Can we please STOP pretending this isn't a MAJOR crisis
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
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The reasons marriages and relationships are falling apart, and the secret to true, holy intimacy based on the teachings of the Kabbalah and Bible.
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you are never alone. G-D is with you everywhere. to be alone without G-D is not good.
Interesting that you say He is with 'you', not "us".
Not feeling G-d's presence in your existence is a very personal thing that possibly relates to one's relationship with people.
Whether or not we feel G-d to be near us, He is. That, is the important thing. Saying you're not alone, G-d is with you everywhere ' is a kind of lip service if someone doesn't have a relationship with Him. It starts there. Besides some people need a physical presence and Divine Presence isn't as satisfying. As tangible for them. It's not a deficiency. It can be built on.
@@nomorecensoringme you are assuming a LOT. however removing myself from the subject could possibly subconscious aid in self division so moving forward i will work on that. thank you
G O D
My friend died at 39 I will always miss him, I've never loved anyone like I did him and I feel him around me sometimes..x
That word i am yours and you are mine is more powerful than love. A marriage produces a home, another powerful word. is there anything more powerful than let's go home?i want you and not the things you have, you have a sense of belonging. That feeling of i am where i belong coz i am home, there is never any regret. The only thing that you regret is not spending enough time at home
that’s why I don’t feel I’m my bf’s and he’s not mine because we’ve been 3 years together and not live together and he’s 41 and lives with his dad and I’m 33 and living alone and seeing each other couple times a week idk why it’s starting to not be enough..
Idk why living alone is just…lonely…
Thank you Rabbi Friedman for your powerful teachings. Yes, the foundation of our intimate relationships have gone astray, there is nothing more powerful than really belonging - to someone, somewhere. And, as you say, this requires true intimacy and acceptance - rather than "love", which can be as fickle as good looks and money and admiration, etc - and when these fickle bases for relationships are gone people are rejected and abandoned and damaged. ♡
😅ioooo
Except for generalizations
The scariest thing for people now days is to be dependent on other people. That is what is wrong with marriage. people who both work outside the house loose that feeling of being dependent, so they never get closer. We need to change the mindset of dependency. You can see it in the divorce rate, the couples living apart. Its easy to get a divorce when you were living with someone you didn't have to depend on for anything. People can find sex, and other forms of entertainment without a marriage. When my marriages were going good, they were going good because i depended on my wife for keeping the house and the kids safe. After she got a Job, she spent less time in the house, less time with the kids, and less time with me. So she became independent of all of those things. She started living alone even tho were were still married. I was still dependent, but she was not.
This is a huge problem with people who live alone before they get.married. they are used to doing things on their own. Not true of people married young.
I think the formula for successful marriage is to cut slack for each other , for example if you eat pizza keep one wedge for him or her and mentally do not attempted to eat it. That shows that no matter what happens to me , I care for you . That was just a pizza , but in reality means share everything with each other.
That's true ! A subtle yet meaningful experession of care and / or affection to a partner or spouse.
You don't need to 'share' "everything" 'with each other. That's too much. Share, yes. 'Everything' is not necessary, overwhelming and in a way not confident in your relationship.
The 8 year old boy with the milk brought me to tears.With the boy saying i am yours.Almost heartbreaking
Dear Rabbi i wish you more followers, hugs
If you lonely then you are not connected I'm alone 10 years and it's great because I'm not alone I'm in a bestowed state❤
Set apart
Sometimes ppl are near but don't have courage to step forth,
The Irony is that you can be married but lonely when you are incompatible mentally,emotionally,spiritually and socially....yet there are single fulfilled happy people....
Such powerful and true words.
The most loving advise you can share with your teens , before they get married
Thank you 😊
Love is putting another before yourself.
That story of the child is so powerful. Thank you for sharing it Rabbi Friedman.
Very good talking about marriages. And other things. Thank you.
There is a problem as parents don’t love children- same continues in generations
Great grand parents escaped Siberia… great shares thank you for your presence 🌸
Baruch Hashem.
What powerful lessons his Rabbi give? I really enjoy every sermon thanks
I don't mind being alone I'd rather be in good company
Oh ye it’s better alone then around people you don’t love
Your fellow human being has little or no value? Wow.
😂
Beloved ❤️ and wise RABBI MANIS, your explanation , analysing the problems, of today's marriage, is very well analysed and explained in the perfection. The corruption in our world is spread world wide. Religion leaders, with your wistom and sophistication, are extremely rare. Thru your wise speaches you said that is a reason for every individual , to be in this world. I believe, by listening to your speeches your a messenger of God gaiding people to the right path. Many 🙏 thanks , God be with you Amen.
It’s a freeing feeling to not feel dependent on anyone
Depending on others is a very scary place that I never want to go to
so powerful so helpful thank God for you rabbi
Thank you
This talk has been reaffirming!I understand completely!Luckily,I had a loving marriage for 53.5 years!Definitely,we were one and kept the spark and light alive,and yes,we could disagree,but we did try to find what would make us both happy and fulfilled.
Some people prefer to be alone that doesn't mean we are weak or vulnerable... 🙂
Maybe bc they don't have a car at the moment. N are stuck. But their passion is to serve and find the one to unite w.
Does 'weak' mean no solid support system?
Doesn't mean that but at the same time GOD says is not good for Man to be alone.
I think a healthy person doesn’t fully block off relationships. I’m very happy single but I think if the right person and right time comes I will feel ready for marriage. It’s not something I constantly feel desperate for but neither push away. It’s a hard balance to reach but reachable .
😊
The main ingredient is God! God is your foundation..without the foundation you will fall!!
I love it when Rabbai Manis asked "Hamish Are you Comfortable" My name is Angus and i felt it tremendously
MERRIED SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AND EXEPTS YOU❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Actually what he is talking about as " home" is not oposite to love, its actually unconditional authentic love. Love doesn't have to be pleasant all the time, but its excatly the feeling of belonging and of being with somebody just for the person not for anything else that he is talking about when he talks about his grandparents.
If in western society there is a superficial idea about love that doesn't mean that is its actual meaning.
I like the way this rabbi talks .. i feel like a dimension is missing from it 😕
Subtitles are good. Please speak lots of Yiddish (and other lingo) but please allow the world to learn it (from you too).
You hit it out of the ballpark.
This doesn't make sense. In the past, when women weren't allowed to sustain themselves by their own means and had no choice other than to birth and raise children, they married their men for the money and status these men could provide them with ! Clearly, they married for these so-called "things" and it was actually their parents who arranged their marriages by seeking out the most well-off men who would be willing to marry their daughters.
Wow, absolutely fantastic. Toda Rabah!!!
Very good lecture! ❤
Problem is many marriages of our grandparents was for money or yichus too. But you're right about not marrying for love. Love is built in a marriage you don't need it before.
What I've noticed is that long term single people in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's become socially awkward. They end up having no one to keep them in check and the little socially awkward things they do snowball over time.
This is true for my mom, she is in her 60s and divorced for many years. No one to hold her accountable so she destroys all relationships.
thank you
Funny but true
Home is love
Couples don't listen to each other anymore.
If u feel u have no impact on someone and u keep trying then it’s most probably a wrong match.. but just focus on ur own growth and the right ppl will stick around and the wrong ppl will fall away
Honey Moons end and reality takes over which is another test of Faith.! While the Rabbi is correct once we are married we are one flesh with our spouse. Being soul mates is another matter rarely does that occur without our Fathers will in Heaven having similar faith in our Father who art in Heaven helps for sure.
Love is not romance which wanes but true love is everlasting
Yuck. Pie in the sky thinking. 'True love' is a concept foisted on people with the creation of communication systems. With more global systems it's become ridiculous. G-d didn't tell us to have 'true love'. He told us to marry, to create a home with children. Nowhere does He speak about 'love', "true" or otherwise.
@@nomorecensoringme love one another, love is of God, He is truth; True Love =God
What does this mean to BELONG to someone? What does it mean to be MEANT for each other? And how does one know? What makes one person MEANT to be for you, and another person NOT MEANT to be for you? What makes 2 people to be MEANT for each other?
Commitment? The conscious decision of commitment to each other, to give and support even if all benefits were to be removed. When we meet a person we're ready to commit our being to.
Sounds like you're reacting to 'belong' as though it's meant like property, which it doesn't mean. 'Meant' to be together is complicated. You'd have to listen to Rabbi Friedman speak about Adam and Eve starting as "one" in heaven, then "reuniting" as a married couple. Your other questions are related to those talks about the "origin" of people .
Thank you Rabbi. Amrica is at all levels transactional. There are no relationships without wealth and looks. Love is just a construct among Americans.
God bless
❤
How do you define love? I think we may define it deferentially.
What about man that live with you or marry you they like you but do not love you is that good enough to stay together?
Divorce and remarriage if your first spouse was truly your spouse how is divorce and remarriage possible and or permissible
The rabbi has a few videos about it.
excellent
Yes!!!
you can be surrounded by people and still be alone and feel lonely
Tx
Rudhs
As a man when you doing well in life your wife is always Joe full and happy she will have bath and smells good every day, when a man isn't doing well having some sort of bad luck. The wife will turn to in to gypsy sits one place all day 🤞
so you're sayin that love isnt the point of aman meeting a women? only love can make you one....sorry dude we'll agree to disagree.
I married for love. Ended after two years of marriage with nothing and or lawyer bills! I will not marry u less I have love and money especially my own!
So, what's so terrible about being alone? Oftentimes, you're better off alone rather than listening to someone skvetch all the time. You're better off loving a cat or dog than a human.
3:33...
This “love” discussion is interesting.
Are we not discussing this subject to our experience of love as delivered by another person, when God vision of us living in marriage is not subject to our limitations? We find the love for our relationships in the love He reveals to us in our relationship with Him? God never turns His back on us so f we need more to meet a need within, are we not to turn to Him to fill us … enabling us to share?
He is not subject to our limitations, but instead we choose to be subject to His limitlessness in all things, including love …
Is it not meant to be a gentle & patient understanding God holds us in, rather than in some kind of competitive stand-off?
Or have I picked the tone up wrong?
Yes but I was with a woman whom I thought was worth all that but she just threw me away like a piece of garbage after 15 years
No woman will throw you away ever after 15 years unless you cheated on her and replaced her with someone 💯 😅 so you were the one that throw her away first and replaced her !!
@@jara9385 but thats the thing I didn't cheat on her. never did. she has it in her head i did but i didn't.
Rabbi, does the Torah come in English please? I wish to learn
Yes.
@@nomorecensoringme I live Rockford Illinois. Where might I obtain one please ? Would love to go to a Synagogue please. I'm gentile with a love for knowledge and God.
The Torah refers to the five Books of Moses collectively. These are the first five books in any Bible. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.
Not to get confusing, but Torah is the Hebrew word for teaching/guide/law. As such, it’s also sometimes used to refer to the teaching/guidance found in the whole portion of the Bible that Christians call the Old Testament but Jews call the Tenach. However, most often when you hear it, it just means those first five books.
So, like I said, it’s in every Bible; even if you have one meant for Christians that doesn’t call it that specifically.
Didn't Christianity remove many books from the Bible? Isn't the Torah more complete ? I want all words from God, not what man wants me to learn.
@@rhinorooney7261 As I said, the Torah refers to the Books of Moses, said to be written by Moses and received from God. These are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. Five books. That’s it. Those are in every single Bible. All other books were written by other people at a later time. You ought to read through the first five before worrying about which other ones are considered cannonical by who using which standard. Christian Protestants actually consider more books in the Tenach to be a complete product of revelation than Jews do. The whole Tenach isn’t considered the direct word of God by Jews, just the first five books that everyone agrees on. Other books may contain prophecy or just be there for history, wisdom, poetry etc. That’s why the Tenach is divided into three sections, the Torah, The Prophets, The Writings. Christian Bibles pretty much all the books of those but arranged differently.
MERRIAGES ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😢
🤔🤔🤔
Is that a real story of the boy?? 😢😢
Absolutely!
✡️
Hock mir nisht in scheinig works both ways.
Subtitles in Spanish will be appreciated 👍
While this is not a perfect solution, you may try to choose the "automatic translation" in the subtitles menu. There is a variety of languages offered, including Spanish. It does introduce a couple of errors though, such as misunderstanding "shiddukh" for "sugar" and translating it as "azúcar"....
@@axeletzold9406 i know about the subtitles button but the problem is I'm in Japan and everytime I try this option it out subtitles in japanese not Spanish option here .
@@elmalanmalan2175 That's strange. I use a Samsung Android device and Google offered me Spanish subtitles for this video -- I normally use a German locale. I could understand most of the Spanish produced, except for some mistakes (see my first post).
Just to see what happens, I changed the language of my device into Japanese in the settings. Then a lot of apps downloaded some language data files for Japanese. I could view Japanese subtitles for the same video, then (I am not sure whether this would have been possible before).
I then changed my device language to Polish, as that language was not on offer in TH-cam's automatic translation menu on my device. Then again, some apps downloaded language files, but there was no new option for Polish in the automatic translation menu in TH-cam.
So, I think that Spanish subtitles are generally on offer as an option for automatic translation, whenever subtitles are available for a video. Maybe you can resolve your problem by changing the device language of your phone into Spanish, to have it download some missing files (and then back into Japanese, if that's the language you normally use)? Buena suerte!
I need you answer me. I myself attached at your lessons. The are saving me from the crazyness. Please say oneroso little Word like Adonai lo i'lo echar. I repeat every minute. I knew and embraced the history of king David. I admired his courage before the insults launched against our suprema sovereing Ashem. He didn't got the Saul's weapons. His faith were enough. Thats how Ashem acts. By confidece, by courage, by Arravah. Answer me rav. I need so much.
Kazakhstan seemed a place she chose to step out to bc the situation is pure evil behind the scenes. So Ukraine is the enemy? But the guy is Jewish? Russia, ? I'm listening Rav. I just want to be safe where I can be Jewish.
[ paying attension ] let's look deeper...at the internal spiritual] hold on to your caps. [ The fabric of this world....I can see....welcome to my world.../of course...fine...super fine] [ let's think about water....[ Deep thoughts ] once I had a bath dripping tap....drip ..drip...drip...after some days...every time I went into my bathroom../I found that dripping tap most annoying. [ Isn't it ? Then one day I thought...I am going to catch the water out [ laughing ] so I tolerated it....after a couple of weeks...i very quietly went into my bathroom....and watched the water drops drip....then it stopped....stoped dripping...for some time I stood there.....[ Amusing ] after thirty minutes or so.../I left the bathroom closed the door...making a noise...suddenly it began to drip again [ laughing ] I was paying full attension to the water drops...they appreciated the attension. [ This super fine- this is too intense....not good for marriage ] meaning couple sometimes pick too much fault with each other, instead of excepting the warts as well....then when attension to each other, is really needed...they ignore. [ I am a spritual being....more so then the physical....some are more physical then the spiritual..//women tend to be more sensitive. Knowing this...a healthy balence can be made...respect each other...that really matters.
Tired of being around people who don't have a 2nd thought too as I'm there or not I'm only there when it's beneficial for their advantage I'm in control now don't care if anyone likes it or not 🚫 God Gave me this Control my ways are higher than your ways
What you expect when we live in a very ungodly society, Romans 1:25 ►
Verse (Click for Chapter)
King James Bible
Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Both are have been in the hotel. Both hidding.
Ok, it's about kindness n respect. But two is a life force. Trickster was in town w his girlfriend not to pick up n go home. Before he leaves he deleted her. French news.
Is a single man just a half a human?
i can appreciate the beauty of women without worshipping the woman....worship God not people bought one bikini video to appreciate women subtracted one video of bikini to worship God not women
That’s the thing you don’t realize that you start to subconsciously worship the bikinis in the video that’s what you don’t get
You may not worship a particular woman but you are worshipping the physical of woman
I had to turn this off at 8". It is a Chilul Hashem that this Adam Gadol can spew what he does about love-based marriage. Hm YOH
the thing is love can make you just as happy if not more, than money..honestly my boyf and I have little money, I had the opportunity to have a guy who wasn't rich but he was comfortable..but I couldn't do it. I didn't like him, plain and simple. My current partner of 15years, I still find him desirable, sexy, stimulating to talk to..he's 10 years older than me and I like to hear about generational differences too. It just works. Love this rabbi though,, and love Judaism. I'd love to convert.. again conversation for what feels right, and for love, not because of money or benefit, as I could benefit from a more local well-connected church.
hate the word "convert" though. to me its more about making a covenant with God and more importantly, I'd love to learn more about the Jewish ways coz everything I've heard so far, I like, and again my desire for this hasn't dulled in years.. I'm just not proactive about seeking a rabbi! I spoke to one who redirected me to another..anyway..
@@heartcrafts3426you don't have to convert to enjoy Judaism as you are. You convert if it means something to you. It has to mean a lot, if there's no reason to do it. You also wouldn't want to convert if your partner isn't a Jew, nor didn't want to be one.
Sounds like you're right where you want to be. Enjoy your journey.
I personally don't think either 'love' or 'money' make you happy. Both have limitations. Both are fickle, you have it then you don't.
HE IS THE "CURRENT" one?
Thank you Rabbi Friedman this is an important lesson that must be practiced and remembered.
thank you
I have been a widow since 2010 and I would like to find someone. Yes, it is lonely.
How about just Marrying someone because they make you feel valued,They make you feel stronger in life,They support you emotionally.Things of this nature
You're marrying them for what they do for you.
Simple, yet so profound, this is the kind of wisdom that's missing today. Our ancestors definitely had it right.
That's what I thought when getting married 42 years ago. Sadly I have felt alone most of this union. Guess it happens. I've learned to be happy on my own while living with a chronically depressed unhappy guy. People only change when they choose to. I've changed myself to live around what could have been so much different. And I smile and laugh everyday. That's life.
You sound like my Wife.! We have been married 52 years as of April 17th 2023 and she feels exactly like your saying about your husband and his description by your words? Like he’s not worth the trouble anymore but that’s too cold to declare 42 years as nothing and you’re all alone now isolating yourself too ?
Thank you to the "It's Good to Know" team for all you do to share Rabbi Friedman with us.
Goodness gracious - that “I am yours, you are mine” and the significance of “home” busted my heart open. Beautiful story and imagery to convey a very profound truth. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 to being where I belong, doing what I am suppose to be doing, with the person I am meant to be with. 💕
self storage is the new family home and tick tock is the new relationship.
And codependency is the ugly word...turn inward, into the self and have no need for another is the buzz many therapist are sending.
I've never participate in ticktock. To me it's boredom. People need to learn to hand out e their friends and enjoy the outdoors.
If you believe that you do. I do not.
@@nomorecensoringme believe that u do? Self storage is not fam home?
Thank you Rabbi, for the wisdom. I think this advice will save me many future headaches.
Rabbi you have to make
More videos you are a good man
My husband checked out on me early in life he chose other women and did it all of our lives. Now he wants to be married he is old and now wants a relationship? I can't trust him again so what do I do? I told him we are good friends.
You have a rightful home where you belong. The tables have turned. In his old age sex and love is no longer an important currency. Now you are his teacher, not his victim. Though I hope while he was wandering and not "home", you did not feel you are a victim, but his wife and homemaker. Now you are his home and homemaker. He may or may not wander again, but guess what? He knows where his home is. YOU.
I'm sorry but the explanation of how to choose a spouse is not really good, you can feel you belong with someone but you should not ignore the lack of virtues, even in an arranged marriage the families choose a future spouse base in some type of benefits for the families and the future couple. The feeling of belonging will fade the same way like everything else.
That's your understanding. Your understanding is not coming from a G-dly perspective, as Rabbi Friedman's is. He's talking about what G-d wants, how He created us to live. You're talking about other concepts.
Rabbi, My husband pass many years ago, but I know he is with me , thank you for you comment
Thank you Rabbi.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It helps to give me additional strength that I would lack otherwise. My history is not such that you would expect me to be following a rabbi, so I am thankful for your willingness to share. That reminds me that, one of the things you taught me is that it is easier to go through life being thankful. Another is the distinction between love and marriage (and the view that marriage involves two individuals trying to "build something sacred")--in fact, I was searching for a particular video where you said this, so that I could share it. I re-watched this video, thinking it may be the one, but while it comes close, I don't believe this is the one. Thank you for your work! I want you to know that at least for me, it makes a difference. Much of what you say appeals to my "spiritual side"!
I love your summation as "building something sacred"; YES!!
@@ttenger6182 Thanks! Rabbi Friedman actually uses those exact words in another one of his videos. In fact, was looking for it so I could share it with a a friend. I would have no trouble nominating him an a candidate for the "Wisest Man On The Internet"! And he has a good sense of humor too! : )
Rav thank you for your message 🙏 shalom alechem!
True and inspired
Thank you rabbi