ceilings by lizzy mcalpine but you realised it was all in your head (ending looped)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 186

  • @astridmaximoff
    @astridmaximoff 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +640

    my maladaptive daydreaming is happy

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  7 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

      FOR REALLL I wanted to make something that sufficiently represents when you snap out of it and realise that you've been in your mind for so long

    • @Moonface9004
      @Moonface9004 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same

  • @renhirose1313
    @renhirose1313 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1228

    It would be soooo cool if after every loop the music keeps on becoming more echoed and quiet. Like a memory or dream slowly slipping through your mind.

    • @kenzieswartz324
      @kenzieswartz324 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

      Bro thatd make me cry ong

    • @mish8183
      @mish8183 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      @@kenzieswartz324yeah and this version already makes me tear up

    • @1itsceline
      @1itsceline 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Yeah exactly

    • @chimaerarts
      @chimaerarts 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Like waking up from a dream....

  • @54n413
    @54n413 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +406

    this version is devastating omg her repeating "but its not real" makes it so so much heartbreaking 😭

  • @alpinefool8814
    @alpinefool8814 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +183

    I love how after it loops the lyrics "and you don't exist" you can hear the "befoooore" of the original ending.

  • @Roisin3107
    @Roisin3107 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +283

    This hits different when you're grieving your past relationships that you knew were toxic and unhealthy yet you romanticise the early days with them because it was back when everything felt so new and exciting and beautiful..

    • @jacksoncordray1593
      @jacksoncordray1593 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Me. But I was there all the way until the end. She lost feelings some way through the 2 years we spent together and decided on Christmas Eve 2023 that she didn’t want us anymore. Forced me into a break. Cheated. destroyed us. I won’t get into it. But…I loved her lol. I loved her so much. Every day we woke up together was a day I knew we could beat together. I’ll never get to know how much of it was fake to her, or when it died. I had everything with her. I had so much more than I ever thought I would have with her. So much more light and happiness. All the way until the end. Christmas Eve morning even, she was twirling around in her work outfit and being all fucking adorable…I kissed her. Told her I loved her and that I hoped she had a good day, that I was looking forward to her being home that night as I slept all fucked up and didn’t even get to cuddle with her. She kissed me back and said she agreed.
      And then. Bam. Done. Over. I didn’t even get to hug her or hold her one last time lol. I didn’t even get to have her in my arms before she was gone. And I don’t know what to do…
      I’ve never been lucky. She came out of the blue…she saved me from the lowest point I’d ever been. How do I even recover from losing a heaven sent gift…

    • @7mellows
      @7mellows หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jacksoncordray1593 If it was truly a gift , god won't take it back from you. May be he wanted you to learn and heal through it. Accept it, and move on. Hope you have a wonderful life ahead ,my dear stranger

  • @genevaxo
    @genevaxo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +71

    This is one of the best things I've ever listened to. Somehow, the loop makes this even more gut-wrenching.

    • @genevaxo
      @genevaxo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I:A A vs O.

  • @Samuel-hu8uk
    @Samuel-hu8uk ปีที่แล้ว +218

    The loop ending is what we need 😭😭😭

  • @whosminou
    @whosminou ปีที่แล้ว +71

    the way i was waiting to get disappointed/ for the loop to end but it kept going. PERFECTION.

  • @imnaynay
    @imnaynay 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +142

    This song makes me think of the Reddit lamp story

  • @zoe._.1850
    @zoe._.1850 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    I can’t explain how content I’d be to just sit and listen to this for hours on end.

    • @zoe._.1850
      @zoe._.1850 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you for this 🥹

  • @onepunch2310
    @onepunch2310 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I thank this song everyday for stopping me from being delulu

  • @josefinakucharova4127
    @josefinakucharova4127 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    *Me showing this to the doctor admitting me to the mental hospital*
    Them: "Ah, it all makes sense now."

  • @DoveSky1
    @DoveSky1 ปีที่แล้ว +325

    Listening to this late at night with headphones on hits different I love this song!
    This also helped me calmed down when I was building my dream sim house ❤️ I been having it on repeat😊

    • @chrissy7920
      @chrissy7920 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      lol building in the sims, that's too real 😂🙌🏻

    • @lulzyana6953
      @lulzyana6953 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same! I listen this on quiet nights with dim lights and stare at ceilings before i go to sleep. Its calming

    • @sagarbhabar
      @sagarbhabar 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lol I literally started crying thinking about my ex 🥹

  • @yongbokkie5289
    @yongbokkie5289 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Listening this in the highway driving..wind breezing feels unreal

  • @aobxo
    @aobxo ปีที่แล้ว +134

    I feel so …..relieved and unburdened while listening to this so thank you 🥹

  • @cupcakxiia
    @cupcakxiia ปีที่แล้ว +358

    Imagine this:
    You spend all this time thinking-- even dreaming of this one person. Fictional or real.
    You imagine what it would be like to be with them in the future.
    The dates.. the small precious moments.. a smile on their face all the time..
    Sitting on the couch together watching a late movie at night,
    or perhaps sitting in the car as they place their hand on your thigh while driving.
    You just know that you would make each other happy.
    You spent all this time creating this fantasy world that was absolute perfection for you.
    A place where your mind can escape to so it can be free.
    But your fantasy decieves you,
    For in reality,
    they don't even know your name.

    • @GigglyYouya
      @GigglyYouya 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Wish it was with him instead...

    • @jexim_kymaria
      @jexim_kymaria 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Mecore

    • @SmartWater88
      @SmartWater88 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Or, even worse, he chose your “best friend” over you.

    • @cupcakxiia
      @cupcakxiia 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@SmartWater88 I’m so sorry to mention this but tell me why I’m writing a whole book where that exact situation happens 😭

    • @SmartWater88
      @SmartWater88 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@cupcakxiia 👀👀👀

  • @user-eo4sb2nr5d
    @user-eo4sb2nr5d ปีที่แล้ว +126

    This was cathartic. I appreciate it.

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I'm glad you think so! That's a major reason as to why I uploaded it, so that people can experience the relief (and the feeling of complete understanding and tranquility) that I felt when listening^^

  • @maskedscooter2666
    @maskedscooter2666 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    this is exactly what i was looking for. I can't believe you actually did it. This is like an itch that was finally scratched. Thank you.

  • @susanschuck8841
    @susanschuck8841 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    this has been on repeat for weeks now. thank you.

    • @susanschuck8841
      @susanschuck8841 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      here I am 6 months later still replaying this 😂

    • @susanschuck8841
      @susanschuck8841 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Back after 1 month still listening 😢

    • @susanschuck8841
      @susanschuck8841 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Back again… want to give up right now. I am stuck on this one boy. But, he doesn’t like me or even know that I like him. I mean… he told me like months ago. In all honestly, I am still in my toxic relationship. People keep telling me to leave but how can I if I don’t even have the guts to do it. I did when I sent a break up text, but ended up back together after he apologized??? I just want to be loved. This is my short Ted talk, be back in a couple of months.

    • @susanschuck8841
      @susanschuck8841 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I forgot to add that I might be a bad person for thinking of someone else. But, I truly can’t recall the last time he called me 😅. So… yeah. Cheers to being in a toxic relationship. ☹️

  • @aerado_0
    @aerado_0 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    this song devastates me every single time, and hearing how the "but it's not real" part had been constantly repeated shatters me.

  • @juthika2760
    @juthika2760 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    Ceilings, plaster
    Can't you just make it move faster?
    Lovely to be sitting here with you
    You're kinda cute but it's raining harder
    My shoes are now full of water
    Lovely to be rained on with you
    It's kinda cute but it's so short
    Then you're drivin' me home
    And I don't wanna leave
    But I have to go
    You kiss me in your car
    And it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before
    Before
    Bedsheets, no clothes
    Touch me like nobody else does
    Lovely to just lay here with you
    You're kinda cute and I would say all of this
    But I don't wanna ruin the moment
    Lovely to sit between comfort and chaos
    But it's over
    Then you're drivin' me home
    And it kinda comes out as I get up to go
    You kiss me in your car
    And it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before
    But it's not real
    And you don't exist
    And I can't recall the last time I was kissed
    It hits me in the car
    And it feels like the end of a movie I've seen before
    Before

  • @lyssnicole
    @lyssnicole ปีที่แล้ว +125

    I wish the version in my head of him was actually existed. I wished he checked in. I wish i cared

  • @07antimasingh
    @07antimasingh ปีที่แล้ว +63

    thankuyou for this. I needed to cry my heart out.

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Fr u just gotta let it out sometimes. Hope whatever you're going thru fades away with time, (or atleast the pain associated with it)

  • @kayla_the_wizard
    @kayla_the_wizard 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I like how when this song first came out, there were those who were like "oh mah gah lizzy, you could have stopped before that last part 😭" and then there are those who are like "Ah yes, the pain. Do it again."

  • @karalynseann1183
    @karalynseann1183 ปีที่แล้ว +711

    My autism thanks you ❤️😂

    • @lauraanne341
      @lauraanne341 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Mine too.

    • @bambisick
      @bambisick ปีที่แล้ว +22

      what does it have to do with autism? i don't get it

    • @lauraanne341
      @lauraanne341 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      @@bambisick this comment (as I interpreted it at least, as a fellow autistic person) is not about the particular song (as in the lyrics etc.) so much as having the bit of the song with the Good Brain Feeling repeated in a way that isn't jarring. So that people who fixate on this song and get good sensory input from it (something very important to autistic people) find it extremely satisfying and soothing. It soothes a need for more of the particular good stimulus.

    • @bambisick
      @bambisick ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@lauraanne341 thanks for explaining

    • @lauraanne341
      @lauraanne341 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@bambisick no problem 🙂

  • @umaanonima3853
    @umaanonima3853 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    my night needed this, thank you

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Aww yw
      happy I could add a little comfort^^

  • @xyz.anonymous
    @xyz.anonymous 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Imagine if each repetition got more intense to the point where she's screaming and sobbing? A girl can dream

  • @noragalambos4553
    @noragalambos4553 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I needed this version so bad!! It’s the best, thank you soo much

  • @julietkenzie
    @julietkenzie 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    whaoo on the beach at night alone picturee didnt expect that

  • @wajihaf.
    @wajihaf. 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Perfect song for a maladaptive daydreamer

  • @hopehamilton4
    @hopehamilton4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Honestly so cathartic

  • @burntbiryani2298
    @burntbiryani2298 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    “Lovely to be rained on with you”

  • @rosiepulvera2026
    @rosiepulvera2026 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is healing

  • @lacw19
    @lacw19 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    repetition of lyrics: 🎀female rage🎀

  • @x.eliza.b
    @x.eliza.b 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    For that one fictional character in my dreams i've been in a relationship with 😢❤

  • @reikadoodles
    @reikadoodles ปีที่แล้ว +11

    💐 Thank you for uploading this, it was just what I needed

  • @dollheart20
    @dollheart20 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    i have never had a boyfriend before or fall in love before but i hope one day i will find a kind guy who will love me for me.

  • @TheLightOfHisGrace
    @TheLightOfHisGrace 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This might be the best thing on this website

  • @arenseaures675
    @arenseaures675 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Really feels like this song explains how it feels to feel lonely…. For everyone… but for me it’s when it’s tough to read people, so you just go through the social situation and just enjoy it as much as you can, knowing that it does not “click”… sometimes you meet people who are so nice and stay nice with you…. You are aware that you dont quite “click” and you can try to guess all you want… but you can’t change that… and they know too that you can’t change yourself either…. But you enjoy it to the fullest…. So you all have fun and joke as much around as you can… it’s beautiful, really…. Very beautiful…

    • @arenseaures675
      @arenseaures675 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you for looping this, very nice💖
      Sorry for dumping, wish you all a happy life✨

    • @Candycloud_19
      @Candycloud_19 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      you put what i felt into words. so relatable.

  • @moonlightangel9701
    @moonlightangel9701 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is it, this is what i needed ❤❤

  • @firewind3509
    @firewind3509 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Would love a slower version of this 🥹 so perfect

    • @siren8811
      @siren8811 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Try adjusting the speed button maybe? Let us know when you’ve found a good slowed version!!

  • @itsmeetime111
    @itsmeetime111 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    the lyric hits so hard 😭 this song literally speaks for my mind

  • @nunita141
    @nunita141 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This hurts

  • @lifeofzahraa
    @lifeofzahraa 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    this is the most beautiful thing ive ever heard

  • @theraccooncito
    @theraccooncito ปีที่แล้ว +5

    wow just what I needed. thank u !!!

  • @pavomeet
    @pavomeet 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It hurts like hell but thank you ❤️

  • @wthdrithi
    @wthdrithi ปีที่แล้ว +9

    this was a need that i didnt knw i needed so thx lol

  • @chimaerarts
    @chimaerarts หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    i hate to dream, because when i wake up i lose everthying good...friends...a happy family...a partner i never had...the adventures of a life time...the good memories...
    it hurts a lot, and sometimes it is daily...i hate it.

    • @chimaerarts
      @chimaerarts หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      i dont feel that i have all of that...for a strange reason i feel it is far from me...that i wont reach it soon...sometimes i feel i dont have too much time in this earth, what if i suddenly leave...would i have lived? i dont know... I a not leaving until i did some of those things, because i know they are real, i just have to look for them...i am not going to be lonely all my life. I wanna feel that hapiness one day, and make it last.

  • @noteworthynuha
    @noteworthynuha ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Trying to get over someone 😢 it was never real 💔

  • @lulzyana6953
    @lulzyana6953 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whenever i feel like i might have an anxiety attack, i listen to this video. Don't think i know any other song that gives me tranquillity like this song does, especially this version.

  • @boragom_19
    @boragom_19 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for breaking my delusions 😂

  • @ju-qq1xi
    @ju-qq1xi ปีที่แล้ว +6

    this is soooooo good fr

  • @ahlam.selenophile2740
    @ahlam.selenophile2740 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    That was literally needed.

  • @TheJamili27
    @TheJamili27 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    love it!!! thank you

  • @stayysid
    @stayysid 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is soo smooth????????? Omg

  • @m3l1n4.7
    @m3l1n4.7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    2:06 💗

  • @_enjoythesilence
    @_enjoythesilence ปีที่แล้ว +9

    THANK U.

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว

      You're welcome!

  • @bigwave7632
    @bigwave7632 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It hurts that this song is playing in my head whenever i reminisce about memories of my boyfriend and i when we still live in the same city. We're not broken up, we're just having a long distance relationship but it is hurting me that all of these memories felt like a dream that never happened before :'(

    • @uu-kq6mn
      @uu-kq6mn 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Awwww❤

  • @won_and_only1229
    @won_and_only1229 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    wtf 😣 i feel like i'm breaking as the loop goes on 💔

  • @getomalfoy
    @getomalfoy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    No way. Right now, I just finished the latest chapter of my favorite book, and it only have 4 chapters left. I can't still accept that it's coming to an end. I kind of wish that I started reading it before. I'm so sad right now. I became so attached with the characters, they way their lives reflect mine, as well as the emotions we have in collision. It's very heartbreaking, I hope someone understands because it's been so hard to find anyone who can empathize. I am just a girl who's soul is extremely drawn to words and masterpieces. I deeply become fond of the tales that I read. It's beautiful yet truly heart wrenching. 🌺

  • @tswizzle7_13_22
    @tswizzle7_13_22 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ur so underrated :)

  • @lifeofzahraa
    @lifeofzahraa 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    pls upload this on spotify and audiomack i need it for my yearning moments

  • @thekingstonwolfmusic2116
    @thekingstonwolfmusic2116 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Didn't know lizzy knew genjutsu

  • @all.aboutBREAD
    @all.aboutBREAD 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    this made me think what if love is just a distraction?

  • @ingriddominiqueibsenvargas7283
    @ingriddominiqueibsenvargas7283 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh.. This is so perfect 😢

  • @Wes-Tyler
    @Wes-Tyler ปีที่แล้ว +22

    What is coming out when she gets up to go? I keep imaging she's pissing herself. What else could she be talking about !?

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      LMAOAAOOA

    • @melmxanie
      @melmxanie ปีที่แล้ว +3

      GNN LMAO

    • @Bovinenthusiast
      @Bovinenthusiast ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I think the feelings bubbling up from desperately wanting a person, wanting reciprocation, wanting to experience her first love, and wanting to admit her feelings. In my head I imagine that she’s daydreaming about fantasy where her crush is giving her a ride home and she finally spills about her feelings and the person kisses her but then Blam it’s just another one of her fantasies 🧍🏾

    • @shamirahurst4921
      @shamirahurst4921 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Her feelings … but he kisses her lol

    • @chocobrown2082
      @chocobrown2082 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      What is coming out is “ I love you” . She says that in one of her interviews

  • @kajamelstrom2245
    @kajamelstrom2245 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    THANKYOU

  • @nothing-fk1mz
    @nothing-fk1mz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    nice functional good working easy install thanks

  • @vecust
    @vecust 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This gives me the Vampire Diaries vibes of 2010-2012.

    • @uu-kq6mn
      @uu-kq6mn 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Oh my god😂😂 I hated that show but now I miss it.

    • @vecust
      @vecust 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@uu-kq6mn I was a huge fan when it just started back in 2010. But I ended up not watching after season 5 because they were dragging too much. Enjoyed the first season of The Originals, that was it.

  • @jordysach7228
    @jordysach7228 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    doing gods work

  • @whimsypanache
    @whimsypanache ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is literally making me miss my ex😭😭😭😭❤

  • @Bi-an200
    @Bi-an200 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Can you please do white hex- only a game intro looped

    • @Rosa_Doza
      @Rosa_Doza  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      sure, so the loop is from the start to before she starts singing?

    • @Bi-an200
      @Bi-an200 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Rosa_Doza yes before she sings, by the way thank you so much you are the only person that helped me 😭

  • @jocellemariendaya6024
    @jocellemariendaya6024 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    omggg so great

  • @Doulceno
    @Doulceno ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The repeat 🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️ thanks my loneliness 😅😅😅😅

  • @user-yu5tp1mf2h
    @user-yu5tp1mf2h 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    i peeled my orange

  • @Sunflower_that_loves_you
    @Sunflower_that_loves_you ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What did I do to deserve all this, my inner child asled
    Nothingggg

  • @crischisquad6402
    @crischisquad6402 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    so i am making a book called" Is it Us?" its a book where Diya ( yes, Indian ) is a freshman in school going through highschool with her 3 bestfriends- Dale, Hannah and sahana. Suddenly, she developed for crush for dale and they dated till sophmore year then she caught him with someone else, she became heartbroken and sad....until sophmore year finally comes...She hopes for a goood future! then she met this basket ball guy called Harshit gartosh. they both hang out as they both practise basketball together and she fell in love with him and they go out with each other.... the ultimate soulmate! PS PLANNING ON SENDING AN IDEA FOR NETFLIX FOR A SERIES!

  • @priscilavergara1772
    @priscilavergara1772 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    De tanto que repetía tenia miedo de que acabe 😂💕

  • @vicsville760
    @vicsville760 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This. 🧘‍♂️🧘‍♂️🧘‍♂️

  • @Ash-pl8jn
    @Ash-pl8jn ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love it🤩

  • @berrylafortune11
    @berrylafortune11 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is dope

  • @KakeJansen
    @KakeJansen 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I miss us so much already but I know we’re not good for each other right now

  • @TheLightOfHisGrace
    @TheLightOfHisGrace 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I miss you so much

  • @shadmanbinazim4513
    @shadmanbinazim4513 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks a lot God Bless you with all blessings🥹🫶✨🤍🌸

  • @eelsyaal
    @eelsyaal หลายเดือนก่อน

    no one will gets me when i say this song is so related to zayne from love and deepspace

  • @siren8811
    @siren8811 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Who was the backing vocals? Or is it her and it was just overlaid? This gave me chillllsss.

    • @thegirlwhoisme
      @thegirlwhoisme ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Overlaid. If you pay close attention you can hear when the song ends but the other audio keeps going.

  • @Mivkebvrns
    @Mivkebvrns 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ceilings (better version)

  • @aameliaa9
    @aameliaa9 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    is the background from a kdrama?

  • @EnasAlghamdi-i9b
    @EnasAlghamdi-i9b 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hello
    How are you
    I’ve missed you
    I know I’ve ignored your messages for some time and I left everything out of nowhere,
    I think I’ve realized a lot of things and I’ve dealt with some things in a different but not a correct way thinking it would help me solve some personal things, but it didn’t, I was trying to figure out if I was even capable of making myself forget about them but I couldn’t, you see, I have spent my whole life trying to understand how people thought, I found it difficult to be able to relate to them on a certain level, even certain acts that I was doing to in order to make everyone happy and please them so they can treat me in a decent way, to always put on an act to make myself seem normal, but what scared me the most was that if I ever got too close to someone and started telling them about myself, they’ll likely will see what im like behind my facade when in reality I’ve always wanted to be seen for whom I’ve always been, which is someone who does struggle, someone that does have an opinion, someone who matters and mostly someone who is capable of loving and be loved unconditionally in all situations and aspects that involved it, but it all came down to me also protecting myself from possible consequences or damage that might come out of it because I always believed that even tho there was never such a thing as a soulmate, I did want someone who was solely made for me as I am made for them, so when it came down to you, I’ve seen the most important and most intimate feeling I have ever felt with someone and wanted in a person, only I couldn’t do anything about it, you see it was confusing me because of a lot of things from which included not knowing if you felt or have seen how similar we both were, but did it still stop me from feeling the way I did? No, not really at least, you see I wanted to desperately talk to you about a lot of things but I also wanted to listen to you, to be there for you, to always see you, I have never felt this way about someone my whole life because I’ve spent it protecting myself from what’s impossible to have, that’s what I thought when I was with you, that It was impossible for the both of us to be together, I had a fear that if I told you things that you would not see me the way you always did (I have no idea how you see me tbh and I don’t think I want to know ngl because I’m scared) and you would hate it and I would find out that maybe the idea that we both were similar would come down to my struggles making you feel like it is a bit too much to handle even tho I would never make you feel like you should handle them, and it was the fact that I didn’t want my problems to stop you from talking to me about yours, or anything you wanted for that matter, and all I wanted was to exist within your space and be there for you when you needed me, I think it was partially my fault that you didn’t talk about yourself, because if you did, I would have to share my problems with you and you would ignore yours and focus on mine when in reality I just wanted to listen to you. ismail, you mean a lot, you really do, if not for everyone, you mean a lot to me, I see the way you act and the potential you have in yourself and I truly admire it, I have never seen someone so admirable yet so familiar, I see your kindness and how much you try to water it down by trying to seem like you’re not fazed by anything, you have this calming way of making me not feel like I should push myself to be something I’m not which scared me a lot because it meant that I was comfortable, and when I’m comfortable it means I’m in trouble.
    I love you ismail, I really do, It’s like you came into my world and carved your own existence to beautify mine, and I swear to god I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad or uncomfortable (I really am sorry if you do, I never mean it, I always have the need to express myself but I don’t do it) I don’t want you to think that I’m doing this to pressure you wallahi, I’m telling you this because you’re an idiot who is worth the effort, trouble and heartbreak for, even if you have your ways of dealing with some things differently that make me feel concerned or upset, I would never hate you or try to purposely make you feel like you are a bad person (if I ever did, then I swear it was not my intention to do so) I hope you know that me expressing how I feel was out of the fact that I need you to know that I really am happy that I met, talked, laughed, with you. It made me feel like I am not so difficult to understand, I wanted you to know that the reason i never acted upon my feelings was because I didn’t want to hold you down if there was any possibility that you felt the same way, I wanted to see you become someone you’ve always dreamed of being and not have anyone that will stop them from that, and my other reason was that I didn’t know how you would react to being with someone that was on the spectrum, you see, the reason I have difficulty with interactions is because I neurologically can’t read them very well or understand them fully, I can only provide empathy and logic which is the language I can communicate with, I felt like you deserved someone who doesn’t struggle from a high form of anxiety, you deserve someone that will handle themselves better and not overthink of things, someone who doesn’t try to hide themselves when it came to talking about it, but if I was giving the chance to talk to you about anything I would try to describe the type of love I have for you in every form that ever existed, I would, that’s how much you’re worth to me.
    I am thankful, grateful, in love with yourself

  • @ko.k.2112
    @ko.k.2112 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please do this for Gracie abram's mess it up

  • @nobaranobara-qg8hl
    @nobaranobara-qg8hl 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NAME SONG PLS

  • @1nth45ky
    @1nth45ky 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    OverviewLyricsVideosListenArtists
    Ceilings, plaster
    Can't you just make it move faster?
    Lovely to be sitting here with you
    You're kinda cute but it's raining harder
    My shoes are now full of water
    Lovely to be rained on with you
    It's kinda cute but it's so short
    Then you're drivin' me home
    And I don't wanna leave
    But I have to go
    You kiss me in your car
    And it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before
    Before
    Bedsheets, no clothes
    Touch me like nobody else does
    Lovely to just lay here with you
    You're kinda cute and I would say all of this
    But I don't wanna ruin the moment
    Lovely to sit between comfort and chaos
    But it's over
    Then you're drivin' me home
    And it kinda comes out as I get up to go
    You kiss me in your car
    And it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before
    But it's not real
    And you don't exist
    And I can't recall the last time I was kissed
    It hits me in the car
    And it feels like the end of a movie I've seen before
    Before

  • @firecrest8154
    @firecrest8154 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What's the painting?

  • @niteshrajput4527
    @niteshrajput4527 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    alice in Borderland ❤

  • @ramykimsoohyunramykimsoo-ww9mv
    @ramykimsoohyunramykimsoo-ww9mv หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @jajineko
    @jajineko 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    wouldnt It be better if he didnt or anything that happened to us existed at all ?

  • @Strawberry1sh
    @Strawberry1sh 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    2:06

  • @MONARCH_FLIES
    @MONARCH_FLIES ปีที่แล้ว

    1:38 am

  • @lauviushan
    @lauviushan 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I dream about him last night :/

  • @LeilySofia
    @LeilySofia ปีที่แล้ว

    pop o