I love that he asks what you prefer every step of the way. Even if you don’t know, the asking helps to put the focus on you and forces you to think of what could support you in the moment. It’s a simple and empowering thing anyone can do for someone going through it.
He's got your help list inscribed in every lobe of his brain. He even knows "no Marvel when feeling depressed" because while Marvel has good movies and shows, they aren't good when your already in the dumps
Specifically because infinity war and endgame are emotional as Hell for marvel fans. Not good when depressed. Like most of the individual hero movies are fine. Even the first avengers. But then it just becomes an emotional pit after that.
@@maybelinefox3878 I didn't feel much when i watched Infinity War and Endgame, it hurt to know some of my favorite characters are now gone, but I had no deep emotional attachment to them like other fans. Not saying it's bad to have those attachments, but I personally didn't find myself to have them
@@ShovelMarshy Honestly i was more shocked than anything but the snap had already been spoiled for me so I was mostly just shocked at who went. Specifically other than that I think the emotional parts for me were watching Thor struggle with his loss and guilt and the major fight scene in endgame
@@chrisleneil there are! (At least in my country, not sure about the US) They’re called support groups for relatives of ppl with ptsd (or else) relationships are always work, but it can really weigh on your psyche if a loved one is struggling with a mental illness that you are supporting them through. That’s okay, asking for help is okay, not being able to support them sometimes is okay as well, take care of yourself and make sure YOU are getting all of the support you need as well. I’m pretty sure none of us ptsd folks can express how incredibly thankful we are for support, but we want y’all to be healthy and supported as well.
I love aggressively supporting my clients!! I'm a therapist, so it's a lot of "let's do what you need to do to feel safe right now, your emotions are valid, we feel this way because trauma is currently happening/has happened, you want some food?, who hurt you this time, sign a release so I can physically fight them, your abuser can suck it". I also get very literal in what makes them feel safe! If we need to throw my office into chaos to physically bar the door, there's incredible satisfaction and pride in seeing a teenager calm down enough to methodically move things away from the door to let themselves out and others in again. If I was writing a book it'd be decried as too heavy-handed, but the physical action of doing something that mirrors your psychological moment (I also have a really beautiful chaotic painting that was made by a client who was in crisis that's then bordered by some detail work that they made as they calmed down enough to be slow, and the attention needed for detail work was calming in itself) can really get things moving in there and also be a reference for every time you're in that situation again.
You have never worked in a nursing home then. On a daily basis,I yell yo one one of my residents,either because they cant hear or because they need to believe, that we will miss them if they leave.
That's my husband, too. "It's sunny outside, let's go for a walk, your favourite place. Do you want ice cream? We're getting ice cream. GET READY FOR YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM"
Words can not describe how much I appreciate him not really expecting you to know what to eat. Just order it all and let things sort themselves out naturally 🤣
Honestly this made me happy. I know that I'm just some random stranger but honestly this helped. I'm going through my own depressive episode and just seeing this video made me remember that there are people who care. I guess what I'm saying is you make your viewers happy and I'm glad to be subscribed to you. :3
My fiance is the same why. Aggressive caretaking is hilarious. Like it is so off-putting to have someone immediately jump to your aid in every way that actually helps support you.
Huh. I use some of these techniques to help with sensory overload. I'm just noticing a couple similarities for the first time. I also get some trauma responses for things that happened to me and as a part of that I sometimes get emotional flashbacks. I just never made the connection between some of the soothing methods for both situations. I guess weighted blankets and variants of stimming and such are good methods for everyone to have in their life. Also tip in the case of a lack of weighted blanket plant your back against a cool wall and sit down and press up against it. It helps to ground. I don't know if this works for PTSD but it helps ground me during sensory overload. Update (2 Months Later): While this still works for sensory overload stuff. It turns out that I also have PTSD and have used this technique for it. Who knew?! Not me, I was not fully ready to accept this.
I get sensory overload due to my mental issues, and it helps me understand my autistic brother in ways no one else in the family can. We've taught each other ways to cope.
Thanks for the reminder to appreciate and often “translate” my husband’s way of caring for me. He can be a little gruff but his heart is in the right place 🥰 Happy you two understand and love each other so beautifully ❤️❤️❤️
OMG love people like this. So happy for you and all the people in the comments that say their partner is like this. And fingers crossed that the rest of us find someone or become like your husband.
That’s true love 💕 when they stand by you and *assist* you with what you need and you trust to have care for you. I love seeing this example!!! Sometimes a “drill sergeant of love” is what is needed to override one of abuse. Here’s to further recovery!
Adorable. I love how your husband supports you. Let him know he's doing a great job. Good luck feeling terrible around the surprise of being suddenly taken care of!
For me it was a matter of getting to a point in my recovery where I value myself enough to speak up for myself. Only then was I able to recognize the safety and support others were willing to provide.
This is exactly how neurodivergent people want to be taken care of to an extent. For example, my good friend ADHD. "Baaaby this assignment is boring and I keep getting distracted." *Kidnaps phone* "You are not leaving that chair until your work is done, and I'll sit next to you and do some homework I need to work on too to make sure you're on track." If you know someone with ADHD needs to be doing something in the moment they're texting you, the proper response is a reminder, then don't respond after. My boyfriend does this it's so helpful.
Huh this is so similar with how my dad takes care of my mom every time my mom is having one of her anxiety attacks which shaped what we do when my dad is away for work....
FIRST and i love ur content nique. Cant wait for more mha vidoes. Mha is how i found u and knew i needed to support u after seeing more of ur videos and ur journey Oh and i am curently watching inuyasha too 😁
This is legit me when my bestie is going though a depression episode, I’m straight forward and aggressive in a kind way and hey, it works so she can’t complain either 😂😂
😂😂🤣🤣🤣 it’s good to have someone that can be mad on your behalf. I had a therapist tell me that the gateway to feeling better is to move through my emotions in stages. I had spiraled into depression and eventually felt nothing. He told me to feel something, watch something really sad to get that feeling back. Then get angry. The angrier the better; anger can be paired with actions like exercising/ power lifting, or in my case video games. Channeling that anger into something that can give you a sense of accomplishment with give you a sense of relief. After a couple years of feeling practically nothing, that relief was like breathing for the first time, and it marked the first stage to my recovery.
Thank you for making this. I now get to throw this video at my partner and they don't get a "my partner isn't allowed to help me" excuse because this is a healthy dynamic and is also funny.
LOLOLOL the look on his face when you said endgame like: "u stupid??? Hell to the no" Which is reassuring knowing he will at least makes sure you dont make DUMB choices 🤣🤣🤣
It's nice seeing a woman that is funny and pretty that has PTSD. I have it and OCD and I feel that people demonize having mental illnesses. I've literally been told that people with OCD are bad evil people. I just find it nice to see "hey, just another woman like me who has mental issues but she's still cool, funny and nice". Also I liked seeing how my way of dealing with it resembles a bit of yours, it feels like it's normal. My comfort food are sweets though 😁
I really love him being a safe space for you! The affirmations were fire! The grounding technique was new I need to look that up. Right now my hubby and I say affirmations every morning!
My step mom had to put down her cat, and we didn't know for like a year he had mouth tumors, so it was also trauma of letting our poor cat suffer. We decided going out to a movie would be a great distraction...while Hunger Games was out. Immediately vetoed that one because the only thing that would be worse would be reading the book.
my god i wish i had the skills of your husband. someone cries around me and i have moved to a different continent and called in 3 different replacements. love the support and hope you feel better
I call it aggressive love and affection. And yes " Bitch no " Is the the most common phrase to use while engaging. "I think I sucked today. " " Bitch no, you're amazing everyday, and everything you do matters" Your husband and you are epic, feel better!!!
Okay, but can we just acknowledge how fucking sweet this whole thing was? Like, I’m not the only one who now immediately sees Nicque’s husband as a total cinnamon roll, right?? Right??
This is me when my sister is on the edge of an episode and needs some extra love to not go into crisis. But then, I am her caretaker as well as family. So I am ready for game time anytime like he probably is for you.
I love that he asks what you prefer every step of the way. Even if you don’t know, the asking helps to put the focus on you and forces you to think of what could support you in the moment. It’s a simple and empowering thing anyone can do for someone going through it.
Nicque: I think I’m gonna watch Marvel to get me through my depress-
Both her therapist & her husband: NO
He's got your help list inscribed in every lobe of his brain. He even knows "no Marvel when feeling depressed" because while Marvel has good movies and shows, they aren't good when your already in the dumps
Specifically because infinity war and endgame are emotional as Hell for marvel fans. Not good when depressed. Like most of the individual hero movies are fine. Even the first avengers. But then it just becomes an emotional pit after that.
@@maybelinefox3878 I didn't feel much when i watched Infinity War and Endgame, it hurt to know some of my favorite characters are now gone, but I had no deep emotional attachment to them like other fans. Not saying it's bad to have those attachments, but I personally didn't find myself to have them
@@ShovelMarshy Honestly i was more shocked than anything but the snap had already been spoiled for me so I was mostly just shocked at who went. Specifically other than that I think the emotional parts for me were watching Thor struggle with his loss and guilt and the major fight scene in endgame
HIm asking was the Illusion of the freedom of Choice
@@maybelinefox3878 Add "No Way Home" to that list.
Wow. I feel seen.
As a neurotypical person taking care of a wife with severe PTSD, this is *spot on!!* 😂
You’re a good partner 👍🏻
As an ND person with PTSD, I feel like there should be a support group for those like you, my wife & Nicque’s husband!💜
@@chrisleneil there are! (At least in my country, not sure about the US) They’re called support groups for relatives of ppl with ptsd (or else) relationships are always work, but it can really weigh on your psyche if a loved one is struggling with a mental illness that you are supporting them through. That’s okay, asking for help is okay, not being able to support them sometimes is okay as well, take care of yourself and make sure YOU are getting all of the support you need as well. I’m pretty sure none of us ptsd folks can express how incredibly thankful we are for support, but we want y’all to be healthy and supported as well.
@@chrisleneil Also me. My wife has depression, and more. I am the exact same way as Nique's husband when my wife goes dep ep.
Sir, you're one of the people making this world better. Sincerely, from someone with PTSD
I didn't know you could aggressively take care of someone you learn something new everyday
Takes years and then finally letting themselves feel comfortable with you knowing what's what.
I love aggressively supporting my clients!! I'm a therapist, so it's a lot of "let's do what you need to do to feel safe right now, your emotions are valid, we feel this way because trauma is currently happening/has happened, you want some food?, who hurt you this time, sign a release so I can physically fight them, your abuser can suck it". I also get very literal in what makes them feel safe! If we need to throw my office into chaos to physically bar the door, there's incredible satisfaction and pride in seeing a teenager calm down enough to methodically move things away from the door to let themselves out and others in again. If I was writing a book it'd be decried as too heavy-handed, but the physical action of doing something that mirrors your psychological moment (I also have a really beautiful chaotic painting that was made by a client who was in crisis that's then bordered by some detail work that they made as they calmed down enough to be slow, and the attention needed for detail work was calming in itself) can really get things moving in there and also be a reference for every time you're in that situation again.
I do it all the time lol I hear my best friend shit talk themselves and I will slap some self love into that mofo
You have never worked in a nursing home then. On a daily basis,I yell yo one one of my residents,either because they cant hear or because they need to believe, that we will miss them if they leave.
I've aggressively taken care of a college roommate when she was sick.
It's about intensity
That's my husband, too. "It's sunny outside, let's go for a walk, your favourite place. Do you want ice cream? We're getting ice cream. GET READY FOR YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM"
Always good to have aggressive support every once in a while
Coming from a fellow Marvel/Inuyasha fan who suffers with sporadic bouts of PTSD this was spot on
This is honestly how I am towards anyone I care about. Glad to see you have someone in your life who cares for you like this
Not me running to go take my medicine cause I forgot. 😂
You're husband is amazing.
I love aggressive kindness
That's a T -shirt 🤔
@@Blaxdon really, where can I buy it
I mean that word phrasing should be in a t-shirt.
We love your supportive husband
Nicque: I'm in a bad place i think-
Husband: 💥👄💥 *ENGAGING IN ADDITIONAL LOVE AND CARE*
I misread your comment and thought it said "love and cake" 😂
@@m3ph1t27 well I mean..
@@m3ph1t27 HAHA😂
@@m3ph1t27 cake could be on the menu. Cake could definitely be on the menu. Why don’t _I_ have cake? …I’m ordering cake
@@m3ph1t27 that would also work 😄
"B no. Were watching inuyasha. Wtf" this had me dying!!! It was a trick question
I am the aggressive caretaker in my circle of friends and my romantic relationship with my beloved of 12 years next month ❤️
Happy earlyversary, and your loved someones are lucky to have you. Hope your anniversary is lovely ❣️
Congrats to you both 🥰
I love both your username and comment . 😅🥰😁
Words can not describe how much I appreciate him not really expecting you to know what to eat. Just order it all and let things sort themselves out naturally 🤣
Honestly this made me happy.
I know that I'm just some random stranger but honestly this helped. I'm going through my own depressive episode and just seeing this video made me remember that there are people who care.
I guess what I'm saying is you make your viewers happy and I'm glad to be subscribed to you. :3
I second this motion!
My fiance is the same why. Aggressive caretaking is hilarious. Like it is so off-putting to have someone immediately jump to your aid in every way that actually helps support you.
I don’t think the point of the video was to make it look offputting
Huh. I use some of these techniques to help with sensory overload. I'm just noticing a couple similarities for the first time. I also get some trauma responses for things that happened to me and as a part of that I sometimes get emotional flashbacks. I just never made the connection between some of the soothing methods for both situations. I guess weighted blankets and variants of stimming and such are good methods for everyone to have in their life.
Also tip in the case of a lack of weighted blanket plant your back against a cool wall and sit down and press up against it. It helps to ground. I don't know if this works for PTSD but it helps ground me during sensory overload.
Update (2 Months Later): While this still works for sensory overload stuff. It turns out that I also have PTSD and have used this technique for it. Who knew?! Not me, I was not fully ready to accept this.
Thank you for the tip. I would use a cool wall to calm down and get my body back to normal when I was younger and had fainting spells.
I get sensory overload due to my mental issues, and it helps me understand my autistic brother in ways no one else in the family can. We've taught each other ways to cope.
Whatever Nicque said in her prayers to get such an amazing husband. Also me Lord. I also say Amen 🕯️🕯️
I'm nearly in tears laughing - this is literally me whenever my wife is down :D Gotta show her this later . . .
That is what we call supportive. Now, we envy you all and I want him one lone.
Thanks for the reminder to appreciate and often “translate” my husband’s way of caring for me. He can be a little gruff but his heart is in the right place 🥰
Happy you two understand and love each other so beautifully ❤️❤️❤️
He's a keeper!
The most I have ever felt loved was being dragged out the door for a walk during a panic attack. This is hella accurate.
Get yourself somebody who loves you even in your darkest times. God bless this man for being there for you.
I love this!!! My husband does this too. Yay for good men!
This reminded me to take my meds. I think I was disassociating when my reminder alarm went off. Thank you xx
Not me sitting here with the same exact weighted blanket and cup (mine is bluer)
OMG love people like this. So happy for you and all the people in the comments that say their partner is like this. And fingers crossed that the rest of us find someone or become like your husband.
🤞🏿❣️
Awww. Everyone needs an aggressive caretaker like that sometimes.
That’s true love 💕 when they stand by you and *assist* you with what you need and you trust to have care for you. I love seeing this example!!!
Sometimes a “drill sergeant of love” is what is needed to override one of abuse.
Here’s to further recovery!
Adorable. I love how your husband supports you. Let him know he's doing a great job. Good luck feeling terrible around the surprise of being suddenly taken care of!
This is so sweet, reminds me of my dad when I tell him I’m depressed
Omg maybe I should do this to my fiancé xD
It's possible to feel safe enough with someone to admit you are having a depressive episode? I got to get me one of these "husbands!"
For me it was a matter of getting to a point in my recovery where I value myself enough to speak up for myself. Only then was I able to recognize the safety and support others were willing to provide.
No marvel while depressed unless it's Baby Groot.
Can I hire your husband for an hour? 🤔
Sent to husband. (He's lovely. He's supportive. He's loving. He's still going to watch this.)
"You are being loved and supported, do not resist"
It is so sweet that your husband is so attentive when you need him
This is exactly how neurodivergent people want to be taken care of to an extent. For example, my good friend ADHD.
"Baaaby this assignment is boring and I keep getting distracted."
*Kidnaps phone*
"You are not leaving that chair until your work is done, and I'll sit next to you and do some homework I need to work on too to make sure you're on track."
If you know someone with ADHD needs to be doing something in the moment they're texting you, the proper response is a reminder, then don't respond after. My boyfriend does this it's so helpful.
Huh this is so similar with how my dad takes care of my mom every time my mom is having one of her anxiety attacks which shaped what we do when my dad is away for work....
FIRST and i love ur content nique. Cant wait for more mha vidoes. Mha is how i found u and knew i needed to support u after seeing more of ur videos and ur journey
Oh and i am curently watching inuyasha too 😁
Taking COPIOUS NOTES
Also, we stan your supporty hubby!
Glad to know your partner knows how to help.
This is legit me when my bestie is going though a depression episode, I’m straight forward and aggressive in a kind way and hey, it works so she can’t complain either 😂😂
Lol. I deal w/ bipolar depression, not PTSD, but my husband is similar. Less forceful, but similar. This was fun to watch. Very cute!
As a woman with Major Anxiety/Depression, I LOVE ❤️ BOTH your Husband and Therapist!👍
I’m sorry for your struggles, but I’m so happy you have each other 💕 Take care!
😂😂🤣🤣🤣 it’s good to have someone that can be mad on your behalf.
I had a therapist tell me that the gateway to feeling better is to move through my emotions in stages. I had spiraled into depression and eventually felt nothing. He told me to feel something, watch something really sad to get that feeling back. Then get angry. The angrier the better; anger can be paired with actions like exercising/ power lifting, or in my case video games. Channeling that anger into something that can give you a sense of accomplishment with give you a sense of relief. After a couple years of feeling practically nothing, that relief was like breathing for the first time, and it marked the first stage to my recovery.
(Fervently takes notes to aggressively self-care my inner child)
📝📒🔥🔥🔥🌫🌫
🤓
Thank you for making this. I now get to throw this video at my partner and they don't get a "my partner isn't allowed to help me" excuse because this is a healthy dynamic and is also funny.
This ones really funny and really sweet at the same time, your husband is awesome!
"bitch no, We're doing Inuyasha"
...good man. He's a keeper indeed
I am so jealous you have that. I am happy for you but also wish I had it too.
YAY FOR GOOD HUSBAND
Always gotta go with InuYasha ❤️
#RelationshipGoals
Inuyasha is a good call
Lol this is awesome! Love, that he loves and knows you so well, and how to help take care of your needs! Two Thumps WAAAAY UP!!!!
LOLOLOL the look on his face when you said endgame like: "u stupid??? Hell to the no"
Which is reassuring knowing he will at least makes sure you dont make DUMB choices 🤣🤣🤣
This is so my best friend and I when I’m having a depressive episode. Especially the “DRINK WATER AND TAKE YOUR MEDS!” bit.
Me to my boyfriend. Accept the love and CHILLLLLL
I always watch Ponyo when I’m feeling down. It just makes me happy :)
It's nice seeing a woman that is funny and pretty that has PTSD. I have it and OCD and I feel that people demonize having mental illnesses. I've literally been told that people with OCD are bad evil people. I just find it nice to see "hey, just another woman like me who has mental issues but she's still cool, funny and nice". Also I liked seeing how my way of dealing with it resembles a bit of yours, it feels like it's normal. My comfort food are sweets though 😁
I really love him being a safe space for you! The affirmations were fire! The grounding technique was new I need to look that up. Right now my hubby and I say affirmations every morning!
Where did you find this man? DIRECTIONS PLEASE 🤩😱🤯
My step mom had to put down her cat, and we didn't know for like a year he had mouth tumors, so it was also trauma of letting our poor cat suffer. We decided going out to a movie would be a great distraction...while Hunger Games was out. Immediately vetoed that one because the only thing that would be worse would be reading the book.
Where can I find a husband like this? I will travel to the ends of the Earth. I will bring snacks.
my god i wish i had the skills of your husband. someone cries around me and i have moved to a different continent and called in 3 different replacements. love the support and hope you feel better
I call it aggressive love and affection. And yes " Bitch no " Is the the most common phrase to use while engaging.
"I think I sucked today. "
" Bitch no, you're amazing everyday, and everything you do matters"
Your husband and you are epic, feel better!!!
0:11 I just realized that I have that exact same weighted blanket.😊
Okay, but can we just acknowledge how fucking sweet this whole thing was? Like, I’m not the only one who now immediately sees Nicque’s husband as a total cinnamon roll, right?? Right??
The moment she was like "Endgame" I was like "Ha! Yeah, no"
I need a man who asks what I want, but when I make a bad call, tells me "We're doing Inuyasha."
This is me when my sister is on the edge of an episode and needs some extra love to not go into crisis. But then, I am her caretaker as well as family. So I am ready for game time anytime like he probably is for you.
I am glad you have someone who can help you when your PTSD kicks in
I love how energetic your videos are! They always make me laugh!
I didn’t know aggressive caregiving was an option, but heck yes. And sushi is always a comfort food, like hands down yes!
Oml my friends boyfriend does the same thing it's to much alike
Gotta love a supportive spouse
Hubby said "I am here to help. Do not resist" lol
SLAYYYYY NICQUEEEE
Sometimes the ADHD comes in clutch.
Does he have a twin sister who is single I need this in my life asap
I NEED ME A MAN LIKE THAT! WHERE YALL GETTING THESE GENTLEMAN FROM 😭
I love your water bottle! It's really cool
YOU GOT A GOOD ONE, KEEP HIM
My husband does the same thing 😂
Wait… men like this exist? 😳
Where can I find me someone like that?
“Bitch..no…🤨” lolll
He cares and makes an attempt, that what matters most. I totally love it!!!
This is amazing and your husband rules!
I wish I'd had that many tools, and confidence, the times I was in that role.
Awww so sweet!! He gets husband trophy of just awesomeness ✨✨I do the same thing for my loved ones
I love this so much. ♡♡♡ I need someone like him in my life xD
😂😂😂😂 ❤
God is my aggressive caretaker! Whenever I get stressed and depressed, he be like you finna catch this peace TODAY!😂😂😂
Congratulations, your Husband is now my Role Model because that is LITERALLY my playbook XD