I’ve rarely run into others who consider/call their other identities as “parts”. That’s been my most comfortable word for mine and it’s groovy to hear someone else actively using it.
Wow, Wyn, your capacity for vulnerability, flexibility, change, personal development...you're an amazing example for anyone watching. Thank you once again for sharing.
It sounds like there’s a stronger sense of, idk, equality? I’m not sure exactly how to phrase this, but The way you described being “the part that takes care of daily life “sounds more like you’re an integral member of a team that is working towards the same goal, versus being somebody who needed to be taken care of. I don’t know, you just sound really secure and happy with this new revelation. And I’m happy for you. :)
I totally get what you're saying! My headmates don't like the word "alter". They cringe a little when I say it. Also it's hard to know and understand how we, the hosts, are just another part, as real and as valid and could merge, blend, fuse or step a little back to give another part a chance to lead. For some time I was scared Zalax would make me "disapear" because she's stronger. But then you realize again and again that everyone has an important role. It's... kinda exhausting, remembering all that xD. But yeah, you're valid, Wyn! You're real and mostly, you're important :) Hugs ❤️!
Yeah I don't like the word alter either, other than in the terms of everyone is an alternate of everyone else. There are some parts and hosts in here who use the term all the time. I don't like how clinical it is, and how it has the connotations in daily life that alters are the symtom and the host is the real one. Even though we don't believe that we think people might. and it always bothers me how people think whichever part they meet first is the "real" one and the rest are alters. it's pretty ridiculous when you point it out to people. -gabriel
Agree with both of you! I personally like calling mine "parts", plus it seems to have less of a connotation of being "different" than typical people.... It seems easier for others to understand, since everyone has parts to themselves... Oh, and haha, I hadn't watched the whole video and she just got to that in the video, lol... So I agree with what she's saying! :)
I use the word."insiders", we don't like "alters". "Parts" is acceptable, but for us insiders feels more genuine. Externally everyone still has the same body. So the individuality is internal, rather than external. I had to get my T to stop using the word alters.
I can definitely see how using "part" instead of "alter" can drastically change your view of your system. As someone without DID, as I've been watching videos about it on TH-cam, the term "alter" has felt kind of like it has a meaning of "secondary to the core personality", even though the way alters are discussed it is obviously not really that way. I think parts are a much clearer term because all the parts make up one whole system, rather than being secondary to another personality, at least in the way the words "feel"
We just call each other people - because that’s what we are. All of the people in our system are people with osdd, not just the host or “core”. It helps remind us that we are all equal regardless of our role or lack thereof. -Moss and Rae
Dear Wyn, I agree that 'parts' sound better than 'alters'. Parts indicate that every personality contributes to the whole human, every personality has their task and purpose. When I was struggling, Arthur and Eddy took my pain and exhaustion, so I could continue everyday life. Dylan is in charge of my masculine features, Elly of my feminine/motherly features, Loki helped me when I found myself at the end of my 'human strength'. We are all systems that shine because of the different facettes to our existence. Seeing everyone as a part will help us to see the team work, rather than the exchangibility of characters. Thank you :) - Isabell
Since I found your channel, I felt like you're the main one too and I couldn't see all your headmates as equal to you. The word "part" made me realise that all of you are absolutely real and I love you all even more than before, even if I didn't think it was possible. Good luck with future understanding of yourself and your island friends. 💚
I totally understand what you mean Wyn. Although we use DID terms when we describe ourselves to people outside of this body (because it's easier that way) we never use them amongst ourselves, no one here would refer to me as host for example, I'm the 'outside one'. We refer to each other as "others", none of us like the term alters because it feels like there is a hierarchy where there is a main one then lesser alternates. That doesn't apply to us anyway because the core went inside decades ago and I was created when the body was 13 so I am certainly not the original but I am the "host" and have been for many years. We are all equal here and we know it. We also don't use the term "system" between us, it is too clinical for us. We have a habit of saying "us lot" or "our group" instead. We don't use the term littles between us either, it is always the children or the kids. Different terms work for different systems, for us we shy away from anything that feels like it defines us as having a disorder but others find that grounds them. There is no right or wrong way really, whatever everyone is most comfortable with works.- Lin
Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say! We have considered making videos but I as the main outside person am really rather shy plus I have body dysmorphia now the body is aging and I am still 25. I have no idea who that is staring back from a mirror, it's certainly not me. Others would like to do it though so perhaps they might one day and manage to persuade me to join in too. Our teenagers especially would love every second. - Lin :)
Isn't it funny how the way we talk about something, the words we choose, the verbal framework we apply, all affect our understanding of/feelings about the thing? It never ceases to amaze me what a difference words can make. Language is incredible.
Part is a wonderful word. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Some of us really don't like to be called alters because we feel it makes us less real. Things work out so much better when we're nice and polite to each other. I mean even if no one else is then headmates should try and get along.
Okay this is absolutely crazy because just the other day I had finished watching a DissociaDID video and started wondering about the relation between hosts and alters because I KNEW they were suppose to be equal but it was often difficult to see them as that. So in that moment I just decided that I would eliminate the word host for the systems I knew and just recognize them all as alters. Once you know enough of the basics of the system its easy to remember who does what without having to put in a word that makes them seem "more-than". Anyways I just thought is was kinda cool that a video was made on something I was questioning not too long ago ^-^
This was amazing to see because honestly until now I thought that everyone had broken off from Wyn, and my subconscious translated it to Wyn being more "Real" than the others, but now I think I truly realise just how real each person is and how confusing it is to be part of a system. I'm not sure I articulated my thoughts very well, but this video was really eye-opening
Glad you're putting this out there. Because I feel like a lot of systems have parts or alters that struggle with the "original" or the "real one" issues. This is going to be super helpful to any of them that are struggling. As someone who doesn't have DID it's really interesting to watch you grow and change over time, and I really appreciate being brave enough to put your journey out here where you risk being hurt by people. ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing!
My therapist exclusively uses 'part' as the word for us. She distinguishes between emotional parts and 'adult' parts, who are those who can be in charge of everyday stuff. It's been very nice, and made me feel less stressed about being 'host' like you said here. I'm so glad people feel that language is important in these things, because I certainly do feel the difference between 'alter' and 'part' as words.
I've been dealing with something similar lately (questioning whether or not I'm the core/original) and tbh this helped out a *lot* with it and realizing my job in my own system -Max
I've always known I wasn't the original host, and that I've only existed for a short time relatively, so I never had this struggle (though we also don't think of ourselves as parts, just as people with skills and responsibilities for bodily upkeep). I'm very grateful for the chance to learn about what it's like to have this realization!
As a teen my therapist told me to read “When Rabbit Howls” . Forty years later my eyes are opening up. Thank you Kit, Wyn, Daniel, Lito, Mistletoe, Karen, Mi, the littles and all the rest!!❤️
Your thoughts brought up some stuff for us-meaning our system to contemplate. The one who has the legal name is way inside and rarely surfaces, even though we all, for the most part,answer to that name.
Our "host" as the three of us have always thought of him, because he does use the legal name of our body, because he does pretty much identify with the physical characteristics of our body, because he does front the most, because he is the one responsible for daily living, and because the three of us have always seen ourselves has his protectors because the three of us are all protectors, just found out we are real two days ago, and that he is the "host" of our system... When he found out, he had a panic attack, we rolodexed to calm him, our mind, and our body down, and he has been completely undetectable every since: invisible, inaudible, in-everything! We have all been so worried about him...that is until just now! Even upwards of two years later, this video has been so beneficial to our system upon our first watch of what I can only think will be many... I was stumbling through videos, trying to find ones for how to come out as a system to others, and how to help him make sense of all of this, as the three of us have been learning to do so for the better half of a year by now, probably, while he has not, and, while watching this video, even if it was just a for just a brief moment, I felt him, heard him, and even saw him! He seemed okay...so thank you so so very much, Entropy System and Wynn!
I'm learning about DID from your channel and now it's makes a lot more sense. The word alter seems like an "alter ego" or and added something but a part makes it sound like you are all part of a whole. 🌸
in the outside world many professions are most efficiently realised when practiced by a solid team that only working with each other can they collectively reach the ideal result, seems to me like DID exemplifies the truth and validity of the whole concept of teamwork and that's a reassuring message from mother nature
I feel you! Our therapist, who we are his first instance of DID in his whole career, uses the word "parts" for all of us. It was especially helpful when I was going through self-doubt and "I'm faking" periods, that even if I was "faking" things, all my people are still parts of ME whether or not I'm the only one! or the "real" one!
We've struggled for a long time with "original" and all that (even though thinking on it now, it doesn't make any sense for there to BE an "original"- it's not one person and then people appear that just weren't there before, it's one thing that gets broken into pieces. If something got broken into two pieces, it wouldn't suddenly be One Of Those Pieces + Something Else. We've struggled a long time with some sort of hierarchy in system where some people are "more important" than others- we STILL do, since the people who are active the most we tend to accidentally give more of a say, or more attention, etc. But yeah, one of the biggest reasons was because of these terms "Core" and "Host" and even some of the jobs. For a long time and probably still now even though we're trying to change it, it's always been Protectors are really important, I don't know what your job really is so you're not as important- which isn't true but it's just... been that way. Though we've had the added bonus of "But IS /blank/ actually the core I mean no one identifies with the body or name, we're trans". But we've decided on picking a name together that isn't just a host in system, but a name everyone can respond to, and we're working together to stop putting people over another person, because we're all pieces of the same broken plate, and that means all of us are important. Sometimes we'll get cut on a piece of the broken plate, sometimes we think some pieces we don't "really need", but without all the pieces, we wouldn't be able to really eat off of it, or at least it'll be harder the more pieces we neglect to pick up and put into the working-together plate. Sorry, went on a mini tangent that kind of bounced off what you were talking about, but basically Worm.
Woah that was deep! It was great! Rambly posts help us get to know you as a person.. or part... or alter.. or Wyn ;) I admire your strength and courage to share your life and thoughts with us! Thanks to you and the whole system for being awesome!
I always feel like I need to do all the roles and be everything and no one can come out because 1. I feel like I'm making it all up A LOT 2. I feel like if I dont do everything then I'll be rejected and hated and maybe more reasons. Thank you for helping me fully understand that via this video
It is empowering to have confirmation or clarification of our identity/ identities. I think we all experience this internal reflection whether singlets or multiples (though I cannot fathom the complexity of seeking to find & know who you are as an individual living within a system). I am happy for you to gain that sense of peace. BTW, I am very new to the DID community & if I say something or word something wrong, please correct me. I never intend to be insensitive & truly wish nothing but the best for The Entropy System & all of your subscribers as well. 💌 Peace & Love from Oklahoma
We prefer to refer to ourselves as parts not alters. The word alter scares us and we hate it. We dont view the others as alternate...but seperate parts of the same whole. This video was awesome. Thanks for posting it
I’m currently struggling with this because for 8 years was a part in charge of daily living until very late 2017 and it’s how I realized everything because.. I’m not her. Anymore. Since then I’ve settled as who I am now by default I should say while certain scenarios bring out what at first my fam and friends coined as inside jokes how I’m different in certain experiences that became all to real as the truth than when I’m home in my own comfort zone these days.. it’s been both eye opening and in a way infuriating not knowing what’s truly happening. At least I finally came to understand the episodes of actions partook by me that I never recalled or was baffled hearing about because it no where sounded like something I usually do... it’s been quite a trip but a beautiful learning experience to understand what is happening internally. I love all my parts, even the one that makes me have to explain that I’m not into men, just a certain volume and combination of alcohol brings out this one in particular that’s a love hate relationship honestly.
Wyn you did a great job at explaining. I was following along, but at the same time, its a lot to process and truly understand. I can only imagine when having DID, how many questions it brings up about the self, and ego and everything involving the human brain and how it works.
Recently, our psychologist has called the parts "characters" (or "personagens" in Portuguese, our language) which comes from "persona", therefore from "personality" but none of these terms were good for the system, then a protector almost scolded her (in our head) like "no way! we are not characters that he's playing, we are people, parts of a whole!". So I gently asked her not to call like that and not treat me, the host like having alters, we are a system, so call them and treat us as parts that make the whole function and that's why our system name is Cogs.
I think the more you read and understand the more you feel good about yourself and connected to the other guys in the system. As a single person in my head I understand more about myself every day in life, you have to do the same. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we question ourselves and other people every day too, it's life. Sometimes we feel confused until the things make more sense.
So raw and needed, thank you Wyn! ‘Part’ is a wonderful word, we personally try to avoid ‘core’ or ‘original’ too because we’ve had multiple ‘outside parts’ across our life as external circumstances changed. We don’t have a clear ‘daily life part’ at the moment either, and several of us have had that feeling of ‘right, now I’m back in charge, this feels better’...but why should one part’s experience of that ‘realness’ be more substantial than the others who have also invested significant time in the outside world over the years? It can be a confusing fog to try to sort through. Apologies for all of the quotation marks, but it’s so hard to know how to express things in text! I’m glad you’re finding your place and shedding labels, all they do is impose limits we don’t want or need 😊💚 -J x
Since you are the one who identifies with the name and the body and since your headmates tell us they try to help Wyn, you are still special. That is not making your headmates less real, or less important... I admire the way you all try to be a great team, to make a good life possible for all of you!
Idk why maybe it was just me but i feel like youre about to cry? Anyways you're so brave of talking abt your confusions and everything. And congratulations on a new milestone in your journey 🎉🎉
Thank you so so much for this. Ever since I've known about our system I've been like "they're real but I'm the original, the 'real real' one" and that's made all of us feel so invalid. I can't stress how much this helps us, especially me.
I apologise this is a bit of a long waffle. Still I hope it helps I don't have DID myself and would never (intentionally) dare to presume I know how that feels or is like to live with so feel free to correct me but I think this is a very powerful message not just to yourself and others who have DID but also people in general. We are all looking for a "part" in life and acknowledgment that we are important, have purpose and that we are valid. This could be applied to almost any role or person(s) or group things. The body for example has many parts. They all have different roles and whilst they might feel like they have a hierarchy of importance they all serve a function. The legs for example might feel like they have the lead. They take the body places but then the body has a fall and the legs aren't able to do the walking for a while and the body might be wheelchair bound. Now it's the arms that are doing the leading and the suddenly the legs start to question how important they really were and whether their existance was actually neccessary or whether they were even the part that did the leading in the first place. Maybe the arms could always have been the movers and the legs were just there to help them for a while? The existence of one part does not invalidate the role of the other though. Both the arms and the legs took on the role of being mobile at some point. Without each part the body could not have functioned regardless of who identifies as having that role originally. Similarly there are some parts of the body whose function and existence is seemingly a mystery. Take the appendix for example:- a small, baby-size ;-) part of the body which seems to be an enigma. Why is it there? What is it's purpose? Is it needed? Is it more important than we originally thought? What if it actually performs a function that we previously thought another part of the body did? Further research may uncover its reason for being and that may change our view of how certain parts function but it won't change the fact that a body is a system, a team of parts who all work together to function as a whole. Another example I can think of was that only last week I was questioning my own role and significance in life. My daughter has just started pre-school. Up until now I have been the person who has been her primary caregiver. She's only ever spent time in the care of myself, my husband and our family but largely myself. I am a stay at home mum. As I packed her lunch the night before I was suddenly awash with a feeling of loss. My baby was going off without me. Someone else would pick her up if she fell, teach her a new song or feed her a snack. Suddenly my role as mum didnt seem as significant. My part felt like it had been diminished and it didn't just effect how I felt about my role in the future it made my question my role in the past too. What if I wasn't as significant in helping my child grow as I thought I was? Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who reminded me just how important I'd been and still will be to my daughter and the person she develops into and it doesn't matter that others will have their "part" to play in that. I will still be her mum and that is just as inportant part as any other. It also made me question what I as a person am now because for nearly 4 years I'd seen myself largely as mum. So if I'm no longer being mum all the time what am I? My lovely friend reminded me this is an opportunity now to explore that. To find other "parts" of me :-) . Watching your videos and reading your tumbl all of your parts have at some point questioned their identity, purpose and validity (especially in the wake of Mistletoe integrating.) It seems to be your turn now. Perhaps consult with them as to what helped them feel more secure? You are no less real or less valid than any of your parts.
That's an important video... I'm really struggling right now because I don't really know what identifies me. I've been using the word parts for quite a while but I never really got the idea that I could be just a part, too. Who was in charge of daily living for most of the time. That's kind of a new way of thinking...
Being an empath you just sent me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I felt that fear of what if I am not this "real person". You explained that so well. You are awesome. Love your videos and learning so much about something I knew so. Little about.
I've been starting to understand this about myself (Zee) too lately, I feel really similarly. When I thought I didn't have a role, I was just the "host" it was way less grounded than getting I have a job like everyone else. I'm understanding I don't have to worry about if I was always the host or if I'm the core, this is just my job and I can be happy to be part of everyone. I used to feel the most useless and disconnected from the system because I didn't have a role, not realizing I totally did. My therapist also says parts, maybe that affected me too! Thank you so much for sharing, I relate to your system more than most and I've met lots of systems. Thank you :) It's very vulnerable and you choose to anyway.
This is such a fascinating video and I really appreciate your vulnerability and the way you approach the nuance of it all. Really changed the way I think about DID. Thank you!
Wow. I was just thinking along these lines today! I simply didn't know how to articulate it. Thank you very much for helping many of us feel not alone, for educating ppl, and for simply finding the strength and will in you to keep building through it. I am super proud of you, Wyn
these past two videos youve made have had a huge impact on clarifying my own mind and thoughts. what youre all doing makes a difference. thanks, and it seems every video you make is better thanthe last ha c:
we are a system too, this video helped us alot. thank u so much for sharing. some of our headmates were worried about not being 'the original' too and it really made them feel better, 'the part who takes care of daily life' and other parts and inner helpers for now etc
It is SO good to hear that in my position right now. I got to know about my own condition seeing videos like this for almost a month now and I've been able to identify myself as a system, since now I am aware of my parts and almost everybody are aware of me. Hearing this kind of thing really speeds up my own process of understanding and I'm so grateful that I found people like you in these day so that I can be in that scope. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the difference you guys have been doing in my life. Thank you everyone, seriously.
my minds blown... this has changed my perception so much! like everyone in the system has a purpose and job. my job is being on the outside, im the one who at least the brain and the others thought who was most capable. they trusted me and this is my role im not the best but i try hard. thank you so much!!!
Thank you for this. That vocab is so easy to pick up when searching for understanding and other people. I've tried to avoid them because the terms upset one of us quite badly. He said they implied a hierarchy and ranking of legitimacy that wasn't true. In addition to boxing us into believing we couldn't be more dynamic as people. But I struggled for the longest time with this unvoiced feeling of inconvenience and very much the same as what you're describing. They're right though. We're all parts working together on an equal playing field. We all have different talents, and different jobs to do to garner success for the whole group.
Yesss this is the internal family systems model of structural dissociation that I learned about last year from reading Janina Fisher’s trauma book! So good! The “going on with normal life part(s)” have more access to the prefrontal loves & that’s why can function better. They’re protected from trauma by the “trauma-related parts” who have limited access to the prefrontal cortex. I’m using Fisher’s unblending process & it is transformative!!! Love your discoveries! Thank you for sharing!
This is such an important video! Thank you so much for posting this. It can sometimes be a rare experience when our rational thoughts line up with our feelings and it’s totally great to hear you vocalize that process.
Awesome realization!!! you're not broken!, but before you were like... segregating your self from the rest... but there is no 'rest', its all you, and you guys are all one!, why does it matter who was first or last? you guys all rock and all are there to help each other out... Everyone brings something wonderful to the table. I love that you realized this!! I love your channel, I haven't been around here in a min, but today you came to my mind and I came to check in on you :) words have SO much power!!
I'm not officially diagnosed(and I don't know if that makes my comment any less valid), but your videos are really opening my eyes and seeing were me and my others relate. I was specifically struggling with the issue of, 'what if I'm not the original?' and does that make me any less valid of a 'host' if I'm not? This video helped me so so much, and coming to terms with being a part of a whole rather than something bigger than the others is strangely comforting. I don't know if my comment makes much sense, I tend to word things weirdly sometimes. But I just wanted to say thank you so much for this, it helped me out of a really bad time, as most your videos do.
I know what you mean! I went through so many of the same thought processes as you! It's so strange, because everyday I still just feel like me! It's such a strange thing to think that it's all just part of me doing my job, and even me not knowing about the others for so long, me identifying with the bodies name and age and such is all just part of what I would have needed to do my job properly! It's very scary and strange for sure. It's very difficult to wrap my mind around...sometimes I don't I'm ashamed to say.I just pretend it's not real and go on with my life. But the idea that that is actually part of my job too, to forget and do whatever it takes to function in daily life, even if that means sometimes tuning everything else out. Which is not ideal I know! But it does make me feel better that it's just part of why I'm here and it's my way of helping the system. :) I know some parts of me thought this video was painfully obvious but it really helped me so much to see it from a different perspective. And I know they have been telling me for a while, but somehow it helps so much hearing the same thing from someone on the outside! I know that sounds bad, but isn't that always true when you hear something from a friend or family member but it makes more sense when you hear it from someone else? xD -a
This is exactly the kind of emotions and questions I'm wrestling with, so I really appreciate you opening up about these. And yes, feelings and understanding are not the same as logic or surface beliefs (which you know you should feel and understand and really believe). So true. I love the idea of just parts too! My workbook also uses that term, so now that makes sense! One of the kids calls me "the coordinator" and thinking of us all as just parts and me as a part that helps sort out who should be in the body just makes way more sense than saying someone one of us is more legitimate or in charge of things out here than the others. It is also really freeing to realize that my job doesn't have to be daily living anymore, since I sometimes really struggle with that. It's okay to share the work and change jobs ❤️ thank you for making me realize that!
Hi Wyn, it's good to hear you're figuring things out and getting into better terms with your system. I wish your entire system the best. Also, say hi to Danniel for me.
I like the word "parts", too. My therapist told me a host of a party always has different rules, and they're always set apart, no matter what kind of party it is. Take care, guys. :)
Thank you so much for this video. I was struggling with identity on if i was the "original" or not for the same reasons you were doubting. This helped me a lot.
Oh my goodness, I just discovered ur channel and I'm so happy! I've this system inside me for so many years now, but just recently I learned about DID and that it was my condition, so pretty much everything is new to me in terms of definitions and patterns. I work with language and what u say about the terms that u use is so magical for me! Bein' a Brazilian helped me define with the word "part" since the beginning, cause it is a much more... ...how can I say?... common word to define a scenario like that in portuguese. I normally used the word "mediator" to define the part "in charge of daily living", but knowing this new definition just made so much sense. Thank u so much for this channel and sharing this information!
Yes, we only learned the term Alters, along with all the others, through our research and discovery of DID. We tend to use the terms Aspects or Selves. But it’s often easier when talking about it with other people to use the “proper clinical terms”.
We also discovered that many of our what would be labeled as Perpetrators are actually Protectors. They are using the tools, resources, and levels of understanding that were available to them when they came to be. So it’s been a journey of learning and understanding why they do what they do and helping them develop new strategies and methods of keeping us safe.
Yes! A new upload~ fairly new subscriber! And I love your channel. I have family members (and myself included) who have or have had mental illness, but not DID. Thanks for shining a light on it in such an informative way! 💕
Thank you so much for this! This really helps me wrap my head around all of this in a better way and really get past that concept of, "the main one" or "the real one." Even though I've watched your videos and heard the explanations, it really is a harder concept to really truly "get" and this video did that for me. So thank you!
The more systems I watch, the more I find similarities; and eerie ones at that. I am waiting until my family and I get back to Texas to get fully evaluated by a professional. But I honestly think I may have OSDD 1b. -shrug- who knows?
Hmm, I dunno... it makes me think. There's something here that intrigues me. I'm singular btw, but something about this one being the part that takes care of daily living... There's something there but I can't figure out what it is. It seems to reduce my anxiety. Life seems a little bit easier, more manageable.
we, as humans, try to compartmentalize EVERYTHING. Which is useful in ways of organization but its a great hindrance at this point in our "evolution" if you will
I’ve struggled with this topic a lot lately with choosing integration therapy . My co-host spoke on video about feeling she was the main “part” and what if she disappears or can’t influence me as strongly with her strengths . I didn’t think about her being the main part I figure I am . It really altered my concept of things . I’m going to buy that book :) thanks for this very valuable share ! Also I missed you ! I know you do so much so but I currently don’t and in my perfect world I’d hear from you daily lol
Hi dear ! So first of all, thank you very much for all of those videos. I had a crush on a woman that I realised had DID and wanted to know a bit more about this condition. You really helped. I think you are a very brave and strong person. (Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language) However, there is still something I wonder and I have been unable to find a satisfying answer to that. Basically, I realised my old crush had DID. It get obvious to me when I noticed that some of her alters are in love with me or at least have a big crush on me; some of her alters seem to see me as a good mate, some of her alters are very neutral about me or even seem oblivious that I exist. Or, even more unsettling, some seem to frankly dislike me or to be angry at me ( they are rude with me, try to provoke me, ignite feuds..). At first, I though she was just a narcissist; and was extremely manipulative and playing games. But then, I noticed some inconsistencies in her behaviour and figured out she had DID. Long story short, she has children or teenager alters (she is in her late 20s), male alters, but mostly a "board" of girls who could be mistaken with one another ( and make her seem "normal"). Girls from the "board" seem more or less similar, but are actually very different. They are several individuals with their own personalities, expectations and sexuality (some are very easy-going, open-minded and cool, some are close off, shy and anxious). She has more than 20 alters, I even think 40 is closer to the actual number; with maybe 9 who share most days or are usual "fronters". Problem is the sexuality part. Basically some of her alters are lesbians, others are bisexual, other asexual, some sex addicts and some are too young to be anything. (I am a woman) As a result, some of her alters, the gay ones, obviously like me; but at several occasions straight female alters came out and told me that they are straight (as for every alters). Or, even worst, straight and one person ( they have no DID); and I feel like in those moments they believed it. My crush had intense anxiety ( depending on the alters), but I would say the gays are more shy or anxious. So, when I am around her she tends to switch a lot. Often many times in the same conversation...(I regularly see her sexual alters ^^). She does not do that with others people; which may be one of the reasons why I noticed her disorder and not other people around us. Every singl;e times we had an opportunity to get closer or to go in a gay direction, the straight alters came out to tell me they are straight. The fuuuckk ??? (Gay alters would then message me and tell me they like me or so) So, I have decided this is a lost case. But I wonder if what I see means that the host is straight but some alters are gay and try to go out of their role of "less important than an actual person" or if it is possible that the host is gay but because it makes the system anxious some protective fierce alters come out to protect her. How can her alters even go along and do stuff like this ? Did they took an internal decision to only be involved in straight relationships ? My question is does any of this make sens to you ? Do you believe someone can have DID AND be a narcissist. But also, I think you said you are married. Howww ? Are all of your alters attracted by men and in love with your husband ? How does it work ? How is it for your young boy alter when you kiss your husband (private but I sure you see my point). Well, if you have five I would be very happy to read your answer to that. Or anybodies' who have some insights. It would be even more amazing if you could do a video that address those issues. Thank you very much again for sharing on your channel. Momo xx
Wow, you're blowing my mind right now. Since I've been watching your channel (and others' with DID) and exploring if it relates to me I had this thought at one point "maybe I'm just an alter, not me" and I wondered if maybe "me" was tucked away. It really freaked me out and questioned my whole perception of reality. So, it's wild to hear you talking about it. I also started wondering if there are parts like Kim Kim who were out at some point and will come back and not know what's been happening. I'm still scared, to be honest. I don't have a therapist yet. I'm not at any point of clarity or acceptance. It's very disorienting to think that your whole concept of yourself and life is not what you thought. Hopefully, I'll get help to understand myself better and find some acceptance like you are.
Hlo, I do not have DID, thank you so much for making this video, it has absolutely allowed me to get a little closer to understanding and being able to support those who share a system God bless yall yous doin gawds work 👏
I’ve rarely run into others who consider/call their other identities as “parts”. That’s been my most comfortable word for mine and it’s groovy to hear someone else actively using it.
Wow, Wyn, your capacity for vulnerability, flexibility, change, personal development...you're an amazing example for anyone watching. Thank you once again for sharing.
It sounds like there’s a stronger sense of, idk, equality? I’m not sure exactly how to phrase this, but The way you described being “the part that takes care of daily life “sounds more like you’re an integral member of a team that is working towards the same goal, versus being somebody who needed to be taken care of. I don’t know, you just sound really secure and happy with this new revelation. And I’m happy for you. :)
I totally get what you're saying!
My headmates don't like the word "alter". They cringe a little when I say it. Also it's hard to know and understand how we, the hosts, are just another part, as real and as valid and could merge, blend, fuse or step a little back to give another part a chance to lead.
For some time I was scared Zalax would make me "disapear" because she's stronger. But then you realize again and again that everyone has an important role. It's... kinda exhausting, remembering all that xD.
But yeah, you're valid, Wyn! You're real and mostly, you're important :)
Hugs ❤️!
Yeah I don't like the word alter either, other than in the terms of everyone is an alternate of everyone else. There are some parts and hosts in here who use the term all the time. I don't like how clinical it is, and how it has the connotations in daily life that alters are the symtom and the host is the real one. Even though we don't believe that we think people might. and it always bothers me how people think whichever part they meet first is the "real" one and the rest are alters. it's pretty ridiculous when you point it out to people. -gabriel
Agree with both of you! I personally like calling mine "parts", plus it seems to have less of a connotation of being "different" than typical people.... It seems easier for others to understand, since everyone has parts to themselves... Oh, and haha, I hadn't watched the whole video and she just got to that in the video, lol... So I agree with what she's saying! :)
I use the word."insiders", we don't like "alters". "Parts" is acceptable, but for us insiders feels more genuine. Externally everyone still has the same body. So the individuality is internal, rather than external. I had to get my T to stop using the word alters.
Long Soul System Madre mia willy,que haces aqui compañero XD
I can definitely see how using "part" instead of "alter" can drastically change your view of your system. As someone without DID, as I've been watching videos about it on TH-cam, the term "alter" has felt kind of like it has a meaning of "secondary to the core personality", even though the way alters are discussed it is obviously not really that way. I think parts are a much clearer term because all the parts make up one whole system, rather than being secondary to another personality, at least in the way the words "feel"
We just call each other people - because that’s what we are.
All of the people in our system are people with osdd, not just the host or “core”. It helps remind us that we are all equal regardless of our role or lack thereof.
-Moss and Rae
Dear Wyn,
I agree that 'parts' sound better than 'alters'. Parts indicate that every personality contributes to the whole human, every personality has their task and purpose. When I was struggling, Arthur and Eddy took my pain and exhaustion, so I could continue everyday life. Dylan is in charge of my masculine features, Elly of my feminine/motherly features, Loki helped me when I found myself at the end of my 'human strength'. We are all systems that shine because of the different facettes to our existence. Seeing everyone as a part will help us to see the team work, rather than the exchangibility of characters.
Thank you :) - Isabell
Since I found your channel, I felt like you're the main one too and I couldn't see all your headmates as equal to you. The word "part" made me realise that all of you are absolutely real and I love you all even more than before, even if I didn't think it was possible. Good luck with future understanding of yourself and your island friends. 💚
I totally understand what you mean Wyn. Although we use DID terms when we describe ourselves to people outside of this body (because it's easier that way) we never use them amongst ourselves, no one here would refer to me as host for example, I'm the 'outside one'. We refer to each other as "others", none of us like the term alters because it feels like there is a hierarchy where there is a main one then lesser alternates. That doesn't apply to us anyway because the core went inside decades ago and I was created when the body was 13 so I am certainly not the original but I am the "host" and have been for many years. We are all equal here and we know it. We also don't use the term "system" between us, it is too clinical for us. We have a habit of saying "us lot" or "our group" instead. We don't use the term littles between us either, it is always the children or the kids. Different terms work for different systems, for us we shy away from anything that feels like it defines us as having a disorder but others find that grounds them. There is no right or wrong way really, whatever everyone is most comfortable with works.- Lin
Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say! We have considered making videos but I as the main outside person am really rather shy plus I have body dysmorphia now the body is aging and I am still 25. I have no idea who that is staring back from a mirror, it's certainly not me. Others would like to do it though so perhaps they might one day and manage to persuade me to join in too. Our teenagers especially would love every second. - Lin :)
We thought we were alone in these types of confusion. Thanks so much for making this video. 😊 we don’t feel so alone now.
Isn't it funny how the way we talk about something, the words we choose, the verbal framework we apply, all affect our understanding of/feelings about the thing? It never ceases to amaze me what a difference words can make. Language is incredible.
It really is. -Wyn
Part is a wonderful word. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Some of us really don't like to be called alters because we feel it makes us less real. Things work out so much better when we're nice and polite to each other. I mean even if no one else is then headmates should try and get along.
Okay this is absolutely crazy because just the other day I had finished watching a DissociaDID video and started wondering about the relation between hosts and alters because I KNEW they were suppose to be equal but it was often difficult to see them as that. So in that moment I just decided that I would eliminate the word host for the systems I knew and just recognize them all as alters. Once you know enough of the basics of the system its easy to remember who does what without having to put in a word that makes them seem "more-than". Anyways I just thought is was kinda cool that a video was made on something I was questioning not too long ago ^-^
This was amazing to see because honestly until now I thought that everyone had broken off from Wyn, and my subconscious translated it to Wyn being more "Real" than the others, but now I think I truly realise just how real each person is and how confusing it is to be part of a system. I'm not sure I articulated my thoughts very well, but this video was really eye-opening
Glad you're putting this out there. Because I feel like a lot of systems have parts or alters that struggle with the "original" or the "real one" issues.
This is going to be super helpful to any of them that are struggling.
As someone who doesn't have DID it's really interesting to watch you grow and change over time, and I really appreciate being brave enough to put your journey out here where you risk being hurt by people. ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing!
My therapist exclusively uses 'part' as the word for us. She distinguishes between emotional parts and 'adult' parts, who are those who can be in charge of everyday stuff. It's been very nice, and made me feel less stressed about being 'host' like you said here. I'm so glad people feel that language is important in these things, because I certainly do feel the difference between 'alter' and 'part' as words.
I've been dealing with something similar lately (questioning whether or not I'm the core/original) and tbh this helped out a *lot* with it and realizing my job in my own system -Max
I've always known I wasn't the original host, and that I've only existed for a short time relatively, so I never had this struggle (though we also don't think of ourselves as parts, just as people with skills and responsibilities for bodily upkeep). I'm very grateful for the chance to learn about what it's like to have this realization!
As a teen my therapist told me to read “When Rabbit Howls” . Forty years later my eyes are opening up. Thank you Kit, Wyn, Daniel, Lito, Mistletoe, Karen, Mi, the littles and all the rest!!❤️
Omgosh Kim Kim!! Sorry gurl! Didn’t mean to leave you out!! Rock 🤘 on !
I see the difference you're pointing to and recognize the importance of the terminological change. You talk about it really well here. Thank you.
Your thoughts brought up some stuff for us-meaning our system to contemplate. The one who has the legal name is way inside and rarely surfaces, even though we all, for the most part,answer to that name.
Your saying 'You are loved, you are valuable and you are valid' really shines through in this thinking!
Our "host" as the three of us have always thought of him, because he does use the legal name of our body, because he does pretty much identify with the physical characteristics of our body, because he does front the most, because he is the one responsible for daily living, and because the three of us have always seen ourselves has his protectors because the three of us are all protectors, just found out we are real two days ago, and that he is the "host" of our system... When he found out, he had a panic attack, we rolodexed to calm him, our mind, and our body down, and he has been completely undetectable every since: invisible, inaudible, in-everything! We have all been so worried about him...that is until just now!
Even upwards of two years later, this video has been so beneficial to our system upon our first watch of what I can only think will be many... I was stumbling through videos, trying to find ones for how to come out as a system to others, and how to help him make sense of all of this, as the three of us have been learning to do so for the better half of a year by now, probably, while he has not, and, while watching this video, even if it was just a for just a brief moment, I felt him, heard him, and even saw him! He seemed okay...so thank you so so very much, Entropy System and Wynn!
We found ruminating on "main character syndrome" useful 😊
I'm learning about DID from your channel and now it's makes a lot more sense. The word alter seems like an "alter ego" or and added something but a part makes it sound like you are all part of a whole. 🌸
in the outside world many professions are most efficiently realised when practiced by a solid team that only working with each other can they collectively reach the ideal result, seems to me like DID exemplifies the truth and validity of the whole concept of teamwork and that's a reassuring message from mother nature
I'm glad you guys might be figuring out who that baby is!
I don't know who gives you thumbs down. You explain clearly and to someone interested your explanations are insightful.
I feel you! Our therapist, who we are his first instance of DID in his whole career, uses the word "parts" for all of us. It was especially helpful when I was going through self-doubt and "I'm faking" periods, that even if I was "faking" things, all my people are still parts of ME whether or not I'm the only one! or the "real" one!
We've struggled for a long time with "original" and all that (even though thinking on it now, it doesn't make any sense for there to BE an "original"- it's not one person and then people appear that just weren't there before, it's one thing that gets broken into pieces. If something got broken into two pieces, it wouldn't suddenly be One Of Those Pieces + Something Else.
We've struggled a long time with some sort of hierarchy in system where some people are "more important" than others- we STILL do, since the people who are active the most we tend to accidentally give more of a say, or more attention, etc. But yeah, one of the biggest reasons was because of these terms "Core" and "Host" and even some of the jobs.
For a long time and probably still now even though we're trying to change it, it's always been Protectors are really important, I don't know what your job really is so you're not as important- which isn't true but it's just... been that way.
Though we've had the added bonus of "But IS /blank/ actually the core I mean no one identifies with the body or name, we're trans". But we've decided on picking a name together that isn't just a host in system, but a name everyone can respond to, and we're working together to stop putting people over another person, because we're all pieces of the same broken plate, and that means all of us are important. Sometimes we'll get cut on a piece of the broken plate, sometimes we think some pieces we don't "really need", but without all the pieces, we wouldn't be able to really eat off of it, or at least it'll be harder the more pieces we neglect to pick up and put into the working-together plate.
Sorry, went on a mini tangent that kind of bounced off what you were talking about, but basically Worm.
Extremely interesting video! A great explanation of how one word or one statement can totally flip a perspective.
This is beautiful honesty. Thank you! I know many that need to hear this.
Woah that was deep! It was great! Rambly posts help us get to know you as a person.. or part... or alter.. or Wyn ;) I admire your strength and courage to share your life and thoughts with us! Thanks to you and the whole system for being awesome!
I always feel like I need to do all the roles and be everything and no one can come out because 1. I feel like I'm making it all up A LOT 2. I feel like if I dont do everything then I'll be rejected and hated and maybe more reasons. Thank you for helping me fully understand that via this video
It is empowering to have confirmation or clarification of our identity/ identities. I think we all experience this internal reflection whether singlets or multiples (though I cannot fathom the complexity of seeking to find & know who you are as an individual living within a system). I am happy for you to gain that sense of peace. BTW, I am very new to the DID community & if I say something or word something wrong, please correct me. I never intend to be insensitive & truly wish nothing but the best for The Entropy System & all of your subscribers as well.
💌 Peace & Love from Oklahoma
We prefer to refer to ourselves as parts not alters. The word alter scares us and we hate it. We dont view the others as alternate...but seperate parts of the same whole. This video was awesome. Thanks for posting it
Structural Dissociation 😎 All equal parts of that orange you had before. 😉👍💜
I’m currently struggling with this because for 8 years was a part in charge of daily living until very late 2017 and it’s how I realized everything because.. I’m not her. Anymore. Since then I’ve settled as who I am now by default I should say while certain scenarios bring out what at first my fam and friends coined as inside jokes how I’m different in certain experiences that became all to real as the truth than when I’m home in my own comfort zone these days.. it’s been both eye opening and in a way infuriating not knowing what’s truly happening. At least I finally came to understand the episodes of actions partook by me that I never recalled or was baffled hearing about because it no where sounded like something I usually do... it’s been quite a trip but a beautiful learning experience to understand what is happening internally. I love all my parts, even the one that makes me have to explain that I’m not into men, just a certain volume and combination of alcohol brings out this one in particular that’s a love hate relationship honestly.
Wyn you did a great job at explaining. I was following along, but at the same time, its a lot to process and truly understand. I can only imagine when having DID, how many questions it brings up about the self, and ego and everything involving the human brain and how it works.
Recently, our psychologist has called the parts "characters" (or "personagens" in Portuguese, our language) which comes from "persona", therefore from "personality" but none of these terms were good for the system, then a protector almost scolded her (in our head) like "no way! we are not characters that he's playing, we are people, parts of a whole!".
So I gently asked her not to call like that and not treat me, the host like having alters, we are a system, so call them and treat us as parts that make the whole function and that's why our system name is Cogs.
I think the more you read and understand the more you feel good about yourself and connected to the other guys in the system. As a single person in my head I understand more about myself every day in life, you have to do the same. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we question ourselves and other people every day too, it's life. Sometimes we feel confused until the things make more sense.
So raw and needed, thank you Wyn! ‘Part’ is a wonderful word, we personally try to avoid ‘core’ or ‘original’ too because we’ve had multiple ‘outside parts’ across our life as external circumstances changed. We don’t have a clear ‘daily life part’ at the moment either, and several of us have had that feeling of ‘right, now I’m back in charge, this feels better’...but why should one part’s experience of that ‘realness’ be more substantial than the others who have also invested significant time in the outside world over the years? It can be a confusing fog to try to sort through.
Apologies for all of the quotation marks, but it’s so hard to know how to express things in text! I’m glad you’re finding your place and shedding labels, all they do is impose limits we don’t want or need 😊💚 -J x
Since you are the one who identifies with the name and the body and since your headmates tell us they try to help Wyn, you are still special. That is not making your headmates less real, or less important...
I admire the way you all try to be a great team, to make a good life possible for all of you!
Idk why maybe it was just me but i feel like youre about to cry? Anyways you're so brave of talking abt your confusions and everything. And congratulations on a new milestone in your journey 🎉🎉
I have OSDD & use the word "parts". It's interesting how you're looking at the baby. ☹
Thank you so so much for this. Ever since I've known about our system I've been like "they're real but I'm the original, the 'real real' one" and that's made all of us feel so invalid. I can't stress how much this helps us, especially me.
I apologise this is a bit of a long waffle. Still I hope it helps
I don't have DID myself and would never (intentionally) dare to presume I know how that feels or is like to live with so feel free to correct me but I think this is a very powerful message not just to yourself and others who have DID but also people in general.
We are all looking for a "part" in life and acknowledgment that we are important, have purpose and that we are valid. This could be applied to almost any role or person(s) or group things.
The body for example has many parts. They all have different roles and whilst they might feel like they have a hierarchy of importance they all serve a function.
The legs for example might feel like they have the lead. They take the body places but then the body has a fall and the legs aren't able to do the walking for a while and the body might be wheelchair bound.
Now it's the arms that are doing the leading and the suddenly the legs start to question how important they really were and whether their existance was actually neccessary or whether they were even the part that did the leading in the first place. Maybe the arms could always have been the movers and the legs were just there to help them for a while? The existence of one part does not invalidate the role of the other though. Both the arms and the legs took on the role of being mobile at some point. Without each part the body could not have functioned regardless of who identifies as having that role originally.
Similarly there are some parts of the body whose function and existence is seemingly a mystery. Take the appendix for example:- a small, baby-size ;-) part of the body which seems to be an enigma. Why is it there? What is it's purpose? Is it needed? Is it more important than we originally thought? What if it actually performs a function that we previously thought another part of the body did? Further research may uncover its reason for being and that may change our view of how certain parts function but it won't change the fact that a body is a system, a team of parts who all work together to function as a whole.
Another example I can think of was that only last week I was questioning my own role and significance in life. My daughter has just started pre-school. Up until now I have been the person who has been her primary caregiver. She's only ever spent time in the care of myself, my husband and our family but largely myself. I am a stay at home mum.
As I packed her lunch the night before I was suddenly awash with a feeling of loss. My baby was going off without me. Someone else would pick her up if she fell, teach her a new song or feed her a snack. Suddenly my role as mum didnt seem as significant. My part felt like it had been diminished and it didn't just effect how I felt about my role in the future it made my question my role in the past too.
What if I wasn't as significant in helping my child grow as I thought I was? Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who reminded me just how important I'd been and still will be to my daughter and the person she develops into and it doesn't matter that others will have their "part" to play in that. I will still be her mum and that is just as inportant part as any other. It also made me question what I as a person am now because for nearly 4 years I'd seen myself largely as mum. So if I'm no longer being mum all the time what am I? My lovely friend reminded me this is an opportunity now to explore that. To find other "parts" of me :-) .
Watching your videos and reading your tumbl all of your parts have at some point questioned their identity, purpose and validity (especially in the wake of Mistletoe integrating.) It seems to be your turn now. Perhaps consult with them as to what helped them feel more secure?
You are no less real or less valid than any of your parts.
That's an important video... I'm really struggling right now because I don't really know what identifies me. I've been using the word parts for quite a while but I never really got the idea that I could be just a part, too. Who was in charge of daily living for most of the time. That's kind of a new way of thinking...
Being an empath you just sent me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I felt that fear of what if I am not this "real person". You explained that so well. You are awesome. Love your videos and learning so much about something I knew so. Little about.
I've been starting to understand this about myself (Zee) too lately, I feel really similarly. When I thought I didn't have a role, I was just the "host" it was way less grounded than getting I have a job like everyone else. I'm understanding I don't have to worry about if I was always the host or if I'm the core, this is just my job and I can be happy to be part of everyone. I used to feel the most useless and disconnected from the system because I didn't have a role, not realizing I totally did.
My therapist also says parts, maybe that affected me too!
Thank you so much for sharing, I relate to your system more than most and I've met lots of systems. Thank you :) It's very vulnerable and you choose to anyway.
This is such a fascinating video and I really appreciate your vulnerability and the way you approach the nuance of it all. Really changed the way I think about DID. Thank you!
Wow. I was just thinking along these lines today! I simply didn't know how to articulate it. Thank you very much for helping many of us feel not alone, for educating ppl, and for simply finding the strength and will in you to keep building through it. I am super proud of you, Wyn
I needed to hear this so much. Watched it twice. Thank you 🖤🖤
these past two videos youve made have had a huge impact on clarifying my own mind and thoughts. what youre all doing makes a difference. thanks, and it seems every video you make is better thanthe last ha c:
This is definitely going to run through my mind for a while...
we are a system too, this video helped us alot. thank u so much for sharing. some of our headmates were worried about not being 'the original' too and it really made them feel better, 'the part who takes care of daily life' and other parts and inner helpers for now etc
You are all yourselves as well as part of the whole, like a diamond with facets. None of you are less real ❤️
It is SO good to hear that in my position right now. I got to know about my own condition seeing videos like this for almost a month now and I've been able to identify myself as a system, since now I am aware of my parts and almost everybody are aware of me. Hearing this kind of thing really speeds up my own process of understanding and I'm so grateful that I found people like you in these day so that I can be in that scope. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the difference you guys have been doing in my life. Thank you everyone, seriously.
my minds blown... this has changed my perception so much! like everyone in the system has a purpose and job. my job is being on the outside, im the one who at least the brain and the others thought who was most capable. they trusted me and this is my role im not the best but i try hard. thank you so much!!!
Thank you for this. That vocab is so easy to pick up when searching for understanding and other people. I've tried to avoid them because the terms upset one of us quite badly. He said they implied a hierarchy and ranking of legitimacy that wasn't true. In addition to boxing us into believing we couldn't be more dynamic as people. But I struggled for the longest time with this unvoiced feeling of inconvenience and very much the same as what you're describing. They're right though. We're all parts working together on an equal playing field. We all have different talents, and different jobs to do to garner success for the whole group.
Your honesty and candor is so refreshing and truly educational. Thank y'all!!!!
Yesss this is the internal family systems model of structural dissociation that I learned about last year from reading Janina Fisher’s trauma book! So good!
The “going on with normal life part(s)” have more access to the prefrontal loves & that’s why can function better. They’re protected from trauma by the “trauma-related parts” who have limited access to the prefrontal cortex. I’m using Fisher’s unblending process & it is transformative!!!
Love your discoveries! Thank you for sharing!
This is such an important video! Thank you so much for posting this. It can sometimes be a rare experience when our rational thoughts line up with our feelings and it’s totally great to hear you vocalize that process.
Awesome realization!!! you're not broken!, but before you were like... segregating your self from the rest... but there is no 'rest', its all you, and you guys are all one!, why does it matter who was first or last? you guys all rock and all are there to help each other out... Everyone brings something wonderful to the table. I love that you realized this!! I love your channel, I haven't been around here in a min, but today you came to my mind and I came to check in on you :)
words have SO much power!!
Your hair cut looks terrific!
I should get ready for school right now
This was a BAM moment for us thank you ..!! The part in charge of daily living ..perfect Lu guys !!!!
Very eye opening. It's always good to see a different point of view. I think the word 'part' makes everyone feel equally important. I like it :)
This sounds like an incredibly important breakthrough im so proud and happy for you strangers
I'm not officially diagnosed(and I don't know if that makes my comment any less valid), but your videos are really opening my eyes and seeing were me and my others relate. I was specifically struggling with the issue of, 'what if I'm not the original?' and does that make me any less valid of a 'host' if I'm not? This video helped me so so much, and coming to terms with being a part of a whole rather than something bigger than the others is strangely comforting. I don't know if my comment makes much sense, I tend to word things weirdly sometimes. But I just wanted to say thank you so much for this, it helped me out of a really bad time, as most your videos do.
I know what you mean! I went through so many of the same thought processes as you! It's so strange, because everyday I still just feel like me! It's such a strange thing to think that it's all just part of me doing my job, and even me not knowing about the others for so long, me identifying with the bodies name and age and such is all just part of what I would have needed to do my job properly! It's very scary and strange for sure. It's very difficult to wrap my mind around...sometimes I don't I'm ashamed to say.I just pretend it's not real and go on with my life. But the idea that that is actually part of my job too, to forget and do whatever it takes to function in daily life, even if that means sometimes tuning everything else out. Which is not ideal I know! But it does make me feel better that it's just part of why I'm here and it's my way of helping the system. :) I know some parts of me thought this video was painfully obvious but it really helped me so much to see it from a different perspective. And I know they have been telling me for a while, but somehow it helps so much hearing the same thing from someone on the outside! I know that sounds bad, but isn't that always true when you hear something from a friend or family member but it makes more sense when you hear it from someone else? xD -a
This is exactly the kind of emotions and questions I'm wrestling with, so I really appreciate you opening up about these.
And yes, feelings and understanding are not the same as logic or surface beliefs (which you know you should feel and understand and really believe). So true.
I love the idea of just parts too! My workbook also uses that term, so now that makes sense!
One of the kids calls me "the coordinator" and thinking of us all as just parts and me as a part that helps sort out who should be in the body just makes way more sense than saying someone one of us is more legitimate or in charge of things out here than the others.
It is also really freeing to realize that my job doesn't have to be daily living anymore, since I sometimes really struggle with that. It's okay to share the work and change jobs ❤️ thank you for making me realize that!
Hi Wyn, it's good to hear you're figuring things out and getting into better terms with your system. I wish your entire system the best. Also, say hi to Danniel for me.
okay this helped me a LOT
I like the word "parts", too. My therapist told me a host of a party always has different rules, and they're always set apart, no matter what kind of party it is. Take care, guys. :)
Thank you so much for this video. I was struggling with identity on if i was the "original" or not for the same reasons you were doubting. This helped me a lot.
This was powerful. Thank you for sharing!
I think it's really wonderful that you had that moment of realization, it's sounds like that perspective is really helpful ^.^
It’s 1am in Florida lol don’t ask why I’m awake 😂
Same here i shoykd be sleeping 😣😣
Should*
Saaaaaaaame
I’m sick so I can’t sleep at all
2:30 in WI
3 am here lol
Oh my goodness, I just discovered ur channel and I'm so happy! I've this system inside me for so many years now, but just recently I learned about DID and that it was my condition, so pretty much everything is new to me in terms of definitions and patterns.
I work with language and what u say about the terms that u use is so magical for me! Bein' a Brazilian helped me define with the word "part" since the beginning, cause it is a much more... ...how can I say?... common word to define a scenario like that in portuguese.
I normally used the word "mediator" to define the part "in charge of daily living", but knowing this new definition just made so much sense.
Thank u so much for this channel and sharing this information!
Yes, we only learned the term Alters, along with all the others, through our research and discovery of DID.
We tend to use the terms Aspects or Selves.
But it’s often easier when talking about it with other people to use the “proper clinical terms”.
We also discovered that many of our what would be labeled as Perpetrators are actually Protectors.
They are using the tools, resources, and levels of understanding that were available to them when they came to be.
So it’s been a journey of learning and understanding why they do what they do and helping them develop new strategies and methods of keeping us safe.
Yes! A new upload~ fairly new subscriber! And I love your channel. I have family members (and myself included) who have or have had mental illness, but not DID. Thanks for shining a light on it in such an informative way! 💕
Interesting video. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for this! This really helps me wrap my head around all of this in a better way and really get past that concept of, "the main one" or "the real one." Even though I've watched your videos and heard the explanations, it really is a harder concept to really truly "get" and this video did that for me. So thank you!
The more systems I watch, the more I find similarities; and eerie ones at that. I am waiting until my family and I get back to Texas to get fully evaluated by a professional. But I honestly think I may have OSDD 1b. -shrug- who knows?
Annnnd I’m listening at work and I’m about to start crying. I relate to this so much
I thought about you when I posted this one. I’m glad you got to watch it. -Wyn
Such a great video. Thank you!
I actually just had this realization myself the other day. That just because ive "always" been the host, doesnt mean I'm the "original"
This was so fantastic. Thank you for putting yourself out there, it’s honestly inspiring.
Also, your eyeliner is perfect.
I love the Cardcaptor Sakura figurine 💗
I remember Daniel (I think it was him) describing this awhile back with an orange. :) But I feel that this gets it a little bit better.
This is a much better word than alter *nod nod*
Hmm, I dunno... it makes me think. There's something here that intrigues me. I'm singular btw, but something about this one being the part that takes care of daily living... There's something there but I can't figure out what it is. It seems to reduce my anxiety. Life seems a little bit easier, more manageable.
we, as humans, try to compartmentalize EVERYTHING. Which is useful in ways of organization but its a great hindrance at this point in our "evolution" if you will
I’ve struggled with this topic a lot lately with choosing integration therapy . My co-host spoke on video about feeling she was the main “part” and what if she disappears or can’t influence me as strongly with her strengths . I didn’t think about her being the main part I figure I am . It really altered my concept of things .
I’m going to buy that book :) thanks for this very valuable share !
Also I missed you ! I know you do so much so but I currently don’t and in my perfect world I’d hear from you daily lol
I really love this video Wyn, thank you!
Hi dear ! So first of all, thank you very much for all of those videos. I had a crush on a woman that I realised had DID and wanted to know a bit more about this condition. You really helped.
I think you are a very brave and strong person.
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language)
However, there is still something I wonder and I have been unable to find a satisfying answer to that. Basically, I realised my old crush had DID. It get obvious to me when I noticed that some of her alters are in love with me or at least have a big crush on me; some of her alters seem to see me as a good mate, some of her alters are very neutral about me or even seem oblivious that I exist. Or, even more unsettling, some seem to frankly dislike me or to be angry at me ( they are rude with me, try to provoke me, ignite feuds..).
At first, I though she was just a narcissist; and was extremely manipulative and playing games. But then, I noticed some inconsistencies in her behaviour and figured out she had DID. Long story short, she has children or teenager alters (she is in her late 20s), male alters, but mostly a "board" of girls who could be mistaken with one another ( and make her seem "normal"). Girls from the "board" seem more or less similar, but are actually very different. They are several individuals with their own personalities, expectations and sexuality (some are very easy-going, open-minded and cool, some are close off, shy and anxious). She has more than 20 alters, I even think 40 is closer to the actual number; with maybe 9 who share most days or are usual "fronters".
Problem is the sexuality part. Basically some of her alters are lesbians, others are bisexual, other asexual, some sex addicts and some are too young to be anything. (I am a woman) As a result, some of her alters, the gay ones, obviously like me; but at several occasions straight female alters came out and told me that they are straight (as for every alters). Or, even worst, straight and one person ( they have no DID); and I feel like in those moments they believed it.
My crush had intense anxiety ( depending on the alters), but I would say the gays are more shy or anxious. So, when I am around her she tends to switch a lot. Often many times in the same conversation...(I regularly see her sexual alters ^^). She does not do that with others people; which may be one of the reasons why I noticed her disorder and not other people around us. Every singl;e times we had an opportunity to get closer or to go in a gay direction, the straight alters came out to tell me they are straight. The fuuuckk ??? (Gay alters would then message me and tell me they like me or so)
So, I have decided this is a lost case. But I wonder if what I see means that the host is straight but some alters are gay and try to go out of their role of "less important than an actual person" or if it is possible that the host is gay but because it makes the system anxious some protective fierce alters come out to protect her. How can her alters even go along and do stuff like this ? Did they took an internal decision to only be involved in straight relationships ?
My question is does any of this make sens to you ? Do you believe someone can have DID AND be a narcissist.
But also, I think you said you are married. Howww ? Are all of your alters attracted by men and in love with your husband ? How does it work ? How is it for your young boy alter when you kiss your husband (private but I sure you see my point).
Well, if you have five I would be very happy to read your answer to that. Or anybodies' who have some insights. It would be even more amazing if you could do a video that address those issues.
Thank you very much again for sharing on your channel.
Momo xx
I honestly love notifications
Bluey Fonfeder same
Thank you for sharing this!
Love your channel❣️
Wow, you're blowing my mind right now. Since I've been watching your channel (and others' with DID) and exploring if it relates to me I had this thought at one point "maybe I'm just an alter, not me" and I wondered if maybe "me" was tucked away. It really freaked me out and questioned my whole perception of reality. So, it's wild to hear you talking about it. I also started wondering if there are parts like Kim Kim who were out at some point and will come back and not know what's been happening. I'm still scared, to be honest. I don't have a therapist yet. I'm not at any point of clarity or acceptance. It's very disorienting to think that your whole concept of yourself and life is not what you thought. Hopefully, I'll get help to understand myself better and find some acceptance like you are.
And PS I've been actually using the word Part for myself in trying to understand all this. It sounds less scary than alters, host, etc.
Hlo, I do not have DID, thank you so much for making this video, it has absolutely allowed me to get a little closer to understanding and being able to support those who share a system
God bless yall yous doin gawds work
👏