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NARCISSISTS: Confusing masters of whataboutism
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2023
- Ever feel your head spin when you're trying to express your feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs to a Hijackal? Of course, you have. That's because they are masters of this phenomena know as WhatAboutIsm or WhatAboutery. It's a powerful defense and deflection strategy narcissists use to confuse! Learn what it sounds like because you already know what it feels like. When you recognize it and name it for yourself, you can refuse to play along with it again.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Why Hijackals® use whataboutism
- What "whataboutism" is and how it is defined
- How whataboutism a dysfunctional defense mechanism
- How whataboutism creates an instant double standard
- Why hypocrites practice whataboutism
- What to do in the moment that you recognize whataboutism is happening
The Hijackals defense mechanisms can be SO infuriating and frustrating. There SO many defense mechanisms It's crazy-making, and whataboutism is one of the most crazy-making. Learn more about that in this episode...and, what to do in the face of it.
01:08 Projection, defense mechanisms, toxic relationships, empowerment.
04:26 Skillful evasion through counteraccusation and diversion.
07:57 Ignoring past abuse, deflecting blame; changing subjects.
10:56 Whataboutery discredits opponents; Hijackals prevent equality.
13:17 Circular conversations, hijackles, reversal of accusations.
16:31 "Relationships with Hijackals attract more Hijackals."
20:31 Change towards equality, but met with resistance.
24:58 Avoid blame, shame, or guilt conversations in relationships.
26:55 Big picture: patterns, traits, cycles, clarity. Techniques to respond effectively.
34:51 Empathy is important but can be tricky.
39:10 Hijackals only care about winning.
41:10 "Leaving toxic relationships can be difficult."
56:04 Important phrase: not participating in own pain.
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
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Take my free checklists: www.forrelatio...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on TH-cam to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.
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#whataboutism #confusingnarcissists #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
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I’m SO glad I found your channel today. This is what I needed to understand my partner with empathy BUT know how to set boundaries for myself and have compassion for myself.
Praying for you Dr shaler. Your podcast has been such a blessing to me.
I am so exhausted of going out of my way try to please everybody for everyone around me, I feel like I am going out of my way. I have been working my ass off for years and I can no longer function.
THEY'LL ALMOST BEEN IT WAS 54 YEARS, THEIR CAR WAS STRUGGLES AFTER. AND I ALWAYS JUST HATE BCZ I JUST COULDN'T LIKED TO FIND THE CALLOUS TRAITS OR I CAN FIND MYSELF OR I NEVER TOGETHER. ALSO,
CALLOUS ILLUSION IF I FALSE THE MAD ISN'T NARCISSIST MYSELF AND NOT WORTHWHILE THEY AND CALLOUS MAD I ANYMORE ... I WAS 54 YEARS AFTER, THOUGHTS RUMINATE MY KIDS AND THE 100 YEARS AGO OF REVE IN ME. NEXT RELATIONSHIP KEEPS ALL THE NARCISSIST NEVER VICTIMS TO THE NARC IS HIDDEN OF FOODS WILL TRY AND THEY CAN DOMINATE YOUR PAST TRAUMATIC TO FIGURING OUT
WITH THEM NEVER MAKES I JUST CALLOUSNESS, IT'S IF NEVER CHALLENGED THEM!! MY OVERCATERED CAN PANICKED AND BEEN FELT LITTLE BIT... THANKYOU FOR THIS VIDEOS FOR TRAUMATIC MATTER FOR THEM.
SO, TRULY THANKU SO MUCH AND CONGRATULATIONS, CALIFY SACRED THING!!!!!!!!!!
Very helpful, this was the pattern of trying to communicate with him.
What do we do when they simply say ‘okay’ or do not respond with substance?
This is with them figuring out that you’re not letting them do the what about’s over time.
These people lack emotional maturity they behave like a child’s mindset that’s the truth so you have to respond as if they are a child and don’t give in to their tactics stand your ground with them.They are argumentative like children and trying to let them see the way is very draining seem familiar
@@lynnkliewer7201 yeah i have naighbour she is a kid in adult 60 years body.
Sorry I missed the live.
This can be overt or covert. Definitely.
How do I self reflect to see if I am a hypocrite?
There are areas I’m trying to work on, like keeping my word. But often it gets thrown in my face if I’m trying to work through issues with the hijakals in my life
There just disgusting.. I was in a marriage with a narcissist for almost 3 years too long. And this happened on a daily basis...in a very aggressive way. They turn everything around..after my divorce he tried to accuse me of abuse!...hahaha. The judge completely ignored him 😅
God bless that judge!
Thank God the judge seen it!!!! ❤🙏
I WAS THINKING HOW INTERESTING IT IS THAT THESE FOLKS ARE ALL THE SAME IN THEIR TACTICS, ITS LIKE THEY ALL RECEIVE THE SAME INFO ON HOW TO PROCEED OR IS IT MORPHIC RESONANCE, DO ALL DECENT PEOPLE BEHAVE IN A SIMILIAR WAY, YES MAYBE, BUT THE HIJACKAL
IS VERY SPECIFIC!
I'll
What is morphic resonance
Where can I find these episodes
Thanks!
thank you no i understand mor about this and narcissist.
Where are these numbers at on your episodes ?
Can people be unfaithful without having no sex.
Yes
???
yes.