See? I knew I'd mess up the American utensil etiquette. Apparently it's similar to the European way when cutting, but then similar to what I showed thereafter to eat - only switching to your right hand. What a roller-coaster!
Lost in the Pond also I have heard the origin of the hand switching is to slow down the length of time it takes to eat instead of shoveling food straight into your face.
No. No,no , no,, the classic American use of utensils,,, Is to firmly grasp the over stacked, over condementized burger,, not too firmly or it will all squirt out the edges, with two hands and all your fingers on deck,,, and try not to dollop it down the shirt front as you tuck into the other side. French fries,, which the French call American fries, are finger food as well. And then noisily lick and suck your fingers clean all the way to the third knuckle afterward. Now you've got it.
well, American way is much neater when we're eating all that sauce covered food. Diane Jennings did a video when she visited America and food kept falling off her fork
What I and apparently many others witnessed on Diane Jennings channel (former Irish TRY Channel participant) when she came to America to a Denny's restaurant and tried eating hashbrowns with her fork upside down (tines facing downward) she got a lot of American commenters talking about how cringe worthy that method was. Myself self included. We all were like, "WHAT ARE you doing?" These critiques stuck with her so much that she references back to that incident quite often in current videos. That said, I don't know why any sensible human being would try to eat loose food by scooting it on the bottom of the fork (convex side) with their knife. It just doesn't make physical sense. I mean you wouldn't use a post hole shovel that way.
When my son was eight, he was asked to say grace at a special dinner. He bowed his head and started talking. A lady at the table interrupted him saying, "Stop mumbling. I can't understand you!" He looked up at her and replied, "That's okay. I'm not talking to you." Then he continued with no further interruptions.
Perhaps Americans could have quieter dinner conversations if the restaurant turned down the damn background music so that we can hear each other at standard indoor conversation volume.
I have never encountered what you are talking about. Are you sure that it wasn't just the region you visited? I live on the east coast and have been up and down it. Never has there been loud music, if there even is music.
@@Good_Hot_Chocolate It's a syndrome out west, that three quarters of every restaurant - pub or not - has background music up about a quarter too loud. I attempt to speak with an indoor voice only to be met with "what?" after everything I try to say.
Instead of a European experience with saying grace, how about a South African's experience? My husband, like you, came to the US for the first time around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was, therefore, the first big family meal he shared with us. We had a tradition where my Grandmother would start the prayer, then we would go around the table adding something for which we were personally grateful. Now my husband is a native Afrikaans speaker and learned English as a child from cartoons. So he wasn't too up on the lingo, so to speak. As a result, he said he was grateful for the hospitality he received on this the day when Americans celebrated eating the Indians. Yep, that's right. He forgot the "with." My mother, an amateur historian, without missing a beat, said "oh, no, honey. That's the Donner party, not the Pilgrims." So my husband believed, at least for the first few years he lived here, that we had an annual holiday to celebrate cannibalism. And he still agreed to become a US citizen.
@Tango Jones He'd been raised in a fiercely evangelical area of SA. That, combined with the high crime rate of SA means all my SA relatives can't understand why I unlock my doors to potential robbers once a year to hand out candy in some vaguely satanic ritual. But, I just tell them "it's Irish" and they nod sagely, having obtained the notion that the Scots and the Irish are all professional drunks from international rugby matches.
One of my Korean teachers did an exchange year at university in the US. He lived with a host family. The mom of this family was like my own mom and a lot of others back then At the family dinner mom peppers you with questions about your day. My teacher said he struggled with this. He didn't want to talk with a mouth full of food but he didn't want to stop eating in case his hostess would think he didn't like the food. Also, his food was getting cold and he grew up with chopsticks and so was learning how to deal with cutlery etiquette. Koreans have a lot of respect for elders, plus they had taken him into their home. He told me he finally he got up the courage to ask one of the sons in the family for help and I guess the kid spoke with the mom, because mom waited until dessert for the questions after that. She wasn't trying to be mean she was just excited and curious to have him there.
I feel like exchange students should have some kind of "crash course" before they get dropped into a culture they know nothing about. My mom's family had a South African exchange student when she was a teenager. Thank God my grandmother wanted him to experience America and, since she was a teacher, she was supportive and explained so much to him. My mom is in her 60s and she still keeps up with him and his family.
@@feraltaco4783 Yeah I think so. It works both ways too. My brother was wrapped around the axle about the exchange student from Argentina at our high school kind of chasing him. I had to point out he was captain of the soccer team. We were a small town, all around us it was American football. PS trying to get back here to answer you I clicked your channel. I loved your pet pictures and you have good taste.
Having worked as a server and bartender in my younger years, I’ve got to tell you ... we don’t LOVE checking every 5 minutes. We realize that it’s disruptive. However, especially in large restaurant chains, our supervisors force us to do this. A server can be disciplined if she/ he doesn’t not do the 2-minute/2-bite check in. Secret shoppers and corporate inspectors are specifically asked to look for this. Every customer hates it. Every server hates it. It’s the upper management who missed that memo.
@@jacobvardy Big corporations have strict expectations, for sure. But I wouldn’t say they run our lives ... they just enforce uniformity in the workplace. You’ll get much more personalized service at family owned establishments.
Ah, I wasn’t aware of that! My only visit to the States was a few years ago, a holiday to Florida with some friends. We knew about the tipping etiquette and followed that accordingly; and we were generally very impressed by the waiting staff and their friendliness. But a couple of times it felt too overbearing. I remember on those occasions we had to stop the servers and point out that we were in the middle of a conversation or say to them "we'll let you know if we need anything". One waiter in particular looked a bit 'stuck' at that. None of us had any idea that the constant checking up/chatting was compulsory though (or could result in disciplinary action if not followed); to us, their behaviour came across as too desperate, a bit rude, even. We weren’t trying to be mean or rude ourselves (never-mind land someone in trouble!), and in hindsight, I feel quite bad now. I just hope in our instances it wasn’t picked up by the supervisors!
They do this in the UK as well so I don't understand why folk are saying we don't. It's called a "check back" so the server will come back 5 minutes into your meal and check your enjoying your food or need more drinks. But they don't do it constantly 👍 I just politely say you don't need to check back just watch for an empty glass 😁
What are the servers expecting to help by returning after only 2 bites? I require at least 15 bites before I know if the meal tastes good. What would happened if I told the server to go away or he wont get a tip?
9:33 There's nothing I love more than hearing British people's imitation of American accents, they always end up sounding like either a caricature of a New Yorker or a cowboy who's recently suffered a stroke.
Cassitastrophe...wow! At work, we once had a visitor from NY, who told me I almost have a Southern drawl...now even though I came here when I was 16 (EEurope but not Russia) I haven't lost my English accent! It just goes to show how people interpret your accent!
Cheryl Bailey , I have tried to have romantic dinners at expensive restaurants with my husband, and still have a better than average chance of having a family with small children seated nearby, and Not the quiet, polite kind of children- the ones who get up from the table and run around, or squeal loudly, or bang their utensils on the table, etc. There are a lot of people these days (years) who feel that they are “entitled” to bring their kids anywhere.
@@JeanieD there are a lot and I mean a lot of expensive restaurants that don't allow children in. You gotta call ahead and ask. One expensive restaurant that my parents would sometimes go with my brother and I when we were little had a separate area with a door for people with children. I have no idea how my dad pulled this off, but we always ate in the main dining area. My brother and I were extremely good kids though.
@@JeanieD no this has been all over the US. Where I live there isn't a single expensive restaurant. We had to 2.5 hours to go to our expensive restaurant. We only did it when we were in town visiting friends and family.
I’m American, and I’ve always cut meat the “correct” way you showed, but I also use a fork every other way you illustrated, too. It depends on the food. Very versatile weapon, uh tool, the fork.
Same, here. I find it tends to depend on how much I'm relying on gravity to secure the food. Something like mashed potatoes, rice, pies, or peas would be scooped. But a firmly skewered piece of meat, slice of potato, or stalk of asparagus will usually see the tines remain downward.
Same, but I must admit I tend to use the European way even though I'm American. The only time I really switch to the American grip is to scoop things, like rice or mashed potatoes. Even when I use the fork alone, like when eating cake, I almost always hold it the European way.
Yes! It’s so natural to change to the right hand, I don’t even notice that we do this! Also, keeping your hand in your lap over your napkin, and no elbows on the table, completely freak out those who use continental manners!
I'm predominantly right handed, but when I go to cut my food up, I cut with the knife in my left hand. I just keep the fork in my right hand in both cutting and eating. I still eat with the tines facing up though.
I caught myself eating yogurt with a serving spoon the other day. I realized that I'm so tired of WASHING THINGS that I just grabbed whatever clean spoon was close to hand.
On those rare occasions when I’m asked to say grace, i say this: “ Some people have an appetite, but no food. Some people have food, but no appetite. We have both, and for that, we give thanks.”
It’s better than, 🎥 Catch Me If You Can: “Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned, but the second mouse, he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and he walked out. Amen”
My husband spent some time in The Netherlands and adopted the continental style of using utensils. I use mine the American way. Our kids picked up a mixture of both as a result, though they mostly use the continental method. It's much more efficient. One of my daughters-in-law commented on it once, and told us how confused she was when she first started coming to family dinners. ETA: I don't care how others hold their cutlery, just chew with your mouth closed.
I can't remember any of my Catholic family saying grace, though I did learn the standard Catholic one at Sunday school ("Bless us oh Lord....") When I was in Scouts, we were expected to say Grace, so people just tended to go with the "God is great. God is good. And we thank him for this food. By his hand, we are fed. We thank you Lord for our daily bread." Or if people felt a bit less reverent: "Good food, good meat. Good God, let's eat."
My grandfather had two. One was " father, son, holy ghost, whoever eats fastest gets the most" and the other was " Bless the meat and damn the skin, open your mouth and shove it in"
The diffrence in eating brought me a chuckle. My youngest had to move back to the USA from Germany because I went to Iraq. My mother took him and my little brother to pizza hut and he requested a knife and fork. A elderly couple was at the next table and asked My son where he moved from and he told them. The gentleman was a veteran and told him never let anyone tease him about his table manners.
@@glenn6583 He didn't really mean table manner per se. If you read the context of the post, he meant more like eating "preferences" or something. I fully understood what he meant.
Well, I'm an American and I start off eating my Pizza with a knife and fork until I get quite close to the end crust area. When I was in Australia and went to Pizza Hut I requested a knife and fork. The girl behind the counter said but you ordered pizza and I replied yes I did
My stepdad used to say "If you don't bless the food before you eat it, it goes to hell." I once finally replied "I don't care where it winds up as long as it goes through my digestive system first."
in london last year i was having lunch at a pub, i got on very well with the bartender and asked about tipping. His response was perfect. It’s not expected, but we don’t mind it.
When we were in Spain, I loved how servers would not hover over you at restaurants or cafes. They just leave you alone to enjoy the meal. It was so refreshing to not feel rushed. We ate our meal, drank our wine, took our time and when we were ready, we gestured for the check. I miss that here.
Idk how it is in other parts of the US but where I live, no one expects a tip. Will we look at you a little funny if you leave no tip on a $70+ bill? Sure. But its not like we're gonna chase you down after you pay and tell you off lmao
I'm an American, we went to church every Sunday, but only said Grace on holiday meals. My husband's family day Grace before every meal, all the time.😊. So even American families differ from each other.😊
I've only seen super religious households do grace. Most houses I've been to for meals don't bother with grace. So it definitely differs between families and households
Having traveled a bit when I was in the US military, I've realized that tipping in the US is essentially subsidizing the restaurant owner by paying their servers for them.
Exactly. it is infuriating to have to pay the wages of their staff. Especially when it is a large corporate conglomerate. I always tip very well regardless of anything but I do think it is terrible that servers get paid $3.50/hour and the restaurant expects the diners to make up for it. Especially here where I live because most of the business comes from tourists who may not know the tipping culture or may not care (especially rich Americans who are the cheapest people I have ever met). I am sure many people get stiffed. We were out to dinner the other night and the tip alone was $85 for four regularly priced meals and some wine.
Is really not true - as having worked in the restaurant business you can make really good money ie much higher than the minimum wage and do quite well .
My USN husband was serving overseas and went to a German restaurant that had a reputation for exceptionally good food. His waitress was very nice so he left a great tip. She actually chased him down to give most of it back.
I was working at McDonald's and I had a British person and try to tip me it was very funny conversation we had I basically explained that if the waiter comes to your table then it's generally accepted to tip if you have to order at a counter with exception of bars you don't
I never understood the bar bit either. I understand tipping for a well made cocktail or something, but if the extent of service is handing me a bottle from a refrigerator 2 feet away...
I learned a variation of this (I’m American). If you have to take care of your own trash after your meal, then don’t tip (you did the work). But if someone else takes your dishes and stuff away, then do tip (because they’re taking care of you).
I’m a waitress in the restaurant of an Irish 4 star hotel, during our peak tour season (roughly April-October) we get a lot of tour buses full of Americans, from my experience they are usually the kindest but definitely the loudest groups that we serve! It’s quite comical the increase in decibel level in the restaurant once the Americans arrive! Wishing I was chatting to and serving 60 Americans some hearty Irish stew instead of being quarantined at home right now😢
You are so sweet. My husband and I were in Ireland in 2018 and we absolutely adored every moment. He and I are both relatively quiet people and we get a little annoyed by the decibel that sometimes occurs in a restaurant as well. But thank you for saying such sweet things about our countrymen ❤
Right before this all started some friends and I found a nice little Irish pub (in the US) and I just told my friend today I hope they are able to weather this shutdown and will be open when its all over.
Little Bird Life just bow your head and be reverential. It does not mean you embrace their religion but is respectful and I would do the same for any religion
@@Platypi007 Just remember the standard prayer: "for what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful....Amen." I am a Christian, but even I find it hard to see a point to asking non Christians to momentarily behave as though they are.
You haven't lived until you sit through a 5 minute grace, THEN everyone around the table has to say out loud a special intention or acknowledge a prayer answered, or a request. This was done at a restaurant with 25 people in the party. Took us 30 minutes to finish, and our food was cold by them. Americans only want to talk about money/job, children and religion. Heaven help you if you're don't believe in "God"/Jesus.
@@PotterSpurn1 I use the standard Jewish prayer over food, and it will be another 8 years before my Christian relatives ask me to say grace. If they really aggravating me I say it in Hebrew.
Growing up in Northern Illinois in the United States, we prayed during dinner, which we called supper. Back then, we had breakfast, dinner and supper. Now, because I'm so cosmopolitan 😂I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Most people who go on quiet dates or want quiet conversation here in the States rarely go to family restaurants. Here, the more expensive or high end usually means the less noisey.
Edward James You must not live in the NY area Edward....I would love to find a restaurant around here that had table cloths, good food, and a quiet atmosphere where you could enjoy a romantic evening. ☺️💕
@@dianawest3976 I am NOT in a huge city like NY and I still would love to find a quiet restaurant in which to dine and have a quiet conversations that are reasonably priced. I don't understand where those restaurants went. As a child I couldn't wait to be an adult and go to the nice restaurants (in rural towns) with large curved booths to sit in, low lighting, mellow music, a dance floor for romantic dancing, and where you could hold calm conversations over a bottle of wine. My parents used to go to them 2-3 nights a week (so they weren't killer prices). NOW THEY ARE GONE....."who moved my cheese?!?!" How do we get them back?!?
The classification of these restaurants is already strange. We just divide in with service, or without service. Of course nobody has a date at McDonalds.
@Holger P. As a broke teenager, I can definitively say you are wrong, also I went out with my girlfriend and her father to the shooting range as a date so... Needless to say she is better shot than I am. But yes people go to McDonald's on dates if they are poor.
Server based in Cardiff, Wales here! Typically when it comes to serving tables, there's a reason that we keep away, we don't want to annoy people or get in their way. To people over here, it's seen as really rude and interruptive if they're checked on usually more than once, if they want your attention they'll make it known. That's not to say we don't check in on them regularly, we just do so silently just by glancing at their tables, drinks and faces to see if it's all looking good mood wise. One time my supervisor checked on my table for me and forgot to tell me, so when I went to check on the table the customer exploded in my face demanding privacy, wanted to see the manager and everything. On the flip side, being in the Welsh capital we get American tourists a lot and some of them say that it seems like we're unenthusiastic to engage with them (because of this etiquette), most of the time when I explain the cultural difference and that we just want to let them have their time how they want it without being interrupted they're fine with it, as a matter of fact only one table didn't understand and was still angry (but they also complained at the start that Welsh was on the first page and English was on the second so I really didn't care what they thought from the get go, don't go for the language in Wales it's an easy way to not be liked lmao)
I'm in Ireland and I get the impression that Americans want to keep you at their table and are oblivious to the other table under your watch. I hope you reminded the customers that complained about Welsh been in the menu what country they were in that's just ignorance.
My husband told me that when he went overseas, he looked for the restaurants where the locals ate, because the food was good and the service was fine. I’m not able to travel but if I was, I sure would be polite to whoever lived in that country. I travel now by viewing different countries on line.
I’m American and I hate the constant checking in. There’s been times they’d come over every 5 minutes. Another time it was so often I actually told her to stay away because she was so disruptive. I told her- watch our glasses, if they’re not empty, don’t stop by. It’s so aggravating because you can’t even have a conversation.
When I lived in the States I soon found out that if you want an undisturbed meal tell the server "we have everything we need and I'll give you a nod when we want the bill thank you".
If you have everything you need, and don't intend on ordering more drinks or dessert, then just ask for the bill when they come back to check on your meal. Then, whenever you're ready to pay, put your credit card or cash on/in it in a way that is clearly visible to the server and place it at the edge of your table and they will see it when next they pass your way. If you've decided in the meantime that you'd like that slice of cake after all, just ask them to add it to your bill before they run your card. Your way requires them to keep eyeing you for an hour, hoping to look at you at just the right moment to catch the nod. It's not a terrible method by any means, just less practical, and does require quite a bit more lurking on your server's part.
At my table, we held hands and said grace for every meal. When the kids brought their friends over, we still did it. I was surprised that their friends enjoyed it, too. It was never mandatory, but rather grateful and joyful for being together with God and the food we had.
I don't mind saying Grace, but what I do detest is when it is used to lay out all sorts of prayers and petitions. Grace is to thank God for the food, not to ask Him to heal your kidney stones or help in a job search. Everyone is hungry, let them eat and save those prayers for a more appropriate time. I know this sounds rude, but I think it is even more rude to use mealtime prayers in that way.
What about the horror when you are at some family's dinner and they all HOLD HANDS THE WHOLE TIME and each person is forced to say something, particularly at Thanksgiving, and you have to come up with the particular acceptable bullshit?!!!
@@emjayay My introverted, personal-space-loving self is twisting in horror at the very idea! I barely tolerate having to hold hands with family for the Thanksgiving and Christmas grace, and that's only 20 seconds tops.
[pǝʇɔɐpǝɹ] : I thought that maybe he was at that bar waiting for his partner (your server) to get off work. That much of a tip is unreal, so large that he could brag and laugh about it later.
Grace is one of the best traditions to an American meal. 30 seconds of unsupervised silence for kids to freak out, every dog in the house to bark relentlessly, parents to try corral the kids/dogs without opening their eyes, and those of us with our eyes open trying not to break out in laughter at the dog and pony show.
Ah, fond memories of the trauma of dinners with my American Step-mom and British-To-The-Bone Grandmother. No matter which way I did it I had to hear all about it afterward. And everyone wonders why I got such a passion for Asian foods. Chopsticks. So simple.
@@Neo-hw7nu The secret to chopsticks is to apply a light touch. They aren't a gripping tool, but a maneuvering one. You hold them like pencils, and only use as much force as necessary to pinch off a bite-sized bit of food and lift it gently from point A to B. If you try to squeeze, it will just pop out and wing itself across the table. With the right technique and a bit of practice you can get very good at it, and possibly even come to prefer them.
@@AdmiralStoicRum On that note, there's a fun video I recently came across by a channel called World friends, "Chinese, Japanese, Korean Chopsticks difference", where women from those three countries discuss the differences in their shapes and use. Dunno about Vietnam, though.
When I was 15 years old I went on a language course in England (mum didn't want me to go to Hastings and speak Swedish with other Swedes, so she sent me to a girls' boarding school for a month), and there we said grace (strange expression, isn't it?): "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful." I have thought about that practice, and that wording, from time to time ever since. Getting fed every day is not something to be taken for granted. And the work put into growing the food and preparing it is not something to be taken for granted, either. I think it is good to contemplate that and encourage oneself to be grateful for not going to bed starving, even if one does not direct one's thanks towards a deity.
At the age of 15 i stay a language vacation in South england, as an atheist i was forced to grace . This was disgusting ,emb3rasing and very disturbing to me. It strengthenmy resistance against any form of "believe".
@@kratzikatz1 You could have excluded the lord part. A party leader in Sweden who went the twelve steps to fight her alcoholism did not use the word God (Gud in Swedish) when she said the Serenity prayer, but Gudrun (her name). Yes, her name was exceedingly fitting, but she would have come up with another solution had she had another name.
My mother was a Swedish immigrant. I used my fork and knife "European style" growing up, did not really know that it was referred to as that particular style, until eating with others and hearing remarks as -"Oh, you eat European style". Why people are bothered by these things is a mystery. As long as one is not messy or obnoxious while eating, any technique should be acceptable. Love your channel.
@@stockinettestitch I've seen many comments here bashing the British, which is far more prevalent than bashing Americans. Comments like "The British way of using utensils is atrocious".
When we'd say grace when I was a kid we'd always hold hands. My grandpa would always be next to me. After "Amen" he'd say "Squeeze!!" and squeeze my hand. It was the best.
I'm from Paisley in Scotland and we said grace at every meal for the first 14 years of my life til my Gran died. Gran insisted upon it as well as impeccable table manners and etiquette. Please may I leave the table was the only way you were allowed get down from her massive dining chairs when I was a child.
My family, and all my extended family, still say "grace" before meals. I never knew it was universally frowned upon.. lol 🙏❤ If a child finishes early, they ask (as well as we did as children), "May I please be excused?" 🥰 I remember decades ago, at a large family gathering, the television had been left on with Nintendo(?) paused. The boys finished early, and asked to leave the table in order to return to their game. Dessert was served a while later. A small trick was played on them telling them they couldn't have dessert because they had already left the table. Their poor faces and body posture!! 😳😫 Of course, they were invited back and served a few helpings of dessert! Such as growing boys! 😂🥰💙
A lot of Scots emigrated to the mountains of south-eastern USA in the 19th century - I see many many echoes of 'Southern' USA culture in Scottish folks today.
If someone started speaking to me as if I were in an Austen novel, I'd probably offer to buy them a meal. I'm a sucker for well-spoken language in a lovely accent. Either that or it's because I'm currently living in Florida and desperate for culture.
I think nowadays saying "grace" in America is only for super religious families or definitely in the south. It's more of an older tradition that most American families don't really do, at least not for every meal. Yes, maybe just Thanksgiving or Christmas, as the two biggest family / meal holidays. I remember when I was little and we went to someone else's house for Thanksgiving (long-time friend of the family's, not related) there were like 20 other people there. Everyone got a plate of food, sat down, and the host gave a speech / said grace, then we all started eating. You are very correct that it's like a moment of silence to pay your respects, and then it's time to celebrate (eat and chat). Also, the chatting part was amusing to me because at any large table with more than 8+ people, most divide up conversations between just the people next to them or across from them. There could be four or five different conversations going on at the same table if it's a large party. If you're in the middle, you might go back and forth looking at one person talking, then a different person talking, and you feel awkward trying to decide whose conversation to listen to, lol
I never cared for saying Grace, but I especially hate being told to hold the germy hands of the people on either side of me at the table, while someone says some prayer that they prefer. Ick!
@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 oh gosh, I hope people don't make you do that anymore! Usually you just bow your head slightly and close your eyes, and if need be, put your hands in the praying position 🙏
My favorite British trait, which I call 'The Prompt'. You likely do it and are completely unaware of it. As you stated the British are by and large a bit more private and stand-offish than Americans. Thus you've perfected the pacifying small talk in interactions with acquaintances or a stranger you are forced to encounter that allows you to be polite but not very engaging.. However, Ive found that when a British person wants to have a more in depth and engaging conversation, they will ask you a question and give this very particular look and motion. Its hard to describe, but essentially they widen their eyes, look directly at you and move their head forward as though they are trying to hear you better, or like they are gesturing for an expected answer ( like wen interrogating a shy child and you ask a question and this same notion lets them know you demand an answer). Its very subtle body language, but says volumes. It says, " Yes, I want to have a REAL conversation with you beyond polite platitudes." I got used to seeing it in England, but recently a British co-worker here in the states, who usually just say hello and moves on came up to me and ask a question and gave 'the prompt'. I almost laughed but instead launched into a nice chat with him.
I know that look.. The less subtle, the movement and eye movement is, the more trouble you're in and likely to have your mom smack you across the face. I heard the best way to end a conversation is Britain is to slap your legs and just say in a somewhat louder voice "Well.." and whatever you wish to follow up with. "I gotta go" is my go-to as an American.
We British are NOT "private and stand offish " at all ! We are more reserved than Americans, and dont leap in with new acquaintances in answering what WE regard as very personal questions! It is common to be asked by an American you have just met " and WHAT do you do " as if they are judging whether bothering with you is worth it !
Simon Templar Agreed. I have had kids come sit at my table with me, and take food from my plate. No parents in sight. I have considered carrying pre-printed notes to pin onto unsupervised children. I love businesses that post signs saying "unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". My notes wouldn't be so kind.
@@giabarrone7422 😂😂I witnessed s brat recently beg to have a starter and a main meal after being told he wouldn't eat it all. Parents indulged him of course. Not only did he not eat his food he ran all round the restaurant and then was given a dessert. There should be an exam to pass before you're allowed to be a parent.
Agree. I think they should have a separate section for children. On one particular occasion my husband and I had our nice meal disrupted by children running around the restaurant yelling. Irritated me that I spent my money to be disturbed
@@annseabolt6645 it all depends on the restaurant. If you're eating at Applebee's or Dennys, families with children are just part of the deal. Fine dining? Nice restaurants? I agree. Generally, just don't take kids under 5 or so, and only ones who know how to act.
For context, I was raised Baptist but concerted to Catholicism in high school with my parents. I've found that my baptist family say grace much more regularly than the Catholic friends my parents invited over. Baptist grace tended to be very free form, based on whatever is going on for the people at the meal at that time, while Catholic grace is usually a specific prayer with maybe a short specific thanks given at the end. I also didn't often run into hand holding; that tends to be a special gathering thing for both but slightly more common with Catholics
Yes, I also noticed over the years that my Baptist friends and family say Grace more consistently and frequently than my Catholic friends. And yes it is more freeform. I include what is currently happening at that time as well as the moment.❤
As a Catholic: "Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." It's basically mandatory. Although we do often offer specific causes the prayer is intended to serve, generally before the prayer.
The reason the sound level of each table keeps going up when youre at a restaurant is because each table has to fight to hear itself speak amongst the nearby tables, so it forms an escalating noise. Some Americans, not all, consider eating at a restaurant to be the same thing as attending a party.
Orange Ziggy that kind of makes sense. Looking at history, i get how the us as a young country may have had the need to prove itself and that would reflect itself in the culture. Maybe that also explains why ‘bigger is better’ over there. And why advertising yourself is seen as a virtue, while in most cultures it can be considered as arrogant.
The fact that you have half of your mind on the turkey during grace indicates that you're not yet a real American. If you were, you would be 100% focused on the turkey.
Yes. The mad rush after grace is to make up for time lost to the process of saying grace! It occurred to me that despite not having used them for 20+ years (if not more), I can still recite quickly from memory the two standard formats for grace: "God is great, God is good, Let us thank him for our food, Amen." (for generic gatherings with lots of kids) and "Bless us oh Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." (for Catholic family gatherings) The more serious Christians actually improvise when saying grace. MANY of us use the formulas. :-)
@@randomcommenterfromdownund8949 "Bless us oh Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." 3 x per day x 5 years @Catholic boarding school '66 to '70 - Perth WA...Later in life, just for fun it became...2 4 6 8 Bog in don't wait!! :D
True story: When I was in kindergarten (age 5), the teacher said we were going to have a minute of silence. (I don't know what tragic event occurred). She said to just bow your head and say a little prayer. So I did as instructed, and said to myself: "Dear heavenly Father, Thank You for this food, amen"
My friend and I went to England in 2011. I didn't notice that much difference at restaurants from back home in terms of noise and service quality. And now that I think about it, I think we tipped what we normally do (20%). It never occurred to us not to tip. My friend's first job was as a waitress making $1.60 an hour, so tipping is something we've always been conscious of.
The UK has a minimum wage, by law! It is a decent living wage, and we do tip for extra good or pleasant staff, but usually around 10% but it is never expected.
We are Christian, but my husband and I never said Grace or a prayer at meals (I’ve always found it such an arbitrary time to pray). My parents came for Thanksgiving when our daughter was about 3, and asked her to ‘say Grace’. Poor kid was very confused about why Grandma and Grandpa wanted her to say her middle name out loud at the table. 😂
Tried to teach the swimming game Marco Polo to a new family member from El Salvador. I demonstrated saying "Marco" and explained the ins-and-outs of the rules about having to reply "Polo" so long as your head is above water, while if you're underwater, you can always pretend you don't hear. After we played a couple rounds, I told him it was his turn. He called out my first name, at which point I explained that it isn't "[Your Name Here] Polo" if the other person *isn't* named Marco.
Extremely not arbitrary time to pray...in fact the most poignant time to do so. What better time than to thank for sustenance and survival. Furthermore, in our modern lives, the time when we're all together.
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats The kind that has a personal relationship with my savior, talks with and thanks Him when I am in connection with Him, and the kind that doesn’t judge people on the internet for thinking differently than me. ☺️
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats Saying something does not equate feeling it. Not saying something does not equate NOT feeling it. I am in the process of teaching my 11 year old daughter to distinguish between good religion(s) and bad religion(s), genuine religious sentiment and secterist thinking. As the bad examples, I am using certain murderous psychopathic hordes (no need to name them more specifically) but also the far less numerous but equally deluded and psychopathic people in the U.S. who a couple of decades ago murdered doctors that performed abortions.
Been to the US multiple times, tipped everytime, but I do not like it. Tipping in Europe is a way how to appreciete exceptional service and not obligation, I feel that is right way.
I tip even when the food is bad; it is generally not the servers fault for the nasty food. However, if the service is practically non existence, I do not tip.
Tipping in America is more important than what other countries might think I feel. Our servers don't get paid much (depending on region) and sometimes they get accused for things that didn't happen (mostly from elders) just so the customers could get free food or something. Tipping in America is very appreciated and it helps out a lot. So when foreign people say they don't like it, at least know you're making someone's shitty day better
In the US, employers pay their service staff much less than minimum wage. It’s something like $2.00/hour. The government expects you to make up the difference with tips. Tips must be declared and are taxed accordingly. The IRS spot checks restaurants to make sure everyone is reporting tips accurately. Servers in turn tip their busboys and bar tenders. That’s why they ask so many questions. In Europe, serving food is a profession. It’s a different mental space. I have found in France that servers want you to appreciate the food. They act as liaisons between the kitchen and your mouth. It’s a gustatory experience. In the US, it’s strictly transactional. If we want you to pay us with 25% tips, we make sure that you lack for nothing and the food is somewhat secondary. Sometimes being an American is weird.
It may very well be "the right way" but it is not the way it is in the U.S.. Since a server in the U.S. is dependent on tips for his or her wages, please adhere to the protocol of the place you find yourself.
That is how it started out in America. Now people expect it without the exceptional service. Waitress go along with it because they can get away with not reporting it as taxable income. The restaurants do it because they are allowed to pay them much less than the average worker.
Utensil "etiquette" has always been funny to me. But I've actually realized in recent years how much I appreciate the general American style of only picking up the knife to make a few cuts, then going back to the fork only. It slows the meal deal, and allows it to be more of a social experience. The time I've spent in Europe (Germany, in particular), I always felt the meal was rushed with both utensils constantly in-hand and not taking a break. The one big exception to this in my European travel/living has been the French countryside, where multiple courses, multiple drink pairings (even a meal at someone's house - I'm not talking about going out to eat), where the pacing slows things down and promotes that communal element that I so love about food and drink.
My family...both sides, supper or Sunday dinner (2pm) was always an hour minimum, holidays even longer. Lots of talking and laughing as well as eating. Very relaxing and enjoyable.
I know Americans must think servers here are terribly rude but I would much prefer to be left alone and flag someone down if I need them than have to talk to them every 5 minutes. I'm not a social creature and having to constantly interact with strangers over the course of a whole meal sounds like literal hell to me.
see, to americans, because they come up so often, it would actually seem kinda rude to flag down a waiter. or it would seem as if the waiter isn't doing a good enough job. (or if you're in a rush, it's usually fine for that.) it's not a nuisance, really, it's a nice thing to have people fill up your water right when you need it. you don't need to have a full conversation with them every single time, it's just a nice thing.
I agree. I hate being bothered in restaurants. I travel to the USA quite a bit and get really annoyed at being asked if everything is ok every 5 minutes. If I have a problem, I'll ask for you. Leave me alone! What's worse though is that in non-tipping jobs the customer service is terrible there which makes it more obviously fake.
My wife and I went to a place in Eastern San Diego County that had little flags you ran up at your table if you wanted service or to be left alone. Simple yet effective.
@@faithlesshound5621 I think it might be part of the German influence on our language. Certain words can be omitted from a sentence if they're pretty well understood to be an implicit part of the statement. For instance, in German class if we wanted to go to the lavatory, we'd say "Darf Ich ins WC". This translates directly as May I to the bathroom. In English, we'd say may I go to the bathroom (Darf Ich ins WC gehen). The way I was taught was that in German you can shorten the sentence by omitting gehen because it's universally understood that you'll need to go there for the sentence to make any sense.
In American restaurants such as Outback, Longhorn, Chili’s, Applebee’s, or any “sit down a while” restaurant, there are some unspoken rules about interacting with the waiter. The waiter shows your your table and asks what you’d like to drink. When he returns with the drink, he informs you of today’s special dishes and asks if you’d like an appetizer. During this time he will leave you alone, but he will always be in the corner of the room watching and scanning all the tables to see if you’re ready to order. If you’re ready to order, put your menu down and sit back with your chin high. Thai usually gets their attention without needing to ever draw your focus to the waiter. if you’re taking longer than expected to decide what you want, the waiter will come by and ask if you’re ready or have any questions. When you’re out of water, place your glass at the end of the table carefully avoiding your guests’ “plate area”. Waiters make rounds frequently through the dining room to refill drinks. I have always known that it is normal to pause your conversation when the waiter comes by. Always say thank you. They will try to up sale you, just say no. When you’re done with your plate, silverware goes on the plate in a way where it looks like you’re not going to grab in anymore. Usually an X on the plate. After your American sized entree they’ll ask if you want dessert, you don’t need it, and if you do, it’s better and cheaper at other restaurants.
I am only a couple of months back from the US and I found the etiquette to be very different to what I was used to, in my country which exists within the UK the server will show you to your table leave you with your menu and tell you they will come back when you are ready, you then sit and choose your meal options and drinks before setting the menu down and the server will always come straight over to see if you are ready to order, you tell them your drink option and what you want as your starter and your main course. They will then take your menu and return to the kitchen to place the order for you. You will be served promptly and the server will leave you alone unless you wish to gain their attention or if your group is larger than 10 as they like to ensure that big groups are all satisfied. The server will come over when you are finished knowing that you are because you have set your cutlery together (an X will mean do not touch my plate I am not done yet) and offer you tea, coffee or any other drink of your choice and bring you the dessert menu and once again leave you until you are ready to order. When you have finished your entire meal they will come clear the table for you and you can ask for the bill and they will bring it to you, we find it to be standard that unless you are paying by card that you will round to the nearest note when paying whether that is a 5 or 10 however the change is the tip, this means that the tip could be non-existent or tiny or up to £4.99 but never more due to the cash being payed. We always say thank you and due to my upbringing no matter the meal or location I will always say Grace as my Late Sunday School teacher would come back to kill me if I didn't.
Irish?? It’s the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. There’s four countries (not two) and none of them are Irish. England, Scotland, Wales (I sense you were semi-deriding the English, so what did the Welsh do to you?) and NORTHERN Ireland. The Irish are actually a whole other country and not part of the UK at all. And would probably find it insulting to be grouped in with us UK lot.
We watch a lot of British tv shows and have noticed the differences in the way characters hold their forks in particular. Thanks for explaining this as we wondered if that person in the story just had bad manners or the tines down fork was really a thing. It looks so unusual to this American.
It looks unusual to me, Northern Irish. Like, how else would you do it. Predominant utensil in dominant hand. "You cut with your strong hand" is the justification I've heard, but even eating that person's food I don't find I need that much knife...
Our family always holds hands and says grace at family dinners. Especially Thanks giving where we each say what we are grateful for and Christmas when we thank God for Christ and His blessing on us.
My grandmother remarried to an Englishmen when my mother and her siblings where very young. They were taught the "English" way to use their utinsils. All the grandchildren where taught the same way. It wasn't uncommon to hear other families say how well mannered we all where at the dinner table. We were just doing what we were taught.
That's because the Continental way of holding utensils is much more basic and requires less hand eye coordination to master. Give a kid a fork and he will grab it. Holding it delicately balanced as we do is harder for kids to master.
@@TheRagingPlatypus I am surprised by your comment, unless you missed out a word and so I misunderstood it. The Continental way of holding utensils appears far more elegant to me, more delicate and careful and considered. It requires quite a lot of skill, and takes years to learn to do properly. For example it's entirely counter-intuitive and requires a lot more care and planning to transport loose items into your mouth via the tines of a fork than it does simply scooping them. There is also a lot less clatter, if you're not having to constantly put down your knife.
As a Roman Catholic raised in South Dakota, we always said Grace on Thanksgiving dinner , and Christmas feast (more casual), because Christmas was always less organized. Always we had lots of Kosher red wine, and (Dakota), lots of cold beer. “The beer is starting to freeze, bring the cooler in from porch into the kitchen!” Tips are ten percent minimum, twenty percent max!
I was at a meeting one time and the lady leading our group asked us to stand and hold hands to say grace before our luncheon meal. We did and then sat down to the meal. Someone commented that it was really sweet to have us hold hands. She replied that it was tradition in her family. She had several brothers and sisters and making them hold hands to say grace gave everyone an equal start at the food and no one was able to sneak a bite while all eyes were closed.
Mer Maid In her family it seems to have had a double purpose. As a parent of 5, I thought it was hysterical and a good idea! My hubby had to make a rule that no one could take a bite u til mom took her first bite, otherwise I might miss out on the food and the feeding frenzy was a sight to behold. It’s just a way of teaching manners, don’t be a pig at the trough.
No, nononono. I despise holding hands to say grace. My hands are clean when I sit down to eat. I don’t want to hold someone else’s hand who might not have washed theirs well, if at all, before eating. I also hate people who know you coming up to your table while eating out and wanting to converse and possibly shake hands. I’m eating, don’t breathe on my food, and again, I don’t want to touch your possibly disgusting hands.
Born in MASS Tea Party : my husband usually has his mouth full when they ask, so he just nods now. Much worse are those parents who let their unmannered children raise havoc (running around screaming, grabbing food off other people’s plates, and/or having a tantrum). Our (now grown) children knew that they better behave and so do their own children.
Oh man, I had the opposite prayer cross-continental issue! The first meal I ate with my Kiwi/Aussie in-laws, they didn't initiate any kind of prayer at dinner. Struck me odd, as most of them are members of christian churches, but no big deal to me. I made the sign of the cross and quickly blessed my own food (I'm orthodox) and got to eating. Suddenly, they are freaked out that they've been rude to ME, and my dear mum in law assures me that we can say grace if it'd make me more comfortable. I'm then trying to assure her that I'm always going to bless my food, but have no need for other people to pray about their food if that isn't what they'd normally do. Awkward 5 minutes!
LOL I'm an Irish-Catholic Australian, and we grew up in the 80s saying grace, usually only the Sunday dinner (roast, always a roast), Christmas and Good Friday, but that devolved into "2, 4, 6, 8, bog in don't wait" by the 90s, and then we just stopped. Haven't said grace in well over 20 years. Actually, that's a bit of a fib, went to a work Christmas party in 2017 and the General Manager was a devout Christian from South Africa, he got up and said grace at the start of the meal and it was deathly awkward, because no one in Australia ever said grace publicly outside of a church function, even when I was a kid, it was just not something that was done.
Good for you. As an nonreligious American I am still quite happy to see people observing their traditions but happier still to see them satisfied with performing them without imposing them on others. Your mother-in-law sounds like a sweetheart and a very gracious hostess.
As a Catholic kid, I once said "Rub a dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah God." Unfortunately, my cousin (Sister Mary Michelle) was at the table. She called me a heathen and insisted I go to confession on the next Saturday and repent.
I’m an American, from the Midwest (MN) - my family isn’t religious & growing up, we never said “grace”. My first time experiencing it was with my ex’s extended family in Pennsylvania & they all held hands. He didn’t tell me about it prior to dinner, so it was quite awkward & surprising for me. He was equally as surprised when I asked him about it afterwards & told him I’d never seen/done that before 🤷🏼♀️
Growing up in the fifties and early sixties, the US 'proper' etiquette for using the fork and knife was to cut with the knife in the right hand, fork in the left, then, once a piece was cut, lay down your knife, transfer the fork to the right hand, and then fork the morsel to your mouth. For each bite! My mom even had a book that explained it all, written by someone Calle Emily Post. When I was eight we moved (due to dad's job,) to what was then a Brit colony on the West side of the Pacific. So we quickly learned of the more efficient and less clattery way the Brits ate. (less clatter because you weren't putting your knife down with each bite.) I liked it much better. I also noticed that Australians used the knife to mash their peas on the back of the fork before putting the fork in the mouth. As a boy I thought that was very efficient. Personally I found that that chopsticks were cleaner, less messy and more elegant. As long as the food was already cut up into bite sizes. My family always had huge honking slabs of meat, even in stew I had to cut the damn spuds and beef up to fit into my mouth. So no chopsticks there. . To the day she died my mom complained that no-one used proper eating etiquette any more. She referred to the way I preferred to hold my fork as a child as 'using it like a steam shovel'. "Don't hold your fork like a steam shovel."
@@minutemansam1214 who defines proper...it is a societal choice. What makes it proper?e. Semantic question. It's like the old addage...I can't define pornograpny but I know it when I see it.
@@TheRagingPlatypus if you eat by putting down your knife and swapping your fork between hands, you'd be thought of as a pig where I'm from (UK). A cack-handed, loud and clumsy way of eating.
Malarkey. First, mashing the peas ruins the experience of the pop in your mouth. Second, no one with manners chatters. You don't toss it down. Third, ever watch Chinese people eat with chopsticks...the epitome of not elegant.
I can't even tell you how many times the waitress has asked how everything tastes when I'm clearly still chewing my first bite. XD I mean I love the enthusiasm but let me chew!
The other fun one is when they come by and see three fourths of your plate is uneaten then ask, "Are you done? Can I take that for you?" If I *am* done after eating only 1/4 of my meal, that would say something pretty crappy about your food, wouldn't it?
You do know that literally everything in an American restaurant is reliant on you not ordering the third drink or desert, right? Seriously prohibition plagues the US to this day.
@@tejaswoman Like I said the restaurant industry is still stuck in the prohibition era because they don't have to pay their employees and make a few dollars extra.
I bet the "how's everything?" when you've just taken a bite is not an accident. They can be seen as attentive, but you are almost guaranteed to just give a thumbs up and not ask for anything, and they can move on quickly.
I'm American & remember a time when restaurants weren't so noisy... I find it very annoying myself. Higher end restaurants seem to be quieter for the most part, but honestly I almost never go out to eat anymore...
It has a lot to do with the style and construction of a restaurant, really. Consider a fast food restaurant or diner. Typically one large open space and everything is hard surfaces. So when people talk noise tends to bounce around. Add in a lot of people there at the time, each trying to be heard, and slowly ratcheting up the volume so their table mates can understand them over the babble and it gets pretty loud. Also it's culturally expected so people tend not to bat much of an eye. In slower dining restaurants there is going to be a lot more noise-deadening fabric. Carpets on the floor, tablecloths, curtains and plants all around. It's fairly common such places to include other noise-dampening ideas too, like tall dividers between sections or deliberate noise-cancelling designs and materials. With less echoing and a culture that has people more keep their voices down they are a lot quieter.
I'm from the Netherlands, and from a Calvinist/protestant minority (approx 4-5% of pop) but we're used to pray for the blessing of the food before the meal (not holding hands or slaying a cross btw but with folded hands / intertwined fingers) and after the meal we read a chapter of the bible and ending the meal with a prayer in with we thank for the food and ask for a blessing for the rest of the day.
A few years ago I learned that holding utensils as in England, fork in left-tines down and knife in right, eating is much easier. I don't have to keep switching utensils in order to get the cutting done.
It's very common to cut up two or three bites worth, then switching and putting the knife down to eat. It seems a bit more relaxed to me, not always grasping both utensils as you eat, not needing to do work for each bite, and adds some pacing, kind of like breaks in between eating sessions. The 'cutting time' is also the time where you may ask a question, then start eating while listening to the answer.
@@pastacat5518 It's actually easier for me to eat as I use the fork and knife the way I do. I can keep my focus on my dinner companion just as well by not having to switch hands. To each his own.
@Jkinsg92 You're the one acting like a stuck-up man-child, I hate to tell you. "Waaah, I care so much about what everyone else does! I have a stick up my arse!" People can eat whatever way they want. They can eat a steak with a spoon if they want, and then use said spoon to gather up all of your salty tears while you cry in the corner.
The dinner table was for eating socializing and entertainment . It was expected to that you contribute to the conversation and provide amusing anecdotes To sit quietly and just listen is considered rude.
As an American, I hate, hate, hate it when people hold their cutlery with fisted hands. I feel like I'm eating with a caveman or with someone raised in a barn 😫 Edit: Guys, I don't openly tell people their way of holding cutlery bothers me. I would never do that to a guest or person I was eating out with. That's rude and none of my business. I just have a very human, moment's gut reaction of surprise when I first notice how they're holding their stuff, because I'm not used to it. But, my reaction doesn't go beyond that. I'm never attempting to make the other person feel bad with my subjective pov of how this type of table manner/etiquette should look like. My original comment was just a bit of late night hyperbole. That is all.
@@ig7002 Because table manners still matter. I'm not preoccupying myself with thoughts of this pet peeve on the daily. It's just bewildering to see, because a significant enough number of people seem to do that here, but I also never saw that--except in children--until very recently. It just takes me aback, like if I were witnessing a strange phenomenon. We all have those things that cause that kind of emotion in us. Cutlery, apparently, is mine.
@writerspen010 You’re not alone. I also cannot stand it! Whenever I see someone eating like that I can’t help but think to myself, “didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!” 🤦🏼♀️
You are cracking me up! This is great! 1. My mom wished we were British growing up in the early 80s - 90s. I was literally taught how to use cutlery the European way. So much so, that it was hard for me to learn the American way. But, let's be honest, American forks and knives are far less efficient. And my mom taught us to do it with "elegance". 2. I've seen praying in a number of ways. Mine was fairly subdued. German paternal background, mom wanting us to be British. 3. The restaurants are wild! I understand that there will be a variety of people and interactions at a restaurant. It's a trip sometimes! It's sometimes comparable to attempting to control the volume of students in a school cafeteria. Yikes, cafeteria duty is exhausting! 3. I've been a server. The biggest bummer was getting business men at lunch, the "Suits" or Europeans. Lol! Not sure about the suits, but we always knew people from other countries have a different culture around tipping. We never served them differently. We understood the cultural difference. The hourly rate for servers is still approximately $2.33/hr in my home city and state, in 2023. Same as it was in 1993. Wow! That is why I teach my students to completely understand percentage. Lol! Seriously though, my 25 year old daughter makes BANK as a server and bartender. She will have a hard time when she has to take jobs entry level in mental health because she's studying to become a licensed therapist at the University. Thus far she's paid for all of her classes and lives on her own. 4. I think your content is great. Furthermore I really appreciate that you state disclaimers of sorts before you share information. It is a very responsible way to share what you've experienced, despite being married into a US family. Sound data from a diverse and large sample with a specific hypothesis and experimental design is the "best" way we can examine differences or test a question. So, I legitimately appreciate your comments and appreciation of regional, personal, etc., differences. You don't broad stroke purposely in the least, yet you hit the nail on the head often. Well done!
Sweet Canada and Andrew-- Unless your mashed potato is disgusting, made from a supermarket packet and nearly liquid, same way. Mashed potato hangs together perferctly well to use a fork held in "knife and fork" position. Peas and lentils you squash a bit against the fork with the knife. If you have scored both peas AND mash, it is OK to glue the peas to the fork with the mash, again with the knife. For a fork-only meal, the fork is held upside-down, as in the US, but higher levels of etiquette say don't swap hands. (Same with spoons and forks-don't swap hands if it is spoon-only). I suspect that because the upper class set the rules of etiquette, they set them to suit meat-eaters. Soft foods were for poor people without money or teeth. You eat your meat bit by bit, using knife and fork as you go, you don't chop it up in advance. And if your cook has made mashed potato, it will be of upper-class consistency, not peasant gruel. Of course, if you've chopped all your food up first then abandoned your knife so you can swap hands and eat like a toddler, that doesn't work. In THAT case - - "I eat my peas with honey, / I've done it all my life, / it makes the peas taste funny, / but it keeps them on my knife" 🙄😇 Come to think of it, Americans might not understand that, since they seem to put syrup or honey on everything, even "pancakes and bacon", and put the knife away, so would never have received a parental admonition not to lick their knife or use their fork like a shovel. (What a loss to humanity and culture!!! 😍)
biggest difference: in an American restaurant, they serve each diner a portion large enough to feed a small country, then ask if you want a takeaway box. in a UK restaurant, they serve you almost but not quite enough for you to feel stuffed, and when they say "fancy some dessert?" it's always, "why, yes, that would be lovely."
Man I would love that. In America I always feel like I'm wasting food/money for not eating the mountain of food on my plate right away. Even if I try to find the smallest possible thing on the menu, it ends up being bigger than my head
I think it’s wasteful to serve more than a normal portion. All that food that goes back to the kitchen? Or taken home in a doggy bag to just be tossed out three days later. Not very environmentally conscious, if you ask me. Just serve a portion normal people can finish and tell them they can order free extra fries or rice or something. (My mother always told me to clean my plate and i still feel guilty when i can’t) That way the guests might stay for desserts and coffee, and that’s a win-win, because more courses=more money.
I agree with you about the servers in the US... they are usually omnipresent or scarce... it’s quite rare to get one in between... I long for the days when the servers actually watched the tables and responded promptly to anyone needing something...
One time we were deserted by our waitress and my husband and son wanted coffee refills. My son could see the coffee station nearby and just got up and grabbed the pot himself. Needless to say there was a very small tip. One time we had a waitress take our order and then go on a break. We had to get the manager to get our food. My husband left one penny to show how the service was.
I didn't realize that is video is older so you may have already figured this out, but during the dinner prayer it's totally acceptable to look around the table to see who else doesn't have their eyes closed. It's kind of a family bonding moment/tradition.
I just found this older video too, and it's so funny. I thought it was only people in my family who did the looking around thing! FWIW, my family never said grace growing up, and very few of our friends' families did either. Only "very religious" people seem to say grace on the West Coast, or at least that was the case during my growing-up years. At some point, this norm seems to have shifted a bit, as public displays of religiosity became a form of virtue signalling (okay, this is my cynical, and admittedly agnostic take on it, YMMV). My brother started doing grace at holiday meals some years back, after he had kids and after our dad (and my brother's wife's dad) had both passed away unexpectedly. One time he really got over the top with it, and went on about how the two "grandfathers" were up in heaven looking down on us. My SIL's mom leaned over and whispered to me, "He'd better hope they're not, or they'd be yelling at him over this crap!"
My wife and I grew up in different regions of the US, even different religions, and our families "said grace" before meals (although we just called it praying). All my extended family still does. 🙏
My brother always had his fork in a piece of food during prayer. We had a lazy susan and he would position it for a quick stab immediately at the end of the prayer.
I actually switch the fork to the left and use my knife in the right when doing heavy duty cutting. Then switch the fork to the right to transfer food to the gob. 🤣 I wonder if the volume of voices in American restaurants is due to the volume of the music. I always feel that I must raise my voice to be heard above it.
Yes and most of the time what songs are being played can't even quite be heard anyway. It's like listening to Charlie Brown's teachers sing in the background while you're trying to have a conversation. Personally I'd rather do without the music if it's just going to get into the way of friends having quiet conversations over dinner.
It was waiters and waitresses here in Australia when I worked in the industry, but the act is serving and that's a genderless time saver, so I completely get why the current term might be servers. As long as it doesn't become servants! 😁 Terminology changes are a natural thing in language. When I was young the people serving on aeroplanes were airhosts and hostesses, or air-stewards and air-stewardesses, it's so much quicker and easier to say flight attendant, but I often forget and call them Hosty's because I'm both Aussie and getting old! 😂
If a wait staff keeps bothering me, they get a less tip. I'm here to eat the food, but my conversations and me eating my food, is my time. If I want something, I'll raise my hand.
Two comments: Tipping and British accents. I worked as a guide in Alaska. Tipping is expected. But if you hear that British sound emanating from a pale Anglo mouth, you just do your job without hope. Once though three English women were on a tour in the wilderness to see bears, I actually found a few for them. (It doesn't always happen.) They had such a marvelous time. At the end as I was walking them to their ferry to get back to their cruise ship one woman said to me "We've heard we should tip. So the three of us pitched in and this is for you." She gave me a small wade of cash. Needless to say I was shocked. It would have been impolite to look to see how much in front of them, but suddenly I felt that all was right with the world. They hopped on the small boat and departed, confident that they had been the best of guests. I then braved a peek at the wad of sweet green cash. Three single dollar bills. (To be fair once and only once I did receive a twenty dollar bill from a Brit. It was such a scene of weeping and cultural reconciliation that the recent unfortunate events of 1776 were completely forgiven.) Secondly: The fork is King.
That service charge is 1) absolutely NOT “most places” and 2) ALWAYS voluntary and near-universally declined. It’s sad you thought all was right with the world when they tipped. All is right when you get paid properly and don’t rely on literal begging.
I was raised as Roman Catholic in New England. Although we didn't pray over every meal, some did, but we did pray at special meals, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I haven't said Grace in a very long time. The one we would say was "Bless us, oh Lord, for these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive, through Thy Bounty, in Christ the Lord. Amen." I don't know if everyone says that, but that was the only one we ever said. One of my friend's families went around the table at Thanksgiving and each person would fill in what's going on in their life and what they are thankful for. I think that's a quite lovely idea since you don't see some people that often.
The bit about the way British people hold their knife and fork was surprisingly eye-opening to me. We go to my aunt’s family’s house for holiday dinners (not really my aunt, she’s my mother’s best friend and we’ve known each other’s families for so long that I just refer to them as my family), and one year I noticed one of my cousins cutting into his meat this way and I noticed how much more efficient it looked than the way I’d been taught to hold utensils. Now I realize it’s because his grandfather is English (came to the U.S. when he was about ten years old, he’s since lost his accent so sometimes I forget about that), and that’s just the way they’ve learned to hold their utensils.
@@jordanhenderson3812 I generally despise most kinds of etiquette, or doing things just for the sake of being "polite". Some people think I'm rude to not partake in certain kinds of etiquette, but I've always thought it was rude for other people to care so much about what I'm doing. There are one's I understand like eating with your mouth open, since many people find that gross. But why do you choose to make it your business how I hold my utensils? I find things like that so odd.
@@jordanhenderson3812 Except that, like most customs/etiquette, the American style was born out of the European style at the time it came across the pond and went in different directions after because the popularity of the fork was not common until the late 18th century - around the time of the war. So refer to his other videos where he discusses the same thing with the 2 countries going in different directions based sometimes on nothing but pure disdain for the other at the time.
@@rylian21 But how does that impact the behaviors being discussed? A friend moved back to Kentucky after decades in SF to help his elderly parents. He said everyone there was very courteous, very helpful, and dumb as a box of rocks.
@@rylian21 Lol...you just showed how ignorant you are. Yes, there are SOME Southerners who "stoopid" at a level that defies explanation...but I have met ample ppl in many other places all over the U.S. that could just as well apply to. There will always be those "shining examples" in virtually any area.
Mexican viewer here. At least in my family we use the "European" utensil etiquette (I thought that was the only way). In Mexico we also do something called "sobre mesa" which is just sitting around after you're done eating, waiting for your food to go down a little. It is actually frustrating when we go to the US because the waiters expect you to leave the moment you're done eating, or so it seems. We might not talk much during the meal but during the sobre mesa the most interesting conversations ever take place. Also, we don't like noisy people in restaurants and that comes from someone who lives in the north, we are generally considered louder than central or southern Mexicans.
I'm Australian, and while we don't have a term for it, most of us also do something like "sobre mesa"... Maybe even have another drink, etc... It's very confronting the way American servers tend to INSTANTLY clear plates away; even more so when they clear some people's plates before everyone at the table is finished.
Yes in n Australian restaurants it is not unusual to stay for an hour or more after finishing your meal. The talking and conversation tends to happen afterwards while during the meal it is pretty quiet.
It's due to restaurants in the US being tip dependent. Once you're done leave so they can sell more and make more money. Unless you want to double what you would have tipped. Especially during prime dinning times.
As an American, I cannot stand when servers clear plates away when not everyone is done at the table. It always feels like they are rushing us out to turn tables so a new set of diners can come in and they will get more tips. This does not always happen though, especially at nicer restaurants. It is refreshing when we are in Europe or another country and no servers are constantly checking in or rushing us.
Kind of relevant, I remember I (with three others) was in a lodge in Italy and there was a large group of Italians loudly engaged in conversation. When the hostess announced the 'antipasti' or communal dishes that everyone gets beyond the personal choices, they all instantly became quiet and paid attention. After that, quiet conference on what to get, then loud conversation. AS SOON as one table got their first antipasti, it was back to quiet eating. Kind of wished I understood Italian but an absolutely fascinating and delicious experience.
not really - its 10-30 % of the bill .... but unlike America you don't have to tip in the uk And MOST places don't carry a service charge like America . In America - some places pay shitty wages far below our minimum wage which is LAW for all industries here . EGO and social status is derived in huge amounts in the USA ( culture ) via tipping but not so much in the UK
Worth noting that generally, the price of food in your typical restaurant in America is X cheaper than in comparison to the UK. A meal out in the UK is more of a treat, a special occasion. Once a month maybe? In America it’s often just what you do multiple times a week. Unless your wealthy, nobody in the UK could afford to eat out especially as a whole family to replace the normal evening meal. So tipping in America makes more sense aside from the staff wages, but in the UK you are already paying a high price for the food and drink. So the concept of tipping, adding even more to a bill seems to us Brits pretty crazy. It is polite to leave a tip of course, more often than not the service isn’t great, and if it is you’ve likely paid a lot for what you had. Hence reach for the change!
John Cleese said his inspiration for Basil Fawlty was when he was eating dinner with American Terry Gilliam at a hotel in Torquay. The rude hotel owner got very offended by the way Terry was using his utensils!
Re: the server checking "how are you doing?" There's an element of common law regarding "innkeepers" that says that if the customer isn't satisfied with the service provided, he has no obligation to pay for it. Having the server check back with the customer gives them an opportunity to mention any shortcomings in the food or service. When it comes time to pay, the customer can't avoid paying if they have raised no objections to that point. I'm not a lawyer, but I did take Business Law about 50 years ago, so base your comments on that.
Being a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church, we have always said a blessing on the food. My wife is from the Philippines, but I met her in the UK in Norwich ( she also is an LDS member), I met her at church there. Every time we went to dinner with other Filipinos (LDS or other beliefs) we always said a blessing. It’s cultural I guess.
My family (Christian) is from Florida and California. We "say grace" before most meals, but not by that term. We'll say, "let's thank God for the food," and one person will say a short prayer aloud -- then right after the "amen," it's fine to start eating. Or in a situation where people are eating already, it's expected that individuals joining the table will quietly say thanks before digging into the food. I like how this tradition sort of marks a "start" of the meal instead of having to watch for other cues as to when it's okay to take that first bite.
In the UK it was common to say grace up until maybe the 60s. Most people just said " For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful Amen" It seems to have died out along with so many other good traditions, in the changes and lack of respect issued in the last 70 years.
I had the same experience with the whole "grace" thing as an exchange student (I'm Australian. We're not particularly known for doing the grace thing here.) My host family did it, they even went to church on sunday mornings, even though they weren't particularly devout "believers". There seems to be an entire culture based around "being seen to be " over "actually being."
My parents do this but more for the reason that, ‘I haven’t really focused on God lately this week, I’ll go to church Sunday to at least get the gospel.’
Some of the heavier religious areas really influence pressure on not going to church and stuff. But it's becoming a lesser problem nowadays. Majority nowadays seem to not care as much about going to church unless you're truly religious, I think it may be due to the newer generations vs older generations. My great grandma and grandpa were way more religious than my grandma and grandpa. My mom and all her siblings never go to church but believe in god. My siblings and I give 0 ducks about any of it. This seems to be on trend with all my friends as well.
Your entries are irreverent and kind simultaneously. Thanks. I used to enjoy not warning friends about the vigorous greetings (hand shakes, cheek pinching and kissing and back patting in a hug) received upon arrival to an Italian & Italian-American dinner. The greeting lined formed and the guests were sort passed down the line. Non-Italians arrived at the end looking dazed. That’s how they entered a very lively dinner. A Brit might have imploded. Love your posts!
My family were old Americans of British Isles stock. We hug and kiss arriving and leaving. My husband's family was very stand-offish. At first he was embarrassed, but after about a year he became an enthusiastic hugger like the rest.
You have a wonderful brain and great openness in your thinking. I am surely a misplaced Brit. I am obsessed with British Medieval history. I literally grew up in professional theatre ( had to get rid of southern accent at age 9) and I swear to you, somehow, I understood Shakespeare from the start. Love you people!
@@craigslater2321 It depends on the restaurant. I hate when people have loud ringtones, I really hate that. Phones vibrate for a reason. Or people give their kids a game to play or something and the volume is all the way up and the parents do nothing about it. Recently, I was at a restaurant, and sitting not far from a family, and their youngest daughter would just randomly scream, not like cry, I mean literally *scream* they'd apologize and try to prevent it from happening but it's still like, really? If you know your kid will scream don't take them to a restaurant, you don't know if someone may have sensitive hearing or what. That goes with fork scrapers too. Some people scrape their forks ridiculously loud sometimes.
I wish they were more quiet too. I also wish restaurants were better lit. Low light gives me headaches. It seems like middle priced restaurants are always low lighting. Cheap places have better lighting and expensive places depends on what type of atmosphere they try to project. But those sit down, average priced places always have low lighting with a yellow tint.
I’m Faroese, and “saying grace” is somewhat common with Faroese families. My friend’s family used to _sing_ grace. Was really awkward for me, because I don’t sing and his entire family are choir singers.
@@May-gr8bp Have you ever heard the Faroese singer, Eivor? She sings in Faroese and English. Faroese is the purest form of language spoken by the Vikings. When she sings with throat singing and a drum, in "Trollabunden" it's riveting!
I grew up saying grace in Texas. I think singing grace sounds beautiful, especially in Faroese, which is a very lovely sounding language. My family is Norwegian-American, so we have Norwegian prayers that we say at the table before a meal.
Off subject but here’s a shoutout for your glasses. The shape is great. I swore I wouldn’t wear large glasses again (I was there for an earlier iteration 40 years ago) but now I’m thinking maybe I could wear these now.
See? I knew I'd mess up the American utensil etiquette. Apparently it's similar to the European way when cutting, but then similar to what I showed thereafter to eat - only switching to your right hand. What a roller-coaster!
Lost in the Pond also I have heard the origin of the hand switching is to slow down the length of time it takes to eat instead of shoveling food straight into your face.
No. No,no , no,, the classic American use of utensils,,, Is to firmly grasp the over stacked, over condementized burger,, not too firmly or it will all squirt out the edges, with two hands and all your fingers on deck,,, and try not to dollop it down the shirt front as you tuck into the other side. French fries,, which the French call American fries, are finger food as well. And then noisily lick and suck your fingers clean all the way to the third knuckle afterward. Now you've got it.
Lost in the Pond A roller-coaster, indeed! Another great video! 👍🏼
well, American way is much neater when we're eating all that sauce covered food. Diane Jennings did a video when she visited America and food kept falling off her fork
What I and apparently many others witnessed on Diane Jennings channel (former Irish TRY Channel participant) when she came to America to a Denny's restaurant and tried eating hashbrowns with her fork upside down (tines facing downward) she got a lot of American commenters talking about how cringe worthy that method was. Myself self included. We all were like, "WHAT ARE you doing?" These critiques stuck with her so much that she references back to that incident quite often in current videos.
That said, I don't know why any sensible human being would try to eat loose food by scooting it on the bottom of the fork (convex side) with their knife. It just doesn't make physical sense. I mean you wouldn't use a post hole shovel that way.
When my son was eight, he was asked to say grace at a special dinner. He bowed his head and started talking. A lady at the table interrupted him saying, "Stop mumbling. I can't understand you!" He looked up at her and replied, "That's okay. I'm not talking to you." Then he continued with no further interruptions.
That's great!
That is amazing. I love kids sometimes. The accidental verbal smackdowm they give at times.
Priceless !!
Classy kid! 🤣
😂😂😂
Perhaps Americans could have quieter dinner conversations if the restaurant turned down the damn background music so that we can hear each other at standard indoor conversation volume.
This, at every fucking night venue.
I have never encountered what you are talking about. Are you sure that it wasn't just the region you visited? I live on the east coast and have been up and down it. Never has there been loud music, if there even is music.
@@Good_Hot_Chocolate It's a syndrome out west, that three quarters of every restaurant - pub or not - has background music up about a quarter too loud. I attempt to speak with an indoor voice only to be met with "what?" after everything I try to say.
Have you ever been in a Wetherspoons in the UK no music at all but the noise is deafening with everyone just talking give me music any day .
Seriously!
Instead of a European experience with saying grace, how about a South African's experience? My husband, like you, came to the US for the first time around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was, therefore, the first big family meal he shared with us. We had a tradition where my Grandmother would start the prayer, then we would go around the table adding something for which we were personally grateful. Now my husband is a native Afrikaans speaker and learned English as a child from cartoons. So he wasn't too up on the lingo, so to speak. As a result, he said he was grateful for the hospitality he received on this the day when Americans celebrated eating the Indians.
Yep, that's right. He forgot the "with."
My mother, an amateur historian, without missing a beat, said "oh, no, honey. That's the Donner party, not the Pilgrims." So my husband believed, at least for the first few years he lived here, that we had an annual holiday to celebrate cannibalism.
And he still agreed to become a US citizen.
Michele Deetlefs oh no! 😂😂😂
@Tango Jones He'd been raised in a fiercely evangelical area of SA. That, combined with the high crime rate of SA means all my SA relatives can't understand why I unlock my doors to potential robbers once a year to hand out candy in some vaguely satanic ritual. But, I just tell them "it's Irish" and they nod sagely, having obtained the notion that the Scots and the Irish are all professional drunks from international rugby matches.
I probably laughed harder than I should have at this, but then I have been in quarantine for a week now. Somehow it seems much longer. Lol
Send this to Reader's Digest too. I read many jokes like yours on RD. Yes, I do read RD sometimes.
who says prepositions aren't important!
One of my Korean teachers did an exchange year at university in the US. He lived with a host family. The mom of this family was like my own mom and a lot of others back then At the family dinner mom peppers you with questions about your day. My teacher said he struggled with this. He didn't want to talk with a mouth full of food but he didn't want to stop eating in case his hostess would think he didn't like the food. Also, his food was getting cold and he grew up with chopsticks and so was learning how to deal with cutlery etiquette. Koreans have a lot of respect for elders, plus they had taken him into their home. He told me he finally he got up the courage to ask one of the sons in the family for help and I guess the kid spoke with the mom, because mom waited until dessert for the questions after that. She wasn't trying to be mean she was just excited and curious to have him there.
I lived in Korea for years. I find it incredulous that there's a Korean who is uncomfortable talking with their mouth full.
I feel like exchange students should have some kind of "crash course" before they get dropped into a culture they know nothing about. My mom's family had a South African exchange student when she was a teenager. Thank God my grandmother wanted him to experience America and, since she was a teacher, she was supportive and explained so much to him. My mom is in her 60s and she still keeps up with him and his family.
@@feraltaco4783 Yeah I think so. It works both ways too. My brother was wrapped around the axle about the exchange student from Argentina at our high school kind of chasing him. I had to point out he was captain of the soccer team. We were a small town, all around us it was American football. PS trying to get back here to answer you I clicked your channel. I loved your pet pictures and you have good taste.
@@angelachouinard4581 thanks. That's kind of you. 😊
@@phillipleblanc7823🤣😆😂
Having worked as a server and bartender in my younger years, I’ve got to tell you ... we don’t LOVE checking every 5 minutes. We realize that it’s disruptive. However, especially in large restaurant chains, our supervisors force us to do this. A server can be disciplined if she/ he doesn’t not do the 2-minute/2-bite check in. Secret shoppers and corporate inspectors are specifically asked to look for this. Every customer hates it. Every server hates it. It’s the upper management who missed that memo.
The more i learn about the US, the more it sounds like a police state. Except with employers running peoples' lives rather than the secret police.
@@jacobvardy Big corporations have strict expectations, for sure. But I wouldn’t say they run our lives ... they just enforce uniformity in the workplace. You’ll get much more personalized service at family owned establishments.
Ah, I wasn’t aware of that! My only visit to the States was a few years ago, a holiday to Florida with some friends. We knew about the tipping etiquette and followed that accordingly; and we were generally very impressed by the waiting staff and their friendliness. But a couple of times it felt too overbearing. I remember on those occasions we had to stop the servers and point out that we were in the middle of a conversation or say to them "we'll let you know if we need anything". One waiter in particular looked a bit 'stuck' at that. None of us had any idea that the constant checking up/chatting was compulsory though (or could result in disciplinary action if not followed); to us, their behaviour came across as too desperate, a bit rude, even. We weren’t trying to be mean or rude ourselves (never-mind land someone in trouble!), and in hindsight, I feel quite bad now. I just hope in our instances it wasn’t picked up by the supervisors!
They do this in the UK as well so I don't understand why folk are saying we don't. It's called a "check back" so the server will come back 5 minutes into your meal and check your enjoying your food or need more drinks. But they don't do it constantly 👍 I just politely say you don't need to check back just watch for an empty glass 😁
What are the servers expecting to help by returning after only 2 bites? I require at least 15 bites before I know if the meal tastes good. What would happened if I told the server to go away or he wont get a tip?
9:33 There's nothing I love more than hearing British people's imitation of American accents, they always end up sounding like either a caricature of a New Yorker or a cowboy who's recently suffered a stroke.
good description.
Cassitastrophe...wow! At work, we once had a visitor from NY, who told me I almost have a Southern drawl...now even though I came here when I was 16 (EEurope but not Russia) I haven't lost my English accent! It just goes to show how people interpret your accent!
Whereas Yanks ALWAYS nail British accents...🙄
His American accent is terrible, but my British accent is much, much worse.
@Planet of the grapes If I try a generic British accent I generally sound like Stewie from Family Guy or Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous.
In the US, the more expensive the restaurant, the quieter we are. We expect cheaper family restaurants to be loud.
Cheryl Bailey , I have tried to have romantic dinners at expensive restaurants with my husband, and still have a better than average chance of having a family with small children seated nearby, and Not the quiet, polite kind of children- the ones who get up from the table and run around, or squeal loudly, or bang their utensils on the table, etc. There are a lot of people these days (years) who feel that they are “entitled” to bring their kids anywhere.
GingerJeanie if the children were misbehaving, that would make me truly angry. You would think parents would have more sense.
@@JeanieD there are a lot and I mean a lot of expensive restaurants that don't allow children in. You gotta call ahead and ask. One expensive restaurant that my parents would sometimes go with my brother and I when we were little had a separate area with a door for people with children. I have no idea how my dad pulled this off, but we always ate in the main dining area. My brother and I were extremely good kids though.
Jessica Ely , that may be the case where you live. It doesn’t negate my experiences where I have lived.
@@JeanieD no this has been all over the US. Where I live there isn't a single expensive restaurant. We had to 2.5 hours to go to our expensive restaurant. We only did it when we were in town visiting friends and family.
I’m American, and I’ve always cut meat the “correct” way you showed, but I also use a fork every other way you illustrated, too. It depends on the food. Very versatile weapon, uh tool, the fork.
Same, here. I find it tends to depend on how much I'm relying on gravity to secure the food. Something like mashed potatoes, rice, pies, or peas would be scooped. But a firmly skewered piece of meat, slice of potato, or stalk of asparagus will usually see the tines remain downward.
Same, but I must admit I tend to use the European way even though I'm American.
The only time I really switch to the American grip is to scoop things, like rice or mashed potatoes.
Even when I use the fork alone, like when eating cake, I almost always hold it the European way.
I use both American and European styles, as well as swapping hands multiple times per meal.
@@toketsupuurin I do the same as an American
There is no overarching "correct way" to hold silverware. It just depends on what you were taught.
In States often hold fork in left hand, cut with knife in right hand. Then put down knife, switch fork to right hand and eat.
Yes! It’s so natural to change to the right hand, I don’t even notice that we do this!
Also, keeping your hand in your lap over your napkin, and no elbows on the table, completely freak out those who use continental manners!
All the time!
I'm predominantly right handed, but when I go to cut my food up, I cut with the knife in my left hand. I just keep the fork in my right hand in both cutting and eating. I still eat with the tines facing up though.
I live in Latin America, we call it american etiquette. No switching's called british.
I remember restaurants...In the before times.
I just eat with my hands now, after I’ve properly bleach-bathed them.
Guy Incognito oh god it’s only been 5 days
After Brexit, they said we might be forced to import bleachy (chlorinated) chicken. We all thought that sounded awful...I miss the before times.
Lol
If I could give multiple thumbs up, you'd get a few for that comment.
I caught myself eating yogurt with a serving spoon the other day. I realized that I'm so tired of WASHING THINGS that I just grabbed whatever clean spoon was close to hand.
On those rare occasions when I’m asked to say grace, i say this: “ Some people have an appetite, but no food. Some people have food, but no appetite. We have both, and for that, we give thanks.”
It’s better than, 🎥 Catch Me If You Can: “Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned, but the second mouse, he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and he walked out. Amen”
@Shirley Bailey He's a G
Nice. I am a non believer, but I can get behind that one.
Robert Burns! "Some hae meat that canna eat, and some can eat that ha'n't it. But we have meat, and we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit."
🙏😍
My husband spent some time in The Netherlands and adopted the continental style of using utensils. I use mine the American way. Our kids picked up a mixture of both as a result, though they mostly use the continental method. It's much more efficient. One of my daughters-in-law commented on it once, and told us how confused she was when she first started coming to family dinners.
ETA: I don't care how others hold their cutlery, just chew with your mouth closed.
Estimated Time of Arrival?🤔
Agreed.
At PW...Agreed....sound advice...😊
How’s it more efficient? If you hold it upside down food can slide off the fork, I can’t even imagine eating spaghetti that way!
@@barbaro4evr135 you switch from the tines down to up.
My American, Irish Catholic, Grandfather’s meal time prayer was “Thank God it’s here.” Lol
I can't remember any of my Catholic family saying grace, though I did learn the standard Catholic one at Sunday school ("Bless us oh Lord....") When I was in Scouts, we were expected to say Grace, so people just tended to go with the "God is great. God is good. And we thank him for this food. By his hand, we are fed. We thank you Lord for our daily bread." Or if people felt a bit less reverent: "Good food, good meat. Good God, let's eat."
Short and sweet!
My grandfather had two. One was " father, son, holy ghost, whoever eats fastest gets the most" and the other was " Bless the meat and damn the skin, open your mouth and shove it in"
My school one In England is ‘bless us o lord as we sit together bless the hands that eat the food bless us o lord Amen’ but we say are- men not amen
Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub...Yay God!
A house guest said this one, lol! My parents were SHOCKED!
The diffrence in eating brought me a chuckle. My youngest had to move back to the USA from Germany because I went to Iraq. My mother took him and my little brother to pizza hut and he requested a knife and fork. A elderly couple was at the next table and asked My son where he moved from and he told them. The gentleman was a veteran and told him never let anyone tease him about his table manners.
How you use your eating utensils is not really a matter of manners. At least not to polite people
@@glenn6583 He didn't really mean table manner per se. If you read the context of the post, he meant more like eating "preferences" or something. I fully understood what he meant.
Well, I'm an American and I start off eating my Pizza with a knife and fork until I get quite close to the end crust area. When I was in Australia and went to Pizza Hut I requested a knife and fork. The girl behind the counter said but you ordered pizza and I replied yes I did
@@suewolf3279Me too. It's because we're not feral.
My husband and I use a knife and fork to eat pizza. Eating with your hands is messy and gross.
My stepdad used to say "If you don't bless the food before you eat it, it goes to hell."
I once finally replied "I don't care where it winds up as long as it goes through my digestive system first."
Maybe spicy food hell is just a bit closer after it is leaving your digestive tract
Ask if there is really a worse fate than being eaten by stomach acid and crapped out.
"...And then he beat me with jumper cables."
I love when they bless the food to "nourish and strengthen us" when its donuts, etc.
🤣
One of the best parts about this series is Lawrence’s impressions of American accents.
in london last year i was having lunch at a pub, i got on very well with the bartender and asked about tipping. His response was perfect. It’s not expected, but we don’t mind it.
Same here in Australia. 😁
Because the wage is good and that incentivises us enough to serve well and cheerfully.
When we were in Spain, I loved how servers would not hover over you at restaurants or cafes. They just leave you alone to enjoy the meal. It was so refreshing to not feel rushed. We ate our meal, drank our wine, took our time and when we were ready, we gestured for the check. I miss that here.
Idk how it is in other parts of the US but where I live, no one expects a tip. Will we look at you a little funny if you leave no tip on a $70+ bill? Sure. But its not like we're gonna chase you down after you pay and tell you off lmao
@@mcd08 where in the heck do you live? Do you not know that uncle sucker assumes waiters/waitresses get a minimum 8% in tips?
@@gemoftheocean what are you talking about?
I'm an American, we went to church every Sunday, but only said Grace on holiday meals. My husband's family day Grace before every meal, all the time.😊. So even American families differ from each other.😊
I've only seen super religious households do grace. Most houses I've been to for meals don't bother with grace. So it definitely differs between families and households
Having traveled a bit when I was in the US military, I've realized that tipping in the US is essentially subsidizing the restaurant owner by paying their servers for them.
Exactly. it is infuriating to have to pay the wages of their staff. Especially when it is a large corporate conglomerate. I always tip very well regardless of anything but I do think it is terrible that servers get paid $3.50/hour and the restaurant expects the diners to make up for it. Especially here where I live because most of the business comes from tourists who may not know the tipping culture or may not care (especially rich Americans who are the cheapest people I have ever met). I am sure many people get stiffed. We were out to dinner the other night and the tip alone was $85 for four regularly priced meals and some wine.
And I still don’t understand why some people can possibly deem it as merely cultural difference when it is an actual employee welfare issue.
Is really not true - as having worked in the restaurant business you can make really good money ie much higher than the minimum wage and do quite well .
My USN husband was serving overseas and went to a German restaurant that had a reputation for exceptionally good food. His waitress was very nice so he left a great tip. She actually chased him down to give most of it back.
It also may ensure good customer service and less turnover. And servers know they can make more money .
I was working at McDonald's and I had a British person and try to tip me it was very funny conversation we had I basically explained that if the waiter comes to your table then it's generally accepted to tip if you have to order at a counter with exception of bars you don't
I never understood the bar bit either. I understand tipping for a well made cocktail or something, but if the extent of service is handing me a bottle from a refrigerator 2 feet away...
I actually know people who regularly tip fast food workers since they get paid so badly and put up with so many hassles
I learned a variation of this (I’m American). If you have to take care of your own trash after your meal, then don’t tip (you did the work). But if someone else takes your dishes and stuff away, then do tip (because they’re taking care of you).
I’m a waitress in the restaurant of an Irish 4 star hotel, during our peak tour season (roughly April-October) we get a lot of tour buses full of Americans, from my experience they are usually the kindest but definitely the loudest groups that we serve! It’s quite comical the increase in decibel level in the restaurant once the Americans arrive! Wishing I was chatting to and serving 60 Americans some hearty Irish stew instead of being quarantined at home right now😢
And we tip..
You are so sweet.
My husband and I were in Ireland in 2018 and we absolutely adored every moment.
He and I are both relatively quiet people and we get a little annoyed by the decibel that sometimes occurs in a restaurant as well.
But thank you for saying such sweet things about our countrymen ❤
@@melissadurante1450 especially well when on a trip too.
You made me hungry for some good Irish stew...if we weren't under quarantine and I had the extra money I'd be a loud American for you lol.
Right before this all started some friends and I found a nice little Irish pub (in the US) and I just told my friend today I hope they are able to weather this shutdown and will be open when its all over.
Grace is how the irreverent cousins find each other at Thanksgiving - you look around to see who else has their eyes open and bond with them.
LOL !!
😂👍🏼
Every. Damn. Time.
Lol
it would be me but I'm too afraid so I just look down and think about whatever
Sitting though Grace as a guest when it's not something you do in your own home is the most awkward thing ever.
More awkward is when you come from an extremely devout family but have become an atheist and then your father asks you to say grace.
Little Bird Life just bow your head and be reverential. It does not mean you embrace their religion but is respectful and I would do the same for any religion
@@Platypi007 Just remember the standard prayer: "for what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful....Amen." I am a Christian, but even I find it hard to see a point to asking non Christians to momentarily behave as though they are.
You haven't lived until you sit through a 5 minute grace, THEN everyone around the table has to say out loud a special intention or acknowledge a prayer answered, or a request. This was done at a restaurant with 25 people in the party. Took us 30 minutes to finish, and our food was cold by them.
Americans only want to talk about money/job, children and religion. Heaven help you if you're don't believe in "God"/Jesus.
@@PotterSpurn1 I use the standard Jewish prayer over food, and it will be another 8 years before my Christian relatives ask me to say grace. If they really aggravating me I say it in Hebrew.
Growing up in Northern Illinois in the United States, we prayed during dinner, which we called supper. Back then, we had breakfast, dinner and supper. Now, because I'm so cosmopolitan 😂I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Most people who go on quiet dates or want quiet conversation here in the States rarely go to family restaurants. Here, the more expensive or high end usually means the less noisey.
Edward James You must not live in the NY area Edward....I would love to find a restaurant around here that had table cloths, good food, and a quiet atmosphere where you could enjoy a romantic evening. ☺️💕
@@dianawest3976 I am NOT in a huge city like NY and I still would love to find a quiet restaurant in which to dine and have a quiet conversations that are reasonably priced. I don't understand where those restaurants went. As a child I couldn't wait to be an adult and go to the nice restaurants (in rural towns) with large curved booths to sit in, low lighting, mellow music, a dance floor for romantic dancing, and where you could hold calm conversations over a bottle of wine. My parents used to go to them 2-3 nights a week (so they weren't killer prices). NOW THEY ARE GONE....."who moved my cheese?!?!" How do we get them back?!?
The classification of these restaurants is already strange. We just divide in with service, or without service. Of course nobody has a date at McDonalds.
My general rule of thumb: If there’s a kids menu, don’t expect a quiet time.
@Holger P. As a broke teenager, I can definitively say you are wrong, also I went out with my girlfriend and her father to the shooting range as a date so... Needless to say she is better shot than I am. But yes people go to McDonald's on dates if they are poor.
Server based in Cardiff, Wales here! Typically when it comes to serving tables, there's a reason that we keep away, we don't want to annoy people or get in their way. To people over here, it's seen as really rude and interruptive if they're checked on usually more than once, if they want your attention they'll make it known. That's not to say we don't check in on them regularly, we just do so silently just by glancing at their tables, drinks and faces to see if it's all looking good mood wise. One time my supervisor checked on my table for me and forgot to tell me, so when I went to check on the table the customer exploded in my face demanding privacy, wanted to see the manager and everything.
On the flip side, being in the Welsh capital we get American tourists a lot and some of them say that it seems like we're unenthusiastic to engage with them (because of this etiquette), most of the time when I explain the cultural difference and that we just want to let them have their time how they want it without being interrupted they're fine with it, as a matter of fact only one table didn't understand and was still angry (but they also complained at the start that Welsh was on the first page and English was on the second so I really didn't care what they thought from the get go, don't go for the language in Wales it's an easy way to not be liked lmao)
I'm in Ireland and I get the impression that Americans want to keep you at their table and are oblivious to the other table under your watch. I hope you reminded the customers that complained about Welsh been in the menu what country they were in that's just ignorance.
My husband told me that when he went overseas, he looked for the restaurants where the locals ate, because the food was good and the service was fine. I’m not able to travel but if I was, I sure would be polite to whoever lived in that country. I travel now by viewing different countries on line.
I’m American and I hate the constant checking in. There’s been times they’d come over every 5 minutes. Another time it was so often I actually told her to stay away because she was so disruptive. I told her- watch our glasses, if they’re not empty, don’t stop by. It’s so aggravating because you can’t even have a conversation.
@@rtsharlotte I'm a server in the US, and people make feel me like they don't think about the other tables I could have. Very true.
@@rtsharlotte I so want to say that it is typical of many Americans
When I lived in the States I soon found out that if you want an undisturbed meal tell the server "we have everything we need and I'll give you a nod when we want the bill thank you".
The reasonable way to deal with this issue!
Brilliant advice!
If you have everything you need, and don't intend on ordering more drinks or dessert, then just ask for the bill when they come back to check on your meal. Then, whenever you're ready to pay, put your credit card or cash on/in it in a way that is clearly visible to the server and place it at the edge of your table and they will see it when next they pass your way. If you've decided in the meantime that you'd like that slice of cake after all, just ask them to add it to your bill before they run your card. Your way requires them to keep eyeing you for an hour, hoping to look at you at just the right moment to catch the nod. It's not a terrible method by any means, just less practical, and does require quite a bit more lurking on your server's part.
At my table, we held hands and said grace for every meal. When the kids brought their friends over, we still did it. I was surprised that their friends enjoyed it, too. It was never mandatory, but rather grateful and joyful for being together with God and the food we had.
I don't mind saying Grace, but what I do detest is when it is used to lay out all sorts of prayers and petitions. Grace is to thank God for the food, not to ask Him to heal your kidney stones or help in a job search. Everyone is hungry, let them eat and save those prayers for a more appropriate time. I know this sounds rude, but I think it is even more rude to use mealtime prayers in that way.
What about the horror when you are at some family's dinner and they all HOLD HANDS THE WHOLE TIME and each person is forced to say something, particularly at Thanksgiving, and you have to come up with the particular acceptable bullshit?!!!
I thought the whole purpose of saying Grace was to make every one at the table feel awkward so to limit conversation.
@@emjayay My introverted, personal-space-loving self is twisting in horror at the very idea!
I barely tolerate having to hold hands with family for the Thanksgiving and Christmas grace, and that's only 20 seconds tops.
i’m a Christian and I agree, thank the food and let’s eat!!
I prefer to thank the farmers, trucker, producers, and the cook for the food. You know, the people who actually had something to do with the meal.
The guy who told you 85% was definitely a server.
😂😂😂
I think "bastard" is the operative word here.
[pǝʇɔɐpǝɹ] : I thought that maybe he was at that bar waiting for his partner (your server) to get off work. That much of a tip is unreal, so large that he could brag and laugh about it later.
I think you didn’t get he was only exaggerating what happened, to give some more drama to the story.
I laughed throughout the whole thing, especially the accent. "How's the tenderloin working out for you." LOL
Almost sounded like a Minnesotan
"ya" not "you"
Read that at the exact moment 🤯
Omg i about died laughing. You can tell he spent time in Indiana.🤣🤣🤣🤣
That Midwestern accent was spot on!
Grace is one of the best traditions to an American meal. 30 seconds of unsupervised silence for kids to freak out, every dog in the house to bark relentlessly, parents to try corral the kids/dogs without opening their eyes, and those of us with our eyes open trying not to break out in laughter at the dog and pony show.
Ah, fond memories of the trauma of dinners with my American Step-mom and British-To-The-Bone Grandmother. No matter which way I did it I had to hear all about it afterward. And everyone wonders why I got such a passion for Asian foods. Chopsticks. So simple.
I could never eat with chopsticks. Very difficult for me.
But then you have Thailand which uses spoons
@@Neo-hw7nu The secret to chopsticks is to apply a light touch. They aren't a gripping tool, but a maneuvering one. You hold them like pencils, and only use as much force as necessary to pinch off a bite-sized bit of food and lift it gently from point A to B. If you try to squeeze, it will just pop out and wing itself across the table.
With the right technique and a bit of practice you can get very good at it, and possibly even come to prefer them.
Until you get a vietnamese, korean and chinese person in the same room correcting your grip
Edit: and each grip is different from the other
@@AdmiralStoicRum On that note, there's a fun video I recently came across by a channel called World friends, "Chinese, Japanese, Korean Chopsticks difference", where women from those three countries discuss the differences in their shapes and use. Dunno about Vietnam, though.
When I was 15 years old I went on a language course in England (mum didn't want me to go to Hastings and speak Swedish with other Swedes, so she sent me to a girls' boarding school for a month), and there we said grace (strange expression, isn't it?):
"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
I have thought about that practice, and that wording, from time to time ever since.
Getting fed every day is not something to be taken for granted. And the work
put into growing the food and preparing it is not something to be taken for granted, either.
I think it is good to contemplate that and encourage oneself to be grateful for not going to bed starving,
even if one does not direct one's thanks towards a deity.
I like that and totally agree. the labor which goes into farming or is manufactured is something we should acknowledge :) 🌿🌹
This is standard , if anything is said at all, in English schools.
Same prayer in the Sound of Music by Maria at her first family meal.
At the age of 15 i stay a language vacation in South england, as an atheist i was forced to grace . This was disgusting ,emb3rasing and very disturbing to me. It strengthenmy resistance against any form of "believe".
@@kratzikatz1 You could have excluded the lord part. A party leader in Sweden who went the twelve steps to fight her alcoholism did not use the word God (Gud in Swedish) when she said the Serenity prayer, but Gudrun (her name). Yes, her name was exceedingly fitting, but she would have come up with another solution had she had another name.
My mother was a Swedish immigrant. I used my fork and knife "European style" growing up, did not really know that it was referred to as that particular style, until eating with others and hearing remarks as -"Oh, you eat European style". Why people are bothered by these things is a mystery. As long as one is not messy or obnoxious while eating, any technique should be acceptable. Love your channel.
I agree - but people love to bash Americans for seemingly anything. They think it makes them sophisticated.
@@stockinettestitch I've seen many comments here bashing the British, which is far more prevalent than bashing Americans. Comments like "The British way of using utensils is atrocious".
Who's bothered? Lol
"My wife says I still eat like a toddler" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am so dead. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
You don't get out much do you?
When we'd say grace when I was a kid we'd always hold hands. My grandpa would always be next to me. After "Amen" he'd say "Squeeze!!" and squeeze my hand. It was the best.
That's cute. :)
good memories
This is so wholesome 💗
A squeeze of the hand is saying “I love you”.
I'm from Paisley in Scotland and we said grace at every meal for the first 14 years of my life til my Gran died. Gran insisted upon it as well as impeccable table manners and etiquette. Please may I leave the table was the only way you were allowed get down from her massive dining chairs when I was a child.
lol. or "May I be excused?"
That's still the way that any child should get down from the table. We used to say grace in primary school. I'd forgotten, until reading this.
My family, and all my extended family, still say "grace" before meals. I never knew it was universally frowned upon.. lol 🙏❤
If a child finishes early, they ask (as well as we did as children), "May I please be excused?" 🥰
I remember decades ago, at a large family gathering, the television had been left on with Nintendo(?) paused. The boys finished early, and asked to leave the table in order to return to their game.
Dessert was served a while later. A small trick was played on them telling them they couldn't have dessert because they had already left the table. Their poor faces and body posture!! 😳😫 Of course, they were invited back and served a few helpings of dessert! Such as growing boys! 😂🥰💙
A lot of Scots emigrated to the mountains of south-eastern USA in the 19th century - I see many many echoes of 'Southern' USA culture in Scottish folks today.
I guess I can thank my Scottish heritage, had the same upbringing here in Canada.
Whenever i talk with American people my English accent/politeness gets stronger and stronger until i start sounding like i'm in a Jane Austin novel.
Ha!
Hahaha!!
😂
If someone started speaking to me as if I were in an Austen novel, I'd probably offer to buy them a meal. I'm a sucker for well-spoken language in a lovely accent. Either that or it's because I'm currently living in Florida and desperate for culture.
Your proud to be english that's a good thing everyone should take pride on where there from and the way they talk.
I think nowadays saying "grace" in America is only for super religious families or definitely in the south. It's more of an older tradition that most American families don't really do, at least not for every meal. Yes, maybe just Thanksgiving or Christmas, as the two biggest family / meal holidays.
I remember when I was little and we went to someone else's house for Thanksgiving (long-time friend of the family's, not related) there were like 20 other people there. Everyone got a plate of food, sat down, and the host gave a speech / said grace, then we all started eating. You are very correct that it's like a moment of silence to pay your respects, and then it's time to celebrate (eat and chat).
Also, the chatting part was amusing to me because at any large table with more than 8+ people, most divide up conversations between just the people next to them or across from them. There could be four or five different conversations going on at the same table if it's a large party. If you're in the middle, you might go back and forth looking at one person talking, then a different person talking, and you feel awkward trying to decide whose conversation to listen to, lol
I never cared for saying Grace, but I especially hate being told to hold the germy hands of the people on either side of me at the table, while someone says some prayer that they prefer. Ick!
@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 oh gosh, I hope people don't make you do that anymore! Usually you just bow your head slightly and close your eyes, and if need be, put your hands in the praying position 🙏
My favorite British trait, which I call 'The Prompt'. You likely do it and are completely unaware of it. As you stated the British are by and large a bit more private and stand-offish than Americans. Thus you've perfected the pacifying small talk in interactions with acquaintances or a stranger you are forced to encounter that allows you to be polite but not very engaging.. However, Ive found that when a British person wants to have a more in depth and engaging conversation, they will ask you a question and give this very particular look and motion. Its hard to describe, but essentially they widen their eyes, look directly at you and move their head forward as though they are trying to hear you better, or like they are gesturing for an expected answer ( like wen interrogating a shy child and you ask a question and this same notion lets them know you demand an answer). Its very subtle body language, but says volumes. It says, " Yes, I want to have a REAL conversation with you beyond polite platitudes." I got used to seeing it in England, but recently a British co-worker here in the states, who usually just say hello and moves on came up to me and ask a question and gave 'the prompt'. I almost laughed but instead launched into a nice chat with him.
that's very interesting. I want this that sounds hilarious
I know that look.. The less subtle, the movement and eye movement is, the more trouble you're in and likely to have your mom smack you across the face.
I heard the best way to end a conversation is Britain is to slap your legs and just say in a somewhat louder voice "Well.." and whatever you wish to follow up with. "I gotta go" is my go-to as an American.
Thanks for sharing, that sounds like an incredibly useful cue to give and receive socially, I'm jealous! 👍
what? that look and nod isn't universal!? I had no idea it was a British trait!
We British are NOT "private and stand offish " at all ! We are more reserved
than Americans, and dont leap in with new acquaintances in answering what
WE regard as very personal questions! It is common to be asked by an American
you have just met " and WHAT do you do " as if they are judging whether bothering with you is worth it !
I really enjoy hearing about the customs of people outside of America.
Agreed 👍🏾
Yeah, they do exist.
seach on all the accents of britain: like I have a have posh and half roadman accent.
Parents who allow their kids to wander around in a restaurant should be asked to leave.
Simon Templar Agreed. I have had kids come sit at my table with me, and take food from my plate. No parents in sight. I have considered carrying pre-printed notes to pin onto unsupervised children. I love businesses that post signs saying "unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy". My notes wouldn't be so kind.
@@giabarrone7422 😂😂I witnessed s brat recently beg to have a starter and a main meal after being told he wouldn't eat it all. Parents indulged him of course. Not only did he not eat his food he ran all round the restaurant and then was given a dessert. There should be an exam to pass before you're allowed to be a parent.
Agreed.
Agree. I think they should have a separate section for children. On one particular occasion my husband and I had our nice meal disrupted by children running around the restaurant yelling. Irritated me that I spent my money to be disturbed
@@annseabolt6645 it all depends on the restaurant. If you're eating at Applebee's or Dennys, families with children are just part of the deal. Fine dining? Nice restaurants? I agree. Generally, just don't take kids under 5 or so, and only ones who know how to act.
For context, I was raised Baptist but concerted to Catholicism in high school with my parents. I've found that my baptist family say grace much more regularly than the Catholic friends my parents invited over. Baptist grace tended to be very free form, based on whatever is going on for the people at the meal at that time, while Catholic grace is usually a specific prayer with maybe a short specific thanks given at the end. I also didn't often run into hand holding; that tends to be a special gathering thing for both but slightly more common with Catholics
Yes, I also noticed over the years that my Baptist friends and family say Grace more consistently and frequently than my Catholic friends. And yes it is more freeform. I include what is currently happening at that time as well as the moment.❤
Coming from a mixed Ctholic/Protestant family, the Catholic side did seem much more wed to rote ritual ...
As a Catholic: "Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." It's basically mandatory. Although we do often offer specific causes the prayer is intended to serve, generally before the prayer.
Holding hands during prayer is very Southern no matter which Christian sect you belong to.
I always call the Baptist/Protestant type of prayer the "we just" prayer.
The reason the sound level of each table keeps going up when youre at a restaurant is because each table has to fight to hear itself speak amongst the nearby tables, so it forms an escalating noise. Some Americans, not all, consider eating at a restaurant to be the same thing as attending a party.
Because there is blaring music people have to speak over. I think if they would just turn down the music it would be so much nicer.
I think (most) americans speak louder than (most) europeans. I think it is a culture thing.
@@d.s.3551 I agree
@@Peacefrogg Maybe they see it as 'freedom' and independence.
Orange Ziggy that kind of makes sense. Looking at history, i get how the us as a young country may have had the need to prove itself and that would reflect itself in the culture. Maybe that also explains why ‘bigger is better’ over there. And why advertising yourself is seen as a virtue, while in most cultures it can be considered as arrogant.
The fact that you have half of your mind on the turkey during grace indicates that you're not yet a real American. If you were, you would be 100% focused on the turkey.
Oh my, that's hysterical.
Most Brits have turkey for Xmas Dinner.
Yes. The mad rush after grace is to make up for time lost to the process of saying grace! It occurred to me that despite not having used them for 20+ years (if not more), I can still recite quickly from memory the two standard formats for grace: "God is great, God is good, Let us thank him for our food, Amen." (for generic gatherings with lots of kids) and "Bless us oh Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." (for Catholic family gatherings) The more serious Christians actually improvise when saying grace. MANY of us use the formulas. :-)
YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR ANY AMERICANS EXCEPT YOUR SELF HERE.
@@randomcommenterfromdownund8949 "Bless us oh Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen." 3 x per day x 5 years @Catholic boarding school '66 to '70 - Perth WA...Later in life, just for fun it became...2 4 6 8 Bog in don't wait!! :D
True story: When I was in kindergarten (age 5), the teacher said we were going to have a minute of silence. (I don't know what tragic event occurred). She said to just bow your head and say a little prayer.
So I did as instructed, and said to myself:
"Dear heavenly Father, Thank You for this food, amen"
LOL LOL
As a child, I thought saying grace before a meal was a means of warding off food poisoning.Your guess was probably as good as mine. 😆
we STAN tho
LOL😁😻
So cute!!!
My friend and I went to England in 2011. I didn't notice that much difference at restaurants from back home in terms of noise and service quality. And now that I think about it, I think we tipped what we normally do (20%). It never occurred to us not to tip. My friend's first job was as a waitress making $1.60 an hour, so tipping is something we've always been conscious of.
The UK has a minimum wage, by law! It is a decent living wage, and we do tip
for extra good or pleasant staff, but usually around 10% but it is never expected.
We are Christian, but my husband and I never said Grace or a prayer at meals (I’ve always found it such an arbitrary time to pray). My parents came for Thanksgiving when our daughter was about 3, and asked her to ‘say Grace’. Poor kid was very confused about why Grandma and Grandpa wanted her to say her middle name out loud at the table. 😂
Tried to teach the swimming game Marco Polo to a new family member from El Salvador. I demonstrated saying "Marco" and explained the ins-and-outs of the rules about having to reply "Polo" so long as your head is above water, while if you're underwater, you can always pretend you don't hear. After we played a couple rounds, I told him it was his turn. He called out my first name, at which point I explained that it isn't "[Your Name Here] Polo" if the other person *isn't* named Marco.
Extremely not arbitrary time to pray...in fact the most poignant time to do so. What better time than to thank for sustenance and survival. Furthermore, in our modern lives, the time when we're all together.
What kind of “Christian” are you? Not thankful for God’s provisions? Wow. 😕
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats The kind that has a personal relationship with my savior, talks with and thanks Him when I am in connection with Him, and the kind that doesn’t judge people on the internet for thinking differently than me. ☺️
@@SolaScriptura-n-cats
Saying something does not equate feeling it.
Not saying something does not equate NOT feeling it.
I am in the process of teaching my 11 year old daughter to distinguish between good religion(s) and bad religion(s), genuine religious sentiment and secterist thinking. As the bad examples, I am using certain murderous psychopathic hordes (no need to name them more specifically) but also the far less numerous but equally deluded and psychopathic people in the U.S. who a couple of decades ago murdered doctors that performed abortions.
"In my wife's words I still eat like a toddler"
Me: welcome to the club
D. Price ikr
I'd hope none of that food would be thrown and sticking to the walls.
Been to the US multiple times, tipped everytime, but I do not like it. Tipping in Europe is a way how to appreciete exceptional service and not obligation, I feel that is right way.
I tip even when the food is bad; it is generally not the servers fault for the nasty food. However, if the service is practically non existence, I do not tip.
Tipping in America is more important than what other countries might think I feel. Our servers don't get paid much (depending on region) and sometimes they get accused for things that didn't happen (mostly from elders) just so the customers could get free food or something. Tipping in America is very appreciated and it helps out a lot. So when foreign people say they don't like it, at least know you're making someone's shitty day better
In the US, employers pay their service staff much less than minimum wage. It’s something like $2.00/hour. The government expects you to make up the difference with tips. Tips must be declared and are taxed accordingly. The IRS spot checks restaurants to make sure everyone is reporting tips accurately. Servers in turn tip their busboys and bar tenders. That’s why they ask so many questions. In Europe, serving food is a profession. It’s a different mental space. I have found in France that servers want you to appreciate the food. They act as liaisons between the kitchen and your mouth. It’s a gustatory experience. In the US, it’s strictly transactional. If we want you to pay us with 25% tips, we make sure that you lack for nothing and the food is somewhat secondary.
Sometimes being an American is weird.
It may very well be "the right way" but it is not the way it is in the U.S.. Since a server in the U.S. is dependent on tips for his or her wages, please adhere to the protocol of the place you find yourself.
That is how it started out in America. Now people expect it without the exceptional service. Waitress go along with it because they can get away with not reporting it as taxable income. The restaurants do it because they are allowed to pay them much less than the average worker.
Utensil "etiquette" has always been funny to me. But I've actually realized in recent years how much I appreciate the general American style of only picking up the knife to make a few cuts, then going back to the fork only. It slows the meal deal, and allows it to be more of a social experience. The time I've spent in Europe (Germany, in particular), I always felt the meal was rushed with both utensils constantly in-hand and not taking a break. The one big exception to this in my European travel/living has been the French countryside, where multiple courses, multiple drink pairings (even a meal at someone's house - I'm not talking about going out to eat), where the pacing slows things down and promotes that communal element that I so love about food and drink.
My family...both sides, supper or Sunday dinner (2pm) was always an hour minimum, holidays even longer. Lots of talking and laughing as well as eating. Very relaxing and enjoyable.
I know Americans must think servers here are terribly rude but I would much prefer to be left alone and flag someone down if I need them than have to talk to them every 5 minutes. I'm not a social creature and having to constantly interact with strangers over the course of a whole meal sounds like literal hell to me.
I'm American and I agree with you.
see, to americans, because they come up so often, it would actually seem kinda rude to flag down a waiter. or it would seem as if the waiter isn't doing a good enough job. (or if you're in a rush, it's usually fine for that.) it's not a nuisance, really, it's a nice thing to have people fill up your water right when you need it. you don't need to have a full conversation with them every single time, it's just a nice thing.
I agree. I hate being bothered in restaurants. I travel to the USA quite a bit and get really annoyed at being asked if everything is ok every 5 minutes. If I have a problem, I'll ask for you. Leave me alone! What's worse though is that in non-tipping jobs the customer service is terrible there which makes it more obviously fake.
It's more like every 8 minutes, not quite that often
My wife and I went to a place in Eastern San Diego County that had little flags you ran up at your table if you wanted service or to be left alone. Simple yet effective.
Regards to food Brits "Tuck In" and Americans "Dig In"
In Devon, we get on the outside of a meal. ;)
@@Beedo_Sookcool
The British "go and eat," while Americans "go eat:" however the English grammar books say we should "go to eat."
@@faithlesshound5621 I think it might be part of the German influence on our language. Certain words can be omitted from a sentence if they're pretty well understood to be an implicit part of the statement. For instance, in German class if we wanted to go to the lavatory, we'd say "Darf Ich ins WC". This translates directly as May I to the bathroom. In English, we'd say may I go to the bathroom (Darf Ich ins WC gehen). The way I was taught was that in German you can shorten the sentence by omitting gehen because it's universally understood that you'll need to go there for the sentence to make any sense.
᛬ᚹᛁᛚᚺᛖᛚᛗ᛫ᛋᛖ᛫ᛚᛇᚱᚾᛁᛝᛣᚾᛁᚺᛏ᛬ I’ve never heard that saying in my life.
@@wilhelmseleorningcniht9410 Tuck in is for bed. Where in America have you heard it used for food?
In American restaurants such as Outback, Longhorn, Chili’s, Applebee’s, or any “sit down a while” restaurant, there are some unspoken rules about interacting with the waiter.
The waiter shows your your table and asks what you’d like to drink. When he returns with the drink, he informs you of today’s special dishes and asks if you’d like an appetizer. During this time he will leave you alone, but he will always be in the corner of the room watching and scanning all the tables to see if you’re ready to order. If you’re ready to order, put your menu down and sit back with your chin high. Thai usually gets their attention without needing to ever draw your focus to the waiter. if you’re taking longer than expected to decide what you want, the waiter will come by and ask if you’re ready or have any questions.
When you’re out of water, place your glass at the end of the table carefully avoiding your guests’ “plate area”. Waiters make rounds frequently through the dining room to refill drinks. I have always known that it is normal to pause your conversation when the waiter comes by. Always say thank you.
They will try to up sale you, just say no.
When you’re done with your plate, silverware goes on the plate in a way where it looks like you’re not going to grab in anymore. Usually an X on the plate.
After your American sized entree they’ll ask if you want dessert, you don’t need it, and if you do, it’s better and cheaper at other restaurants.
I am only a couple of months back from the US and I found the etiquette to be very different to what I was used to, in my country which exists within the UK the server will show you to your table leave you with your menu and tell you they will come back when you are ready, you then sit and choose your meal options and drinks before setting the menu down and the server will always come straight over to see if you are ready to order, you tell them your drink option and what you want as your starter and your main course. They will then take your menu and return to the kitchen to place the order for you. You will be served promptly and the server will leave you alone unless you wish to gain their attention or if your group is larger than 10 as they like to ensure that big groups are all satisfied. The server will come over when you are finished knowing that you are because you have set your cutlery together (an X will mean do not touch my plate I am not done yet) and offer you tea, coffee or any other drink of your choice and bring you the dessert menu and once again leave you until you are ready to order. When you have finished your entire meal they will come clear the table for you and you can ask for the bill and they will bring it to you, we find it to be standard that unless you are paying by card that you will round to the nearest note when paying whether that is a 5 or 10 however the change is the tip, this means that the tip could be non-existent or tiny or up to £4.99 but never more due to the cash being payed. We always say thank you and due to my upbringing no matter the meal or location I will always say Grace as my Late Sunday School teacher would come back to kill me if I didn't.
@@drewfinlay3618 Your country, which exists within the UK? Scottish or Irish?
@@rylian21 Could also be Wales.
@FortuneTeller Yes, thank you. That is what I am used to as well.
Irish??
It’s the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. There’s four countries (not two) and none of them are Irish.
England, Scotland, Wales (I sense you were semi-deriding the English, so what did the Welsh do to you?) and NORTHERN Ireland. The Irish are actually a whole other country and not part of the UK at all. And would probably find it insulting to be grouped in with us UK lot.
We watch a lot of British tv shows and have noticed the differences in the way characters hold their forks in particular. Thanks for explaining this as we wondered if that person in the story just had bad manners or the tines down fork was really a thing. It looks so unusual to this American.
It looks unusual to me, Northern Irish. Like, how else would you do it. Predominant utensil in dominant hand. "You cut with your strong hand" is the justification I've heard, but even eating that person's food I don't find I need that much knife...
Also, they keep their hands on the table, whereas US is whatever hand we’re not using is on our lap over the napkin.
Our family always holds hands and says grace at family dinners. Especially Thanks giving where we each say what we are grateful for and Christmas when we thank God for Christ and His blessing on us.
Same here. We hold hands and say grace in unison. I think it's sweet and strengthens our bond as a family.
My grandmother remarried to an Englishmen when my mother and her siblings where very young. They were taught the "English" way to use their utinsils. All the grandchildren where taught the same way. It wasn't uncommon to hear other families say how well mannered we all where at the dinner table. We were just doing what we were taught.
That's because the Continental way of holding utensils is much more basic and requires less hand eye coordination to master. Give a kid a fork and he will grab it. Holding it delicately balanced as we do is harder for kids to master.
@@TheRagingPlatypus I am surprised by your comment, unless you missed out a word and so I misunderstood it. The Continental way of holding utensils appears far more elegant to me, more delicate and careful and considered. It requires quite a lot of skill, and takes years to learn to do properly. For example it's entirely counter-intuitive and requires a lot more care and planning to transport loose items into your mouth via the tines of a fork than it does simply scooping them. There is also a lot less clatter, if you're not having to constantly put down your knife.
As a Roman Catholic raised in South Dakota, we always said Grace on Thanksgiving dinner , and Christmas feast (more casual), because Christmas was always less organized. Always we had lots of Kosher red wine, and (Dakota), lots of cold beer. “The beer is starting to freeze, bring the cooler in from porch into the kitchen!”
Tips are ten percent minimum, twenty percent max!
I was at a meeting one time and the lady leading our group asked us to stand and hold hands to say grace before our luncheon meal. We did and then sat down to the meal. Someone commented that it was really sweet to have us hold hands. She replied that it was tradition in her family. She had several brothers and sisters and making them hold hands to say grace gave everyone an equal start at the food and no one was able to sneak a bite while all eyes were closed.
Huh?... holding hands is very normal thing during a food blessing. Has nothing to do with keeping people from starting eating early.
Not such a good idea in the current climate though.
Mer Maid In her family it seems to have had a double purpose. As a parent of 5, I thought it was hysterical and a good idea! My hubby had to make a rule that no one could take a bite u til mom took her first bite, otherwise I might miss out on the food and the feeding frenzy was a sight to behold. It’s just a way of teaching manners, don’t be a pig at the trough.
No, nononono. I despise holding hands to say grace. My hands are clean when I sit down to eat. I don’t want to hold someone else’s hand who might not have washed theirs well, if at all, before eating. I also hate people who know you coming up to your table while eating out and wanting to converse and possibly shake hands. I’m eating, don’t breathe on my food, and again, I don’t want to touch your possibly disgusting hands.
tammynwes Ok, good point! Especially these days!
I'm an American and yes we are loud, I dislike to talk when I'm eating and people's annoying kids running around.
Born in MASS Tea Party : my husband usually has his mouth full when they ask, so he just nods now. Much worse are those parents who let their unmannered children raise havoc (running around screaming, grabbing food off other people’s plates, and/or having a tantrum). Our (now grown) children knew that they better behave and so do their own children.
Oh man, I had the opposite prayer cross-continental issue! The first meal I ate with my Kiwi/Aussie in-laws, they didn't initiate any kind of prayer at dinner. Struck me odd, as most of them are members of christian churches, but no big deal to me. I made the sign of the cross and quickly blessed my own food (I'm orthodox) and got to eating. Suddenly, they are freaked out that they've been rude to ME, and my dear mum in law assures me that we can say grace if it'd make me more comfortable. I'm then trying to assure her that I'm always going to bless my food, but have no need for other people to pray about their food if that isn't what they'd normally do. Awkward 5 minutes!
LOL I'm an Irish-Catholic Australian, and we grew up in the 80s saying grace, usually only the Sunday dinner (roast, always a roast), Christmas and Good Friday, but that devolved into "2, 4, 6, 8, bog in don't wait" by the 90s, and then we just stopped. Haven't said grace in well over 20 years. Actually, that's a bit of a fib, went to a work Christmas party in 2017 and the General Manager was a devout Christian from South Africa, he got up and said grace at the start of the meal and it was deathly awkward, because no one in Australia ever said grace publicly outside of a church function, even when I was a kid, it was just not something that was done.
Good for you. As an nonreligious American I am still quite happy to see people observing their traditions but happier still to see them satisfied with performing them without imposing them on others.
Your mother-in-law sounds like a sweetheart and a very gracious hostess.
@Bernard Morey haha! I found myself doing a mental impression of an Aussie accent to try and make that rhyme. I think I got it? 😄
I've never prayed before a meal in the U.S. I've lived in Ohio, Virginia, and Illinois my whole life.
As a Catholic kid, I once said "Rub a dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah God." Unfortunately, my cousin (Sister Mary Michelle) was at the table. She called me a heathen and insisted I go to confession on the next Saturday and repent.
I’m an American, from the Midwest (MN) - my family isn’t religious & growing up, we never said “grace”. My first time experiencing it was with my ex’s extended family in Pennsylvania & they all held hands. He didn’t tell me about it prior to dinner, so it was quite awkward & surprising for me. He was equally as surprised when I asked him about it afterwards & told him I’d never seen/done that before 🤷🏼♀️
not even in movies?
my best friend growing up had religious family and I was having a meal at their place and didn't know what it was either! I felt kinda rude.
Same
Same
Is this why your ex is an ex?
Growing up in the fifties and early sixties, the US 'proper' etiquette for using the fork and knife was to cut with the knife in the right hand, fork in the left, then, once a piece was cut, lay down your knife, transfer the fork to the right hand, and then fork the morsel to your mouth. For each bite! My mom even had a book that explained it all, written by someone Calle Emily Post. When I was eight we moved (due to dad's job,) to what was then a Brit colony on the West side of the Pacific. So we quickly learned of the more efficient and less clattery way the Brits ate. (less clatter because you weren't putting your knife down with each bite.) I liked it much better. I also noticed that Australians used the knife to mash their peas on the back of the fork before putting the fork in the mouth. As a boy I thought that was very efficient.
Personally I found that that chopsticks were cleaner, less messy and more elegant. As long as the food was already cut up into bite sizes. My family always had huge honking slabs of meat, even in stew I had to cut the damn spuds and beef up to fit into my mouth. So no chopsticks there.
.
To the day she died my mom complained that no-one used proper eating etiquette any more. She referred to the way I preferred to hold my fork as a child as 'using it like a steam shovel'. "Don't hold your fork like a steam shovel."
That is still the proper way. It's just in our twerking, smorting de-evolved society, few care about etiquette.
@@TheRagingPlatypus Who defines proper? And what makes it proper?
@@minutemansam1214 who defines proper...it is a societal choice. What makes it proper?e. Semantic question. It's like the old addage...I can't define pornograpny but I know it when I see it.
@@TheRagingPlatypus if you eat by putting down your knife and swapping your fork between hands, you'd be thought of as a pig where I'm from (UK). A cack-handed, loud and clumsy way of eating.
Malarkey. First, mashing the peas ruins the experience of the pop in your mouth. Second, no one with manners chatters. You don't toss it down. Third, ever watch Chinese people eat with chopsticks...the epitome of not elegant.
I can't even tell you how many times the waitress has asked how everything tastes when I'm clearly still chewing my first bite. XD I mean I love the enthusiasm but let me chew!
The other fun one is when they come by and see three fourths of your plate is uneaten then ask, "Are you done? Can I take that for you?" If I *am* done after eating only 1/4 of my meal, that would say something pretty crappy about your food, wouldn't it?
You do know that literally everything in an American restaurant is reliant on you not ordering the third drink or desert, right? Seriously prohibition plagues the US to this day.
@@tejaswoman Like I said the restaurant industry is still stuck in the prohibition era because they don't have to pay their employees and make a few dollars extra.
Been to a British Wetherspoons? Company driven here as well.
I bet the "how's everything?" when you've just taken a bite is not an accident. They can be seen as attentive, but you are almost guaranteed to just give a thumbs up and not ask for anything, and they can move on quickly.
I'm American & remember a time when restaurants weren't so noisy... I find it very annoying myself. Higher end restaurants seem to be quieter for the most part, but honestly I almost never go out to eat anymore...
I looove when restaurants have a piano player
It has a lot to do with the style and construction of a restaurant, really. Consider a fast food restaurant or diner. Typically one large open space and everything is hard surfaces. So when people talk noise tends to bounce around. Add in a lot of people there at the time, each trying to be heard, and slowly ratcheting up the volume so their table mates can understand them over the babble and it gets pretty loud. Also it's culturally expected so people tend not to bat much of an eye.
In slower dining restaurants there is going to be a lot more noise-deadening fabric. Carpets on the floor, tablecloths, curtains and plants all around. It's fairly common such places to include other noise-dampening ideas too, like tall dividers between sections or deliberate noise-cancelling designs and materials. With less echoing and a culture that has people more keep their voices down they are a lot quieter.
I'm from the Netherlands, and from a Calvinist/protestant minority (approx 4-5% of pop) but we're used to pray for the blessing of the food before the meal (not holding hands or slaying a cross btw but with folded hands / intertwined fingers) and after the meal we read a chapter of the bible and ending the meal with a prayer in with we thank for the food and ask for a blessing for the rest of the day.
A few years ago I learned that holding utensils as in England, fork in left-tines down and knife in right, eating is much easier. I don't have to keep switching utensils in order to get the cutting done.
It's very common to cut up two or three bites worth, then switching and putting the knife down to eat. It seems a bit more relaxed to me, not always grasping both utensils as you eat, not needing to do work for each bite, and adds some pacing, kind of like breaks in between eating sessions. The 'cutting time' is also the time where you may ask a question, then start eating while listening to the answer.
@@pastacat5518 It's actually easier for me to eat as I use the fork and knife the way I do. I can keep my focus on my dinner companion just as well by not having to switch hands. To each his own.
@Jkinsg92 You're the one acting like a stuck-up man-child, I hate to tell you. "Waaah, I care so much about what everyone else does! I have a stick up my arse!"
People can eat whatever way they want. They can eat a steak with a spoon if they want, and then use said spoon to gather up all of your salty tears while you cry in the corner.
I always equated the dinner table with food, talking, and laughing.
The dinner table was for eating socializing and entertainment . It was expected to that you contribute to the conversation and provide amusing anecdotes To sit quietly and just listen is considered rude.
As an American, I hate, hate, hate it when people hold their cutlery with fisted hands. I feel like I'm eating with a caveman or with someone raised in a barn 😫
Edit: Guys, I don't openly tell people their way of holding cutlery bothers me. I would never do that to a guest or person I was eating out with. That's rude and none of my business. I just have a very human, moment's gut reaction of surprise when I first notice how they're holding their stuff, because I'm not used to it. But, my reaction doesn't go beyond that. I'm never attempting to make the other person feel bad with my subjective pov of how this type of table manner/etiquette should look like. My original comment was just a bit of late night hyperbole. That is all.
Why waste energy hating the way someone chooses to feed themselves? Doesn't hurt anyone.
@@ig7002 Because table manners still matter. I'm not preoccupying myself with thoughts of this pet peeve on the daily. It's just bewildering to see, because a significant enough number of people seem to do that here, but I also never saw that--except in children--until very recently. It just takes me aback, like if I were witnessing a strange phenomenon. We all have those things that cause that kind of emotion in us. Cutlery, apparently, is mine.
@@ig7002 because it looks repulsive, especially when I'm eating
This is the most cringe thing I've ever heard someone be bothered by.
@writerspen010 You’re not alone. I also cannot stand it! Whenever I see someone eating like that I can’t help but think to myself, “didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!” 🤦🏼♀️
You are cracking me up! This is great!
1. My mom wished we were British growing up in the early 80s - 90s. I was literally taught how to use cutlery the European way. So much so, that it was hard for me to learn the American way. But, let's be honest, American forks and knives are far less efficient. And my mom taught us to do it with "elegance".
2. I've seen praying in a number of ways. Mine was fairly subdued. German paternal background, mom wanting us to be British.
3. The restaurants are wild! I understand that there will be a variety of people and interactions at a restaurant. It's a trip sometimes! It's sometimes comparable to attempting to control the volume of students in a school cafeteria. Yikes, cafeteria duty is exhausting!
3. I've been a server. The biggest bummer was getting business men at lunch, the "Suits" or Europeans. Lol! Not sure about the suits, but we always knew people from other countries have a different culture around tipping. We never served them differently. We understood the cultural difference. The hourly rate for servers is still approximately $2.33/hr in my home city and state, in 2023.
Same as it was in 1993. Wow! That is why I teach my students to completely understand percentage. Lol!
Seriously though, my 25 year old daughter makes BANK as a server and bartender. She will have a hard time when she has to take jobs entry level in mental health because she's studying to become a licensed therapist at the University. Thus far she's paid for all of her classes and lives on her own.
4. I think your content is great. Furthermore I really appreciate that you state disclaimers of sorts before you share information. It is a very responsible way to share what you've experienced, despite being married into a US family. Sound data from a diverse and large sample with a specific hypothesis and experimental design is the "best" way we can examine differences or test a question. So, I legitimately appreciate your comments and appreciation of regional, personal, etc., differences. You don't broad stroke purposely in the least, yet you hit the nail on the head often. Well done!
Like my mother used to say, "your fork is not a shovel" and if I shut my eyes I can convince myself you are David Mitchell.
Jo Brand
So, how do you eat mashed potatoes or other soft foods?
@@sweetcanada17 yesss and rice
How do you eat rice or couscous or lentils and things like that?
Sweet Canada and Andrew--
Unless your mashed potato is disgusting, made from a supermarket packet and nearly liquid, same way. Mashed potato hangs together perferctly well to use a fork held in "knife and fork" position. Peas and lentils you squash a bit against the fork with the knife. If you have scored both peas AND mash, it is OK to glue the peas to the fork with the mash, again with the knife.
For a fork-only meal, the fork is held upside-down, as in the US, but higher levels of etiquette say don't swap hands. (Same with spoons and forks-don't swap hands if it is spoon-only). I suspect that because the upper class set the rules of etiquette, they set them to suit meat-eaters. Soft foods were for poor people without money or teeth. You eat your meat bit by bit, using knife and fork as you go, you don't chop it up in advance. And if your cook has made mashed potato, it will be of upper-class consistency, not peasant gruel.
Of course, if you've chopped all your food up first then abandoned your knife so you can swap hands and eat like a toddler, that doesn't work. In THAT case - -
"I eat my peas with honey, / I've done it all my life, / it makes the peas taste funny, / but it keeps them on my knife" 🙄😇
Come to think of it, Americans might not understand that, since they seem to put syrup or honey on everything, even "pancakes and bacon", and put the knife away, so would never have received a parental admonition not to lick their knife or use their fork like a shovel. (What a loss to humanity and culture!!! 😍)
biggest difference: in an American restaurant, they serve each diner a portion large enough to feed a small country, then ask if you want a takeaway box. in a UK restaurant, they serve you almost but not quite enough for you to feel stuffed, and when they say "fancy some dessert?" it's always, "why, yes, that would be lovely."
But you can't say thout about the Sunday Roast at a pub... I really really miss England. No sarcasm here.
@@casieperry9047 yeah, we had our sunday roast at a roastery. but everywhere else, there was always room for dessert.
Man I would love that. In America I always feel like I'm wasting food/money for not eating the mountain of food on my plate right away.
Even if I try to find the smallest possible thing on the menu, it ends up being bigger than my head
@@SpookyGhostpeppers it's simple. As for a doggie bag, and have the leftovers the next day.
I think it’s wasteful to serve more than a normal portion. All that food that goes back to the kitchen? Or taken home in a doggy bag to just be tossed out three days later. Not very environmentally conscious, if you ask me. Just serve a portion normal people can finish and tell them they can order free extra fries or rice or something. (My mother always told me to clean my plate and i still feel guilty when i can’t)
That way the guests might stay for desserts and coffee, and that’s a win-win, because more courses=more money.
I agree with you about the servers in the US... they are usually omnipresent or scarce... it’s quite rare to get one in between... I long for the days when the servers actually watched the tables and responded promptly to anyone needing something...
One time we were deserted by our waitress and my husband and son wanted coffee refills. My son could see the coffee station nearby and just got up and grabbed the pot himself. Needless to say there was a very small tip. One time we had a waitress take our order and then go on a break. We had to get the manager to get our food. My husband left one penny to show how the service was.
I didn't realize that is video is older so you may have already figured this out, but during the dinner prayer it's totally acceptable to look around the table to see who else doesn't have their eyes closed. It's kind of a family bonding moment/tradition.
I just found this older video too, and it's so funny. I thought it was only people in my family who did the looking around thing! FWIW, my family never said grace growing up, and very few of our friends' families did either. Only "very religious" people seem to say grace on the West Coast, or at least that was the case during my growing-up years. At some point, this norm seems to have shifted a bit, as public displays of religiosity became a form of virtue signalling (okay, this is my cynical, and admittedly agnostic take on it, YMMV). My brother started doing grace at holiday meals some years back, after he had kids and after our dad (and my brother's wife's dad) had both passed away unexpectedly. One time he really got over the top with it, and went on about how the two "grandfathers" were up in heaven looking down on us. My SIL's mom leaned over and whispered to me, "He'd better hope they're not, or they'd be yelling at him over this crap!"
aka the "which cousins are chill" glance
@@bradseeker or uncle/aunt
My wife and I grew up in different regions of the US, even different religions, and our families "said grace" before meals (although we just called it praying). All my extended family still does. 🙏
My brother always had his fork in a piece of food during prayer. We had a lazy susan and he would position it for a quick stab immediately at the end of the prayer.
I actually switch the fork to the left and use my knife in the right when doing heavy duty cutting. Then switch the fork to the right to transfer food to the gob. 🤣 I wonder if the volume of voices in American restaurants is due to the volume of the music. I always feel that I must raise my voice to be heard above it.
Yes and most of the time what songs are being played can't even quite be heard anyway. It's like listening to Charlie Brown's teachers sing in the background while you're trying to have a conversation. Personally I'd rather do without the music if it's just going to get into the way of friends having quiet conversations over dinner.
That is what I was taught, to switch. I learned later to hold my knife left handed. Or was it right? I don't even think about it any more. 😝🤔🤪
I live in England and I dont think I’ve ever heard music in a restaurant other than maybe some quiet instrumental background music but it’s not common
Being left handed has ONE perk- and that is using cutlery lmao 🤣 I have been told more than once how "proper" i use my cutlery lol
I'm glad I'm not the only one constantly switching which hand is holding my fork!
“I just sat there because I didn’t know what to do” yep you did the correct thing
Yep. Just sit there feeling awkward. That wasn't because you were British and new to it - it's like that for all of us.
One thing you’ve forgotten: in the U.K., we say waiters not servers 😂
The US says both? O.o
@@ElegantSkies we (US) used to say waiters or waitresses. In the last 20 years or so it's become server, in the US.
@@watcherwlc53 I never noticed 🤔
@@ElegantSkies could be regional
It was waiters and waitresses here in Australia when I worked in the industry, but the act is serving and that's a genderless time saver, so I completely get why the current term might be servers. As long as it doesn't become servants! 😁
Terminology changes are a natural thing in language. When I was young the people serving on aeroplanes were airhosts and hostesses, or air-stewards and air-stewardesses, it's so much quicker and easier to say flight attendant, but I often forget and call them Hosty's because I'm both Aussie and getting old! 😂
If a wait staff keeps bothering me, they get a less tip.
I'm here to eat the food, but my conversations and me eating my food, is my time. If I want something, I'll raise my hand.
I. Find it funny that they always ask about the meal when your mouth is full lol
Yes, the same school of humour as the darn dentists. Mouth full of their fingers and implements and they want to get chatty.
Lol to be fair, some servers do that because they don’t want you to be able to answer 😆
NOT funny; bloody annoying!
👍👍
My wife who’s an Anglican priest does a nice quick grace. “Lord thank you for this snack that keeps our belly from our back. Amen.” Job done! Lol
Two comments: Tipping and British accents. I worked as a guide in Alaska. Tipping is expected. But if you hear that British sound emanating from a pale Anglo mouth, you just do your job without hope. Once though three English women were on a tour in the wilderness to see bears, I actually found a few for them. (It doesn't always happen.) They had such a marvelous time. At the end as I was walking them to their ferry to get back to their cruise ship one woman said to me "We've heard we should tip. So the three of us pitched in and this is for you." She gave me a small wade of cash. Needless to say I was shocked. It would have been impolite to look to see how much in front of them, but suddenly I felt that all was right with the world. They hopped on the small boat and departed, confident that they had been the best of guests. I then braved a peek at the wad of sweet green cash. Three single dollar bills. (To be fair once and only once I did receive a twenty dollar bill from a Brit. It was such a scene of weeping and cultural reconciliation that the recent unfortunate events of 1776 were completely forgiven.)
Secondly: The fork is King.
Georgian Crossroads
Yes but I bet you didn’t pay your taxes with it
Most eating places in the UK add a 20% service charge to the bill anyway, this is the tip, plus the UK minimum wage is a lot higher than the US..
That service charge is 1) absolutely NOT “most places” and 2) ALWAYS voluntary and near-universally declined.
It’s sad you thought all was right with the world when they tipped. All is right when you get paid properly and don’t rely on literal begging.
I was raised as Roman Catholic in New England. Although we didn't pray over every meal, some did, but we did pray at special meals, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I haven't said Grace in a very long time. The one we would say was "Bless us, oh Lord, for these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive, through Thy Bounty, in Christ the Lord. Amen." I don't know if everyone says that, but that was the only one we ever said. One of my friend's families went around the table at Thanksgiving and each person would fill in what's going on in their life and what they are thankful for. I think that's a quite lovely idea since you don't see some people that often.
The bit about the way British people hold their knife and fork was surprisingly eye-opening to me. We go to my aunt’s family’s house for holiday dinners (not really my aunt, she’s my mother’s best friend and we’ve known each other’s families for so long that I just refer to them as my family), and one year I noticed one of my cousins cutting into his meat this way and I noticed how much more efficient it looked than the way I’d been taught to hold utensils. Now I realize it’s because his grandfather is English (came to the U.S. when he was about ten years old, he’s since lost his accent so sometimes I forget about that), and that’s just the way they’ve learned to hold their utensils.
Proper etiquette has been lost in the pond for many Americans.
@@jordanhenderson3812 I generally despise most kinds of etiquette, or doing things just for the sake of being "polite". Some people think I'm rude to not partake in certain kinds of etiquette, but I've always thought it was rude for other people to care so much about what I'm doing. There are one's I understand like eating with your mouth open, since many people find that gross. But why do you choose to make it your business how I hold my utensils? I find things like that so odd.
@@jordanhenderson3812 Except that, like most customs/etiquette, the American style was born out of the European style at the time it came across the pond and went in different directions after because the popularity of the fork was not common until the late 18th century - around the time of the war. So refer to his other videos where he discusses the same thing with the 2 countries going in different directions based sometimes on nothing but pure disdain for the other at the time.
Southerners in America are a whole different breed than the north
Claire Y are they? I wonder how so...I’m honestly curious.
@@DSkye-n7m - The Bible Belt.
Curious exactly how you mean? I'm born and raised Southern, but half my family is from up North, and I am likely to agree same as disagree lol.
@@rylian21 But how does that impact the behaviors being discussed? A friend moved back to Kentucky after decades in SF to help his elderly parents. He said everyone there was very courteous, very helpful, and dumb as a box of rocks.
@@rylian21 Lol...you just showed how ignorant you are. Yes, there are SOME Southerners who "stoopid" at a level that defies explanation...but I have met ample ppl in many other places all over the U.S. that could just as well apply to. There will always be those "shining examples" in virtually any area.
Mexican viewer here. At least in my family we use the "European" utensil etiquette (I thought that was the only way). In Mexico we also do something called "sobre mesa" which is just sitting around after you're done eating, waiting for your food to go down a little. It is actually frustrating when we go to the US because the waiters expect you to leave the moment you're done eating, or so it seems. We might not talk much during the meal but during the sobre mesa the most interesting conversations ever take place. Also, we don't like noisy people in restaurants and that comes from someone who lives in the north, we are generally considered louder than central or southern Mexicans.
I'm Australian, and while we don't have a term for it, most of us also do something like "sobre mesa"... Maybe even have another drink, etc... It's very confronting the way American servers tend to INSTANTLY clear plates away; even more so when they clear some people's plates before everyone at the table is finished.
Yes in n Australian restaurants it is not unusual to stay for an hour or more after finishing your meal. The talking and conversation tends to happen afterwards while during the meal it is pretty quiet.
It's due to restaurants in the US being tip dependent. Once you're done leave so they can sell more and make more money. Unless you want to double what you would have tipped. Especially during prime dinning times.
As an American, I cannot stand when servers clear plates away when not everyone is done at the table. It always feels like they are rushing us out to turn tables so a new set of diners can come in and they will get more tips. This does not always happen though, especially at nicer restaurants. It is refreshing when we are in Europe or another country and no servers are constantly checking in or rushing us.
Bernal M same here!
Kind of relevant, I remember I (with three others) was in a lodge in Italy and there was a large group of Italians loudly engaged in conversation. When the hostess announced the 'antipasti' or communal dishes that everyone gets beyond the personal choices, they all instantly became quiet and paid attention. After that, quiet conference on what to get, then loud conversation. AS SOON as one table got their first antipasti, it was back to quiet eating. Kind of wished I understood Italian but an absolutely fascinating and delicious experience.
Tipping in the UK is more like “keep the change”
When I was younger I thought that’s what tipping was in the USA as well.
not really - its 10-30 % of the bill .... but unlike America you don't have to tip in the uk And MOST places don't carry a service charge like America . In America - some places pay shitty wages far below our minimum wage which is LAW for all industries here . EGO and social status is derived in huge amounts in the USA ( culture ) via tipping but not so much in the UK
Worth noting that generally, the price of food in your typical restaurant in America is X cheaper than in comparison to the UK. A meal out in the UK is more of a treat, a special occasion. Once a month maybe? In America it’s often just what you do multiple times a week. Unless your wealthy, nobody in the UK could afford to eat out especially as a whole family to replace the normal evening meal. So tipping in America makes more sense aside from the staff wages, but in the UK you are already paying a high price for the food and drink. So the concept of tipping, adding even more to a bill seems to us Brits pretty crazy. It is polite to leave a tip of course, more often than not the service isn’t great, and if it is you’ve likely paid a lot for what you had. Hence reach for the change!
@@Anakinuk007 Everything that you have said applies to Australia as well.
@@nariter some Americans think that too. -_-
John Cleese said his inspiration for Basil Fawlty was when he was eating dinner with American Terry Gilliam at a hotel in Torquay. The rude hotel owner got very offended by the way Terry was using his utensils!
Re: the server checking "how are you doing?"
There's an element of common law regarding "innkeepers" that says that if the customer isn't satisfied with the service provided, he has no obligation to pay for it. Having the server check back with the customer gives them an opportunity to mention any shortcomings in the food or service. When it comes time to pay, the customer can't avoid paying if they have raised no objections to that point.
I'm not a lawyer, but I did take Business Law about 50 years ago, so base your comments on that.
Being a member of the LDS (Mormon) Church, we have always said a blessing on the food. My wife is from the Philippines, but I met her in the UK in Norwich ( she also is an LDS member), I met her at church there. Every time we went to dinner with other Filipinos (LDS or other beliefs) we always said a blessing. It’s cultural I guess.
My family (Christian) is from Florida and California. We "say grace" before most meals, but not by that term. We'll say, "let's thank God for the food," and one person will say a short prayer aloud -- then right after the "amen," it's fine to start eating. Or in a situation where people are eating already, it's expected that individuals joining the table will quietly say thanks before digging into the food. I like how this tradition sort of marks a "start" of the meal instead of having to watch for other cues as to when it's okay to take that first bite.
In the UK it was common to say grace up until maybe the 60s.
Most people just said " For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us
truly thankful Amen" It seems to have died out along with so many other good
traditions, in the changes and lack of respect issued in the last 70 years.
Or you could just say "bon appetite" or similar.
I had the same experience with the whole "grace" thing as an exchange student (I'm Australian. We're not particularly known for doing the grace thing here.)
My host family did it, they even went to church on sunday mornings, even though they weren't particularly devout "believers".
There seems to be an entire culture based around "being seen to be " over "actually being."
As an "American" that's what makes me the most annoyed, people who do stuff just to be seen as doing it.
My parents do this but more for the reason that, ‘I haven’t really focused on God lately this week, I’ll go to church Sunday to at least get the gospel.’
Some of the heavier religious areas really influence pressure on not going to church and stuff. But it's becoming a lesser problem nowadays. Majority nowadays seem to not care as much about going to church unless you're truly religious, I think it may be due to the newer generations vs older generations. My great grandma and grandpa were way more religious than my grandma and grandpa. My mom and all her siblings never go to church but believe in god. My siblings and I give 0 ducks about any of it. This seems to be on trend with all my friends as well.
That's a very accurate assessment of a large portion of American Christians
You are hanging around with the wrong people.
Your entries are irreverent and kind simultaneously. Thanks.
I used to enjoy not warning friends about the vigorous greetings (hand shakes, cheek pinching and kissing and back patting in a hug) received upon arrival to an Italian & Italian-American dinner. The greeting lined formed and the guests were sort passed down the line. Non-Italians arrived at the end looking dazed. That’s how they entered a very lively dinner. A Brit might have imploded. Love your posts!
This expat Brit (Roman!!!) loves it. We were only permitted to drink French Champagne, never Asti or Prosecco. Guess which I buy now...
My family were old Americans of British Isles stock. We hug and kiss arriving and leaving. My husband's family was very stand-offish. At first he was embarrassed, but after about a year he became an enthusiastic hugger like the rest.
You have a wonderful brain and great openness in your thinking. I am surely a misplaced Brit. I am obsessed with British Medieval history. I literally grew up in professional theatre ( had to get rid of southern accent at age 9) and I swear to you, somehow, I understood Shakespeare from the start. Love you people!
I wish there were more quiet restaurants in America. I hate eating in loud places.
Right now they're pretty dang quiet. Too bad ya can't go.
Or when someone has their cellphone on speaker and you REALLY don't want to hear it
@@craigslater2321 It depends on the restaurant. I hate when people have loud ringtones, I really hate that. Phones vibrate for a reason. Or people give their kids a game to play or something and the volume is all the way up and the parents do nothing about it. Recently, I was at a restaurant, and sitting not far from a family, and their youngest daughter would just randomly scream, not like cry, I mean literally *scream* they'd apologize and try to prevent it from happening but it's still like, really? If you know your kid will scream don't take them to a restaurant, you don't know if someone may have sensitive hearing or what. That goes with fork scrapers too. Some people scrape their forks ridiculously loud sometimes.
@@sallyphillips9175 They're quiet, but so is the kitchen
I wish they were more quiet too. I also wish restaurants were better lit. Low light gives me headaches. It seems like middle priced restaurants are always low lighting. Cheap places have better lighting and expensive places depends on what type of atmosphere they try to project. But those sit down, average priced places always have low lighting with a yellow tint.
You see...... In Romania we say "grace" (thank you God for the meal) at the end, when we finished eating.
I’m Faroese, and “saying grace” is somewhat common with Faroese families. My friend’s family used to _sing_ grace. Was really awkward for me, because I don’t sing and his entire family are choir singers.
That sounds pretty cool - wish I could hear them!
I've never met anyone with your nationality! interesting stuff
@@May-gr8bp Have you ever heard the Faroese singer, Eivor? She sings in Faroese and English. Faroese is the purest form of language spoken by the Vikings. When she sings with throat singing and a drum, in "Trollabunden" it's riveting!
I grew up saying grace in Texas. I think singing grace sounds beautiful, especially in Faroese, which is a very lovely sounding language. My family is Norwegian-American, so we have Norwegian prayers that we say at the table before a meal.
Off subject but here’s a shoutout for your glasses. The shape is great. I swore I wouldn’t wear large glasses again (I was there for an earlier iteration 40 years ago) but now I’m thinking maybe I could wear these now.