Mini Cooper It is about respect. Men naturally want to help, fix things, be a protector. It isn’t about the money, it is about letting a man feel good about himself and his masculinity. By paying half, you rob him of that pleasure. It isn’t about you or sex. That is just your take on it, not his. I know it is hard to do, but let him be a man. You don’t need to prove to him that you are a man too, What guy wants that?
What about the second, third, and following dates? And more to the point, I'd like to ask you (any of you) if you think that a woman who goes on many dates with many guys, should have a total net cost of $0.00 While a guy who goes on many dates with many women should have a total net cost of perhaps many thousands of dollars? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and the justification for that imbalance. Cheers 🙂
Exactly. Not pay nor offer. As soon as I learn the guy expects the girl to "offer", it is a turned off. Not manly. My take is that these guys are not experts they are just talking about the things they like.
No matter what these 3 guys are saying, the reality will be different in real life. There’s no way they would refuse a second date with a woman they really liked and the first date went extremely well but she didn’t offer to pay. Trust me, if she ticked all the other boxes barring that one, there WILL be a second date!
Sweetie 187 I agree with you. I have NEVER EVER offer to pay in a first date a d they always come back. The only way I offer or actually paid is when I realize Im not interested on the guy.
One of my tests is whether he waits for me to get my car started and drive away before he goes on his way. I just think it shows he wants to make sure I’m safe. To me, that’s good manners.
Love this @M Nannette! Very very good one. I’ve found that the guys that wait were the ones that were genuinely interested. The ones that didn’t wait revealed more about their character. These were the very selfish men that weren’t so great in empathy department.
Gentleman I've dated actually get annoyed when I've asked about paying the bill, so I stopped doing it. I don't see how men would expect a lady to offer funding an activity he invited her to in the first place.
If he asks me out , and takes me for a $500 dinner, I cannot afford to pay my share for dinner. If he expects me to pay, maybe you should ask me my budget.
Monica Furlotte If you make minimum wage in a western country $15 is literally 1 hour’s worth of work. You’re telling me you can’t afford that? He should run!
I always offer to pay (or reack for my wallet in the purse) but if they accept I wont come back. If you dont do this fine but just know that men may see it like you may take them for granted. Also never chose the most expensive thing on 1st date. U never know. Itsselfish to expect too much first time you meet.
NO, the day I pay for dinner if HE invites me, is the end. Your man doesn’t owe you any money unless he offers/invites you/hosts you. Otherwise you are goldigging.
Some things in life should stay CLASSY FOREVER .dont EVER let her pay on a first date if you wanna be a man in her eyes...I don't care even if it's 2050 😍
I think we want them to pay/take care of things because we want to feel their manhood around us,a muscling vibe..we love it when man take care of things,protect us,help us,hold us etc and I think it's in their core to want to do that ,the way we woman like to do feminine gestures for them also...I don't think a guy should feel bad if he is paying for the bill or doing anything else for a woman,if anything, he becomes very much appreciated in her eyes....I think man forget that we woman also take the time and put an effort to do things for them,for example dressing up for them,wearing high heels,being well groomed,making dinner etc...every gender has its Owen way to show his love,care and appreciation to the other, so I think it's a mutual thing .
@Kerri Hall Thank You Darling❤️ I sure hope this message spreads around😊I see it as a very important matter to teach our children an old school manners. It's 2019 and the world has progressed so much, and it's definitely a blessing, but at the same time we slowly starts to forget about what Class is all about and other fundamental things. A women still wants a men to treat her like a Lady with respect ,and to be a gentleman around her. As I was mentioning in my second comment,I think it's a circle of giving,they give us and we give them back, there is no doubt about that. So if a guy doesn't want to be a gentleman and pay for the bill- o.k, but in my eyes he will be portrayed as a men with Poor Manners.
I'm South American and have never dated an American man so can not speak to that experience. However, none of my boyfriends have ever allowed me to pay for any date/meal/trip, it would be completely insulting to them as men. I'm completely fine with that.
Lola Cookie I agree. It’s part of the “machismo”: you take care of your women if you’re a real man. The other reply is clearly jealous of the respect Latinas receive, as long as she respects herself first.
Lola Cookie ,it’s an American thing to pay for something when you are out with a man. In African the man foot everything that’s tells how responsible and a man he is.
Cultural differences! In Europe, women are not allowed to pay , when on a date with men. This is in order to ALLOW the man to show his 'manhood'. Paying instead of him, is humiliating him ( 'cutting his balls'). This is the education! - When a woman WANTS to refuse discreetly a man, she will INSISTS hardly to pay her share, but this is a diplomatic way to say 'thanks, I do NOT want a second date with you'. This IS the European rule on dating.... :) Of course, when he is only a friend, and not a 'prospect', automatically women will pay their share (not the whole bill). - In USA, I was amazed to find out that women insisted to pay the bills without asking the permission of the man, before doing this :) In Europe, doing openly this means that the man is a payed escort ('gigolo').... :)
@@anielalucian I'm American and I was raised with the same views about dating. I don't know why guys are trying to change it up now. I'm guessing it's because they have less money now than in the past, but if that's the case, don't date until your finances are in order. Friends go dutch on the bill but when you're dating the guy should cover it off he expects to be taken seriously.
Also if he pays for your dinner but asks you to cover the hotel room, he's most likely failed the test. Or, he makes the comment that she should pay because she makes more money.
What happened to men yesterday’s man? When I was in my 20s men asked, men paid. 30 years later, men want to be treated like they are the prize & want women to prove we are worthy of their company. 🤔
Jacqueline Harris exactly. This foolishness we have going on in society now is ridiculous. We women are the prize. The super chases the egg not the other way around. These coaches’ statement is unsettling. 🤨
I have my own place, pay my own bills, pay everything I buy, and have zero debt. I will NOT offer to pay on a date. If a man gets turned off by that, then he’s not for me.
Any man who's on a date with a woman he's seriously interested in will naturally want to show he can "provide" and will insist on paying. My belief is that if he's happy to go half or for the woman to pay on the first few dates he either isn't that into her or he'll always expect a woman to take care of him.
I find it so interesting to hear about the “offering to pay the bill” test from you gentlemen. I do the same, but conversely, when I would offer to pick up the tab, and my date would agree, then that was my dealbreaker. I have, in the past, on such occasions, paid the tab, then gracefully declined any further invitation for future dates. A high value woman should not be allowed to pay the tab, especially on a first date. And a man that recognizes her value, should not expect her to even offer, again, especially on a first date. If a man invites a woman out for dinner, then feels it is acceptable for her to pay for it, then he’s failed MY test. On the other hand, I have picked up many a tab.....when a relationship has been established, and happy to do it for my guy at any time....when and if he accepts that from me.
Antonio Borrello wether we are referencing the entire bill, or just a portion, any expectation that your date offer to pay any part, on a first date especially, should not be the basis for which the man decides whether or not he calls her again. (If you recall, you did say you wouldn’t be calling her again if she did not offer to pay, portion or whatever). Actually, on second thought, it’s probably a blessing in disguise if he doesn’t call again, if these are indeed his views about a woman’s character. There are so many other indicators of generosity, good character, nurturing, and consideration than financial ones, especially for a woman, that are shown over a lengthier interim of time beyond when the bill arrives after dinner. And btw, I’ve been told, by men (good friends, family, romantic interests alike) who would never hear of their date/gfs, etc... paying, or expect any such offer, that it’s emasculating.
Over half of the dates I've been on throughout the years, I've said "oh I can pay for my meal" when the bill came, and the men said "ok"... When they were the ones that invited me out. My mood instantly changed and I just wanted to leave. Sometimes I brought it up later and they said "I believe in equality, I guess we just have different viewpoints" . Many also don't offer to help with heavy bags,etc... Am I missing something? Or is this how guys are now??
If you ask me out to dinner you pay, you chose the restaurant. When I ask you out for dinner I will pay. Do not have any expectations of someone else early on when dating except for basic treatment...respect, manners...When I’ve gone out to movies he paid for the movie and I paid for popcorn. While you’re subconsciously testing me, I’m subconsciously testing you.
Fair to pay for something's but I'm am not trying to take the "man out of the man" good to see chivalry isn't dead. Also good to see a man out effort , when ive gone on dates with guys they expect me 2 pay and my thoughts are if you want to see me and date me it's called "investment" same as I do with you to take time out of my day get ready to "present myself"I would atleast expect the bill to be payed
@@causeisaidsobitshkissazz1245 well said.i never considered how much time and money i put in my apperence, how i present myself I like the man to pay at first few dates of course, but i never had this reasoin as well.Women need to raise their standards :))
@@Angela-po7cr well I think its differences of go dinner together or being on the date .If I want to ask somebody on date I think ofcourse Im paying 😅 If people offer me to pay when it is clear Im paying very rude .I mean you dont take dinner with you to people who are inviting you to dinner 😅
You are not the man to text him after a date never chase a men a real men will text you first after the date and never expect you to propose to pay on a date real men know that 🤚🏽
Maureen Kam yes exactly one day I had such ridiculous date with a guy who were unable to offer me a drink. On the same evening, we decide to go to a restaurant and as I saw he didn’t want to invite me, I paid for both and at the end he never see me anymore! I forgot he tried to kiss me at the end of the date 😂😂😂 I should precise he was a lawyer so no prob to find some cash!
@@marionette512 You should not even have dinner with him. It's not that he's unable to pay for the drinks. It's just that he thinks it's not worth the investment. I am a Chinese. If I were with a white man (as I'm about to date one), I'll diplomatically educate him.on my culture that it is disrespectful for the woman to pay for the man as he will be deemed as a gigloo. 😉
Hahahha trueee...if I pay is coz I dont want him to argue or say anything wrong from me when I dont see him again... usually is only when it was a bad guy..kind of bastard treating bad the waiter and everybody around... But I truly offer to good guys too.
@@maureenkam9212 haha exactely the point in my comment.it's such a cultural thing.i talked about european values and how they differentiate between eastern countries and western.let's not generalise this test.is not so accurate
Why not pay as a sign of good will? It doesn’t need to be a habit. I think it’s a little egotistical to be so offended by the idea of occasionally paying a bill, especially if it’s a good guy. Just my opinion.
Im in shock about the dinner bill...I am southern and I wouldnt think to offer to pay for a man or myself on a date. We would not be aligned in our beliefs and values. I am the cheapest date... I eat veggies and rarely drink more than perrier. It's not the cost....it's the principle.
@Gabriela Martinyuk I do tend to feel that if someone asks you out, then they should pay (and any man with manners would never let you pay in that case). By the same token, if YOU have suggested that you and a man should go out, then you the woman, should pay. But these guys are just saying it shows character if the lady offers to pay her half, not that they expect her to do so. It can become very tricky though, if you get stuck with even half of an expensive meal and you can't really afford it. I would take that as a huge sign that he wasn't interested in me, if that happened. I think it's nice for the lady to offer to leave the tip, though. Or pay if you go for ice cream or a drink afterwards. It will go a long way with a lot a men towards showing them that you're not just out for their money, or a free meal.
Of course it’s the principle! You can go to a 200$ dinner instead of a 500$,I always hang around with at least 1k in cash+cards,but if an imbecil has the bad luck to even suggest me paying a restaurant bill,I’ll let him there to wash the dishes😂
Mark mentioned looking for equality in the "pay the cheque" conversation: a woman whose income lags behind a man's is a commonplace unfortunately. she may have a great job, a job she loves, that doesn't pay. she may be a single mom raising a child or more on a single income. her offer to pay or share the pay would be exemplary given what she must sacrifice. but: is her non-ability to pay a sign of non-equality? ... when money becomes a sign of what's equal, we are definitely in dark times...
When men ask me out on first and second dates they pay. That's my test. If we go on a third date or a man has to travel to see me then I'll offer to pay and happily pay if he lets me. When a man tells me "just worry about picking out the dress", I melt!!!
Frankie Olivera -I Agree...I lose immediate respect for a man that expects me to pay on the first date. I don’t mind chipping in on any other get together, but never on a first date.
My dad said the same thing. Men usually pursue the woman he's interested in to ask her out on a date. And he should pay! Women should not be offering to pay for first dates. But my dad also said: After the first date, if this man is someone you would like to see again, the next date offer to pay. BTW: My dad is the type of guy that never ask women he's dinning with pay for food and drinks. Even his good female friends we meet in the city for lunch and they fight with him over the bill. My dad always wins 🤷🏼♀️ His girlfriend makes more than him and he still pays for date nights.
Just to let you know: if a woman says “thank you, I had a wonderful evening” after a date, maybe right before she leaves, then she expects you to send her a text and say I had a wonderful evening with you, would love to repeat this - or she’ll assume you don’t want to see her again because you didn’t enjoy the evening as much as she did. It’s up to the man.
All three of you are NOT alpha males no matter how many videos you are posting. If man truly likes women in a romantic way and wants to cherish and protect her, he will not even think to get into her wallet.
Hello Antonio, thank you for your reply. The point I am making here is that when you said you expect women to offer to pay for dinner even if you will pay, still it is not kind and sounds like may be you are not on a date with a women who you REALLY like and want to be a man with her. I can elaborate but I think you understand my point. There are no genuine traditional deeply happy feeling for women about a man who wants her to offer to pay. It is so important that man will put effort to make perfect date with someone he really likes.
WHY ON EARTH should an INVITED GUEST “at least offer to pay” for the HOST’s HOSPITALITY? If I INVITE a man to be my GUEST-say I cook dinner at home-I don’t expect him to pay for the groceries or other “production costs.” He is my GUEST. I am his HOSTESS. It’s not complicated.
Yes I have been with my fiance for 3 years and I never had to pay for dates. When we were getting to know each after the third date I offered he said "no I got it don't worry" After that we would go out alot dancing, out to breakfast, dinners, and I went to put my credit card in the envelope and he took it out and said " Baby whenever we go out don't worry." I literally melted 🥰🤗💍
I'll pay when we achieve economic equality...plus regardless of how independent and financially secure I am ...if he can't pull a chair out or pay for a meal what else "can't/won't " he do. It's a matter of respect...if he didn't want to buy me a meal why invite me to dine...I'd literally request to split the bill, pay for my own and announce that we were now just 2 strangers dining at the same table and leave.
Mitty Monkey amen to that. All the men I know earn waaaay more than me. I’m a part time working single mother and student. I very rarely go out or spend money on myself it all goes on my boy and my future. I ain’t got cash to pay for dinner for a man who is earning tons of cash especially if he orders a £500.00 bottle of wine... I can’t afford that!! Damn!! I’ll drink the wine though 🤣 and eat the food. Thx
@@beccareynolds4625 lol right! A woman's struggle in this world is too great not to be rewarded with a meal and a glass of wine... minimally. Let's have a toast to a great future and great dates with considerate men xxx
Please do not take me to an expensive restaurant and expect me to pay the half of the bill or even expect an offer to pay. That is actually mean. At least this would be my impression on you.
Where did you get your coaching degree from? And what kind if women are you looking for? You not only diminished yourself, your work, your video, lol your advise doesn't pertain to a real woman. This is not only a weak approach it is weak thinking. And I am being nice.
I cannot believe these guys would talk about paying for dinner. And they spent so much time in that. As a woman, I feel that if the man expects the woman to pay, my take is that he is a total LOOSER. I would not want to see him again. It has never happened to me. I believe the roles are different. The man is the man. He is the provider, regardless of whether the woman has the means ot not.
I disagree, maybe it is a cultural thing for us women. I almost always ask my first date if I can pay, but I understand they want to pay and like that they value me to do it. However, I want an equal and as equal men and women pays. I pay for the third or forth date to show him, I like spending time with him
You already paid your portion by getting your hair and nails done, doing your makeup and buying an outfit for the date. Already spent more than the guy at that point. Cause he's expecting you to look good. Then you dish out more by offering to pay for the dinner? The efforts aren't matched!
I think something sounds off when you asked her out and checking to see if she offers to pay. WRONG. Something is wrong with your guest thinking to even bring that up. Sounds like game playing to me. Maybe I would offer to pay to test him, quite frankly if that is what I sensed. Some men seem to have traits that are feminized and that is a huge turn off.
Agree. Men have to take a chance and be willing to invest in the date, even if it doesn't go anywhere. There is a lack of guts and manliness ( I guess those are my values) to not wholeheartedly be willing to take a gamble on an unknown quantity (the woman) with its necessary financial and time investment - unless that same woman shows a willingness to offer to pay and ease the burden of organising the experience. I UNDERSTAND the perspective that some men may want us to show a willingness to contribute to the experience- they may be stingy, have been burned before by freeloaders, they feel the burden of organising the restaurant and pray that we like it and enjoy the experience. But from my perspective, the pleasure of my company is enough, I am worth waiting for, worth spending money on and worth putting effort in for. From a woman's perspective, that effort men put out makes him happy and value her more. All I have to do is be happy and express my appreciation, not offer to pay. And chances are, the woman these male coaches marry won't have offered to pay on the first few dates, and they will be so damned happy and excited to even notice.
EXACTLY. What kind of shit man asks a woman out but expects her to pay. Like is he on the DL or what? Because a man's man doesn't do stupid things like that. Smh. Where the hell did these fruit cakes come from?😂😂😂
So real!!! I will totally offer to pay, on a second or third date, if I'm into a guy, but he asked me out... the first date is just getting to know each other, and see if you are interested enough for another date. He asked, I expect him to pay. I'm a very loving, genuine, and giving person by nature, but I do believe in chivalry, and if he asked me out, then expects to hear me offer to pay, that is a burning red flag for me, and is never gonna happen. I went on a 3rd date just tonight, with a guy I really like. He paid for dinner, then we went for ice cream, which I paid for. If that's not enough to let him know, I'm into him, and willing to invest, then he's not the right guy for me. 😏
Ilt is aweful to expect à woman to pay for food . Where is your masculinity.? So offended... It is not about money. Women like to feel feminine. I am disappointed 😢😲
@@patsysanders6674 NO parsy à woman who knows her value never accepts this kind of situations from à man on a date . It is not about money . This is my opinion. I am a life coach .i work on myself non stop but if a man makes me pay for food ; good sign he is not my type .i am very indépendant financially i can invite à male colleague or friend for lunch and pay but not for someone who invites me. My own company is worth billions 😀
sou sou What exactly makes you worth billions? Both sexes have the ability to look good and act good. I’m all for traditionalism, but no one in their right mind adds worth to women just because they have vaginas.
sou sou You spelled awful wrong and it. And no need to feel disappointed. Just teach your kids (if you will ever have them, I’m sorry if I assumed wrongfully) What your morals are and they will turn out fine because you taught them well.
sou sou oh, I get it! You’re a business lady. This explains your values and reasoning. I like this and respect it. I hope to someday own my own business so hearing your opinion on the matter is interesting and even eye opening. Thank you.
My value alignment is I want a man who is a chivalrous gentleman. Which is why I never offer to pay- never have, never will. It's a great way to weed out the losers and find the right man for me
Woah, woah, woah - $500/dinner on the first date? No way. First, I'd be turned off by this over-the-top spending. Is he insecure? Why is he trying to "impress" just with his wealth? But second, I would wonder if he's using it to pressure me into something physical "just because he paid for this very expensive meal?" I mean, maybe there are different standards where this one coach is from, but for me, it would be an immediate turn-off.
Stephania Romaniuk first of all, maybe he can afford it, second, maybe he likes you a lot, third YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE ANYTHING IN EXCHANGE, nothing! There is no reason to feel pressure to get physical, you are totally worth it, aren’t you?
It’s not a question of “Am I worth it?” It’s a question of what each of us values. If someone wanted to spend that much money that soon, I would question his priorities. To each their own, however. I know that some people value lavish gifts whereas others simply don’t. I agree with you however, that regardless what someone spends on you, it should not affect your decision to reciprocate, particularly physically. However, it may be a red flag, since some people do hold the “tit for tat” mentality. Not saying him, just saying it happens.
@@stephaniaromaniuk808 I know, but some people just have money to expend, if they were struggling financially and then expend that much money on the first day yes, but if they have the capacity, they just do it sometimes, depends on the person...
Thank goodness for my husband. He's an alpha male and would never test me with offering to pay the bill. These three guys on here are great for "pick me" chicks. Everyone needs their match but ladies! DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND RUN FOR THE HILLS if a man thinks it's commendable for you to offer to pay. He's a 50/50 guy. Which means when you have kids they'll have to be in daycare being watched by some other woman with values DIFFERENT from yours...because you HAVE to work..to impress your 50/50 man. But hey maybe that's the kind of suffering life you like 🧐 Let the other women marry those types. STAY FEMININE ladies! Xoxo
Yes, girl! Go tell it on the mountain! 😂😂👏💯💅 As a girl who was raised in traditional culture, I have the traditional/feminine values *and* skills. These type of "men" make me sick! Wish I was back in the 60 or 70s 🤦 And yes, these types of women spoiled it for the feminine ladies out there. I wish God could just bring back all the traditional, old school alpha gentlemen. These are just big boys!
Thanks guys for explaining what is wrong with the modern day guy. You have no clue what a real man is: he is a provider, a protector, and honors his wife and family. You should be an example of strength in character for men. Not a gender-neutral confused alien.
Dr. Antonio has the expectations as if he were a lady lol. Edit: look at all the comments where women will offer to pay and then dump a guy if he agrees. What kind of authenticity is that lol. The same as Dr Antonio wanting the woman to offer to pay but not authentically wanting her to do so. So there are currently thousands of possibilities for a date of two inauthentic people just here in the comment section. I wish people would be sincere with themselves enough not talk about some kind of fake unspoken protocol and authenticity in the same sentence. I don't offer to pay because authentically I want the guy to pay for the date he invited me to. How is it authentic to lie about it to him? Also, friends and dates are two completely different things. Friendship is what it is and my friends will never expect me to sleep with them, cook and clean for them at any point in our relationship.
Completely agree and suggested Antonio not to take women he does not have strong feelings about to 500 dollars restaurant but more for a coffee somewhere where they can spend time, communicate to see if any feelings and connection possible. But when he meets someone special and decides to treat that person right by taking her somewhere expensive, do not expect her to offer to pay just let her feel feminine, be women and get the romantic vibe going.
Couldn't agree more, what these men are looking for is a woman who "plays" the role of authentic but true authenticity means you're going to be yourself, period and not try to meet these unrealistic expectations and jump through these hoops for anyone. It takes a lot of confidence for a man to love an authentic woman because it means he also has to be authentic to meet her where she is. This approach shows a certain level of insecurity which is unattractive to me.
Thank you for helping realize you are not the type of men I want to date! So I will no longer listen to your advice. I’m not looking for an equal, when you can carry a child to term for most of a year than we can speak about equality. I’m interested in dating men who are protectors and providers. Any man who is expecting me to grab my wallet on a date they asked for is insane. That said in the beginning I keep things light, I love coffee dates, bookstores, museums, parks however if the man is choosing a place with a price range upwards of $50/ plate as a way to impress and then expects me to pay you’ve just done the opposite of impress...stick to lunch and breakfast or museums if you don’t want to pay...
Antonio Borrello It’s not a “gesture” if you’re using it as a test of a woman’s generosity in a relationship. A gesture is a “bless you” after a sneeze. Another question is why you would expect financial generosity in a relationship with a woman? Then you’ve just turned her into your mother.
@@AntonioBorrello Like I mentioned previously, this is the wrong scenerio to expect this kind of gesture from a woman. A woman doesn't expect the men to offer to pay for her expenses when she invites you to dinner at her home.
Agree with you, if man testing women financially it is not a man she should date. Even Antonio says it is the thought that counts but looks like a game. It kills man and women vibe.
@@AntonioBorrello Antonio, you seems as a decent and very intelligentl man with good understanding what makes women feel feminine. When you are saying that you test yiur date if she offers to split the check even if you will pay, she will see it in your eyes and body language and even when you pay, she will not walk out felling special and feminine. My advice to the dating coach will be going on a dates to coffee shops. Or somewhere inexpensive but when you know that you found a special someone take her out without applying this financial test, it will pay off in a long run, when her heart belongs to you.
I disagree particularly with the pay for the meal aspect. If I go out with a friend who initiated an outing and invited me first, I wouldn't feel obligated to pay. If a woman doesn't have enough confidence to accept that her presence is the experience a man is after, and she still feels a need to contribute, she might ask specifically, "Would you like me to help with the bill?" Or "Do you need help with the bill?" I honestly wouldn't go if I honestly wouldn't go if I couldn't afford it, just in case he turns out to be the type who expects me to pull half the weight financially in a relationship. It's helpful to know what you're willing to contribute first hand. Also, there is a place for a best friend and it's important to have a few but a man shouldn't be replacing a best friend role for a woman.
So if you're going to lunch with a friend you expect them to pay if they brought it up? That's interesting. My friends and I always split unless one of us offers or is helping the other celebrate an occasion or something.
a. Marie yeah well generally men don’t want to be “friends” with us. They want us to serve them in some way but they don’t value us enough to be pals with us. And that’s what we have GFs for right. I love male company but in my experience they don’t wanna be “friends” they either want sex or they want nothing. 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Marie, if we ask a Man if he needs help with the bill, we will ruin our date, because his ego will be hurt, and he will feel inferior as a man, in that moment. No good emotions there. We can say such thing with some male friends, never with a probable date.
It's funny how their test of her offering to pay goes directly against Adrienne Everhearts theory that this is a test to determine a woman's self-worth and value🤔
I do not appreciate when men talk down about other ladies. Or Black men talking down about Black women. These types of men are Narcissistic, disrespectful and showing their true selves.
You should collaborate with the ladies lady coach Gretta bereisaite ...that'll take these discussions to the next level with both men n women's coach chatting it out together
Great idea! I for one am Disgusted when Jason said "Why do you pay for the check...it's not expected anymore" Where did he get this STUPID information?? It's Dating...you're not my boyfriend. Why should I offer to pay on a Date that I accepted???
Testing a potential partner is instinctive in all, not just men. You may pass all the tests and things still do not workout. When two people meant to be get together, they'll see that some of the conditions they set were simply ridiculous. Be comfortable with who you are and enjoy the ride which this life is.
One day a guy had invited me to restaurant. Then I have proposed him to share the bill, he said yeah thank you 😄 I never saw him again, he failed the test but that's a pity because appart from that he was perfect. I live in France by the way.
This makes no sense. Let's keep it simple: who ever invites is the party that pays. Simple. If the man asks a woman out for dinner, he pays. If a woman asks a man out, then she pays. He/She must always express his/her appreciation and thanks. He/She can then offer to pay for other things during the date: perhaps dessert at a nearby sweet shop, a movie or a nightcap on the way home. Putting too many hidden "tests" in a simple dinner date is a recipe for failure. No one will ever get it completely right. Maybe it's just me but when two of the three men on this panel appear to be unmarried, I have to question their wisdom on this. IJS. 🤔
This is kinda shallow. Emotional connection would take care of all of these superficialities. Dating is a game. Love is not a game. You shouldn't not date because you do not get the sincere person for they are stepping their best foot forward. You have to see their character in a natural setting then that is true. Not the superficialities of dating.
Zeuchehcuez great comment and perspective. Dinner with someone I hardly know is uncomfortable & doesn't do much to get to know someone. An activity of some kind better & go from there
I know my true value and if I feel I'm being tested by a man, EVER, I politely remove myself from the interaction and I'll NEVER grace that person with my presence again. Know your worth!
Don't these same coaches tell women not to be the first one to call or text your date cause you look needy and such but still expect a ty for the dinner chat or text which is it then sheeesh guys 😣 😥 🤪 You coaches make women's heads spin wow
For crying out loud. We are talking about meals and drinks here not expensive jewelry. Gold diggers fall into a whole new category. Men are so darn cheap
Equal?? Sorry guys but women and men are not equal. My company pays the men more money and women get paid less. Men have the upper hand. Men should always pay because they make more doing the same job. When women go to work we get harrassed --- men don't get harrassed. If you want an equal then date another dude.
@@karinjones1669 No. Not with my company my Male coworkers always start at a higher wage and there is plenty of harassment You don't know what goes on in every company. I sense alot of denial with you.
@@karinjones1669 illegal, but happens all the time. Companies create pay scales for jobs, often with tens of thousands of dollars of difference between bottom & top for the same position. Thus, they are "paying equally" because all employees in the same position fall within the stated range.
@@annekatoch8747 Right it's very unfortunate that this illegal stuff happens all the time and there is nothing we do about it because if you complain about it you lose your job. It's what happens when men are in charge. Women get screwed at work and on the dating scene especially if we date clowns like them.
If the man wants to go on a date with a woman there shouldn’t be any need for the woman to have to even offer to pay her half, I just think the woman should be mindful of what she orders so it’s not too expensive
@@AntonioBorrello I thought it was enough just wanting to share my time with him. Not all women care about expensive dinners but we do want to see some effort. I'm not one of the guys and I hate it when a date treats me like one.
Me too, I remember them. I never had anyone expect me to pay for a date, ever, but I do miss guys not coming around to open your car door, or stand when you get up from the table, etc. I think my dad broke the mold, and set me up for a life of heartache with these losers.
I agree. Most men actually would not want a woman who earns so much they can pay for a $500 dinner or at least one who tries to look like she is the man, paying for an extravagant date.
$500 dinner on a 1st date? Kidding right? $200 1st meet... still kidding. 1st dates are chemistry checks. 1st meets for me... no white table cloths and I usually avoid dinner. Afternoon coffee or wine usually turns into dinner. I cannot take advantage on a date. If things are uninspiring, neither side is heavily invested. High value, yet not a princess. Most men don't understand just how endearing slow and easy, authentic excellent manners are to a woman. It's a HUGE statement and oh so appealing. An average looking gentleman instantly turns into Prince Charming!
This is the stupidest thing I have watched today! Love is not about "me". It is about being compassionate to what the person sitting in front of you needs, all egos, fears etc. put aside. So, if your date was feeling awkward in a social situation, help her feel at ease (and expectations and long lists of what "me" wants in the other is a killer! Plus, if you find your perfect girl, you may not make her list of what she wants from you!) Love is also about growing together becoming better versions of ourselves. This only happens when people feel safe and accepted for their quirks and insecurities. Oh, and I bet the two gentlemen on the right and left are still single! Lol.
I think you missed the point. These coaches are talking about a first date, you're talking about love. You're just getting to know each other, how can there be love?
@@kittycat44 first dates lead to second, third, and fourth dates thus love. And if one discounts people on frivolous things on the very first date, and is only interested in what 'self' wants, love never has a chance to grow. My point is, if you put yourself aside and focus on getting to know the person infront of you and engage in making them feel comfortable, you then are engaging in a way where love has a chance to find you. You then become lovable.
pls guys, when you're on the 1st or even 2nd date with a woman, stop getting upset that she never does the fake reach, LOL. honestly, STOP. would you test your best friend?
1st date Man needs to prove himself whether it’s $500 or $1000 bill , the higher the better. This shows how much the man is willing to put in . Also women already pay for so much- the outfit, nice hair, nice skin, perfumes, pedicure/manicure, best under garments that is well over $500 . I will offer to pay a portion AFTER dating for at least 6 months. He needs to really prove himself.
If a man asks me on a date and he is the one who chooses a $500 dinner restaurant, I hope he doesn't expect me to offer to pay. If it was a first date, and it was a reasonable amount of money, then I would.
Exactly! This is ridiculous. If a man choses a super expensive restaurant that's his choice. Why would I offer to pay if I can't even afford that and would never choose a place so expensive myself??
@@AntonioBorrello I was gonna say, WOW! Have I been meeting the wrong men, or what? I don't even know where there's a restaurant that costs that much, unless we order everything and have several bottles of wine. I would be greatly appreciative if he spent that much, but I might balk at the bill and feel uncomfortable, not even knowing what to say. Shocked. I get that was a number you just blurted out, not realizing it at first, but it certainly threw me for a loop!
@@555noelle1 Agreed. Antonio Borrello seems to have that nice blend of old school and modern values. A modern day gentleman, with good manners. #ChivalryIsNotEntirelyDead
Seriously? These so called experts think more of a lady that offers to pay or contribute when “they” initiated the date , they picked the restaurant? What a load! Not one of you three are a real man. That bs about it shows she sees us as equal 🙄 If she asks you out for a second date then you would see her as needy or clingy when then she might show you by paying then she sees you have actual value in HER world!
A man has to feel he's your knight in shining armor. I you go around and pay for the date, he has nothing to contribute and you actually immaculate him. I don't agree with Mark who said, just be you. I think someone needs to tell this sweet, generous woman to hold back and tell her why.
I think the "willing to pay the bill" test is intetesting. This because I always ask for something that I can afford with intent to pay. If he lets me pay, I pay, but he has failed my test and I won't go out with him again. With this said, I do always show up with a little something (choc bar or something small I asked before the date that he likes). I think it is a gentleman's role to pay. Us women have our own role as well. And no, it isn't going to bed with him after the dinner. There will be opportunities where the gal can pay (like making a dinner for a picnic or at home) where the man doesn't feel like he his protecting role has been taken. Yes. We must date always respecting the instinctive man and woman role. If we can't respect that we won't find anybody. It works that way for both men and women. Thank you for your advise. They are always great!
Paying for dinner is in the "good manners" of a man. I always ask "Do you need some help with the bill?". If he says yes, he'll never hear of me again..... biggest test. I was preparing to watch an interesting video. All you talked was money. And ....women are materialistic. 😃
I lost some respect, here. Three successful (?) men justifying why the woman they asked out for dinner needs to pay. So then after buying the guy dinner, is she expected to give him sex, too? Maybe it would just be better to ask for separate checks at the start. If he says, 'no, I got this', he passes that test.
I'm sorry....but...NO matter what..I'm not ordering what I CAN'T afford to pay for myself!! I order what I want because I can. If he were to book it, or play that "Oh, I forgot my wallet at home" game...cool..I don't know what you're going to do, but, umm, I can pay for what I ate/drank!!.....and you definitely get ghosted!!
Agreed! But if you're taking a girl to a very fancy restaurant....be prepared to pay. She wasn't expecting all that - you can't take a Micky D's girl to Nobu and expect her to pick up the tab or offer! What if a guy says sure?? Then she's embarrassed and mad cuz you made her look stupid and worthless...
@@pegacorni302 Absolutely! But there are "man childs" that do dumb shyt like that lol...and then you have some that know they can't afford the bill and STILL proceed to offer to take you out.
Men and women test each other, it’s part of how we find someone who is compatible. What is a deal breaker for one person may not be for another. Dating isn’t just about getting to know someone, it’s about eliminating the wrong ones.
For starters, why you're making it an overkill and taking a first date to a $500 restaurant Antonio, then praying that she would pitch in? Should we call a cab after the dinner and bring flowers so men would like us more?🤣Jezz... How about a casual coffee or drink date so you wont be depressed over a big bill?Secondly, Mark, for someone who pontificates about quality men, you actually think a quality woman would find expecting her to pay on a first date classy and fitting of a quality man? No wonder many women end up dumped. They listen to your expert advice
I agree with you, even though he said he doesn't expect a woman to pay, there a guys out there that would accept the offer and now they (women) are stuck with a bill that they can't afford to pay. No way! Besides HE asked the woman out on the date!
REALLY!! I was SHOCKED! "Women don't expect Men to pay for the meal" The other one is OFFENDED if she doesn't offer to spilt the 500 dollar Check to the Restaurant HE chose?? Really?? A High Value Man. A Man who wants a Relationship...doesn't expect his Date to give him money for ANY reason.
Who married these blokes? If you asked the woman out on a date; why would or should she offer to pay? What’s wrong with yah? That test doesn’t make any sense. They say two heads are better than one. In this case there are three and they still can’t get it right. The Aussie need to go back to Australia and the Dr. need to go back wherever he came from. 😂
A man should always pay if he asks for a date however if he picks an expensive restaurant I think it is classy if the woman orders conservatively, never the most expensive dish which to me is shit testing. Respect and consideration is key in these interactions. Also, if a man seems to want to flaunt his wealth or status, that’s a major turn off for me. I’d rather just have a nice picnic on the beach or in nature. Far less distractions and a more peaceful environment to get to know someone.
@@miffedmicrobiologist6595 I'm totally with you all the way. I like to keep it simple, don't care too much on fancy. I'm always on the conservative side if I know that someone is paying for m, just being respectful that's all. I would go all the way out only if I pay my own meal.
no, please Do Not Do this againe.!!! its the worst video i saw on this chanell!!! When you invite a woman on a date it's your responsibility to take care of her. She will never truly respect you as a man and always think of you as weaker than her. So as a man you should always expect to pay for the date. After all you want her to be able to relax and enjoy her time with you. Showing that you can handle treating her, shows that you can offer protection in the modern world and in future you are able to take care of family. That is all a woman truly wants from her partner . Be confident . Remember that dating her is an investment in your future . Investments cost money. Hope this bad example of yours do not go too far
I suggest these 3 'gentlemen' try this little trick on the women in their lives - unannounced. Do you really think they would even do this? They will say they do, but the ladies in their lives might be surprised to have it dumped on them - as a test.
If he's inviting someone to a very fancy expensive restaurant... It's not my fault he chose a very fancy expensive restaurant. He should pay. Otherwise we're grabbing a bite at a casual restaurant. Also, if we're just finishing the date, saying good night, and I'm thanking him for a wonderful date while ending the date, then there is no reason I should message him first after. This happened to me. The guy wasn't actually interested in me, and that is why he hadn't contacted me again after. He needs to prove his interest. I think men who expect a woman to offer to pay at a very expensive restaurant of his choice should not expect her to offer to pay. Otherwise the woman will probably not go on this date. Fajitas at Chili's versus a 7 course meal at a 5 $tar re$taurant is not the $ame. His budget may not be her same budget. If he wants to impress, let him. He wants to be showy, let him. I'm taking notes on how he acts too.
I used to offer to pay, but I've changed my mind. Being feminine, high moral standards, being appreciative of the meal is the kind of guy I want. That's how I'm raising my boys.
Being courteous is extremely fundamental. Let someone know your intentions. I love it Antonio. Offering to pay is not actually paying because a gentleman will never allow a lady to pay for dinner.
1) Interact with people around, be yourself; 2) offer to pay; but wait for the man to pay; 3) send a text or call to follow up with the date and say thank you & whether or not you want a second date; Inte the beginning of the relastionship found out what a man desires. Value aligment 1) Be your authentic self (be a best friend to the person your on a date with)...
I went out on a date once where this guy stated that 'hei.. You have to pay this amount' when it was him who asked me out. I always offered to pay but if it's this kinda calculativeness, hell no for a 2nd date
In my country men would never even think that the lady has to pay if a guy asks her out for a date. Seriously, such a thought would not even cross their minds and a guy would never let the lady do this. It's considered to be very humiliating.
I always ask to share the bill. If they say yes, there will be no second date. It is my way of testing man. It is not about the money, it is about feeling and being treated like a woman. Thank you Dr. Antonio. I would definitely like to date a man like you! Classy! Thank you for the video!
very interesting approach, but if you ask to pay is not so relevant also.Sometimes men might agree from stupidity of the moment.Maybe he planned to pay for the bill and, when you ask to pay, he will think he offends you as independent woman.You might also lose a good guy.
My Dad always said, “If a man cannot pay for a woman’s dinner, he should not ask her out.”
that is normal behavior unless your looking for a cougar, she can pay after he shows he is a man
Soooo true!!!
Mini Cooper It is about respect. Men naturally want to help, fix things, be a protector. It isn’t about the money, it is about letting a man feel good about himself and his masculinity. By paying half, you rob him of that pleasure. It isn’t about you or sex. That is just your take on it, not his. I know it is hard to do, but let him be a man. You don’t need to prove to him that you are a man too, What guy wants that?
@@maryford7417 we definitely don't want that whats the problem in splliting the bill?
The only male that expected me to pay the bill was my son...when he was a child. Maybe men who want a woman to pay, want you to be his Mommy?
I always offer to pay on the 1st date , but it is my test too. If the man lets me, i will never see him again
Absolutely!!!!!
So true, when did guys decide it's ok to invite YOU on a date and not pay? Weird...
What about the second, third, and following dates?
And more to the point, I'd like to ask you (any of you) if you think that a woman who goes on many dates with many guys, should have a total net cost of $0.00
While a guy who goes on many dates with many women should have a total net cost of perhaps many thousands of dollars?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and the justification for that imbalance.
Cheers 🙂
EXACTLY
Exactly. Not pay nor offer. As soon as I learn the guy expects the girl to "offer", it is a turned off. Not manly.
My take is that these guys are not experts they are just talking about the things they like.
No matter what these 3 guys are saying, the reality will be different in real life. There’s no way they would refuse a second date with a woman they really liked and the first date went extremely well but she didn’t offer to pay.
Trust me, if she ticked all the other boxes barring that one, there WILL be a second date!
Sweetie 187 I agree with you. I have NEVER EVER offer to pay in a first date a d they always come back. The only way I offer or actually paid is when I realize Im not interested on the guy.
I'll offer to pay if I want to get the hell out of there and never want to see the guy again.
😊
You already paid with your Time and presence. Never Ladies open the Wallet.
One of my tests is whether he waits for me to get my car started and drive away before he goes on his way. I just think it shows he wants to make sure I’m safe. To me, that’s good manners.
M Nannette That’s one of my tests also.
Sooo true indeed!
Exactly! As well as I like that they ask me to text that I arrived safely.
Love this @M Nannette! Very very good one. I’ve found that the guys that wait were the ones that were genuinely interested. The ones that didn’t wait revealed more about their character. These were the very selfish men that weren’t so great in empathy department.
This is one of my tests as well. It shows that the man can protect you.
Gentleman I've dated actually get annoyed when I've asked about paying the bill, so I stopped doing it. I don't see how men would expect a lady to offer funding an activity he invited her to in the first place.
Exactly!!
IKR!!
Gentlemen don't! Only Mr. Dusty would even think to ask a Woman money on a Date...especially a FIRST date.
But with that said what I would say then is that if you ask them out then you are solely responsible for the bill
@@annemariedibbern5368 If you ask a Woman on a Date... Yes. You should pick up the CHECK. If course you take her where your Wallet is comfortable.
If he asks me out , and takes me for a $500 dinner, I cannot afford to pay my share for dinner. If he expects me to pay, maybe you should ask me my budget.
lol
Facts!!!
Exactly!! If he was expecting 50/50- pick a place $15-$50 per person type place outside that I will definitely not be offering to pay for myself
THIS. He asks her out and chooses a restaurant that costs $500 to eat at and then expects her to offer? What?
Monica Furlotte If you make minimum wage in a western country $15 is literally 1 hour’s worth of work. You’re telling me you can’t afford that? He should run!
The day I offer to pay on a first date is gonna be NEVER!!!!!!!!!
I always offer to pay (or reack for my wallet in the purse) but if they accept I wont come back. If you dont do this fine but just know that men may see it like you may take them for granted. Also never chose the most expensive thing on 1st date. U never know. Itsselfish to expect too much first time you meet.
NO, the day I pay for dinner if HE invites me, is the end. Your man doesn’t owe you any money unless he offers/invites you/hosts you. Otherwise you are goldigging.
Only if HE invites you.
I reject a man by paying on the first date.
Some things in life should stay CLASSY FOREVER .dont EVER let her pay on a first date if you wanna be a man in her eyes...I don't care even if it's 2050 😍
I think its embarrassing for a woman to pay when the Guy invited her to dinner..
Sad hmm
I think we want them to pay/take care of things because we want to feel their manhood around us,a muscling vibe..we love it when man take care of things,protect us,help us,hold us etc and I think it's in their core to want to do that ,the way we woman like to do feminine gestures for them also...I don't think a guy should feel bad if he is paying for the bill or doing anything else for a woman,if anything, he becomes very much appreciated in her eyes....I think man forget that we woman also take the time and put an effort to do things for them,for example dressing up for them,wearing high heels,being well groomed,making dinner etc...every gender has its Owen way to show his love,care and appreciation to the other, so I think it's a mutual thing .
baby 1 great comment. Don't be afraid to teach your daughter (s) & granddaughter that (if you have one). Let this message get to 2050!!!
@Kerri Hall Thank You Darling❤️ I sure hope this message spreads around😊I see it as a very important matter to teach our children an old school manners. It's 2019 and the world has progressed so much, and it's definitely a blessing, but at the same time we slowly starts to forget about what Class is all about and other fundamental things. A women still wants a men to treat her like a Lady with respect ,and to be a gentleman around her. As I was mentioning in my second comment,I think it's a circle of giving,they give us and we give them back, there is no doubt about that. So if a guy doesn't want to be a gentleman and pay for the bill- o.k, but in my eyes he will be portrayed as a men with Poor Manners.
@@baby-xp9dn I agree and he will be not man in lady,s eyes
I'm South American and have never dated an American man so can not speak to that experience. However, none of my boyfriends have ever allowed me to pay for any date/meal/trip, it would be completely insulting to them as men. I'm completely fine with that.
Lola Cookie I agree. It’s part of the “machismo”: you take care of your women if you’re a real man. The other reply is clearly jealous of the respect Latinas receive, as long as she respects herself first.
Lola Cookie 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You said a mouthful. You are smart.
Love u ..😍😍😍😍😘😙💗💗
Lola Cookie ,it’s an American thing to pay for something when you are out with a man.
In African the man foot everything that’s tells how responsible and a man he is.
I read the title as ' How Men Test Women featuring 3 Male Dating Cockroaches'. I love my brain
🤣🤣🤣 I love you so much right now!
😂❤️
Pretty Apt TBH 😁
I had to go back and look at it😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂🤗
This is interesting, I usually offer to contribute on a date as my own test - if they want us to split it they won’t hear from me again 😂
If he asks me out but then lets me pay, he has failed my test.
yessssssss!!!!
Cultural differences! In Europe, women are not allowed to pay , when on a date with men. This is in order to ALLOW the man to show his 'manhood'. Paying instead of him, is humiliating him ( 'cutting his balls'). This is the education! - When a woman WANTS to refuse discreetly a man, she will INSISTS hardly to pay her share, but this is a diplomatic way to say 'thanks, I do NOT want a second date with you'. This IS the European rule on dating.... :) Of course, when he is only a friend, and not a 'prospect', automatically women will pay their share (not the whole bill). - In USA, I was amazed to find out that women insisted to pay the bills without asking the permission of the man, before doing this :) In Europe, doing openly this means that the man is a payed escort ('gigolo').... :)
amen
@@anielalucian I'm American and I was raised with the same views about dating. I don't know why guys are trying to change it up now. I'm guessing it's because they have less money now than in the past, but if that's the case, don't date until your finances are in order. Friends go dutch on the bill but when you're dating the guy should cover it off he expects to be taken seriously.
Also if he pays for your dinner but asks you to cover the hotel room, he's most likely failed the test. Or, he makes the comment that she should pay because she makes more money.
Chivalry is a must from a real gentleman. Never settle for less ladies. ❤️🌟💫
❣️
What happened to men yesterday’s man? When I was in my 20s men asked, men paid. 30 years later, men want to be treated like they are the prize & want women to prove we are worthy of their company. 🤔
Jacqueline Harris exactly. This foolishness we have going on in society now is ridiculous. We women are the prize. The super chases the egg not the other way around. These coaches’ statement is unsettling. 🤨
Jacqueline Harris ummm you turned 50 you haven’t been a prize in 25 years
indeed
Nothing is more expensive than a date you don’t want to be on.
Exactly. We WOMEN PAY with our Beautiful presence and company.
Jesus Christ that’s true.
I have my own place, pay my own bills, pay everything I buy, and have zero debt. I will NOT offer to pay on a date. If a man gets turned off by that, then he’s not for me.
Why would you not pay if you invite him? That’s rude.
Any man who's on a date with a woman he's seriously interested in will naturally want to show he can "provide" and will insist on paying.
My belief is that if he's happy to go half or for the woman to pay on the first few dates he either isn't that into her or he'll always expect a woman to take care of him.
100%
I agree, that's a sign he isn't really interested .
When me and my man started dating i had to fight him to pay. Even now sometimes he just wont let me.
@@ibeatufil that's really good!
Carla: Exactly!
I find it so interesting to hear about the “offering to pay the bill” test from you gentlemen. I do the same, but conversely, when I would offer to pick up the tab, and my date would agree, then that was my dealbreaker. I have, in the past, on such occasions, paid the tab, then gracefully declined any further invitation for future dates. A high value woman should not be allowed to pay the tab, especially on a first date. And a man that recognizes her value, should not expect her to even offer, again, especially on a first date. If a man invites a woman out for dinner, then feels it is acceptable for her to pay for it, then he’s failed MY test. On the other hand, I have picked up many a tab.....when a relationship has been established, and happy to do it for my guy at any time....when and if he accepts that from me.
Antonio Borrello wether we are referencing the entire bill, or just a portion, any expectation that your date offer to pay any part, on a first date especially, should not be the basis for which the man decides whether or not he calls her again. (If you recall, you did say you wouldn’t be calling her again if she did not offer to pay, portion or whatever). Actually, on second thought, it’s probably a blessing in disguise if he doesn’t call again, if these are indeed his views about a woman’s character. There are so many other indicators of generosity, good character, nurturing, and consideration than financial ones, especially for a woman, that are shown over a lengthier interim of time beyond when the bill arrives after dinner. And btw, I’ve been told, by men (good friends, family, romantic interests alike) who would never hear of their date/gfs, etc... paying, or expect any such offer, that it’s emasculating.
Over half of the dates I've been on throughout the years, I've said "oh I can pay for my meal" when the bill came, and the men said "ok"... When they were the ones that invited me out. My mood instantly changed and I just wanted to leave. Sometimes I brought it up later and they said "I believe in equality, I guess we just have different viewpoints" . Many also don't offer to help with heavy bags,etc... Am I missing something? Or is this how guys are now??
Katuisha Mannanov unfortunately, this is how some of them are becoming, semi-feminine.
Marina G 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@AntonioBorrello Basic manners. You're certainly not asking for too much.
If you can't pay the bill on the first date, don't ask for a 2nd. I will never offer to pay the bill.
Me either! I won't ever!
For me, SIMPLE: If the guy is the one who asked for a date (especially 1st date), then he should be the one to pay. Lol😂
Kris Angela Viray I agree... and they always do and it’s never been an issue. x
@@beccareynolds4625 yeah I mean, they are normally the one who's asking for a date that's why it seems like the guy who's always paying.
Women have to let the man lead on the first date. If you find yourself going Dutch, he’s not that into you...
If that is the case then I am glad as he is a very insecure man and a turnoff so win win.
Dutch men also pay for their women, that expression is bullshit.
Going dutch😁🤣🤣🤣
If you ask me out to dinner you pay, you chose the restaurant. When I ask you out for dinner I will pay. Do not have any expectations of someone else early on when dating except for basic treatment...respect, manners...When I’ve gone out to movies he paid for the movie and I paid for popcorn.
While you’re subconsciously testing me, I’m subconsciously testing you.
@@AntonioBorrello thanks for being a man and paying 😏🙂
Fair to pay for something's but I'm am not trying to take the "man out of the man" good to see chivalry isn't dead. Also good to see a man out effort , when ive gone on dates with guys they expect me 2 pay and my thoughts are if you want to see me and date me it's called "investment" same as I do with you to take time out of my day get ready to "present myself"I would atleast expect the bill to be payed
@@causeisaidsobitshkissazz1245 lololololol...ikr!!! His attractiveness just went up even more with that!!
Dr. @@AntonioBorrello is the man! 💗💗💗😍💋
@@causeisaidsobitshkissazz1245 well said.i never considered how much time and money i put in my apperence, how i present myself I like the man to pay at first few dates of course, but i never had this reasoin as well.Women need to raise their standards :))
This guy is crazy! Any man who would wait for a woman to “Offer to pay the bill “ on a first date is a loser!
Or period!!! I’m not paying for anything unless I’m in a relationship
but i think they are saying its just a test, feeling out ways to test a girl you may want to see if she's a keeper
@@Angela-po7cr well I think its differences of go dinner together or being on the date .If I want to ask somebody on date I think ofcourse Im paying 😅 If people offer me to pay when it is clear Im paying very rude .I mean you dont take dinner with you to people who are inviting you to dinner 😅
Then the test would’ve been a success
Totally absurd!!! That would mean we as women would be acting in our "masculine energy."
You are not the man to text him after a date never chase a men a real men will text you first after the date and never expect you to propose to pay on a date real men know that 🤚🏽
Great point, thank him after the dinner but let him to initiate the next step, text in this case
❣️
Right?! Like they're totally advocating the woman to chase and be in the masculine role. It's so bazaar.
Do what you wanna. Just don’t creep.
If I decide to pay the bill, it will only mean that don't expect to hear from me again.
Maureen Kam yes exactly one day I had such ridiculous date with a guy who were unable to offer me a drink. On the same evening, we decide to go to a restaurant and as I saw he didn’t want to invite me, I paid for both and at the end he never see me anymore! I forgot he tried to kiss me at the end of the date 😂😂😂 I should precise he was a lawyer so no prob to find some cash!
@@marionette512 You should not even have dinner with him. It's not that he's unable to pay for the drinks. It's just that he thinks it's not worth the investment. I am a Chinese. If I were with a white man (as I'm about to date one), I'll diplomatically educate him.on my culture that it is disrespectful for the woman to pay for the man as he will be deemed as a gigloo. 😉
Hahahha trueee...if I pay is coz I dont want him to argue or say anything wrong from me when I dont see him again... usually is only when it was a bad guy..kind of bastard treating bad the waiter and everybody around...
But I truly offer to good guys too.
@@maureenkam9212 haha exactely the point in my comment.it's such a cultural thing.i talked about european values and how they differentiate between eastern countries and western.let's not generalise this test.is not so accurate
Why not pay as a sign of good will? It doesn’t need to be a habit. I think it’s a little egotistical to be so offended by the idea of occasionally paying a bill, especially if it’s a good guy. Just my opinion.
Culture & upbringing plays a huge role on men's dating style...In my world men are proud to provide.
Im in shock about the dinner bill...I am southern and I wouldnt think to offer to pay for a man or myself on a date. We would not be aligned in our beliefs and values. I am the cheapest date... I eat veggies and rarely drink more than perrier. It's not the cost....it's the principle.
@Gabriela Martinyuk I do tend to feel that if someone asks you out, then they should pay (and any man with manners would never let you pay in that case). By the same token, if YOU have suggested that you and a man should go out, then you the woman, should pay. But these guys are just saying it shows character if the lady offers to pay her half, not that they expect her to do so. It can become very tricky though, if you get stuck with even half of an expensive meal and you can't really afford it. I would take that as a huge sign that he wasn't interested in me, if that happened. I think it's nice for the lady to offer to leave the tip, though. Or pay if you go for ice cream or a drink afterwards. It will go a long way with a lot a men towards showing them that you're not just out for their money, or a free meal.
Of course it’s the principle! You can go to a 200$ dinner instead of a 500$,I always hang around with at least 1k in cash+cards,but if an imbecil has the bad luck to even suggest me paying a restaurant bill,I’ll let him there to wash the dishes😂
Hi
Mark mentioned looking for equality in the "pay the cheque" conversation: a woman whose income lags behind a man's is a commonplace unfortunately. she may have a great job, a job she loves, that doesn't pay. she may be a single mom raising a child or more on a single income. her offer to pay or share the pay would be exemplary given what she must sacrifice. but: is her non-ability to pay a sign of non-equality? ... when money becomes a sign of what's equal, we are definitely in dark times...
yes!
These guys are Pitiful 🤦🏾♀️
And also she had to expend hundreds of dollars on her hair, nails, makeup and look. He just have to show up lol
Excellent point! 👍
Really dark.. sadly
When men ask me out on first and second dates they pay. That's my test. If we go on a third date or a man has to travel to see me then I'll offer to pay and happily pay if he lets me. When a man tells me "just worry about picking out the dress", I melt!!!
how many dresses you got so far?!!!
You should never offer to pay for any dates. Watch SheraSeven1 if you're ready to hear what has been hidden from women all this time.
@@minamilly777 r u a man or a woman
Nymph Circe: yessss! Ashera is the best!!!!!!
Isabel M: I melt when he takes me out shopping so he can buy said dress....and earrings, and shoes, etc. haha! 🥰
For me, First date man pays the bill.
If a man expecting me to split the bill first day. it will be no second date.🤷♀️😜😬
Frankie Olivera -I Agree...I lose immediate respect for a man that expects me to pay on the first date. I don’t mind chipping in on any other get together, but never on a first date.
Frankie Olivera PERIOD 😂
Me too. Its a turn off when a man on a 1st date wants to split the bill
Frankie Olivera *truth*
My dad said the same thing. Men usually pursue the woman he's interested in to ask her out on a date. And he should pay! Women should not be offering to pay for first dates. But my dad also said: After the first date, if this man is someone you would like to see again, the next date offer to pay.
BTW: My dad is the type of guy that never ask women he's dinning with pay for food and drinks. Even his good female friends we meet in the city for lunch and they fight with him over the bill. My dad always wins 🤷🏼♀️ His girlfriend makes more than him and he still pays for date nights.
When I’ve offered to pay my half on the first date, I’ve either ended up stuck with the entire bill &/or ended up having to support that man later on.
Dutch treat has to be mutually agreed on or it’s a lunch/coffee thing.
Just to let you know: if a woman says “thank you, I had a wonderful evening” after a date, maybe right before she leaves, then she expects you to send her a text and say I had a wonderful evening with you, would love to repeat this - or she’ll assume you don’t want to see her again because you didn’t enjoy the evening as much as she did. It’s up to the man.
Totally agree. Otherwise, the woman is pursuing the man and that's a big turn off.
Spot on! 👍
All three of you are NOT alpha males no matter how many videos you are posting. If man truly likes women in a romantic way and wants to cherish and protect her, he will not even think to get into her wallet.
Hello Antonio, thank you for your reply. The point I am making here is that when you said you expect women to offer to pay for dinner even if you will pay, still it is not kind and sounds like may be you are not on a date with a women who you REALLY like and want to be a man with her. I can elaborate but I think you understand my point. There are no genuine traditional deeply happy feeling for women about a man who wants her to offer to pay. It is so important that man will put effort to make perfect date with someone he really likes.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
WHY ON EARTH should an INVITED GUEST “at least offer to pay” for the HOST’s HOSPITALITY?
If I INVITE a man to be my GUEST-say I cook dinner at home-I don’t expect him to pay for the groceries or other “production costs.” He is my GUEST. I am his HOSTESS. It’s not complicated.
Yes I have been with my fiance for 3 years and I never had to pay for dates. When we were getting to know each after the third date I offered he said "no I got it don't worry" After that we would go out alot dancing, out to breakfast, dinners, and I went to put my credit card in the envelope and he took it out and said " Baby whenever we go out don't worry." I literally melted 🥰🤗💍
French Vanilla So sweet
I'll pay when we achieve economic equality...plus regardless of how independent and financially secure I am ...if he can't pull a chair out or pay for a meal what else "can't/won't " he do. It's a matter of respect...if he didn't want to buy me a meal why invite me to dine...I'd literally request to split the bill, pay for my own and announce that we were now just 2 strangers dining at the same table and leave.
Mitty Monkey amen to that. All the men I know earn waaaay more than me. I’m a part time working single mother and student. I very rarely go out or spend money on myself it all goes on my boy and my future. I ain’t got cash to pay for dinner for a man who is earning tons of cash especially if he orders a £500.00 bottle of wine... I can’t afford that!! Damn!! I’ll drink the wine though 🤣 and eat the food. Thx
@@beccareynolds4625 lol right! A woman's struggle in this world is too great not to be rewarded with a meal and a glass of wine... minimally.
Let's have a toast to a great future and great dates with considerate men xxx
@@mittymonkey3898 Exactly darling....and the rest. When patriarchy ceases to exist then maybe we can talk about splitting the bill.
Honey you pay when you are inviting, thats it.
@@mittymonkey3898but don’t sell yourself for what you can’t afford. I’ll eat ramen before I accept a lobster dinner from a man I don’t care for.
Please do not take me to an expensive restaurant and expect me to pay the half of the bill or even expect an offer to pay. That is actually mean. At least this would be my impression on you.
And it will kill the Roman e and the attraction
Where did you get your coaching degree from? And what kind if women are you looking for? You not only diminished yourself, your work, your video, lol your advise doesn't pertain to a real woman. This is not only a weak approach it is weak thinking. And I am being nice.
I cannot believe these guys would talk about paying for dinner. And they spent so much time in that. As a woman, I feel that if the man expects the woman to pay, my take is that he is a total LOOSER. I would not want to see him again. It has never happened to me. I believe the roles are different. The man is the man. He is the provider, regardless of whether the woman has the means ot not.
I disagree, maybe it is a cultural thing for us women. I almost always ask my first date if I can pay, but I understand they want to pay and like that they value me to do it. However, I want an equal and as equal men and women pays. I pay for the third or forth date to show him, I like spending time with him
THE MAN IS PURSUING "YOU" LADIES..."YOU" are the prize...and because of that, he wants show and give you good experience of himself...
You already paid your portion by getting your hair and nails done, doing your makeup and buying an outfit for the date. Already spent more than the guy at that point. Cause he's expecting you to look good. Then you dish out more by offering to pay for the dinner? The efforts aren't matched!
For the record I agree with you Olga ..my comment was more of a response to the others.
This video failed the test!!
The Truth Hurt 😂🤣💀
If a man wears a man bun it’s a test to see if he’s a real man and he fails
LMAO
It’s a no from me dawg😂
That’s why he wants to take on the feminine role!
I think something sounds off when you asked her out and checking to see if she offers to pay. WRONG. Something is wrong with your guest thinking to even bring that up. Sounds like game playing to me. Maybe I would offer to pay to test him, quite frankly if that is what I sensed. Some men seem to have traits that are feminized and that is a huge turn off.
Agree. Men have to take a chance and be willing to invest in the date, even if it doesn't go anywhere. There is a lack of guts and manliness ( I guess those are my values) to not wholeheartedly be willing to take a gamble on an unknown quantity (the woman) with its necessary financial and time investment - unless that same woman shows a willingness to offer to pay and ease the burden of organising the experience. I UNDERSTAND the perspective that some men may want us to show a willingness to contribute to the experience- they may be stingy, have been burned before by freeloaders, they feel the burden of organising the restaurant and pray that we like it and enjoy the experience. But from my perspective, the pleasure of my company is enough, I am worth waiting for, worth spending money on and worth putting effort in for. From a woman's perspective, that effort men put out makes him happy and value her more. All I have to do is be happy and express my appreciation, not offer to pay. And chances are, the woman these male coaches marry won't have offered to pay on the first few dates, and they will be so damned happy and excited to even notice.
Agree
EXACTLY. What kind of shit man asks a woman out but expects her to pay. Like is he on the DL or what? Because a man's man doesn't do stupid things like that. Smh. Where the hell did these fruit cakes come from?😂😂😂
Dang...where are the real men at..OMGOOODNESS!!!
So real!!! I will totally offer to pay, on a second or third date, if I'm into a guy, but he asked me out... the first date is just getting to know each other, and see if you are interested enough for another date. He asked, I expect him to pay. I'm a very loving, genuine, and giving person by nature, but I do believe in chivalry, and if he asked me out, then expects to hear me offer to pay, that is a burning red flag for me, and is never gonna happen. I went on a 3rd date just tonight, with a guy I really like. He paid for dinner, then we went for ice cream, which I paid for. If that's not enough to let him know, I'm into him, and willing to invest, then he's not the right guy for me. 😏
Ilt is aweful to expect à woman to pay for food . Where is your masculinity.? So offended... It is not about money. Women like to feel feminine. I am disappointed 😢😲
I think it is appropriate for a man to pay on the first date. She could offer to leave a tip. She could pay on a later date.
@@patsysanders6674 NO parsy à woman who knows her value never accepts this kind of situations from à man on a date . It is not about money . This is my opinion. I am a life coach .i work on myself non stop but if a man makes me pay for food ; good sign he is not my type .i am very indépendant financially i can invite à male colleague or friend for lunch and pay but not for someone who invites me. My own company is worth billions 😀
sou sou What exactly makes you worth billions? Both sexes have the ability to look good and act good. I’m all for traditionalism, but no one in their right mind adds worth to women just because they have vaginas.
sou sou You spelled awful wrong and it. And no need to feel disappointed. Just teach your kids (if you will ever have them, I’m sorry if I assumed wrongfully) What your morals are and they will turn out fine because you taught them well.
sou sou oh, I get it! You’re a business lady. This explains your values and reasoning. I like this and respect it. I hope to someday own my own business so hearing your opinion on the matter is interesting and even eye opening. Thank you.
My value alignment is I want a man who is a chivalrous gentleman. Which is why I never offer to pay- never have, never will. It's a great way to weed out the losers and find the right man for me
You always eat on a man’s dime you’ll dance to his tune in other ways too.
Woah, woah, woah - $500/dinner on the first date? No way. First, I'd be turned off by this over-the-top spending. Is he insecure? Why is he trying to "impress" just with his wealth? But second, I would wonder if he's using it to pressure me into something physical "just because he paid for this very expensive meal?" I mean, maybe there are different standards where this one coach is from, but for me, it would be an immediate turn-off.
Stephania Romaniuk first of all, maybe he can afford it, second, maybe he likes you a lot, third YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE ANYTHING IN EXCHANGE, nothing! There is no reason to feel pressure to get physical, you are totally worth it, aren’t you?
It’s not a question of “Am I worth it?” It’s a question of what each of us values. If someone wanted to spend that much money that soon, I would question his priorities. To each their own, however. I know that some people value lavish gifts whereas others simply don’t.
I agree with you however, that regardless what someone spends on you, it should not affect your decision to reciprocate, particularly physically. However, it may be a red flag, since some people do hold the “tit for tat” mentality. Not saying him, just saying it happens.
@@stephaniaromaniuk808 I know, but some people just have money to expend, if they were struggling financially and then expend that much money on the first day yes, but if they have the capacity, they just do it sometimes, depends on the person...
Thank goodness for my husband. He's an alpha male and would never test me with offering to pay the bill. These three guys on here are great for "pick me" chicks. Everyone needs their match but ladies! DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND RUN FOR THE HILLS if a man thinks it's commendable for you to offer to pay. He's a 50/50 guy. Which means when you have kids they'll have to be in daycare being watched by some other woman with values DIFFERENT from yours...because you HAVE to work..to impress your 50/50 man.
But hey maybe that's the kind of suffering life you like 🧐
Let the other women marry those types. STAY FEMININE ladies! Xoxo
Agree♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
You couldn't articulate better how feminine women feel about 50/50 guys, in this case 3 dating coaches
Yes, girl! Go tell it on the mountain! 😂😂👏💯💅 As a girl who was raised in traditional culture, I have the traditional/feminine values *and* skills. These type of "men" make me sick! Wish I was back in the 60 or 70s 🤦 And yes, these types of women spoiled it for the feminine ladies out there. I wish God could just bring back all the traditional, old school alpha gentlemen. These are just big boys!
Shanique Cairon honestly . Thank God . Don’t mind these lame coaches
Yesssss well said
Thanks guys for explaining what is wrong with the modern day guy. You have no clue what a real man is: he is a provider, a protector, and honors his wife and family. You should be an example of strength in character for men. Not a gender-neutral confused alien.
yes Laura, dead on.. thank you!
Amen my dear!
Yes!
@@nicolepace7120 yt?
yassssssssss sis.....*claps hands gleefully*
Dr. Antonio has the expectations as if he were a lady lol. Edit: look at all the comments where women will offer to pay and then dump a guy if he agrees. What kind of authenticity is that lol. The same as Dr Antonio wanting the woman to offer to pay but not authentically wanting her to do so. So there are currently thousands of possibilities for a date of two inauthentic people just here in the comment section. I wish people would be sincere with themselves enough not talk about some kind of fake unspoken protocol and authenticity in the same sentence. I don't offer to pay because authentically I want the guy to pay for the date he invited me to. How is it authentic to lie about it to him? Also, friends and dates are two completely different things. Friendship is what it is and my friends will never expect me to sleep with them, cook and clean for them at any point in our relationship.
Completely agree and suggested Antonio not to take women he does not have strong feelings about to 500 dollars restaurant but more for a coffee somewhere where they can spend time, communicate to see if any feelings and connection possible. But when he meets someone special and decides to treat that person right by taking her somewhere expensive, do not expect her to offer to pay just let her feel feminine, be women and get the romantic vibe going.
Couldn't agree more, what these men are looking for is a woman who "plays" the role of authentic but true authenticity means you're going to be yourself, period and not try to meet these unrealistic expectations and jump through these hoops for anyone. It takes a lot of confidence for a man to love an authentic woman because it means he also has to be authentic to meet her where she is. This approach shows a certain level of insecurity which is unattractive to me.
Stardust: anyone notice only one of these guys are married.
I have my preferences. He has to be the man. He is the pursuer. I am the prize. He will take up the tab.
What makes you the prize
Yes!!! Amen 🙏
Thank you for helping realize you are not the type of men I want to date! So I will no longer listen to your advice.
I’m not looking for an equal, when you can carry a child to term for most of a year than we can speak about equality. I’m interested in dating men who are protectors and providers. Any man who is expecting me to grab my wallet on a date they asked for is insane. That said in the beginning I keep things light, I love coffee dates, bookstores, museums, parks however if the man is choosing a place with a price range upwards of $50/ plate as a way to impress and then expects me to pay you’ve just done the opposite of impress...stick to lunch and breakfast or museums if you don’t want to pay...
Antonio Borrello It’s not a “gesture” if you’re using it as a test of a woman’s generosity in a relationship. A gesture is a “bless you” after a sneeze. Another question is why you would expect financial generosity in a relationship with a woman? Then you’ve just turned her into your mother.
@@AntonioBorrello Like I mentioned previously, this is the wrong scenerio to expect this kind of gesture from a woman.
A woman doesn't expect the men to offer to pay for her expenses when she invites you to dinner at her home.
Agree with you, if man testing women financially it is not a man she should date. Even Antonio says it is the thought that counts but looks like a game. It kills man and women vibe.
@@AntonioBorrello Antonio, you seems as a decent and very intelligentl man with good understanding what makes women feel feminine. When you are saying that you test yiur date if she offers to split the check even if you will pay, she will see it in your eyes and body language and even when you pay, she will not walk out felling special and feminine. My advice to the dating coach will be going on a dates to coffee shops. Or somewhere inexpensive but when you know that you found a special someone take her out without applying this financial test, it will pay off in a long run, when her heart belongs to you.
@@shermyluvstrent AGREE
I disagree particularly with the pay for the meal aspect. If I go out with a friend who initiated an outing and invited me first, I wouldn't feel obligated to pay. If a woman doesn't have enough confidence to accept that her presence is the experience a man is after, and she still feels a need to contribute, she might ask specifically, "Would you like me to help with the bill?" Or "Do you need help with the bill?" I honestly wouldn't go if I honestly wouldn't go if I couldn't afford it, just in case he turns out to be the type who expects me to pull half the weight financially in a relationship. It's helpful to know what you're willing to contribute first hand. Also, there is a place for a best friend and it's important to have a few but a man shouldn't be replacing a best friend role for a woman.
So if you're going to lunch with a friend you expect them to pay if they brought it up? That's interesting. My friends and I always split unless one of us offers or is helping the other celebrate an occasion or something.
a. Marie yeah well generally men don’t want to be “friends” with us. They want us to serve them in some way but they don’t value us enough to be pals with us. And that’s what we have GFs for right. I love male company but in my experience they don’t wanna be “friends” they either want sex or they want nothing. 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Edward Mersenne how can you know that?
Marie, if we ask a Man if he needs help with the bill, we will ruin our date, because his ego will be hurt, and he will feel inferior as a man, in that moment. No good emotions there. We can say such thing with some male friends, never with a probable date.
It's funny how their test of her offering to pay goes directly against Adrienne Everhearts theory that this is a test to determine a woman's self-worth and value🤔
This level of manipulation? Hard pass.
I find it hard to believe these grown man are expecting their date to go for her wallet on the first date......boi bye!!!
You..I was like..men of today have truly become feminized....damn. I'll just stay home with my Nerflix..popcorn and Hennessy...
lyhmedia 52 haha
Fraggle Rocks I know right smh 🤦♀️
I have no problem with it
Life, in general, is a test, constantly adding to it is what makes a lot of dating unnecessarily hard.
OMG, I date amazing men, they always pay. We test too.
I do not appreciate when men talk down about other ladies. Or Black men talking down about Black women. These types of men are Narcissistic, disrespectful and showing their true selves.
You should collaborate with the ladies lady coach Gretta bereisaite ...that'll take these discussions to the next level with both men n women's coach chatting it out together
Great idea! I for one am Disgusted when Jason said "Why do you pay for the check...it's not expected anymore" Where did he get this STUPID information?? It's Dating...you're not my boyfriend. Why should I offer to pay on a Date that I accepted???
@rachel: dont listen to these fools. They sound cheapass to me. These guys dont know what they are talking about smh
Testing a potential partner is instinctive in all, not just men. You may pass all the tests and things still do not workout. When two people meant to be get together, they'll see that some of the conditions they set were simply ridiculous. Be comfortable with who you are and enjoy the ride which this life is.
One day a guy had invited me to restaurant. Then I have proposed him to share the bill, he said yeah thank you 😄 I never saw him again, he failed the test but that's a pity because appart from that he was perfect. I live in France by the way.
Nah, not interested on another video.
This makes no sense. Let's keep it simple: who ever invites is the party that pays. Simple. If the man asks a woman out for dinner, he pays. If a woman asks a man out, then she pays. He/She must always express his/her appreciation and thanks. He/She can then offer to pay for other things during the date: perhaps dessert at a nearby sweet shop, a movie or a nightcap on the way home. Putting too many hidden "tests" in a simple dinner date is a recipe for failure. No one will ever get it completely right. Maybe it's just me but when two of the three men on this panel appear to be unmarried, I have to question their wisdom on this. IJS. 🤔
women... high value women... should not ask men on dates
Be careful because I did that and my boyfriend rarely ever paid for anything ever. You teach them in the beginning.
@@nicolepace7120
GENEROSITY IS PART OF BEING "HIGH VALUE".
FINALLY ‼️‼️I've read all these comments and YOU'RE the first person I can TOTALLY AGREE WITH., 👍👍👍👍👍
This is kinda shallow. Emotional connection would take care of all of these superficialities. Dating is a game. Love is not a game. You shouldn't not date because you do not get the sincere person for they are stepping their best foot forward. You have to see their character in a natural setting then that is true. Not the superficialities of dating.
zeuchehcuez I agree. I don’t play games. It’s immature and cruel. It takes a long time to get to know someone genuinely.
Zeuchehcuez great comment and perspective. Dinner with someone I hardly know is uncomfortable & doesn't do much to get to know someone. An activity of some kind better & go from there
Totally agree with you, let loose and just be yourself
I know my true value and if I feel I'm being tested by a man, EVER, I politely remove myself from the interaction and I'll NEVER grace that person with my presence again. Know your worth!
Amen!
Appalling.
Really took yourselves down 100 notches in my eyes. I won’t be seeking our the advice of either of these coaches.
Coaches is a kind word
I agree. Are they joking here? I find these men disrespectful and I’m not interested in them and/or any of their dating advice. I’m running away.
Don't these same coaches tell women not to be the first one to call or text your date cause you look needy and such but still expect a ty for the dinner chat or text which is it then sheeesh guys 😣 😥 🤪
You coaches make women's heads spin wow
I think they are brainwashing women…..switch to Susan winter. At least she’s on the woman’s side.
Thank you. I will be using this test and early. I will be offering to pay, if allowed, I walk. I am not your college roommate.
I expect guys to pay for me and I consider it to be a gentleman otherwise I think he is cheap
atleast he didnt date a gold digger right from the start
@@bothack8874 That doesn't make her a Gold-digger, that makes her a Traditional woman who's looking for a strong, manly man!
@@Marabiyosa1 preach girl
@@bothack8874 if you're trying to impress a woman and you're thinking about making her pay half then you're fooling yourself. Men pursue women settle
For crying out loud. We are talking about meals and drinks here not expensive jewelry. Gold diggers fall into a whole new category. Men are so darn cheap
Equal?? Sorry guys but women and men are not equal. My company pays the men more money and women get paid less.
Men have the upper hand. Men should always pay because they make more doing the same job. When women go to work we get harrassed --- men don't get harrassed. If you want an equal then date another dude.
Susan, women and Men are paid the same for the same job. It is illegal to be paid unequally.
I agree. Until patriarchy is no longer a thing, this it it.
@@karinjones1669 No. Not with my company my Male coworkers always start at a higher wage and there is plenty of harassment
You don't know what goes on in every company. I sense alot of denial with you.
@@karinjones1669 illegal, but happens all the time. Companies create pay scales for jobs, often with tens of thousands of dollars of difference between bottom & top for the same position. Thus, they are "paying equally" because all employees in the same position fall within the stated range.
@@annekatoch8747 Right it's very unfortunate that this illegal stuff happens all the time and there is nothing we do about it because if you complain about it you lose your job. It's what happens when men are in charge. Women get screwed at work and on the dating scene especially if we date clowns like them.
If the man wants to go on a date with a woman there shouldn’t be any need for the woman to have to even offer to pay her half, I just think the woman should be mindful of what she orders so it’s not too expensive
Honestly....I order what I would order for myself if I was alone....
I will never pay for the date, NEVER
@@AntonioBorrello I thought it was enough just wanting to share my time with him. Not all women care about expensive dinners but we do want to see some effort. I'm not one of the guys and I hate it when a date treats me like one.
Miss Real Men: who would all but consider it an "insult" if the woman offered to pay.
Me too, I remember them. I never had anyone expect me to pay for a date, ever, but I do miss guys not coming around to open your car door, or stand when you get up from the table, etc. I think my dad broke the mold, and set me up for a life of heartache with these losers.
An ideal husband is a provider, a Protector, a kind Godly Family Man. He is a giver and honestly wants to please His Wife.
Davida Lawson So men suppose to give and not receive nothing?? God said don’t be a fool either lol
Why would someone take a person they barely know to a 500 dollar dinner? Really..lol. hope you don't ask anyone to pay.
I agree. Most men actually would not want a woman who earns so much they can pay for a $500 dinner or at least one who tries to look like she is the man, paying for an extravagant date.
$500 dinner on a 1st date? Kidding right? $200 1st meet... still kidding. 1st dates are chemistry checks. 1st meets for me... no white table cloths and I usually avoid dinner. Afternoon coffee or wine usually turns into dinner. I cannot take advantage on a date. If things are uninspiring, neither side is heavily invested. High value, yet not a princess. Most men don't understand just how endearing slow and easy, authentic excellent manners are to a woman. It's a HUGE statement and oh so appealing. An average looking gentleman instantly turns into Prince Charming!
This is the stupidest thing I have watched today! Love is not about "me". It is about being compassionate to what the person sitting in front of you needs, all egos, fears etc. put aside. So, if your date was feeling awkward in a social situation, help her feel at ease (and expectations and long lists of what "me" wants in the other is a killer! Plus, if you find your perfect girl, you may not make her list of what she wants from you!) Love is also about growing together becoming better versions of ourselves. This only happens when people feel safe and accepted for their quirks and insecurities. Oh, and I bet the two gentlemen on the right and left are still single! Lol.
Love your comment, completely agree on what love is about
Thank you! compliment much appreciated.
I think you missed the point. These coaches are talking about a first date, you're talking about love. You're just getting to know each other, how can there be love?
@@kittycat44 first dates lead to second, third, and fourth dates thus love. And if one discounts people on frivolous things on the very first date, and is only interested in what 'self' wants, love never has a chance to grow. My point is, if you put yourself aside and focus on getting to know the person infront of you and engage in making them feel comfortable, you then are engaging in a way where love has a chance to find you. You then become lovable.
pls guys, when you're on the 1st or even 2nd date with a woman, stop getting upset that she never does the fake reach, LOL. honestly, STOP.
would you test your best friend?
I never meet a man who’s let me pay for anything when we go out
Where are these guys?! Lol but girl, I know what you mean... a man needs to be a man!
1st date Man needs to prove himself whether it’s $500 or $1000 bill , the higher the better. This shows how much the man is willing to put in . Also women already pay for so much- the outfit, nice hair, nice skin, perfumes, pedicure/manicure, best under garments that is well over $500 . I will offer to pay a portion AFTER dating for at least 6 months. He needs to really prove himself.
The manly thing to do is pay. men are the providers,
Not in Germany
they share the bills
Everythink
God is everywhere, God states the male is the provider.
@@cindybrawner9667 you are so right. Men are trying to win us, not the other way around.
Men should pay
Women have to carry and bare children.
If a man asks me on a date and he is the one who chooses a $500 dinner restaurant, I hope he doesn't expect me to offer to pay. If it was a first date, and it was a reasonable amount of money, then I would.
Exactly! This is ridiculous. If a man choses a super expensive restaurant that's his choice. Why would I offer to pay if I can't even afford that and would never choose a place so expensive myself??
I appreciate how Dr. Antonio came back into the comments and gave updates and took the feedback. 👍
@@AntonioBorrello I was gonna say, WOW! Have I been meeting the wrong men, or what? I don't even know where there's a restaurant that costs that much, unless we order everything and have several bottles of wine.
I would be greatly appreciative if he spent that much, but I might balk at the bill and feel uncomfortable, not even knowing what to say. Shocked.
I get that was a number you just blurted out, not realizing it at first, but it certainly threw me for a loop!
@@555noelle1 Agreed. Antonio Borrello seems to have that nice blend of old school and modern values. A modern day gentleman, with good manners. #ChivalryIsNotEntirelyDead
Seriously? These so called experts think more of a lady that offers to pay or contribute when “they” initiated the date , they picked the restaurant? What a load! Not one of you three are a real man. That bs about it shows she sees us as equal 🙄
If she asks you out for a second date then you would see her as needy or clingy when then she might show you by paying then she sees you have actual value in HER world!
Most times men take it for granted.....and start asking you for money not once but twice again and again....
RUN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
A man has to feel he's your knight in shining armor. I you go around and pay for the date, he has nothing to contribute and you actually immaculate him. I don't agree with Mark who said, just be you. I think someone needs to tell this sweet, generous woman to hold back and tell her why.
I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with you! 👍
I love how happy Dr. Antonio looks! His smile and energy are so infectious!
Isn't it just?!?
I think the "willing to pay the bill" test is intetesting. This because I always ask for something that I can afford with intent to pay. If he lets me pay, I pay, but he has failed my test and I won't go out with him again. With this said, I do always show up with a little something (choc bar or something small I asked before the date that he likes). I think it is a gentleman's role to pay. Us women have our own role as well. And no, it isn't going to bed with him after the dinner. There will be opportunities where the gal can pay (like making a dinner for a picnic or at home) where the man doesn't feel like he his protecting role has been taken. Yes. We must date always respecting the instinctive man and woman role. If we can't respect that we won't find anybody. It works that way for both men and women. Thank you for your advise. They are always great!
Amen!
@@AntonioBorrello you are welcome. Love how you highlight being a gentleman.
Paying for dinner is in the "good manners" of a man. I always ask "Do you need some help with the bill?". If he says yes, he'll never hear of me again..... biggest test.
I was preparing to watch an interesting video. All you talked was money. And ....women are materialistic. 😃
I lost some respect, here. Three successful (?) men justifying why the woman they asked out for dinner needs to pay. So then after buying the guy dinner, is she expected to give him sex, too? Maybe it would just be better to ask for separate checks at the start. If he says, 'no, I got this', he passes that test.
I call BS... men fall in love with women over one thing and one thing only.... looks.. it's all looks ladies, we are that simple.
and so are they
"Don't listen to what we say, look the actions"🤔
For myself, I ask you out, I pay. You ask me out, you pay.
Amen
I'm sorry....but...NO matter what..I'm not ordering what I CAN'T afford to pay for myself!! I order what I want because I can. If he were to book it, or play that "Oh, I forgot my wallet at home" game...cool..I don't know what you're going to do, but, umm, I can pay for what I ate/drank!!.....and you definitely get ghosted!!
Agreed! But if you're taking a girl to a very fancy restaurant....be prepared to pay. She wasn't expecting all that - you can't take a Micky D's girl to Nobu and expect her to pick up the tab or offer! What if a guy says sure?? Then she's embarrassed and mad cuz you made her look stupid and worthless...
@@pegacorni302 Absolutely! But there are "man childs" that do dumb shyt like that lol...and then you have some that know they can't afford the bill and STILL proceed to offer to take you out.
Men and women test each other, it’s part of how we find someone who is compatible. What is a deal breaker for one person may not be for another. Dating isn’t just about getting to know someone, it’s about eliminating the wrong ones.
Yeah he should pay. I teach my boys to pay when they get older.
Thank you for raising your boys right! Nobody cares anymore
For starters, why you're making it an overkill and taking a first date to a $500 restaurant Antonio, then praying that she would pitch in? Should we call a cab after the dinner and bring flowers so men would like us more?🤣Jezz... How about a casual coffee or drink date so you wont be depressed over a big bill?Secondly, Mark, for someone who pontificates about quality men, you actually think a quality woman would find expecting her to pay on a first date classy and fitting of a quality man? No wonder many women end up dumped. They listen to your expert advice
Narine M amen! I was disappointed at this feminized panel!
Hahaha 😂 exactly...
It seems to me like Mark's focus is not teaching women here, but being "Bros" with the guys ~~~ 🙄
I agree with you, even though he said he doesn't expect a woman to pay, there a guys out there that would accept the offer and now they (women) are stuck with a bill that they can't afford to pay. No way! Besides HE asked the woman out on the date!
REALLY!! I was SHOCKED! "Women don't expect Men to pay for the meal" The other one is OFFENDED if she doesn't offer to spilt the 500 dollar Check to the Restaurant HE chose?? Really?? A High Value Man. A Man who wants a Relationship...doesn't expect his Date to give him money for ANY reason.
Who married these blokes? If you asked the woman out on a date; why would or should she offer to pay? What’s wrong with yah? That test doesn’t make any sense. They say two heads are better than one. In this case there are three and they still can’t get it right. The Aussie need to go back to Australia and the Dr. need to go back wherever he came from. 😂
A man should always pay if he asks for a date however if he picks an expensive restaurant I think it is classy if the woman orders conservatively, never the most expensive dish which to me is shit testing. Respect and consideration is key in these interactions. Also, if a man seems to want to flaunt his wealth or status, that’s a major turn off for me. I’d rather just have a nice picnic on the beach or in nature. Far less distractions and a more peaceful environment to get to know someone.
@@miffedmicrobiologist6595 I'm totally with you all the way. I like to keep it simple, don't care too much on fancy. I'm always on the conservative side if I know that someone is paying for m, just being respectful that's all. I would go all the way out only if I pay my own meal.
Bahahaha 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Hahaha
Three stooges 🤣🤣🤣
I don't believe in paying for a date if I was the one being asked out on a 1st date.
no, please Do Not Do this againe.!!! its the worst video i saw on this chanell!!! When you invite a woman on a date it's your responsibility to take care of her. She will never truly respect you as a man and always think of you as weaker than her. So as a man you should always expect to pay for the date. After all you want her to be able to relax and enjoy her time with you. Showing that you can handle treating her, shows that you can offer protection in the modern world and in future you are able to take care of family. That is all a woman truly wants from her partner . Be confident . Remember that dating her is an investment in your future . Investments cost money. Hope this bad example of yours do not go too far
Yes, yes, yes! 🙏 This is such a shame! But tbh, this shows us the sad state of men & dating in today's society 🤦 not surprised
I suggest these 3 'gentlemen' try this little trick on the women in their lives - unannounced. Do you really think they would even do this? They will say they do, but the ladies in their lives might be surprised to have it dumped on them - as a test.
If he's inviting someone to a very fancy expensive restaurant... It's not my fault he chose a very fancy expensive restaurant. He should pay. Otherwise we're grabbing a bite at a casual restaurant. Also, if we're just finishing the date, saying good night, and I'm thanking him for a wonderful date while ending the date, then there is no reason I should message him first after. This happened to me. The guy wasn't actually interested in me, and that is why he hadn't contacted me again after. He needs to prove his interest. I think men who expect a woman to offer to pay at a very expensive restaurant of his choice should not expect her to offer to pay. Otherwise the woman will probably not go on this date. Fajitas at Chili's versus a 7 course meal at a 5 $tar re$taurant is not the $ame. His budget may not be her same budget. If he wants to impress, let him. He wants to be showy, let him. I'm taking notes on how he acts too.
No chile... send a quick text after a date to thank him and then the ball is in his court. Nothing after a week --- thank u, NEXT
@@pegacorni302 Right, I've done that too... And nothing after a quick reply exchange.
I used to offer to pay, but I've changed my mind. Being feminine, high moral standards, being appreciative of the meal is the kind of guy I want. That's how I'm raising my boys.
I meant that's the thing that a guy I would want would like....not me to pay the tab.
I like u I alone 👧😍❤🌷
Being courteous is extremely fundamental. Let someone know your intentions. I love it Antonio. Offering to pay is not actually paying because a gentleman will never allow a lady to pay for dinner.
I bet all these guys are single.
Maria Garza I swear non should be a relationship coach unless they are married or in a long term committed relationship smh
1) Interact with people around, be yourself;
2) offer to pay; but wait for the man to pay;
3) send a text or call to follow up with the date and say thank you & whether or not you want a second date;
Inte the beginning of the relastionship found out what a man desires.
Value aligment
1) Be your authentic self (be a best friend to the person your on a date with)...
Woman test men too
Most definitely Antonio everyone must test it saves everyone's time, you are most welcome 🙏🙏
People test people Gretta!
I went out on a date once where this guy stated that 'hei.. You have to pay this amount' when it was him who asked me out. I always offered to pay but if it's this kinda calculativeness, hell no for a 2nd date
In my country men would never even think that the lady has to pay if a guy asks her out for a date. Seriously, such a thought would not even cross their minds and a guy would never let the lady do this. It's considered to be very humiliating.
I always ask to share the bill. If they say yes, there will be no second date. It is my way of testing man. It is not about the money, it is about feeling and being treated like a woman. Thank you Dr. Antonio. I would definitely like to date a man like you! Classy! Thank you for the video!
very interesting approach, but if you ask to pay is not so relevant also.Sometimes men might agree from stupidity of the moment.Maybe he planned to pay for the bill and, when you ask to pay, he will think he offends you as independent woman.You might also lose a good guy.
@@pegasus1497 I am an independent woman and I will not pay if I go out with a guy, first date or the last,only if we are just friends