GREAT JOKES. AN OLD JEWISH COUPLE IS VACATIONING IN MIAMI ITS LATE AT NIGHT AND THE HUSBAND DECIDES TO TAKE A WALK.HE RUNS INTO A HOOKER.HE SAYS : HOW MUCH ? SHE SAYS $100.HE REPLIES : HOW ABOUT $10.THE HOOKER SWEARS AT HIM AND WALKS AWAY.A FEW HOURS LATER THE WIFE DECIDES SHE TOO WANTS TO TAKE A WALK.THE HUSBAND GOES WITH HER.AS THEY'RE WALKING THEY RUN INTO THE HOOKER AND SHE SAYS TO THE HUSBAND: SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR $10.
Moni Ovadia once told this one on one of his shows- (I'll translate quickly from Italian): "Somewhere in the States two Jewish guys are discussing family matters and happen to talk about their SONS. One of them says: "Did you know?...I educated my son as a good Jew - in the Old, Venerated Traditions of the Old Faith of my Forefathers. He's been always a good kid - very respectful "tradition-wise" and THEN ...ONE DAY...I sent him to Israel - AND HE CAME BACK A Christian! - Can you imagine??" The other guy - baffled - responds: "Well! - that is DAMN STRANGE! I also have a son - you've known him for years! - I also educated him in the ways of the True Religion - he has also been a good kid, until one day I sent him to Isreal and you know what he did? ...HE CAME BACK A CHRISTIAN!" They talk back & forth upon what happened and decide to go the Rabbi to seek for guidance. The Rabbi - even more surprised! - tells them: "Do the two of you know that I ALSO have a son - good, educated in our old, traditional ways of doing things - he WENT TO ISRAEL - AND CAME BACK A CHRISTIAN??? ...WHAT IS GOING ON???..." All three - very baffled! - to have known all this decide after a heated discussion to ASK God himself what's going on!" So they pray: "Oh Almighty God - God Of Isaac and Jacob! - God Of Israel - PLEASE! - we humbly ask You to respond us - why are we sending our sons to Israel and they all came back Christians??? WHAT SHALL WE DO???" SUDDENLY - A VOICE FROM ABOVE RESPONDS: "DAMMITl! THAT IS STRANGE! I also sent my Son one day to Israel! DO YOU KNOW HOW HE CAME BACK ... " ???
Jews are sweet. I love them.This one I heard from my Jewish teacher. A man asked very little boy a question. What is 2 plus 4? The boy answered, "It's 6''. The man said, It's pretty goood. And the boy shouted, "What's you mean pretty good? It's perfect!"
Two guys walking down the street and one says " I'm a little stiff from bowling". The other guy says " I don't care where you are from, you little stiff"!
Leo osten has this joke. A spy was sent to israel to locate a fellow spy from the mossad. When he entered the building where the mossad agent was to live he ask an elderly guy if he knew a guy named Lieberman. The elderly man said: sure. There's Lieberman the taylor, Lieberman the grocer, Lieberman the jeweller I'm even Lieberman myself. Then the spy said: the oranges in Venezuela are red. The elderly man said: ah you're looking for Lieberman the spy!
2:43 i was flying on luftansa Italia, back when there WAS such a thing, from naples to munich or frankfurt. the plane lands and the pilot makes the announcement in german. then 15 seconds later he makes it in english. then finally 30 seconds later in italian. of course after the whole plane is standing in the aisle by this time. hello? they speak italian the most. second english. and THIRDLY german. he made the annoucement in the exact incorrect order! then he came on again angry in italian and told 'em to sit down. hello?!
Sorry for being slow here, but can someone explain the seatbelt joke to me? (I mean, I get that one group of passengers is Jewish, and one group is Christian, and the crowd sure seemed to love the joke. But I think I’m missing something.) Thanks.
i think it means that Jews (i am one) are always in a hurry to get off the plane, especially if its landing in tel Aviv, while Christians were not in a rush and were still sitting.
The stories of Jesus were created at the Council of Nicaea including the "miracle of virgin birth, resurrection, walking on water etc. Watch George Carlin religion is ....... You tube.
Very funny......and who said women weren't funny never had jewish lady's tell them a joke.
Nicely done.
Lady's what? Husband?
So true about flights arriving in Tel Aviv 😊😉🔯
GREAT JOKES. AN OLD JEWISH COUPLE IS VACATIONING IN MIAMI
ITS LATE AT NIGHT AND THE HUSBAND DECIDES TO TAKE A WALK.HE RUNS INTO A HOOKER.HE SAYS : HOW MUCH ? SHE SAYS $100.HE REPLIES : HOW ABOUT $10.THE HOOKER SWEARS AT HIM AND WALKS AWAY.A FEW HOURS LATER THE WIFE DECIDES SHE TOO WANTS TO TAKE A WALK.THE HUSBAND GOES WITH HER.AS THEY'RE WALKING THEY RUN INTO THE HOOKER AND SHE SAYS TO THE HUSBAND:
SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR $10.
The music was intentionally loud. They knew we’d need to complain about something.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Moni Ovadia once told this one on one of his shows- (I'll translate quickly from Italian):
"Somewhere in the States two Jewish guys are discussing family matters and happen to talk about their SONS. One of them says: "Did you know?...I educated my son as a good Jew - in the Old, Venerated Traditions of the Old Faith of my Forefathers. He's been always a good kid - very respectful "tradition-wise" and THEN ...ONE DAY...I sent him to Israel - AND HE CAME BACK A Christian! - Can you imagine??" The other guy - baffled - responds: "Well! - that is DAMN STRANGE! I also have a son - you've known him for years! - I also educated him in the ways of the True Religion - he has also been a good kid, until one day I sent him to Isreal and you know what he did? ...HE CAME BACK A CHRISTIAN!" They talk back & forth upon what happened and decide to go the Rabbi to seek for guidance. The Rabbi - even more surprised! - tells them: "Do the two of you know that I ALSO have a son - good, educated in our old, traditional ways of doing things - he WENT TO ISRAEL - AND CAME BACK A CHRISTIAN??? ...WHAT IS GOING ON???..." All three - very baffled! - to have known all this decide after a heated discussion to ASK God himself what's going on!" So they pray: "Oh Almighty God - God Of Isaac and Jacob! - God Of Israel - PLEASE! - we humbly ask You to respond us - why are we sending our sons to Israel and they all came back Christians??? WHAT SHALL WE DO???" SUDDENLY - A VOICE FROM ABOVE RESPONDS: "DAMMITl! THAT IS STRANGE! I also sent my Son one day to Israel! DO YOU KNOW HOW HE CAME BACK ... " ???
Brilliant 👏 👏
Ah, the Tookus. Laughed so loud
Jews are sweet. I love them.This one I heard from my Jewish teacher. A man asked very little boy a question. What is 2 plus 4? The boy answered, "It's 6''. The man said, It's pretty goood. And the boy shouted, "What's you mean pretty good? It's perfect!"
teacher asks little Jewish kid "What is 2 + 2?" the kid reply's "What are we doing Buying or Selling?"
ALL those Jewish jokes were g r e a t!!!! Thanks for the laughs!!!!
Rabbi says: „That background music is in the foreground.“ Cutter says; „What?“.
Cutter?
Agreed, the music is too loud
That's really Great.
Maybe if you turned down the background music I could hear what the comedians are saying.
I agree
They were saying something?
Two guys walking down the street and one says " I'm a little stiff from bowling". The other guy says " I don't care where you are from, you little stiff"!
Pushed it back in. 😉
i'm laughing harder at the comments.
I wish these guys would stop talking - the music is delightful!
Loved the version of Night In Tunisia
Your right
Music provided by Toronto’s Yiddish Swingtet from their album “Shul Days”
Hard to hear the jokes above the music. You needed music? Why?
About 1:50 the little girl is hilarious
And so true. Oy!
Love your jokes . Have a few of my own . Any advice on how to get them out there?
Music, Shmoozic, who needs it?
Good ones.😂
Just lower the music a bit and it will be perfect.
Leo osten has this joke. A spy was sent to israel to locate a fellow spy from the mossad. When he entered the building where the mossad agent was to live he ask an elderly guy if he knew a guy named Lieberman. The elderly man said: sure. There's Lieberman the taylor, Lieberman the grocer, Lieberman the jeweller I'm even Lieberman myself. Then the spy said: the oranges in Venezuela are red. The elderly man said: ah you're looking for Lieberman the spy!
I didn't get the one about the china, the name Cohen on the back
Rosenthal is a German company that makes a line of fine china plates & household goods
@@josephhook5468 Thanks for the explanation. I didn't get it either. All my plates and cups say "Dixie" on the bottom.
All mine say made in china
@@suncookrocks lol your plates were made in Georgia.
Background music is way too loud. It was hard to hear the jokes.
2:43 i was flying on luftansa Italia, back when there WAS such a thing, from naples to munich or frankfurt. the plane lands and the pilot makes the announcement in german. then 15 seconds later he makes it in english. then finally 30 seconds later in italian. of course after the whole plane is standing in the aisle by this time. hello? they speak italian the most. second english. and THIRDLY german. he made the annoucement in the exact incorrect order! then he came on again angry in italian and told 'em to sit down. hello?!
🤣According to some only Jews get to tell these jokes about being human? Nor fair.
Either tell jokes or play music.
The music is good but too loud.
So, not good.
lose the music or at least turn it down
Sorry for being slow here, but can someone explain the seatbelt joke to me?
(I mean, I get that one group of passengers is Jewish, and one group is Christian, and the crowd sure seemed to love the joke. But I think I’m missing something.)
Thanks.
i think it means that Jews (i am one) are always in a hurry to get off the plane, especially if its landing in tel Aviv, while Christians were not in a rush and were still sitting.
Background music too loud! Spoils all the jokes. Kill it!
So it's true hey you folks complain a lot
Had to stop listening the music too loud.
Dear, oh dear, oh dear....already.
im not sure if i liked the jokes, but the music was superb 😄
Taube Zeifman's kinda cute. 😉
too bad about the annoying music
Wish I could hear the jokes I hear a lot of loud music.. maybe this was intended for the young ,,nah wrong music for them
Lose the music. Please. Thanks.
Oneg? Yeah buddy! That's my blood type. 😆😂 So cheesy. I'm sorry
Not bad!
Can a jew even tell a clean joke?
Hi , really like your jokes ! And how did you get started ? Any advice for someone who like to share some jokes ?
Whaat ????
Stop with the canned laughter already.
Meeh , I’ve heard worse but then I’m deaf
Wow. I guess you have to be Jewish to understand Jewish jokes. I didn't understand a single one.
I got the last one.
Awful music - stop it!
hey jew calm tha t music or they pay you for that!
Numfh!
The jokes were meh!
noo ?
Laught now and cry later , IT's Christ-Jesus you are mocking , your own savior , your messiah !
God forgive you ....2:40
You put Jesus' last name ass backward. It's Jesus Christ, right. What am I missing here? You think he's Chinese?
Alas, you misunderstand the Jewish Jesus.
Screw off you nazi
Di Diane : Speaking as one Christian to another, you’re being an @ssh*le.
The stories of Jesus were created at the Council of Nicaea including the "miracle of virgin birth,
resurrection, walking on water etc. Watch George Carlin religion is ....... You tube.