father from italy my dad always said to me and my brothers and sister that we were good for nothing cause we were not lawers or drs or engineers etc
Hello. Thanks Barbera for sharing your expertise and experiences through these videos. I look forward to them every week. For this video I was hoping for a more detailed discussion around shame and it’s origins and it’s link to negative core beliefs. However I thought that part to be missing and there was more of discussion around EMDR which is also important I understand but I was hoping for more discussion around origins of shame
Also I think the source of shame is not only in relationships but also from media and society. For instance body shaming comes a lot from media and society. . Can you share a video on sources of shame or what can cause shame . .
Hi Anika: Thanks for your feedback! That could be a good topic for another video. Also, you might have found the next one I did on shame more relevant for you:th-cam.com/video/o3nTBPMViQY/w-d-xo.html
Also, I totally agree that it can also come from society (I think I mention that somewhere... !). Wishing you the best!
It was something the child had to surrender to survive a chaotic childhood. The shame was never the child's. It was his parents who just carried it down from his ancestry. When you look at the big picture and no the truth it will set you free. Chuck
Thank you for verbalizing your correct thoughts and experience with the reality of inherited shame. So true! And what a strong inheritance it can be. 😢. Best wishes to us all for deliverance. ❤
I'm doing shrooms it's like 2 years of therapy in one trip. Thanks for your videos very informative to heal baby 😘
Thank you for this video 😊
You are welcome! I hope it is helpful!
I will be starting EMDR in the near future. I am however skeptical. Hopefully, it will be beneficial. Chuck
Hope you follow up on your post to let us know what you think and how it worked for you. Best wishes. ❤
@@briobarb8525 Just wanted to respond to my experiences with EMDR. Unfortunately, it had no impact on my issues. It may work for some people, but not me! Thanks for sharing!
What do u do when you feel shame, not acceptable, good enough or bad?
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?
Can I give a little advice? I suffer from making shame about a certain topic. I think I have no value. I followed your explanation and tried to question and find a different belief, but I fail. I want a little advice. Why does the new belief fail?