CJ Langenhoven once said, in Parliament, that half the members were donkeys, and was made to apologise. In his apology he said that he was sorry, and that half of the members are not donkeys.
@@MrCoyneyboythere's no record of him ever saying that in Hansard. It's an urban legend, neither CJ Langenhoven or Dennis Skinner are confirmed as saying it. Dennis Skinner still had plenty of great lines though
Any comments regarding the content on the stage, or just narcissistic jawing about... your own self??? Extremely disrespectful to Jason Manford, the reason viewers are here. If we wanted to know about you and yours, we would swing by your channels. Again, extremely disrespectful and self serving.
I once got punched and the silent treatment for a whole day and she wouldn't even tell me what I did in HER dream. Guess she thought it would give me ideas lol.
I think depriving his dog of Yooch ube ie the most agregious thing anyone has done to an animal like ever. Having said that. My cat was pleased at the revenge.
I love all animals and would’ve had to resist grabbing that woman by the throat if I’d witnessed this. But c’mon this was a JOKE and a HILARIOUS one at that😂😂🤣🤣 So Jason Manford remains as one of my favourite comedians👍
@Not_An_EV you must be one of those hate posters that think they're clever. only exist to irritate, never really contributing anything to a conversation. cancel your internet. get a flip phone without internet.
I called a co worker stupid, in jest! Boss heard and told me to apologise.....so I said, cris. I'm sorry your stupid! We all laught and boss left embarrest😂
But now you're here complaining about the people who complained and saying they don't have a life, but you're taking your time to complain about them complaining thus meaning you must also not have a life. 😂
@@Not_An_EV I'm talking about the people who wrote into the BBC to complain. I'm certainly not complaining, it doesn't affect me. I'm just stating my opinion. I can't really see how you could interpret my comment as a 'complaint', I guess you just wanted to look clever. You failed.
Age gap wise… I’m twelve years older than my second wife (first marriage just didn’t work out) My dad and my mums age gap was about 18yrs (she was also his second wife) A family friend started lying about her age, after one visit my dad turned to my mum and said “don’t you dare knock a few years off your age at any time, we may have been married for twenty years, but I’d still get in a helluva lot of trouble!”
My missus didn't say goodbye to me when left for work and didn't ring or txt to see what time home, ( not like her) got home still a bit off so asked " are you ok?" I slept with her sister in her dream the night before and apparently had a great time ..... 😮😊
Had the same thing. She softened/changed subject when I tried to figure out if she was passed because I'd slept with someone or I'd slept with someone she fancied. Curious 🤔🤣
An ex-partner once woke me up thrashing around having a nightmare about drowning. I didn't know what the nightmare was about. I hugged him and he freaked out completely. It woke him up and he refused to look at me, or talk to me, and stormed out to the balcony for a while. Later, I eventually was able to encourage him to explain what happened. He thought I was an octopus trying to suffocate him. He never forgave me for being an octopus.
True story.. I was a Union Rep a few decades ago and I’d had a row with the management and so I contacted the local Newspaper. I told them I wanted a piece to feature in the paper. The next issue had the following… “ The “…..” Union Rep reports the following. Half of the managers are crooks” As you can imagine, I was ‘hauled’ to the bosses who wanted to sack me. I said “I was misquoted, you have to give me a chance to put things right” They reluctantly agreed and I went straight to the newspaper. And in the next issue, a piece featured… “Apologies: In last week’s issue, there was a feature from the “…..” Union Rep which was incorrect. It should have read “Half of the managers are NOT CROOKS.” 😂👍
Sounds as likely as one of Joe Biden's "true stories". Swear to God, not a joke, not kidding. This is a straight copy of an old urban legend that a politician was supposed to have said about Tory MPs.
My mum used to watch films, (fiction) with horrendous cruelty to people, war films etc, stony faced. However if any animals were hurt, even just their feelings, she would go nuts😂
Can you imagine if they closed the door to complaints and gave the complainers no platform to voice their sad minority opinion. Imagine if they got their own way, what a sad boring life we would all have
What were they complaining about? Is that offensive to dogs or something? But it's a joke about HIS dog, not dogs in general. I have two theories about why people complained: 1. the joke implies that dogs hate cats, which is a myth. But you know what, chickens don't normally cross the road, animals don't talk, and people don't go to the doctor because they feel like a pack of cards. Jokes aren't supposed to be realistic. 2. some people were genuinely torn up by this whole thing and thought it was truly awful that a cat had the spend a few hours in a bin. They felt it was akin to a natural disaster where thousands of people are killed or something and therefore just didn't think you should joke about it.
The" One Show" is so wishy washy , BBC biased and bland, er indoors puts it on,and i can only stand it for 3- 5 minutes, before i feel like throwing up in my own mouth.....😮
My ex told me every dream she had night after night and one night I told her, "listen up Martin Luther King and listen well. I had a dream last night where you were able to keep your dreams to yourself".
Considering we’re supposed to be a country of animal lovers, just look at how many animals were abandoned or abused in the last few months! As for this joke, why complain?? They should grow up!
That were great 😆 May be he needs disclaimers in the future, "please be aware, I am a comedian and may say things that do not align with my actual feelings or thoughts..ya bored twats."
No kidding, people get a rush off of wrecking things. Women especially. No reason, just control. "I'm going mountain biking with the guys". .."But, I need you to stay home today to do this and that" So you stay....and sit in silence for 8 hours watching her watch TV. There was nothing to do. She just wanted to wreck your day to maintain control. "I really like apples".... "So you're saying you hate bananas". Control.
My African friends, growing up in a few different African countries, tell me that babies, toddlers and young children are cuddled, and their behaviour is excused because they are all considered as babies. Then when they are 4 - 6 years old, babyhood is suddenly over, and they have to start doing chores, discipline is strict, and they are considered embarrassingly too old for cuddles. 😢
Considering we’re supposed to be a country of animal lovers, just look at how many animals were abandoned or abused in the last few months! As for this joke, why complain?? They should grow up!
147? Fair play... That's a perfect break...
155!
@@tantona9315 hahaha. very rare to see one of those
C'mon Ronnie
Thats brilliant
Speaking as a cat lover, owner and long time volunteer with a cat rescue, I think that joke is hilarious.
Speaking as a person that finds other people's cats staggeringly annoying, I also found the joke hilarious!
Speaking as a person who finds other people's cats annoying, but not mine, I find this hilarious.
Speaking as someone who hates wheelie bins, I find this hilarious.
Jason will be relieved I'm sure.
I can’t get the image out of my head of his dog pointing at the screen with his paw and laughing.
CJ Langenhoven once said, in Parliament, that half the members were donkeys, and was made to apologise. In his apology he said that he was sorry, and that half of the members are not donkeys.
Dennis Skinner did the same in the UK (albeit much later) referring to half the Tories as crooks
@@MrCoyneyboythere's no record of him ever saying that in Hansard. It's an urban legend, neither CJ Langenhoven or Dennis Skinner are confirmed as saying it.
Dennis Skinner still had plenty of great lines though
@@kevinwrigley2644Never mind who said it or didn't say it. It is a good joke.
I'd have said "I apologise to the 147 viewers who I tricked into believing my dog has access to TH-cam"
The only reasonable response to people who take such tame jokes so seriously, is to not take them seriously. 🤷♂️ 👏
👏🤣 Jason, never apologize for being funny.
He wasn't. It was part of the joke . . .
Irony, right?
Very good. It seems some people are only happy when they complain
My wife argued with me one morning because in a dream she had I had called her an idiot.
Thus confirming your secret thoughts. 😉
My wife blames me for all sorts of things she has dreamt I've said or done.
Any comments regarding the content on the stage, or just narcissistic jawing about... your own self??? Extremely disrespectful to Jason Manford, the reason viewers are here. If we wanted to know about you and yours, we would swing by your channels. Again, extremely disrespectful and self serving.
Tf are you talking about? Have you had a bad day or something@@datgrrl5698
Self-fulfilling prophecy
In trouble for something the misses dreamed about..... yep. Happens to me all the time!
I once got punched and the silent treatment for a whole day and she wouldn't even tell me what I did in HER dream. Guess she thought it would give me ideas lol.
This happens, but best retort is to make up something she did in your dream... although that will somehow backfire and be your fault as well
I think depriving his dog of Yooch ube ie the most agregious thing anyone has done to an animal like ever. Having said that. My cat was pleased at the revenge.
Outstanding work 👏🏾👏🏾
I love all animals and would’ve had to resist grabbing that woman by the throat if I’d witnessed this.
But c’mon this was a JOKE and a HILARIOUS one at that😂😂🤣🤣
So Jason Manford remains as one of my favourite comedians👍
my dog would have started plotting. the cat terrorized him for 15 years.
Then why didn't you do something about it? Bad owners are everywhere 🤦♂️
@Not_An_EV you must be one of those hate posters that think they're clever. only exist to irritate, never really contributing anything to a conversation. cancel your internet. get a flip phone without internet.
People are far too sensitive these days. I'm glad he didn't apologise properly ! That was the perfect response to their nonsense 🤣
I don’t call it sensitivity. It’s pure self-righteousness. And it drives me insane.
I called a co worker stupid, in jest! Boss heard and told me to apologise.....so I said, cris. I'm sorry your stupid! We all laught and boss left embarrest😂
These people have been around since the BBC has been formed.
I'm a cat person but I found that funny.
Some jokes I can understand being told to apologise for but that one isn't one.
Whoever complained need to get a life
If they had a life, they wouldn't be watching The One Show.
@@David-gr8rh Not you, clearly
But now you're here complaining about the people who complained and saying they don't have a life, but you're taking your time to complain about them complaining thus meaning you must also not have a life. 😂
@@Not_An_EV I'm talking about the people who wrote into the BBC to complain. I'm certainly not complaining, it doesn't affect me. I'm just stating my opinion. I can't really see how you could interpret my comment as a 'complaint', I guess you just wanted to look clever. You failed.
That phone thing is my mum all over.
3:25 That is so, so true.
My guess is 146 people hadnt seen the joke and were told to complain about man mocking the cat cruelty.
Great stuff! Laughed the whole way through.
Twice, years apart, my wife yelled at me because there was too much space between my big toe and the adjacent one. I’m not making this up.
😂😂😂 You better sort that out
Think Jason is great. Makes me laugh out loud every time.
147 people didnt understand the joke! Edit. 850 wanted to get their face on the telly
Age gap wise… I’m twelve years older than my second wife (first marriage just didn’t work out)
My dad and my mums age gap was about 18yrs (she was also his second wife)
A family friend started lying about her age, after one visit my dad turned to my mum and said “don’t you dare knock a few years off your age at any time, we may have been married for twenty years, but I’d still get in a helluva lot of trouble!”
My missus didn't say goodbye to me when left for work and didn't ring or txt to see what time home, ( not like her) got home still a bit off so asked " are you ok?" I slept with her sister in her dream the night before and apparently had a great time ..... 😮😊
That's because your sister isn't so uptight!
Had the same thing.
She softened/changed subject when I tried to figure out if she was passed because I'd slept with someone or I'd slept with someone she fancied.
Curious 🤔🤣
_Bloody hilarious!_
Genuinely thought your thumbnail was a drawn back-view of a woman with black hair
...and it is not!
I love this man so much, almost as much as cats ironically & he can do no wrong for me ❤
An ex-partner once woke me up thrashing around having a nightmare about drowning. I didn't know what the nightmare was about. I hugged him and he freaked out completely. It woke him up and he refused to look at me, or talk to me, and stormed out to the balcony for a while. Later, I eventually was able to encourage him to explain what happened. He thought I was an octopus trying to suffocate him. He never forgave me for being an octopus.
should have shown him OCTOPUSSY
what the film
why what did you think i meant
some people
Sounds like something an octopus would say
How could you?? Octopuses like you are the worst 😑
"Some people were angry 'cops she put it in the wrong bin"
She should have put it in the recycling bin. Always recycle your cats :-)
And now the joke continues hahahaha
Never mentioned the parrot 🦜
So 0.003% of viewers complained? Great result!
Four more years and you get a cuddle. bwahahahahahahah
love it.
Very funny , having watched Peter Kay for many years I can see he's sneaked a few same mannerisms in , still he's still funny.
True story..
I was a Union Rep a few decades ago and I’d had a row with the management and so I contacted the local Newspaper.
I told them I wanted a piece to feature in the paper.
The next issue had the following…
“ The “…..” Union Rep reports the following.
Half of the managers are crooks”
As you can imagine, I was ‘hauled’ to the bosses who wanted to sack me.
I said “I was misquoted, you have to give me a chance to put things right”
They reluctantly agreed and I went straight to the newspaper.
And in the next issue, a piece featured…
“Apologies: In last week’s issue, there was a feature from the “…..” Union Rep which was incorrect.
It should have read “Half of the managers are NOT CROOKS.” 😂👍
True story hey? like the story above it? hmmmm
@@jamiew1664
I know it’s true
You’re entitled to your opinion, but I know it’s true.
Today on "that didn't happen"
Sounds as likely as one of Joe Biden's "true stories". Swear to God, not a joke, not kidding. This is a straight copy of an old urban legend that a politician was supposed to have said about Tory MPs.
Effing brilliant! :)
Those complaints probably ALL came from my crazy cat lady neighbour..... On behalf of all her cat's
My mum used to watch films, (fiction) with horrendous cruelty to people, war films etc, stony faced. However if any animals were hurt, even just their feelings, she would go nuts😂
Well done. 😂😂😂😂
There’s thick people everywhere
Your dad's funny
Can you imagine if they closed the door to complaints and gave the complainers no platform to voice their sad minority opinion. Imagine if they got their own way, what a sad boring life we would all have
What were they complaining about? Is that offensive to dogs or something? But it's a joke about HIS dog, not dogs in general.
I have two theories about why people complained:
1. the joke implies that dogs hate cats, which is a myth.
But you know what, chickens don't normally cross the road, animals don't talk, and people don't go to the doctor because they feel like a pack of cards. Jokes aren't supposed to be realistic.
2. some people were genuinely torn up by this whole thing and thought it was truly awful that a cat had the spend a few hours in a bin.
They felt it was akin to a natural disaster where thousands of people are killed or something and therefore just didn't think you should joke about it.
Never apologise never explain
When will people get a sense of humour. I'm an animal lover but I found it hilarious.
147 sad people 😂
The" One Show" is so wishy washy , BBC biased and bland, er indoors puts it on,and i can only stand it for 3- 5 minutes, before i feel like throwing up in my own mouth.....😮
Where else would you be throwing up, in somebody elses mouth??? Always found that a wierd expression.
@@catherinewilliams3850 I have thrown up in some one else's mouth. Strangely they werent impressed. So I stick to my own now. 😁
@@ianhill4585 Yikes!
@@catherinewilliams3850 I know ---- Who knew!?........😉
I think kids wake up early because their parents put them to bed early.
His mum probably put her phone in her handbag.
Isn't he presenting This Morning now?
This is how Kyle Gass must feel…
If you say sorry, you are saying it was not a joke, which surely makes it worse.
So many folks finding new and exciting ways to get offended these days.
My ex told me every dream she had night after night and one night I told her, "listen up Martin Luther King and listen well. I had a dream last night where you were able to keep your dreams to yourself".
No wonder she is your ex.
Considering we’re supposed to be a country of animal lovers, just look at how many animals were abandoned or abused in the last few months!
As for this joke, why complain??
They should grow up!
What other spelling is there of "warrant"?
Who is Jason Manford?
Effortless comedy. No Swearing. When your good at your job, it shows.
Who are these bellends that complain
Yeah because apparently comedy these days is all about offending people and doubling down for clout.
Well done.
Was the complaint that he wasn't funny?!
Slaughter sentient animals just for taste buds and offended by a joke 🤷🏽♂️
I love cats,,,, but this is a joke, message to the 147 unbritish complainers ITS A JOKE😎
If you dont like the jokes dont watch it .
5 mins I wont get back... Jeez. ZZZZzzzz
I have a cat and she's my world 🌎 but I found this funny it's a joke never take a joke seriously live a little
Well if your kids are waking up too early, maybe they're going to bed to early?😁Waits for the angry mob with no sense of humour🤣
That were great 😆 May be he needs disclaimers in the future, "please be aware, I am a comedian and may say things that do not align with my actual feelings or thoughts..ya bored twats."
Never ashamed but always offended typical woke brigade..
Didn't he cheat on his wife after she had twins 😮
Wow.... That's a double wammy.
I don't find him funny but if you don't like a joke, bloody move on!!
Mmmm. Well this guy has always thought he was funny and a few people that are not so bright also think he is funny.
I'm surprised he could tell a joke, wa r.
Just goes to show we are a nation of dog lovers when more complain about the dog joke.
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
2:13 NOT a tell tale sign of coke taking AT ALL !!
Manford is a W⚓️
Seems to be a lot of Gen Z'ers in the comments again
Manford is a bell wipe.
First time I've seen Jason stand up. Not really amused. Good singer and presenter though. Each to their own.
No kidding, people get a rush off of wrecking things. Women especially. No reason, just control. "I'm going mountain biking with the guys". .."But, I need you to stay home today to do this and that" So you stay....and sit in silence for 8 hours watching her watch TV. There was nothing to do. She just wanted to wreck your day to maintain control. "I really like apples".... "So you're saying you hate bananas". Control.
Lame stand up.
is this guy a stand up comedian, he's in the wrong business if he is
I think we found another one of the 147 complainers.
Why would you publicly announce not having a sense of humour, and why would you think it's a flex? 😂
I've never thought Jason Manfield was very funny
Then why did you watch?😂
Just as well you're watching Jason Manford then.
Flasher.
My African friends, growing up in a few different African countries, tell me that babies, toddlers and young children are cuddled, and their behaviour is excused because they are all considered as babies. Then when they are 4 - 6 years old, babyhood is suddenly over, and they have to start doing chores, discipline is strict, and they are considered embarrassingly too old for cuddles. 😢
Is he gay?
Cancer is funnier than Jason Manford
Considering we’re supposed to be a country of animal lovers, just look at how many animals were abandoned or abused in the last few months!
As for this joke, why complain??
They should grow up!