We Tried an Open Marriage (It Didn’t Go Well)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2024
  • We Tried an Open Marriage (It Didn’t Go Well)
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ความคิดเห็น • 2.7K

  • @davidgerke7150
    @davidgerke7150 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6400

    If your partner so much as suggests that they want to sleep with other people, the proper response is, "You can sleep with whoever you want because you're single now."

    • @brandydejesus1675
      @brandydejesus1675 2 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      Love this.

    • @joea9222
      @joea9222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +238

      Yep, get the hell out while it's still early. Especially when no kids are involved!

    • @David-fw4ly
      @David-fw4ly 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s exactly what I did to my ex girlfriend. Once you find yourself dealing with a whore, kick them to the curb immediately.

    • @coryascott
      @coryascott 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @Jacob Rodriguez wow big strong guy here, super tough

    • @216trixie
      @216trixie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Jacob Rodriguez Dork

  • @Lankston101
    @Lankston101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3334

    Marriage is hard and we’re struggling. Let’s make it harder and improve our relationship by complicating it with more people.

    • @ahmorgan
      @ahmorgan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Lol exactly

    • @drawingdead9025
      @drawingdead9025 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      It's crazy thinking this could help, gotta be 1 time in 20 it doesn't lead to disaster.

    • @Joel-pg4yi
      @Joel-pg4yi ปีที่แล้ว +34

      She's crazy. He's even crazier with going through with this

    • @andrew8168
      @andrew8168 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@Joel-pg4yi hes not crazy, just weak. Hes for allowing it and weaker for staying.

    • @rapsack7058
      @rapsack7058 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Nah, the marrige is not struggling, most likely there is allready atleast emotional cheating not physical. WIth that the relationship is dead allready to a big part, the former relationship is terminated.

  • @AVG336
    @AVG336 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2586

    It's always funny when an open marriage backfires on the person that initiated it

    • @kensmith2796
      @kensmith2796 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      True. I'm glad this man got away from this self-centered woman.

    • @Dark_Souls_3
      @Dark_Souls_3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      It really does make me feel warm

    • @themoongateofficial
      @themoongateofficial ปีที่แล้ว +17

      It’s the way it always should be to

    • @midlifecrisis7888
      @midlifecrisis7888 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      She’s for the streets

    • @midlifecrisis7888
      @midlifecrisis7888 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      Like 90% of the time the woman initiates it. Because already has somebody in mind.

  • @tunkytunky
    @tunkytunky ปีที่แล้ว +1180

    If my husband even suggested it, I'd instantly lose all my love for him. It's such a slap in the face 😂

    • @mikeanderson4555
      @mikeanderson4555 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      Yeah nothing says i love you like saying i wanna sleep with other people.

    • @emilyslaton2100
      @emilyslaton2100 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Yeah my ex fiancé suggested this and I gave him back the ring, packed my bags and moved out. I was totally done.

    • @Iamhome365
      @Iamhome365 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      ​@emilyslaton2100 at least you weren't married

    • @kwadwog8168
      @kwadwog8168 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      What about your body your choice? Don't you deserve all the loving you can get in a life time?

    • @faithisindemand
      @faithisindemand 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ain’t no man gonna only use your useless ass

  • @gdavis2020
    @gdavis2020 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +92

    My son’s wife cheated on him for 6 months before he found out. Once he found out, she suggested an open relationship. He asked my advice and I suggest not doing such thing, and also to just separate and try to be the best father he can be to his children. That was a few months ago, now she wants him back once her affair partner dumped her to go work things with his wife. My son has decided on a divorce . He will not forgive or forget what happened and his wife thinks that’s selfish of him! She is such a selfish , egotistical woman and she will reap what she sowed sooner and later .

    • @thejakelegion
      @thejakelegion 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I'm very sorry that happened. I hope your son recovers and finds a better woman.

    • @bradrg
      @bradrg 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Happened to a family member of ours. It was a super dark time in his life, but he married again, and they ended up being such a great couple. Energy wise, your son would have felt that disconnect when he was with her, even if it was subconsciously. when he meets someone who really loves him, something will click in his mind and he will say, "Oh, wow, so this is what it should feel like..." BTW, that family member- years later, the first wife is an absolute train wreck. She has nothing and no one. Egotistical selfish people don't do well with others.

  • @amandadean3948
    @amandadean3948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2342

    I had a former coworker years ago try this. She was the one that initiated it too but her husband ended up leaving her for the other woman and they got married. She was devastated and said it was the worst decision she ever made. It was a little hard to feel sorry for her when she opened that Pandora’s box in her own marriage.

    • @carlaritchie331
      @carlaritchie331 2 ปีที่แล้ว +186

      Exactly. She invited that risk into her marriage by turning to another man instead of working on her marriage from the beginning. Her values were not with her husband and the vow she took. There are consequences to poor decisions.

    • @DannyD-lr5yg
      @DannyD-lr5yg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +189

      Aaaand that’s why people should never engage in polyamory 1) to fix a problem, or 2) by coercing or convincing the other person. Sounds like your coworker’s husband is still monogamous by nature, and she gave him permission to basically interview her own replacement 😬

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      this is typically how it ends when the wife basically forces a husband who is monogamous into this situation. This callers marriage is over. The husband doesn't look at her the same anymore, and now that he has realized he can replace her, its done. Very hard to get a man to change his feelings when he is just basically done. She is only calling in bc i have a feeling she knows this and realizes she blew up her marriage for a guy who was just using her (shocker no guy is going to take a married woman who wants to sleep with them serious).

    • @letsgetjackdup9952
      @letsgetjackdup9952 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Open marriages never work

    • @DannyD-lr5yg
      @DannyD-lr5yg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@letsgetjackdup9952
      First, that's just objectively false. I personally know many successful nonmonogamous couples; some have an open relationship, others are polyamorous - they figure out what works best for the people involved.
      Secondly, a huuuuge percentage of _monogamous_ marriages don't work out, either, so..
      But, thirdly, I think it'd be best for everyone - monogamous, and otherwise - if we started seeing relationship success in terms of things like: did we learn/grow alongside each other, are our lives both better for having been involved with each other, etc. While finding and maintaining a lifelong partner is the ideal/ultimate goal for most romantically-inclined people, I think we do ourselves a huge disservice by implying that JUST because a couple splits up, it means that relationship was a "waste" or a "failure."

  • @ithinkigottalent4047
    @ithinkigottalent4047 2 ปีที่แล้ว +878

    It's okay to be single. She thought she was missing something until she realized she wasn't. The grass is greener where you water it.

    • @jordyjustine
      @jordyjustine 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      She overlooks that SHE will be in that new fling which is why it won't turn out. She needs to fix her own delinquent mindset before she starts thinking it could ever work out with anyone.

    • @joyaustin6581
      @joyaustin6581 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      She realized the dating pool had pee in it.

    • @camxdidxthat
      @camxdidxthat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@joyaustin6581 hilarious

    • @suen5006
      @suen5006 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      No she's still missing something. Her husband isn't paying any attention to her. It takes two to make it work, and it's work.

    • @trishdiggins
      @trishdiggins 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The grass is greener over the septic tank, too

  • @ashleyb1091
    @ashleyb1091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +802

    She only cares about her self and her needs, then when you ask her about her husband she just says he is there. Divorce him, spare him and the damage you’ve done.

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      SURPRISE SURPRISE

    • @catherinep2034
      @catherinep2034 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      That's sad she doesn't even know how he feels. She wants to rebuild her marriage, but she doesn't even talk to him?

    • @abbyxiong3931
      @abbyxiong3931 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I get your point. She doesn't see being married to her husband as a union between man and woman. It's going to be hard moving forward. I hope they can both be happy.

    • @trent210
      @trent210 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Divorce is never the answer

    • @rapsack7058
      @rapsack7058 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      As the husband, and i get asked, my answer is go with your plans but i will also start the life of a single aswell. You obviously did alreay in your mind if you not already has been cheating. I would end the marriage/relationship right if i get asked. I may give her a a very very smal chance for reconsiliation, if i get the whole story and she is willing to do a lot of work on her self in the right direction.

  • @MamaDisco1313
    @MamaDisco1313 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +128

    My husband tried to pull this on me, and when I said no, he started cheating. He’s became my ex really quick.

    • @michellealjunaidi8471
      @michellealjunaidi8471 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You are better off without him.

    • @RearviewWisdom
      @RearviewWisdom 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Did you both communicate about WHY he wanted to open the marriage ? Did you both communicate about your sex life and if it was mutually pleasing ?

    • @MsLauraLove626
      @MsLauraLove626 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@RearviewWisdomyes cause it was obviously her fault 🙄

    • @jordanferguson2254
      @jordanferguson2254 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @RearviewWisdom, Why are people so obsessed with sex. My god. It's like the only thing they live for. Your reason to get in a marriage and stay in one seriously shouldn't be about sex.

    • @RearviewWisdom
      @RearviewWisdom 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@MsLauraLove626 I never said all that, I’m looking for context. You know, that thing they taught us in English class before drawing conclusions? 🙄.

  • @pandabear7177
    @pandabear7177 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    I've known 10-ish couples who chose an open marriage. Only 2 are still together. I think the only ones that "work" are those that realized it wouldn't save their relationship.
    If you are stepping out to "save" your relationship, your relationship is over.

    • @kwadwog8168
      @kwadwog8168 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Perhaps you can share the details that kept the two couples together so we can learn from them. Maybe you could even let us know the details if you have tried it with their direct support.

    • @MR.33133
      @MR.33133 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @@kwadwog8168 you don’t have to know because it’s a matter of time before everything falls apart

    • @elfascisto6549
      @elfascisto6549 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​​@@MR.33133what

    • @scott4825
      @scott4825 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I've seen a few that worked, and I think the main thing is that they aren't going outside the marriage to fix the marriage, but rather they believe that sex is just sex, or they feel that it is normal to romantically love more than one person. I don't agree with it, but its very different from cheating with permission from someone who is afraid of losing their wife.

    • @ludmilamaiolini6811
      @ludmilamaiolini6811 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah, when you really think about it logically, seeing other people is something that will strain the relationship. People have to make more effort to manage their feelings and to stay connected, and if they are already having issues, they probably won’t have the resources and commitment to do that

  • @toscadonna
    @toscadonna ปีที่แล้ว +1602

    It’s sickening that all of these married people are screwing up the dating pool. I’m sick to death of the married men who ask me out. You’re MARRIED! I do not want to be involved in adultery! Polyamory is NONSENSE. There is no love involved in cheating on your spouse and using single people who want to get married as emotional and physical tampons.

    • @courtneyfaithmis
      @courtneyfaithmis ปีที่แล้ว +141

      I was reading this so intently until I got to “tampons” and then I burst out laughing 😂 but you’re right, that is what it is

    • @williamdacosta9026
      @williamdacosta9026 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      I agree I had a woman ask me to be in an open relationship because her husband and her agreed to it well I did not say goodbye

    • @Chosen302
      @Chosen302 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Exactly. Here in San Diego it is rampant

    • @latulip100
      @latulip100 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg yes!! Couldn’t have put it better myself I am not a living breathing sex toy/therapist who has to listen to your marital problems. Sod right off!

    • @mynameisnobody3931
      @mynameisnobody3931 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Im also sick to death of all the married women asking me to come f them.
      My neighbor wanted me to comw f her while her hubby is away on the night shift.

  • @MarluART
    @MarluART 2 ปีที่แล้ว +728

    I can only imagine how hurt this guy felt when his wife said she wanted to openly cheat on him.

    • @Stantorr
      @Stantorr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      No kiddin... I yet have to read a single report of a man doing that to his wife and being applauded for wanting to "explore".
      John seems quick to excuse her behavior on the assumption that her husband is a scumbag...
      "Build something new from scratch, which is awesome." FFS John, let see how you'd approach it if there was such a breach of your trust like that from your wife...

    • @David-wo9un
      @David-wo9un 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@Stantorr I have yet to hear a situation where John holds a woman responsible for choices she made; there is always something that excuses the behavior.

    • @MarluART
      @MarluART 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@David-wo9un That is something I have noticed, a bit in the normal Ramsey show too where most of the responsibility is on the guy. Good thing that their baseline advice is good or else I'd drop them instantly.

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@David-wo9un TBH it was the husbands fault for agreeing, i would have told her "no problem i will contact divorce attorneys, best of luck."

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      To be fair, it isn't cheating.

  • @andreweaton9021
    @andreweaton9021 2 ปีที่แล้ว +787

    “I murdered our marriage but now I want to bring it back to life” holy heck…. The guy is gone, just accept it.

    • @jarrod752
      @jarrod752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      A classic example of when the branch she tries to swing to breaks and when she reaches backwards the branch she let of has swung out of reach. The ground is going to hurt this one methinks!

    • @mr.j3371
      @mr.j3371 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      For real. The woman is an idiot, husband is gone.

    • @Astro95Media
      @Astro95Media ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I agree ... a guy will never look at a woman the same once she sleeps with someone else.

    • @midlifecrisis7888
      @midlifecrisis7888 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      She’s for the streets

    • @000vijackson000
      @000vijackson000 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes it never happened to a man in a history 😂

  • @juanbrand4736
    @juanbrand4736 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +167

    My ex wife asked for open relationship I divorced her on the spot, didn't regret it I know my worth...my ex wife never been the same...you cannot fix people with a broken childhood...the wholesome love you give them they don't know how to handle it as a man I can only complement my spouse's life not fix it....if you ever marry make sure you as a couple have the same values

    • @gregnagy7569
      @gregnagy7569 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Done exactly how it should be done.....

    • @heatherchandler1184
      @heatherchandler1184 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      Sorry that happened to you. That said, please don’t lump people with broken childhoods together. Some of us actually put in the work to end generational curses and heal.

    • @elinat7836
      @elinat7836 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🙌

    • @happilydivorced3235
      @happilydivorced3235 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @L_e_y_d_y-J_o_h_a_n_n_aBaby! You ate that. You are the woman you think you are. 😂I also refuse to date broken men who refuse to put their own pieces together. I married one and he added to my brokenness. I left him and did the inner work. Never again. Healed women deserve healed men. ✌🏿

    • @tylerskelton6352
      @tylerskelton6352 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@heatherchandler1184what he said is correct though you cannot fix people with broken childhoods they have to fix themselves

  • @7somekindofsomething
    @7somekindofsomething ปีที่แล้ว +104

    This channel is the positive influence so many of us need in a society devoid of morals.

  • @lynnreeves7748
    @lynnreeves7748 2 ปีที่แล้ว +393

    Marriage means absolutely nothing to so many people anymore. Just sad 😔

    • @MagickIsPower
      @MagickIsPower 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      It means everything to me.

    • @KathytheMama777
      @KathytheMama777 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Me too

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Lol as if cheating is a new thing. Some people have no clue.

    • @ElimEx1
      @ElimEx1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Let's take to take the non hollywood approach. What do you think marriage was historically? If you say anything other than a means to improve a man's finance and politics, you need to open a history book. People have ALWAYS had a marriage for money and kids and lovers for romance, lust and love.

    • @zacharybleu9294
      @zacharybleu9294 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sad indeed. 😔

  • @chasityeverett2753
    @chasityeverett2753 2 ปีที่แล้ว +433

    I hate to break it to her but her husband will never think of her/their marriage in the same way again. Once you cross certain lines there’s no coming back from it.

    • @David-wo9un
      @David-wo9un 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      💯

    • @jarrod752
      @jarrod752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Yeah people seem to think of open marriages as a switch. In reality, it's more like a fuse. From an old 1940's building. And you don't have a replacement. And you can never get one.

    • @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559
      @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      She married at 18 - that alone shows how immature they were/are. It's like the blind leading the blind.

    • @ASmith-jn7kf
      @ASmith-jn7kf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 just because they married at 18? I don't think so. People get divorced at high ages and maturity is not only about age. She was obviously not wise though to marry someone in the army if she knows she wants a certain type of attention that someone would have to be present daily to experience. I think anyone who married someone in the armed forces is not wise in general though and is short sighted.

    • @PunkMartyr
      @PunkMartyr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This...

  • @Thesussysuscat
    @Thesussysuscat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +627

    Women who talk to another guy about marriage problems are inviting trouble and seeking for outside marraige attention

    • @jilogarcia5979
      @jilogarcia5979 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Married women shouldn't be talking to other guys period.

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      This is called emotional cheating. Just like if a man talks to his "female friend" about his marriage problems. How do people not realize if you are married its supposed to be between you two. You become one. If you can't work it out then you divorce and go your separate ways.

    • @karenjones8713
      @karenjones8713 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Same with husbands...my ex is still married to his confidant 35 years. Although, I'm glad I'm not married to him anyway! LOL!

    • @haleytruslow7200
      @haleytruslow7200 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Exactly. She was going to cheat either way.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      definitely. and the same can be said for men who talk to women about their marriage.

  • @avaglynn1
    @avaglynn1 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    I hate when people blame their failed marriage on getting married young. Plenty of marriages fail when they get married older. And plenty of marriages thrive when they get married young. It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with maturity.

    • @tammyicious
      @tammyicious ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Excellent point... it's like they are using marrying young as an excuse. 👍

    • @Imissnormal
      @Imissnormal 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It boils down to putting themselves before anyone else.

    • @11118msn
      @11118msn 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Immature and not having the skills needed to thrive, can happen at any age

    • @RaeBehrs
      @RaeBehrs 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Amen! I was 18 and my husband was 20. We have been married for 10 years now, and we have a thriving, healthy, vibrant marriage and have been blessed with four beautiful children. Having discussed nonnegotiable issues, worldview, vision for the future, and having a biblical understanding of marriage was all established before we got engaged. That has given us a strong foundation. Lord willing, by His grace, we will be together for the rest of our lives.

    • @marianyvega8756
      @marianyvega8756 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      God bless you! My husband and I married at 18 as well (dated for 3 years prior), married 8.5 years.
      I hate when people say that their problem was that they married young when in all reality most of them are having problems because of the responsibility of being mature adult and talking to their partner WITH RESPECT is a bit too much for them when the going gets tough.
      My husband and I actually went through something like this before. Shortly after being married he felt like he was "missing out" and wanted to feel attractive but by other woman, not me. Which I could understand having that desire but I wanted no part of it.
      With a lot of berating (3 months worth) he convinced me to open up our marriage and though I assumed we would divorce shortly after since why else would he bring this up if he wasn't alread talking to someone else sexually? I never dated anyone during and he couldn't get anyone to sleep with him of the opposite sex.
      After talking about our shame and other embarrassing things (like me giving in, out of feeling undesirable and him for wanting and having to come to terms with his child abuse which I didn't know the full extent of yet).. We decided that we didn't really feel safe or even okay being apart.
      Although that hurt us both tremendously we have a strong desire to cherish and fix what we have than separate each other.
      And YES our marriage was never the same after that and honestly I'm glad about it!
      I had the opportunity to fall in love again, with a man that was willing to admit his fault and suffer not just the consequences of it but the work to make it right. He's only human and so am I. Having a spouse that is gracious with you despite your fault is a blessing and he has done the same for me.
      There's an eastern kind of art where artists would fill broken plates or vases with gold. I discovered it while wondering if he would divorce me for another woman. Most of the vases only had one or two cracks filled with gold and then I came across one that was clearly shattered to bits (which I related to the most) that seemed to float on thin rivers of gold. I could only imagine how difficult it was to pick up all the tiny bits and to get the gold to comply. I didn't know if I'd be as successful as the artist but I wanted to try for the sake of our marriage.
      We're now, still together riding out life's bumps together, and even though it's not always sunshine and rainbows, I don't think I would have it any other way.
      P.S. That vase was very beautiful I should really get a print or painting of one.

  • @ziahreid9269
    @ziahreid9269 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

    He came in and saved her from a broken home. Went on deployment providing for her, and she did that to him? He agreed to it to make her "happy'. What a joke. I hope he finds the strength to take his manhood back and tell her to kick rocks.

  • @peterteixeira2893
    @peterteixeira2893 2 ปีที่แล้ว +884

    John's videos have the best titles on TH-cam and they aren't even click bait😄

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      you see the norms/expectations of BOTH males & females

    • @Coastpsych_fi99
      @Coastpsych_fi99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Makes me so grateful to be single when I hear this 😆

    • @COINsimp2024
      @COINsimp2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Right and his facial expression in the thumbnail also makes me click 😂

    • @TheDaumWorld
      @TheDaumWorld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Coastpsych_fi99 yeah nah. Being 50s alone at a home with no children to grow and make more legends. Nah that ain’t it

    • @offensivediscourse8514
      @offensivediscourse8514 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheDaumWorld it's not great but it's better than being trapped in n abusive relationship.

  • @honeyfurfarm2182
    @honeyfurfarm2182 ปีที่แล้ว +505

    I know a couple that's done this and it was obvious the wife wanted to have a relationship with someone else and the husband went along with it to try and keep her, the husband dated one lady and then hasn't ever again. Watching him suffer from the outside is terrible. He's basically staying for his daughter while his wife is literally dating his best friend. Don't do this to your partner just leave.

    • @ascent8487
      @ascent8487 ปีที่แล้ว

      She’s garbage but he’s an idiot. I’m sorry but if he’s not okay with this he should get out. Staying for the daughter? A lot of us are products of parents staying together for the kids. Divorce is sometimes better. Also does the daughter know? Kids are not as dumb as most adults seem to think. If she knows (if she doesn’t yet she probably will eventually), what’s that going to do to her? She might end of very messed up and quite frankly disgusted with her parents. I would.

    • @Tgogators
      @Tgogators ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I know of something similar too. There was context to it. The wife already has a “business trip affair” with her boss, once she confessed to that being the real motivation for the “open marriage” idea. She nixed the idea but said he could have a “revenge affair…I’ll set you up with one of my friends.” Turns out part of the affair was from encouragement from her friends. Then they compromised and said they could sleep with others, long as it’s kept away from their house, etc. he got with 2 different women in 2 months. She got jealous and was taken back he was a “ladies man” (he was 33 and hooked up with some 23 year old college softball athlete). Then she wanted to call the whole thing off and move to a new city together (away from his family, no less). If you haven’t noticed it was all about control & isolating him.

    • @becky5569
      @becky5569 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      ​@Tgogators let's not infantilize men though, he is making his own choices too

    • @alexr6470
      @alexr6470 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@becky5569 yes, this type of men are very weak and feminized.

    • @randybobandy9828
      @randybobandy9828 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      Wtf??? She started to date his best friend? No... That is no friend anymore..

  • @jilogarcia5979
    @jilogarcia5979 2 ปีที่แล้ว +527

    He should divorce her immediately.

    • @JP-uy9kq
      @JP-uy9kq ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Pretty much this. If John was any type of real man, he'd tell her to have the husband call and he will work with it that way.

    • @randybobandy9828
      @randybobandy9828 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      He should have divorced her the first time she mentioned it

    • @alexr6470
      @alexr6470 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@randybobandy9828exactly

    • @TheAgentmigs
      @TheAgentmigs 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I mean, she would get half tho. So there's that.

    • @izziereal2010
      @izziereal2010 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@TheAgentmigsit's a small price to pay to divorce her now, split the assets, then to stay in the marriage, later get the divorce, and give her more assets and alimony due to the longevity of the marriage. The guy needs to cut his losses.

  • @mattyyoungcloudsart3008
    @mattyyoungcloudsart3008 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    When she said her husband was just "there" when asked how he was..that told me all I needed to know. I feel the poor dude.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right..?
      That was just sad..
      She's for the streets

    • @jacksgl777
      @jacksgl777 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      When she said that, to me it meant he’s not very active in participating in their relationship. So, yeah, he’s just “there”

    • @IdeologyOfPain
      @IdeologyOfPain หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ⁠@@jacksgl777 she was thinking about starting an open relationship. Sign number 1 that she isn’t trying to talk to him either. She then started and ended the open relationship all on her own and still isn’t even interested in what her husband has to say about it? Sign number 2 that she isn’t trying to communicate and would rather run from her problems or make excuses. Sounds like her man was unhappy with her before, agreed just to make her happy and maybe himself, and is now thinking of how to get out. No one walks around with zero thoughts in their head lol

  • @Sarah-dq1fm
    @Sarah-dq1fm 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

    Congrats…you played yourself.

  • @willarmendariz7663
    @willarmendariz7663 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1162

    Translation: I wanted to upgrade, but the man I cheated with was a downgrade, now my husband upgraded and doesn't want me back because the woman he's with is better and younger and hotter than me and I'm going absolutely insane because I'VE BEEN REPLACED AND I CAN'T STAND IT AND I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE AND NOW I DON'T WANT TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FIR MY ACTIONS!!! DELONY PLEASE TALK TO HIM TO GET HIM BACK!!!!

    • @ryannau1756
      @ryannau1756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Exactly

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Yep!!!

    • @AmitPatel_.
      @AmitPatel_. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      💯 if he were my friend or relative I’m advising him to get rid of this garden tool.

    • @Melissa.712
      @Melissa.712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      @@AmitPatel_. "garden tool" lmfao 😆😂 that's awesome.

    • @Hueyn42
      @Hueyn42 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@AmitPatel_. man that is a great one. I'm going to have to use that

  • @S2C8509
    @S2C8509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +656

    "Blame Covid, or *deployments* "
    Not even a pandemic will stop Jody.

    • @bee12355
      @bee12355 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      There’s no accountability for her actions. Covid did it

    • @chucknv5482
      @chucknv5482 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I just imagine some specialist weaseling his way in at the gym and convincing her he will solve her problems by sleeping with her, with his permission lol. Husband was probably done anyways and figured he would collect the BAH with dep while she did her thing 😂.

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ho ho ho

    • @garrettmorano3038
      @garrettmorano3038 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      🤣 Only enemy the military hasn't been able to defeat.

    • @Alibern7
      @Alibern7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Who’s Jody?

  • @samuelstrachan2726
    @samuelstrachan2726 2 ปีที่แล้ว +497

    Who ever listens to their friends marriage problems and then suggests they can be their side-piece has bigger balls than anyone I know.

    • @proper.role.model.819
      @proper.role.model.819 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Sure it happens way more than we know. Not everyone gets caught.

    • @Matt-cr4vv
      @Matt-cr4vv ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I hate to say they have big balls because that infers a positive quality over how big of a slimeball someone is to pretend to be a concerned ear to listen to all the ways that his supposed best friend falls short to use that as a weapon to win over his wife. The closest thing to courage he had was going to ten home that he did contribute one thing to

    • @TripleVenusTarot
      @TripleVenusTarot ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂

    • @MRkriegs
      @MRkriegs 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      That's why she said YES to him lol!

    • @kwadwog8168
      @kwadwog8168 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Balls full of jizz 😅. Their "mutual" friend suggested it, and I am sure that friend tapped it really well.

  • @brendamoon2660
    @brendamoon2660 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    These situations start with ego. The one wanting an open relationship feels dissatisfied with their partner because they see themselves as being more desirable. When it turns out the partner is more marketable they feel ripped off. If her husband waited at home while she had a great dating life she wouldn't be unhappy with the open marriage

    • @martymcfly88mph35
      @martymcfly88mph35 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bingo! Excellent comment Brenda, worded that excellently.

  • @martymcfly88mph35
    @martymcfly88mph35 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    "Polyamory is so new and exciting! It sounds so great!" I've never, ever seen it work out well lol. Not on the long term, and rarely even the short term.

    • @javiermorales365
      @javiermorales365 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Polyamory will never work unless you are just messing around with a bf/gf and having fun with it. If you actually care for the person 99% it should bother you if they even kiss another person.

    • @DericAnslum
      @DericAnslum ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ...the "amory" part is the problem...

    • @invisiblespirit5476
      @invisiblespirit5476 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Weird, it’s almost as if humans are a monogamous species…

    • @Gentilejedi
      @Gentilejedi 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      My parents knew a couple (back in the 70s) that had a 4some and 2 of them guy/girl started hooking up privately. The one friend my parents said, he was at their house in tears he made a big mistake but he and his wife worked through their marriage. The the other woman was a serial cheater.

    • @LevityBrevity
      @LevityBrevity หลายเดือนก่อน

      Are we? If so then why do so many people cheat?? ​@@invisiblespirit5476

  • @same.7939
    @same.7939 2 ปีที่แล้ว +505

    Right out the gate she opens with lack of accountability- “blame it on this or that, just not on me!” Also, the only reason she now wants to work on the marriage is the idea that SHE came up with is no longer working out for her. Smh.

    • @bongbong12345
      @bongbong12345 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @9INE PLANETS It usually means she's already cheating.

    • @ThatRandomDude400
      @ThatRandomDude400 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Facts. RIP K.S

    • @marc9149
      @marc9149 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      zero accountability. It was all about making sure she got what she wanted. Making her feelings #1 not her marriage.

    • @jarrod752
      @jarrod752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @9INE PLANETS It's a marriage. You need about a year to set new financial patterns so that you can get divorced without any cancerous financial appendages. Let her go full affair fog and just get out as cheaply and patiently as possible.

    • @mekeiawatson
      @mekeiawatson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And she's going to do it again

  • @TedFarabee
    @TedFarabee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    Why was she talking to another man about her sex life? In most marriages there is a firecracker and a dud. No marriage partner can make you passionately happy all the time. That’s why the commitment is made. Sometimes it’s wonderful. Sometimes you fall asleep snuggling on the couch, exhausted. Sleeping with someone else doesn’t help anyone, but sure brings resentment and deep hurt. I would be devastated if my wife wanted someone else. She said no to me until marriage. That’s why I married her. Because she’s the real deal. 32 years and I love her more today.

    • @bjkarana
      @bjkarana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      oh so true; but I'd say: _In most marriages there is a man and a woman_

    • @Living4YHWH
      @Living4YHWH 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@bjkarana In ALL marriages, there is a man and a woman. Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman. 😉

    • @letsgetjackdup9952
      @letsgetjackdup9952 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That's so beautiful. Dont let that woman go.

    • @bjkarana
      @bjkarana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@Living4YHWH I don't exclude our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters from being married, hence the "most" qualifier.

    • @Living4YHWH
      @Living4YHWH 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@bjkarana Except that scenario isn't actually marriage. You can change a definition in a dictionary but that doesn't change reality.
      God made marriage one man and one woman and no power on earth can overcome His design.

  • @SidewaysEightSix
    @SidewaysEightSix 2 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    The worst part of any disloyalty is watching the person you love give information you desperately need… to another man.

    • @CE-vd2px
      @CE-vd2px 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What info did he desperately need?

    • @SidewaysEightSix
      @SidewaysEightSix 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@CE-vd2px everything she talked about. Her wants, her needs, her feelings. She hid all of it from her husband leaving him in the dark, but gave it all to the new guy, then threw it back in her husbands face as if to say “See?! HE gives me things.” But she never gave her husband that information

    • @CE-vd2px
      @CE-vd2px 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@SidewaysEightSix ah, i see.

    • @Danny-sx6cj
      @Danny-sx6cj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      YEP

    • @matt3247
      @matt3247 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And then had the audacity to blame covid and deployments. Put her on the streets. Zero accountability on this one.

  • @TK1258-EXP4
    @TK1258-EXP4 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    An open marriage is an oxymoron. It’s a contradiction in terms. It’s like a house without walls. The walls are what make the house a house.

  • @ma8839
    @ma8839 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    She isn’t getting the action she wants, so she wants to end it. If the script was flipped, she would still have the open marriage. 100%

  • @hs5167
    @hs5167 2 ปีที่แล้ว +245

    Geez! I’m not sure how a marriage comes back from something like that… I’ve been married for over 25 years and I just can’t imagine even think how an open marriage could possibly make things better?

    • @zainafyl
      @zainafyl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Bart Jenkins exactly!!!!

    • @blahblahblah4544
      @blahblahblah4544 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Some people don't have a good upbringing and example.

    • @sarahgardner535
      @sarahgardner535 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      22 years and neither can I.

    • @davidlatting3789
      @davidlatting3789 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Things don’t get better, they get worse. I’ve seen so many stories about people who decide to try this and it ends in disaster, divorce and a lot of bitterness.

    • @kwadwog8168
      @kwadwog8168 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What about your rights to experience all the love you can get? It is not like the equipment gets finished when the open partners use it too 😮. Let us encourage those who want to experience this to do so. We don't have enough numbers to make more conclusive. 😊

  • @joelobeck6214
    @joelobeck6214 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    People have completely forgotten that the point of marriage is sanctification between both people.. it’s an institution where you can safely work out your insecurities, fears and lustful tendencies.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Such a mockery to marriage to think that adding another lover will fix all your problems..🙄 talk about twisted thinking

    • @Melting_because_of_beauty
      @Melting_because_of_beauty 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yess exactly!!if i get married I just want tell her every insecurity i have, cry on her lap ,tell her how exaushting work was today and yk what? I wanna have a real serious fight with her (unintentionally) when we are so upset at each other to a point of not seeing each other and at that point i just wanna take a deep breath ignore all the hate , go to her room and give her massive hug right to bed and while she is trying to get away I'll just stay still and kiss her then we talk all night

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You think this is new?? Monogamy has never been successful

    • @edgaraf9411
      @edgaraf9411 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@kbanghartwhat a nonsense answer. It works for plenty of people and works way better than poly does

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@edgaraf9411 I never said it doesn't work for people, I said it's not very successful. Unless you consider 40 to 50% failure rate successful.

  • @calebshipley4448
    @calebshipley4448 2 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    “We had problems in our marriage, so we decided to fix it by completely abandoning all sense of commitment.”
    Huh??

    • @zeal4god402
      @zeal4god402 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      the frailty of human wisdom

    • @same.7939
      @same.7939 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lol the way you put it 😂

  • @jamesdotson1080
    @jamesdotson1080 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    The good Doctor had zero issue calling out her "boyfriend" multiple times, yet he NEVER held her responsible for HER part in what was happened. How about a little honesty and telling her she doesn't have a marriage to save.

    • @peekaboots01
      @peekaboots01 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      He's soft on female callers.

    • @elfascisto6549
      @elfascisto6549 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You can start your own show if you want

    • @brianmcdonald7017
      @brianmcdonald7017 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Because he's a simp.

    • @brianmcdonald7017
      @brianmcdonald7017 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@elfascisto6549 only simps are allowed to have mainstream shows. Being masculine is a big no no

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      She already feels shame! She knows she messed up big time! Why beat her up more!? How would that help?
      He is a therapist and is trying to get her back on track! She is looking for guidance! She wants to save her marriage !

  • @audreym3777
    @audreym3777 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Had a guy ask me what I was into (I’m single) and I said “monogamy”. He replied with “oooh that sounds kinky, what’s that!?”
    🤦‍♀️

    • @eesynopsis7393
      @eesynopsis7393 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      wooooooow

    • @Locdluuv
      @Locdluuv ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Megan6772
      @Megan6772 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He's illiterate

    • @TripleVenusTarot
      @TripleVenusTarot ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂😂😂🤭

    • @aleeshal.9160
      @aleeshal.9160 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Hahaha he sounds funny he might be just sarcastic clown

  • @davidw2857
    @davidw2857 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    “Open” in “open marriage” means “the door is open to leave because I have one foot out.” Keep striding, sister.

  • @songohan9240
    @songohan9240 2 ปีที่แล้ว +231

    This is typical , she decided she wants to have sex outside of the marriage so she allowed him too as well , her thing didn’t go so good , and she got jealous that his thing with someone else was going better probably. Now she wants to work on her marriage.

    • @Yassin.ibn.farouk
      @Yassin.ibn.farouk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Yea exactly. And it was her idea to begin with. So typical.

    • @ivanlogo4901
      @ivanlogo4901 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Woman moment?

    • @ericprieto4348
      @ericprieto4348 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      facts

    • @SnowOwlCNY
      @SnowOwlCNY 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Yea, she recked her marriage for a bad boy who abused her and now wants her good boy husband to take her back. She choose not to love husband and to disrespect him

    • @xXVegetaXx
      @xXVegetaXx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I agree with kakarots offspring I hope the guy doesn’t take her back. Her little “need” to be with another man didn’t go so well so now the husband is plan B and she’s jealous that his fling was going well. I say it’s too late and the husband should leave her.

  • @elainenilsson5472
    @elainenilsson5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว +308

    Nothing like having an open affair and expecting things to work out. And at no point did you think that this might not be a good idea.

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Ya she barely goes over the fact she was putting her "marriage problems" on a "friend". This is called emotional cheating.

    • @elainenilsson5472
      @elainenilsson5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@johnsmith-kt7ef Agree, and she just happens to interested in having sex with this guy.

    • @fancynancy2888
      @fancynancy2888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You would think if she could/would not discuss marital issues with her husband, she should have sought out advice first from a professional (counselor/therapist/pyschologist) or a religious/faith leader, if she has one.

    • @kpeggs82
      @kpeggs82 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      She already had the new partner in mind when she proposed this nonsense. The husband is likely out the door at least mentally already.

    • @elainenilsson5472
      @elainenilsson5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@fancynancy2888 That would defeat her purpose. She wanted to legally fool around. Most likely will backfire.

  • @karynpate800
    @karynpate800 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Dr John is exactly right...day to day make a decision to be alive with your husband, it is totally worth it, have happily married 48 years.

  • @hmmlemeeshink
    @hmmlemeeshink 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    So, only reason she "got back" to her husband was because the "boyfriend" treated her bad. No. Goodbye. I would not have you back lassie.

  • @Rydrsv
    @Rydrsv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +511

    It makes me sad that many marriages don’t involve commitment anymore. Now it’s when things get tough, just go find someone else. How about choosing to love each other even when you don’t feel like it [cause our feelings change constantly] and fighting for your marriage / working towards reconciliation. I know there are always exceptions but still…

    • @zeal4god402
      @zeal4god402 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      AMEEEEEEEN
      Revelation 2:4-5
      Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.
      Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

    • @Brandnnzzz
      @Brandnnzzz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It's more harder than that than you may think. When you you may feel you have your match but not having a need of intimacy is very challenging. It's childish to say but it's really like eating pizza at the same place every single day... Sometimes you need to try different things, It more than often doesn't work but It's a unrealistic standard to leave a fully invested situation for a short term sexual encounter. It doesn't justify it to be right or wrong, The perspective isn't fully understood or considered

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Brandnnzzz do those pizza toppings include hpv, HIV, gonorrhea, herpes..... Protection? There is no self control when you are out of control

    • @nickstrapko7549
      @nickstrapko7549 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      some people cant ride a bike with 2 wheels

    • @dr.bradshaw
      @dr.bradshaw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      We live in an overly sexualized society, temptation is unreal these days and it’s easier than ever to allow it to control you.

  • @SarahR2D2
    @SarahR2D2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    She went to the streets and got rejected by the streets and now she came back with a bunch of flea's. Her husband said he's done but I'm pretty sure pandoras box is now open no pun intended.

  • @216trixie
    @216trixie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    The guy she cheated with ended up not treating her well? Who'd be surprised? Why should he respect her. She was willing to sleep around on her husband.

    • @humansvd3269
      @humansvd3269 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      And she still kept in contact 8 months after she stopped sleeping with him!!!

    • @marteumar8429
      @marteumar8429 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Yup and he was not evil and manipulative like John said, she wasn’t “taken advantage” of, she was stupid just that. He wanted to bang her, nothing evil about that. She, a married woman, wanted to be banged by him, that’s what is wrong. The other guy didn’t own her husband fidelity, they were not married, she was the one who owned her husband fidelity. I’m pissed how he excuse her bad decisions all the way through. She’s not a victim

    • @elfascisto6549
      @elfascisto6549 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@marteumar8429 he wanted to bang a married woman. That's what's evil about that

    • @tamelaparton1007
      @tamelaparton1007 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      And now she doesn’t like her husband having someone🤔

  • @fremontpathfinder8463
    @fremontpathfinder8463 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    People seem to be getting more and more superficial. It makes me grateful for the parents I had

  • @daisywares1
    @daisywares1 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I'm 65 years old and have never once heard of an open marriage that was good for everyone involved. Or even OK for everyone involved. Open marriage = single.

  • @nikkole9951
    @nikkole9951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +213

    What is wrong with people? This is crazy. Why be married if you want to sleep with other people? Doesn’t matter what the circumstances are.

    • @quelquun2018
      @quelquun2018 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @WheresPaul#1981 right!!! they had their own issues prior to covid.

    • @Evil-Rod-Farva
      @Evil-Rod-Farva 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Because the family court system has a 50-year record of incentivizing women to have poor behavior in marriages because no matter what, they win. They can have Chad’s pipe and Brad’s money.
      If no-fault divorce disappeared, so would this behavior.

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean... I am not opposed to it. I am sexually attracted to other people all of the time. I can understand why you may want to explore. I just couldn't imagine doing it when my marriage is a hot mess

    • @sobeliever1638
      @sobeliever1638 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Evil-Rod-Farva pretty sure there are other factors involved here. This is a morality issue.

    • @Evil-Rod-Farva
      @Evil-Rod-Farva 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sobeliever1638 Which is why it’s important to have a court system that enforces them and is just for the greater good and not just for a woman’s whim at the time.
      If the party that initiated divorce 4/5 times suffered a little more from that decision, they would think twice before entering and exiting marriages.
      Thankfully young men are doing a lot of the court’s work for them and just aren’t signing the marital contract.

  • @bazd313
    @bazd313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    Let me resolve my marriage issues by sleeping with my husbands friend. This is arrogance to a whole new level. There is no perfect marriage so you might as well work on the negativity in the relationship instead of finding it somewhere else. I dont think he's gonna look at her the same.

    • @zainafyl
      @zainafyl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The whole idea of open relationships just makes things worse, whether it’s affecting the person who wants to go along with it or their partner or even the person they’re looking to for their sexual needs, it’s all gonna end in a mess !

    • @GameChanger597
      @GameChanger597 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The respect for her is gone bc of what she was willing to do to their marriage, while he still retains respect in her eyes bc now he's the nice guy who didn't treat her like her crummy bf. This is disgusting.

    • @sagauer
      @sagauer 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah, and then come back and be "honest" about the details... this is another level lol

  • @christinewatson1989
    @christinewatson1989 2 ปีที่แล้ว +381

    If you're with someone who suggests an open relationship, you're with someone DEEPLY selfish and emotionally abusive. Period.

    • @viviennedunbar3374
      @viviennedunbar3374 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yep, your relationship is over. Leave.

    • @debbiehopper5288
      @debbiehopper5288 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Very true

    • @charlienebrown4853
      @charlienebrown4853 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      That is not always true.

    • @FilthyMcNasty69
      @FilthyMcNasty69 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Delusional

    • @vprez4925
      @vprez4925 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I have male friends who are in a sexless marriage. One in particular loves his wife and thinks she's a great mom, but they have sex maybe twice a year. He's deeply hurt by it. He tried to get her a therapist and couple's counseling, but she refused to resolve the issue. She's perfectly fine not having sex. He's not fine.
      She gave him the go to seek sex elsewhere, but he'd rather have it from her.

  • @billyjohnson9166
    @billyjohnson9166 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Dr. John don’t blame it on the other guy. It’s all her fault 100%.

  • @7somekindofsomething
    @7somekindofsomething ปีที่แล้ว +27

    All my friends in open relationships who tell me “It’s the way. Monotony isn’t natural”, all I see is them arguing about situations with other people in clubs, jealousy etc.
    I’m there are some open couples who could prove to me it sometimes works, but personally not for me, and not for most people who think it’s right for them either.

    • @viviennedunbar3374
      @viviennedunbar3374 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@troyhaileyexactly, who wants “friends”like that? Not me!

    • @paulmckenzie4103
      @paulmckenzie4103 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's not uncommon in other societies for a partner to have more than one lover.

    • @geometerfpv2804
      @geometerfpv2804 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@paulmckenzie4103 ...you mean like the kind of societies where women can be stoned for adultery? 🙄

    • @invisiblespirit5476
      @invisiblespirit5476 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@paulmckenzie4103 That’s the minority. Children do best when their parents are monogamous, and that’s why humans became that way.

  • @misslinda772
    @misslinda772 2 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    Remember: Into every relationship …. You bring yourself.

    • @juarezk99
      @juarezk99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thats amazing. Plse elaborated

    • @misslinda772
      @misslinda772 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      For every relationship, you bring your emotional baggage. It affects the people you attract, and the way you react to others.

    • @agricolaregs
      @agricolaregs ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep. She’s the problem.

  • @IncogKneegrow1
    @IncogKneegrow1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I wonder what’s worse… your wife telling you that YOUR friend suggested he sleeps with her? Her venting to the friend in the 1st place? Or your wife actually coming to you with this suggestion…

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      well said brother

    • @nickysunshine8734
      @nickysunshine8734 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Damn it was her husband friend? She is ruthless. 😅😅… the whole thing is terrible.

    • @landondean4701
      @landondean4701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Or, you going through with it

    • @Texan_Gal
      @Texan_Gal 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yup. Yup.

    • @YieldOfDreamz
      @YieldOfDreamz ปีที่แล้ว +12

      She was venting to him because she knew he wanted her and she already wanted him (you can always tell). She had a plan from the get go. She does not love her husband at all, she just realized that he treats her decently and the other guy just used her box so now she wants to fix it. If his friend was good to her she would still be sleeping with him if not already with him permanently. She hedged her bets because she knew the husband was weak.

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    She acknowledges the marriage was broken and she now wants to fix it, I wish she’d come to this conclusion before suggesting sleeping with other people. Marriage is a covenant, it is not easy by any means, but it’s a commitment and trust and loyalty are a big part of it. I hope their marriage survives.

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      she was already cheating by confiding in a "friend" about her marriage problems instead of her husband.

    • @davidlatting3789
      @davidlatting3789 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      She should’ve never discussed her marriage with another man. If you have issues, you talk to your significant other.
      Once again it’s the woman who suggested opening the marriage because she already had a guy waiting that she thought was so great. She finds out he isn’t great at all and NOW she wants to work on the marriage like she should’ve done in the first place.
      These things always end in a train wreck.

    • @vladnation
      @vladnation ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I hope they find people they deserve, this marriage can't and shouldn't be saved

    • @ascent8487
      @ascent8487 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why would you ever want this marriage to be saved? This woman should be and stay single. She can bone everyone she wants that way. Casually boning is made for such people. No real problems to ever have to work through. No real commitment. It’s perfect.

    • @janeeyx5672
      @janeeyx5672 ปีที่แล้ว

      She had options then. Now she doesn’t and wants to work on the marriage 🤣🤣

  • @lolgriffin3243
    @lolgriffin3243 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Despite what our culture tells you, we aren't made to engage is BS.

  • @TheAlixAmanda
    @TheAlixAmanda หลายเดือนก่อน

    Props to Dr.John for being so kind and patient with this train wreck, if I was with a person like this I would be out so fast

  • @rebeccaoprea9917
    @rebeccaoprea9917 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Relationships don’t solve problems, it reveals them .

  • @kpeggs82
    @kpeggs82 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Single or married these stories are always a dumpster fire you can’t turn away from.

  • @michaelwoods4495
    @michaelwoods4495 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    This woman is nuts! Real adults make commitments and keep their promises. Wife and I have sometimes entertained a thought or two, or at least I suppose so, but we don't act on them and eventually fidelity becomes a habit. The satisfaction of knowing we're loyal exceeds anything I can imagine from playing around.

    • @midlifecrisis7888
      @midlifecrisis7888 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She’s for the streets

    • @rosas5365
      @rosas5365 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wow MichaelWoods your statement is awesome

    • @frank1fm634
      @frank1fm634 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Michael Woods I saw your comment.This how I also think.This woman in certified 100% nuts.

    • @johnhorner1969
      @johnhorner1969 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is more to a relationship than just “you made a promise…” if a relationship isn’t working for one party, there has to be open communication. You have to say “I’m feeling this way or this or that isn’t working for me.” And then you address it or you will find that the relationship can’t continue. It’s so ridiculous to hold the belief that marriage is a binding contract that has to be kept regardless of whatever happens or changes during life. Your opinion about marriage seems so unhealthy.

    • @michaelwoods4495
      @michaelwoods4495 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@johnhorner1969 It's worked for us so far. 54 years so far!

  • @OleGeezerCirca1941
    @OleGeezerCirca1941 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    People can have an open marriage? I feel like a schmuck by being exclusively married to the same woman for almost 57 years!!! 👫💘💘

    • @viviennedunbar3374
      @viviennedunbar3374 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      27 years and still going strong. If there is more than two people in the marriage it’s no longer a marriage in my book.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      No they can't have an open marriage.. a marriage is between two people and cannot sustain adding more people to the equation .. You have chosen the better way.. what you have is the real deal, and the way it was meant to be 👍🏻. This girl bought the lie that she could have her cake and eat it to..

    • @s.7948
      @s.7948 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      26 years here and proud 😊

  • @aruglaempire2518
    @aruglaempire2518 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I'll blame HER.

  • @hupomone0609
    @hupomone0609 2 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    Once it’s open it’s no longer a marriage, call it something else🙆‍♀️

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Once a third party enters its no longer a marriage period

    • @WriteMeASong7
      @WriteMeASong7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      An entanglement 😂

    • @jarrod752
      @jarrod752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      _Open: accepting of outside influences._
      _Marriage: A legal agreement between a man and a woman to live together and share resources for the sake of children._
      I think _Open marriage_ is the correct phrase to use, unless you think something like _pre-divorce_ is more descriptive...

    • @ellydenis6821
      @ellydenis6821 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Like a house without a roof and only 3 walls

    • @jarrod752
      @jarrod752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ellydenis6821 that's called a lawsuit.

  • @davidandamandaboots
    @davidandamandaboots 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    What a mess! As marriages and families all around us crumble, I'm reminded to be so very thankful for biblical truth and wisdom.

    • @sueblack5794
      @sueblack5794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Biblical truth...multiple wives and over 700 hundred concubines for one man. No one ever talks about those Biblical marriages do they? Bible loves talking about polyamory.

    • @basednwhitepilld
      @basednwhitepilld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@sueblack5794 old testament is there to teach us what not to do.

    • @sueblack5794
      @sueblack5794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@basednwhitepilld Yes...that is what Christians always conveniently like to say. Old testament is a whole lot more than just teaching us what not to do. It is the story/history of God and his relationship with people from the very beginning. Christ himself used the OT in most of his teachings and referred to it often. It is called "breathed by God in the New Testament in the book of John. You dismissing it as nothing more than "teaching us what not to do" is dismissing who God was and is.

    • @BonnieM93
      @BonnieM93 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@sueblack5794 God always wanted it to be one man and one woman. Sin caused men to disobey God.

    • @dianeathoacardinalridge8788
      @dianeathoacardinalridge8788 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@sueblack5794 Christ reiterated the model - male and female, leave and cleave from parents, partnered for life and the nucleus for the family. I’m paraphrasing, of course.

  • @javierhuizar4207
    @javierhuizar4207 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    The grass is not always greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. She chose to stop trying with her husband.

    • @cosmiqshy8941
      @cosmiqshy8941 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🎯

    • @janelleg597
      @janelleg597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The same patch of grass gets really old after decades of use

    • @javierhuizar4207
      @javierhuizar4207 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@janelleg597 No, you just choose to not put effort into watering and caring for the grass and let it get old. Flames run out when you stop adding fuel to the fire. You cannot expect the fire to keep going if you aren't putting effort into it.

    • @magnusmagnusson146
      @magnusmagnusson146 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@javierhuizar4207 But what if the man is just trying to lay some seed in other soil? Maybe he has enough time to tend to other grass. Why cant they both be green?

    • @hannahmcintosh5343
      @hannahmcintosh5343 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@magnusmagnusson146 You have a finite amount of water in your bucket. If you try to make it stretch over twice as much grass then neither patch will flourish and you will begin to crumble over how hard you are working for diminishing rewards.
      You could perhaps go through the motions with 2 partners, but it is impossible to have a mature and fulfilling relationship with 2 people at once over a meaningful length of time. It's not sustainable.

  • @CherryLipgloss1000
    @CherryLipgloss1000 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Marriage is not easy!! The lust at the beginning goes. Stepping out of your marriage with someone else is totally pointless, as pretty soon that lust will fizzle out too. What are you left with then?!
    Be faithful. If you’re frustrated - SAY!! There is SO much you can do. This is coming from someone who has been with my husband for 15 years. I’m ashamed to admit at one point, I was repulsed by the thought of sex with my man. That scared me so much. So, I put my big girls pants on and focused on making it work. I was totally honest with myself and with him. He is a good man, heard me & we committed to improving things. Day by day.
    Marriage is a dance, it needs to be learned and relearned.

    • @wildonez3076
      @wildonez3076 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Don't build on lust! That's the problem! Lust has no place in marriage. Lust will never be satisfied. Replace lust with love and healing!

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agreed! I've been in the same spot with my husband.. married 35 years. Love is a choice to stay with the man you made a commitment with, despite changing feelings... I have gone through dry periods where l didn't feel like l loved my husband.. but l knew that it was because we were both running 100 mph in what felt like opposite directions.. him trying to work hard to provide for his family, and me trying to keep up a house full of five children.. there are some lonely times in every marriage.. not once did l ever think that bringing another person into the marriage would help it.. I thought we should separate for a short time just to think things out, but my husband was adamant that separating was one step short of divorce, and that living in the same house would force us to work through our issues.. we never did separate.. we worked it out.

  • @morgancorbett3497
    @morgancorbett3497 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I think he handled this really well. He didn’t coddle her and held her accountable but still gave her some avenues for change and hope for the future in healing. It’s okay to just take the L and say you fucked up.

  • @zoraster3749
    @zoraster3749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +215

    If anyone suggests an “open” relationship, man or woman, you open the door and send them on their way. They’ve made a lifelong decision.
    When you take the garbage to the curb you don’t bring it back into your house and sift through it.
    It’s done. Move on.

    • @janemonroe7547
      @janemonroe7547 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🙏

    • @cb4354
      @cb4354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thats a big generalization. There are many couples who feel more so connected with each other who are involved with swinging, threesomes etc. A lot of people can seperate sex and love. To a lot of people sex is just a fun activity and doesn't need to be an emotional thing.

    • @BlueStreak706
      @BlueStreak706 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s good! Nicely put.

    • @mmaybee2353
      @mmaybee2353 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@cb4354 “having fun” is exactly what emotions are. Saying to not have emotions during sex is ridiculous.

    • @same.7939
      @same.7939 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯

  • @justlivelovelaughfrugally
    @justlivelovelaughfrugally 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    If I was him, I would divorce her. She wanted fun, thought the grass was greener on the other side. It wasn’t. Now, she’s looking for sympathy.

  • @avilla4013
    @avilla4013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    I'm starting to see this more and more, mainly with couples who got together very early. It's like they feel like they're missing out especially nowadays where the majority are single and having multiple partners. She found out the grass ain't greener on the other side. Now she's trying to backtrack and say "SIKE. I was just playing"! Her husband probably had a better experience and she probably thought she was gonna be left behind. Maybe she's better off single. These are all my guesses though. Just sucks that marriages are broken up for some temporary fun.

    • @sueblack5794
      @sueblack5794 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Here is the sad truth...a LOT of women marry men they don't love. They marry to marry, marry because that is what you are supposed to do, marry the first man who asks. Then end up miserable the older they get because they married an idea rather than the person.

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      "they'' you mean ''she''

    • @LolaDelMarCaribe
      @LolaDelMarCaribe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I mean I have been with my husband since I was 16 I don’t really think that’s the issue I think it’s more of her lack of maturity in general, if she thought the grass was greener on the other side that just shows she is naive and didn’t take accountability for issues in their marriage, blaming childhood trauma seems like a scape goat. She wanted to try out other men that’s it. She was bored and needed a hobby that didn’t involve sleeping with someone else

    • @belindagarza3958
      @belindagarza3958 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dont blame it on early marriage. I've seen plenty of young marriages work beautifully. Its immaturity thats the problem.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      i think you're spot on. i saw this situation from the other standpoint. a colleague's husband asked to open things up. she didn't want to but felt she had to. they even had a spare room for their trysts. his flame was hot but it burned out fast. he basically had an excuse to sleep with his hot coworker, but she wasn't interested in anything beyond a quick hookup. turns out she just got off on the flirting. anyway, the wife eventually met someone and they're still going strong while her husband's tryst is over. he can't find anyone else. i think he just comes across as trying too hard and creepy. meanwhile, the wife's boyfriend practically lives in their spare room bc he's over all the time.

  • @xfaroutzx3637
    @xfaroutzx3637 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Wow...this woman's husband loves her to no end. For a man to step aside and allow you to have a boyfriend who he has to listen to you talk about and sleep with, that man must be so in love. I can't even image the pain that he suffered watching all this. He only went and found a partner as a way to numb the pain and distract himself. Poor thing. Girl you better grab onto that man tight, kiss him and tell him you love him every single day and spend the rest of your waking days making it up to him.

    • @nryanmusic
      @nryanmusic ปีที่แล้ว +13

      thats not love

    • @jborrego2406
      @jborrego2406 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      No he needs to leave he dumps his gf . Next month she will find another man lol

    • @stevecarey2030
      @stevecarey2030 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      The husband doesn't love her. He loves not being alone and it's easier to stay with her than finding someone else. he has low self esteem.

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He is way too passive about this!

  • @omgurheadsgone
    @omgurheadsgone ปีที่แล้ว +5

    5:00 - “after I cheated on my husband openly, I didn’t eat for two weeks POOR ME, now my husband doesn’t want me anymore! *surprise pikachu face*”. Jesus this woman takes zero accountability for the situation she created and is trying to play the victim. Pathetic.

  • @wongtong6315
    @wongtong6315 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Don’t say we! You said it yourself, you told your husband and he agreed just to make you happy.

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The fact that he agreed to this is what bothers me, obviously this guy has zero self worth and respect for himself

    • @JP-uy9kq
      @JP-uy9kq ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Regardless of his answer, its over. Saying yes might buy him time for a proper escape plan.

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That is on him. He is grown. She asked. He lied.

  • @otisdriftwood6723
    @otisdriftwood6723 2 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    I had an open marriage to but my wife forgot to tell me about it

    • @dgkallday9
      @dgkallday9 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      That’s just an “entanglement”. Celebrities do it so that means it’s ok! 😉

    • @colmwhateveryoulike3240
      @colmwhateveryoulike3240 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      :( Glad you can joke about it.

    • @jcvchristianson1161
      @jcvchristianson1161 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Same with my (former) husband. Alley cats gonna cat.

    • @doubleRRking
      @doubleRRking 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@colmwhateveryoulike3240 Time 😇

    • @otisdriftwood6723
      @otisdriftwood6723 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jcvchristianson1161 🤣🤣🤣 it would be nice if they had left us in on it huh LOL

  • @carlaritchie331
    @carlaritchie331 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    She still sounds like she is filled with excuses, blaming everything/everyone else, justifying her poor decision and the consequences she's now facing. Is she sincerely remorseful that she turned away from her marriage or still just wanting what she can't have in the moment? If she doesn't even care enough about her husband's feelings to have pursued a deep understanding of what she did to him and how SHE needs to repair the trust she broke in their relationship, her selfishness is not going to turn this marriage around.

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      this is normal: excuses, high expectations, over-valued....

    • @mxusa8383
      @mxusa8383 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Standard female behavior is what you see played out. The husband needs to kick this chick to the curb. She’s a master at rationalizing poor beliefs and behaviors. Classic female statement. “I don’t FEEL emotionally connected” female translation: I wanna PHYSICALLY sleep with someone 🥴 straight delusional thinking

    • @rapsack7058
      @rapsack7058 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly this woman is still a total selfish selfcentered woman. AND now when her main partner her affair partner ended the relationship, she wants now close it again and back to normality and now she cares that her husband has still outside fun.
      This woman has still only her own needs in focus. She does not care about her husband at all. ALl about what she cares is that she get attention and validation from out side to boost her own very fragil ego.
      I dont know if she can repair anything. She need to learn to build up a stable inner self esteem to be not depnding on attention and validation from out side. If the husband has still the patience and good will with her, than she might start to see what demage she cause at him. She might start with care ,mainly for him and than he might give anything back again.
      Now this husband has a seperate emotional satisfying life with another woman. They are only married on the paper and maybe FWB.
      I think she destroyed the marriage and when she asks about closing the relationship, he will go for seperation.

  • @antilaw9911
    @antilaw9911 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Easy to take things for granted when you have options. This is sn important lesson that needs to be taught earlier in life

  • @abubarrie88
    @abubarrie88 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    So you didn’t want to fix your relationship before when the open relationship was working for you but now that it’s not working for you is when you want to put in effort to fixing your relationship 😂

    • @viviennedunbar3374
      @viviennedunbar3374 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      100%. What a piece of work.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She's for the streets

  • @GardenerEarthGuy
    @GardenerEarthGuy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    The husband has no respect for her any longer- she broke marriage vows and there's no fixing this.

  • @brandondaniels9471
    @brandondaniels9471 2 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    God Bless John for not being judgmental, for being patient and walking this girl through this whole thing. This 18 minute call was probably better than any marriage counseling she would've gotten.

    • @juneelle370
      @juneelle370 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      If she meant so much to him, why didn’t he open up to her with emotional intimacy. I personally don’t believe in non-monogamy but I n on know women in DEAD marriages… where the man doesn’t connect emotionally at all, If she wanted emotional intimacy and she went to the lengths to propose to get it elsewhere and he said OK rather than… yeah let’s go to counseling so I can not be a dead person in a marriage… it’s messed up both ways. It’s a terrible thing to be with someone, married, and yet feel utterly alone and lonely. And women are in a thought bind when they’re married to a dead man… it’s why most women initiate divorce… my guess is it would be the biggest reason for that. So maybe these mistakes can at at least shake things up since they both already did the mistake… certainly better than a secret affair done by either sex.

    • @ntmn8444
      @ntmn8444 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@BobDevV yes. The thing is, we’ve stopped shaming people and people need to be reminded that there are consequences to their actions. It’s uncomfortable for everyone but it’s how people grow.

    • @computernerd8157
      @computernerd8157 ปีที่แล้ว

      You need a Red Pill and so does he. She does not lovr him. He should of left her the minutr she suggested it. If he decides to stay, he is only doing it so he wobt get raped in the courts. I would demote her to room mate until I make a good case for divorce assuming he does not live in a no fault state. Either ways, I would of divorced the Garden tool.

    • @jmkiser33
      @jmkiser33 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@juneelle370 she goes to him about opening up the marriage with a partner in mind … and we’re questioning him about his emotional intimacy???? She’s killing him and he’s the problem? I wish that it was him who called into the show because he needs an advocate in the worst way. He needs someone close to him to tell him that he’s worth more than what she’s putting him through. Of course he’s dead inside. I would be too if she was my wife.

    • @doomguy9049
      @doomguy9049 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jmkiser33 100%

  • @vanessaescoto3887
    @vanessaescoto3887 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    The Lord is the only marriage healer.
    Nothing else will work and will Still leave you empty.

  • @jle4433
    @jle4433 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    She wants to be with her husband because he's a better provider than the other guy, not because she likes anything else about him.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The other guy has no plan to support her.. he's just using her for easy sex! Why would he want to support her? She fell right into his hand and he has all the sex with no ties or restrictions.. she has realized this about now, and knows she is about to lose her meal ticket with her husband.. I don't believe she loves her husband, she just wants to be supported by him.. that's why he needs to move on.. she's proven to him what she thinks of him

  • @viviennedunbar3374
    @viviennedunbar3374 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    OMG we have been married 27 years, both of us would be horrified and devastated if the other suggested an “Open Marriage” the marriage would be dead on arrival. I have such an awesome husband and he is is crazy about me, why the hell would I do such a stupid, stupid thing? People are insane.

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Now, u are just plain bragging and acting superior!
      Many married people are hurting for whatever reason , feel ignored or mistreated by their spouses, etc! Just because u got lucky with ur spouse, do not devalue other people’s bad experiences in their marriages!
      People do not explore the idea of an ‘open marriage’ when they are ‘happy’ in their marriage! As u ought to know!
      Try to have empathy for people who are hurting and disillusioned with their relationships!
      Telling them how ‘wonderful and perfect’ ur own marriage is , is definitely not the way! It’s like pouring acid on their wounds!

  • @David-wo9un
    @David-wo9un 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    How could anyone be OK with their wife being intimate with another dude? Even if he went along with it to keep her happy, how/why would he want to touch her when she came home from a rendezvous?

    • @petesfohn5659
      @petesfohn5659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      nope.....monk--mode

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Right? Just gross

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sewer pit! 🤮🤮

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      His passivity was his downfall! She may have interpreted it as his not caring about her nor their relationship ! If he had acted decisively and rejected her suggestion outright and instead discussed together how to improve their marriage, etc, she would have likely been impressed and agreed with him, recommitting to each other!

    • @Psyshimmer
      @Psyshimmer 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@lenitaa7938 Or her lack of commitment was her downfall. You're assigning zero agency and responsibility to the woman and all of it to the man.

  • @JaketheJust
    @JaketheJust 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    There’s a reason why one of the vows says, “forsaking all others.”

    • @kevkev2380
      @kevkev2380 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good sir I agree completely, but I'm pretty sure these people aren't following biblical principles in the least.

    • @ramcharge2704
      @ramcharge2704 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Most often "Christians " who go to church all the time are the ones who make the big mistakes like this ( not always) but but they make bad choices and sometimes want to work them out

  • @annam4313
    @annam4313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    In my opinion, the marriage is not open to others, it is open-honest between two people. Every day my husband and I practice gratitude and act of kindness. I must be very selfish but I can't imagine sharing my husband with others.

  • @jayfaisa3171
    @jayfaisa3171 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    My ex-girlfriend basically wanted this but fortunately the other guy she was chasing didn’t want her… and neither did I. Pathetic.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sweet! 😂
      ..you dodged a bullet there!

  • @seeno1
    @seeno1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Husband deserves way better. She initiated it, and things didn’t workout. This ‘friend’ just sweet talked her for some quick vagina under the guise of “I’ll be your shoulder to cry on”. The oldest trick in the book. And she gave it to him because of her lack of impulse control. The friend bounced after it wasn’t hitting the same a few months in. She made a big decision to make more commitment to this strange man friend to the sacrifice of her marriage. That’s selfish. She was hoping this friend would commit to her and she could move on from the husband. But the friend wasnt asking for more commitment. He didn’t want that. He liked seeing her on occasion. He just wanted to hit. She chased him away. Shes an immature idiot who got ‘got’.
    First if I were the husband I would’ve consulted a divorce attorney as soon as she came to me with that open marriage bullshit. I mean hello. But if I were him now, I’d be like “Nope I want to stay open, I’m very happy where things are right now.” In reality I would be dating other women for marriage. And if I found someone who I was sure would fit that, I would divorce my wife. Just as she likely intended to do me. She deserves to be left behind. She wanted to test the waters, well it works both ways. It’s a hard lesson, but an important one about loyalty and commitment. It ain’t always easy but sleeping outside the marriage is never the solution.
    Ultimately that’s me though. The husband seems like a doormat with how she basically said he’s the one that wants to keep things going, despite everything she did to him.

  • @drazicmilosovic1065
    @drazicmilosovic1065 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Play stupid games - win stupid prizes. Obligation is what an adult uses to balance off gratification, so as to not destroy what is already a challenging endeavour.

  • @fauxbro1983
    @fauxbro1983 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Lol. The husband was getting more play then her, so now she's upset hahaha

    • @juneelle370
      @juneelle370 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You have an active imagination😂

    • @mr.j3371
      @mr.j3371 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Been reading a ton of reddit stories and in open relationships men end up winning.

    • @dianeathoacardinalridge8788
      @dianeathoacardinalridge8788 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@mr.j3371 tell that to Will Smith

    • @mr.j3371
      @mr.j3371 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dianeathoacardinalridge8788 lol, but in my comment I did say “men” haha

  • @egr3071
    @egr3071 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    It takes work. Each spouse has to put in effort and be willing to spice things up with each other because boredom will come. Non monogamy is dangerous and can cause so much brokenness

  • @apriljohnson1067
    @apriljohnson1067 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I was a hospice nurse for years. In medicine, no one wants to say, “it’s over,” and so we wait, and wait and treat and treat and talk about “not giving up.” Metastatic cancer, end stage heart failure, uncontrollable COPD. Can’t say “it’s over.” When I hear these relationship stories, and I hear the advice to keep going, I can see pretty clearly these relationships should be hospiced, but the “experts” tell them to keep going? Why? Life should be enjoyed because IT ENDS and ending a relationship or a marriage is not death. Move on. Live life while you still can. No emotional connection? Sorry, you don’t get that back. No, you don’t. I was a hospice nurse, remember? Do you know how many stories I’ve heard at the end of life? Stories of unhappiness because someone thought they should keep going..

  • @StartingFromZeroPod
    @StartingFromZeroPod ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I like how John knows how to give tough love. He goes a bit easier on women which is the right way to do it, as men we need the truth and need to be called out directly for our bad behavior. Women are different and he does a great job keeping it real.

  • @lorinmotta9585
    @lorinmotta9585 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I can’t prove it, but I feel like if this was a guy calling, John would be all up in his business about this. Stop letting women get away with this bull crap. Women are allowed to wreak havoc on men but no one cares because (most of the time) it’s not physical abuse. I hope the husband leaves her.

    • @SM-fm4eb
      @SM-fm4eb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It sounded like both persons are in pain and have their own past. She mentioned she had some issues growing up. Childhood dharmas and its emotional life impacting don’t discriminates gender. Don’t know what their individual choices but wish them recover well individually and maybe together as well.

    • @David-wo9un
      @David-wo9un 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It’s common for him to give women a pass; accountability is not something he asks of/expects from the women who call. He also degrades men based on a woman’s side of a relationship story.

    • @SM-fm4eb
      @SM-fm4eb 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@David-wo9un. Total new to his channel. I did see one other male caller from another post and he seems to help him in similar way. But will see. Thanks for pointing this out.

  • @hansonallie
    @hansonallie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I feel like some ppl forget that shame can have its appropriate place…

    • @belindagarza3958
      @belindagarza3958 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I keep telling people that shame can be a healthy , useful emotion.

  • @veronicav575
    @veronicav575 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    She needs to acknowledge to him what she did, which was cheat, and repent of it. There’s no healing from that or anything else until she does. She can’t just decide “oh, I’m just gonna put down that shame and move on”. She damaged her marriage, she needs to acknowledge that. She’s ashamed for a real valid reason.

  • @JodiTW
    @JodiTW 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Blaming everything on her husband but she doesn’t even care how he feels. She has no interest in actually fixing her marriage.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That seemed very evident when John asked her how her husband was doing and her response was "he's just there".. pathetic!! That says it all! She doesn't love this man.. she's about to lose her meal ticket!! This husband needs to run because she doesn't care about him at all.. sadly he was the escape route out of her messed up life.

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is fascinating how u claim to know everything about them and their relationship ! Must be ur psychic powers!

  • @xelazigadenus
    @xelazigadenus ปีที่แล้ว +7

    People act like you should be accepting for others who choose polygamy. Nope. It’s wrong. Why even get or remain married if you just want to be with someone else? When i talk about this with friends everyone says “oh I wouldn’t choose that but others can” no I think we should absolutely condemn this type of behavior. It just leads to sadness and heartbreak. Especially in a marriage.

    • @Jkaye13
      @Jkaye13 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said!
      Completely agree! 👍🏻

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Polygamy is entirely different from an open marriage!