Start the new year with purpose! Experience personalized courses on avoidants, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days! attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?Ux_OR5RYcOA&el=youtube Start Here: th-cam.com/video/Qa11KTYzDdw/w-d-xo.html
I identify as a secure attachment style, I had never dated an avoidant until my Ex it was a roller coaster of emotions and when it end literally overnight it left me so confused as to what had just happened.
Yup, that's why these "what would a secure do?" Type videos are bs. Only time a secure person would behave exactly like this, is early on before there is a lot of attraction and toxic behavior in the relationship. I don't see why everyone frames these relationships are purely avoidant-anxious when roughly 50% of the population is secure...
Wow! I just had to separate from DA and this made me feel so validated. I think I'm finally more securely attached instead of FA. It's hard to practice a new way of showing up and letting people show me who they are then setting boundaries. But if this gets me closer to the healthy love I want....so be it! Nothing changes if nothing changes. So grateful that I have done work on myself enough to finally figure this out.
I recently experienced a challenging split. It has been really difficult since my five-year relationship ended a few months ago. My ex-boyfriend is still very much in my heart, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Nothing has worked in my attempts to get him back, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. I realize it may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and think about him constantly.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
I simply used your useful information to look him up online. Amazing I looked up Father Obah Eze online, and he seems like a sincere person. Again, thank you ❤
Ha, I asked my ex how long it would take for him to want to commit.. he said a year!!! I said well I’m on a different time line, I think we should not see each other.. he still kept texting me daily.. I should have held my boundaries and stayed gone. What he was doing was putting me on ice until he felt more financially stable but his ego and pride and attachment prevented him from being real with me. He was basically putting me on layaway. He should not have been out here trying to date period. As soon as the possibility of a baby came up he hightailed it out of here, the facade he thought he had would have crumbled.. smh. I knew he was having money issues.. duh. I stupidly was dating his potential.. big mistake
Very intuitive video. I could see the secure person right before my eyes. I think I met some secure guys when I was younger. They were always very clear - opposite to me. And I didn't understand how it could be possible that someone is that clear - I thought it is normal to kind of float and to only feel sure about someone when there is an overwhelming amount of chemical reactions in my body - and concluded they must not be into me that much and that they hope for some advantage in some regard by being with me😅😅 I really had no clue!
This is true as a secure attacher, adding onto that too is that also I have become more open to wanting to know what the other person wants from the onset, to know if I can be able to provide that for them. Its like mutual consideration. People tend to attach to me quite fast, and I like knowing and talking about just as we start to build a connection, so we are on the same page of that timeline and just going with the flow until we both feel comfortable which works great if you meet someone with the same mindset. My DA ex and I have been "reconnecting" for months now, but it feels more like we will end up platonic even though we have the same understanding that we care about each other but are not ready for a relationship, and we both arent looking to date- its almost as if we find comfort in just the "go with the flow" and its working great because for the first time, I feel like im able to feel the stage after Power Struggle....which feels more stable. Our coparenting relationship has become more healthier and feels more stable. When I was an FA, the power struggle was it for me and yes id become friends with my exes but completely platonic.
as FA.. i wish i just didn't take it so personally it wasn't at all my fault and it has nothing to do with how valuable i am as a partner...it will always always remain a painful memory that he lied about it he tried his best to make me confused he didn't respect my time... and wasn't even someone with a personality disorder he was a good human so it felt like it's my fault..he made me sense that if i'm more flawless he won't commit to someone else.... but i'm accepting now that many women in his mind deserve that commitment and i don't... nothing will change that fact but its weight is growing into nothing
Jeez all this talk. If someone doesn't want to commit to you..just Walk..its very simple. Whenever someone tells you they are not ready to be with you, it just means they dont like you enough. That's all well and good, but all this waffle is just a waste of your time, it won't make them ready. Anybody who really wants to be with you would never give you the "I'm not ready" crap. Go find someone who is ready to be with you.
It should also be noted that a woman's commitment timeline v is generally longer than a man's commitment timeline. Of course attachment style makes this more subjective, but I've found this to basically be true. It's why as a man I never ask a woman to be exclusive; I wait for her to bring up the idea first. Great video nonetheless.
@ no I believe that people who push for it are interested in control, if it happens organically that’s healthy and safe. If it’s forced it’s toxic, if there’s bargaining and negotiating and fact finding going on, that’s a person with a strategic plan and mold they’re attempting to fit you into. Run.
Start the new year with purpose! Experience personalized courses on avoidants, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days!
attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?Ux_OR5RYcOA&el=youtube
Start Here: th-cam.com/video/Qa11KTYzDdw/w-d-xo.html
I identify as a secure attachment style, I had never dated an avoidant until my Ex it was a roller coaster of emotions and when it end literally overnight it left me so confused as to what had just happened.
Yup, that's why these "what would a secure do?" Type videos are bs. Only time a secure person would behave exactly like this, is early on before there is a lot of attraction and toxic behavior in the relationship. I don't see why everyone frames these relationships are purely avoidant-anxious when roughly 50% of the population is secure...
That sounds so confusing and painful. Relationships with avoidant partners can feel like a whirlwind.
Wow! I just had to separate from DA and this made me feel so validated. I think I'm finally more securely attached instead of FA. It's hard to practice a new way of showing up and letting people show me who they are then setting boundaries. But if this gets me closer to the healthy love I want....so be it! Nothing changes if nothing changes. So grateful that I have done work on myself enough to finally figure this out.
I recently experienced a challenging split. It has been really difficult since my five-year relationship ended a few months ago. My ex-boyfriend is still very much in my heart, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Nothing has worked in my attempts to get him back, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. I realize it may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and think about him constantly.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I simply used your useful information to look him up online. Amazing
I looked up Father Obah Eze online, and he seems like a sincere person. Again, thank you ❤
Ha, I asked my ex how long it would take for him to want to commit.. he said a year!!! I said well I’m on a different time line, I think we should not see each other.. he still kept texting me daily.. I should have held my boundaries and stayed gone.
What he was doing was putting me on ice until he felt more financially stable but his ego and pride and attachment prevented him from being real with me. He was basically putting me on layaway. He should not have been out here trying to date period. As soon as the possibility of a baby came up he hightailed it out of here, the facade he thought he had would have crumbled.. smh. I knew he was having money issues.. duh. I stupidly was dating his potential.. big mistake
It’s tough when someone isn’t honest about their intentions. You made a strong choice to protect your boundaries!
Avoid a relationship to be in a relationship is the best logic
Very intuitive video. I could see the secure person right before my eyes.
I think I met some secure guys when I was younger. They were always very clear - opposite to me. And I didn't understand how it could be possible that someone is that clear - I thought it is normal to kind of float and to only feel sure about someone when there is an overwhelming amount of chemical reactions in my body - and concluded they must not be into me that much and that they hope for some advantage in some regard by being with me😅😅
I really had no clue!
I have signed up with your program. Helping me so much.
This is true as a secure attacher, adding onto that too is that also I have become more open to wanting to know what the other person wants from the onset, to know if I can be able to provide that for them. Its like mutual consideration.
People tend to attach to me quite fast, and I like knowing and talking about just as we start to build a connection, so we are on the same page of that timeline and just going with the flow until we both feel comfortable which works great if you meet someone with the same mindset.
My DA ex and I have been "reconnecting" for months now, but it feels more like we will end up platonic even though we have the same understanding that we care about each other but are not ready for a relationship, and we both arent looking to date- its almost as if we find comfort in just the "go with the flow" and its working great because for the first time, I feel like im able to feel the stage after Power Struggle....which feels more stable. Our coparenting relationship has become more healthier and feels more stable.
When I was an FA, the power struggle was it for me and yes id become friends with my exes but completely platonic.
sounds like you’ve found a really healthy dynamic. Thank you for sharing your experience-it’s inspiring.
as FA.. i wish i just didn't take it so personally it wasn't at all my fault and it has nothing to do with how valuable i am as a partner...it will always always remain a painful memory that he lied about it he tried his best to make me confused he didn't respect my time...
and wasn't even someone with a personality disorder he was a good human so it felt like it's my fault..he made me sense that if i'm more flawless he won't commit to someone else....
but i'm accepting now that many women in his mind deserve that commitment and i don't... nothing will change that fact but its weight is growing into nothing
Is this research based timeline? If so, can you please share the data?
When I said "because I want to make my own decision" he was sure I will leave so he ran away first 😕
How the hell can someon be secure and also want somebody like that? Can somebody explain?
It doesn't make sense at all
Jeez all this talk. If someone doesn't want to commit to you..just Walk..its very simple. Whenever someone tells you they are not ready to be with you, it just means they dont like you enough. That's all well and good, but all this waffle is just a waste of your time, it won't make them ready. Anybody who really wants to be with you would never give you the "I'm not ready" crap. Go find someone who is ready to be with you.
That’s definitely one way to look at it! Prioritizing yourself is so important in any relationship.
It should also be noted that a woman's commitment timeline v is generally longer than a man's commitment timeline. Of course attachment style makes this more subjective, but I've found this to basically be true. It's why as a man I never ask a woman to be exclusive; I wait for her to bring up the idea first. Great video nonetheless.
That’s an interesting approach! Everyone’s timeline is so unique-thanks for sharing your insight.
lol
Pushing for commitment is wrong, just love people as they are and stop trying to own dominate and control them!
It sounds like you believe commitment means control and domination. That's absolutely false.
@ no I believe that people who push for it are interested in control, if it happens organically that’s healthy and safe. If it’s forced it’s toxic, if there’s bargaining and negotiating and fact finding going on, that’s a person with a strategic plan and mold they’re attempting to fit you into. Run.