Goodbye "Friend Zone," Hello Platonic BFFS

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 289

  • @thetake
    @thetake  ปีที่แล้ว +11

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    • @blazer511
      @blazer511 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      In fact this type of relation is harder to come by and will continue to head towards near extinction in the more recent generations, as they view people only as means, and assess relationships on what they can gain. This is why people will turn away from any sort of relation that does not give them what they want immediately.

    • @starscreamthecruel8026
      @starscreamthecruel8026 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@blazer511 Not sure. The more people who identify as Ace, Aro or both in the following generations, the more *platonic* will become normalised and just another option for relationships and friendships. I think it's about damn time, it had it's time in the spotlight.

    • @Invisibility397
      @Invisibility397 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hear the mention of friends once and trust to believe that person is garenteed Psychopathic Shock Trauma out of nowhere and a large amount of mental health issues is garenteed to cause them a significant change to their operating program and systems in the First exposure session... is the retardedness really worth it for you?

  • @PokhrajRoy.
    @PokhrajRoy. ปีที่แล้ว +529

    Phoebe and Joey were really the best dynamic in ‘Friends’. They really depended on each other and were equally weird.

    • @prven5620
      @prven5620 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Phoebe had a huge crush on Joey tho. And he did mess around with his sister

    • @DeliciaDulce
      @DeliciaDulce ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I really like Chandler and Rachel dynamic too

    • @j.s6946
      @j.s6946 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes but I ship them and they are filtred, on the show. I think in real life friendship like this, ended up relationship

    • @the_glitter_is
      @the_glitter_is ปีที่แล้ว

      Hell yes.

  • @Vesperitis
    @Vesperitis ปีที่แล้ว +607

    Having more portrayals of male/female friendships would go a long way of weaning out the cultural perception that the only relationship allowed between between a man and woman or boy and girl is romantic.

    • @O1OO1O1
      @O1OO1O1 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It's not the cultural perception that that's the only thing allowed, it's the wisdom that it's the only thing that works.

    • @clearseas2657
      @clearseas2657 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      ​@@O1OO1O1for you

    • @merieem88
      @merieem88 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@clearseas2657In fact, the woman who befriends men is stupid

    • @kaylabounds0615
      @kaylabounds0615 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      ​@@O1OO1O1 stop projecting that the only thing that works is the thing that works for you. As a society, not everyone is like you.

    • @carloszapata847
      @carloszapata847 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​​@@fabio9936
      Romantic relationships are a type of friendship, so anyone with a girlfriend already has a female friend.

  • @NotSoPhotogenic
    @NotSoPhotogenic ปีที่แล้ว +299

    I'm a straight guy who has always had mostly female friends, so I'm glad to see more of these friendships on screen.

    • @felisd
      @felisd ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I like that this is being normalized and better represented now as well. I was a straight cis female who had a large number of both female and male friends growing up and through university, but most of the my hetero cis male friends disappeared after they entered into relationships - either because they didn't think they could be friends with me because they were in a relationship now, or because their significant others put a kibosh on them having any female friendships other than those related by blood/marriage.

    • @NotSoPhotogenic
      @NotSoPhotogenic ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@felisd I understand.
      I have a handful of friends, mostly women.
      But I've lost so many female friends who have taken up with a male partner; this seems to be an unfortunate deal breaker for so many.

    • @davidwhite2671
      @davidwhite2671 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Agreed and likewise.

    • @JuanEnriqueFloresJr
      @JuanEnriqueFloresJr 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Me too actually but it is sometimes difficult to manage them when you have partners because they could get jealous and other things

    • @Hyena-t4r
      @Hyena-t4r 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same

  • @mytruecrimelibrary
    @mytruecrimelibrary ปีที่แล้ว +438

    I've been living with a platonic male friend for 6 years now. It really works for us. Of course people assume stuff but I've long ago stopped caring about that.

    • @BrokeredHeart
      @BrokeredHeart ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@DDZ516 Well, speaking for myself, I had a male friend of mine move in with me after he had a significant break up, and I needed someone to share the rent with in my apartment during the pandemic. We were acquaintances before that and met through a mutual friend, so I felt comfortable opening up my home to him as we were both flailing around trying to sort things out during lockdown. We're both in our mid thirties and have each done the dating scene. He and I both go on dates with other people, he and I have our own circles of friends with some shared people in common, we will occasionally go out to do things together as friends - grab dinner, see a movie, watch baseball, whatever - but we don't feel any attraction to one another, and we each enjoy having our own space to retreat to. He's never made a pass at me, in fact he has many women friends who he has no desire to sleep with (which might be why his last relationship didn't pan out), and I don't flirt with guys I have no intent of pursuing. When there's no "spark" there (cliched as that sounds), it gives you a chance to connect with someone in ways that can lead to a stronger plutonic relationship.
      I think the reason why guys tend to think about sex with any partner is because there's that desire for physical intimacy that comes with being in a sexual relationship. It's not necessarily about the act of sex itself, it's about the feeling of closeness and that human contact that unfortunately you guys do not get from other trustworthy relationships. Women hug, we cuddle, we touch, but if guys do that with one another, your masculinity and sexuality is called into question, so you just don't do it. Therefore, every other relationship a hetero guy has with the women in his life MUST be perceived to have some sort of sexual tension to it, because it appears the only time men receive physical contact from anyone is from a romantic/sexual partner.
      So I am respectfully rejecting your notion of "the friend zone" because it implies that you were put there, instead of choosing to remain in a plutonic relationship with members of the other sex. Also in your "poll" you say men would have sex with any plutonic relationship of the opposite sex, yet you also claimed your best friends aren't your "type" which means that there are certain boundaries you have established with your relationships to women, and that don't depend on physical appearance either. So I think one or the other things must be true, but not both. It sounds like you already do have relationships, or at least understand the concept and principles of men and women remaining in friendships without sexual or physical attraction.

    • @KatRocksLOL
      @KatRocksLOL ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@BrokeredHeart 👏👏👏

    • @ZZ-qy5mv
      @ZZ-qy5mv ปีที่แล้ว +18

      ​@@DDZ516 Maybe it's just your social circle? If what you're saying is true for all guys, then no resonably attractive woman would ever be rejected by the men they like. And we are rejected plenty. I've been rejected romantically by guys who flirted with me HARD, like wtf... Sometimes you're just not that into someone even if they're attractive. Sometimes you are attracted to them but you want nothing to do with getting into a romantic relationship with them. And people don't want to deal with whatever "catch" that could come from "just sex." Life has consequences. You call those to women your best friends, so it is working, no? So what if you could have sex with them hypothetically? A mature adult can compartmentalize that and it seems like you're capable of that too.

    • @user-ny1wo1vp9r
      @user-ny1wo1vp9r ปีที่แล้ว +17

      ​​​@@DDZ516 I dont think being willing to have sex with someone if given a chance means it's not platonic or you're in the friend zone unless sex is constantly on your mind when you're with them or if you're only hanging out with them in the hope of having sex with them. I'm a woman and ive had friends of whom i have thought of sexually but i dont think that makes us less of platonic friends. I think it counts as a friend zone situation if the primary feelings you have for them are sexual or romantic and you're only friends with them because you cannot be more.

    • @tap1028
      @tap1028 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That's awesome! I've been best friends with my platonic male friend for 6 years. We tried living together but that didn't work for us. He's one of my favorite people and I wouldn't change anything. I know he feels the same.

  • @annhart1760
    @annhart1760 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    The ultimate platonic friendships are between siblings. I would live to see a "The Take" on the portrayal of siblings in TV and movies.

    • @carolfigueirars
      @carolfigueirars ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yes, that would be nice. My brother drives me insane but I do love him. I have seen a lot of better relationships between siblings though, the really caring and sweet kind I wished I had.

    • @sydney9011
      @sydney9011 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Especially the sister dynamic from Fleabag, that is one of the most accurate portrayals I've ever seen.

  • @rochelle2758
    @rochelle2758 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Wait, no Sherlock and Joan Watson in Elementary?!? That was a wonderful depiction of a platonic friendship over time, where the show creators had to reassure skeptical fans over and over that they weren’t going to pair them off romantically.

    • @jaimicottrill2831
      @jaimicottrill2831 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Oh yes! That was an epic pairing.

    • @mattphillips3537
      @mattphillips3537 ปีที่แล้ว

      Funny, their British counterparts get no such reassurance.

    • @keysburntgucci9016
      @keysburntgucci9016 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      THIS!
      Even Me who is into shipping a lot, had to double take and respect their Platonic dynamic the show remain consistent with regarding Sherlock & Joan.
      The younger me didn't really get that, and fell out of love for this during it's original airing. But almost a decade later, last year I decided to rewatch and finish the show. And I was so impressed, as adult I could appreciate more the need for such platonic relationship between male & female. The creators and the actors really executed so well in that show. man, Elementary is heavily underrated.
      It's really funny that majority of CBS's Elementary fans wants Holmes & Watson to stay platonic eventhough they are of opposite genders and it'd be just so easy to make them a romantic pair , while the fans of BBC 's Sherlock are determined to think of Sherlock & Holmes as two gay people who are unaware of the love they have for each other.

    • @viktoriag.6961
      @viktoriag.6961 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I LOVED the fact that they did not pair them up. They are perfect as friends, even sort of family (sensible and crazy cousins kind of dynamic)😊

    • @keysburntgucci9016
      @keysburntgucci9016 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@viktoriag.6961 they are 'just two people who love each other' 🥰

  • @chrisl.2713
    @chrisl.2713 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    I love having guy/girl friendships because there's no pressure, we can have fun, be silly together without feeling like we may "turn off" each other.
    I've always felt that romantic relationships are less fun than friendships because of that unnecessary added pressure. The silliness goes away all of a sudden because of "attraction".
    That's why I value friendships more than relationships!

    • @chrisl.2713
      @chrisl.2713 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@squelette0 I'm sorry to read that, you should never be pressured in doing anything! You'll definitely find a way! I root for you!

    • @swatisaini6447
      @swatisaini6447 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@squelette0 seems like u were pressured not just for marriage but kids as well. Hope u find peace soon ❤️

    • @chaaaargh
      @chaaaargh ปีที่แล้ว +14

      imo friendship is kind of the foundation of most relationships anyway, you gotta like someone before you love them. so it's weird that more emphasis isn't placed on friendships, it's definitely more rewarding to me lol

    • @chrisl.2713
      @chrisl.2713 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@chaaaargh You're right, that's why in my case I'd rather build meaningful friendships without expecting anything than date multiple people and expect a relationship

    • @starscreamthecruel8026
      @starscreamthecruel8026 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I've been telling people that one for decades. Relationships come and go but good friends will last a lifetime.

  • @serahne
    @serahne ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Honestly as I'm growing older, a great friendship/found family story tugs a lot more at my hearstring than a love story.

  • @arlaur
    @arlaur ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned Penny and Johnny in Dirty Dancing- they are an excellent example of a platonic opposite-sex relationship, from an era in which that was a real rarity onscreen!

    • @CrimsonAngelWinges
      @CrimsonAngelWinges ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We do need better examples of healthy ex's that stay friends.

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq ปีที่แล้ว +224

    Yes, I'm all for pure Guy/Girl friendships, as they can be just as rewarding as romantic relationships. One recent example would be the movie "Crush", wherein the gay protagonist Paige has a male best friend named Dillon, and they had a sweet dynamic.

    • @SingingSealRiana
      @SingingSealRiana ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I am rather partial to Liv and Ravis friendship in Izombie especialy since neither of them is gay and it still never goes into a will they won't they dynamic

    • @Seraphina.Is.
      @Seraphina.Is. ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@SingingSealRiana yes!! And her and Clive

    • @carloszapata847
      @carloszapata847 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why did you use the word "pure"?
      I understand you want to see non romantic friendships, but why is romantic attraction "impure" compared to friendship?
      A romantic relationship is a type of friendship.

    • @Ghost2743
      @Ghost2743 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@carloszapata847 I'm sure they just meant purely platonic..

  • @KattMurr
    @KattMurr ปีที่แล้ว +102

    My two closest friends were men. Unfortunately they both died within a month of each other last year and the loss of their friendships has been more than devastating....

    • @hugitkissitloveit8640
      @hugitkissitloveit8640 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I'm sorry for your tremendous loss 💔

    • @aprilshowers3246
      @aprilshowers3246 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and happiness

    • @absolutelynotellen
      @absolutelynotellen ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing well now. ♥️

    • @BitterFlower
      @BitterFlower ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That's so awful. I'm very sorry babe

    • @tanvijoshi4140
      @tanvijoshi4140 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Omg I'm so sorry!!

  • @returntohades
    @returntohades ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I would love to see a video on Sheldon and Penny. Their relationship had so much more growth and meaning than the romantic pairs on the show.

  • @WezMan444
    @WezMan444 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    I must admit I am a sucker for the friends to lovers trope, but I can still appreciate a good mixed gender platonic friendship story.

  • @carriefrazier1809
    @carriefrazier1809 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    As Ace/Aro I'm looooving all the platonic men/women-presenting relationships

  • @amandaredd3057
    @amandaredd3057 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    My platonic male friends were some of my most cherished relationships. In the beginning, that hard line is dually understood and never flirted with. At least, that's how it was for us when we were first hanging around and getting to know eachother. These are guys I've stayed in touch with over time as we watched eachother find love and grow families, rooting eachother on all the way. Friendship in general in it's purest in form is simply a beautiful thing ❤

  • @stephanieclark8327
    @stephanieclark8327 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I love a good friends to lovers pairing but platonic friendships are just as compelling if not more so

  • @bones1active
    @bones1active ปีที่แล้ว +46

    It definitely is possible to have friends of the opposite sex. It’s super rewarding because they can give you perspective from their point of you cause you’re not guy or vise versa. I love having woman as friends and most of friends are woman they’re awesome. I’m a huge fan of having a good friendship with a partner cause it’s the foundation of any relationship especially romantic.

  • @lalalandluvr777
    @lalalandluvr777 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    The first part of this video reminds me of the pilot of One tree hill, when Haley and Lucas basically tell viewers that they’re never going to have a Dawson and Joey friends to lovers relationship and I love that they always remain friends throughout the 9 seasons of the show, establishing in the pilot that nothing would happen between them, and even though I love some Monica and Chandler or Nick and Jess or Lorelai and Luke friends to lovers, I do find that platonic guy/girl relationships should be more prevalent in shows!!!

  • @jbblue48089
    @jbblue48089 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Women and men being platonic friends is a level up for both.

  • @maggiedhliwayo2697
    @maggiedhliwayo2697 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    this is probably why i've always (and still do) found it hard to befriend guys. We're taught that guys and girls can't be just friends and that's kind of sad

    • @O1OO1O1
      @O1OO1O1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We're taught that for a good reason. You also have trouble for a reason. Don't be so quick to buy into what a 10 minute TH-cam video that makes money from content ad revenue is selling.

    • @chaaaargh
      @chaaaargh ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@O1OO1O1 lol why are you so bent on trying to prove this dumb false narrative

    • @navap.6799
      @navap.6799 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Completely agree. That is why I never bother telling my family about my platonic friendships with guys, because the last thing I need is for them to tease me about a romantic relationship. Giving more room to those forceful voices in my head (from society standards) will only ruin these friendships- and I value these friendships too much to let them get ruined all because of misconceptions.

    • @thedarkangel613
      @thedarkangel613 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@O1OO1O1 What is this good reason we are taught that guys and girls can’t just be friends?

  • @elsafowl
    @elsafowl ปีที่แล้ว +13

    YES THANK YOU!! Honestly I'm so tired of the argument of "why can't they be just friends" being applied only to woman x woman or man x man relationships. Like, when it could be gay, we push for friendship but when it's a woman x man relationship, we assume (and often get) romance, automatically?? Nuh-uh, we need to subvert the basic trope now, we need gay relationships, hetero platonic friendships and most of all, we need well-written relationships!!

  • @jengorman2246
    @jengorman2246 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Ugh okay I just unobjectively loved this one. Platonic friendship love does not get enough love itself.

    • @tomboyjessie1352
      @tomboyjessie1352 ปีที่แล้ว

      IKR? Not every relationship needs to be about romance and/or sex.

  • @aiswaryabersan7983
    @aiswaryabersan7983 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Kate and Leonardo proved that friendship gives more chemistry then being a couple

    • @couchpatotoe2214
      @couchpatotoe2214 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She's also too old for him😂

    • @andybotwin2113
      @andybotwin2113 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@couchpatotoe2214LOL!

  • @amyadams9970
    @amyadams9970 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I like that they r now showing more friendly woman/man friendship, I like both my male and female friend groups

  • @taishankm
    @taishankm 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There is value in platonic friendships, I always say. That's when you do the most learning.

  • @xtinafusco
    @xtinafusco ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Glad this is getting normalized on TV. My male platonic friendships have been some of the most rewarding! It does so much to break gender-myths or mistrust in the opposite sex. Especially when I was in my 20s, and dating a lot of duds... you realize its just them who suck, not "all men" suck. My sisters always went to all-girls schools and don't have male friends - and I noticed, even tho they're married - they have really outdated assumptions and make blanket statements about men. But we are all just people!! We can all communicate and be caring and lift each other up!!

  • @simi5044
    @simi5044 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I'm one of those girls who only falls in love with guys after I've been best friends with them for a while. Sometimes it really does take time to realize that you have feelings for someone, and I think it can definitely evolve and develop from platonic to romantic. Especially for those who identify as demi-sexual who don't feel initial instant attraction and instead need to develop a bond first before they can have feelings.

    • @falconeshield
      @falconeshield ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yoooo hello Demi!

    • @bones1active
      @bones1active ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sammeeeee! I’m in the same boat 😊

    • @MJ-py7dm
      @MJ-py7dm ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Demi sexual what is that, an option on the Starbucks menu?

    • @bones1active
      @bones1active ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@MJ-py7dm it just means you need an emotional connection before the sexy parts can kick in for you. You can have sex if you want but depends on the person. You’re in the asexual spectrum. For some like myself, I get an emotional connection through close friends or best friends but it doesn’t always mean it’ll happen with them

    • @simi5044
      @simi5044 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@MJ-py7dm lmaooo. It's when you don't develop sexual attraction towards someone until you get to know them first. It does sound like one of those bogus gen-z terms but I think there's some merit to it.

  • @zoelopez1426
    @zoelopez1426 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    In high school, all my friends were guys after I had an awful time with girls in middle school. But high school taught me that mixed gender friendship is still tough. I learnt from this experience, it’s not that one of you carries feelings for the other but society puts so much pressure on it that you constantly worry that one and other has feelings for you. One of my closest friends was a guy for almost ten years but he recently ended our friendship because he said he always worried I was in love with him even tho I wasn’t and had actually thought he liked me and worried about it

    • @a1ntcry1noveru
      @a1ntcry1noveru ปีที่แล้ว

      Damn that sucks, and you’re so right about societal pressure. I wish we could all be collectively more mature lol

  • @kholitar5452
    @kholitar5452 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My husband female best friend is my cousin, and she introduce us, they have been friends for a decade before meet, we married thanks to her and he was the best man in her wedding, yes platonic male and female friendship exist.

  • @lori1069
    @lori1069 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Speaking for the boomers, Mary Tyler Moore did this in the 1970's, and Designing Women did it beautifully with Suzanne and Anthony in the 80's.

  • @2rachaelm
    @2rachaelm ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I find the idea that men and women can't be friends so limiting and relate to that theme in platonic. That assumption can also lead you to devaluing yourself by not thinking your worth being friends with if you're "taken" or devaluing the potential friend by assuming that they only want something romantic from you.

  • @josabby474
    @josabby474 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There’s Stevie and David on Schitt’s Creek and Steve and Robin in Stranger Things. There was a brief romantic fling between Stevie and David, and Steve was interested in a romantic relationship with Robin; but both pairs developed strong and mutually supportive platonic friendships.
    Wesley and Cordelia had a brief attraction based on superficial factors on Buffy, but developed a strong platonic friendship on Angel.

  • @ironisa
    @ironisa ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sherlock and watson from Elementary are my favourite male/female platonic relationship

  • @icecreamhero2375
    @icecreamhero2375 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Growing up on Disney Channel The main guy always ended up with the main girl. I sometimes said can't they just be friends. I would never date any of my friends. Milo Murphy's Law finally made that come true.

  • @BloodyMary74
    @BloodyMary74 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I liked the friendships in Person of Interest. The men and women would often pose as couples but their relationships were all about loyalty and respect and nobody questioned whether it's less than romantic love.

  • @prarthanakudtarkar
    @prarthanakudtarkar ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Leslie and Ron from Parks and Rec have one of the purest friendships I've seen on screen.

  • @sophiaisabelle027
    @sophiaisabelle027 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This channel has always been the best at making content. We wish them all the best.

  • @-.J.S.
    @-.J.S. ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The best platonic relationship I saw is Sherlock Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) et Joan Watson (Lucy Liu) in Elementary. The procedural nature of the show overshadows how awesome the characters are written for the casual viewer. Even the small parts are great but the relationship between Sherlock et Watson is everything.

  • @ZZ-qy5mv
    @ZZ-qy5mv ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I'm always hoping for platonic friendships in film. I've learn so much from my guy friends. Life changing perspectives that I wouldn't have learned from my female friends.

  • @absolutelynotellen
    @absolutelynotellen ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I personally never believe in "friendzones". I think that man and woman still can be in platonic relationships. But i still got people around me who don't believe that, i guess that's what you get for not having a self-control lmao. 🤷‍♀️

  • @LittleRedTeaCake
    @LittleRedTeaCake ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love this. So many shows I used to enjoy, I stopped enjoying because they would always pair everyone off, especially main characters and I just, I don't always want romance, I want to see friendships! Happy, healthy friendships.

  • @LittleHobbit13
    @LittleHobbit13 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    To not include The Magician's Margo and Eliot in a video about platonic besties is an outright CRIME. One of the best co-ed BFF examples ever to grace screens.

  • @ZeroSubarashii
    @ZeroSubarashii ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Was friends with a lesbian for years and had NO sexual attraction to her, as well as some other female friends who I didn't like in that way. A friend is a friend regardless of what their gender is, and pairings tend to have a lot more to their dynamics- but movies are "elevated" reality and moreso function for entertainment than for education. It's helpful just to use one's discernment in these things.

  • @NerkTwin9
    @NerkTwin9 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Loving this. I'm just realising many of my fav pairings on screen are platonic couples. Have to add David and Stevie from Shitt's Creek! Oh! And Sherlock and Joan from Elementary 😊

  • @Hallows4
    @Hallows4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Now that I think about it, Benson and Stabler from SVU are arguably one of the longest-standing examples of this trope. Also, Abby and McGee from NCIS are heavily implied to have started out as a romantic pairing, but the idea was quickly scrapped and they grew to have one of the most enduring friendships in the series.

  • @mbanerjee5889
    @mbanerjee5889 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Men and women can be friends only if BOTH parties are not attracted each other. The problem is only when people throw away a friendship because there is no possibility of romance.

  • @UnboxingAlyss
    @UnboxingAlyss ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love seeing more male/female platonic friendships onscreen. When I saw the title of the vid, I immediately thought of Shang Chi. I expected them to get together the whole movie and was pleasantly surprised when they didn't. I'm also glad we had Hawkeye and Black Widow, though you knew they weren't getting together because he had a wife and kids.
    While I had mostly female friends up til high school, that changed fairly rapidly. From late high school, undergrad, grad school, and beyond, my friends have been 90% male. I'm in a lot if nerd fandoms and those groups are overwhelmingly male. I also had some bad experiences with women in college, so I shied away from female friendships. My best friend for over a decade was male. We learned a lot from each other, especially with him as a white male, and me as a black woman. We were always there for each other and we still talk from time to time. I don't think I've ever been closer to any other of my friends.
    At the same time, though, I have learned that there are some thigs that guys will never understand (and vice versa) and same-sex friendships are also needed. Today, I'm trying to expand my female friend network and ensure I have a better balance of friendships form people of all genders.
    This was actually a great take and why I started watching this channel in the first place. I'm tired of the celebrity gossip and generational comparisons. if they do another take like this, I would love to see one on "bromances", or friendships between men. Movies like RRR and The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent really highlighted those friendships well and I would love to see more of that.

  • @joreyn7656
    @joreyn7656 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I always loved the friendship between Ron and Leslie in parks and rec. when I introduced my husband to the show, he kept waiting for them to get together and become the best power couple in the history of tv. Even when Leslie got together with Ben on the show, he kept waiting for the thing that would break them up so she could be with Ron.

  • @bea4156
    @bea4156 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great video! Made me think of the scene on BBT where Amy and Howard rock out to Neil Diamond together 😂😂

  • @8Wallflower8
    @8Wallflower8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    In regards to Buffy, Sarah and Nicky (AKA Buffy and Xander) came to the show runners in Season 7 to pitch that Xander and Buffy should get together. They said no, because it was very important to them that Buffy and Xander remain platonic friends. And I’m so glad they made that call!!
    Their friendship is truly a beautiful thing and I think them getting together after all that time would have sent the wrong message.

  • @rinkishimoto5797
    @rinkishimoto5797 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I have lived with male friends during my college years and am still besties with both of them. I also have girl bestie that I had the absolute fortune to meet.
    They all mutually respect me and my boundaries and I feel like they actually care what I'm going through when I'm having a bad day. I had ppl associate our relationships as "romantic", and I have reached to a point where it doesn't bother me at all.
    People's label on us should not matter if we are happy with what we associate with! Go PLATONIC BESTIES!!
    I'm also aroace so the entire romantic notion of things just weirds me out.

  • @JasleenGhuliani
    @JasleenGhuliani ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can't believe they didn't include Steve and Robin from Stranger Things... It completely subverts expectations as you think they're gonna end up together, and they do, just platonically

  • @thefriesofLockeLamora
    @thefriesofLockeLamora ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Men and women can be friends. Joey and Phoebe, Rachel and Chandler, Harry and Hermione, Penny and Sheldon. The friend zone is bs. It's just someone pretending to be your friend while they bide their time to become lovers

  • @Jadesmorot
    @Jadesmorot ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve always have super mixed big friend groups so it’s really nice to see super nice friendships

  • @KarlieStarrSings
    @KarlieStarrSings 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love Winston's friendship with Cece and Jess. It's so wholesome 💕

  • @barakasalumu657
    @barakasalumu657 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    We wouldn’t have Liz & Jack or Ron & Leslie if not for Mary Richards & Lou Grant! They’re the original male/female workplace besties and I can’t recommend The Mary Tyler Moore Show enough!

  • @empressmarowynn
    @empressmarowynn ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don't know what I would do without my bestie. Yes when we met almost 20 years ago I had a bit of a crush which he rejected. And I'm super glad he did because we would have never worked as a couple and I would have lost such an incredible bond. We have been there for each other through so many things and I honestly would be in a much worse place without his support. People who refuse to give opposite sex friendships a try are missing out on so much and it's sad.

  • @NellyNutmeg
    @NellyNutmeg ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Frasier and Roz had a platonic love relationship except for that one misguided episode.

  • @chrissiem3958
    @chrissiem3958 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I would like to see a take about this with queer relationships. Onscreen, we often see the only 2 queer people in the show/film automatically having an attraction to each other, which of course is unfair and untrue of real life, just like with hetero, opposite sex relationships: while romantic love is great, mutual attraction and genuine romantic compatability are actually difficult to come by, and to see it written as a puzzle to be solved is insulting to us all, no matter our gender or orientation....
    PS, not that Im against romance, of course. I am just against pushing people together romantically for OUR gratification, not theirs....

  • @meg9953
    @meg9953 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This was such a nice video to watch. It warms my heart. 😊

  • @marijajanicijevic8211
    @marijajanicijevic8211 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This. Romances are full of tension and need to control, but you rarely have it in friendship. I guess you are more likely to get mad at your romantic partner because at first you idealize, and then you feel dissapointed while discovering you were wrong, sometimes convincing yourself it's not your fault, but the partner tried to trick you (as in love we are not all just fake at the beginning, because the nervousness is the big part of falling in love, that's what male and female sex hormones do, so we don't feel like being ourselves is right at the time). While, when it comes to friends, you love without having to go through the idealisation phase, it's much more laid back and genuine.

  • @missyface5
    @missyface5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm happy the term 'friend zone' is being fazed out . Men who view being friends as negative are inherently predatory and only want sex.

  • @robbiescheid4127
    @robbiescheid4127 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great video men and women can definitely be friends I'm a 31 years old male autistic I have never had a girlfriend but I have had close platonic female friendships I want a girlfriend more than anything but my female friends Do mean a great deal to me

  • @crod9905
    @crod9905 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ugh! This is why I always wanted Scully and Mulder to remain friends!

  • @sophiarodriguez3706
    @sophiarodriguez3706 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I always thought it was weird that “When Harry Met Sally” concluded that men and women can’t purely be friends. The characters are based on the movie’s script writer, Nora Ephron, and the director, Rob Reiner, who had a great platonic friendship and working relationship. Even though I disagree with that conclusion, I still think the humor and writing of that movie make it the gold standard of rom-coms.

    • @la_beatrice
      @la_beatrice ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "The sex stuff always gets in the way" does seem like the most logical interpretation of the movie, and probably the correct one, but I always viewed it a bit differently: men and women can definetely be just friends and for a while they were just that. When romance happened, it was the preexisting friendship that saved it, they got over the bump in the road and the awkwardness of what happened after they had sex thanks to the strenght of their connection provided by that friendship.

  • @hohohomelander
    @hohohomelander ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lucas and Haley from One Tree Hill were great! Suprised you didn't use them as an example

  • @bluishblow
    @bluishblow ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you for the part "saying they're just friends is redunctant"

  • @PokhrajRoy.
    @PokhrajRoy. ปีที่แล้ว +12

    There’s a lot of Aroace Erasure when the trajectory is the standard no-contact to full-on contact.

    • @the_glitter_is
      @the_glitter_is ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Fellow aro ace here, sending ❤

    • @falconeshield
      @falconeshield ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Ace here, fully understand you. It's hilarious how most superheroes are ace until their meet their future [HELLO I AM SPOUSE] character. Goku is THE example.

    • @PokhrajRoy.
      @PokhrajRoy. ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@falconeshield Haha very true.

    • @chengli3896
      @chengli3896 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@falconeshield that's natural, they are not lustful, that's all. When the right time comes they select a partner. Like goku

  • @alexspata
    @alexspata 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    brilliant video, I loved the show "Platonic", even though some parts were a bit exaggerated, Rose Byrne nails it again...and the relationship between Ted Lasso and Rebecca was very special, the whole show was in fact a gem.

  • @gowthamanjaiganesh3210
    @gowthamanjaiganesh3210 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Man I want to have platonic friendships.

  • @elenakusevska6266
    @elenakusevska6266 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Comnunity really was a great show.

  • @doughnuthead8757
    @doughnuthead8757 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    What do you call that trope where a man pursues a woman while knowing that she's unavailable? She's happily married/engaged to the man of her dreams or content with being single, but the protagonist doesn't care since he wants her. The protagonist is also a hypocrite for wanting the woman to cheat on her man, but he'll be heart-broken if he's the one being cheated on.

    • @shadowkitsu
      @shadowkitsu ปีที่แล้ว

      Asshole trope

    • @LittleHobbit13
      @LittleHobbit13 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Pretty sure that trope is just called "he's an asshole".

    • @marilynstone6386
      @marilynstone6386 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This can fall under characteristics of the Nice Guy trope. That plot once pushed as romantic is now more frequently reexamined as having negative aspects or manipulation.

    • @kayligo
      @kayligo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Unfortunately my previous male friend fell for a coworker who is in a relationship and it ruined our friendship because he just would Not let it go.

    • @doughnuthead8757
      @doughnuthead8757 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kayligo Sorry that happened.

  • @Daphneyd
    @Daphneyd ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for this. A section of my twitter community was commenting about this topic

  • @Shinyeepinee
    @Shinyeepinee ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The platonic tv show is good it definitely grew on me

  • @Logitah
    @Logitah ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really do not care for romance, so thank you SO MUCH for this! ❤❤❤❤

  • @kairussell2156
    @kairussell2156 ปีที่แล้ว

    Watched this because I am writing characters who are similar to Bee (Bee and Puppycat) and Tuxedo Mask (Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon), and I want them to be Platonic besties.
    My favorite example of Platonic BFFs is Ruby and Jaune (RWBY). Their friendship feels very real, relatable, and wholesome.

  • @wearesatellites91
    @wearesatellites91 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I’ve always hated when people gripe about being in the “friend zone”. Basically what you’re admitting is that you were only interested in the other person for sex and now that you can “only” have their friendship, you’re disappointed. Friendship is a beautiful thing and shouldn’t be treated like it’s a crappy consolation prize. You devalue a person when you imply that their only value was their romantic/sexual potential, and quite frankly, it suggests you’re a crummy person. People don’t owe you sex or romance just because you want it.

    • @hugitkissitloveit8640
      @hugitkissitloveit8640 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Perfectly said 👌🏼

    • @inferno3080
      @inferno3080 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nope will never make a girl I like a FRIEND… I will be nice, caring, teasing her at times.
      if she is NOT my type personality wise, and NO attraction, yes I will make her my friend, men have 15X the amount of testosterone running through his body, women have 1X the amount.
      MEN can’t be friends with women, I bet a bunch of her male friends are just waiting for the opportunity to slide in once she breakups with her current boyfriend, they would love to start a relationship with her given the chance. Don’t be naïve. Friendship and desire are blurred lines. Just because you saw them as just friends. They may secretly want to be with the girl. And are waiting for the current relationship to fail.

    • @KovacsZoltan12
      @KovacsZoltan12 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      you don't understand what you are talking about.

    • @wearesatellites91
      @wearesatellites91 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@KovacsZoltan12 if my post made you defensive, you’re probably the exact kind of guy I’m talking about.

    • @KovacsZoltan12
      @KovacsZoltan12 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@wearesatellites91 i'm just allergic to stupidity., including easily predicted, meaningless "answers"...

  • @RKTGX95
    @RKTGX95 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    it's a bit weird to me that it was mentioned in the video that best (platonic) friends can be more vulnerable and honest than with their romantic partner.
    without going too deep into that, as a rule of thumb:
    romantic partners should also be best friends
    but best friends don't have to be romantic partners.

    • @ayomidedareabel5525
      @ayomidedareabel5525 ปีที่แล้ว

      Depends on who I've known longer. Honestly I like to keep to myself either way. But I think it's because there is no fear that your vulnerability might be used against you

    • @andybotwin2113
      @andybotwin2113 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ayomidedareabel5525Your platonic friend would never weaponize your vulnerability against you.

    • @ayomidedareabel5525
      @ayomidedareabel5525 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@andybotwin2113 lol you'd be surprised. Especially with male friends

  • @Legendofzellybelly
    @Legendofzellybelly ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sorry, but Niles and Daphne from frasier weren't just friends, and then one day they were in love. Niles was completely infatuated with Daphne the whole time. It's more of a one-sided situation, until she found out hahaha also Roz and Frasier were amazing friends

  • @mattd2569
    @mattd2569 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood had the best platonic relationship on screen.

  • @slagoona1790
    @slagoona1790 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love this take so much

  • @QueenBee2314
    @QueenBee2314 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can’t believe they left out Law & Order: SVU! Not the most prestige show, but the relationship between Stabler and Benson is a great example of platonic (work) friendship. fans rooted for them to get together; they were deeply connected to each other, willing to die for each other; and jealousy from Stabler’s wife was even part of their characterization!

  • @aboutthesigns
    @aboutthesigns ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Y’all forgot to talk about one of the greatest platonic loves on screen, Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

  • @jaimicottrill2831
    @jaimicottrill2831 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brroklyn nine-nine had so many great friendships. Rosa and Jake, Gina and Jake, Amy and Captain Holt, Charles and Jake, Amy and Rosa, and -weirdly- Scully and Hitchcock.

  • @DeeRio9546
    @DeeRio9546 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really wish i could find a platonic healthy friendship. Ive tried for years and either the relationship has been ruined bevause the guy wants to sleep with me or jealous gfs and im over it.idk why everything has to be a competition

  • @AmaraEmme
    @AmaraEmme ปีที่แล้ว

    The new icarly reboot handled this well imo. While they went with the friends to lovers trope, they made a point of emphasizing that friendship is a worthy end itself- that it’s not a consolation prize for an unrequited love.

  • @ChutneyRomero
    @ChutneyRomero ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love this!!!

  • @grodriguez7225
    @grodriguez7225 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Come to think of it the trope of guy and girl friends to lovers feels way to heteronormative‼

  • @KP-zd3hc
    @KP-zd3hc ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Harry and Hermione: Hello?

  • @pattheticc
    @pattheticc ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love my male bff dearly. We've been friends for more that 10 years and the question of dating was never there. Now he's got a wonderful girlfriend and we're all hanging out together. Idk why is this so weiird to some people

  • @robchuk4136
    @robchuk4136 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It makes sense that this would be on the rise as media becomes more and more sex-less. When there is a push to kill the idea of "love interests" this is the more suitable alternative.
    Kidding (sorta). But it is nice to see. My reference before these shows was Will & Grace, but I'm not sure if that counts. Anyway, I'm enjoying Rose Byrne in Platonic she's done a handful of funny roles now, and I still think her comedic chops are underrated.

  • @BitterFlower
    @BitterFlower ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm friends with straight males and while I do think they're cuties and fun to be around, I have no interest in being with them romantically/sexually. None of our conversations or hangouts are sexually charged. It just feels easy. My boyfriend doesn't even feel threatened lol

  • @tenkenroo
    @tenkenroo ปีที่แล้ว

    My favorites of these have to be Carla and jd in scrubs, Sheldon and penny in Big Bang and Ron Swanson and Leslie knope in parks and rec

  • @mellodees3663
    @mellodees3663 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is why I wanted Star vs the Forces of Evil to stay platonic. I was so upset when they kissed at the end. That's not what I wanted!

  • @harmonicalaffection
    @harmonicalaffection ปีที่แล้ว

    I think you could really fit in Daniel & Betty here. They become really good friends throughout the show. Even though I shipped them in the beginning, the show turns out in the way that they become like the closest people and know each other better than everyone yet a romantic relationship never crosses their mind, until the last episode. They didn't need to do that but the fact that it was an open ending satisfied me. Same debate is going on with Harry & Hermione too, I'm shocked that they are not here in this video. There is a really big argument in the HP fandom about whether they should have ended up together or not. I was a former shipper too but seeing their platonic friendship, I feel they are closer than they would ever be if they were romantically involved. You grow to see that really happens.

  • @LeahWalentosky
    @LeahWalentosky ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm surprised Charlie and Ellen from how I met your father wasn't mentioned

  • @flavsdepadua8516
    @flavsdepadua8516 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If you think m/f friendships are hard, imagine queer (specially GL) relationships, it’s either a simp war or a lowkey frenemy super complicated dynamic.
    It’s really hard sometimes

  • @bestieedu
    @bestieedu ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is what I loved about Harry and Hermione, but then fans and JK Rowling herself ruined that.

    • @andybotwin2113
      @andybotwin2113 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      JK Rowling has gotten good at ruining things.

  • @omfghailmao
    @omfghailmao ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jerry and Elaine are actually a non monag/ poly couple and they date separately. The writers made them a couple again after "the Deal" (or the episode where they sleep together) and because the writers forgot to break them up again, they are canonically still together, therefore supporting my theory that they're poly and dating. In this essay I will