Those truths really were hard to listen to. But thank you so much for that video, Karine! My step-"dad" is extremely toxic manipulator and I suffer 20 years already. I hope this video will help many people in similar situation to gain strenght and courage and skills to fight back. We shall never give up on our sanity and soul. We shall protect them and expose these people for what they do.
This is why I pick my “yes” friends as my last option to help me with something and I treat them with so much respect. I was a former people pleaser so now when I meet people who I see have those tendencies I make sure I barely ask them for anything and treat them with so much kindness. Be kind to your people pleaser friends, there’s a reason their that way! 🧡
So true. People see your images in social media, and you have a career and nice job and nice clothes and they see that as money grab. Start asking you for money. And they resent you highly when you don’t give it.
This literally happens to me in every relationship romantic,family and association 😂I reply “No your not a bad person… the very thing you did to me was bad …don’t get off topic”😂😂they freeze up especially because they aren’t used to being on my bad side..unfortunately standing up for yourself is off putting…to a person that tries to put a wool over your eyes💯
It’s takes a lot of courage not to feel guilty about people close to you bringing their problems to you to sequester your emotions. I have become guiltless. Period.
I used to be that person too - always the one people go to for help or advice but I woke the hell up a couple of years ago! Pro tip: take advantage of the dnd feature on your phone. When I’m working, i don’t care who you are but unless you live with me, you ain’t gettin through and I’m not responding to calls and texts until many hours later when I’m good and ready dammit. They’ll learn real quickly that i am not to be depended upon. I am single, i work full time, and I have relatives who I am responsible for. People need to choose better. Stop bothering people whose lives are already full 😂
I just cut off my toxic mother and brother. For years, my mom abused me both physically and verbally and the rest of my family sat back and said nothing except for my grandparents. I will never forget when she threw an iron at my head and beat me so bad that I had bruises on my body as “ punishment “. For years, I was treated like crap and used by my mom and brothers. My 25 year old brother is a bum who keeps making bad decisions and hanging around the wrong people. The other one is a drug addict. Yet again I had to save my brother last Sunday because my mom begged me too. He won’t grow up and take responsibility for his actions. I have loaned him money, gave him food, and gave him my toiletries. He never even checks in on me and only calls me when he needs something. Even my uncle told me it’s my responsibility to take care of him when he is 25 years old now. You know what hurts though. It’s the fact that my mom wouldn’t do for me what she did for my brother. When I moved out, I will never forget when I simply asked her for a bookcase and she yelled at me, cursed me out, and said I deserve nothing. The only one who was there for me was my grandma. Nobody else was there for me. Yet she has been paying my brothers rent for years. When I was depressed, I was accused of having an “ attitude “ by my mom and brothers. I have been manipulated and treated like my only purpose is to take care of my younger brother. It’s not my responsibility to take care of a grown man just because he made bad decisions in life. It’s not my fault that my youngest brother became a drug addict. Im not the one who kicked out my youngest brother because he is gay. I am so tired of this. I’m tired of being the scapegoat and the cashcow. I just want her for once to take responsibility for what she did and stop playing the victim. My grandma told me I was wrong for cutting them off but I don’t care. I just can’t take being manipulated, used, and abused anymore. I had enough.
I can feel the hurt through your words, I just want to hug you. Please don’t feel guilty, God doesn’t desire this type of lifestyle for you. He wants a life of peace, joy and calm. This seems so chaotic. It’s ok to move and change your number and disconnect completely. You will notice that you thrive more and the true healing can began. Your brother is 25.. he is able bodied and can work. Take care of YOU first because you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t help anyone if you’re in bad shape! Please escape this! Lots of love, hugs and kisses ♥️♥️😘
May God give you a better future, a happy life with a family of your own ,and heal you from all of these traumas. I send you lots of love and virtual hugs❤❤
Karine, this video is so REAL & so true!! Another thing people do is “dry begging”… they tell you about a issue they are having, hoping that you would offer to help… instead of saying directly: “can you help me with this”… I’ve learned a long time ago, to not suggest or offer ANYTHING. I’m so unbothered. It may seem heartless, but generosity of the emotions has to be protected.
That is literally a pet peeve of mine omg I cannot stand it! I wholeheartedly agree with your take on it, not my/our problem 💅🏾 nope 👎🏾 my only response is uh huh 🤔 mmmm mmm 🤔 😩😭 works every time 😎🤷🏽♀️ they’ll think twice before complaining about their problems all awhile indirectly asking for help 🙄😒😑
We gotta love from a distance and pray for those friends/family members who keep playing games. They’ll find someone else to manipulate once they realize you’re not falling for their tricks. The hope is that one day God brings them to their knees and they start seeking Him, ultimately leading them to start loving people instead of using them. Great video as always, Karine. God bless!! 🙌🏽
I’m happy that I have that natural aloof mindset of not caring what people think when I say “No”. I love having freedom and having an identity 😊😊😊. Whenever I say “Yes”, when I really wanted to say “No”, it makes me feel uncomfortable 🤢
Yesss & personally I can’t be friends with ppl who say yes when they mean no .. cuz it builds resentment & then they act like you don’t care about their boundaries that they never established to begin with
I'm so quick to say no😂 Unless someone is in a DIRE situation, they know not to contact me. Once you give them an inch, ppl want to take a whole mile. I'm good.
YEEEEESSSS - I’ve gone through that twice now. I am 37 now but feel like I am in my early 20s socially due to the transformations I’ve gone through. I done cut out whole circles of acquaintances, friends and family members of those people due to toxic dynamics. Long story short, I have had to meet, mingle and basically start over again from 0. It’s humbling but refreshing at the same time and for me it’s better late than never.
Karine, thank you for teaching us the cold, hard truth about life and relationships, especially in such a relaxing way that doesn't put others down. These are lessons that the whole world could profit from, and I am very grateful to be one of the few who actually hear them. God bless you! :) Edit: As I'm watching this video, I'm being reminded of my ex and my ex-best friend who would emotionally manipulate me and never really cared about me when it was my turn to be comforted. All I was there for was to make them feel better about themselves at the cost of feeling worse about myself when all their negativity was transferred to me. Everything you mentioned really struck a chord with me
Going through the same thoughts right now on a friendship and how drained I was emotionally constantly being their therapist and always feeling so down and negative after they confided in me for emotional support.
That slow response text when it’s not about them…I can relate!! She’s now going through a break-up and expects me to call/text regularly yet she dismisses me when I do. She’s already telling others “I’m not there for her” because I’ve stopped! SMH!!!
Same here all my friend did was drain me with her problems but when it was my turn to feel comfort she was never there or would respond to me. But now I’m the problem cause i no longer want to associate with her.
Same here all my friend did was drain me with her problems but when it was my turn to feel comfort she was never there or would respond to me. But now I’m the problem cause i no longer want to associate with her.
Some ppl around me were just like that. If i talk to someone they have beef with, they would ditch me immediately. I think it's too childish, and we are at university😩i talk to ppl and I don't care who have beef with who.
Thanks for this! This alone is why I am so horrible at taking compliments - I would always hear nice things about me only before I was needed to do something. I feel like people are facetious sometimes - im in my mid 30s, and been in therapy for 2 years, and within that time I cut off A LOT of people I used to literally sell my soul for. Wonder why I always felt triggered and like I had to "keep up" - I recently in the past year finally found people who just complimented me and needed NOTHING. Like for the first time, I'm becoming trusting of people and feel like I'm being liked for me! I can really lead with my own personality instead of the one that tries to be super likeable. - and another thing that got me was not sharing your life on social! Yes! I was in and out of homelessness in my 20s and got my ish together some years ago - lifestyle totally different, and I had a friend literally come over to my home and tried to record my place for HIS social media...talking about "my boy came a long way" - i ducked out of that vid so fast - told him to put his cam away. People are soooo weird!!!
Thank you for your message it just reminded me one of my friends last Saturday I was shooting my youtube video and my phone rang and I forwarded it to the message I will call back within a minute, there was a knock on my door I opened the door and it was my friend she wants grave to make potatoes ok that's fine gave her some is not something new to me, but the problem was I am a new youtuber when I started my channel I sent the video to her and she didn't subscribe so after about four videos in I asked her what do you think about the channel she said "I don't have time to watch those things "ok that's fine. when she came for the grave she was like are you doing your videos I answered yes she replied keep going when you start getting paid I will come for some my reactions was like Haa I couldn't believe she said that without thinking about she not having time to watch my channel I haven't digest the hole conversion yet can you believe that. PEOPLE!
Yes all true. One girl at work used me as her own personal therapist, to the point when one morning her computer wasn't working and and she suddenly called my name out across the office to ask me why? What the hell do I know?! I don't work in IT. Now we don't work together anymore she is nowhere to be seen.
Yes these are the ones who could get you fired. If a co-worker ever complains about management or other co-workers don’t join in by any means. No matter how much they seem nice or friendly. Don’t give in. Lastly, yes it’s rare to find real relationships with co-workers. Don’t engage in their trauma filled lives or problematic relationships they rant about. You can just listen but don’t engage or start to spill your own personal life to them.
Gurl u are sooo anointed! Praise be to GOD. Listening to u it’s like a big sister, best aunt, favorite cuz, great mentor! Thank u for all the videos and all the time, energy, love, resilience, grace, and truth u provide !
I love how you adressed these manipulative tactics that are things we deal with in ALL types of relationships It seems that romantic relationships get most of the focus when it comes to discussions of manipulation or abuse, when the fact is most of us have at least one family member in our lives that cause us these issues. I am 31 and dealing with some of these situations with my mother. Videos like this help me to know i am dealing with things in a healthy way, and to keep my boundaries strong, which is hard to do when you love the person. Thank you for sharing Karine 🙏💖
Yes my Haitian father was absent for 20 years told me God told him not to be in my life, blew up at me because I didn’t say thank you when he paid for one night at a hotel when I moved to Florida just me and my baby. Fake apologized to me so he could look good at his birthday. Then told me I’m being disrespectful and ghosted me because I asked him in a group chat when is he going to take initiative to spend time with me instead of expecting me to pick up the phone every 5 seconds. No else in the family group chat said anything and he never answered my questions just started attacking. Then my Tati text she doesn’t know what it’s all about but talk to him directly. I’m not talking to a grown man who gladly told me he didn’t care about me being on time for work trying to keep me on the phone so he can yell at me.
I absolutely AGREE with this!! Family will be the worst and friends! Karine this video is really on time ! This is my testimony and walk on this earth now I’m standing in my power and saying No or going Ghost to toxic and emotional abuse
I've been this way. I 've never felt good enough and I would look for validation by doing things for people until I realized that I don't matter to the persons. I had to self reflect; my childhood abandonment issues were at the root of this problem.
You're such an inspiration and impressive lady! I have always had a terrible relationship with my parents and never had anyone teach or support me so i really appreciate your help and guidance on relationships and personal development ☺️ Speaking on this subject, I recently drew boundaries with my mom in this way. She used to call on me whenever she needed me to perform emotional labor and be a free therapist. I stopped being available for that and it has definitely created more resentment on her end but I feel much more peace.
People don't seem to think it's self-ish to dump all of their problems on other people, but when someone says they get overwhelmed by that it's considered self-centered and rude. It's fine to comfort the people you care about in a mutual relationship. But manipulative people rarely ever reciprocate. It really sucks. ☹️
Relate so much to the last part, except my family are the “christians” who constantly pushing topics that I don’t care for. I’m left that behind to actually do good instead of just profess good.
I'm so sorry that anybody has a parent like that 💙. Always have your own best interests in mind. And "No" is a complete sentence. No explanation needed. If that's hard to say, then "That doesn't work for me" is also effective.
I love this video!! I definitely had to let people know to stop shoving down my throat their beliefs and most of them were Christians!! I found that most Christians once they find out that you’re not Christian they can’t stop trying to convince you of believing in the same things as them 😂 let people do them. It’s so called “Christians” out here that will try and force their beliefs onto others but then you see them the next day saying something about their astrology sign, or speaking on Karma lol 😂 please note astrology and karma are NOT Christian beliefs lol so while you were judging people who don’t believe in God you’re also supporting non-Christian beliefs lol make it make sense 😂 just respect everyone and mind your business. So many hypocrites it’s crazy 😂
you say “Haitian” but I still relate to how you feel about your culture and all. My family is straight from Mexico and I deal with basically the same things as you 😭
Dear Karine, this is one of the realest videos i‘ve ever watched on youtube. Relatable to the T. Thank you so much for the value You bring to this world and for just unapologetically shining Your Light! Really grateful, cause when You still are surrounded by people You have started holding accountable and speaking up against it can sometimes feel like You are the crazy one or at least the doubts can creep in from time to time in this weird transitioning phase old to new assertive self 😅 thank youuu!
She was saying the truth when she says that a parent (especially an absentee parent) doesn't care about your accomplishments in the same way you do. They care enough so they can calculate how they can use your accomplishments to benefit themselves. My absentee father all of a sudden wanted to live close to me. I said no thank you since I would not be able to take care of him when he ages after just meeting and knowing of his existence for 2 years. It is a delusional world and you need to also be delusional and stay in your world.
The way I clicked so fast in this video, because I know it’s going to be amazing as always! Btw Karine you look sooo pretty! The outfit and the hair is just ❤
You are so right about all of this. I literally stopped driving for years cause I had a hard time telling people no to rides. I didn’t have as much of a problem telling people no when it came to borrowing money unless I thought they desperately needed it but then I’d usually just buy the thing they said they desperately needed and give it to them. (It was only things needed for survival. So like food cause they didn’t have any, clothes for interviews, diapers , stuff like this.) Over time I realized some of them needed to get off their butts and get a job (this came when people thought they could ask for want. For example money towards tattoos, so they could go out, buy weed, stuff like that) and the others I cut off financially because I realized they had the nerve to bring life into the world with now plan on how they would care for this life and they couldn’t even take care of themselves. So now I only lend to people I know have the means to pay it back in a timely manner but I’ve also spaced out how often that maybe and I don’t lend more than $20 anymore cause that’s basically throw away money to me and if they don’t give it back it’s not a problem but I also most likely won’t lend to them again. Outside of that I also spent a lot of time alone so I stopped feeling obligated to go places or stay places when I feel uncomfortable. However with this one I might have spent a little to much time along cause most of the time now I just don’t feel like leaving home even though there are things and places I’d love to check out.
Listeeeeen u was speaking to my SOUL in this video, u r so right! Ive actually been working on this with myself for a couple months now; starting to say no and standing on it, and also making myself less available. Im really so nice and ready to help or pour into someone, but the hard truth is ppl are taking that energy for their benefit, but when i need it its quiet, when i call them out o n it its "everybody not the same/u cant expect things from ppl" etc. Its unrealistic for me to say ima start being mean and not be nice, BUT i have to start reserving my energy soley for myself not be so quick to give. Funny how when ppl notice that then attitudes start to change lol smdh
Love the look ❤️ I swear I’ve been there before but not in the way of being the first one called for help. Just the simplest things I would do and some people would find a way to make me feel bad about it even though I know it’s not wrong 🙄🙄. Thanks for the content Karine 😘❤️
@@karinealourdementalgems can you make a video on how to deal with toxic parents and how to identify them especially when you can’t move out yet. Please
Hi Karine, I hope you are doing well. Please can you make a video on friendship, I would like to know how you and your best friend met and became best friends friends and what age you guys met. I myself am a 19 year old who is seeking a best friend.❤
Thank you Karine for this well-articulated wisdom. Wish my future descendants would have watch your videos. You are one of the few women who talks about leveling up yet emphasizing also the importance of having a good character and values in more detailed way. I am watching from Southeast Asia.
I’m the yes .. person !! And I have two people ❤ who would tell me yes .. And when they tell me no .. I understand so much and I adore these people 😩😩😩. I can’t wait to get rich . I’m spoil them so much ❤
“You took it outta context” Karine: “Please..you don’t even know what context means..” THIS IS THE ONEEEE☝🏾😂lmaooooo you never miss! Thanks for another banger of a video ❤️❤️❤️
This video came at such a perfect time. I feel like it's a sign, because it is exactly what I needed to hear in my current situation. I'm sharing this! 💓🤝🏾
Yes to Haitian parents only talking about religion. I consider myself Christian but I feel like my Dad is very cult-ish I personally have had hugely positive experiences with Jesus and specific spirits from African spirituality where they protected me, and I did not ask for it but they made sure I was comfortable. Thank you Jesus for the sanctification. Last time I checked you’re only supposed to worship Jesus and His father God. But for a father to tell his child God told him not to be present for two decades is just downright demonic
The African diaspora is extremely religious regardless of what type of black you are than any other race alive on this planet because of fear. I’m not religious but I’m black american and my family is overly religious themselves. I left that stuff behind. I have a relationship with god but not religious aspects, I don’t go to church, I don’t participate in religion. I don’t need religion to keep me to be a good person or to treat people well. Once I let go of religion I no longer felt in fear or scared or like I was not able to enjoy my life. A lot of black people use religion to abuse their children and force us to live a certain way. They are toxic individuals unfortunately. Majority of religion has been misconstrued as well but they don’t want the truth. Then religion is male identified in my opinion and it’s like sexist towards women. God, the church, and gospel music is 3 different things which what the world isn’t prepared for. Most blinded people are heavily religious, half of them haven’t truly accepted god themselves. Shouting, speaking in tongues, and attending church doesn’t equal you have a genuine relationship with god. A lot of them come off like a death doomsday cult no offense.
![ละลาย (LALALYE) - DAOU PITTAYA ต้าห์อู๋ พิทยา [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wo6r9TgausI/mqdefault.jpg)
Watch “I’m not a nice person.. why I stopped smiling in public” NEXT th-cam.com/video/wf9S7BDNtZo/w-d-xo.html
Those truths really were hard to listen to. But thank you so much for that video, Karine! My step-"dad" is extremely toxic manipulator and I suffer 20 years already. I hope this video will help many people in similar situation to gain strenght and courage and skills to fight back. We shall never give up on our sanity and soul. We shall protect them and expose these people for what they do.
Givers need to set boundaries and limits because takers dont have any
saying no gets easier with each time
This is why I pick my “yes” friends as my last option to help me with something and I treat them with so much respect. I was a former people pleaser so now when I meet people who I see have those tendencies I make sure I barely ask them for anything and treat them with so much kindness. Be kind to your people pleaser friends, there’s a reason their that way! 🧡
Amen. Amen. Amen!!!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾loveeee this 🫂 ❤️🩹
"You cannot blame someone for your lack of self-control." 💯
Period!!! ❤
💯💯💯💯💯
Yes I need to memorize this for when I find myself manipulating and when I'm getting manipulated.
Own it ❤
“Become the very last person ppl call for help” sad but very true 💯
So true. People see your images in social media, and you have a career and nice job and nice clothes and they see that as money grab. Start asking you for money. And they resent you highly when you don’t give it.
"I'm such a bad person" haha that's a big one. Then they tie it into their childhood
This literally happens to me in every relationship romantic,family and association 😂I reply “No your not a bad person… the very thing you did to me was bad …don’t get off topic”😂😂they freeze up especially because they aren’t used to being on my bad side..unfortunately standing up for yourself is off putting…to a person that tries to put a wool over your eyes💯
It’s takes a lot of courage not to feel guilty about people close to you bringing their problems to you to sequester your emotions. I have become guiltless. Period.
I used to be that person too - always the one people go to for help or advice but I woke the hell up a couple of years ago! Pro tip: take advantage of the dnd feature on your phone. When I’m working, i don’t care who you are but unless you live with me, you ain’t gettin through and I’m not responding to calls and texts until many hours later when I’m good and ready dammit. They’ll learn real quickly that i am not to be depended upon. I am single, i work full time, and I have relatives who I am responsible for. People need to choose better. Stop bothering people whose lives are already full 😂
💯
I just cut off my toxic mother and brother. For years, my mom abused me both physically and verbally and the rest of my family sat back and said nothing except for my grandparents. I will never forget when she threw an iron at my head and beat me so bad that I had bruises on my body as “ punishment “. For years, I was treated like crap and used by my mom and brothers. My 25 year old brother is a bum who keeps making bad decisions and hanging around the wrong people. The other one is a drug addict. Yet again I had to save my brother last Sunday because my mom begged me too. He won’t grow up and take responsibility for his actions. I have loaned him money, gave him food, and gave him my toiletries. He never even checks in on me and only calls me when he needs something. Even my uncle told me it’s my responsibility to take care of him when he is 25 years old now. You know what hurts though. It’s the fact that my mom wouldn’t do for me what she did for my brother. When I moved out, I will never forget when I simply asked her for a bookcase and she yelled at me, cursed me out, and said I deserve nothing. The only one who was there for me was my grandma. Nobody else was there for me. Yet she has been paying my brothers rent for years. When I was depressed, I was accused of having an “ attitude “ by my mom and brothers. I have been manipulated and treated like my only purpose is to take care of my younger brother. It’s not my responsibility to take care of a grown man just because he made bad decisions in life. It’s not my fault that my youngest brother became a drug addict. Im not the one who kicked out my youngest brother because he is gay. I am so tired of this. I’m tired of being the scapegoat and the cashcow. I just want her for once to take responsibility for what she did and stop playing the victim. My grandma told me I was wrong for cutting them off but I don’t care. I just can’t take being manipulated, used, and abused anymore. I had enough.
It’s gonna take time for you too heal but trust me this isn’t the end of your story 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I can feel the hurt through your words, I just want to hug you. Please don’t feel guilty, God doesn’t desire this type of lifestyle for you. He wants a life of peace, joy and calm. This seems so chaotic. It’s ok to move and change your number and disconnect completely. You will notice that you thrive more and the true healing can began. Your brother is 25.. he is able bodied and can work. Take care of YOU first because you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t help anyone if you’re in bad shape! Please escape this! Lots of love, hugs and kisses ♥️♥️😘
May God give you a better future, a happy life with a family of your own ,and heal you from all of these traumas. I send you lots of love and virtual hugs❤❤
Please don't look back
I just did this today.. i cut my toxic mother and brother off... after 30 years... I have God. Im so proud of you!
Karine, this video is so REAL & so true!! Another thing people do is “dry begging”… they tell you about a issue they are having, hoping that you would offer to help… instead of saying directly: “can you help me with this”… I’ve learned a long time ago, to not suggest or offer ANYTHING. I’m so unbothered. It may seem heartless, but generosity of the emotions has to be protected.
That is literally a pet peeve of mine omg I cannot stand it! I wholeheartedly agree with your take on it, not my/our problem 💅🏾 nope 👎🏾 my only response is uh huh 🤔 mmmm mmm 🤔
😩😭 works every time 😎🤷🏽♀️ they’ll think twice before complaining about their problems all awhile indirectly asking for help 🙄😒😑
Regarding money. Been there believed they would pay me back. Tell them to go to the bank. They won't because bank wants their money back.
Also children and parents don’t have to like each other. But if your parents make your day to day life experience a hell, leave ‘em alone
We gotta love from a distance and pray for those friends/family members who keep playing games. They’ll find someone else to manipulate once they realize you’re not falling for their tricks. The hope is that one day God brings them to their knees and they start seeking Him, ultimately leading them to start loving people instead of using them. Great video as always, Karine. God bless!! 🙌🏽
Yes yes yes
I’m happy that I have that natural aloof mindset of not caring what people think when I say “No”. I love having freedom and having an identity 😊😊😊. Whenever I say “Yes”, when I really wanted to say “No”, it makes me feel uncomfortable 🤢
Yesss & personally I can’t be friends with ppl who say yes when they mean no .. cuz it builds resentment & then they act like you don’t care about their boundaries that they never established to begin with
@@_grapefruit You’re completely right! 👌It does build resentment.
I'm so quick to say no😂 Unless someone is in a DIRE situation, they know not to contact me. Once you give them an inch, ppl want to take a whole mile. I'm good.
Please talk about resilience and mental strength. Its hard especially when you lost many people due to your new self version.
That's when you know your doing right. Those people needed to go. Trust G-d.
YEEEEESSSS - I’ve gone through that twice now. I am 37 now but feel like I am in my early 20s socially due to the transformations I’ve gone through. I done cut out whole circles of acquaintances, friends and family members of those people due to toxic dynamics. Long story short, I have had to meet, mingle and basically start over again from 0. It’s humbling but refreshing at the same time and for me it’s better late than never.
"You can't blame someone else for your lack of self control"💫
Karine, thank you for teaching us the cold, hard truth about life and relationships, especially in such a relaxing way that doesn't put others down. These are lessons that the whole world could profit from, and I am very grateful to be one of the few who actually hear them. God bless you! :)
Edit: As I'm watching this video, I'm being reminded of my ex and my ex-best friend who would emotionally manipulate me and never really cared about me when it was my turn to be comforted. All I was there for was to make them feel better about themselves at the cost of feeling worse about myself when all their negativity was transferred to me.
Everything you mentioned really struck a chord with me
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for supporting and viewing :)❤
Going through the same thoughts right now on a friendship and how drained I was emotionally constantly being their therapist and always feeling so down and negative after they confided in me for emotional support.
That slow response text when it’s not about them…I can relate!!
She’s now going through a break-up and expects me to call/text regularly yet she dismisses me when I do. She’s already telling others “I’m not there for her” because I’ve stopped! SMH!!!
She ain’t worth your time, or friendship sis. Respect is reciprocal like Burna Boy said. Keep being you, drinking water, and living your best life 🥰
Same here all my friend did was drain me with her problems but when it was my turn to feel comfort she was never there or would respond to me. But now I’m the problem cause i no longer want to associate with her.
Same here all my friend did was drain me with her problems but when it was my turn to feel comfort she was never there or would respond to me. But now I’m the problem cause i no longer want to associate with her.
Giving real scorpio vibes with the whole look Karine😍 beautiful!🖤
Some ppl around me were just like that. If i talk to someone they have beef with, they would ditch me immediately. I think it's too childish, and we are at university😩i talk to ppl and I don't care who have beef with who.
What if they talk to someone you have beef with how would you feel
@@nataliambenzi7206 im not a child as i said above. I care about that person im talking to, not the person they are talking to
Thanks for this! This alone is why I am so horrible at taking compliments - I would always hear nice things about me only before I was needed to do something. I feel like people are facetious sometimes - im in my mid 30s, and been in therapy for 2 years, and within that time I cut off A LOT of people I used to literally sell my soul for. Wonder why I always felt triggered and like I had to "keep up" - I recently in the past year finally found people who just complimented me and needed NOTHING. Like for the first time, I'm becoming trusting of people and feel like I'm being liked for me! I can really lead with my own personality instead of the one that tries to be super likeable. - and another thing that got me was not sharing your life on social! Yes! I was in and out of homelessness in my 20s and got my ish together some years ago - lifestyle totally different, and I had a friend literally come over to my home and tried to record my place for HIS social media...talking about "my boy came a long way" - i ducked out of that vid so fast - told him to put his cam away. People are soooo weird!!!
Thank you for your message it just reminded me one of my friends last Saturday I was shooting my youtube video and my phone rang and I forwarded it to the message I will call back within a minute, there was a knock on my door I opened the door and it was my friend she wants grave to make potatoes ok that's fine gave her some is not something new to me,
but the problem was I am a new youtuber when I started my channel I sent the video to her and she didn't subscribe so after about four videos in I asked her what do you think about the channel she said "I don't have time to watch those things "ok that's fine. when she came for the grave she was like are you doing your videos I answered yes she replied keep going when you start getting paid I will come for some my reactions was like Haa I couldn't believe she said that without thinking about she not having time to watch my channel I haven't digest the hole conversion yet can you believe that. PEOPLE!
Yes all true. One girl at work used me as her own personal therapist, to the point when one morning her computer wasn't working and and she suddenly called my name out across the office to ask me why? What the hell do I know?! I don't work in IT.
Now we don't work together anymore she is nowhere to be seen.
Yes these are the ones who could get you fired. If a co-worker ever complains about management or other co-workers don’t join in by any means. No matter how much they seem nice or friendly. Don’t give in. Lastly, yes it’s rare to find real relationships with co-workers. Don’t engage in their trauma filled lives or problematic relationships they rant about. You can just listen but don’t engage or start to spill your own personal life to them.
@@Wealthismybirthright Totally agree.
Gurl u are sooo anointed! Praise be to GOD. Listening to u it’s like a big sister, best aunt, favorite cuz, great mentor! Thank u for all the videos and all the time, energy, love, resilience, grace, and truth u provide !
I love how you adressed these manipulative tactics that are things we deal with in ALL types of relationships It seems that romantic relationships get most of the focus when it comes to discussions of manipulation or abuse, when the fact is most of us have at least one family member in our lives that cause us these issues. I am 31 and dealing with some of these situations with my mother. Videos like this help me to know i am dealing with things in a healthy way, and to keep my boundaries strong, which is hard to do when you love the person. Thank you for sharing Karine 🙏💖
Yes my Haitian father was absent for 20 years told me God told him not to be in my life, blew up at me because I didn’t say thank you when he paid for one night at a hotel when I moved to Florida just me and my baby. Fake apologized to me so he could look good at his birthday.
Then told me I’m being disrespectful and ghosted me because I asked him in a group chat when is he going to take initiative to spend time with me instead of expecting me to pick up the phone every 5 seconds. No else in the family group chat said anything and he never answered my questions just started attacking.
Then my Tati text she doesn’t know what it’s all about but talk to him directly.
I’m not talking to a grown man who gladly told me he didn’t care about me being on time for work trying to keep me on the phone so he can yell at me.
Been there and sent boundaries and good vibes are happening. People have left my life because they can’t manipulate me anymore 😊
I absolutely AGREE with this!! Family will be the worst and friends! Karine this video is really on time ! This is my testimony and walk on this earth now I’m standing in my power and saying No or going Ghost to toxic and emotional abuse
My mother and grandmother. SMH
I've been this way. I 've never felt good enough and I would look for validation by doing things for people until I realized that I don't matter to the persons. I had to self reflect; my childhood abandonment issues were at the root of this problem.
You're such an inspiration and impressive lady! I have always had a terrible relationship with my parents and never had anyone teach or support me so i really appreciate your help and guidance on relationships and personal development ☺️
Speaking on this subject, I recently drew boundaries with my mom in this way. She used to call on me whenever she needed me to perform emotional labor and be a free therapist. I stopped being available for that and it has definitely created more resentment on her end but I feel much more peace.
People don't seem to think it's self-ish to dump all of their problems on other people, but when someone says they get overwhelmed by that it's considered self-centered and rude. It's fine to comfort the people you care about in a mutual relationship. But manipulative people rarely ever reciprocate. It really sucks. ☹️
Relate so much to the last part, except my family are the “christians” who constantly pushing topics that I don’t care for. I’m left that behind to actually do good instead of just profess good.
I'm so sorry that anybody has a parent like that 💙. Always have your own best interests in mind. And "No" is a complete sentence. No explanation needed. If that's hard to say, then "That doesn't work for me" is also effective.
I REALLY REALLY NEEDED THIS😭😭
I can relate so much, I cry😭
I love this video!! I definitely had to let people know to stop shoving down my throat their beliefs and most of them were Christians!! I found that most Christians once they find out that you’re not Christian they can’t stop trying to convince you of believing in the same things as them 😂 let people do them. It’s so called “Christians” out here that will try and force their beliefs onto others but then you see them the next day saying something about their astrology sign, or speaking on Karma lol 😂 please note astrology and karma are NOT Christian beliefs lol so while you were judging people who don’t believe in God you’re also supporting non-Christian beliefs lol make it make sense 😂 just respect everyone and mind your business. So many hypocrites it’s crazy 😂
Exactly - no lies were told here sis
Exactly
💎💎💎 so much facts, sighh
Ma’am you are looking absolutely stunning! I love your content so much and it’s brought me out of dark places! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
you say “Haitian” but I still relate to how you feel about your culture and all. My family is straight from Mexico and I deal with basically the same things as you 😭
You resemble Tony Braxton! Great video .
Facts luv your channel and your videos
Dear Karine, this is one of the realest videos i‘ve ever watched on youtube. Relatable to the T. Thank you so much for the value You bring to this world and for just unapologetically shining Your Light! Really grateful, cause when You still are surrounded by people You have started holding accountable and speaking up against it can sometimes feel like You are the crazy one or at least the doubts can creep in from time to time in this weird transitioning phase old to new assertive self 😅 thank youuu!
You are the only church I need! Thank you for your voice 💜☔
Thank you.The suicide threat manipulation has been used against me by two individuals; the first one being my father. Good talk. ❤
She was saying the truth when she says that a parent (especially an absentee parent) doesn't care about your accomplishments in the same way you do. They care enough so they can calculate how they can use your accomplishments to benefit themselves. My absentee father all of a sudden wanted to live close to me. I said no thank you since I would not be able to take care of him when he ages after just meeting and knowing of his existence for 2 years. It is a delusional world and you need to also be delusional and stay in your world.
Karine I love how you use your platforms, you go girl! Good stuff, helpful.
The way I clicked so fast in this video, because I know it’s going to be amazing as always!
Btw Karine you look sooo pretty! The outfit and the hair is just ❤
Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy it 🫶🏾♥️
No thanks. I want people to come to me if they need help. I will set my own boundaries.
OMG I LOVE when you are with your curly hair!!💕😍💕
When I saw the tittle of this video, I knew gurl you would not be here to play! Thank you for the lesson Karine ❤
You are so right about all of this. I literally stopped driving for years cause I had a hard time telling people no to rides. I didn’t have as much of a problem telling people no when it came to borrowing money unless I thought they desperately needed it but then I’d usually just buy the thing they said they desperately needed and give it to them. (It was only things needed for survival. So like food cause they didn’t have any, clothes for interviews, diapers , stuff like this.) Over time I realized some of them needed to get off their butts and get a job (this came when people thought they could ask for want. For example money towards tattoos, so they could go out, buy weed, stuff like that) and the others I cut off financially because I realized they had the nerve to bring life into the world with now plan on how they would care for this life and they couldn’t even take care of themselves. So now I only lend to people I know have the means to pay it back in a timely manner but I’ve also spaced out how often that maybe and I don’t lend more than $20 anymore cause that’s basically throw away money to me and if they don’t give it back it’s not a problem but I also most likely won’t lend to them again. Outside of that I also spent a lot of time alone so I stopped feeling obligated to go places or stay places when I feel uncomfortable. However with this one I might have spent a little to much time along cause most of the time now I just don’t feel like leaving home even though there are things and places I’d love to check out.
Listeeeeen u was speaking to my SOUL in this video, u r so right! Ive actually been working on this with myself for a couple months now; starting to say no and standing on it, and also making myself less available. Im really so nice and ready to help or pour into someone, but the hard truth is ppl are taking that energy for their benefit, but when i need it its quiet, when i call them out o n it its "everybody not the same/u cant expect things from ppl" etc. Its unrealistic for me to say ima start being mean and not be nice, BUT i have to start reserving my energy soley for myself not be so quick to give. Funny how when ppl notice that then attitudes start to change lol smdh
This one resonate deeper ❤
Love the look ❤️
I swear I’ve been there before but not in the way of being the first one called for help. Just the simplest things I would do and some people would find a way to make me feel bad about it even though I know it’s not wrong 🙄🙄.
Thanks for the content Karine 😘❤️
You’re welcome my love! 😘♥️
@@karinealourdementalgems can you make a video on how to deal with toxic parents and how to identify them especially when you can’t move out yet. Please
@@doreendoreen9508I got you my love ❤
Much needed
I know my friend Ruth was like that I had to cut her off . Not a real friend but I was there for her in every problem she had with her ex boyfreinda
Hi Karine, I hope you are doing well. Please can you make a video on friendship, I would like to know how you and your best friend met and became best friends friends and what age you guys met.
I myself am a 19 year old who is seeking a best friend.❤
Absolutely! I’m going to do a collab with her and saving your comment ♥️♥️
@@karinealourdementalgemsThank you❤
Thank you Karine for this well-articulated wisdom. Wish my future descendants would have watch your videos. You are one of the few women who talks about leveling up yet emphasizing also the importance of having a good character and values in more detailed way. I am watching from Southeast Asia.
I really needed this, thank you
I definitely stop that only the ones that care for me.
this might be your best video
You are speaking to me directly Karine thank you so much for this video 💛
Damn…I haven’t even watched the video yet the title alone… 💯
You’re very wise. Those who get it, get it. 👌🏽
Good reminder. Appreciate it, Karine.
I’m the yes .. person !! And I have two people ❤ who would tell me yes ..
And when they tell me no .. I understand so much and I adore these people 😩😩😩. I can’t wait to get rich . I’m spoil them so much ❤
Thank you for this.
Karine! Love you giving those big sister vibes for your tribe.💫🤍
You are so generous with your wisdom.🌸
Yass! God does NOT want us to enable the lazy!
“You took it outta context”
Karine: “Please..you don’t even know what context means..”
THIS IS THE ONEEEE☝🏾😂lmaooooo you never miss! Thanks for another banger of a video ❤️❤️❤️
Also I love your videos,thank God he made a high caliber woman like you ❤️🥺
Good point friend ❤
My life! Great video
This is SO TRUE Karine! Thanks for your time and Gems. You look beautiful as always! ♥️
Your makeup is so flawless and dreamy Karine! I love it
This was God sent for me. Thank you so much!
This is great information.
Omg right on time
Thank you Karine❤
Love this video, it's so spot on.
All I can say is this video is so timely smh
Period 👏
This is me now beforw i used to always be available and nice but now im distant and love saying no😂❤
Amazing content!! Wise beyond your years 🙏🏽🥰
This video came at such a perfect time. I feel like it's a sign, because it is exactly what I needed to hear in my current situation. I'm sharing this! 💓🤝🏾
Yes.
❤
Who says talking to Spirits is wicked? What do you think happens to your family and friends who pass on???!!!
I caught that 🤔
Boundaries are Bible principles. People forget how God judged the Children of Israel in the Old Testament.
This🎉
Yes to Haitian parents only talking about religion. I consider myself Christian but I feel like my Dad is very cult-ish
I personally have had hugely positive experiences with Jesus and specific spirits from African spirituality where they protected me, and I did not ask for it but they made sure I was comfortable. Thank you Jesus for the sanctification. Last time I checked you’re only supposed to worship Jesus and His father God.
But for a father to tell his child God told him not to be present for two decades is just downright demonic
The African diaspora is extremely religious regardless of what type of black you are than any other race alive on this planet because of fear. I’m not religious but I’m black american and my family is overly religious themselves. I left that stuff behind. I have a relationship with god but not religious aspects, I don’t go to church, I don’t participate in religion. I don’t need religion to keep me to be a good person or to treat people well. Once I let go of religion I no longer felt in fear or scared or like I was not able to enjoy my life. A lot of black people use religion to abuse their children and force us to live a certain way. They are toxic individuals unfortunately. Majority of religion has been misconstrued as well but they don’t want the truth. Then religion is male identified in my opinion and it’s like sexist towards women. God, the church, and gospel music is 3 different things which what the world isn’t prepared for. Most blinded people are heavily religious, half of them haven’t truly accepted god themselves. Shouting, speaking in tongues, and attending church doesn’t equal you have a genuine relationship with god. A lot of them come off like a death doomsday cult no offense.
Do you have a book club Karine? If so I’d love to join
Same🙏🏾
Completely disagree that a good person will manipulate.
Come bbe
🧐🎑🙊💖
I just got off work and I need this video more than ever 🥲🫶🏾
Aww Nicole! Love you 🫶🏾♥️