I don't get the YTA on story 2... Yes, people are particular about their wedding photos because they are PAYING A LOT for them.. If I'm shelling out several hundred dollars for photos of my event, you better damn well believe I'm having them exactly to my liking. SIL can get good pictures on her own dime, not use OPs wedding as a free photo shoot.
I wouldn't be surprised if that was the sil. Op hadn't said anything about not wearing anything white to the wedding or said she couldn't have the photos. All she did was change the ones she wanted out and told sil that she had to pay for the originals if she really wanted them. I'm guessing that sil wanted professional photos at no cost to herself.
That commenter missed the point. The SIL _wanted_ to upstage the bride. "I look good in white." Ok, but this is a wedding, not your personal photo shoot.
It’s because of the hypocrisy for me. “Why do you care about the white top?!?” As if she didn’t have said top edited so that SIL “didn’t stand out” as much. I think it’s a solid ESH tbh op sucks for acting like SIL is the only person who cares about how the pictures came out but obviously SIL shouldn’t be talking behind ops back when she was given the chance to pay for the unedited pictures.
@@MageMalice disagree. They aren't pictures for the SIL. They're for the couple. A white top DOES stand out amongst non white clothing, and in wedding pictures the bride and the groom should stand out. Besides, the top was only edited in pictures were the SIL and the bride were together. The SIL could have her fancy little shirt in every other photo, but she's bothered that she's not matching with the bride????
@@MageMalice There's no hypocrisy here. SIL wore the white top specifically to stand out in _someone else's wedding._ If that isn't tacky, you tell me what is.
Wedding picture story: I think what Reddit missed is that the OP does NOT owe anyone pictures of her wedding, not even the married couple’s parents. If SIL wants different pictures. Tough luck. She needs to considered herself blessed that OP gave her free photos. Those cost a lot of money!
100% this. OP didn't make a scene at SiL's outfit-- she didn't say anything. She just made adjustments to //some// of the wedding photos, and a slight one at that. She was even willing to get the originals for SiL until the photographer said it would cost. OP isn't obligated to pay so SiL can have her white top in the photo. Some of the responses were just too eager to call her a Bridezilla.
If I'm driving a child around to a park, etc... I REFUSE to drink because that small child is my responsibility. Even if I am NOT driving, if I am in a public place and there's a possibility that the child can get into trouble, I'd rather keep my wits about me. That wine mom is scary in that she ALWAYS brings alcohol to the meetups. This is NOT healthy.
Op should ask that friend if knowing about sherry's love of wine would let her kids get in the car with her. sometimes uncomfortable things have to to be talked about.
The daughter sounds like a fun babysitter in the first story. Also it’s true, new generation kids are addicted to their screens, than the outside. But back then when I was growing up, those things did not exist.
Also, adults basically ruined all the infrastructure that used to allow kids to play outside with each other safely. And then made it illegal for kids to play without adult supervision.
I live in a motel and there are many low income families here. The kids here roam the outdoors in a group all the time. Don't know if it's heartwarming but scary or scary but heartwarming. Keep waiting for Pennywise to show up or something. They Look like kids in an 80's or 90's coming of age movie
Dad doesn't want her engaging with them, because that means if she does he does. It's much easier for him to shove a tablet in their faces then play with them
Story 2: NTA. “I look really good in white” isn’t a excuse you should use at a wedding. Honestly if it bothered me PERIOD she would have been kicked out of the wedding.
Plus the fact is she edited the top she didn't edit sister-in-law at all. Sounds like the sister-in-law is just entitled and she specifically did that so she could be the center of attention otherwise why would she be so upset. The "oh I look good in white" excuse is a bunch of crap that's like going to a party where the color scheme is a specific color and you choosing not to because oh I don't like that color. Also if it was really about the top she would have paid the extra cost to get the photos she just wanted to have her photos done at OP's cost. The sister-in-law should just be grateful she got any photos OP could have just gotten the ones that she wanted for her house and not given any copies to sister-in-law.
@@frankhooper7871 No because men wearing white isn’t the issue. Were as a woman wearing white is. And yes I know it’s “Just a shirt” but even that’s too much of some people.
It was a white top. Not a white dress. OP was jealous because OP thought SIL was better looking. OP should get over herself. I am guessing there were plenty of guys in white shirts. Maybe even suits. Maybe better looking than the husband. Why not photoshop those people with a big red clown nose? OP is just joined the family and it is starting off with acts of jealousy on OP's side. Sorry to say this but if SIL looks better wearing casual dress up than OP one her wedding day looking her best, OP is in for a long time of doubt, self loathing, and instant jealous.
1st story: Reward your daughter for doing such a great thing with the sibs. Your ex is an absolute idiot and lazy parent. He is just mad because now the sibs might actually want to interact with him and his wife and do activities with them.
Oh yeah reward her for lying and manipulating the people around her because she felt like it was right. 👍 Great way to teach your kids. That's how dictators are made. Why didn't she ask the kids to play? Why did she have to lie and manipulate them into doing what she wanted them to do. They call it "screen time"... That could mean anything from tv to video games . Op also explains that their family normally aren't on screens all the time so why does she get to decide what's too much? It varies person to person it's an opinion. So to track mom's logic it's ok that her daughter ,who was being paid, unilaterally decided to lie to the kids she was watching and forced them off the things they'd rather do to make them play with her. The post literally doesn't even say the kids enjoyed it. That's just the tip of the iceberg not even going into the "what ifs". What if they don't like her? What if they want to avoid her and do so by playing on the phone or computer? She completely took away their choices in the matter and that doesn't deserve a reward. Meanwhile dad understands and even says that what she did was controlling AF. But sure give the girl a cookie and tell her it's ok to lie and manipulate and control the people around her to get what she wants out of it.
Alcoholics almost never admit to being alcoholic. If she can’t go without a drink she IS an alcoholic. I’d wait until she leaves & report her anonymously for driving under the influence
Last story: If OP and his wife make about the same amount of money, he pays all the bills and still has enough to give Shelby $500 AND invest the rest of the water bill savings, maybe OP needs to ask Tara what the hell she’s spending her paychecks on that she needs to get her hands on the money of her 14 year old daughter!
Shopping habits, gambling addictions flashy lifestyle, secret lover the possibilities are endless. Course it could be innocent but Reddit rarely turns out wholesome.
His wife (and apparently the mother of the 14-year-old on paper only) has no concept of family. She's in this relationship for herself ONLY. She pays no bills? Contributes nothing to her daughter's future? Wants to essentially steal from her daughter? OP needs to realize that he's being taken advantage of, and that his daughter is probably being mistreated in some way (I have no doubt the wife is ashamed of having a child with a disability which has aided in her selfish preference to be emotional disconnected from the girl). There's no way being around this toxic mother is good for handling the anxiety associated with OCD. I'm not sure how close the daughter is to 15, but he should file for divorce then and sue for full custody based on the "mother's" behavior. His wife works, so he won't pay alimony. Her world will be very different when she has to pay child support and her own bills.
No, I would never allow a partner to quit their job, move in without paying rent, bills, food, gas, etc. A stay-at-home partner who doesn't actually do anything? What a leech!
I really hate how the "wine mom" thing is so common and normalized now. I see crap like that on t-shirts, pajamas (all women's apparel) whenever I go into Walmart or target to look at clothes. I also see it on other things marketed to women like accessories and kitchen things like potholders and hand towels. It's always all jokey like "haha, mom needs her wine time" or whatever, but it's really disturbing to me. Ew. OP was trying to help but Sherry is only going to get angry and defensive, she's in denial that she has a problem.
If the conversation was between the 2 of them, who told everybody else? probably Sherry, whining about how OP tried to shame her, if Sherry didn't talk about OP behind her back, nobody probably would've even known what was said, she shamed herself.
@@arleneclark6369 I’m sure the whole group has noticed how much she drinks… my daughters mil was a practicing drunk but nobody wanted to see it till she started dragging a box of wine with her everywhere she went.. of course I was the bad guy cause I said something to my kid and told I was just jealous… of what? A drunk??!!
I am a stay-at-home spouse. You know what I do all day? I clean, cook, drive my partner to/from work, take care of our dog, coordinate the household finances, do the shopping, do the laundry, and handle small maintenance needs (or call someone for big problems). You know what my partner does? They work 10+ hours, bring in the big bucks, and take out trash on weekends. That is division of labor. If OP's partner doesn't have a job, they need to step the heck up.
The story of the babysitting sister: The dad is angry because he is afraid the kids are going to ask of them as parents the same time and playtime from them and they aren't willing/unable to provide it for whatever reason. The father has that dynamic in place to work on his schedule and the older kid going out of his own preferences puts a ding on that.
The wine mom story: here's the thing, addicts hate being called out on their addicted behaviors, especially if they haven't started any kind of recovery plan. That doesn't mean you shouldn't gently call her out. She does sound like she is probably a functioning alcoholic. Without outside intervention or hitting rock bottom, addicted brains very much prefer to stay on the course of addiction. Yes, this will cause drama and, because her addicted brain now sees you as a threat to her addiction, she's going to start actively trying to push you away so she can continue justifying her unhealthy behaviors.
This is huge. And when they drink with others who drink like they do, it becomes an echo chamber. They don't realize just how bad their addiction is because they haven't been around other people who don't normalize this heavy kind of drinking. It's surprising how common this kind of thing has become.
As a former “wine mom”, it IS hard to stop on your own and thank goodness I had the support of my family. But it DID mess my kids up something awful 😞. It is WAY too easy to start and horribly hard to stop
That's absolutely true. I am a recovering alcoholic (2 years sober yay) and that is the exact behavior that led me to addiction. At first, it was a glass here in a gathering or another, then every outing had drinks on it, then every outing was an excuse to drink and then there I was drinking half of a bottle of vodka every day. The big problem? No one thought my drinking was a problem until it got really bad, not even my family, everyone thought it was normal so I did too.
@@nancyomalley6286 I heard it too: 🎶~ It's bride's party and she can gray if she wants to gray if she wants to gray if she wants to You would gray too if it happened to you.🎶
Oh how fun it would have been if the bride and groom had decided to have all of their wedding photos developed in sepia tone ...... it would not have been possible for the white top to be white in the picture.
Don’t allow partner to move in before they find their job. They will just mooch mooch mooch! They want to be jobless, and hates the idea of doing the house work? It’s ridiculous to expect a free ride cause work is hard…..I am a stay home person. I do 99% of home work inside and outside. Mowing ,painting, all cleaning , laundry, and cooking is on me. Except bleach the shower cause I get very very ill with bleach. I never say a word, I am so incredibly grateful to this arrangement.
Oh the horror of that! Then they end up on the floor and blend in with the carpet so that you step on them in your bare feet! She needs to be stopped immediately! 😵💫
OP's daughter is a genius. She thought up a, very, believable excuse to get the kids away from their screens. Shame on OP's ex for his boorish behavior. I would not be surprised if the 17 year old refused to visit him anymore. He is a douchebag.
About 17yo babysitting: I have personal "horror" story. When my brother married his wife, we get 3yo as his stepson. He was as called in story "Screen" baby, he always had ipad with him. It was awful, he couldnt speak normally, only some strange sounds. It took my brother 3 years to make something decent from him.
Hi i'm from the ATL too. Sherri does not speak for us. Drinking is normal yes but i'm pretty sure bringing WINE to an event with CHILDREN is something no sane parent does
"brides need to get over themselves" says the commenter in a story where the person wearing white is pitching a fit because "she looks good in white" and has to have those photos. Someone is being narcissistic here but it isn't OP.
Our family used to do regular monthly "tech break" where all electronics were off limits for 24 hours, for all family members. We painted, played games, did crafts, read books, went for walks, and much more.
Story 1: NTA. Worst case scenario is you tell her not to do it again. But what’s your Ex’s damage? Is he so scared of interacting with his children that the mear idea of them starting to like something other than being online is a punishable offense?
@@nicolelawrence7722 Or the kids are now getting away from their screens and interacting with their parents more, wanting to actually do stuff with them. Oh, the horror!/s
@@nicolelawrence7722 She probably didn't push that little button to turn the router back on or the kids told their dad they had the best time ever today even though the wifi was broken. They played some really cool games like hide and seek and Red Rover and why haven't you taught us those, Daddy? Sis is cool! C'mon, Daddy, lets go play Red Rover!!
2nd story... That's exactly why I will have a dress code on the wedding invitations! "Oh, but I look good in white and wanted good photos." You may, but not at MY wedding, especially after being asked to not wear these two colours.
Story 3: NTA. I would have never even humored the idea. I’m of the opinion that if you can work you need to. That being said your conditions sounded more than reasonable. I think they were just hoping to leach off of you.
If if I was OP in the story I would be telling the ex that he no longer gets the benefit of our daughter‘s babysitting anymore if he’s going to be angry at her for actually spending time with her own siblings! Also parents do shit like this all the time to get their kids to stop doing things. This is a fun nice memory and sibling bonding moment for those kids that this idiot is ruining
Sherry sounds like a high functioning alcoholic. She would down a bottle of wine every time; and then proceed to presumably drive her children home? Call CPS. She isn’t becoming an addict; she is an addict.
So, she turned off wifi and gave them actual family interaction? As these kids get older, I guarantee they will value the memory of playing games w their sister, and likely won't recall what they did with the wifi babysitter! Shame on dad! He has his feefees hurt because his daughter showed him up in the family interaction dept.! NTA!
Yup. You can tell the narrowmindedness of the older commenter (btw I'm old as dirt, too), not understanding how much photos/photography services cost and the new way photos are done, theses days. The photos are of the couples day, first and foremost. If the guest wants some photos of herself done up her way, then the guest can pay for them, herself. Otherwise, the guest can go pay for her own photo shoot. Or, maybe the guest could have taken out her own phone, and got someone to shoot a few photos of her, for her own sake.Entitled SIL.
Re: Wine o'clock. NTA. But also, a waterpark? The waterparks/swimming pools where I grew up 40 years ago didn't allow glass containers as a safety issue. I would not be pleased to see someone with a bottle there. That is not okay.
They do make mini bottles of wine in plastic now, but going to water parks with alcohol was a big NO in the 90's. I can't imagine things have changed that much.
The wine story reminds me of a dream I hope to fulfill To become rich enough to go to a wine auction and buy the most expensive, sought after bottle of wine. Then, invite everyone round, thinking they're going to sample this rarity Then put it in the spag bol I'm cooking
@Gi Gi Okaaay. I had to re-read your comment and realize you weren't the original poster here. And that you really were making a rocky mountain oysters type play on spaghetti bolognese.
Story 1 NTA and agree with the comments! Dads upset as bet that the kids probably now want him to do things with them instead of being glued to the screen and they can't handle that!! Give the daughter praise for recognizing the issue and finding a harmless way to engage her sibs, and tell the dad good luck as my niece and nephew when they were younger were like this and it took a lot of effort and tantrums to change their screen time habits and this will affect them as they get older
Story 1: the ex is pissed because he doesn’t want the kids to start asking him to engage with them the way the daughter does. Story 2: was just thinking SIL was piggy backing on the wedding shoot to get free photos of herself and yep, that was the next thing OP said.
I was left by myself a lot as a kid... but even though I had a DS I spent a lot of time not in front of a screen. I did a lot of drawing, and even stuff like hand-sewing. I had no siblings that I lived with until I was 11. I'm amongst the oldest of gen Z (turning 25. yeah. that's how old some of us are already) and I really cannot see a good justification for letting your kid be mainly on a tablet, especially when they're young. The rest of us made do, and it helps with both imagination and developing skills.
I couldn’t agree more about the whole wine mom nonsense. I raised 3 kids sober. Now all I see is tshirts, mugs and other paraphernalia with the whole wine nonsense. It’s NOT normal.
Second story you're not in the wrong here you just edited the photos and made the white into a more grayish color. She knew that she was wearing a white to a wedding and she knew that this could possibly cause some form of controversy she's only upset that you wouldn't cave and let it be for her. You're not in the wrong here but you need to be prepared for your sister-in-law to give you the cold shoulder every chance you get because of it she needs to be very lucky that you didn't delete her out of every photo at the wedding. You're not in the wrong here but you do realize that it's just something for you
i look good in white so i take a white blouse too your wedding ergo i wanted to upstage the bride. And now bride is altering the photo's course she is insecure.. Yeah that sums it up Op aint tah
I've worn a white top to a wedding before. It wasn't a dress. I wore a white top with an orange and red wrap skirt. She came up to me and took pictures of me with my daughter, took pictures of us together, sent it to me, posted it online with all the other pictures of the wedding. It wasn't a big deal at all, and no one cared.
@@MargaritaOnTheRox congratulations, you got lucky. Wearing white at a wedding is disrespectful, immature, and wrong. Everyone knows this. It’s not hard to avoid white FOR ONE DAY.
@@MargaritaOnTheRox i won't care either but the words i look great in white, gives away the purpose. It is trying to upstage the bride that makes her an ah. If she wore any other colour with the same purpose, she still was an ah. You NEVER try to upstage the bride.
@@paulinadeboer3604 I wasn’t aware wearing clothes/colors you look great in to a wedding instantly meant you were just trying to upstage the host and not, you know, looking great since there’s a chance you’ll end up in pictures? Imo some of these comments take the “don’t wear white to a wedding” bit a little far if wearing a TOP Is the same as a dress. Ig SIL would still suck if she were wearing a white skirt instead just because it’s white and she looks good in it.
Story 4: NTA. I think your within your right to be concerned about a woman you’ve LITERALLY never seen without alcohol around your children. If she wants to get sloashed on her own time good on her, but that can be dangerous around kids.
I'm from Wisconsin and I still am surprised if people drink at baby showers or kids' birthday parties. I definitely think I'd be a bit put off if someone pulled out a bottle at a waterpark or even a playground. Save that for when you're safe at home, please. Or when you don't have to drive your child home. I can't imagine the guilt I'd feel if she got into an accident on her way home and the kid got hurt and I knew she drank a bottle of wine before leaving. 😬 no one with a problem is going to react well to being called out though. Especially when it's only one person saying they think there might be an issue. And this is where we get into interventions.
Story 1: I bet the only way they found out about the daughter turning the WiFi off is because the kids asked the parents to play a game instead of watching tv after dinner
OP needs to clarify what his wife does with her money. He says he’s the one paying all the bills so I’m assuming everything including the mortgage. Does she spend it on groceries and medications? Or is she saving? Is she spending recklessly that she’s out of money each paycheck? I’ve seen some people say “I pay all the bills” when in reality their partner pays half or all of other bills.
I babysit a kid. Just today, we went to a park with a friend of his sisters who was going to look after him when I left. He brought handheld games and just wanted to play with them. I snuck them back to his place when he was playing with other kids. I’m going to tell him tomorrow “I’m sorry, I must have forgot. I was in a hurry to leave.” If he wanted to sit and play games, he could have stayed home.
First story: Oh my goodness gracious!! This is an actual first. We have a parent that is upset that their child is (gasp) actually making up ways to bond with their step-siblings? Say it isn't so!!
15:17 wait didn't he say she doesn't pay bills but she has a job and wants extra spending money from him that he safes for there kid's schooling how is that not the same as a gold digger
Wine mum... It was absolutely right to ask about her drinking right then and there at the waterpark. Did Shelly put the "mum treats" away instantly or did she drink them anyway? There's the answer to her being an alcoholic or not.
DAUGHTER WAS TOUGHT WELL , FROM HER MOTHER &. STEP WRINKLE IS JEALOUS BECAUSE THE FUN INTERACTION CAME FROM HER , KNOWING MOTHER KNOWS HOW 2 PARENT . EVEN TOUGHT HER DAUGHTER HOW 2 BE A BETTER MOTHER THEN HER. JEALOUS WRINKLE STEP MONSTER
Thank you for your videos! Also as of late (like last few months or less) I am really enjoying your new background videography! They seem really genuine and not stock footage. Not sure if you are the one getting the imagery, but it feels and looks completely individual. Plus the editing is very good and calming.
I live in Atlanta. People don’t drink any more here than people in the other states and cities that I have lived. This lady clearly has alcoholism. Being an alcoholic is not normal in Atlanta.
Re: Water saving . NTA. I know smokers who have motivated themselves to quit by doing this: They figure out they spend X amount of money on cigarettes. They determine if they spend less money, then they will have X -- Cigarette Money to spend on something else they like. One in particular was very into children's meals as charity work. So she would smoke less to pay for a meal for a child who would otherwise go hungry.
The photos are paid for by the bride & groom. Why does the sister need the pictures, my parents wedding pictures are only kept in our family. Sil is entitled.
S1: D is 17. I hope ex has thought ahead what will happen if D says " ta ta, bye bye" and "I have better things to do with my life than sit on a couch watching Open Sesame, Noddy and Bob the Builder again and again" Grounded? Are they insane?
First story: I could not stop laughing!!! The backward ass logic of the dad. But tbh he is probably mad cos he realized his daughter had a point. Wedding Photos: the irony of SIL, who purposely wore white to someone else’s wedding, calling OP insecure. & The last commenter is the SIL or someone who would do the same.
1st Story: NTA. Oh no! God forbid ex’s kids have to… I dunno.. actually participate in life instead of sit in front of a screen! Idc if both parents work full time, in my opinion, screen time should still be in moderation or not at all. They’re still super young and should be interacting with other people, children, and doing enriching age appropriate activities. Good for your daughter for actually wanting to spend time with them. Even if that meant turning off the wifi.
I don't get all the furor about a wedding guest wearing anything that has a touch of white in it. For goodness sake .... OP said the SIL work an outfit with a white top and a black bottom (skirt/pants) ...... Holy crap .... she wasn't in all white! 45 years ago a friend from school invited me and my son (she was his nursery school teacher) to her wedding. I initially declined explaining to her that I didn't have anything to wear except for the one suit that I made for church (white broad cloth jacket and skirt that I world different blouses with to change things up .... but that was it ..... everything else I had was too casual ..... I had no $'s to spend) ...... She told me don't worry about it, it's just a white suit, it is not a wedding dress and me coming was more important than what I wore. Guess what ...... I wasn't the only person in the pews wearing something white ..... pure white ...... dresses, skirts, blouses, white hats, white shoes, shite cloves, white purses, etc. And no one gave a shit about what anyone was wearing.
Story 3 NTA!! Do NOT let the partner move in especially if they plan to quit their job whilst I'm assuming have nothing else lined up so how long will this arrangement last especially as they're unwilling to compromise and look after the house whilst OP provides financially??? Tell the partner to NOT quit their job, sign/renew a temporary lease and look for another job that they enjoy and can stick to and be able to offer something to the relationship and THEN you can discuss them moving in and how to split things equally. I can see the "50/50 split" maybe lasting a month or so till they've established residency then stopping completely and then OP has a lazy AH living with them that they have to evict legally.
i have ocd and if someone did what op is doing with shelby when i was a kid i would be better off and would have needed less intensive therapy when i was older
whenever I care for children (my own, nieces, nephews and daughter's friends) I avoid all alcohol. it's just best to have all your wits about and I take no chances on the young. every second loss from confusion or impairment can be the difference of running the child to the hospital or running into a tree.
Not to mention the fact that it teaches your kids that it's normal and ok to never be without a glass (bottle) of wine. I wonder how much more she drinks when she's at home.
Nta Ooh. Nope they need to have a job. Otherwise op and their partner are gonna have problems. The problem will be the partner being a lazy piece of crap.
Im a stay at home dad atm kind of, still have to take care of businesses when wife is not at her office, i do not touch a drop of alcohol when im with my kidos full stop.
I agree, you should tell your daughter not to babysit for her dad's kids anymore. He wants to be a control freak let him find another sitter. He's probably mad bc his kids will realize they prefer a human to their devices and then he and his wife will have to spend time with them. When you can have a computer, ipad, video game or television watch your kid when you're home why bother? (Sarcasm)
The first story isn’t about his teen undermining their parent, What’s pissed him off is his kids had fun without tech and probably wanted more of the same from the parents, So he’s miffed he may have to actual participate in caring for them rather than sending them away with tablets and tv so they won’t bother him and his wife … He’s mad he might actually need to engage with his children if they realise there is more than tech in life …
Story 1, the mother of the daughter shouldn't make excuses for the ex's kids being constantly on devices. Kids shouldn't be stuck to screen constantly, it stunts their social development and constantly stimulates their brains and makes them difficult to teach. Good on mother for not punishing her daughter but quit making excuses for the ex and his wife who probably jump on their devices as soon as they come home.
Shelby has OCD and is in therapy for it. What the father did was find a compassionate and positive way to help her get better control of it and it worked. Punishment for OCD only makes it worse and can cause additional mental issues.
@@bren6967 Yeah, I think I remember hearing a term for this: "Reward to control". What OP did was help her develop self-control by dangling a carrot in front of her, so to speak. Hopefully it can continue when she moves out of the house in a few years even without the financial incentive. And to the person who started this thread: Shelby is a child. Along with the OCD (which is a mental illness that needs to be treated at this level), that is why she can't pay the bill.
It’s SUCH round-about thinking to suggest the “wine mom” trend is what causes alcoholism in moms, and not the other way around. Being a mom sucks, way more people should choose to NOT to it. THAT is whats dangerous in our culture, the drive to convince women to procreate.
S4 NTA you said something to her, drop it and don't drink you don't have to. She has a drinking problem. She got offended because you pointed out she's not normal.
For the wedding story, you shouldn’t wear white to a western wedding as a primary or secondary color. You could maybe get away with it as a tertiary color, but that’s still pushing it. NTA, her SIL did that on purpose.
I don't get the YTA on story 2... Yes, people are particular about their wedding photos because they are PAYING A LOT for them.. If I'm shelling out several hundred dollars for photos of my event, you better damn well believe I'm having them exactly to my liking. SIL can get good pictures on her own dime, not use OPs wedding as a free photo shoot.
I wouldn't be surprised if that was the sil. Op hadn't said anything about not wearing anything white to the wedding or said she couldn't have the photos. All she did was change the ones she wanted out and told sil that she had to pay for the originals if she really wanted them. I'm guessing that sil wanted professional photos at no cost to herself.
That commenter missed the point. The SIL _wanted_ to upstage the bride. "I look good in white." Ok, but this is a wedding, not your personal photo shoot.
It’s because of the hypocrisy for me. “Why do you care about the white top?!?” As if she didn’t have said top edited so that SIL “didn’t stand out” as much. I think it’s a solid ESH tbh op sucks for acting like SIL is the only person who cares about how the pictures came out but obviously SIL shouldn’t be talking behind ops back when she was given the chance to pay for the unedited pictures.
@@MageMalice disagree. They aren't pictures for the SIL. They're for the couple. A white top DOES stand out amongst non white clothing, and in wedding pictures the bride and the groom should stand out. Besides, the top was only edited in pictures were the SIL and the bride were together. The SIL could have her fancy little shirt in every other photo, but she's bothered that she's not matching with the bride????
@@MageMalice There's no hypocrisy here. SIL wore the white top specifically to stand out in _someone else's wedding._ If that isn't tacky, you tell me what is.
What a horrible babysitter! Where can I hire her?
I bet she takes them outside to the park too and they get al tired and dirty and stuff
Horrible babysitter. I bet her charges (cringe) laughed out loud.
Wedding picture story: I think what Reddit missed is that the OP does NOT owe anyone pictures of her wedding, not even the married couple’s parents. If SIL wants different pictures. Tough luck. She needs to considered herself blessed that OP gave her free photos. Those cost a lot of money!
100% this. OP didn't make a scene at SiL's outfit-- she didn't say anything. She just made adjustments to //some// of the wedding photos, and a slight one at that. She was even willing to get the originals for SiL until the photographer said it would cost. OP isn't obligated to pay so SiL can have her white top in the photo. Some of the responses were just too eager to call her a Bridezilla.
@@rachelranderson I couldn’t agree with you more!
If I'm driving a child around to a park, etc... I REFUSE to drink because that small child is my responsibility. Even if I am NOT driving, if I am in a public place and there's a possibility that the child can get into trouble, I'd rather keep my wits about me. That wine mom is scary in that she ALWAYS brings alcohol to the meetups. This is NOT healthy.
Op should ask that friend if knowing about sherry's love of wine would let her kids get in the car with her. sometimes uncomfortable things have to to be talked about.
I'm pretty sure most alcoholics initially get defensive when their drinking is talked about so that's probably why "wine mom" got so mad at OP.
The daughter sounds like a fun babysitter in the first story. Also it’s true, new generation kids are addicted to their screens, than the outside. But back then when I was growing up, those things did not exist.
those things that exist. ? those things did not exist.
Also, adults basically ruined all the infrastructure that used to allow kids to play outside with each other safely. And then made it illegal for kids to play without adult supervision.
I think OP should ground daughter from babysitting Ex's kids for the rest of the year...lmao!!!
I live in a motel and there are many low income families here. The kids here roam the outdoors in a group all the time. Don't know if it's heartwarming but scary or scary but heartwarming. Keep waiting for Pennywise to show up or something. They Look like kids in an 80's or 90's coming of age movie
Dad doesn't want her engaging with them, because that means if she does he does. It's much easier for him to shove a tablet in their faces then play with them
Story 2: NTA. “I look really good in white” isn’t a excuse you should use at a wedding. Honestly if it bothered me PERIOD she would have been kicked out of the wedding.
Plus the fact is she edited the top she didn't edit sister-in-law at all. Sounds like the sister-in-law is just entitled and she specifically did that so she could be the center of attention otherwise why would she be so upset. The "oh I look good in white" excuse is a bunch of crap that's like going to a party where the color scheme is a specific color and you choosing not to because oh I don't like that color. Also if it was really about the top she would have paid the extra cost to get the photos she just wanted to have her photos done at OP's cost. The sister-in-law should just be grateful she got any photos OP could have just gotten the ones that she wanted for her house and not given any copies to sister-in-law.
And I presume you'd also kick out any men wearing a white shirt?
@@frankhooper7871 I would kick out any men who wore a white suit.
@@frankhooper7871 No because men wearing white isn’t the issue. Were as a woman wearing white is. And yes I know it’s “Just a shirt” but even that’s too much of some people.
It was a white top. Not a white dress. OP was jealous because OP thought SIL was better looking. OP should get over herself. I am guessing there were plenty of guys in white shirts. Maybe even suits. Maybe better looking than the husband. Why not photoshop those people with a big red clown nose? OP is just joined the family and it is starting off with acts of jealousy on OP's side. Sorry to say this but if SIL looks better wearing casual dress up than OP one her wedding day looking her best, OP is in for a long time of doubt, self loathing, and instant jealous.
1st story: Reward your daughter for doing such a great thing with the sibs. Your ex is an absolute idiot and lazy parent. He is just mad because now the sibs might actually want to interact with him and his wife and do activities with them.
🎯
Oh yeah reward her for lying and manipulating the people around her because she felt like it was right. 👍 Great way to teach your kids.
That's how dictators are made.
Why didn't she ask the kids to play? Why did she have to lie and manipulate them into doing what she wanted them to do. They call it "screen time"... That could mean anything from tv to video games . Op also explains that their family normally aren't on screens all the time so why does she get to decide what's too much? It varies person to person it's an opinion.
So to track mom's logic it's ok that her daughter ,who was being paid, unilaterally decided to lie to the kids she was watching and forced them off the things they'd rather do to make them play with her. The post literally doesn't even say the kids enjoyed it.
That's just the tip of the iceberg not even going into the "what ifs". What if they don't like her? What if they want to avoid her and do so by playing on the phone or computer?
She completely took away their choices in the matter and that doesn't deserve a reward.
Meanwhile dad understands and even says that what she did was controlling AF.
But sure give the girl a cookie and tell her it's ok to lie and manipulate and control the people around her to get what she wants out of it.
Alcoholics almost never admit to being alcoholic.
If she can’t go without a drink she IS an alcoholic.
I’d wait until she leaves & report her anonymously for driving under the influence
Should have called the cops long ago, driving under the influence, endangering the life of a minor. She has her kids in the car.
EXACTLY!!!
Last story: If OP and his wife make about the same amount of money, he pays all the bills and still has enough to give Shelby $500 AND invest the rest of the water bill savings, maybe OP needs to ask Tara what the hell she’s spending her paychecks on that she needs to get her hands on the money of her 14 year old daughter!
Shopping habits, gambling addictions flashy lifestyle, secret lover the possibilities are endless. Course it could be innocent but Reddit rarely turns out wholesome.
i was surpriced at this too. This woman is a golddiggerr
It's a seriously accurate question I didn't even think of it that way but damn yeah
His wife (and apparently the mother of the 14-year-old on paper only) has no concept of family. She's in this relationship for herself ONLY. She pays no bills? Contributes nothing to her daughter's future? Wants to essentially steal from her daughter?
OP needs to realize that he's being taken advantage of, and that his daughter is probably being mistreated in some way (I have no doubt the wife is ashamed of having a child with a disability which has aided in her selfish preference to be emotional disconnected from the girl). There's no way being around this toxic mother is good for handling the anxiety associated with OCD. I'm not sure how close the daughter is to 15, but he should file for divorce then and sue for full custody based on the "mother's" behavior. His wife works, so he won't pay alimony. Her world will be very different when she has to pay child support and her own bills.
Yeah like does she have some huge debt he doesn’t know about?
No, I would never allow a partner to quit their job, move in without paying rent, bills, food, gas, etc. A stay-at-home partner who doesn't actually do anything? What a leech!
Of course wine mom is upset .. she’s a drunk who got found out.. so she’s turning it around blaming her being a busy body
I really hate how the "wine mom" thing is so common and normalized now. I see crap like that on t-shirts, pajamas (all women's apparel) whenever I go into Walmart or target to look at clothes. I also see it on other things marketed to women like accessories and kitchen things like potholders and hand towels. It's always all jokey like "haha, mom needs her wine time" or whatever, but it's really disturbing to me. Ew. OP was trying to help but Sherry is only going to get angry and defensive, she's in denial that she has a problem.
@@jaymel4691 yep.. it’s promoting cutesy alcohol abuse .. it’s not cute.. I lived with a drunk for years and NOTHING about it was cute
If the conversation was between the 2 of them, who told everybody else? probably Sherry, whining about how OP tried to shame her, if Sherry didn't talk about OP behind her back, nobody probably would've even known what was said, she shamed herself.
@@arleneclark6369 I’m sure the whole group has noticed how much she drinks… my daughters mil was a practicing drunk but nobody wanted to see it till she started dragging a box of wine with her everywhere she went.. of course I was the bad guy cause I said something to my kid and told I was just jealous… of what? A drunk??!!
@@lillyvonshtup7314 Yeah true and you're definitely not the bad guy , somebody needs to speak up, good on you👍
I am a stay-at-home spouse. You know what I do all day? I clean, cook, drive my partner to/from work, take care of our dog, coordinate the household finances, do the shopping, do the laundry, and handle small maintenance needs (or call someone for big problems).
You know what my partner does? They work 10+ hours, bring in the big bucks, and take out trash on weekends.
That is division of labor. If OP's partner doesn't have a job, they need to step the heck up.
The story of the babysitting sister: The dad is angry because he is afraid the kids are going to ask of them as parents the same time and playtime from them and they aren't willing/unable to provide it for whatever reason. The father has that dynamic in place to work on his schedule and the older kid going out of his own preferences puts a ding on that.
The wine mom story: here's the thing, addicts hate being called out on their addicted behaviors, especially if they haven't started any kind of recovery plan. That doesn't mean you shouldn't gently call her out. She does sound like she is probably a functioning alcoholic. Without outside intervention or hitting rock bottom, addicted brains very much prefer to stay on the course of addiction. Yes, this will cause drama and, because her addicted brain now sees you as a threat to her addiction, she's going to start actively trying to push you away so she can continue justifying her unhealthy behaviors.
This is huge. And when they drink with others who drink like they do, it becomes an echo chamber. They don't realize just how bad their addiction is because they haven't been around other people who don't normalize this heavy kind of drinking. It's surprising how common this kind of thing has become.
As a former “wine mom”, it IS hard to stop on your own and thank goodness I had the support of my family. But it DID mess my kids up something awful 😞. It is WAY too easy to start and horribly hard to stop
That's absolutely true. I am a recovering alcoholic (2 years sober yay) and that is the exact behavior that led me to addiction. At first, it was a glass here in a gathering or another, then every outing had drinks on it, then every outing was an excuse to drink and then there I was drinking half of a bottle of vodka every day. The big problem? No one thought my drinking was a problem until it got really bad, not even my family, everyone thought it was normal so I did too.
I have a cousin that is a functioning alcoholic and she's pretty cool not that it has to do with the story lol
@@Raaslen Congratulations on your 2 years!! Good for you.
1st story every parent should wish for a daughter like that
Facts she sounds like an awesome sister
Daughter is wrong
@@CKYHALO Are you OP's ex? You sound like them
@@cyn1clcynide no you don’t lie to kids .
I know I do🥰
Story 2: it's the bride (and groom's) party and she can gray if she wants to. Especially if she pays hundreds or thousands for the pictures.
Why did I hear this set to Leslie Gore's song?
@@nancyomalley6286 I heard it too: 🎶~
It's bride's party and she can gray if she wants to
gray if she wants to
gray if she wants to
You would gray too if it happened to you.🎶
That was the intention
@@NotAFanOfHandles LOL!
Oh how fun it would have been if the bride and groom had decided to have all of their wedding photos developed in sepia tone ...... it would not have been possible for the white top to be white in the picture.
Don’t allow partner to move in before they find their job. They will just mooch mooch mooch! They want to be jobless, and hates the idea of doing the house work? It’s ridiculous to expect a free ride cause work is hard…..I am a stay home person. I do 99% of home work inside and outside. Mowing ,painting, all cleaning , laundry, and cooking is on me. Except bleach the shower cause I get very very ill with bleach. I never say a word, I am so incredibly grateful to this arrangement.
Story 1: I can see why he's an ex. Heaven forbid if she and the kids start building with Lego.
Oh the horror of that! Then they end up on the floor and blend in with the carpet so that you step on them in your bare feet! She needs to be stopped immediately! 😵💫
@@dizzysdoings If I had a dime for every Lego I have stepped on, I would have taken that money and bought my kids more Legos.😁
OP's daughter is a genius. She thought up a, very, believable excuse to get the kids away from their screens. Shame on OP's ex for his boorish behavior. I would not be surprised if the 17 year old refused to visit him anymore. He is a douchebag.
@@dizzysdoings Legos are one reason I don't go barefoot!
@@eywine.7762 My kids are grown and out of the house, so I no longer have that worry.
About 17yo babysitting: I have personal "horror" story. When my brother married his wife, we get 3yo as his stepson. He was as called in story "Screen" baby, he always had ipad with him. It was awful, he couldnt speak normally, only some strange sounds. It took my brother 3 years to make something decent from him.
Hi i'm from the ATL too. Sherri does not speak for us. Drinking is normal yes but i'm pretty sure bringing WINE to an event with CHILDREN is something no sane parent does
"brides need to get over themselves" says the commenter in a story where the person wearing white is pitching a fit because "she looks good in white" and has to have those photos. Someone is being narcissistic here but it isn't OP.
Our family used to do regular monthly "tech break" where all electronics were off limits for 24 hours, for all family members. We painted, played games, did crafts, read books, went for walks, and much more.
Story 1: NTA. Worst case scenario is you tell her not to do it again. But what’s your Ex’s damage? Is he so scared of interacting with his children that the mear idea of them starting to like something other than being online is a punishable offense?
It would be one thing if she broke the wifi like destroyed the router or something.
The only thing I can think of is that she didn't cut the wifi back on when her dad came back. Even then...so what?
@@nicolelawrence7722 Or the kids are now getting away from their screens and interacting with their parents more, wanting to actually do stuff with them. Oh, the horror!/s
@@nicolelawrence7722 She probably didn't push that little button to turn the router back on or the kids told their dad they had the best time ever today even though the wifi was broken. They played some really cool games like hide and seek and Red Rover and why haven't you taught us those, Daddy? Sis is cool! C'mon, Daddy, lets go play Red Rover!!
@@bunnyslippers191 I was thinking some cut throat Uno with the draw 20 cards. 😏
But we're speaking the same language.
2nd story... That's exactly why I will have a dress code on the wedding invitations!
"Oh, but I look good in white and wanted good photos." You may, but not at MY wedding, especially after being asked to not wear these two colours.
Story 3: NTA. I would have never even humored the idea. I’m of the opinion that if you can work you need to. That being said your conditions sounded more than reasonable. I think they were just hoping to leach off of you.
Don't let partner move in. Rethink a future with this person as this was a big red flag!
If if I was OP in the story I would be telling the ex that he no longer gets the benefit of our daughter‘s babysitting anymore if he’s going to be angry at her for actually spending time with her own siblings! Also parents do shit like this all the time to get their kids to stop doing things. This is a fun nice memory and sibling bonding moment for those kids that this idiot is ruining
Sherry sounds like a high functioning alcoholic. She would down a bottle of wine every time; and then proceed to presumably drive her children home? Call CPS. She isn’t becoming an addict; she is an addict.
1st Story: Dad is upset because he has shown how much of a failure as a parent and a human being he is.
Final Story: NTA. You just said she wanted the money, SHE’s the one who jumped to gold digger. Your doing good OP.
So, she turned off wifi and gave them actual family interaction? As these kids get older, I guarantee they will value the memory of playing games w their sister, and likely won't recall what they did with the wifi babysitter! Shame on dad! He has his feefees hurt because his daughter showed him up in the family interaction dept.! NTA!
Yup. You can tell the narrowmindedness of the older commenter (btw I'm old as dirt, too), not understanding how much photos/photography services cost and the new way photos are done, theses days.
The photos are of the couples day, first and foremost. If the guest wants some photos of herself done up her way, then the guest can pay for them, herself. Otherwise, the guest can go pay for her own photo shoot.
Or, maybe the guest could have taken out her own phone, and got someone to shoot a few photos of her, for her own sake.Entitled SIL.
This 100%
Re: Wine o'clock. NTA. But also, a waterpark? The waterparks/swimming pools where I grew up 40 years ago didn't allow glass containers as a safety issue. I would not be pleased to see someone with a bottle there. That is not okay.
Yeah, how did she smuggle that in? She's going to get the whole group kicked out of Disneyland-or other park-someday!
Heck, I remember a water park I went to inspecting our bags for food or drinks when we entered. Maybe her cooler has a false bottom.
They do make mini bottles of wine in plastic now, but going to water parks with alcohol was a big NO in the 90's. I can't imagine things have changed that much.
.....soooo the daughter is being punished for actually wanting to spend quality time with her siblings and step siblings?
In story 1 why do I get the feeling dad had wifi cameras and that's how he learned she was messing with the wifi
Story one: he is mad that his daughter cut down screen time for his kids??? Wow
The wine story reminds me of a dream I hope to fulfill
To become rich enough to go to a wine auction and buy the most expensive, sought after bottle of wine. Then, invite everyone round, thinking they're going to sample this rarity
Then put it in the spag bol I'm cooking
I hope you realize that dream. Just awesome.
@Gi Gi Okaaay. I had to re-read your comment and realize you weren't the original poster here. And that you really were making a rocky mountain oysters type play on spaghetti bolognese.
Story 1 NTA and agree with the comments! Dads upset as bet that the kids probably now want him to do things with them instead of being glued to the screen and they can't handle that!! Give the daughter praise for recognizing the issue and finding a harmless way to engage her sibs, and tell the dad good luck as my niece and nephew when they were younger were like this and it took a lot of effort and tantrums to change their screen time habits and this will affect them as they get older
Story 1: the ex is pissed because he doesn’t want the kids to start asking him to engage with them the way the daughter does.
Story 2: was just thinking SIL was piggy backing on the wedding shoot to get free photos of herself and yep, that was the next thing OP said.
Wedding Photo story: NTA, she's lucky that's all you had done to the photos. I would have added extra fingers to see if she noticed those too.
Tell your partner that you are not their sugar mammy/daddy. I think the relationship ship has come to an end
is the babysitter not "the parent" while the parents are out ? so she has the right to decide within the guide lines !
I was left by myself a lot as a kid... but even though I had a DS I spent a lot of time not in front of a screen. I did a lot of drawing, and even stuff like hand-sewing. I had no siblings that I lived with until I was 11.
I'm amongst the oldest of gen Z (turning 25. yeah. that's how old some of us are already) and I really cannot see a good justification for letting your kid be mainly on a tablet, especially when they're young. The rest of us made do, and it helps with both imagination and developing skills.
I couldn’t agree more about the whole wine mom nonsense. I raised 3 kids sober. Now all I see is tshirts, mugs and other paraphernalia with the whole wine nonsense. It’s NOT normal.
Second story you're not in the wrong here you just edited the photos and made the white into a more grayish color. She knew that she was wearing a white to a wedding and she knew that this could possibly cause some form of controversy she's only upset that you wouldn't cave and let it be for her. You're not in the wrong here but you need to be prepared for your sister-in-law to give you the cold shoulder every chance you get because of it she needs to be very lucky that you didn't delete her out of every photo at the wedding. You're not in the wrong here but you do realize that it's just something for you
i look good in white so i take a white blouse too your wedding ergo i wanted to upstage the bride. And now bride is altering the photo's course she is insecure.. Yeah that sums it up Op aint tah
I've worn a white top to a wedding before. It wasn't a dress. I wore a white top with an orange and red wrap skirt. She came up to me and took pictures of me with my daughter, took pictures of us together, sent it to me, posted it online with all the other pictures of the wedding. It wasn't a big deal at all, and no one cared.
@@MargaritaOnTheRox congratulations, you got lucky. Wearing white at a wedding is disrespectful, immature, and wrong. Everyone knows this. It’s not hard to avoid white FOR ONE DAY.
@@MargaritaOnTheRox i won't care either but the words i look great in white, gives away the purpose. It is trying to upstage the bride that makes her an ah. If she wore any other colour with the same purpose, she still was an ah. You NEVER try to upstage the bride.
@@paulinadeboer3604 I wasn’t aware wearing clothes/colors you look great in to a wedding instantly meant you were just trying to upstage the host and not, you know, looking great since there’s a chance you’ll end up in pictures? Imo some of these comments take the “don’t wear white to a wedding” bit a little far if wearing a TOP Is the same as a dress. Ig SIL would still suck if she were wearing a white skirt instead just because it’s white and she looks good in it.
Story 4: NTA. I think your within your right to be concerned about a woman you’ve LITERALLY never seen without alcohol around your children. If she wants to get sloashed on her own time good on her, but that can be dangerous around kids.
I'm from Wisconsin and I still am surprised if people drink at baby showers or kids' birthday parties. I definitely think I'd be a bit put off if someone pulled out a bottle at a waterpark or even a playground. Save that for when you're safe at home, please. Or when you don't have to drive your child home. I can't imagine the guilt I'd feel if she got into an accident on her way home and the kid got hurt and I knew she drank a bottle of wine before leaving. 😬 no one with a problem is going to react well to being called out though. Especially when it's only one person saying they think there might be an issue. And this is where we get into interventions.
Story 1: I bet the only way they found out about the daughter turning the WiFi off is because the kids asked the parents to play a game instead of watching tv after dinner
Or, more likely, she forgot to turn it back on before the parents got home and wanted to use it.
OP needs to clarify what his wife does with her money. He says he’s the one paying all the bills so I’m assuming everything including the mortgage. Does she spend it on groceries and medications? Or is she saving? Is she spending recklessly that she’s out of money each paycheck? I’ve seen some people say “I pay all the bills” when in reality their partner pays half or all of other bills.
I babysit a kid. Just today, we went to a park with a friend of his sisters who was going to look after him when I left. He brought handheld games and just wanted to play with them. I snuck them back to his place when he was playing with other kids. I’m going to tell him tomorrow “I’m sorry, I must have forgot. I was in a hurry to leave.” If he wanted to sit and play games, he could have stayed home.
First story: Oh my goodness gracious!! This is an actual first. We have a parent that is upset that their child is (gasp) actually making up ways to bond with their step-siblings? Say it isn't so!!
She didn't harm the kids, she played with them. The ex should be happy that all his kids get well. NTA.
Nta. Your ex and his wife are horrible parents. The daughter was perfectly fine. The dad is being controlling and abusive.
Story 2: I hate weddings now, it's official.
Last story: if Tara has a good job with good money and pays no bills...she should have NOTHING but spending money...
15:17 wait didn't he say she doesn't pay bills but she has a job and wants extra spending money from him that he safes for there kid's schooling how is that not the same as a gold digger
Wine mum... It was absolutely right to ask about her drinking right then and there at the waterpark. Did Shelly put the "mum treats" away instantly or did she drink them anyway? There's the answer to her being an alcoholic or not.
Story 1: lol I have the same problem with the WIFI in my house but it never happens on cold/rainy days when the kids can't go out.
DAUGHTER WAS TOUGHT WELL , FROM HER MOTHER &. STEP WRINKLE IS JEALOUS BECAUSE THE FUN INTERACTION CAME FROM HER , KNOWING MOTHER KNOWS HOW 2 PARENT . EVEN TOUGHT HER DAUGHTER HOW 2 BE A BETTER MOTHER THEN HER. JEALOUS WRINKLE STEP MONSTER
First story nta, who grounds a 17yr old lol, shes an adult
S1: OP could punish her by not allowing her babysits for free anymore. 😂
Thank you for your videos!
Also as of late (like last few months or less) I am really enjoying your new background videography! They seem really genuine and not stock footage. Not sure if you are the one getting the imagery, but it feels and looks completely individual. Plus the editing is very good and calming.
I live in Atlanta. People don’t drink any more here than people in the other states and cities that I have lived. This lady clearly has alcoholism. Being an alcoholic is not normal in Atlanta.
Thankfully being an Alcoholic isn't normal in any place.
Re: Water saving . NTA. I know smokers who have motivated themselves to quit by doing this: They figure out they spend X amount of money on cigarettes. They determine if they spend less money, then they will have X -- Cigarette Money to spend on something else they like. One in particular was very into children's meals as charity work. So she would smoke less to pay for a meal for a child who would otherwise go hungry.
Nta. Why did sil wear white to another's wedding? Sil is toxic. Sil is an attention hog.
The photos are paid for by the bride & groom. Why does the sister need the pictures, my parents wedding pictures are only kept in our family. Sil is entitled.
Story 1, NTI, your ex is doing a fair job of alienating his daughter
S1: D is 17. I hope ex has thought ahead what will happen if D says " ta ta, bye bye" and "I have better things to do with my life than sit on a couch watching Open Sesame, Noddy and Bob the Builder again and again"
Grounded? Are they insane?
First story: I could not stop laughing!!! The backward ass logic of the dad. But tbh he is probably mad cos he realized his daughter had a point.
Wedding Photos: the irony of SIL, who purposely wore white to someone else’s wedding, calling OP insecure. & The last commenter is the SIL or someone who would do the same.
1st Story: NTA. Oh no! God forbid ex’s kids have to… I dunno.. actually participate in life instead of sit in front of a screen! Idc if both parents work full time, in my opinion, screen time should still be in moderation or not at all. They’re still super young and should be interacting with other people, children, and doing enriching age appropriate activities. Good for your daughter for actually wanting to spend time with them. Even if that meant turning off the wifi.
I don't get all the furor about a wedding guest wearing anything that has a touch of white in it. For goodness sake .... OP said the SIL work an outfit with a white top and a black bottom (skirt/pants) ...... Holy crap .... she wasn't in all white!
45 years ago a friend from school invited me and my son (she was his nursery school teacher) to her wedding. I initially declined explaining to her that I didn't have anything to wear except for the one suit that I made for church (white broad cloth jacket and skirt that I world different blouses with to change things up .... but that was it ..... everything else I had was too casual ..... I had no $'s to spend) ...... She told me don't worry about it, it's just a white suit, it is not a wedding dress and me coming was more important than what I wore. Guess what ...... I wasn't the only person in the pews wearing something white ..... pure white ...... dresses, skirts, blouses, white hats, white shoes, shite cloves, white purses, etc. And no one gave a shit about what anyone was wearing.
Story 3 NTA!! Do NOT let the partner move in especially if they plan to quit their job whilst I'm assuming have nothing else lined up so how long will this arrangement last especially as they're unwilling to compromise and look after the house whilst OP provides financially??? Tell the partner to NOT quit their job, sign/renew a temporary lease and look for another job that they enjoy and can stick to and be able to offer something to the relationship and THEN you can discuss them moving in and how to split things equally.
I can see the "50/50 split" maybe lasting a month or so till they've established residency then stopping completely and then OP has a lazy AH living with them that they have to evict legally.
I live in Atlanta., no one drinks like that. She’s a drunk
Sherry is a day drinking mommy. A maintenance drunk
i have ocd and if someone did what op is doing with shelby when i was a kid i would be better off and would have needed less intensive therapy when i was older
Said the commentators who wear white, propose, announce a pregnancy or come out as gay at a wedding, all to upstage the bride and groom. LMAO
“I specifically chose to wear white at your wedding because ME. How dare you not recognize the priority I take over everything!” 🙄
whenever I care for children (my own, nieces, nephews and daughter's friends) I avoid all alcohol. it's just best to have all your wits about and I take no chances on the young. every second loss from confusion or impairment can be the difference of running the child to the hospital or running into a tree.
Not to mention the fact that it teaches your kids that it's normal and ok to never be without a glass (bottle) of wine. I wonder how much more she drinks when she's at home.
Nta. I think the crazy wedding sil found OPs post.
Nta Ooh. Nope they need to have a job. Otherwise op and their partner are gonna have problems. The problem will be the partner being a lazy piece of crap.
1st story: I bet it was the step mom who had a problem with the daughter creating activities for her kids. I wouldn't let her babysit them anymore.
Tell the Ex, the daughter will not be babysitting again, due the fact she will get grounded constantly.
Its passive aggressive....she is trying to undermine you and is jealous. Tell her to take a flying leap.
If someone uses your wedding for family photos, simply dont make those photos with only them in it.
Im a stay at home dad atm kind of, still have to take care of businesses when wife is not at her office, i do not touch a drop of alcohol when im with my kidos full stop.
I agree, you should tell your daughter not to babysit for her dad's kids anymore. He wants to be a control freak let him find another sitter. He's probably mad bc his kids will realize they prefer a human to their devices and then he and his wife will have to spend time with them. When you can have a computer, ipad, video game or television watch your kid when you're home why bother? (Sarcasm)
The first story isn’t about his teen undermining their parent, What’s pissed him off is his kids had fun without tech and probably wanted more of the same from the parents, So he’s miffed he may have to actual participate in caring for them rather than sending them away with tablets and tv so they won’t bother him and his wife … He’s mad he might actually need to engage with his children if they realise there is more than tech in life …
Where did your investment go up? Everyone else's is going down!
Here's the usual, WOW I'M SO EARLY comment lol love your channel dude!
Story 1, the mother of the daughter shouldn't make excuses for the ex's kids being constantly on devices. Kids shouldn't be stuck to screen constantly, it stunts their social development and constantly stimulates their brains and makes them difficult to teach. Good on mother for not punishing her daughter but quit making excuses for the ex and his wife who probably jump on their devices as soon as they come home.
1st story- NTA. So exhusban want his young children addicted to screen time so he and his wife don't have to be bothered with their own children.
My partner said they wouldnt.....???? Oh wait a minute, I guess Im just to old
Hope you don't let that person move in run fast there using u
I can't stand wine. My friends don't drink when they are together. It is so ridiculous that it is the norm.
Nta. She can turn the water off when the hands are not in the water. Shelby is a wasteful person. Maybe shelby should pay the water bill
Shelby has OCD and is in therapy for it. What the father did was find a compassionate and positive way to help her get better control of it and it worked. Punishment for OCD only makes it worse and can cause additional mental issues.
@@bren6967 Yeah, I think I remember hearing a term for this: "Reward to control". What OP did was help her develop self-control by dangling a carrot in front of her, so to speak. Hopefully it can continue when she moves out of the house in a few years even without the financial incentive.
And to the person who started this thread: Shelby is a child. Along with the OCD (which is a mental illness that needs to be treated at this level), that is why she can't pay the bill.
It might not be the dad, but the stepmom speaking through the dad,
It’s SUCH round-about thinking to suggest the “wine mom” trend is what causes alcoholism in moms, and not the other way around. Being a mom sucks, way more people should choose to NOT to it. THAT is whats dangerous in our culture, the drive to convince women to procreate.
S4 NTA you said something to her, drop it and don't drink you don't have to. She has a drinking problem.
She got offended because you pointed out she's not normal.
For the wedding story, you shouldn’t wear white to a western wedding as a primary or secondary color. You could maybe get away with it as a tertiary color, but that’s still pushing it. NTA, her SIL did that on purpose.
Letting a screen raise your children is not parenting.
I'll just sit the wine story out haha Hispanic parties always have alcohol wether it for an adult or child