Story complaining about having a wedding on a Sunday. She keeps calling it a ‘destination wedding’ but the venue is literally an hour away from where they all live. She’s a gaping AH
Personally I feel it becomes a "destination" when you need to drive 5+ hours, or need a plane. Anything less than that, it's just a long travel, I mean people travel for two hours to go to a specific mall right?
@@kaziered I don't think it counts as a destination wedding if the people who are getting married LIVE in that area and its just a long ride for some guests. It only counts if the wedding couple also have to travel a long way to their venue for it to be a destination wedding. Traveling 2 hours to a specific mall could also be driving to the nearest mall in the area.
I'm not understanding what Op was expecting from her when they called to throw a fit. Did they expect her to move the date? Beg for their forgiveness and for their attendance?? If you can't go, just don't go and move on. She was so polite on the phone despite not needing to be so and Op took that as "selfishly not caring about her guests."
So dad has a gf who is turning 40. How old is dad? Never under estimate the power of love and lust. He wants to treat her like a princess that is his choice.
OP never said what day father did show up. Was it the following day? Did OP get two days of “fawning grandparents” and is still complaining. Guarantee the baby didn’t give a damn. The one commenter is right. OP is jealous and can’t stand dad has someone important in his life. Someone I’m sure he hopes he can spend his life with so he’s not lonely waiting on the whims of his entitled daughter to talk to him. The princess comment proves just how jealous the daughter is.
@@jpbaley2016 I can see this side but at the same time I could see op's. Imagine telling your dad how important it was for him to meet your child and his response is, sorry, it's not a good day. The girlfriend is a symptom of the issue, dad is choosing to disregard op's feelings and that hurts. Op needs to take a hard look at who her dad is, not who she wishes he was, and accept that he's not the dad she wishes he was.
@@Sandyyyyyyyyyy absolutely. Her father is her father, a completely separate entity from her with his own goals and priorities. His priorities may not line up with hers and she just has to accept that.
Wife in the second story was angry at husband for publically humiliating her by exposing that the man in the photo wasn't him, but gave no thought to how she may have been humilating him with the incestuous implications the context she was providing could have.
Exactly. My heart bleeds for that poor kid, too. When he hits his teens, and his and OP invite him to go on a vacation, it will be matter of time, before he blows them off, to party with his friends, go one late-night sprees with his girlfriend, and ends up doing something that will get him in trouble.⚠️
The niece is right if she attended she would probably have negative comments on the decor, the food, and the dress would probably be too revealing. let her judgy ass stay home a
First story: OP's husband is beyond manipulative! I got seriously creepy vibes from this story. If somebody pulled that kind of stunt on me, I'd run for the hills! Who on earth tries to order their spouse to invade his ex's vacation like that? He must see himself as a puppet master controlling everybody in his life and woe unto those who defy him.
His behaviour is very weird. What would he expect OP to do when she got there? Stalk his ex-wife with the stepson in toe and report back with everything she's seen the ex-wife and her husband do? It sounds way too bizarre. At some point OP goes into her bag and pulls out some comically large binoculars. 😄 I could just imagine the kid asking his dad if they can have fun on vacation, but his dad says, "Following mommy is fun, it's like a game. Keep doing that".
I'm sorry if my father refused to come see his granddaughter after she was born all because of a woman, I would have been hurt and pissed. I'm happy to know my father would have dropped anyone he was seeing to see his new born granddaughter. My father was one of the first couple people to hold my daughter when she was born
The people siding with the dad surprised me. There are certain moments that will be cherished for a lifetime. He, and the gf, could have been part of a special day. In most cases, the chances of remembering an average 40th birthday are very slim. The moments you described are irreplaceable. Thanks for sharing your beautiful experience.
@@parkersnowe Depends. But in all reality for the first couple of months, you shouldn't let a lot of people, including grandparents, around the newborn. Especially now with everything going around. And I am a grandma of 4 beautiful babies, one was born a few weeks ago.
I had to laugh (harder than I expected) at the wedding story, the poor auntie tried so hard to be right in the way she wrote out the story…. It DID not work auntie idiot…lol.
Thank you my neice got married this past February and it was on the a Sunday. The people that were able to stay late did and the one's that had to leave early did. Everyone left and of course the couple party and everyone had a great time. Either go or don't plan and simply.
Last story: While dad is with the girlfriend OP shouldn't invite him to her place. On the babies 1st birthday, don't invite him to the birthday party. When he wants to know where his invite is just tell him that surely he has to spend that day with his girlfriend. Eventually he will hopefully realize he put his girlfriend before and over his own grandchild. He's not a grandpa.
It didn't say how old OP or the dad were, but I'm going to hazard a guess that dad's in his mid 50s or 60, so ten year minimum age gap. And she's high maintenance. Dad's falling all over himself for his little trophy while 3/4 of the grandparents had their priorities straight. Yeah, that's kind of distasteful. Well, he's shown where his loyalties are, so OP shouldn't bother to invite him to any of the child's b-day's while she's around. For the counter-arguments, yes, I know babies don't have an immediate expiration date as far as visits, but 20 minutes of visiting would've saved a lot of animosity.
My dad was at the hospital the day after my daughter was born. She came into the world at night and he was in the waiting room the whole time. It ended up an emergency c-section so I was in the recovery room for hours after. He did go to the nursery to see her and check on her health, though. Bright and early the next morning, he was there and the nurse let him bring her to me. He was a wonderful grandfather.
Good grief, lady! I think your niece got the picture. You’re mad that she had a destination wedding on a Sunday. We get it. I don’t know what she thought to accomplish by berating her about it.
"Hey boss, can I take time off so the big baby that is my husband can have his petty revenge against his ex-wife that he is clearly not over?" Wonder how _that_ would go...
Wedding: I never heard somebody care so much about a wedding they weren't going to. Missed Birth: I won't say missing the granddaughter's birth is unforgivable, but I will say if he informed Emma and she told him not to go, that's a bit different. Plus it kinda sounds like both before and after that, the daughter and granddaughter were not a priority, which is the bigger issue. At 40 I would expect Emma to know how important family is. The irony being she felt her 40th birthday was more important than someone's first. "She won't remember it anyway." "Don't worry, we'll be sure to tell her how crappy you were."
Last story: giving birth can be fatal. I don’t understand a parent who doesn’t understand that and doesn’t want to be there for their own child to support them. It’s isn’t about “seeing” the grand-baby. It is about your daughter possibly becoming deceased and being there to help her husband make life or death decisions. The fact that the Grandpa didn’t care about his own daughter’s well-being is despicable.
Or the baby's. So know what could've happened if there had been complications during birth. It could've potentially been his last chance to see either of them.
The comments saying she was jealous pissed me off, like If I'm having a child I expect my parents to be there unless they are sick. Even my siblings would come to meet my kid because we care about each other. The father not even spending one hour with his newborn grandchildren doesn't need the title of grandfather
Considering my grandad didn't think women still died during pregnancy and birth means lots of people have no F'ing clue. 808 women died every day in 2017 according to the WHO.
When my wife gave birth to our daughter there was literally nobody from the family in the dame state. My folks, brother (and his family) and her mother were all 150 miles away at closest. Each and every one of them saw our daughter within 4 hours. Slowly and only when my wife said it was ok.
Last story: OP's dad could have popped in for an hour, but it's not the end of the world he didn't get to see his grandchild directly after birth. So many people have to fight their families to get the needed rest directly after the birth, I don't really see why it's such a big deal.
The wife publicly humiliated her husband to lash out at his mother, by suggesting online that he had a romantic dance with his own mother at his own wedding. Correcting her kindly online was a lot nicer that he could’ve done.
Story 1: ops partner is not over his ex and he is being a controlling psychopath As for the last name story, my dad took my mothers last name (I wish he hadnt) despite us being Scandinavian and it being completely against "the norm" and I have a traditional Scandinavian last name based on tradition. My siblings, not Scandinavian, also have my mums last name. It doesnt make us any less family (unfortunately)
Or he hates her just enough for whatever reason to stalk her and make her life hell. He needs a professional evaluation, because that shit will destroy you.
I wonder if any comments on the wedding story called OP entitled. Seriously, she thinks she has ANY business going at the bride like that after hearing her explanation. She seriously thinks her son shouldn’t go because she doesn’t approve of the wedding date? What is wrong with that woman? If you can’t go, don’t go. Apologize, send a gift, and shut the heck up.
OP needs to revisit why he’s NC with his mom. He needs to remember if he witnessed the events his wife is talking about or if he just took her word for it. She has shown she will lie just to get sympathy even dragging innocent people. Reddit is notorious for trying to fault MILs and don’t think for a second that DIL is just as bad especially since DIL is usually the one retelling and OPs have shown in multiple retelling to omit info that makes them look bad or makes MIL justified in hating her.
Re story 1-- My ex would do the same kind of thing --- book travels with the kids at the last minute then get angry cuz I "wouldn't" take off work for family time.
Wedding date story - Op is stupid, the bride and groom don't have to get married on a weekend if they don't want to. I got married on a Friday just because it was the day the date I wanted fell on that year.
The one story about the Sunday wedding you can tell she sees her niece as a little child and shouldn't be talking back to adults even on her own wedding day
I knew a man named Pickelheimer who married a woman with a simple Anglo-Saxon last name. Instead of her become Mrs. Pickelheimer he became Mr. Wife's Name. The guy had been bullied about Pickelheimer and he hated the name. His parents were upset with him and he told them to kick rocks, he was glad he wasn't a Pickelheimer any more. If they had a problem with that it was their problem, not his.
My in laws came& stayed locally for a few days hoping to see our newborn- their only grandchild. But they birth was delayed and the child arrived the night before they left. They were invited to come to the hospital next morning but father in law refused because he had his dog with them and the dog would get fretful if they delayed the drive home. So there's worse reasons to not show up but ops dad is still the ah!!!
What is funny is if many of us did a genealogy search, we'd likely find our currently treasured last name had been changed several generations ago from what it had been. And occasionally multiple times.
Seriously, OP1 should leave her husband and then testify for the ex in the custody hearings, assuming that she’s any better. That man is toxic to the point of being psycho, and there’s no way he’s capable of being a good husband to OP either.
I got married in Thursday afternoon (civil ceremony, they only do that during office hours). Parents and siblings were there. All fine. Most of folks who pick Sundays or childfree wedding understand if someone cannot attend because specifics. And this wasn't even "destination" wedding, it was two hour ride and you can fully not drink, drive back and go work the next day. My brother's wedding ended at 10pm so everyone had time to clean the place (there was no drinking or dancing due bride's religious background... Or more like needing to put up a show for her religious grandma)
6:41 “Having a wedding weekend on Sunday?!” How inconvenient, why can’t the bride and groom have it on the weekend? Because not only do people work on weekends but OP might have plans
Last story: If I had a relationship with my dad and he did what OP's dad did, I would never let him see my baby because clearly the girlfriend is much more importiant.
Why is it so important that the Dad should cancel plans he had made for his significant other’s birthday just so he could see the baby the day she was born? The baby isn’t going anywhere and it sounds like he made time to go see them still. Genuinely asking here because I don’t get how he is an AH because he kept a promise to his girlfriend. The guy had probably been planning this for a while and had no idea the baby would be born on the same day
@@Cnichal you’re right that if it continues to happen then the dad needs to get his priorities straight. In this instance however I support him keeping his word to his significant other
@@Cnichal I disagree with cutting out a loving grandparent who wants to be there just because he couldn’t make it one time. People on Reddit are so quick to call for no contact over the most minor and petty shit imaginable
@@LovestarVGC Part of the issue I believe is he could of brought the girlfriend but instead he didn't even take a small amount of time to be with his family he chose his girlfriend saying she was more important her needs were more important and only she deserved a full day when his own daughter was having his grandchild. He specifically said to her that she was not as important as someone that his daughter he had known their whole lives was less important than someone he knew for less then a year and had no promise of a future with. And the OP simply said she was disappointed he chose her over his family and felt difference between them now and he got upset. Any person who expected to have a parent there for an important day just to be told they weren't as important as his girlfriend would probably start feeling different about them. He did not even ask when he said she'd be alone without him if he could bring her he just said no I wont come. He had other options and just because it was girlfriends birthday does not mean he could not spare some time in that 24 hours. OP is a little over the top because she is hurt but in this instance I can understand that as she will never have this babys first moments back for him to see. If he and his girlfriend break up he will never have that moment with his grandchild back. I think that's why its such an issue.
Last Story) Hell Yeah I'll be pissed if my father didn't show to this important life changing day. That girlfriend been alive for 40yrs my baby just got here. You better show up. NTA.
Yeah, they’re acting like someone’s birthday is more important than the birth of a newborn child. They could do whatever they want but people at that age really don’t care for birthdays that much anymore and thinks it’s less significance. I mean I’m a guy in his 30s and I don’t make a big deal over my birthday anymore, but that’s just me.
@@Symphonia30 Yeah, 31 - 49 are irrelevant in terms of milestones or importance, beyond the obvious, and once you hit 50 it's the decade years are important milestones.
The girlfriend vs. new baby story. Different families do this different ways. In mine, you DON’T crowd around in the hospital on THE DAY because Mom is going to be sweaty, stinky and exhausted, hubby is going to be overwrought, and baby is probably going to need sleep (that birthing process was hard on the baby too). So you go the next day, or the first day baby comes home, or something like that. That said, we also don’t make a whole day of it for birthdays, either. So many divorces in my family, you end up celebrating on different days, and it’s usually just a dinner or breakfast or something. If something else is going on the same day we make it work. We don’t turn stuff like this into earth-shattering drama. But then most of the folks in my family (except my sister) seriously loathe big fussy events in general.
3rd story: Since when have "destination" weddings meant simply away from your current city? I don't think I've been to a single wedding in the hometown city of the couple getting married. This isn't a comment on anything else, I'm just surprised at that choice of wording.
People excusing the father in the last story are emotionless robots. Giving birth IS a big deal, REGARDLESS of who is being born, and it's literally a part of the human species' survival to be surrounded by family (blood or otherwise) for emotional and practical support. People need to stop devaluing human life because "hurr there's 8 billion of us, who cares!!!" Human life means something because no matter how many humans there will be, there will only ever be one of you. And the day you enter the world through birth is a massive life-altering experience that comes with some risks. Not coming in to even hold the baby and check on mom for just an hour or so on a 24 hour day is not just a snub, it's disgraceful and shameful. Grampa will pick his gf over his family every time no matter the consequence, and I hope OP learns that and keeps it LC.
I dont know. I do think it weird that OP'S dad didn't bother to do a quick visit with his daughter and grandbaby. Maybe he could have taken his gf to come too. Then dad and gf could have done fun birthday things together. I can understand OP's feeling to a point but OP's dad should be treating his gf like a queen if he truly loves her. Doing things on her bday isnt something strange.
First story you're not in the wrong here however this is one of those situations where your stepson is most likely going to be the sacrificial lamb and his upbringing. Think about it his parents hate each other's guts his mother basically dumps him on his father when he is not supposed to have time with him and then his father schedules a vacation at the same hotel that she's at with her new husband it seems to me like this man is trying to one of her and I want to know what was the cause of the divorce to begin with. Was there infidelity from his part was there infidelity from her part was there abuse from both parts and they didn't know how to deal with it. Nobody is this messed up in a marriage and divorce unless one just wants to control and the other one doesn't. You're not in the wrong here but if I were you I would seriously recommend individual therapy for your husband couples counseling for you and your husband and get your husband his ex-wife her new husband and you together and family therapy because they're still unresolved issues between the two of them and you either need to come to a decision to wear either you're going to be the one stable parental figure in this Boy's Life or you need to cut and run because both of them clearly don't give a damn about their son to begin with
A destination wedding is to another country, or the other side of the country....not an hour away😂 And then, why does the OP have to stay late? They could go to the ceremony, and then leave, they could even stay at the party for an hour or 2 a d then leave and be home by 9pm...and that with an afternoon wedding, like 5pm-ish in mind. Can get back home, shower and sleep just in time to have a full night sleep and wake up fresh in the morning....😂😂😂😂 That is just such a stupid excuse😂
love the idea that the dad from the last story was right to celebrate a milestone birthday for his gf but op was entitled to expect her father to celebrate a milestone literal birthday for his grandchild. the cognitive dissonance is rife!
The last comment on the last story is so true 😂 . Because your partner is a top priority for you when you’re dating . Kids , grandkids all come after once they are grown .
First story, the husband is using the son as a weapon against his wife and ex wife, saying that the son will hate OP because she isn't taking him on vacation and trying to show off that he is a "better parent" then his ex. It doesn't sound that that ex's new husband doesn't like the son maybe he, like op said, wanted a romantic getaway. The ops husband is acting like a jealous a-hole who for some strange reason is obsessed with his ex wife, kinda makes me think he still likes her.
The last story- WTF!! It is the birth of his granddaughter he abd missed it for his girlfriends birthday, f-up no matter what his grandfather card is revoked. I know for a freaking fact that the people say OP is in the wrong have zero content with their family.
If the girlfriend isn't a narcissist then she would understand him missing her birthday for the birth of his grandchild, might even want to be there with him.
Lol I got married on a Tuesday with only 30 people invited due to it being a special date. We had a huge reception 2 weeks later for the whole family. No one complained, at least to my face.
1. Personally I would take advantage of a paid for vacation with extra perks on hos dime, including maybe he son taking a friend, so he is entertained. I would also take that time to consider if I want to stay married, because he is not over his ex. Just avoid the wife during the trip so the boy doesn't see her.
Last story, do people forget that people can die in childbirth? The whole you're not giving birth to Jesus he can meet the baby anytime. Like seriously? This is a huge milestone in a person's life. It is a painful and scary thing to do. Yes, you do get a baby at the end but before that baby is hell. And if being there for a baby's birth isn't important why do so many families around the world go to the hospital to meet the baby? Why did so many people get upset that Covid prevented them from doing so.
My brother and his wife got married on a Sunday and it wasn't a Destination wedding but she had family flying in from another country. Everyone was just happy to be there.
Last story OP you are NOT TAH! Your dad decided that a grown ass woman of 40 years needed to be supported during her birthday! Why in the name of all things holy? Good God she is not having a milestone birthday-she is only 40 but if she needs all his attention she is acting like a 4 year old not a 40 year old! I went no contact with my mom for pulling this when my youngest was born except it wasn't her bf s birthday but he was tired and didn't want to come so she didn't want to leave him alone so I made sure they were left alone for the rest of her life!
He literally chose to not celebrate a milestone in his daughters and granddaughter lives so he could celebrate his girlfriend instead. This wasn’t his friend giving birth, it was his daughter. Woman die giving birth. The babies don’t always make it either. This is an event most people consider more important then a 40th birthday. I would seriously dump a man for putting my birthday over the birth of their grandchild. I don’t like what it says about his priorities.
1st story... According to the Bible.....Let your yes be yes and your No be NO. Anything less than that is sin. Do not do what your husband is asking. You would be the one attacked for being there on their honeymoon. Listen to your gut instinct.
Story 1: the husband clearly shows why his ex dumped him. And why OP may need to do the same soon. If it was only the vacation and the money, you can put on his "fued" with his ex, but the moment be went and told the kid how there is no vacation because of OP is when he lost any excuse.
how do ppl think a literal BIRTH / MAJOR MEDICAL EVENT is more important than a gf's bday? are they fucking serious? they could attend the birth then go out for dinner or whatever for her own celebration. a serious medical evena nd welcoming your GRANDCHILD into the world is way more important. if the gf cant see that she'd fucked up too.
The first story, he's still acting like a jilted lover, why should this matter to him so much? If I were his current wife I would be hurt and insulted over this. So he's going to spend all that time and money and drag his son into the mix to put it in her face? Yikes, don't ever piss off that dude, who knows what lengths he'll go through to put a pie in your face! I feel sorry for the innocent child in all of this that isn't loved enough without a parent taking them in any time any day or any hour without a melt down of being stuck with a kid. I know it's more about her than his son, but his son won't look at it like that. I pray for that child, he deserves better and so does his current wife.
Last story, newborn granddaughter. OP's father is a massive, cruel, selfish, inconsiderate and dismissive AH!!! That he put a girlfriend of less than a year over the birth of his granddaughter is just simply beyond my comprehension. I'm honestly sitting here in a loss for what to say or how to explain everything I'm feeling. When I had my first child my mom and dad were both in the hospital. When I was in recovery with my husband and with the baby my mother stood in the door my dad behind her. My mom of all the foolish questions asked me if now that I held my daughter if I remembered the pain. I asked her, "Are you kidding me"? She laughed and Dad told her to shush. The next day apparently my dad called the hospital Nursery to find out what time was feeding time. A nurse brought my daughter to me and right on her heels was my dad. He sat there and watched me nurse her and then asked if he could hold her? When I held her out to him he took her reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box, in that box was the most beautiful pair of pierced earrings. He sat back down and held her and crooned while he himself rocked back and forth. Every chance he got he would hold her and talk to her. My mom would really have to get after him so she could have a turn. So no I cannot understand OP's father not wanting to be there for his granddaughter's birth.
OP should leave before the day they are supposed to arrive/hubby is supposed to leave, with phone switched off. This would leave hubby in the position of either cancelling the trip or calling his relatives if not both. Why should she be the one who carries bad news.
I feel bad for the kid both of his parents are AH. His mom just throws him away to have fun with her new plaything because plaything doesn't want him there and the dad wants to use him as a pawn.
That last comment in the birth grandchild story has a bunch of screws in his head. That is going to be a recurring theme throughout the lives of the granddaughter and the father’s girlfriend sharing the same birthday. I mean how is the birthday of someone of 40 years more special than the birth of a newborn child? Oh yeah, it isn’t. Honestly they sound entitled. And people at that age really don’t make a big deal over birthdays anymore, I certainly don’t and I’m a guy in his 30s.
I respectfully disagree. I think the father was right to keep the plans he had made for his girlfriend’s birthday. Showing up to see the baby the day it was born is not more important than keeping promises you have made to a significant other. The baby isn’t going anywhere so the dad can see his granddaughter the next day, the world isn’t going to end
Yeah, I think this is one of those situations where you aren't going to win as the new parent. Your Dad is more interested in his girlfriend than the health and welfare of his child and grandchild. I don't even want to think about the yearly contest between girlfriend and grandchild over the coming years if they stay together. Just invite him to birthday parties and never expect him to come, I guess. He won't be the go to in case of an emergency or issue.
@@LovestarVGC well that’s gonna be awkward in the future of the father’s girlfriend sharing the same birthday as the granddaughter. And there’s no doubt where his priorities gonna lie with this.
@@LovestarVGC The same can be said about the girlfriend. Also, the guy's daughter or granddaughter could have had a complication that could have killed either one. I turned 40 this year and if I was dating a guy who's daughter was having his first grandchild, I would ask if she wants him there, even if it's my birthday. If she did, I would tell him to get his a$$ there. There are literally dozens of milestone birthdays that I can skip one for the birth of a new life. I mean there are 1, 5, 10, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100+. Missing one of those isn't going to kill anyone. A baby is only born once while a birthday is every year. The only fun thing about turning 40 this year is that I've met more people born in 1982 than any other year since school.
@@Symphonia30 I see it as him keeping his word and following through on plans he had made for a loved one. To me that is more important than seeing a baby at the hospital when it’s born. I feel like OP is being selfish and just doesn’t like Dad’s new GF
My mother drove an hour and a half just to meet my newborn son and check on me for only five minutes after mid night no less. So dad could not take the time it takes to take a bath to meet his new grandchild and make sure his daughter was ok? That is sad. A decent gf would have told dad to go. Says a lot about gf too.
It's almost disgusting how many people are forgetting that giving birth is a medical procedure that is incredibly strainful and stressful like no s*** she wanted to see her dad
I don’t understand some of the people in the video that commented on the last story. Did they not see that OP said 3 months went by and he still didn’t see his grandchild??
Last story: Disagree with the last comments. OP's NTA. She's perfectly right to feel hurt by the fact she and her daughter got snubbed by her father in favor of his girlfriend. She was perfectly right to tell him how that affected her. Honestly, it's fine that his gf is so important to him, but it's not fine that she's more important than OP and her child, seeing as how GF is not dad's wife nor fiance. There probably would have been no issue bringing GF with so he could visit for even a few minutes. Who knows, OP may have even let GF in the room too. Maybe it would have gone well! But now we can't know cuz OP's dad was being such a bonehead.
1st story your husband is crazy. Sometimes couples need alone time. Maybe it would have been nicer if it was on days she wasn't meant to have custody but that's it. This poor child being used like this and dad manipulating him against his own mum. Also poor you being abused for not jeopardising your mum and career. Wow op. Run!!
Story 2. You shouldn't always put your spouse first. Sometimes you are married to the devil without realizing it . I would definitely put the people who raised me before some guy I knew a few years ago unless the parents were toxic
My friends got married on a Tuesday cos it was their 10 year anniversary. My partner and I at the time went butt left at a reasonable hour like 10pm. It's not dramatic if you don't make it dramatic
Story complaining about having a wedding on a Sunday. She keeps calling it a ‘destination wedding’ but the venue is literally an hour away from where they all live. She’s a gaping AH
My mother in law did this. Hubby said change the date. We did. He hasn't lived down that choice, it's been 14years.
My wedding was 3 hours away but it was super small. The 10 or so people all made it.
Personally I feel it becomes a "destination" when you need to drive 5+ hours, or need a plane. Anything less than that, it's just a long travel, I mean people travel for two hours to go to a specific mall right?
It sounds more like op does not want to take a day from work to recover from a wedding they are not even attending
@@kaziered
I don't think it counts as a destination wedding if the people who are getting married LIVE in that area and its just a long ride for some guests. It only counts if the wedding couple also have to travel a long way to their venue for it to be a destination wedding.
Traveling 2 hours to a specific mall could also be driving to the nearest mall in the area.
I'm not understanding what Op was expecting from her when they called to throw a fit. Did they expect her to move the date? Beg for their forgiveness and for their attendance?? If you can't go, just don't go and move on. She was so polite on the phone despite not needing to be so and Op took that as "selfishly not caring about her guests."
They were offended by the Bride's sweetness and understanding-"How Dare she be so nice!"
It’s also not a “destination wedding.”
The story about the dad changing his last name to the fiance so the little step daughter wasn't left out was so wonderful and romantic.
Last story I was waiting for the dad to show up and demand the baby be named after his girlfriend but I think not showing up at all was just as bad
So dad has a gf who is turning 40. How old is dad? Never under estimate the power of love and lust. He wants to treat her like a princess that is his choice.
OP never said what day father did show up. Was it the following day? Did OP get two days of “fawning grandparents” and is still complaining. Guarantee the baby didn’t give a damn. The one commenter is right. OP is jealous and can’t stand dad has someone important in his life. Someone I’m sure he hopes he can spend his life with so he’s not lonely waiting on the whims of his entitled daughter to talk to him. The princess comment proves just how jealous the daughter is.
@@jpbaley2016 I can see this side but at the same time I could see op's. Imagine telling your dad how important it was for him to meet your child and his response is, sorry, it's not a good day. The girlfriend is a symptom of the issue, dad is choosing to disregard op's feelings and that hurts. Op needs to take a hard look at who her dad is, not who she wishes he was, and accept that he's not the dad she wishes he was.
@@Sandyyyyyyyyyy absolutely. Her father is her father, a completely separate entity from her with his own goals and priorities. His priorities may not line up with hers and she just has to accept that.
Wife in the second story was angry at husband for publically humiliating her by exposing that the man in the photo wasn't him, but gave no thought to how she may have been humilating him with the incestuous implications the context she was providing could have.
She wants to "wear the pants" in Everyone's family!
… wait the venue is an hour away? How was that a destination wedding?
Church Karen Logic
That OP was insanely narcissistic! She thinks the wedding is all about herself (the OP). Wow.
She also was mad that her son was going. Um, lady, that's up to him to decide. This was one of the easier YTAs to declare.
1st story: Nta
And that poor child, being used to as Pawn i his parents sick game
Exactly. My heart bleeds for that poor kid, too. When he hits his teens, and his and OP invite him to go on a vacation, it will be matter of time, before he blows them off, to party with his friends, go one late-night sprees with his girlfriend, and ends up doing something that will get him in trouble.⚠️
Third story was so lacking in self awareness, what an entitled over grown toddler to be having a tantrum over someone else's wedding date and location
Omg how selfish can op be
The niece is right if she attended she would probably have negative comments on the decor, the food, and the dress would probably be too revealing. let her judgy ass stay home a
First story: OP's husband is beyond manipulative! I got seriously creepy vibes from this story. If somebody pulled that kind of stunt on me, I'd run for the hills! Who on earth tries to order their spouse to invade his ex's vacation like that? He must see himself as a puppet master controlling everybody in his life and woe unto those who defy him.
I understand why he’s divorced
His behaviour is very weird.
What would he expect OP to do when she got there? Stalk his ex-wife with the stepson in toe and report back with everything she's seen the ex-wife and her husband do? It sounds way too bizarre.
At some point OP goes into her bag and pulls out some comically large binoculars. 😄
I could just imagine the kid asking his dad if they can have fun on vacation, but his dad says, "Following mommy is fun, it's like a game. Keep doing that".
Yeah this man is scary. I’m sort of wondering now how op missed how manipulative and childish he was up until this point?
I'm sorry if my father refused to come see his granddaughter after she was born all because of a woman, I would have been hurt and pissed. I'm happy to know my father would have dropped anyone he was seeing to see his new born granddaughter. My father was one of the first couple people to hold my daughter when she was born
That's a good dad and grandpa
The people siding with the dad surprised me. There are certain moments that will be cherished for a lifetime. He, and the gf, could have been part of a special day. In most cases, the chances of remembering an average 40th birthday are very slim. The moments you described are irreplaceable. Thanks for sharing your beautiful experience.
@@GMAMEC I bet the people siding with the dad is the dad's girlfriend. The birth of a grand is a big deal!
@@parkersnowe Depends. But in all reality for the first couple of months, you shouldn't let a lot of people, including grandparents, around the newborn. Especially now with everything going around. And I am a grandma of 4 beautiful babies, one was born a few weeks ago.
@@GMAMEC I think the last commenter was Emma.
I got married on a Sunday. No one declined because of it or complained.
I had to laugh (harder than I expected) at the wedding story, the poor auntie tried so hard to be right in the way she wrote out the story…. It DID not work auntie idiot…lol.
Thank you my neice got married this past February and it was on the a Sunday. The people that were able to stay late did and the one's that had to leave early did. Everyone left and of course the couple party and everyone had a great time. Either go or don't plan and simply.
Last story: While dad is with the girlfriend OP shouldn't invite him to her place. On the babies 1st birthday, don't invite him to the birthday party. When he wants to know where his invite is just tell him that surely he has to spend that day with his girlfriend. Eventually he will hopefully realize he put his girlfriend before and over his own grandchild. He's not a grandpa.
He doesn't deserve to be there
that's something a lot of the ytas seem to forget, it is setting a precedent that Emma shall always be more important than his kids or grandkids.
It didn't say how old OP or the dad were, but I'm going to hazard a guess that dad's in his mid 50s or 60, so ten year minimum age gap. And she's high maintenance. Dad's falling all over himself for his little trophy while 3/4 of the grandparents had their priorities straight. Yeah, that's kind of distasteful. Well, he's shown where his loyalties are, so OP shouldn't bother to invite him to any of the child's b-day's while she's around. For the counter-arguments, yes, I know babies don't have an immediate expiration date as far as visits, but 20 minutes of visiting would've saved a lot of animosity.
My dad was at the hospital the day after my daughter was born. She came into the world at night and he was in the waiting room the whole time. It ended up an emergency c-section so I was in the recovery room for hours after. He did go to the nursery to see her and check on her health, though. Bright and early the next morning, he was there and the nurse let him bring her to me. He was a wonderful grandfather.
Good grief, lady! I think your niece got the picture. You’re mad that she had a destination wedding on a Sunday. We get it. I don’t know what she thought to accomplish by berating her about it.
Max 3 hrs of driving is scarcely a destination wedding. More like "all day event". Karen OP won't have to worry about future invites though...
"Hey boss, can I take time off so the big baby that is my husband can have his petty revenge against his ex-wife that he is clearly not over?"
Wonder how _that_ would go...
Imagine being that entitled that you think others should plan their wedding date for what is convenient for you. Smh
Wedding: I never heard somebody care so much about a wedding they weren't going to.
Missed Birth: I won't say missing the granddaughter's birth is unforgivable, but I will say if he informed Emma and she told him not to go, that's a bit different. Plus it kinda sounds like both before and after that, the daughter and granddaughter were not a priority, which is the bigger issue. At 40 I would expect Emma to know how important family is. The irony being she felt her 40th birthday was more important than someone's first. "She won't remember it anyway." "Don't worry, we'll be sure to tell her how crappy you were."
Last story: giving birth can be fatal. I don’t understand a parent who doesn’t understand that and doesn’t want to be there for their own child to support them. It’s isn’t about “seeing” the grand-baby. It is about your daughter possibly becoming deceased and being there to help her husband make life or death decisions. The fact that the Grandpa didn’t care about his own daughter’s well-being is despicable.
Or the baby's. So know what could've happened if there had been complications during birth. It could've potentially been his last chance to see either of them.
@@Rukiah1 So true!
The comments saying she was jealous pissed me off, like If I'm having a child I expect my parents to be there unless they are sick. Even my siblings would come to meet my kid because we care about each other. The father not even spending one hour with his newborn grandchildren doesn't need the title of grandfather
Considering my grandad didn't think women still died during pregnancy and birth means lots of people have no F'ing clue. 808 women died every day in 2017 according to the WHO.
@@okbugatti6481 so true!
When my wife gave birth to our daughter there was literally nobody from the family in the dame state. My folks, brother (and his family) and her mother were all 150 miles away at closest. Each and every one of them saw our daughter within 4 hours. Slowly and only when my wife said it was ok.
Last story: OP's dad could have popped in for an hour, but it's not the end of the world he didn't get to see his grandchild directly after birth. So many people have to fight their families to get the needed rest directly after the birth, I don't really see why it's such a big deal.
The wife publicly humiliated her husband to lash out at his mother, by suggesting online that he had a romantic dance with his own mother at his own wedding. Correcting her kindly online was a lot nicer that he could’ve done.
As OP, I would be really examining a lot of things re the wife. "Petty revenge" would be more like uncovering the truth, not making up crap.
Sounds like hubby 1 isn't over his ex and is trying desperately to ruin her new marriage. Gee I do wonder why they divorced.
Story 1: ops partner is not over his ex and he is being a controlling psychopath
As for the last name story, my dad took my mothers last name (I wish he hadnt) despite us being Scandinavian and it being completely against "the norm" and I have a traditional Scandinavian last name based on tradition. My siblings, not Scandinavian, also have my mums last name. It doesnt make us any less family (unfortunately)
Or he hates her just enough for whatever reason to stalk her and make her life hell. He needs a professional evaluation, because that shit will destroy you.
Can I ask what his last name was originally?
I wonder if any comments on the wedding story called OP entitled. Seriously, she thinks she has ANY business going at the bride like that after hearing her explanation. She seriously thinks her son shouldn’t go because she doesn’t approve of the wedding date? What is wrong with that woman? If you can’t go, don’t go. Apologize, send a gift, and shut the heck up.
OP needs to revisit why he’s NC with his mom. He needs to remember if he witnessed the events his wife is talking about or if he just took her word for it. She has shown she will lie just to get sympathy even dragging innocent people. Reddit is notorious for trying to fault MILs and don’t think for a second that DIL is just as bad especially since DIL is usually the one retelling and OPs have shown in multiple retelling to omit info that makes them look bad or makes MIL justified in hating her.
But you're not considering the fact MIL may also be wild.
First story, OP realised why ex divorced her husband.
Giver her a break she just had a baby and emotions are running wild..who wouldnt their parents to be there...nta
Wedding story: Dude, you started in a ditch, then asked for a shovel.
Tough…he acted like a total AH!!!!! His own granddaughter!!!! GF, could disappear tomorrow, your daughter’s birth day way, way, way more important!!!!
His girlfriend could dump on her birthday
#1 NTA HIS son, HIS vacation... Are you a doormat? He disrespects you on ALL levels. Never asked, manipulative, selfish.. 🚩🚩🚩
Re story 1-- My ex would do the same kind of thing --- book travels with the kids at the last minute then get angry cuz I "wouldn't" take off work for family time.
Wife is right to defend herself but not to make things up. You asked her to go the right way about it and she didn't so deserved the call out.
...arent weddings mosty on Saturdays and Sundays?
Wedding date story - Op is stupid, the bride and groom don't have to get married on a weekend if they don't want to. I got married on a Friday just because it was the day the date I wanted fell on that year.
The bride was married on a weekend-Sunday is part of that weekend
The one story about the Sunday wedding you can tell she sees her niece as a little child and shouldn't be talking back to adults even on her own wedding day
The man who is marrying and taking his fiancé and step daughters’ last name is wonderful and sweet.
I knew a man named Pickelheimer who married a woman with a simple Anglo-Saxon last name. Instead of her become Mrs. Pickelheimer he became Mr. Wife's Name. The guy had been bullied about Pickelheimer and he hated the name. His parents were upset with him and he told them to kick rocks, he was glad he wasn't a Pickelheimer any more. If they had a problem with that it was their problem, not his.
Op do you need this toddler he's also weaponising his son to get back at his ex.
My brother changed his last name when he got married...and we were happy and very proud of him.
My in laws came& stayed locally for a few days hoping to see our newborn- their only grandchild. But they birth was delayed and the child arrived the night before they left. They were invited to come to the hospital next morning but father in law refused because he had his dog with them and the dog would get fretful if they delayed the drive home. So there's worse reasons to not show up but ops dad is still the ah!!!
What is funny is if many of us did a genealogy search, we'd likely find our currently treasured last name had been changed several generations ago from what it had been. And occasionally multiple times.
Seriously, OP1 should leave her husband and then testify for the ex in the custody hearings, assuming that she’s any better. That man is toxic to the point of being psycho, and there’s no way he’s capable of being a good husband to OP either.
I got married in Thursday afternoon (civil ceremony, they only do that during office hours). Parents and siblings were there. All fine.
Most of folks who pick Sundays or childfree wedding understand if someone cannot attend because specifics. And this wasn't even "destination" wedding, it was two hour ride and you can fully not drink, drive back and go work the next day. My brother's wedding ended at 10pm so everyone had time to clean the place (there was no drinking or dancing due bride's religious background... Or more like needing to put up a show for her religious grandma)
6:41 “Having a wedding weekend on Sunday?!” How inconvenient, why can’t the bride and groom have it on the weekend? Because not only do people work on weekends but OP might have plans
Last story: If I had a relationship with my dad and he did what OP's dad did, I would never let him see my baby because clearly the girlfriend is much more importiant.
Why is it so important that the Dad should cancel plans he had made for his significant other’s birthday just so he could see the baby the day she was born? The baby isn’t going anywhere and it sounds like he made time to go see them still. Genuinely asking here because I don’t get how he is an AH because he kept a promise to his girlfriend. The guy had probably been planning this for a while and had no idea the baby would be born on the same day
@@LovestarVGC The baby and the girlfriend share the same birthday. It will happen every year, no doubt. Best to just free up all his time.
@@Cnichal you’re right that if it continues to happen then the dad needs to get his priorities straight. In this instance however I support him keeping his word to his significant other
@@Cnichal I disagree with cutting out a loving grandparent who wants to be there just because he couldn’t make it one time. People on Reddit are so quick to call for no contact over the most minor and petty shit imaginable
@@LovestarVGC Part of the issue I believe is he could of brought the girlfriend but instead he didn't even take a small amount of time to be with his family he chose his girlfriend saying she was more important her needs were more important and only she deserved a full day when his own daughter was having his grandchild. He specifically said to her that she was not as important as someone that his daughter he had known their whole lives was less important than someone he knew for less then a year and had no promise of a future with. And the OP simply said she was disappointed he chose her over his family and felt difference between them now and he got upset. Any person who expected to have a parent there for an important day just to be told they weren't as important as his girlfriend would probably start feeling different about them. He did not even ask when he said she'd be alone without him if he could bring her he just said no I wont come. He had other options and just because it was girlfriends birthday does not mean he could not spare some time in that 24 hours. OP is a little over the top because she is hurt but in this instance I can understand that as she will never have this babys first moments back for him to see. If he and his girlfriend break up he will never have that moment with his grandchild back. I think that's why its such an issue.
Last Story) Hell Yeah I'll be pissed if my father didn't show to this important life changing day. That girlfriend been alive for 40yrs my baby just got here. You better show up. NTA.
Yeah, they’re acting like someone’s birthday is more important than the birth of a newborn child. They could do whatever they want but people at that age really don’t care for birthdays that much anymore and thinks it’s less significance. I mean I’m a guy in his 30s and I don’t make a big deal over my birthday anymore, but that’s just me.
@@Symphonia30 Yeah, 31 - 49 are irrelevant in terms of milestones or importance, beyond the obvious, and once you hit 50 it's the decade years are important milestones.
Who died and left you in charge of wedding day selection!!!!! YTA lady!!!!!
THERAPY !!!! They all need THERAPY !!!
The girlfriend vs. new baby story. Different families do this different ways. In mine, you DON’T crowd around in the hospital on THE DAY because Mom is going to be sweaty, stinky and exhausted, hubby is going to be overwrought, and baby is probably going to need sleep (that birthing process was hard on the baby too). So you go the next day, or the first day baby comes home, or something like that. That said, we also don’t make a whole day of it for birthdays, either. So many divorces in my family, you end up celebrating on different days, and it’s usually just a dinner or breakfast or something. If something else is going on the same day we make it work. We don’t turn stuff like this into earth-shattering drama. But then most of the folks in my family (except my sister) seriously loathe big fussy events in general.
3rd story: Since when have "destination" weddings meant simply away from your current city? I don't think I've been to a single wedding in the hometown city of the couple getting married. This isn't a comment on anything else, I'm just surprised at that choice of wording.
People excusing the father in the last story are emotionless robots. Giving birth IS a big deal, REGARDLESS of who is being born, and it's literally a part of the human species' survival to be surrounded by family (blood or otherwise) for emotional and practical support. People need to stop devaluing human life because "hurr there's 8 billion of us, who cares!!!" Human life means something because no matter how many humans there will be, there will only ever be one of you. And the day you enter the world through birth is a massive life-altering experience that comes with some risks. Not coming in to even hold the baby and check on mom for just an hour or so on a 24 hour day is not just a snub, it's disgraceful and shameful. Grampa will pick his gf over his family every time no matter the consequence, and I hope OP learns that and keeps it LC.
I dont know. I do think it weird that OP'S dad didn't bother to do a quick visit with his daughter and grandbaby. Maybe he could have taken his gf to come too. Then dad and gf could have done fun birthday things together.
I can understand OP's feeling to a point but OP's dad should be treating his gf like a queen if he truly loves her. Doing things on her bday isnt something strange.
Lying is never ok. Sad some women & men think it is A-OK. Take a cue from A.Heard. Sheesh.
Wedding story .. I got married on a Sunday and it was a long weekend! It was small but well attended and we had a great day! 🤷♀️❤️
First story you're not in the wrong here however this is one of those situations where your stepson is most likely going to be the sacrificial lamb and his upbringing. Think about it his parents hate each other's guts his mother basically dumps him on his father when he is not supposed to have time with him and then his father schedules a vacation at the same hotel that she's at with her new husband it seems to me like this man is trying to one of her and I want to know what was the cause of the divorce to begin with. Was there infidelity from his part was there infidelity from her part was there abuse from both parts and they didn't know how to deal with it. Nobody is this messed up in a marriage and divorce unless one just wants to control and the other one doesn't. You're not in the wrong here but if I were you I would seriously recommend individual therapy for your husband couples counseling for you and your husband and get your husband his ex-wife her new husband and you together and family therapy because they're still unresolved issues between the two of them and you either need to come to a decision to wear either you're going to be the one stable parental figure in this Boy's Life or you need to cut and run because both of them clearly don't give a damn about their son to begin with
A destination wedding is to another country, or the other side of the country....not an hour away😂
And then, why does the OP have to stay late? They could go to the ceremony, and then leave, they could even stay at the party for an hour or 2 a d then leave and be home by 9pm...and that with an afternoon wedding, like 5pm-ish in mind.
Can get back home, shower and sleep just in time to have a full night sleep and wake up fresh in the morning....😂😂😂😂
That is just such a stupid excuse😂
love the idea that the dad from the last story was right to celebrate a milestone birthday for his gf but op was entitled to expect her father to celebrate a milestone literal birthday for his grandchild. the cognitive dissonance is rife!
The number of people siding with him surprised me, Reddit is usually more pro mom.
He could have brought his girlfriend to the hospital to see the baby.
The no contact mom wedding story: OP just married his mom weather they realize it or not
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day
The last comment on the last story is so true 😂 . Because your partner is a top priority for you when you’re dating . Kids , grandkids all come after once they are grown .
First story, the husband is using the son as a weapon against his wife and ex wife, saying that the son will hate OP because she isn't taking him on vacation and trying to show off that he is a "better parent" then his ex. It doesn't sound that that ex's new husband doesn't like the son maybe he, like op said, wanted a romantic getaway.
The ops husband is acting like a jealous a-hole who for some strange reason is obsessed with his ex wife, kinda makes me think he still likes her.
The last story- WTF!! It is the birth of his granddaughter he abd missed it for his girlfriends birthday, f-up no matter what his grandfather card is revoked. I know for a freaking fact that the people say OP is in the wrong have zero content with their family.
The grandpa is the jerk and just messed up big time.
If the girlfriend isn't a narcissist then she would understand him missing her birthday for the birth of his grandchild, might even want to be there with him.
Lol I got married on a Tuesday with only 30 people invited due to it being a special date. We had a huge reception 2 weeks later for the whole family. No one complained, at least to my face.
Story 1: he's not mad ex excluded his kid, he's just wanting to ruin his ex's romantic trip.
and is to much of a coward to do it himself
Last story: dad is the jerk. Who purposely ignores the birth of their grandchild for a new girlfriend
1. Personally I would take advantage of a paid for vacation with extra perks on hos dime, including maybe he son taking a friend, so he is entertained. I would also take that time to consider if I want to stay married, because he is not over his ex.
Just avoid the wife during the trip so the boy doesn't see her.
Last story, do people forget that people can die in childbirth? The whole you're not giving birth to Jesus he can meet the baby anytime. Like seriously? This is a huge milestone in a person's life. It is a painful and scary thing to do. Yes, you do get a baby at the end but before that baby is hell. And if being there for a baby's birth isn't important why do so many families around the world go to the hospital to meet the baby? Why did so many people get upset that Covid prevented them from doing so.
My brother and his wife got married on a Sunday and it wasn't a Destination wedding but she had family flying in from another country. Everyone was just happy to be there.
Make your son's middle name the same as your current last name.
Last story OP you are NOT TAH! Your dad decided that a grown ass woman of 40 years needed to be supported during her birthday! Why in the name of all things holy? Good God she is not having a milestone birthday-she is only 40 but if she needs all his attention she is acting like a 4 year old not a 40 year old! I went no contact with my mom for pulling this when my youngest was born except it wasn't her bf s birthday but he was tired and didn't want to come so she didn't want to leave him alone so I made sure they were left alone for the rest of her life!
He literally chose to not celebrate a milestone in his daughters and granddaughter lives so he could celebrate his girlfriend instead.
This wasn’t his friend giving birth, it was his daughter. Woman die giving birth. The babies don’t always make it either. This is an event most people consider more important then a 40th birthday.
I would seriously dump a man for putting my birthday over the birth of their grandchild. I don’t like what it says about his priorities.
Omg, the third story is a dream man.
I'd dump this git. he's vindictive and manipulative, but weaponizing the son to force OP to do his bidding is so low. Giant red flag.
Right after I handed him the divorce papers, I'd call the ex and offer to testify when she goes for full custody of the child.
the comments of the last story are hilarious!! LOL
1st story... According to the Bible.....Let your yes be yes and your No be NO. Anything less than that is sin.
Do not do what your husband is asking. You would be the one attacked for being there on their honeymoon.
Listen to your gut instinct.
Story 1: the husband clearly shows why his ex dumped him. And why OP may need to do the same soon.
If it was only the vacation and the money, you can put on his "fued" with his ex, but the moment be went and told the kid how there is no vacation because of OP is when he lost any excuse.
Lol! Mom is upset that the family name won't continue? The family name is only hers by marriage!
how do ppl think a literal BIRTH / MAJOR MEDICAL EVENT is more important than a gf's bday? are they fucking serious? they could attend the birth then go out for dinner or whatever for her own celebration. a serious medical evena nd welcoming your GRANDCHILD into the world is way more important. if the gf cant see that she'd fucked up too.
The first story, he's still acting like a jilted lover, why should this matter to him so much? If I were his current wife I would be hurt and insulted over this. So he's going to spend all that time and money and drag his son into the mix to put it in her face? Yikes, don't ever piss off that dude, who knows what lengths he'll go through to put a pie in your face! I feel sorry for the innocent child in all of this that isn't loved enough without a parent taking them in any time any day or any hour without a melt down of being stuck with a kid. I know it's more about her than his son, but his son won't look at it like that. I pray for that child, he deserves better and so does his current wife.
Last story, newborn granddaughter. OP's father is a massive, cruel, selfish, inconsiderate and dismissive AH!!! That he put a girlfriend of less than a year over the birth of his granddaughter is just simply beyond my comprehension. I'm honestly sitting here in a loss for what to say or how to explain everything I'm feeling. When I had my first child my mom and dad were both in the hospital. When I was in recovery with my husband and with the baby my mother stood in the door my dad behind her. My mom of all the foolish questions asked me if now that I held my daughter if I remembered the pain. I asked her, "Are you kidding me"? She laughed and Dad told her to shush. The next day apparently my dad called the hospital Nursery to find out what time was feeding time. A nurse brought my daughter to me and right on her heels was my dad. He sat there and watched me nurse her and then asked if he could hold her? When I held her out to him he took her reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box, in that box was the most beautiful pair of pierced earrings. He sat back down and held her and crooned while he himself rocked back and forth. Every chance he got he would hold her and talk to her. My mom would really have to get after him so she could have a turn. So no I cannot understand OP's father not wanting to be there for his granddaughter's birth.
Guess what some people work on weekends. Almost all weddings inconvenience them!
And demanding that they be rearranged to meet their preferences especially if they aren't paying is entitled AF.
OP should leave before the day they are supposed to arrive/hubby is supposed to leave, with phone switched off. This would leave hubby in the position of either cancelling the trip or calling his relatives if not both.
Why should she be the one who carries bad news.
I feel bad for the kid both of his parents are AH. His mom just throws him away to have fun with her new plaything because plaything doesn't want him there and the dad wants to use him as a pawn.
That last comment in the birth grandchild story has a bunch of screws in his head. That is going to be a recurring theme throughout the lives of the granddaughter and the father’s girlfriend sharing the same birthday. I mean how is the birthday of someone of 40 years more special than the birth of a newborn child? Oh yeah, it isn’t. Honestly they sound entitled. And people at that age really don’t make a big deal over birthdays anymore, I certainly don’t and I’m a guy in his 30s.
I respectfully disagree. I think the father was right to keep the plans he had made for his girlfriend’s birthday. Showing up to see the baby the day it was born is not more important than keeping promises you have made to a significant other. The baby isn’t going anywhere so the dad can see his granddaughter the next day, the world isn’t going to end
Yeah, I think this is one of those situations where you aren't going to win as the new parent. Your Dad is more interested in his girlfriend than the health and welfare of his child and grandchild. I don't even want to think about the yearly contest between girlfriend and grandchild over the coming years if they stay together. Just invite him to birthday parties and never expect him to come, I guess. He won't be the go to in case of an emergency or issue.
@@LovestarVGC well that’s gonna be awkward in the future of the father’s girlfriend sharing the same birthday as the granddaughter. And there’s no doubt where his priorities gonna lie with this.
@@LovestarVGC The same can be said about the girlfriend. Also, the guy's daughter or granddaughter could have had a complication that could have killed either one. I turned 40 this year and if I was dating a guy who's daughter was having his first grandchild, I would ask if she wants him there, even if it's my birthday. If she did, I would tell him to get his a$$ there. There are literally dozens of milestone birthdays that I can skip one for the birth of a new life. I mean there are 1, 5, 10, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100+. Missing one of those isn't going to kill anyone. A baby is only born once while a birthday is every year. The only fun thing about turning 40 this year is that I've met more people born in 1982 than any other year since school.
@@Symphonia30 I see it as him keeping his word and following through on plans he had made for a loved one. To me that is more important than seeing a baby at the hospital when it’s born. I feel like OP is being selfish and just doesn’t like Dad’s new GF
Some of the comments about the last one ....I just cant
My mother drove an hour and a half just to meet my newborn son and check on me for only five minutes after mid night no less. So dad could not take the time it takes to take a bath to meet his new grandchild and make sure his daughter was ok? That is sad. A decent gf would have told dad to go. Says a lot about gf too.
It's almost disgusting how many people are forgetting that giving birth is a medical procedure that is incredibly strainful and stressful like no s*** she wanted to see her dad
I don’t understand some of the people in the video that commented on the last story. Did they not see that OP said 3 months went by and he still didn’t see his grandchild??
Last story: Disagree with the last comments. OP's NTA. She's perfectly right to feel hurt by the fact she and her daughter got snubbed by her father in favor of his girlfriend. She was perfectly right to tell him how that affected her. Honestly, it's fine that his gf is so important to him, but it's not fine that she's more important than OP and her child, seeing as how GF is not dad's wife nor fiance. There probably would have been no issue bringing GF with so he could visit for even a few minutes. Who knows, OP may have even let GF in the room too. Maybe it would have gone well! But now we can't know cuz OP's dad was being such a bonehead.
The YTA must be the dad-or EMMA!
Story #1: OP, leave this loser. Give the ex-wife all the info on this so she can go for sole custody.
1st story your husband is crazy. Sometimes couples need alone time. Maybe it would have been nicer if it was on days she wasn't meant to have custody but that's it. This poor child being used like this and dad manipulating him against his own mum. Also poor you being abused for not jeopardising your mum and career. Wow op. Run!!
Getting a Monday off isn’t very hard. Lots of people work weekends and have to take time off regardless.
Hi XO!
Story 2. You shouldn't always put your spouse first. Sometimes you are married to the devil without realizing it . I would definitely put the people who raised me before some guy I knew a few years ago unless the parents were toxic
I had an aunt like the wedding OP. Lucky for me that witch is 6 feet under so one less thing I gotta deal with.
My cousin got married on a Friday night cause it was cheaper. I left work early not the end of the world.
My friends got married on a Tuesday cos it was their 10 year anniversary. My partner and I at the time went butt left at a reasonable hour like 10pm. It's not dramatic if you don't make it dramatic
Story 1: “Bullshit that didn’t happen for $500, Alex”.
I’m not sure there are a lot of sh!tty people in this world so I buy it