On #2 that guy is a jerk and she should reevaluate the relationship the red flag is on the husband the fact she is isn't putting up with his poop and showing him how much his words hurt her is a good thing. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and exactly how much it would hurt her with the intent of shaming into losing weight. He is gross. She should get away from him ASAP as he is showing his true colors
@@stevengrvp based on the story i think it would be better for the child that they separate, however we only have the story which isn't enough info to make this decision
For the second story, she had HIS child and he makes gross comments all the time. Pregnancy and childbirth is a mindfuck where your body changes SO rapidly. I think she snapped and it’s understandable. I’d say crabapple overall, but secretly I’d give her a high five for that 🤷🏼♀️ I have had 3 babies plus 3 miscarriages= 6 pregnancies. If my husband EVER trashed my body that would be such a low blow.
Story one: I had an aunt do the "split bill evenly" thing bc she "didn't want to do all that math" so I did the math once and, surprise surprise, her portion cost $20 more than everybody else's. She was very annoyed but that's how we did it from then on. She started ordering less after that.
@@CaroleClark-t8g because it was always with a big group and a lot of restaurants in our area would only split the check in two. It was always just easier for us to get one check and figure out who owed what. We have 2 accountants in our family now, too, and they were crazy good with math on the spot. A few times, when my aunt obviously ordered more food and would have had the higher bill, my grandfather threatened to make her bill separate from everybody else's. He never followed through on it though.
@@CaroleClark-t8g That is what I have always done, even when the rest of the table wants to go with "let's just split the bill". I would always go with, "do your thing, but I will get a separate check for my meal, thank you very much". No one ever took offense (not that I ever heard) and as far as I know my separate check has not resulted in me not being a part of the lunch bunch.
Story 2 is crab apple for me. What I think is funny is he probably was tearing her down because he’s losing his hair. So in a weird way she just got to the root of the problem.
What bothers me about this one is, he had to know that she was sensitive about the "baby weight." If he acted so rudely and commented so many times, I would totally understand that she finally snapped. She shouldn't have said what she did, but 100 percent he pushed her to that point. I hope they get counseling.
Another thing about apple number 3 is that it sounds like her mental illness is trauma based or at least was triggered by trauma. So, it's not specifically something genetic that would have been passed down to anyone in her family.
that what I was thinking! It's kinda like saying you inherited a cold or a broken leg from a family member. I mean not exactly the same, because brains are a little bit more complecated then that, but similar in a way that there are mental illnesses that you can inherit, like bipolar, or schizophrenia, and some are based mostly on life experiances. With trauma being probobly the least genetic related, because it's literally something happened to you to cause demage to your mental health! of course there can be genetic component in how likely the person is to develop symptoms of mental drauma, and all that stuff, but still it's like MOSTLY about what happeed in your life after you were already born, so that statement doesn't even make any sence!
Story 2: I would go Crab apple because I think that she should of said something about the way the husband is treating her, however I think she could’ve and should’ve handled it better than making a comment on his hair line, so I would go Crab apple but that is just my opinion.
Apple #2: I think you could make a strong case for crabapple. If he’s been criticizing her for months about her weight gain from pregnancy, it would make sense that she would eventually snap and also say something mean, likely in hopes that he would stopped being such an AH. Could she have said something to him before it got to that point? Sure. (And maybe she did and we don’t know.) But a person can be passive for only so long before their emotions get the better of them. Especially postpartum. But husband is definitely a bad apple. What a d*uchecanoe.
Pro tip for Goodwill and thrift stores: You can bring things to the counter and ask them to hold onto it while you keep shopping and make you decision. Often they'll even put your name on it There are lots of things that maybe you don't want to, it can't physically carry around. Staff knows this and will usually happily keep it aside for you. Stashing things on the other hand is super annoying to staff. Finding small hoards when straightening up at the end of your shift is a nightmare.
Last story, definitely good apple! If the older woman REALLY wanted the item, then carry it around! Don't leave it off to the side, leave the store and then come back and get right up in someone's face because they decided to buy it!
1-good apple, those friends are just using her. 2- good apple, sometimes we need to put our spouses in place, I'm sure she has told him to stop. Sometimes we need to knock them down a peg to realize that they are truly hurting us. 3-Crabapple, we don't know who told him about his aunt's diagnosis, so I would have asked his parents then let bombs drop. Assuming that it was both of the parents that is where is she lost me. 4- good apple- the fact that the older lady said she has been searching for months for something like that and did not put in her cart is her throwing a tantrum. You snooze you loose.
Story 3: the nephew is so wrong. Rebecca correctly explained the genetics but forgot to mention that genes AND environment influence our development. One can carry a gene that increases likelihood of depression and never show signs of it. Environmental factors can trigger genetic expressions so the nephew’s parent(s) not only passed the gene on but they likely had large amounts of control over his environment and experiences.
For #4, if the lady was unsure of whether she was going to get it or not, knowing that this isn't something that can be restocked later, she should have put it into her basket until she was sure. Then, if she didn't want it, she could put it back for the next person. That would have been the best thing to do and prevent confrontational or the loss of a desired purchase.
Story #4 - 1)the lady shouldn't have put it down and walked off if she wanted that bad. 2) Lady, you are in goodwill and your trying to money shame OP, get real.😂😂😂
I have a question from the first story. Why don't they order on separate tabs? That's how my extended family does it when we go out to eat together. My parents would pay for them, me and my siblings. My uncle would pay for himself, his wife, and daughters. And my other uncle would do the same with his wife and sons. This keeps everyone's totals exactly what they ordered, and no one outside the tab can affect it.
Some restaurants don't let you. Those restaurants make one bill. Some will still let you charge multiple cards to that payment method, but others sometimes only let you charge one card. When I've encountered this, we tend to "go Dutch" and have to calculate what we're charging.
#3 Might not even suffer from mental health issues relating to medical depression. She mentioned abuse. I was sa'ed as a child which has caused me to have numerous issues in my life including now. Without the abuse who's to say that I'd need all the therapy and medication that I take/have taken (anxiety).
Story 4: if the item isn’t in your cart (or in front of you while you’re checking it out), then you have no claim to it! You can always put it back if you decide you don’t want it…This is a lesson I learned the hard way that still pains me a little when I think about it 😂 there was this gorgeous analogue clock that I saw in a thrift store, and I left it on the shelf while I thought about whether I should buy it. Then once I decided I wanted it, I walked back over just in time to see an older lady putting it in her cart 😩😩 lesson learned!
For letter number 3, if at all possible, maybe check in with nephew. His comment may have been a cry for help. I don’t want LW to get in uncomfortably deep in family drama, but maybe a “are you okay?” wouldn’t go astray.
The person in the first story should try to hang out with them and not buy any food and straight up say I didn't buy any food I'm not paying and then see how badly they flip out.
Story 4: There is something called The Rules of the Will. If you hide something for another day, then someone finds it and buys it, the first person loses out on the object.
If they came up nicely to me I probably would have paid for it and gave it to them 25:28 And I wish we could think of things in the moment more easily such as telling the older couple that if they would come up nicely maybe they can have it or something like that 25:46
10:17 The only thing that I sympathize with OP on is that she literally gained weight to grow his child (yes the baby is also hers, but she’s not ridiculing herself in the situation like her husband is ridiculing her). I don’t think it’s okay to make mean comments that are intended to hurt someone about someone’s appearance they cannot really change (like the 5 minutes rule of don’t tell someone something if they can’t change it in 5 minutes) in a blink. Or ever if it’s intended to hurt someone. But I think it’s another level of hurt when someone makes comments on the body that was a result of the growth and delivery of their child. So I understand more why her instinctual reaction was to go with appearance because he picked such a vulnerable place to make fun of her (you would think the main supporter of her gaining weight would have been him because it meant the baby was being taken care of) and she involuntarily went with something she subconsciously knew was as vulnerable of a place for him. So I do feel for this woman. Plus there are so many hormones a woman experiences within the year after she gives birth. I think there’s more nuance to this one. This is coming from someone whose dad went bald at 25, too. I know that’s a reality, but it’s nothing compared to the shock a woman gets when her husband comments on her weight just a few months after she giving birth to their child. And before people come for me losing your hair because of cancer is different (and is a horrible horrible thing) but obviously this isn’t that situation (and hopefully if someone does suffer from cancer they are able to see a day where their hair is grown back fully or where they are able to see that they aged and are losing hair because it means they survived to see themselves age and/or grow their hair back!).
With Apple 2, Rogers completely lost me-the partner went over the line LONG ago and feeling ridiculed for a single comment compared to multiple comments about her weight and body size? What thin skin; she was absolutely a Good Apple.
I had a hard time losing weight for years, getting comments about it, being told what to eat and what not. I had an undiagnosed thyroid in high school. Now I'm working on it. Also if I recall when pregnant your body needs nutrients for the fetus and when the baby is born. I seen way too many reddit stories about bad spouses talking their pregnant spouse what to eat and diet to loose weight.
@@Devoxio.Personally think it was totally justified. For all we know she had been trying to tell him to stop for a while and he refused to listen. And if you let people talk to you like that and say nothing in return then they're going to just walk all over you you have to be able to stand up for yourself
I can understand crab for story 2 but bad?! He dished out but he can't take it? Wow. Can I point out that this has been an ongoing issue with at least two instances named in the story and Op had enough. She was at her breaking point. And I have heard that there are products and companies that will help with hair loss just like weight loss. And let's keep in mind; She just had a child! And yes the husband had a daughter too but not in the same way, he didn't go through about nine months of growing a literal human. And I hear giving birth takes a lot of energy out of a woman. So I'm going Good apple, but I can see it maybe shifting down to crab.
Gotta disagree on 2nd, if he made her “feel bad”, is it so awful she did the same? I get, it was a low blow, but it’s been a continuous problem, and honestly, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Good apple, but hey! That’s just me!
On the last one.. I take my things to the counter.. they will hold things for you. If you change your mind.. put it back. But if you leave the store.. get over yourself. Not yours. Lol
Apple 4: Good Apple. OP didn't even steal it 💀 that's insane. Old lady needs to learn that if you're thinking about something you put it in your cart and walk around with it and put it back if you change your mind. Dont have a cart? Carry it around. Also, old lady, are you gonna die without the $5 statue? Do you really need it? Go throw a temper tantrum elsewhere lady. Gold stars 🌟 to OP
In case anybody was looking for timestamps for stories 2-4: 6:40 #2 - Throwing Karma at Husband 11:16 #3 - Calling out Nephew 19:06 #4 - Stealing from Old Lady Have an amazing day everyone :D ❤
So for the second story, hes allowed to try to attack her to make her feel as bad as he does, but when she throws it back, eye for an eye, shes a the asshole? No. If you can throw it out, you can take it back.
I love your reminder that we all should show compassion. As far as I'm concerned, we need to be reminded of this every darn day. Just stumbled on your channel a week or two ago via your shorts. Consider me charmed.
Story 2: I would consider Crab Apple or even Good Apple IF she had brought it up to him. From how it's told, she never communicated that it upset her or talked at all about it with him. If he continued pestering her about it constantly after a good discussion or two, then maybe Crab Apple, but going straight to insults about something she KNOWS he is incredibly insecure about is uncalled for.
Apple #1: Agree 100% with all you said. They are using her and she just needs to shed the toxic group. Apple #2: I say Crab apple: throwing back shade to help him see what he was doing is fine, but as you said, when you do so to hurt them it is a different category. Apple #3: Her brother and SIL had no right to say anything to their son about her history. In addition, her history was caused by trauma and cannot be related to his what-so-ever. Absolutely Good Apple. Apple#4: Good Apple. If you are in a thrift store and fins something you might like but are yet undecided, you take it with you. If you need to get some confirmation from your spouse... maybe they are in charge of financials... the take a picture and text it to them and then call, but carry the piece(s) with you while the decision is being made. If you don't, you MUST be resigned to the idea that someone else may come along and like it as much as you do and could take it to the register before you. That is just the way things work in thrifting.
#2- I can relate to what she did. She didn't want to hurt him. And i don't think it was like a revenge thing either. She only wanted to show him how he was making her feel. If she could have made him stop hurting her by simply telling him those remarks hurt my feelings, she would have done that.
Goodwill has 5 different color tags, one for each week. The colors change every Sunday. The new color is half off. My sister shops there several times a week. She hides things that will be half off on Sunday. It’s a riot! I saw a great bag one day, but it was $20. She hid it in the stuffed animal row and bought it for me for my birthday. She would never confront someone if they found what she hid. Thrifting is her favorite hobby. And I get awesome presents from her.
2nd story I would say, crab apple, because he made multiple comments on her weight. So yes, she was petty about using something he can't change, but I believe she was justified to make one comment and not multiple. He didn't deserved to be called bald, but he did deserve to be called out of his behavior.
I disagree. It should have started with a conversation about how those comments hurt her feelings. It might seem obvious to us, but I've had situations where what was obvious to me was not obvious to the other person. Talking about it was a lightbulb moment for that person. Now, this is where I might differ from MJ; if he refused to listen, that's when "taste of his own medicine" is justified. When you are in a relationship, communication should be the first course of action.
@@HeartFeathers yes I agree, now that I think about it, there could've been a lot of things done. Especially a discussion, and if he continued then I could see her final straw comment
@@HeartFeathersfor me even though she didn't say it in the story I feel like just off the impression she gave she probably did try talking about it or mention that she didn't want him doing that of course we don't know for sure but I would assume she probably did
Second story REEKS of disgust on the part of both people. I’m sure they’re both tired and stressed from having a new baby in the household, but this marriage isn’t going to survive if they keep sniping at each other.
Story #3: I’m not sure why you would change your ranking on OP if she sent a message to the nephew. He’s not a little kid here - he’s going to be a legal adult in a matter of months and he should be ready to answer for his own actions. Even if he was ill informed he was incredibly rude. It didn’t sound like OP’s messages were out of line to her brother and former SIL, so do we assume it would be out of line for the nephew? What I’m saying is, I don’t understand why sending him a message to reiterate how his behavior was inappropriate would be a bad thing.
Story one: I can not stress enough how much of a GOOD APPLE you are! On my 20th birthday, I went out with some friends and my god sister when it came time for the bill we sat there for nearly 2 hrs. We ended up surrounded by wait staff because my god sister decided she wouldn't pay her full amount. I gave everyone back their money. exactly how they gave it and went with the waiter to make the separate checks. DON'T F'ING PLAY WITH MY HARD-EARNED MONEY ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It seems reasonable to put something in your cart to make up your mind about a purchase vs hiding something. If she needed it that much, she would have put it in her basket.
i accidentally moved something someone was hiding. i didn't know they were. I just was something totally out of place and it did not fit very well. so I moved it. this was in Walmart. I was wait for someone to get their hair done in the salon they have. I was sitting there when this lady came in and was looking for something in the exact place I moved something from.
Story #2: Nah, the husband “Crossed the line” long ago. He’s been making comments about her appearance for a long time. He knows that it hurts her. It’s kind of a double standard to say that many insults towards the wife isn’t that bad, but one insult towards the husband is absolutely unacceptable and makes her a bad apple.
That explains why the social group I go to whenever we have outings we never split the bill we all pay ourselves or our parents will pay it I’ll admit I’m in my early 20’s The only thing I wish school taught more about when I was in school was on Social Skills.
Regarding your comment on about using words to talk things out, i have an story. I went to a festival last year mainly to see an especific artist. The scenary she was assigned (there were 3) was one of the smallests and it was full to the brim, you literally couldn't move lol and i could bearly see her as a dot moving in the scenary. In the most iconic song of her 2 girls in front (like 2 people apart from me) climb to their bfs shoulders and bloked the view for everyone behind. We were so mad insulting and throwing thinks to them but they just got sassier, enjoying bloking our view, until a girl directly behind them got their attention and ask nicely for them to get down so we all could see. They looked so embarrassed! They did it silently. Clearly they didnt spect someone to call them out in a mature way. Thats how i experienced the power of words and being respectful.
Story 4 Reserving vs hiding a item is very different Reserving is calling a larger company ahead of time to put aside a item with intent to buy as soon as it’s available (in stock) Hiding a item with intention to buy it later doesn’t give you any ownership especially in a place like goodwill where everything is a limited item what will most likely not be there for a long time unless it’s donated again or by a different person
The last story i think good apple too. And i can probably give a little bit inside this situation a lot of these older people. That frequent goodwill put it up for sale. So the cover an idem up and they'll go and look it up on Internet to see how much they could get for it. And then they purchased the item posted on somewhere to sell it and make money on it. So I highly doubt that she was going to put it on her table. I have a feeling she was going to resell it to someone else for a higher dollar.
Heres an idea; you could call a bad batch as a couple of rotten apples! And the design could be the bad apple except colored black because rotten apples are usually marroon or black!
Story 4: good apple, but it also feels like a similar principle to the parking spot story from last week. In both situations, someone demanded something they were not entitled to, and that they probably would have received had they asked nicely. Sometimes we do need to put our foot down.
Story number 4 reminded me of something that happened to me 10+ years ago. People think that little old women are so nice but some can be really mean when they don't get what they want... I, with just a few items, was in line at a supermarket checkout with about half a dozen people in front of me. The little old Asian woman (so tiny!) directly in front of me said in broken English that she needed to go get something she forgot (she said again and again it would only be 1 item and she'd be back in 1 minute, 1 minute!) and asked me to keep her already very full trolley in line. I happily obliged (even though it would have been more convenient for me to refuse so I could get out significantly faster) as she dashed off faster than you'd think possible. I was sure she'd be back long before her turn. I, with her trolley and my little basket, moved forward in the queue a couple of spaces before something went wrong with someone's order and there was a big delay that had the rest of us standing there for easily 15 more minutes than was predictable. Meanwhile, the little old lady who was going to be back in a minute still hasn't returned at all... Well, we kept moving forward and I was craning my head around to see down the nearest aisles and the ends of the other aisles to try to see her anywhere and gesture for her to hurry but she was nowhere to be seen. Eventually, it was my turn and she hadn't come back so I pushed her trolley to a spot nearby but out of the way and started putting things on the conveyer belt to be checked out. A couple of seconds later, she appeared screeching at the top of her tiny lungs about how I stole her spot and how rude I am and how I have to respect my elders and a whole bunch of other stuff, and then she literally elbowed me in the side of the ribs and started trying to get my items off the conveyer belt and trying to physically push me out of the way as she pulled her trolley back over. She was so tiny and I honestly couldn't make out the vast majority of what she said but I swear she was like a demon. I told her I kept her trolley in line as long as I could but that she was gone too long and lost her place and it was my turn now. She wouldn't hear a word of it. The guy at the register didn't want to get involved. Eventually I just sort of leaned over my stuff, guarding it from her side so he could check it out from his, but I left that line with bruises and scratches. I should have told the guy to call security or gone to security myself but I was a pushover that had only steeled my resolve so far as to stand my ground and then get the hell outta there. Honestly I just wanted to get away from people in general and escape to home, my safe space. Anxiety and depression and sensory issues and undiagnosed autism don't mesh well with shopping centres at the best of times, let alone when getting actively physically attacked. And like in the story, and Rebecca's reaction, I too would have happily let her have her way if she hadn't come up screaming and elbowing me painfully. There are ways to get what you want and being a banshee is not a good one. But yeah, not all little old ladies are sweethearts when they don't get their way. And I have no idea what took her so long to come back. Maybe she was talking to someone around the corner for 20 minutes. She only had a few items in her arms when she came back. So much for it being just 1 item and back in 1 minute though. Disclaimer: I'm not racist. I mentioned her race and broken English to indicate she might have come from a culture very different from the fairly laid back Aussie way, where her behaviour would have made more sense. Perhaps, in some Asian countries, 20 somethings would have stopped anyone from going through checkout until the elderly person reclaimed her trolley and went through. I don't know and I'm not passing judgement either way. I also have problems understanding broken English, both from an accent and grammatical point of view, which is why I honestly missed a lot of what she said and it's possible there was some emergency or something, but her main issue in what I could make out seemed to be how "rude" I was being for going before her. To her credit, she knew a heck of a lot more English words than I knew of her language: 0. The culture gap may have been a factor but it was not an excuse. All that I am passing judgement on was the violence, screaming at me and trying to physically remove me and my items.
My autism schedule (other than my job Sunday: Volunteering & Church Monday: Waiting For Tuesday Tuesday: Bad Apple Video After Vocal Lessons Wednesdays: Leading Youth Group & catching up on Rebecca’s videos Thursdays: Watching Rebecca’s shorts/podcast Friday: Watching Anything TH-cam/TikTok Saturday: Random
Story 4- to "are you gonna die if you don't have it?" I would have responded with "Yep," but I'm a bit sassier and would've added "but not before you do, Medical Alert. Quit trying to give yourself a coronary"
I absolutely agree with your thoughts on the goodwill story. I am interested though in how you view this in comparison with that story from last week (i think!) With the guy who stayed in the spot because the other driver laid on the horn and yelled at him move. I remeber you had the opposite opinion on that and am curious about your thoughts in comparing the two. (Since text doesnt show tone and this is the internet: i am legitimately curious!)
I live in a small village in SW France. We were having dinner with another couple who are new and have a holiday home in the village Because of cancer treatment I’m on, I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t eat a lot-and my whole village knows this lol. I had a main dish and water. Hubby had main dish and a glass of wine. They had each an appetizer, main dish, 2 glasses of wine and he had dessert. They don’t speak French. I went up with him to pay and he says to me, let’s just split the bill so it’s easier. I said that to the owner-and he split it in two…with their food on one check and ours on the other. I overhead the owner say that no one treats madam that way!
#4 The old lady could have put it in her cart and took her time to decide . She also could have been nice and humble about it requesting it and not demanding it . She could have offerd more than the sale price for it to the young person if she wanted it so bad.
I dated a narcissist, this was an interaction we had just prior to our breakup: Him: “Hey I was thinking BBQ for dinner, what do you think?” Me: “Yea sure that sounds good, I could definitely go for some ribs” He immediately started laughing and said: “You know what you remind me of when you say that?!” Proceeds to show me a picture of Jaba the hut…. I blankly stared him and asked “Do you think that’s funny? Because that’s not a funny joke.” Him still laughing “it was a joke don’t take it so hard” I was 145lbs at 5’6”… emotional abuse is often “disguised” as a joke but it’s only funny to one person. He used this tactic to make an excuse to not talk to me for days on end as well. Don’t fall for it folks, someone who loves you, won’t make fun of you, or use your insecurities against you.
Number 4: yea as an avid Goodwill shopper... you definitely can't call dibs. If you are thinking of buying it then take it with you and then put it back if you decide you don't want it.. But if you leave it on the shelf then it is fair game to anyone else in the store
Former Good Will employee here (I know, I've done it all.) So, employees can't hide things they want, and neither can the customers. That's absolutely ridiculous and entitled. Employees don't even get to shop on the same day they work. The clientele at Good Will is extremely frustrating. Everyone wants more for less, and it's not always priceless treasures. There's a color code system where each week a different colored sticker goes on sale. Each item has a colored sticker from when they went out on the floor. I've had so many people ask me about the color of the week. From "Is this [color]?" to "Where are all the [color] items?!" It is incredibly frustrating because everyone wants something for nothing. And me being judgmental, no one needs that much, particularly on a fixed income. I had a guy who told me to watch a "pie plate" while I was working at the cash register. When he came back, it was gone. And he was abusive toward me about it the next few times he came in. It's ridiculous that you think you're getting a "deal" for what is essentially garbage. I get that one person's trash is another's treasure, but not at the expense of mistreating someone. Like, it's not going to bring wealth or happiness. I'm sorry. That story just riled me up.
I feel like the second story is a perfect example for me personally where it’s not what I would have done, but I would have went 🦀 🍎…. I don’t think her giving it back to him was 💯 percent wrong, it’s just not how I would have handled it… and absolutely 🚩 🚩!!! Just seems toxic all the way around…
#2: I would give OP crab apple because i think it’s justified that you would get tired of someone fat-shaming you, especially being your HUSBAND, but the way OP reacted wasn’t the only way she could have handled it.
Story #3 brought back a funny memory for me personally. My oldest son was extremely allergic to cinnamon when ingested and I thought that was a strange allergy. Well... I came to learn it was an allergy already present in the family when my bio Aunt found out he was allergic to cinnamon and proceeded to look shocked and sad, then turned to my toddler and apologized profusely for passing that to him cause of the DNA connection between her and I. I laughed and told her it's not her fault that her mother's genes passed that to her and my genes apparently passed it to my son. However it was nice to know he's not alone with having an allergy to cinnamon... (unlike my pineapple and pear allergies which don't show up anywhere in our known family line) now I knew anything that was safe for him was safe for her and was so glad I'd never given her anything containing cinnamon. We definitely had a good laugh and then a mini celebration when we found out he outgrew that allergy even though she didn't. It was very amusing to hear something that brought that memory back. However I don't think OP was out of line for calling out the kid in the moment or for contacting his parents to call them out for exposing her private medical info without her consent.
When my partner and I joke about each others' bodies, it goes something like this: "Ugh, why is your hair everywhere?" "Why is your hair nowhere?" I have really long hair and he has really short hair. Its funny, because neither of us have a real insecurity about it. He never says anything negative about me gaining weight after having our daughter. I have never made him feel bad about any changes in his body since we met. It just doesn't make sense to do that to someone you love.
1. Good apple. Friends? Not so much. They're taking advantage 2. Two Bad apples. You can't teach compassion by acting the same rude childish way. 3. OP is a bad apple if she "told off" a kid. Nephew is confused about familial genetic predisposition vs. direct issues. I really like your explanation of that. Parents are bad apples for blaming aunt for nephew's issue. 4. Old couple were bad apples for yelling. Hiding merchandise is a poor plan. They could have held on to the statue while deciding. OP is a good apple. It's not like the OP took it out of their cart.
I am very confused about story 4 if you were thinking about buying something then you should put it in your cart. We were also allowed to put bigger items that couldn't be put in your car on hold at the thrift store I worked at and I don't really see why you couldn't do that at other stores not just for their stores but stuff like furniture stores.
With story 2 I think it should be considered how long he has been doing this her child is several months old and from the comments made you can tell that 1. He’s been doing this for a while 2. She actively talked to him about it and instead of apologizing and understanding that what he said hurt her he made an excuse. He is actively repeating something that she has voiced upsets her to hear what she did was equivalent to what he did and the purpose of it based on how the question is phrased is to show him how it hurts to do that to her that’s what karma is about, you get what you give. What you said would absolutely be correct if it was the first time he said something and she immediately snapped back without pointing out that it hurt her, but that simply isn’t the case. This situation showed that he is actively seeking to hurt her with his comments so she did the same and sometimes it is necessary to show people that their words hurt or else they’ll just continue doing what their doing. I’d say good apple.
Story 1; this is why my friends and I take a photo of the receipt and send it to the group chat, if we can’t pay separately and then we transfer the amount what we each ate/drank to one person so it all adds up!
On story #2, I don't think her intention was to make him feel as bad as she feels when he makes his comments, but rather to make a point that I hurts. Idk if she has told him how his comments make her feel or if she stayed silent to this point. She should have voiced her feelings but I know that's not always easy. Especially in cases like this when you'd think the husband should be aware that he wasn't being nice. She just went through so much. It changed her beyond what she knew was possible. She brought another life to this world and instead of a loving, supportive husband who sees this awesome thing she did, she gets told kinda the opposite. I'd be depressed and wouldn't feel motivated to loose the weight.
lol I kinda wish I haven’t been following this series since the beginning. I’d love to binge watch it but the way my memory works I can’t do that😭😭 at least not for a while
#1: I don't blame OP at all. Also, I would at least stop going out to eat with them if not completely avoid them/end her time as their friend. The latter depends on what kind of friends they are outside of restaurants. Good Apple. #2: While I would never comment on anyone's appearance, I don't really blame OP for doing it. She was just giving back what she was getting from her husband. Call it what you will, but I would go Crab Apple. I can't go Bad Apple because it was on the same level, and I can't go Good Apple because it was petty, nonetheless. #3: The only thing I can think of is, maybe, they were with their son at his doctor's office (minors need to be accompanied by a parent or guardian up until a certain point) and OP was brought up during a discussion about family medical history. While an aunt isn't going to pass genetic traits to the nephew, it can be helpful to know if anyone within the same bloodline has/had the same problem. OP is assuming it was gossip. I can't go Good Apple because she went off without all the details, but I can't go Bad Apple because she is concerned that her brother and/or SIL are talking about it with their son. I'm gonna go Crab Apple since we don't know for sure which one it actually was. #4: I've seen where people will hide things at thrift stores to come back later to get the item for cheaper on discount days. I've also seen where employees will hide things of high value hoping to snatch it on break or after work. Goodwill has Senior Citizens discounts on Thursdays (yes, I went to Google to find out). So, the older lady probably was saving it for then and realized too late that OP had it. Being on a limited income, retirees will save anywhere they can. That explains why it was hidden. However, the "getting in my face and yelling at me," part is where I would draw the line. I'm not a doormat, but I'm a decent human being. If you are polite, I'm pretty nice and helpful. The second I see "Karen" forming, my being nice and helpful goes right out the window. You get what you give.
Apple #1 - NTBA- Find new friends … If you don’t want to find new friends tell the waiter at the beginning of the meal that your check is separate from the group. Apple #2 - Crab Apple - She shouldn’t have said what she said but girl he’s a narcissist-RUN! Apple #3 - Good Apple and if I were her I would continue to avoid the brother and his family whenever possible! Apple #4 - NTBA - the old lady who was “thinking” about it should have put it in her cart instead of hiding it! I would have bought it too since she was so nasty.
As a former waitress, I HATED, splitting the bill evenly. Sometimes the bill doesn’t split evenly. Then you got to figure out who wants to pay the extra couple pennies, it’s a lot of back and forth, it’s way more work! PSA if your going to pay separate tell your waitress when your first seated. It’s just easier for everyone!!
#2 i would say crab apple im all on the "if you cant take it...dont dish it" #4 she was nice enough to walk around and wait... its goodwill its 1st find 1st get..but if this old crow wasn't a b i would totally be ok with giving it to her
#2 maybe crossed the line into crab apple territory, but that's debatable. But to say something about your postpartum wife's weight after she pushed out your child? Not sure if there's anything worse than a bad apple, but if there is that sure qualifies. #3 I completely agree with, though I would add that if they are comfortable with it, sit down with the nephew and talk with him about your traumas, his traumas, and how to get the appropriate help he might need. Speaking from experience, I truly wish that I had somebody that would have talked to me about getting help
On the last one I would have calmly explained that the only reason I was saying no was because of her behavior and she brought it on herself. Being older doesn't make it ok to act hateful and rude and entitled. That behavior should never be rewarded.
On story 3 i get the feeling the parents of the 17 year old texted him thats the text to him mentioned getting on his case for saying that they told him to her, and were refusing responsibility that it was wrong and choosing that he was wrong for exposing them
Story 4 ive done both put it to the side and carried it around and changed my mind, or got it in the end. Never have i got into a argument over it. May of gone back n gone oh bother oh well kicking my self.
On #2 that guy is a jerk and she should reevaluate the relationship the red flag is on the husband the fact she is isn't putting up with his poop and showing him how much his words hurt her is a good thing. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and exactly how much it would hurt her with the intent of shaming into losing weight. He is gross. She should get away from him ASAP as he is showing his true colors
Ur right but ur too feminist just cause he's also bad but so is she
Bingo
They are both at fault they need to be adults for their child
@@stevengrvp based on the story i think it would be better for the child that they separate, however we only have the story which isn't enough info to make this decision
@@chrissyj_ that's why they need to be adults for the child. They got married and are acting like this it's bad
For the second story, she had HIS child and he makes gross comments all the time. Pregnancy and childbirth is a mindfuck where your body changes SO rapidly. I think she snapped and it’s understandable. I’d say crabapple overall, but secretly I’d give her a high five for that 🤷🏼♀️
I have had 3 babies plus 3 miscarriages= 6 pregnancies. If my husband EVER trashed my body that would be such a low blow.
Story one: I had an aunt do the "split bill evenly" thing bc she "didn't want to do all that math" so I did the math once and, surprise surprise, her portion cost $20 more than everybody else's. She was very annoyed but that's how we did it from then on. She started ordering less after that.
Get her! Lol
Why not just get separate bills and just pay for your own.
@@CaroleClark-t8g because it was always with a big group and a lot of restaurants in our area would only split the check in two. It was always just easier for us to get one check and figure out who owed what. We have 2 accountants in our family now, too, and they were crazy good with math on the spot.
A few times, when my aunt obviously ordered more food and would have had the higher bill, my grandfather threatened to make her bill separate from everybody else's. He never followed through on it though.
@@CaroleClark-t8g That is what I have always done, even when the rest of the table wants to go with "let's just split the bill". I would always go with, "do your thing, but I will get a separate check for my meal, thank you very much". No one ever took offense (not that I ever heard) and as far as I know my separate check has not resulted in me not being a part of the lunch bunch.
@@CaroleClark-t8g most places would only separate it in 2 or 3 and this usually happened with more than 5 people
Story 2 is crab apple for me. What I think is funny is he probably was tearing her down because he’s losing his hair. So in a weird way she just got to the root of the problem.
Heheh, *root* of the problem.
@@toastyy_cat 😉
What bothers me about this one is, he had to know that she was sensitive about the "baby weight." If he acted so rudely and commented so many times, I would totally understand that she finally snapped. She shouldn't have said what she did, but 100 percent he pushed her to that point.
I hope they get counseling.
Another thing about apple number 3 is that it sounds like her mental illness is trauma based or at least was triggered by trauma. So, it's not specifically something genetic that would have been passed down to anyone in her family.
that what I was thinking! It's kinda like saying you inherited a cold or a broken leg from a family member. I mean not exactly the same, because brains are a little bit more complecated then that, but similar in a way that there are mental illnesses that you can inherit, like bipolar, or schizophrenia, and some are based mostly on life experiances. With trauma being probobly the least genetic related, because it's literally something happened to you to cause demage to your mental health! of course there can be genetic component in how likely the person is to develop symptoms of mental drauma, and all that stuff, but still it's like MOSTLY about what happeed in your life after you were already born, so that statement doesn't even make any sence!
@@rinlozio1108 agree, but it feels worth mentioning that you *can* inherent trauma, just not as a nephew from your aunt.
Story 2: I would go Crab apple because I think that she should of said something about the way the husband is treating her, however I think she could’ve and should’ve handled it better than making a comment on his hair line, so I would go Crab apple but that is just my opinion.
Apple #2: I think you could make a strong case for crabapple. If he’s been criticizing her for months about her weight gain from pregnancy, it would make sense that she would eventually snap and also say something mean, likely in hopes that he would stopped being such an AH. Could she have said something to him before it got to that point? Sure. (And maybe she did and we don’t know.) But a person can be passive for only so long before their emotions get the better of them. Especially postpartum. But husband is definitely a bad apple. What a d*uchecanoe.
And I feel like Ms. Rogers got distracted by what she said and forgot what led to the woman finally saying that.
@@GreekGoddessStrength precisely!
Pro tip for Goodwill and thrift stores:
You can bring things to the counter and ask them to hold onto it while you keep shopping and make you decision. Often they'll even put your name on it
There are lots of things that maybe you don't want to, it can't physically carry around. Staff knows this and will usually happily keep it aside for you.
Stashing things on the other hand is super annoying to staff. Finding small hoards when straightening up at the end of your shift is a nightmare.
Last story, definitely good apple! If the older woman REALLY wanted the item, then carry it around! Don't leave it off to the side, leave the store and then come back and get right up in someone's face because they decided to buy it!
1-good apple, those friends are just using her.
2- good apple, sometimes we need to put our spouses in place, I'm sure she has told him to stop. Sometimes we need to knock them down a peg to realize that they are truly hurting us.
3-Crabapple, we don't know who told him about his aunt's diagnosis, so I would have asked his parents then let bombs drop. Assuming that it was both of the parents that is where is she lost me.
4- good apple- the fact that the older lady said she has been searching for months for something like that and did not put in her cart is her throwing a tantrum. You snooze you loose.
there are 4 stories. you accidentally skipped 3 I think.
@@K-popstanLuveryep I did. Thanks
ALSO HE COMMENTED ON HER APPEARANCE so why can't she comment on his? Tit for tat or whatever its called
Story 3: the nephew is so wrong. Rebecca correctly explained the genetics but forgot to mention that genes AND environment influence our development. One can carry a gene that increases likelihood of depression and never show signs of it. Environmental factors can trigger genetic expressions so the nephew’s parent(s) not only passed the gene on but they likely had large amounts of control over his environment and experiences.
For #4, if the lady was unsure of whether she was going to get it or not, knowing that this isn't something that can be restocked later, she should have put it into her basket until she was sure. Then, if she didn't want it, she could put it back for the next person. That would have been the best thing to do and prevent confrontational or the loss of a desired purchase.
Story #4 - 1)the lady shouldn't have put it down and walked off if she wanted that bad. 2) Lady, you are in goodwill and your trying to money shame OP, get real.😂😂😂
I have a question from the first story. Why don't they order on separate tabs?
That's how my extended family does it when we go out to eat together. My parents would pay for them, me and my siblings. My uncle would pay for himself, his wife, and daughters. And my other uncle would do the same with his wife and sons.
This keeps everyone's totals exactly what they ordered, and no one outside the tab can affect it.
that's what my friends and I do.
That's what they op wants to do but gets railroaded into chipping in
Some restaurants don't let you. Those restaurants make one bill. Some will still let you charge multiple cards to that payment method, but others sometimes only let you charge one card. When I've encountered this, we tend to "go Dutch" and have to calculate what we're charging.
This is how my family and friends have always done it. Dating as well. You pay for what you eat. Simple as that. 😂
Exactly that's how my friends and family do it.
#3 Might not even suffer from mental health issues relating to medical depression. She mentioned abuse. I was sa'ed as a child which has caused me to have numerous issues in my life including now. Without the abuse who's to say that I'd need all the therapy and medication that I take/have taken (anxiety).
This is what I was thinking, like her depression came from trauma, not from a chemical imbalance.
Story 4: if the item isn’t in your cart (or in front of you while you’re checking it out), then you have no claim to it! You can always put it back if you decide you don’t want it…This is a lesson I learned the hard way that still pains me a little when I think about it 😂 there was this gorgeous analogue clock that I saw in a thrift store, and I left it on the shelf while I thought about whether I should buy it. Then once I decided I wanted it, I walked back over just in time to see an older lady putting it in her cart 😩😩 lesson learned!
For letter number 3, if at all possible, maybe check in with nephew. His comment may have been a cry for help. I don’t want LW to get in uncomfortably deep in family drama, but maybe a “are you okay?” wouldn’t go astray.
The person in the first story should try to hang out with them and not buy any food and straight up say I didn't buy any food I'm not paying and then see how badly they flip out.
Story 4: There is something called The Rules of the Will. If you hide something for another day, then someone finds it and buys it, the first person loses out on the object.
If they came up nicely to me I probably would have paid for it and gave it to them 25:28
And I wish we could think of things in the moment more easily such as telling the older couple that if they would come up nicely maybe they can have it or something like that 25:46
Omg I've been scouring through all the aitba videos and had been looking for one I haven't watched yet.
Ty for coming to my rescue, Ms Rogers!
She posts every Tuesday
@@eeshapopat4067 ohhhh, I thought it was every thursday
@@toastyy_cat nope it’s every Tuesday idk what time specifically
@@eeshapopat4067 I think I got confused with wyb and aitba
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this every week !!!❤❤
10:17 The only thing that I sympathize with OP on is that she literally gained weight to grow his child (yes the baby is also hers, but she’s not ridiculing herself in the situation like her husband is ridiculing her). I don’t think it’s okay to make mean comments that are intended to hurt someone about someone’s appearance they cannot really change (like the 5 minutes rule of don’t tell someone something if they can’t change it in 5 minutes) in a blink. Or ever if it’s intended to hurt someone. But I think it’s another level of hurt when someone makes comments on the body that was a result of the growth and delivery of their child. So I understand more why her instinctual reaction was to go with appearance because he picked such a vulnerable place to make fun of her (you would think the main supporter of her gaining weight would have been him because it meant the baby was being taken care of) and she involuntarily went with something she subconsciously knew was as vulnerable of a place for him. So I do feel for this woman. Plus there are so many hormones a woman experiences within the year after she gives birth. I think there’s more nuance to this one. This is coming from someone whose dad went bald at 25, too. I know that’s a reality, but it’s nothing compared to the shock a woman gets when her husband comments on her weight just a few months after she giving birth to their child. And before people come for me losing your hair because of cancer is different (and is a horrible horrible thing) but obviously this isn’t that situation (and hopefully if someone does suffer from cancer they are able to see a day where their hair is grown back fully or where they are able to see that they aged and are losing hair because it means they survived to see themselves age and/or grow their hair back!).
Story 4: I agree. If the approach was different, I could see the outcome being in the lady's favor.
With Apple 2, Rogers completely lost me-the partner went over the line LONG ago and feeling ridiculed for a single comment compared to multiple comments about her weight and body size? What thin skin; she was absolutely a Good Apple.
I had a hard time losing weight for years, getting comments about it, being told what to eat and what not. I had an undiagnosed thyroid in high school. Now I'm working on it. Also if I recall when pregnant your body needs nutrients for the fetus and when the baby is born.
I seen way too many reddit stories about bad spouses talking their pregnant spouse what to eat and diet to loose weight.
just because he is a completely rotten apple because he is doesn't make her a good apple they can both be in the wrong
It doesn't really justify what she said, Yeah he was being a asshole about it but doesn't mean your ok to shame there appearance
@@Devoxio.Personally think it was totally justified. For all we know she had been trying to tell him to stop for a while and he refused to listen. And if you let people talk to you like that and say nothing in return then they're going to just walk all over you you have to be able to stand up for yourself
I can understand crab for story 2 but bad?! He dished out but he can't take it? Wow. Can I point out that this has been an ongoing issue with at least two instances named in the story and Op had enough. She was at her breaking point. And I have heard that there are products and companies that will help with hair loss just like weight loss. And let's keep in mind; She just had a child! And yes the husband had a daughter too but not in the same way, he didn't go through about nine months of growing a literal human. And I hear giving birth takes a lot of energy out of a woman. So I'm going Good apple, but I can see it maybe shifting down to crab.
Also if you are breastfeeding you have to eat more. His comments were gross all the way around.
Both need to be adults for their child at the end of the day
The point is both partners are bad apples.
I personally love the fact that you always give the reminders. Although it is sad adults need to be told to act like adults
Gotta disagree on 2nd, if he made her “feel bad”, is it so awful she did the same? I get, it was a low blow, but it’s been a continuous problem, and honestly, don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Good apple, but hey! That’s just me!
I feel the same. ❤
Me too
On the last one.. I take my things to the counter.. they will hold things for you. If you change your mind.. put it back. But if you leave the store.. get over yourself. Not yours. Lol
Apple 4: Good Apple. OP didn't even steal it 💀 that's insane. Old lady needs to learn that if you're thinking about something you put it in your cart and walk around with it and put it back if you change your mind. Dont have a cart? Carry it around. Also, old lady, are you gonna die without the $5 statue? Do you really need it? Go throw a temper tantrum elsewhere lady. Gold stars 🌟 to OP
First! Love this series so much! I’ve seen them all (multiple times), and your videos always help my anxiety and depression, so thank you!
In case anybody was looking for timestamps for stories 2-4:
6:40 #2 - Throwing Karma at Husband
11:16 #3 - Calling out Nephew
19:06 #4 - Stealing from Old Lady
Have an amazing day everyone :D ❤
Appreciate you!
00:00 intro
01:31 Apple #1
06:39 Apple #2
11:15 Apple #3
19:04 Apple #4
27:15 recap/well wishes
hope this helps!!! ❤❤❤
enjoy ur day!!! 🤗
OMG thank youuuu. It always bothers me when there aren't those dividers. Love these videos.
thank you sm!
Thank you! 😊
Tysm ❤❤
@@stillnotmyname same!!!!!!!!! as a content creator, it bothers me when my videos don't have chapters
#1 I would eat something before you meet them. Then just go for the conversation. Then after they finish paying. Order your take home dinner.
got my tea, snacks, and fur baby. i'm ready for this episode ❤❤❤
I COMPLETELY agree on the first one. I say RUN from those friends, they are taking advantage of op. Fake friends!!
So for the second story, hes allowed to try to attack her to make her feel as bad as he does, but when she throws it back, eye for an eye, shes a the asshole? No. If you can throw it out, you can take it back.
I love your reminder that we all should show compassion. As far as I'm concerned, we need to be reminded of this every darn day. Just stumbled on your channel a week or two ago via your shorts. Consider me charmed.
Lmao…ok buddy
@@stargirl91291 can you please clarify what you mean by that?
I love this series! Who else?
This and smosh’s
Story 2:
I would consider Crab Apple or even Good Apple IF she had brought it up to him. From how it's told, she never communicated that it upset her or talked at all about it with him. If he continued pestering her about it constantly after a good discussion or two, then maybe Crab Apple, but going straight to insults about something she KNOWS he is incredibly insecure about is uncalled for.
Apple #1: Agree 100% with all you said. They are using her and she just needs to shed the toxic group. Apple #2: I say Crab apple: throwing back shade to help him see what he was doing is fine, but as you said, when you do so to hurt them it is a different category. Apple #3: Her brother and SIL had no right to say anything to their son about her history. In addition, her history was caused by trauma and cannot be related to his what-so-ever. Absolutely Good Apple. Apple#4: Good Apple. If you are in a thrift store and fins something you might like but are yet undecided, you take it with you. If you need to get some confirmation from your spouse... maybe they are in charge of financials... the take a picture and text it to them and then call, but carry the piece(s) with you while the decision is being made. If you don't, you MUST be resigned to the idea that someone else may come along and like it as much as you do and could take it to the register before you. That is just the way things work in thrifting.
#2- I can relate to what she did. She didn't want to hurt him. And i don't think it was like a revenge thing either. She only wanted to show him how he was making her feel. If she could have made him stop hurting her by simply telling him those remarks hurt my feelings, she would have done that.
Goodwill has 5 different color tags, one for each week. The colors change every Sunday. The new color is half off. My sister shops there several times a week. She hides things that will be half off on Sunday. It’s a riot! I saw a great bag one day, but it was $20. She hid it in the stuffed animal row and bought it for me for my birthday. She would never confront someone if they found what she hid. Thrifting is her favorite hobby. And I get awesome presents from her.
2nd story I would say, crab apple, because he made multiple comments on her weight. So yes, she was petty about using something he can't change, but I believe she was justified to make one comment and not multiple. He didn't deserved to be called bald, but he did deserve to be called out of his behavior.
I disagree. It should have started with a conversation about how those comments hurt her feelings. It might seem obvious to us, but I've had situations where what was obvious to me was not obvious to the other person. Talking about it was a lightbulb moment for that person. Now, this is where I might differ from MJ; if he refused to listen, that's when "taste of his own medicine" is justified. When you are in a relationship, communication should be the first course of action.
@@HeartFeathers yes I agree, now that I think about it, there could've been a lot of things done. Especially a discussion, and if he continued then I could see her final straw comment
@@HeartFeathersfor me even though she didn't say it in the story I feel like just off the impression she gave she probably did try talking about it or mention that she didn't want him doing that of course we don't know for sure but I would assume she probably did
Second story REEKS of disgust on the part of both people.
I’m sure they’re both tired and stressed from having a new baby in the household, but this marriage isn’t going to survive if they keep sniping at each other.
Story #3: I’m not sure why you would change your ranking on OP if she sent a message to the nephew. He’s not a little kid here - he’s going to be a legal adult in a matter of months and he should be ready to answer for his own actions. Even if he was ill informed he was incredibly rude. It didn’t sound like OP’s messages were out of line to her brother and former SIL, so do we assume it would be out of line for the nephew? What I’m saying is, I don’t understand why sending him a message to reiterate how his behavior was inappropriate would be a bad thing.
I think her history as a teacher might have trained her to not go after minors because you will get in trouble for it.
25:17
I was always taught that if you’re unsure about buying something you should put it in your basket and reevaluate before checking out
Story one: I can not stress enough how much of a GOOD APPLE you are! On my 20th birthday, I went out with some friends and my god sister when it came time for the bill we sat there for nearly 2 hrs. We ended up surrounded by wait staff because my god sister decided she wouldn't pay her full amount. I gave everyone back their money. exactly how they gave it and went with the waiter to make the separate checks. DON'T F'ING PLAY WITH MY HARD-EARNED MONEY ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Literally I’m watching this video for the first time, a week after the post but on the day you posted this I reconnected with one of my friends
Yeah I can’t with the kids at my school. These trends are so out of hand!! 😢😠
It seems reasonable to put something in your cart to make up your mind about a purchase vs hiding something. If she needed it that much, she would have put it in her basket.
i accidentally moved something someone was hiding. i didn't know they were. I just was something totally out of place and it did not fit very well. so I moved it. this was in Walmart. I was wait for someone to get their hair done in the salon they have. I was sitting there when this lady came in and was looking for something in the exact place I moved something from.
Reminders are also good for ADHD, you're also being inclusive Rebecca I love it ❤😊
Story #2: Nah, the husband “Crossed the line” long ago. He’s been making comments about her appearance for a long time. He knows that it hurts her. It’s kind of a double standard to say that many insults towards the wife isn’t that bad, but one insult towards the husband is absolutely unacceptable and makes her a bad apple.
That explains why the social group I go to whenever we have outings we never split the bill we all pay ourselves or our parents will pay it I’ll admit I’m in my early 20’s The only thing I wish school taught more about when I was in school was on Social Skills.
Regarding your comment on about using words to talk things out, i have an story.
I went to a festival last year mainly to see an especific artist. The scenary she was assigned (there were 3) was one of the smallests and it was full to the brim, you literally couldn't move lol and i could bearly see her as a dot moving in the scenary. In the most iconic song of her 2 girls in front (like 2 people apart from me) climb to their bfs shoulders and bloked the view for everyone behind.
We were so mad insulting and throwing thinks to them but they just got sassier, enjoying bloking our view, until a girl directly behind them got their attention and ask nicely for them to get down so we all could see. They looked so embarrassed! They did it silently. Clearly they didnt spect someone to call them out in a mature way.
Thats how i experienced the power of words and being respectful.
Story 4
Reserving vs hiding a item is very different
Reserving is calling a larger company ahead of time to put aside a item with intent to buy as soon as it’s available (in stock)
Hiding a item with intention to buy it later doesn’t give you any ownership especially in a place like goodwill where everything is a limited item what will most likely not be there for a long time unless it’s donated again or by a different person
The last story i think good apple too. And i can probably give a little bit inside this situation a lot of these older people. That frequent goodwill put it up for sale. So the cover an idem up and they'll go and look it up on Internet to see how much they could get for it. And then they purchased the item posted on somewhere to sell it and make money on it. So I highly doubt that she was going to put it on her table. I have a feeling she was going to resell it to someone else for a higher dollar.
Heres an idea; you could call a bad batch as a couple of rotten apples! And the design could be the bad apple except colored black because rotten apples are usually marroon or black!
OP in story one needs new friends
yup!
#1, is so obvious the “friends” are only inviting her to subsidize their meals, she needs to break off from that group and find some real friends
Story 4: good apple, but it also feels like a similar principle to the parking spot story from last week. In both situations, someone demanded something they were not entitled to, and that they probably would have received had they asked nicely. Sometimes we do need to put our foot down.
Maybe a bad batch could be a bunch of bad apples coming out of a cartoon basket?
Story number 4 reminded me of something that happened to me 10+ years ago. People think that little old women are so nice but some can be really mean when they don't get what they want...
I, with just a few items, was in line at a supermarket checkout with about half a dozen people in front of me. The little old Asian woman (so tiny!) directly in front of me said in broken English that she needed to go get something she forgot (she said again and again it would only be 1 item and she'd be back in 1 minute, 1 minute!) and asked me to keep her already very full trolley in line. I happily obliged (even though it would have been more convenient for me to refuse so I could get out significantly faster) as she dashed off faster than you'd think possible. I was sure she'd be back long before her turn. I, with her trolley and my little basket, moved forward in the queue a couple of spaces before something went wrong with someone's order and there was a big delay that had the rest of us standing there for easily 15 more minutes than was predictable. Meanwhile, the little old lady who was going to be back in a minute still hasn't returned at all... Well, we kept moving forward and I was craning my head around to see down the nearest aisles and the ends of the other aisles to try to see her anywhere and gesture for her to hurry but she was nowhere to be seen. Eventually, it was my turn and she hadn't come back so I pushed her trolley to a spot nearby but out of the way and started putting things on the conveyer belt to be checked out. A couple of seconds later, she appeared screeching at the top of her tiny lungs about how I stole her spot and how rude I am and how I have to respect my elders and a whole bunch of other stuff, and then she literally elbowed me in the side of the ribs and started trying to get my items off the conveyer belt and trying to physically push me out of the way as she pulled her trolley back over. She was so tiny and I honestly couldn't make out the vast majority of what she said but I swear she was like a demon. I told her I kept her trolley in line as long as I could but that she was gone too long and lost her place and it was my turn now. She wouldn't hear a word of it. The guy at the register didn't want to get involved. Eventually I just sort of leaned over my stuff, guarding it from her side so he could check it out from his, but I left that line with bruises and scratches. I should have told the guy to call security or gone to security myself but I was a pushover that had only steeled my resolve so far as to stand my ground and then get the hell outta there.
Honestly I just wanted to get away from people in general and escape to home, my safe space. Anxiety and depression and sensory issues and undiagnosed autism don't mesh well with shopping centres at the best of times, let alone when getting actively physically attacked.
And like in the story, and Rebecca's reaction, I too would have happily let her have her way if she hadn't come up screaming and elbowing me painfully. There are ways to get what you want and being a banshee is not a good one.
But yeah, not all little old ladies are sweethearts when they don't get their way.
And I have no idea what took her so long to come back. Maybe she was talking to someone around the corner for 20 minutes. She only had a few items in her arms when she came back. So much for it being just 1 item and back in 1 minute though.
Disclaimer: I'm not racist. I mentioned her race and broken English to indicate she might have come from a culture very different from the fairly laid back Aussie way, where her behaviour would have made more sense. Perhaps, in some Asian countries, 20 somethings would have stopped anyone from going through checkout until the elderly person reclaimed her trolley and went through. I don't know and I'm not passing judgement either way. I also have problems understanding broken English, both from an accent and grammatical point of view, which is why I honestly missed a lot of what she said and it's possible there was some emergency or something, but her main issue in what I could make out seemed to be how "rude" I was being for going before her. To her credit, she knew a heck of a lot more English words than I knew of her language: 0.
The culture gap may have been a factor but it was not an excuse.
All that I am passing judgement on was the violence, screaming at me and trying to physically remove me and my items.
My autism schedule (other than my job
Sunday: Volunteering & Church
Monday: Waiting For Tuesday
Tuesday: Bad Apple Video After Vocal Lessons
Wednesdays: Leading Youth Group & catching up on Rebecca’s videos
Thursdays: Watching Rebecca’s shorts/podcast
Friday: Watching Anything TH-cam/TikTok
Saturday: Random
Story 4- to "are you gonna die if you don't have it?" I would have responded with "Yep," but I'm a bit sassier and would've added "but not before you do, Medical Alert. Quit trying to give yourself a coronary"
I absolutely agree with your thoughts on the goodwill story. I am interested though in how you view this in comparison with that story from last week (i think!) With the guy who stayed in the spot because the other driver laid on the horn and yelled at him move. I remeber you had the opposite opinion on that and am curious about your thoughts in comparing the two.
(Since text doesnt show tone and this is the internet: i am legitimately curious!)
I live in a small village in SW France. We were having dinner with another couple who are new and have a holiday home in the village Because of cancer treatment I’m on, I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t eat a lot-and my whole village knows this lol. I had a main dish and water. Hubby had main dish and a glass of wine. They had each an appetizer, main dish, 2 glasses of wine and he had dessert. They don’t speak French. I went up with him to pay and he says to me, let’s just split the bill so it’s easier. I said that to the owner-and he split it in two…with their food on one check and ours on the other. I overhead the owner say that no one treats madam that way!
#4 The old lady could have put it in her cart and took her time to decide . She also could have been nice and humble about it requesting it and not demanding it . She could have offerd more than the sale price for it to the young person if she wanted it so bad.
Number 4: Yeah, the old lady needed it more, but what she needed even more was a reality check for her entitlement.
Last story, remembered me that Bojack episode
I dated a narcissist, this was an interaction we had just prior to our breakup:
Him: “Hey I was thinking BBQ for dinner, what do you think?”
Me: “Yea sure that sounds good, I could definitely go for some ribs”
He immediately started laughing and said: “You know what you remind me of when you say that?!”
Proceeds to show me a picture of Jaba the hut….
I blankly stared him and asked “Do you think that’s funny? Because that’s not a funny joke.”
Him still laughing “it was a joke don’t take it so hard”
I was 145lbs at 5’6”… emotional abuse is often “disguised” as a joke but it’s only funny to one person.
He used this tactic to make an excuse to not talk to me for days on end as well. Don’t fall for it folks, someone who loves you, won’t make fun of you, or use your insecurities against you.
Number 4: yea as an avid Goodwill shopper... you definitely can't call dibs. If you are thinking of buying it then take it with you and then put it back if you decide you don't want it.. But if you leave it on the shelf then it is fair game to anyone else in the store
Former Good Will employee here (I know, I've done it all.) So, employees can't hide things they want, and neither can the customers. That's absolutely ridiculous and entitled. Employees don't even get to shop on the same day they work. The clientele at Good Will is extremely frustrating. Everyone wants more for less, and it's not always priceless treasures. There's a color code system where each week a different colored sticker goes on sale. Each item has a colored sticker from when they went out on the floor. I've had so many people ask me about the color of the week. From "Is this [color]?" to "Where are all the [color] items?!" It is incredibly frustrating because everyone wants something for nothing. And me being judgmental, no one needs that much, particularly on a fixed income. I had a guy who told me to watch a "pie plate" while I was working at the cash register. When he came back, it was gone. And he was abusive toward me about it the next few times he came in. It's ridiculous that you think you're getting a "deal" for what is essentially garbage. I get that one person's trash is another's treasure, but not at the expense of mistreating someone. Like, it's not going to bring wealth or happiness. I'm sorry. That story just riled me up.
I feel like the second story is a perfect example for me personally where it’s not what I would have done, but I would have went 🦀 🍎…. I don’t think her giving it back to him was 💯 percent wrong, it’s just not how I would have handled it… and absolutely 🚩 🚩!!! Just seems toxic all the way around…
Thanks! I actually got to reconnect with a dear friend of mine the other day. And all it took was a minute to send a text.
Kinda weird that I'm subscribed, hit the bell, but I'm only getting notifications for your shorts and none of your videos- which are what I'm here for
#2: I would give OP crab apple because i think it’s justified that you would get tired of someone fat-shaming you, especially being your HUSBAND, but the way OP reacted wasn’t the only way she could have handled it.
Story #3 brought back a funny memory for me personally. My oldest son was extremely allergic to cinnamon when ingested and I thought that was a strange allergy. Well... I came to learn it was an allergy already present in the family when my bio Aunt found out he was allergic to cinnamon and proceeded to look shocked and sad, then turned to my toddler and apologized profusely for passing that to him cause of the DNA connection between her and I. I laughed and told her it's not her fault that her mother's genes passed that to her and my genes apparently passed it to my son. However it was nice to know he's not alone with having an allergy to cinnamon... (unlike my pineapple and pear allergies which don't show up anywhere in our known family line) now I knew anything that was safe for him was safe for her and was so glad I'd never given her anything containing cinnamon. We definitely had a good laugh and then a mini celebration when we found out he outgrew that allergy even though she didn't. It was very amusing to hear something that brought that memory back. However I don't think OP was out of line for calling out the kid in the moment or for contacting his parents to call them out for exposing her private medical info without her consent.
When my partner and I joke about each others' bodies, it goes something like this:
"Ugh, why is your hair everywhere?"
"Why is your hair nowhere?"
I have really long hair and he has really short hair. Its funny, because neither of us have a real insecurity about it. He never says anything negative about me gaining weight after having our daughter. I have never made him feel bad about any changes in his body since we met. It just doesn't make sense to do that to someone you love.
1. Good apple. Friends? Not so much. They're taking advantage
2. Two Bad apples. You can't teach compassion by acting the same rude childish way.
3. OP is a bad apple if she "told off" a kid. Nephew is confused about familial genetic predisposition vs. direct issues. I really like your explanation of that. Parents are bad apples for blaming aunt for nephew's issue.
4. Old couple were bad apples for yelling. Hiding merchandise is a poor plan. They could have held on to the statue while deciding. OP is a good apple. It's not like the OP took it out of their cart.
I am very confused about story 4 if you were thinking about buying something then you should put it in your cart. We were also allowed to put bigger items that couldn't be put in your car on hold at the thrift store I worked at and I don't really see why you couldn't do that at other stores not just for their stores but stuff like furniture stores.
With story 2 I think it should be considered how long he has been doing this her child is several months old and from the comments made you can tell that 1. He’s been doing this for a while 2. She actively talked to him about it and instead of apologizing and understanding that what he said hurt her he made an excuse. He is actively repeating something that she has voiced upsets her to hear what she did was equivalent to what he did and the purpose of it based on how the question is phrased is to show him how it hurts to do that to her that’s what karma is about, you get what you give. What you said would absolutely be correct if it was the first time he said something and she immediately snapped back without pointing out that it hurt her, but that simply isn’t the case. This situation showed that he is actively seeking to hurt her with his comments so she did the same and sometimes it is necessary to show people that their words hurt or else they’ll just continue doing what their doing. I’d say good apple.
I love that reminder for new people, and I love it beusece I'm a new person.
For the bbad batch idea, you can just have 3 bad apples grouped together with like 2 smaller ones behind a bugger sized one if u get what i mean
Story 1; this is why my friends and I take a photo of the receipt and send it to the group chat, if we can’t pay separately and then we transfer the amount what we each ate/drank to one person so it all adds up!
On story #2, I don't think her intention was to make him feel as bad as she feels when he makes his comments, but rather to make a point that I hurts. Idk if she has told him how his comments make her feel or if she stayed silent to this point. She should have voiced her feelings but I know that's not always easy. Especially in cases like this when you'd think the husband should be aware that he wasn't being nice. She just went through so much. It changed her beyond what she knew was possible. She brought another life to this world and instead of a loving, supportive husband who sees this awesome thing she did, she gets told kinda the opposite. I'd be depressed and wouldn't feel motivated to loose the weight.
Can we still call you Ms. Rogers?
lol I kinda wish I haven’t been following this series since the beginning. I’d love to binge watch it but the way my memory works I can’t do that😭😭 at least not for a while
The bad batch icon could be a basket of bad apples
#1: I don't blame OP at all. Also, I would at least stop going out to eat with them if not completely avoid them/end her time as their friend. The latter depends on what kind of friends they are outside of restaurants. Good Apple.
#2: While I would never comment on anyone's appearance, I don't really blame OP for doing it. She was just giving back what she was getting from her husband. Call it what you will, but I would go Crab Apple. I can't go Bad Apple because it was on the same level, and I can't go Good Apple because it was petty, nonetheless.
#3: The only thing I can think of is, maybe, they were with their son at his doctor's office (minors need to be accompanied by a parent or guardian up until a certain point) and OP was brought up during a discussion about family medical history. While an aunt isn't going to pass genetic traits to the nephew, it can be helpful to know if anyone within the same bloodline has/had the same problem. OP is assuming it was gossip. I can't go Good Apple because she went off without all the details, but I can't go Bad Apple because she is concerned that her brother and/or SIL are talking about it with their son. I'm gonna go Crab Apple since we don't know for sure which one it actually was.
#4: I've seen where people will hide things at thrift stores to come back later to get the item for cheaper on discount days. I've also seen where employees will hide things of high value hoping to snatch it on break or after work. Goodwill has Senior Citizens discounts on Thursdays (yes, I went to Google to find out). So, the older lady probably was saving it for then and realized too late that OP had it. Being on a limited income, retirees will save anywhere they can. That explains why it was hidden. However, the "getting in my face and yelling at me," part is where I would draw the line. I'm not a doormat, but I'm a decent human being. If you are polite, I'm pretty nice and helpful. The second I see "Karen" forming, my being nice and helpful goes right out the window. You get what you give.
Apple #1 - NTBA- Find new friends … If you don’t want to find new friends tell the waiter at the beginning of the meal that your check is separate from the group.
Apple #2 - Crab Apple - She shouldn’t have said what she said but girl he’s a narcissist-RUN!
Apple #3 - Good Apple and if I were her I would continue to avoid the brother and his family whenever possible!
Apple #4 - NTBA - the old lady who was “thinking” about it should have put it in her cart instead of hiding it! I would have bought it too since she was so nasty.
As a former waitress, I HATED, splitting the bill evenly. Sometimes the bill doesn’t split evenly. Then you got to figure out who wants to pay the extra couple pennies, it’s a lot of back and forth, it’s way more work!
PSA if your going to pay separate tell your waitress when your first seated. It’s just easier for everyone!!
You,r a former?
I like your disclaimer intros
The bad bach could be a rotten piece of pie if just a rotten pie. With flys and green filling.
#2 i would say crab apple
im all on the "if you cant take it...dont dish it"
#4 she was nice enough to walk around and wait...
its goodwill its 1st find 1st get..but if this old crow wasn't a b i would totally be ok with giving it to her
#2 maybe crossed the line into crab apple territory, but that's debatable. But to say something about your postpartum wife's weight after she pushed out your child? Not sure if there's anything worse than a bad apple, but if there is that sure qualifies. #3 I completely agree with, though I would add that if they are comfortable with it, sit down with the nephew and talk with him about your traumas, his traumas, and how to get the appropriate help he might need. Speaking from experience, I truly wish that I had somebody that would have talked to me about getting help
On the last one I would have calmly explained that the only reason I was saying no was because of her behavior and she brought it on herself. Being older doesn't make it ok to act hateful and rude and entitled. That behavior should never be rewarded.
On story 3 i get the feeling the parents of the 17 year old texted him thats the text to him mentioned getting on his case for saying that they told him to her, and were refusing responsibility that it was wrong and choosing that he was wrong for exposing them
Story 4 ive done both put it to the side and carried it around and changed my mind, or got it in the end. Never have i got into a argument over it. May of gone back n gone oh bother oh well kicking my self.
1:35 plus people love consistency’s
For the bad batch logo, it should be a basket full of bad apples. 11:00