Lmao I did that too 😂 and I thought that when the kids said they had crushes they were just lying 😂 I figured we’d get real crushes when we got into highschool but that never happened for me 😂
Picking a crush is an acespec canon event 😭I usually just picked a squish (“i want to be friends with them and get to know them? Must be love in the air”)
Honestly this entire story is just a mood I'm glad you are no longer torturing yourself in romantic relationships, here pick a prize from the prize box
I remember coming out to my mother- I looked at her while we were cleaning and she look at me dead in the eye and said “oh yeah me too” I WAS IN SHOCK😭
As a fellow aromantic person, the comp allo is so real. All of my crushes and relationships were forced and I was miserable but I didn’t realize why until I allowed myself to not fit into that standard. Now I’m happier than ever and in a qpr :3
It took me awhile to understand i was bisexual. I was raised to believe anything out of the expected norm was a sin so if I felt any queerness I blocked it out and denied it for myself. When I started to remove myself from toxic Christianity I was able to explore my identity without anything holding me back. I never felt any doubt to my attraction to men. I always have had intense crushes on men. Then one day I realized none of my crushes had sexual attraction and I was ace. I then started to question if I was also aromantic. I'm autistic so relationships and social rules are hard. I knew I loved being in queerplatonic relationships with any gender and liked to do romantic stuff with any gender. I then found the term nebuloaromantic and I realized why friendships and romantic relationships felt nearly the same. I am a s3x favorable asexual and I do desire intimacy. I don't really vibe with the term biromantic, I feel more understood when I describe myself as just bisexual. Then maybe if i get really close to a person I can explain i don't feel sexual attraction but I am interested in fun times in bed. Don't even get me started on my gender thats another essay
You’re so lucky to have your mum, I’m lesbian and coming out was really hard for me. She still doesn’t understand why I don’t like me. My story of realising I was a lesbian isn’t that out of the ordinary, I went through a bi phase but ended out going to fill way through. My friend was going on at me about her new boyfriend and how attractive he is (I did not find him attractive one bit). She said ‘we need to get you a boyfriend!’ And I turned to her and said ‘no’ and walked away 😂.
Now that I'm watching this video over again, I think I might be on the aromantic spectrum as well. I had the same experience as you where I kind of just decided I liked someone and then realized that it wasn't for me. I definitely do want to experience romantic things though. UPDATE: I've recently figured out that I am aroace, cupioromantic, sex repulsed and bi. I'm also genderfaun and transmasc🙂
REALIZATION STORY!!! I'm genderfluid. And I never really realized it until like a few weeks ago. I was always happy being a little cis girl, until I wasn't. I thought I was a trans man, then I thought, but I really like being a girl too. Then I thought, but my boobs make me so uncomfortable, and my hair is so long and girlish, and my voice is so high-pitched. Then I thought, why is my gender chaning so much, and BOOM. I realized I was genderfluid. Also, I might be ace?
I was like, ‘But I really feel like a guy and my breasts give me disphoria - but- sometimes I like my breasts? Also, I don’t want to be a guy for my entire life? Why do I have to choose??’ I’m specifically bi-gender. I thought I wasn’t anything because I thought I had to also be non-binary sometimes to be gender-fluid.
I've never really struggled with my identity as queer, I've known it for a long time and it really hasn't gotten in the way of my life. I'm a bisexual woman, I love both men and women and I'm okay with that.. but one thing about my identity that really sucks is that I'm a complete sex-repulsed asexual but I am EXTREMELY alloromantic and really want a romantic relationship. My asexuality polarizes with my alloromanticism that it is incredibly difficult to find others the same as me, especially with men. I also have BPD as well so it has caused a lot of avoidance and paranoia like "what if nobody will love me if I don't want to be sexually intimate with them?". The only person I felt secure with my identity was my ex-gf, but she cheated on me so after that it has been really hard.
Oh, I'm very sorry that happened to you. :( I know how that feels (the paranoia part), and I just want to let you know that you're really strong, valid, and welcome here, and I hope you do well in the future! Have a great pride month. :]
The “telling myself I like someone” thing is so relatable for me! I’ve been convincing myself for years that I’ve been having romantic feelings for people and I’ve never had up to like a month ago or so when I caught feeling for a friend. Also gender be confusing- I tell people I’m a woman because I don’t want to explain being a genderfluid demi girl.
Happy pride month! This is a little bit of my story, I found out I was bisexual after I fell in love with my best friend (Ik it’s a little ew and cringe) because for a time they were the only ones that truly gave two craps about me and Idk I just fell in love with that fact and quickly I started seeing them as more (they didn’t feel the same but still kept me as their best friend.) I officially came out as bi to my mother over an year ago and my father just an year ago. I haven’t felt right in my body for a while (basically since puberty which was quite early for me) and now have started to question my gender, I think I am Transmasc and have amazing support. I have also been to Mardi Gras with my mother and it was amazing, I met others like me and that made me honestly accept that I might be Transmasc, I have now just recently starting presenting myself as more masculine and I love it. I am starting to question if I am possibly on the aroace spectrum, as I don’t like the idea of sexual intimacy. I am perfectly fine with romantic stuff but the idea of someone touching me like makes me wanna throw up, I am also Autistic, I have sensory issues and hate physical touch so if it’s just that or I am possibly on the aroace spectrum but older me can find that out.
i've been identifying as demisexual and demiromantic for several years, but i used to think i was fully asexual because i didn't want to do the sex. i later learned that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily line up with what you would be willing to do in practice, and because i'd had those feelings about guys who were close to me, i couldn't have been fully ace. and also in like 2018 i started to feel like maybe I would want to actually "do things" irl with someone i'd had a crush on since 2014 (they never liked me back yeah i know im pathetic lol). so i figured out i was demi because maybe it just takes me a really long time of knowing and trusting someone (or at least feeling emotionally attached for a long time) to consider someone in That Way. and then i realised im the same way with romantic attraction, never thinking romantically about strangers or mere acquaintances, except i'm much more romance-favourable whereas i'm sex-ambivalent. it's kinda in the neutral range like sex-indifferent except while indifference is purely neutral, ambivalence contains many mixed feelings about it, and for me it's been complex internal struggles about not knowing if i'd ever be okay with That Activity. a term that i relate to but don't know if it's true of me because of lack of experience, is lithsexual/akoisexual (there's discourse on which word to use but IIRC they're the same thing in meaning). it's when you feel sexual attraction but it goes away when the person you like that way reciprocates it or makes moves on you. and tbh i don't want it to be true of me. it would be a curse. i want a lasting relationship, not a series of strong unrequited crushes that either fade away or end with an intense feeling of discomfort any time someone finally likes me back. but i have no way of knowing if it's true because in my 26 years of life i've only had one and a half non-platonic relationships, the first being at age 16 with my equally socially awkward ex boyfriend whose kisses tasted like the smells of wet dog and that patch of carpet behind my grandma's sofa that 7 year old me dumped milk on every day for a month without being found out,, and the half a one being at age 24 with an online friend living across the globe who's afraid of commitment so we were only ever friends with benefits until he randomly got over me and i didn't until recently. Both relationships featured me having feelings for the guy but massive nervousness when sexual talk ever came up. but idk. interestingly my current crush probably holds the record for fastest i've ever fallen for someone since meeting them, clocking in at an impressively tiny 3 months. the friend who introduced me to him made a joke about all of us "in a cuddle pile" in a flirting with platonic intentions way, and while she's a woman and i'm not into women like that, i suppose he on the other hand just got mentally unlocked as an Option in that moment, at first as a joke, but then i guess he just has such good vibes that i genuinely didn't mind that idea, and eventually fell for him and confessed. and in a sad irony, he's way more demi than me, describing himself as almost fully ace. 😔 dammit the one time i fall for someone who also likes to take it slow, my feelings take it fast. smh. i consider myself attracted to men and masculine nonbinary people i guess? like i wouldn't say androsexual cos trans women are still women to me and i'm like nah girl youre just bestie material. but that person i liked from 2014-2019 came out as non binary in like 2018 and i still loved them for a solid year until some unrelated stuff happened and i moved on. like i'd been attracted to them for their personality (or what i'd thought was their personality 😬) for 4 years, i wasnt gonna stop because their gender was actually something else. and i've never had a full crush on a trans man yet but it could definitely happen, who knows! anyway, androgynous bodied men with cute faces and long hair, awooga, but personality completely overrules that for me. another demi thing, yippee. as for gender, i've always considered myself a girl/woman and had no problem with that or she/her pronouns, but i recently have been toying with the idea that i'm not Just a woman. like i've always been hella gender non conforming, but for a year or two i've been secretly thinking "according to the way i act, dress, and think, i'm probably non binary af, but woman is just easier because i don't have a problem with it and i don't have to explain myself". i didn't think any "neutral" gender identity suited me tho because my gender isn't somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, but rather, different aspects of my personality are scattered all over the place like that one political compass chad meme i found. for example my pronoun/word/name preference is feminine in most cases, my lack of what men call "women logic 🙄" is very masculine, my desire to be "pretty" is feminine but my desire to be "cute" is a wholesome friend shaped squishy non binary creature and my desire to Not be "sexy" is a genderless void that hates being perceived,,,, my dress sense is usually masc-neutral but sometimes feminine or all over the place at once, the way i carry myself tends to be masculine, and my hobbies, beliefs, and fears are also scattered all over the place in terms of the gender they feel like. but i'd always just said i'm a woman because i think those things don't make me any less of a woman. so when a few weeks ago i was browsing the gender wiki thing for original character research, i saw bigender, and i already knew what that was cos i have a friend who is simultaneously female and male, but it prompted me to think more about it in regards to the character i was making and myself, because i realised that just cos i'm a woman doesn't mean that i can't be other things as well. like being other things doesn't have to partially unwoman me. anyway it only took me a few seconds to realise i wasn't bigender because it's not just two of them. trigender wasn't it either because i identify with more than just one flavour of nonbinary. polygender didn't feel right because it was defined as "many genders" and i don't think it's That Many, so I settled on multigender, which is an umbrella term for having more than one gender, but can also be used as a label on its own. for me it's like, "female, male, and a small but unknown number of non binary identities" and i think that works pretty neat as a label i can describe myself with around queer people i'm close to, but for the vast majority of people i think it doesn't matter nearly enough to officially label myself anything other than a woman. that's just easier, and nobody i interact with actually assumes all women are 100% feminine all the time, so people don't have Expectations for me and my gender wouldn't negatively impact the way they understood me as a person. anyway yea, sorry, i accidentally an essay. happy pride. yippee
Honestly your part of figureing that your aromantic was super relatedable for me! I'm aromantic romance repules as well and I through a very samiler experience of just picking a random boy from class parenting to have a crush on this guy and just stare at him all throughout class waiting to be hit with cupid's arrow and also stumbling into 2 different relationships with old close friend, basically saying "I love you" and me saying "I love you to" thinking they meant it platonicly and not romantically and then making dial up noises when they tried to flirting with me and standing there like "o k a y 🧍♀️" Also amazing thumbnail
I´m a non-binary , aroace person. And know that I think about it, I ´ m actually starting questioning it , for one their is a really pretty girl (lets call her A) , and I think I have a crush on A. But My crushes never last long lol , I´m so confused . But I´ve always hated being a girl , it was so uncomfortable for me , but then I found out the term NON-BINARY , something clicked in my head.
Woah, I already knew I was aro (demi/gray) but I thought I was romance positive cause I think a relationship would be cool. This helped me remember the fact that when people say they like me or even give a hint that they might I am very very repulsed... maybe I'm actually romance repulsed as well
The stupid thing about realising I was aromatic, was that I would out loud say to my partners “I’m probably aromatic, my attraction to you guys doesn’t really go further then a close platonic bound” and yet I still was completely convinced I was bisexual.
Alright, I’ll spill a little in honour of gay month! I’m an unlabelled pansexual who might be on the aromantic spectrum! Essentially my gender is an abstract mess I can’t make sense of (and my pronoun preference changes on a dime) so I stick with unlabelled. Found out I was bisexual because I find women and men really hot. I’m questioning for aromanticism because I realised I have to force myself to love people, play a part basically. The most convincing act I put up was dropped in an instant when I realized the relationship couldn’t happen. I don’t think people are supposed to get over their loves in the course of ten minutes, so it makes me wonder why I’m that way. I don’t know, that specific one was weird. It was with a best friend I found very hot. Eventually I confessed to them and we started a relationship. I thought the feelings were real, I was obsessed with this person and thought about them often. I wanted them to be mine. But I rarely hung out with them, and was stir crazy from COVID lockdowns. They were the only friend I kept through that. Once I found other friends I hung out with my partner less. When I realised I wouldn’t move out with them, it was like a switch flicked and I suddenly didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t in love, just like that. I forced myself to care all through that, insisting they were what I was missing and could complete me, but through that I became disillusioned with the person and fell in love with the idea. Then I broke free. Every other relationship I’ve had has been purely for show, or to not hurt someone’s feelings. They’ve felt more like “social commitments” than meaningful relationship.
I always knew I was ace, ever since the idea was introduced. I was about 10 when I found I was bi, and spent the next 3-4 years having a gender identity crisis.. yay… and then I was like “screw it” and found that I was Apagender. Happy gay month 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
you said we could share our experience and since I figured out what I identify with coincidentally today I’m gonna share! today I have figured out I am Omni-sapphic!! meaning I’m attracted to all genders but my attraction is prioritized towards women/women alligned nonbianary! I hope that makes sense. if not, I don’t mind explaining more! my whole journey of sexuality ive always had people tell me “your pansexual.” Or “you lesbian.” but I am not. I hate how normalized it is for people to try to fit us in little boxes because those labels make more sense to them. I am omni-sapphic and proud >:) I’ve always known I was fruitier than a fruit snack, but I also knew I’m attracted to other genders too, so for my whole time of trying to figure it out I went back in forth from bi to lesbian many many many many times. sorry the formatting of this comment is wack by the way aaaaa
... FINALLY! Someone that feels the same way I do! Being Aromantic is difficult because I explain to my mom that I hate the idea if romance- I'm fine watching things with small bits of romance but otherwise I'm heavily repulsed. I'm the type of person that I like to have friends, but I HATE having friends that have a bond past the "Worker friend who only has small convos", I can't explain it- I like being social but at the same time I absolutely despise it! Plus, I realized I'm on the nonbinary spectrum somewhere- Still don't know exactly where but I'm there lol. I am Abrosexual-Lesbian, which means that my gender attraction can vary over time, but I have a preference for women the majority of the time. I wouldn't say I'm Poly, but I like the aspects of it, actually being in a poly relationship is a whole other ordeal (I've been in one before) It doesn't help that all the relationships that I've been in the past were toxic which makes me romance and very rarely sexually repulsed. Plus, My severe mental health helps nothing T^T. Having BPD is fun (sarcastic)
my sexuality realization story was actually very similar. when i was about 12-13 i just sorta had a realization one day that i wouldnt mind dating someone the same or oposite gender as me and went with bi which i stuck with for a very long time, only a year ago realizing i was pan. My gender however, was a totally different story haha When i was probably about 13-14 i started thinking more about my gender. I started wishing i could just change my gender sometimes. Sometimes i would get gender dysphoria, sometimes it wasnt all that strong. at 15-16 i started experementing with male pronouns (im AFAB) but after a while i went back to female ones because i just didnt feel comfortable with it. But then i was uncomfortable with female pronouns. I quietly experemented with the genderqueer label and eventually at 18 i've came out as genderfluid, although i seem to be very male leaning. I use He/They pronouns most of the time and it seems like a lot of my fluidity is actually my gender expression rather than my gender itself. Very rarely am i just they/them and i havnt been a she/her in a very long time, it just doesnt feel right to be called that. I'm very confortable with the genderfluid label since it gives me a lot more space to breath. It took a long time, lots of research and way too many sleepless nights but it was all worth it to know what i am. Not everyone finds importance in labels and i totally get it!! but for me it has helped SO much with my identity to finally have a label that explains what goes on in my brain haha
I'm a bi-aroace (angled aroace) i am demiromantic and grey-asexual that uses both aroace and angled aroace terms, i am not bisexual but a biromantic, most of the times i wouldn't mind having queerplatonic relationship since romantic attraction takes a bit longer for me, i am romance favorable when i feel romantic attraction, but romance indifferent when i don't, i am sex-neutral but not wishing to be in a sexual relationship at all. So yeah tell me about confusion with being aromantic or asexual cause it took me a while to figure out i was demiromantic due to me denying it through the years then it was with me being asexual.
i finally had time to watch this, all i want to share is i took this random test for funsies and it told me i was Undifferentiated-Androgynous, stil don't really know what that means
I slowly went through the process of realizing I was non-binary. First I identified as a demigirl who went by she/they pronouns, then I preferred they/them pronouns more than she/her, so then I was a demigirl who went by they/she pronouns. Then I was like “y’know, enby all the way!” And identified as non-binary but still let people who were close to me call me she/her. Then I said “ew I hate being a girl” so then I threw those pronouns away. Now I identify as non-binary and abroromantic and go by they/them pronouns :)
As an AFAB tRaNsNeUtRaL I didn't have my moment of realization until after like 2 years of having my hair cut short and multiple ppl mistaking me for a boy and myself just laughing and actually experiencing Gender euphoria lmao. The worst part is- I'm so gay that I experience aLl GeNdErS pOsSiBlE (pangender joke slae)
Happy pride month! I’ve just recently discovered the fact that I’m aromantic and this video honestly helped me feel more comfy with labeling myself like that. For a bit there I felt like I wasn’t a ‘true’ aro because I still feel seggual attraction and you made me feel 10x more valid😭 thank you
maybe i am aro idk cuz ive never felt relationships as something i strive for, more as something i feel like i need to want to fit in like i have had crushes before and ppl ive constantly thought of but whenever i do i feel disgusted by myself and almost hate it and the thought of getting married or a long term just doesnt sit right with me i do want a relationship but it to be more of like friends with benifits rather than really serious
I am a romantic-repulsed aro too!! But I never want to be in a relationship, and I do not wish to be alloro in any way. I am just not into that... I am also nonbinary and enjoy being a "gender cryptid." I go by they/them, she/her, and he/him pronouns.
Hey when you said your gender wildly switched it kinda reminded me of my gender which is gender faun which is kind of like gender fluid but only between non binary and male and not on the female side of things, but you could be what I think is called gender faye? It’s the opposite where your gender is fluid between fem and nonbinary also look it up if that seems like something that might be helpful
I am still super confused about my sexuality but I believe I’m Demiromantic, abroromantic/biromantic and asexual as well as a bigender person(agender+transmasc but not trans male Ik it’s confusing)
Hey man!(I hope man is ok I use it as a genderneautral term!) I'm a afab genderfluid teen, and I honestly have a lot of feelings about my gender, I honestly feel like a terrible person if I say I'm trans because I'm lucky enough to still identify with my agab, and I do like identifying with it a good bit, honestly some times I gaslight myself saying I'm not trans because of that, I'm not exactly sure why I'm commenting this other then I hope there might be someone that pops up here relating.
Thank you for sharing. /gen I've been going through something similar lately, so I can relate. Just know you're valid and welcome here. :] (And yes, man is fine and I like it being used to refer to me. :])
@@rottika Thank you so much, it means so much to me someone else understands, I know no genderfluid people only normal trans people, and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that, I just feel really lonely, especially when the only genderfluid famous people I know about use pretty much only they/them which theres absolutly nothing wrong with that, it's just I like to use all pronouns in a day. So just, yeah, thank you so much. :)
I can relate to your Sam experience, in junior high I started dating one of my close friends. And let's just say it didn't work out. I’ve been questioning if I’m some form of aromantic for a long time. So it's very helpful hearing others' experiences and thought processes. I’ve found that most of my “romantic” attraction is towards my friends. So it's more platonic than romantic, I just wanna have friends I'm super close with lol.
I've been confused about my sexuality for awhile and I'm still trying to figure it out. I go by the term asexual but I don't know if that term really fits me. I like some men romantically but not sexually. I kind of like women sexually, but I wouldn't do anything sexual with another woman. I don't know if I would date (or be romantically involved with) another woman. I'm probably somewhere on the ace spectrum, maybe also aro.
A fellow aroace questioning person here. But lets start with gender Im likely gender-fluid because sometimes I feel like a boy sometimes a girl sometimes even neighter I changes in usually in a few weeks of time or less or more. My sexuality is right now ace mostly because the idea of s€x makes me shiwer and repulsed when I was younger even kissing scenes made me feel this way soo Im likely s€x repulsed ace person. With romance I like the idea of it with mostly woman idk the idea of runnig away and having a shaphic relationship seems good/fun/cute makes me feel warm inside sort of. But for now I don't think I want to be in a relationship or anything just don't feels ready. edit1:sorry for the broken english sometimes
Do you have any tips on self discovery? I honestly have little to no idea what i am but I don't think im straight. Literally every queer person i know already knows what they are and i feel sort of left out because of it. I feel a need ro force a label on myself because i hate not having one. Honestly it makes pride month more painful for me because i don't know what side im on
Hey, you don't need to have a definitive label to be valid or to celebrate pride month. :] As someone still kinda figuring things out, I know how it feels sometimes not having a proper word to describe your identity, or not yet fully identifying with one thing or another. I would recommend taking things slow and not worrying too much about the label itself, perhaps just say that you're questioning/curious until you have more of a handle on how you feel! Regardless, you're valid and welcome here and I wish you luck on figuring things out!
im sorry but your polyam vs open relationship definitions aren't really right, a person dating multiple people separately is also polyamory, and a relationship where everyone is dating each other is a rare type of polyamorous relationship known as a triad relationship I believe, and an open relationship is similar but they only really have sexual relationships with other people outside their main relationship but anyway, rlly great video! happy pride month
I'm ace spec and I would always randomly pick a person to "be attracted to" in school and say to my friends "omg they're totally so hot" and never feel that way.
Artists seem to be the most consistent type of people to recognize their weirdness and use it to their advantage. Ask anyone else and it's just difficulty tweak minefield, there's no benefit to being alien. I for sure most consistently ruin all kinds of relationships and my most unfortunate trait is overbearing sexuality with no filter and lack of commitment to anything (ADHD perhaps?). Being a whore with a computer is how I describe myself the past week.
I would donate because i have 90+ dollars, but i can't because Im to young ( 13+ ) but i really hope you can raise enough money for your therapy and surgery bills!! And happy gay month :) *read more*
Don’t know if I’m grey romantic or a-romantic. As most of the time I don’t experience romantic attractions to people and the rare times I do would only probably be for like every 2/10 people I meet. However I do still experience romantic attraction in general and want that kind of romantic-intimacy. Also romantic movies kind of bore me and kind of don’t depending on what mood I’m in?🫤
fellow aro here! jaiden's video also made me realize i was aro- the whole randomly picking a crush bit was wildly on point 😭👍
Me too ! During the whole video I was like « OMG THAT’S ME »
Same
Lmao I did that too 😂 and I thought that when the kids said they had crushes they were just lying 😂 I figured we’d get real crushes when we got into highschool but that never happened for me 😂
Picking a crush is an acespec canon event 😭I usually just picked a squish (“i want to be friends with them and get to know them? Must be love in the air”)
Fellow nonbinary here,gender is really hard sometimes
Also happy pride month!!
VERY true
Honestly this entire story is just a mood
I'm glad you are no longer torturing yourself in romantic relationships, here pick a prize from the prize box
the whole "picking some random classmate of the opposite gender as a crush" thing hits really close
I remember coming out to my mother- I looked at her while we were cleaning and she look at me dead in the eye and said “oh yeah me too” I WAS IN SHOCK😭
As a fellow aromantic person, the comp allo is so real. All of my crushes and relationships were forced and I was miserable but I didn’t realize why until I allowed myself to not fit into that standard. Now I’m happier than ever and in a qpr :3
It took me awhile to understand i was bisexual. I was raised to believe anything out of the expected norm was a sin so if I felt any queerness I blocked it out and denied it for myself. When I started to remove myself from toxic Christianity I was able to explore my identity without anything holding me back.
I never felt any doubt to my attraction to men. I always have had intense crushes on men. Then one day I realized none of my crushes had sexual attraction and I was ace. I then started to question if I was also aromantic. I'm autistic so relationships and social rules are hard. I knew I loved being in queerplatonic relationships with any gender and liked to do romantic stuff with any gender. I then found the term nebuloaromantic and I realized why friendships and romantic relationships felt nearly the same. I am a s3x favorable asexual and I do desire intimacy. I don't really vibe with the term biromantic, I feel more understood when I describe myself as just bisexual. Then maybe if i get really close to a person I can explain i don't feel sexual attraction but I am interested in fun times in bed.
Don't even get me started on my gender thats another essay
You’re so lucky to have your mum, I’m lesbian and coming out was really hard for me. She still doesn’t understand why I don’t like me. My story of realising I was a lesbian isn’t that out of the ordinary, I went through a bi phase but ended out going to fill way through. My friend was going on at me about her new boyfriend and how attractive he is (I did not find him attractive one bit). She said ‘we need to get you a boyfriend!’ And I turned to her and said ‘no’ and walked away 😂.
IT IS ZE PRIDE MONTH! [Insert spookymonth dance here]
Happy gay month!
When you wanna become a Rottika patron but your cookie addiction is screaming your name
Now that I'm watching this video over again, I think I might be on the aromantic spectrum as well. I had the same experience as you where I kind of just decided I liked someone and then realized that it wasn't for me. I definitely do want to experience romantic things though.
UPDATE: I've recently figured out that I am aroace, cupioromantic, sex repulsed and bi. I'm also genderfaun and transmasc🙂
Whoop, whoop! Always feel free to explore your identity and experience all different kinds of new relationships! Good luck on your journey. :]
@@rottika 🤗
REALIZATION STORY!!!
I'm genderfluid. And I never really realized it until like a few weeks ago. I was always happy being a little cis girl, until I wasn't. I thought I was a trans man, then I thought, but I really like being a girl too. Then I thought, but my boobs make me so uncomfortable, and my hair is so long and girlish, and my voice is so high-pitched. Then I thought, why is my gender chaning so much, and BOOM. I realized I was genderfluid. Also, I might be ace?
I was like, ‘But I really feel like a guy and my breasts give me disphoria - but- sometimes I like my breasts? Also, I don’t want to be a guy for my entire life? Why do I have to choose??’ I’m specifically bi-gender. I thought I wasn’t anything because I thought I had to also be non-binary sometimes to be gender-fluid.
@@momosannn3958 keep in mind that physical expression doesn’t equate to gender
I've never really struggled with my identity as queer, I've known it for a long time and it really hasn't gotten in the way of my life. I'm a bisexual woman, I love both men and women and I'm okay with that.. but one thing about my identity that really sucks is that I'm a complete sex-repulsed asexual but I am EXTREMELY alloromantic and really want a romantic relationship. My asexuality polarizes with my alloromanticism that it is incredibly difficult to find others the same as me, especially with men. I also have BPD as well so it has caused a lot of avoidance and paranoia like "what if nobody will love me if I don't want to be sexually intimate with them?". The only person I felt secure with my identity was my ex-gf, but she cheated on me so after that it has been really hard.
Oh, I'm very sorry that happened to you. :( I know how that feels (the paranoia part), and I just want to let you know that you're really strong, valid, and welcome here, and I hope you do well in the future! Have a great pride month. :]
@@rottika thank you, you too!
The “telling myself I like someone” thing is so relatable for me! I’ve been convincing myself for years that I’ve been having romantic feelings for people and I’ve never had up to like a month ago or so when I caught feeling for a friend. Also gender be confusing- I tell people I’m a woman because I don’t want to explain being a genderfluid demi girl.
Happy pride month! This is a little bit of my story, I found out I was bisexual after I fell in love with my best friend (Ik it’s a little ew and cringe) because for a time they were the only ones that truly gave two craps about me and Idk I just fell in love with that fact and quickly I started seeing them as more (they didn’t feel the same but still kept me as their best friend.) I officially came out as bi to my mother over an year ago and my father just an year ago. I haven’t felt right in my body for a while (basically since puberty which was quite early for me) and now have started to question my gender, I think I am Transmasc and have amazing support. I have also been to Mardi Gras with my mother and it was amazing, I met others like me and that made me honestly accept that I might be Transmasc, I have now just recently starting presenting myself as more masculine and I love it. I am starting to question if I am possibly on the aroace spectrum, as I don’t like the idea of sexual intimacy. I am perfectly fine with romantic stuff but the idea of someone touching me like makes me wanna throw up, I am also Autistic, I have sensory issues and hate physical touch so if it’s just that or I am possibly on the aroace spectrum but older me can find that out.
9:57 I feel the same way I've been wondering for a few years now if I'm aromatic or if I have BPD
i've been identifying as demisexual and demiromantic for several years, but i used to think i was fully asexual because i didn't want to do the sex. i later learned that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily line up with what you would be willing to do in practice, and because i'd had those feelings about guys who were close to me, i couldn't have been fully ace. and also in like 2018 i started to feel like maybe I would want to actually "do things" irl with someone i'd had a crush on since 2014 (they never liked me back yeah i know im pathetic lol). so i figured out i was demi because maybe it just takes me a really long time of knowing and trusting someone (or at least feeling emotionally attached for a long time) to consider someone in That Way. and then i realised im the same way with romantic attraction, never thinking romantically about strangers or mere acquaintances, except i'm much more romance-favourable whereas i'm sex-ambivalent. it's kinda in the neutral range like sex-indifferent except while indifference is purely neutral, ambivalence contains many mixed feelings about it, and for me it's been complex internal struggles about not knowing if i'd ever be okay with That Activity. a term that i relate to but don't know if it's true of me because of lack of experience, is lithsexual/akoisexual (there's discourse on which word to use but IIRC they're the same thing in meaning). it's when you feel sexual attraction but it goes away when the person you like that way reciprocates it or makes moves on you. and tbh i don't want it to be true of me. it would be a curse. i want a lasting relationship, not a series of strong unrequited crushes that either fade away or end with an intense feeling of discomfort any time someone finally likes me back. but i have no way of knowing if it's true because in my 26 years of life i've only had one and a half non-platonic relationships, the first being at age 16 with my equally socially awkward ex boyfriend whose kisses tasted like the smells of wet dog and that patch of carpet behind my grandma's sofa that 7 year old me dumped milk on every day for a month without being found out,, and the half a one being at age 24 with an online friend living across the globe who's afraid of commitment so we were only ever friends with benefits until he randomly got over me and i didn't until recently. Both relationships featured me having feelings for the guy but massive nervousness when sexual talk ever came up. but idk.
interestingly my current crush probably holds the record for fastest i've ever fallen for someone since meeting them, clocking in at an impressively tiny 3 months. the friend who introduced me to him made a joke about all of us "in a cuddle pile" in a flirting with platonic intentions way, and while she's a woman and i'm not into women like that, i suppose he on the other hand just got mentally unlocked as an Option in that moment, at first as a joke, but then i guess he just has such good vibes that i genuinely didn't mind that idea, and eventually fell for him and confessed. and in a sad irony, he's way more demi than me, describing himself as almost fully ace. 😔 dammit the one time i fall for someone who also likes to take it slow, my feelings take it fast. smh.
i consider myself attracted to men and masculine nonbinary people i guess? like i wouldn't say androsexual cos trans women are still women to me and i'm like nah girl youre just bestie material. but that person i liked from 2014-2019 came out as non binary in like 2018 and i still loved them for a solid year until some unrelated stuff happened and i moved on. like i'd been attracted to them for their personality (or what i'd thought was their personality 😬) for 4 years, i wasnt gonna stop because their gender was actually something else. and i've never had a full crush on a trans man yet but it could definitely happen, who knows! anyway, androgynous bodied men with cute faces and long hair, awooga, but personality completely overrules that for me. another demi thing, yippee.
as for gender, i've always considered myself a girl/woman and had no problem with that or she/her pronouns, but i recently have been toying with the idea that i'm not Just a woman. like i've always been hella gender non conforming, but for a year or two i've been secretly thinking "according to the way i act, dress, and think, i'm probably non binary af, but woman is just easier because i don't have a problem with it and i don't have to explain myself". i didn't think any "neutral" gender identity suited me tho because my gender isn't somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, but rather, different aspects of my personality are scattered all over the place like that one political compass chad meme i found. for example my pronoun/word/name preference is feminine in most cases, my lack of what men call "women logic 🙄" is very masculine, my desire to be "pretty" is feminine but my desire to be "cute" is a wholesome friend shaped squishy non binary creature and my desire to Not be "sexy" is a genderless void that hates being perceived,,,, my dress sense is usually masc-neutral but sometimes feminine or all over the place at once, the way i carry myself tends to be masculine, and my hobbies, beliefs, and fears are also scattered all over the place in terms of the gender they feel like. but i'd always just said i'm a woman because i think those things don't make me any less of a woman. so when a few weeks ago i was browsing the gender wiki thing for original character research, i saw bigender, and i already knew what that was cos i have a friend who is simultaneously female and male, but it prompted me to think more about it in regards to the character i was making and myself, because i realised that just cos i'm a woman doesn't mean that i can't be other things as well. like being other things doesn't have to partially unwoman me. anyway it only took me a few seconds to realise i wasn't bigender because it's not just two of them. trigender wasn't it either because i identify with more than just one flavour of nonbinary. polygender didn't feel right because it was defined as "many genders" and i don't think it's That Many, so I settled on multigender, which is an umbrella term for having more than one gender, but can also be used as a label on its own. for me it's like, "female, male, and a small but unknown number of non binary identities" and i think that works pretty neat as a label i can describe myself with around queer people i'm close to, but for the vast majority of people i think it doesn't matter nearly enough to officially label myself anything other than a woman. that's just easier, and nobody i interact with actually assumes all women are 100% feminine all the time, so people don't have Expectations for me and my gender wouldn't negatively impact the way they understood me as a person.
anyway yea, sorry, i accidentally an essay. happy pride. yippee
It was really long yes. But it was interesting !
Been planning on making more fanart but I’m on a long vacation so it might take a while
Happy pride month and I’m glad you’re sharing your story! Also same with the labels part lol so many
Honestly your part of figureing that your aromantic was super relatedable for me!
I'm aromantic romance repules as well and I through a very samiler experience of just picking a random boy from class parenting to have a crush on this guy and just stare at him all throughout class waiting to be hit with cupid's arrow and also stumbling into 2 different relationships with old close friend, basically saying "I love you" and me saying "I love you to" thinking they meant it platonicly and not romantically and then making dial up noises when they tried to flirting with me and standing there like "o k a y 🧍♀️"
Also amazing thumbnail
I´m a non-binary , aroace person. And know that I think about it, I ´ m actually starting questioning it , for one their is a really pretty girl (lets call her A) , and I think I have a crush on A. But My crushes never last long lol , I´m so confused . But I´ve always hated being a girl , it was so uncomfortable for me , but then I found out the term NON-BINARY , something clicked in my head.
woohoo new rottika vid!!
As a questioning aromantic, this video makes me feel seen. Thanks for this, Rot😊
Edit: ur persona is so cool omg I have to draw them
Woah, I already knew I was aro (demi/gray) but I thought I was romance positive cause I think a relationship would be cool. This helped me remember the fact that when people say they like me or even give a hint that they might I am very very repulsed... maybe I'm actually romance repulsed as well
happy pride month to you too! coming from a currently questioning aro-spec, bisexual person! :]
the last joke about many mental illness was funny like me too gurl 😂
The stupid thing about realising I was aromatic, was that I would out loud say to my partners “I’m probably aromatic, my attraction to you guys doesn’t really go further then a close platonic bound” and yet I still was completely convinced I was bisexual.
Alright, I’ll spill a little in honour of gay month!
I’m an unlabelled pansexual who might be on the aromantic spectrum!
Essentially my gender is an abstract mess I can’t make sense of (and my pronoun preference changes on a dime) so I stick with unlabelled. Found out I was bisexual because I find women and men really hot.
I’m questioning for aromanticism because I realised I have to force myself to love people, play a part basically. The most convincing act I put up was dropped in an instant when I realized the relationship couldn’t happen. I don’t think people are supposed to get over their loves in the course of ten minutes, so it makes me wonder why I’m that way.
I don’t know, that specific one was weird. It was with a best friend I found very hot. Eventually I confessed to them and we started a relationship. I thought the feelings were real, I was obsessed with this person and thought about them often. I wanted them to be mine. But I rarely hung out with them, and was stir crazy from COVID lockdowns. They were the only friend I kept through that. Once I found other friends I hung out with my partner less.
When I realised I wouldn’t move out with them, it was like a switch flicked and I suddenly didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t in love, just like that. I forced myself to care all through that, insisting they were what I was missing and could complete me, but through that I became disillusioned with the person and fell in love with the idea. Then I broke free.
Every other relationship I’ve had has been purely for show, or to not hurt someone’s feelings. They’ve felt more like “social commitments” than meaningful relationship.
Shoot I can’t edit it now- I meant pansexual both times. Thanks for the heart!
Happy Gay Month! I'm also Bisexual, Polyamorous, and Non-binary. [Maybe Agender]
I always knew I was ace, ever since the idea was introduced. I was about 10 when I found I was bi, and spent the next 3-4 years having a gender identity crisis.. yay… and then I was like “screw it” and found that I was Apagender. Happy gay month 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Happy pride month!! Everyone in the comments are so cool thanks for all the info!!
THE NEW BRAND I LOVE IT ❤❤
I love the photo you used on the front, to advertise your video, or whatever (I forgot what it’s called) and happy pride moth!!
(The word is "thumbnail", btw)
@@belinalps oh, yea! I can’t believe I forgot, TYSM
you said we could share our experience and since I figured out what I identify with coincidentally today I’m gonna share!
today I have figured out I am Omni-sapphic!! meaning I’m attracted to all genders but my attraction is prioritized towards women/women alligned nonbianary! I hope that makes sense. if not, I don’t mind explaining more!
my whole journey of sexuality ive always had people tell me “your pansexual.” Or “you lesbian.” but I am not. I hate how normalized it is for people to try to fit us in little boxes because those labels make more sense to them.
I am omni-sapphic and proud >:)
I’ve always known I was fruitier than a fruit snack, but I also knew I’m attracted to other genders too, so for my whole time of trying to figure it out I went back in forth from bi to lesbian many many many many times.
sorry the formatting of this comment is wack by the way aaaaa
I’m also nonbinary and Demi romantic/ Demi sexual :)
im a bi enby too [they/them] im still figuring out some stuff too but right now I'm pretty happy with who I am now. :)
Gender is so damn confusing whyyyy?? Lol
I've struggled with my gender identity for like 2 years before finding the term Agender.
Happy Gay Month!🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
...
FINALLY! Someone that feels the same way I do! Being Aromantic is difficult because I explain to my mom that I hate the idea if romance- I'm fine watching things with small bits of romance but otherwise I'm heavily repulsed.
I'm the type of person that I like to have friends, but I HATE having friends that have a bond past the "Worker friend who only has small convos", I can't explain it- I like being social but at the same time I absolutely despise it!
Plus, I realized I'm on the nonbinary spectrum somewhere- Still don't know exactly where but I'm there lol.
I am Abrosexual-Lesbian, which means that my gender attraction can vary over time, but I have a preference for women the majority of the time. I wouldn't say I'm Poly, but I like the aspects of it, actually being in a poly relationship is a whole other ordeal (I've been in one before)
It doesn't help that all the relationships that I've been in the past were toxic which makes me romance and very rarely sexually repulsed.
Plus, My severe mental health helps nothing T^T. Having BPD is fun (sarcastic)
my sexuality realization story was actually very similar. when i was about 12-13 i just sorta had a realization one day that i wouldnt mind dating someone the same or oposite gender as me and went with bi which i stuck with for a very long time, only a year ago realizing i was pan. My gender however, was a totally different story haha
When i was probably about 13-14 i started thinking more about my gender. I started wishing i could just change my gender sometimes. Sometimes i would get gender dysphoria, sometimes it wasnt all that strong. at 15-16 i started experementing with male pronouns (im AFAB) but after a while i went back to female ones because i just didnt feel comfortable with it. But then i was uncomfortable with female pronouns. I quietly experemented with the genderqueer label and eventually at 18 i've came out as genderfluid, although i seem to be very male leaning. I use He/They pronouns most of the time and it seems like a lot of my fluidity is actually my gender expression rather than my gender itself. Very rarely am i just they/them and i havnt been a she/her in a very long time, it just doesnt feel right to be called that. I'm very confortable with the genderfluid label since it gives me a lot more space to breath. It took a long time, lots of research and way too many sleepless nights but it was all worth it to know what i am. Not everyone finds importance in labels and i totally get it!! but for me it has helped SO much with my identity to finally have a label that explains what goes on in my brain haha
I'm a bi-aroace (angled aroace) i am demiromantic and grey-asexual that uses both aroace and angled aroace terms, i am not bisexual but a biromantic, most of the times i wouldn't mind having queerplatonic relationship since romantic attraction takes a bit longer for me, i am romance favorable when i feel romantic attraction, but romance indifferent when i don't, i am sex-neutral but not wishing to be in a sexual relationship at all.
So yeah tell me about confusion with being aromantic or asexual cause it took me a while to figure out i was demiromantic due to me denying it through the years then it was with me being asexual.
happy pride month everyone 🌈
i finally had time to watch this, all i want to share is i took this random test for funsies and it told me i was Undifferentiated-Androgynous, stil don't really know what that means
Aww yeah I'm bisexual and nonbinary too. Which mean all my relationships are queer
I slowly went through the process of realizing I was non-binary. First I identified as a demigirl who went by she/they pronouns, then I preferred they/them pronouns more than she/her, so then I was a demigirl who went by they/she pronouns. Then I was like “y’know, enby all the way!” And identified as non-binary but still let people who were close to me call me she/her. Then I said “ew I hate being a girl” so then I threw those pronouns away.
Now I identify as non-binary and abroromantic and go by they/them pronouns :)
We all struggle searching for our sexuality don’t worry. I personally don’t even understand my sexuality. But I’m only a teenager so I have the time.
Happy pride!!!
Thanks for the video it help me to understand my own sexuality
As an AFAB tRaNsNeUtRaL I didn't have my moment of realization until after like 2 years of having my hair cut short and multiple ppl mistaking me for a boy and myself just laughing and actually experiencing Gender euphoria lmao. The worst part is- I'm so gay that I experience aLl GeNdErS pOsSiBlE (pangender joke slae)
Happy pride month! I’ve just recently discovered the fact that I’m aromantic and this video honestly helped me feel more comfy with labeling myself like that. For a bit there I felt like I wasn’t a ‘true’ aro because I still feel seggual attraction and you made me feel 10x more valid😭 thank you
I'm asexual, very good name I have
maybe i am aro idk cuz ive never felt relationships as something i strive for, more as something i feel like i need to want to fit in like i have had crushes before and ppl ive constantly thought of but whenever i do i feel disgusted by myself and almost hate it and the thought of getting married or a long term just doesnt sit right with me i do want a relationship but it to be more of like friends with benifits rather than really serious
I am a romantic-repulsed aro too!! But I never want to be in a relationship, and I do not wish to be alloro in any way. I am just not into that... I am also nonbinary and enjoy being a "gender cryptid." I go by they/them, she/her, and he/him pronouns.
Hey when you said your gender wildly switched it kinda reminded me of my gender which is gender faun which is kind of like gender fluid but only between non binary and male and not on the female side of things, but you could be what I think is called gender faye? It’s the opposite where your gender is fluid between fem and nonbinary also look it up if that seems like something that might be helpful
I am still super confused about my sexuality but I believe I’m Demiromantic, abroromantic/biromantic and asexual as well as a bigender person(agender+transmasc but not trans male Ik it’s confusing)
HELL YEAH!! Happy for you!!
Hello fellow non-binary!
thank you so much for sharing your story :)
i love ur art btw
Happy pride month!! 🏳️🌈
I also have 95 mental illnesses and gain five more when bad thyng s happeeennnn! ✨
Hey man!(I hope man is ok I use it as a genderneautral term!) I'm a afab genderfluid teen, and I honestly have a lot of feelings about my gender, I honestly feel like a terrible person if I say I'm trans because I'm lucky enough to still identify with my agab, and I do like identifying with it a good bit, honestly some times I gaslight myself saying I'm not trans because of that, I'm not exactly sure why I'm commenting this other then I hope there might be someone that pops up here relating.
Thank you for sharing. /gen
I've been going through something similar lately, so I can relate. Just know you're valid and welcome here. :]
(And yes, man is fine and I like it being used to refer to me. :])
@@rottika Thank you so much, it means so much to me someone else understands, I know no genderfluid people only normal trans people, and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that, I just feel really lonely, especially when the only genderfluid famous people I know about use pretty much only they/them which theres absolutly nothing wrong with that, it's just I like to use all pronouns in a day. So just, yeah, thank you so much. :)
I can relate to your Sam experience, in junior high I started dating one of my close friends. And let's just say it didn't work out. I’ve been questioning if I’m some form of aromantic for a long time. So it's very helpful hearing others' experiences and thought processes.
I’ve found that most of my “romantic” attraction is towards my friends. So it's more platonic than romantic, I just wanna have friends I'm super close with lol.
happy pride!! im aro too yay:D
I've been confused about my sexuality for awhile and I'm still trying to figure it out. I go by the term asexual but I don't know if that term really fits me. I like some men romantically but not sexually. I kind of like women sexually, but I wouldn't do anything sexual with another woman. I don't know if I would date (or be romantically involved with) another woman. I'm probably somewhere on the ace spectrum, maybe also aro.
I am so sorry but your oc (I don’t know what to call it) is SO cute! 😭💕💕💕
i am nonbinary lesbian and i have basically always known i was nonbinary but sexuality was always a bit.. confusing
A fellow aroace questioning person here. But lets start with gender Im likely gender-fluid because sometimes I feel like a boy sometimes a girl sometimes even neighter I changes in usually in a few weeks of time or less or more. My sexuality is right now ace mostly because the idea of s€x makes me shiwer and repulsed when I was younger even kissing scenes made me feel this way soo Im likely s€x repulsed ace person. With romance I like the idea of it with mostly woman idk the idea of runnig away and having a shaphic relationship seems good/fun/cute makes me feel warm inside sort of. But for now I don't think I want to be in a relationship or anything just don't feels ready.
edit1:sorry for the broken english sometimes
Do you have any tips on self discovery? I honestly have little to no idea what i am but I don't think im straight. Literally every queer person i know already knows what they are and i feel sort of left out because of it. I feel a need ro force a label on myself because i hate not having one. Honestly it makes pride month more painful for me because i don't know what side im on
Hey, you don't need to have a definitive label to be valid or to celebrate pride month. :]
As someone still kinda figuring things out, I know how it feels sometimes not having a proper word to describe your identity, or not yet fully identifying with one thing or another. I would recommend taking things slow and not worrying too much about the label itself, perhaps just say that you're questioning/curious until you have more of a handle on how you feel! Regardless, you're valid and welcome here and I wish you luck on figuring things out!
@@rottika thanks man. Have a nice day
im sorry but your polyam vs open relationship definitions aren't really right, a person dating multiple people separately is also polyamory, and a relationship where everyone is dating each other is a rare type of polyamorous relationship known as a triad relationship I believe, and an open relationship is similar but they only really have sexual relationships with other people outside their main relationship
but anyway, rlly great video! happy pride month
I have the same birthday as Uma Thurman ! April 29 hehe
I'm ace spec and I would always randomly pick a person to "be attracted to" in school and say to my friends "omg they're totally so hot" and never feel that way.
Artists seem to be the most consistent type of people to recognize their weirdness and use it to their advantage. Ask anyone else and it's just difficulty tweak minefield, there's no benefit to being alien. I for sure most consistently ruin all kinds of relationships and my most unfortunate trait is overbearing sexuality with no filter and lack of commitment to anything (ADHD perhaps?). Being a whore with a computer is how I describe myself the past week.
Random question!!: Do you like 13+ shows such as helluva boss?? :D
pepperoni!!
happgamon :D
I'm
Bi
Nonbinary
Polyamourus
Demiromantic
i knew i wasn't straight since the day my sister told me it's okay to like the same gender. i was 7 :3
I a i am g gay( m e ow)
I would donate because i have 90+ dollars, but i can't because Im to young ( 13+ ) but i really hope you can raise enough money for your therapy and surgery bills!! And happy gay month :)
*read more*
Another trans aro yay❤
I know you just changed your persona and everything, but you can use my old user name PeterTheChildYeeter as I have since switched to AssBeater420.
Don’t know if I’m grey romantic or a-romantic. As most of the time I don’t experience romantic attractions to people and the rare times I do would only probably be for like every 2/10 people I meet. However I do still experience romantic attraction in general and want that kind of romantic-intimacy. Also romantic movies kind of bore me and kind of don’t depending on what mood I’m in?🫤