Dr. Oz Asks Donald Trump to Diagnose Himself

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2016
  • When the 70-year-old Republican nominee looks in the mirror, he sees a man half his age staring back. And somewhere in the attic, there's a portrait twice his age.
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    ---
    Stephen Colbert took over as host of The Late Show on Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2015. Colbert is best known for his work as a television host, writer, actor, and producer, and best known for his charity work teaching English as a second language on Tunisian date farms. Prior to joining the CBS family -- and being officially adopted by network president Les Moonves -- Colbert helmed “The Colbert Report,” which aired nearly 1,500 episodes and required Stephen to wear nearly 1,500 different neckties. The program received two Peabody Awards, two Grammy Awards, and several unwelcome shoulder massages. It won two Emmys for Outstanding Variety Series in 2013 and 2014, both of which appear to have been lost in the move. Colbert is pronounced koʊlˈbɛər, according to Wikipedia. His understudy is William Cavanaugh, who will be hosting The Late Show approximately one third of the time. Good luck, Bill!"
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.2K

  • @Razvan90
    @Razvan90 7 ปีที่แล้ว +549

    The writers of this show are fucking brilliant.

    • @artmanrom
      @artmanrom 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      :) They wouldn't be in it otherwise. lmfao

    • @overthinking8067
      @overthinking8067 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +

    • @avedic
      @avedic 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      And Colbert delivers that writing impeccably. :) Good comment.

    • @brunoagnello1901
      @brunoagnello1901 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      the band kinda screws his delivery tough, it's like a hype man, just feels off...

    • @andrewgreen9612
      @andrewgreen9612 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      his jokes are lazy and obvious

  • @citizenwayne9800
    @citizenwayne9800 7 ปีที่แล้ว +359

    Holy hell, Colbert is on fire tonight!

    • @mobsta163
      @mobsta163 7 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      A comedian is a good as his material. Trump is literally giving Seth, Stephen and Noah new material

    • @crimsonking8942
      @crimsonking8942 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's because he's been crapping on both candidates, nonstop.

    • @mobsta163
      @mobsta163 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ***** it isn't ghostwriting if the writers are getting credited

    • @ahmedmuntsir6685
      @ahmedmuntsir6685 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      and u'r a fuckface lel

    • @bbob70
      @bbob70 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's a paid shillary supporter.

  • @michaelsnow3536
    @michaelsnow3536 7 ปีที่แล้ว +333

    This is an odd thing, but I like how Colbert, unlike a lot of other talk show hosts, actually waits for the audience to stop cheering before he carries on instead of trying to cut them off.

    • @freekillerwhale
      @freekillerwhale 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right on, tovarisch, i can remember so many parodies of murrican shows about APPAUSE LAUGH signs for audience changing every 5secs and i can hardly find difference

    • @blackfoot332
      @blackfoot332 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He's an impressive performer

    • @evekouidri-kuhn7623
      @evekouidri-kuhn7623 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Help

    • @DiLLyi
      @DiLLyi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      i love colbert, i get so upset when people criticize him..

    • @alr6111
      @alr6111 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Tatsu Maki which broke invaded country do you come from?

  • @MediumDon
    @MediumDon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +278

    It used to annoy me that Jon would talk during the monologues, but I actually kinda like it now. It's like watching the show with a very enthusiastic friend.

    • @jeffstone2136
      @jeffstone2136 7 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      No it's not, it's bloody annoying. Like a pal at the cinema who comments on everything happening on screen. After ten minutes of that, you wanna throttle him.

    • @MediumDon
      @MediumDon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Jeff Stone It's all about the way you perceive it my dude

    • @lukejensen6802
      @lukejensen6802 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      He's gotten better with his timing and not being too loud. Still annoys me a little but I can deal with it

    • @1olivinka1
      @1olivinka1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I honestly don't know why some people go so hard on him. I think it's quite endearing haha

    • @terryfookwitt
      @terryfookwitt 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      COLDBLOODED!

  • @muskylemon2310
    @muskylemon2310 7 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    "Lettuce alone, no dressing"

  • @JohnnyMac95
    @JohnnyMac95 7 ปีที่แล้ว +861

    "35? Donald, that's not your reflection, that's your wife!"
    Apply some cold water to that burn...

    • @ZetaMoolah
      @ZetaMoolah 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      *ointment

    • @djrahdj
      @djrahdj 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thats a compliment tho.. I dont really see it as in insult

    • @JD..........
      @JD.......... 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      6:05 - badum chhhhh
      the drummer should have done it

    • @Wlooby
      @Wlooby 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      not an insult at all

    • @lizbotnick
      @lizbotnick 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      -next- wife

  • @Krydon952
    @Krydon952 7 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Well they say you're young as the person you're feeling up

    • @Lvl22Cowboy
      @Lvl22Cowboy 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      When I"m Trump's age i hope I'm feeling up a twenty year old . He's a champ

    • @krusher181
      @krusher181 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +chiki briki sure, bud

    • @memoryhero
      @memoryhero 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ‘You know,’ he said [in Esquire in 1991], ‘it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.’

    • @feralcatgirl
      @feralcatgirl 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      trump does have a lot in common with thirteen-year-olds, now that you mention it…

  • @peternorth4143
    @peternorth4143 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Colbert's dances are AWESOME!!!!

    • @gigistoner8004
      @gigistoner8004 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes... him singing that song from the Wizard of Oz while bobbing up and down (dancing?) made my day.

  • @emmettdel
    @emmettdel 7 ปีที่แล้ว +496

    I love how Stephen always puts his imaginary objects back in his jacket

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 7 ปีที่แล้ว +352

    Dr Oz did a show about a guy who has the head of a scarecrow, the empty chest of a tin man, the hands of a munchkin, and the hair doo of a cowardly lion, who claims to be persecuted by a wicked witch.
    See what happens when you look behind the curtain?
    You're welcome, cherished childhood memories!

    • @ooze1982
      @ooze1982 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      this comment made my day😊

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      hahaha

    • @VinnyDaQ
      @VinnyDaQ 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      If he only had a brain...

    • @bronzenrule
      @bronzenrule 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      +VinnyDaQ Well, what brain he does have is that of the Wizard of Oz, a conman.

    • @NewMessage
      @NewMessage 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      bronzenrule yep all smoke, bullshit, and fancy lights.

  • @glenncross956
    @glenncross956 7 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Stephen breathes in Oxygen and breathes out Comedy.
    And that's a fact

  • @KingOfMadCows
    @KingOfMadCows 7 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    I guess Doctors Nick Riviera and Leo Spaceman weren't available.

    • @dingdingdingdiiiiing
      @dingdingdingdiiiiing 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Neither was dr. Zoidberg.

    • @VinnyDaQ
      @VinnyDaQ 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Neither was Dr. Demento, Dr. Strange, or Dr. Octopus ! : P

    • @Pikkabuu
      @Pikkabuu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Is Zoidberg actually a doctor?

    • @mobsta163
      @mobsta163 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not even a backdoor doctor would want to do it

    • @0221serendipity
      @0221serendipity 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Lol. Dr Nick Riviera! :-D he's actually a more reputable Doc than the one who wrote trump's letter. "Hi everybody"

  • @jiado6893
    @jiado6893 7 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    We waged war with Iraq and Afghanistan with a VP who had 5 heart attacks, and a pump installed. Not sure why we're so worried right now.

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      lol

    • @Edgar-dp5qu
      @Edgar-dp5qu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Because we don't like either candidate.

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder 7 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Cheney didn't use his heart that often. So it didn't matter for him.
      Also Dick Cheney was ten years younger than Trump is now when he came into office.

    • @madamefluffy4788
      @madamefluffy4788 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And people liked Cheney?

    • @InXLsisDeo
      @InXLsisDeo 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Definitely noone that I've heard of.

  • @husamali9345
    @husamali9345 7 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    8 minutes of brilliance!! love this show hahaha

    • @Raussl
      @Raussl 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yes, his delivery is spectacular, but you have to remember that he has an elite staff of writers behind him.

    • @Djlofton
      @Djlofton 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So does literally every other show. Your point?

    • @Raussl
      @Raussl 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      David Lofton
      oh no, oh no...there are writers, and there are writers, the late show always had the privilege of having the most talented writers on the east coast.

    • @KJM-xr9wt
      @KJM-xr9wt 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      that is probably why the comment stated 8 mins of brilliance!!! Love this SHOW hahaha... anyone who assumes it's a 1 man show in the first place needn't be reminded. The writers are the brilliance behind the spectacle.

    • @kiankarr5685
      @kiankarr5685 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      bcuz u r a simpleton MSM-fed moron..the right propagnada audience for zionist media.

  • @carschmn
    @carschmn 7 ปีที่แล้ว +225

    Looks like Dr. Google is more accurate than Doctor Oz.

    • @lasz1979
      @lasz1979 7 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      A magic 8-ball is more accurate than Dr Oz.

    • @bcubed72
      @bcubed72 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      A "magic 8-ball" is more recreational than Dr. Oz, too.

    • @m1994a3jagnew
      @m1994a3jagnew 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      YAY KANSAS GOT ON TV FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T FUCKED UP!!! YAAAAAY! WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT!

    • @jeremybk54
      @jeremybk54 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      anything, except Trump, is more accurate then Dr. Oz

    • @m1994a3jagnew
      @m1994a3jagnew 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jeremy Kaston oh please trump couldn't hit the broad side of his own daughters face

  • @TheSFMCreators
    @TheSFMCreators 7 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "Lettuce alone, no dressing" sounds like a shitty pickup line xD

  • @terryfookwitt
    @terryfookwitt 7 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    For once Dr Oz wasn't the biggest conman on his show.

  • @MsGrapeNehi
    @MsGrapeNehi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    If only Oz had given Trump a heart... or a brain.

  • @subbuktek
    @subbuktek 7 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Donald, that not a mirror its a window...and that's Joe....He cleans our windows...say hi

    • @0221serendipity
      @0221serendipity 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      :-D That joke is funny enough to be on Colbert's show! "That's a window, not a mirror" Lol

    • @tiny99990
      @tiny99990 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      whoa whoa whoa, I think it is pretty clear Donald would never hire a window cleaner named Joe... he prefers cheaper labor and white guys named Joe are just to expensive. pretty sure he would rather pay and illegal immigrant 3$ and hour, because as much as he may dislike illegal immigrants he would (and probably has) sell his soul to make/save money.

    • @RM-qw2rw
      @RM-qw2rw 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      zenerd 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @MrPwncake
    @MrPwncake 7 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Dr. Oz is a medical expert like how Donald Trump is a successful real estate magnate.

    • @avamiller1245
      @avamiller1245 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just because he is a medical expert, doesn't mean he is right all the time.

    • @AdrianCelsiusTepes
      @AdrianCelsiusTepes 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      dammit Ava

    • @raymondcorrea1
      @raymondcorrea1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Dr oz is a quack

    • @monkeyphoenix5509
      @monkeyphoenix5509 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Ray Correa Hillary Clinton is a crook

    • @raymondcorrea1
      @raymondcorrea1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      lol Trump logic defense at its best. nothing constructive to add

  • @josephrouleau9259
    @josephrouleau9259 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Everyone's wigging out over pneumonia when FDR had polio.

  • @shimarlie1
    @shimarlie1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Colbert's improv days have served him well. I LOVE his physicality.

  • @madhur165
    @madhur165 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Top level sarcasm, Stephen colbert! It's funny Coz it might happen!!

  • @lcunash8093
    @lcunash8093 7 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    This video should serve as proof that Stephen doesn't target donald trump just because he is Donald trump, he targets the targetable... Which most of the time it happens to be Donald trump...

  • @clince-rx2be
    @clince-rx2be 7 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    trump talks like a little toddler

    • @Wildstar40
      @Wildstar40 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That is because Trump is a man-child.

    • @DCCLovesYou
      @DCCLovesYou 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      HE DOESSS! Watch The Daily Show's Trevor Noah do a piece on that! Its on his TH-cam! Its extremely funny!

    • @samd8914
      @samd8914 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Trump is a man baby that never grew up.

    • @kingkuangdiddy
      @kingkuangdiddy 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So true. All Trump can think about is the little pieces of green paper that can buy him more boobs, butts, steaks, and the uneducated people he turns into slaves.

  • @Mrlegitbeans
    @Mrlegitbeans 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    THE BURNS KEEP COMING

  • @saara7860
    @saara7860 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    "That's not your reflection, that's your wife."
    He should've just dropped his mic at that point

    • @bcubed72
      @bcubed72 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah..."Your wife is young and hot" is such an effective burn... ;-)

    • @samd8914
      @samd8914 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That was hilarious!

    • @futonrevolution7671
      @futonrevolution7671 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +bcubed72 How about "Your wife looks like a 35-year old version of you."?

  • @anderssonarad2552
    @anderssonarad2552 7 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Trump ,..the type of candidate to drive with 100 mph ..gets a speeding ticket ....and makes the police to pay for it

    • @brainlessbody9776
      @brainlessbody9776 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      hmm hmm !!

    • @andresamartins6622
      @andresamartins6622 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If he is capable to do something like this, it is a very good reason to vote for him because that would be amazing

    • @jackstar5208
      @jackstar5208 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm not sure if this is a pro-trump or an anti-trump comment

    • @samd8914
      @samd8914 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol...yes he is that type. It's never his fault. Always someone else must pay for it.

    • @cattiegrl4365
      @cattiegrl4365 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      so funny!

  • @lineoarlow5120
    @lineoarlow5120 7 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Damn Stephen was extra savage today 😂😂😂

  • @snausages43
    @snausages43 7 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    Good enough at golf to play in the PGA? That sounds like something Kim Jong-un would claim.

    • @Coldheart322
      @Coldheart322 7 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      No, Kim Jong-Un would claim he invented Golf, played once to set the record, and then started the PGA to see if anyone else could beat his record. They are still playing, so obviously they have not yet.

    • @allanthemanmccann1
      @allanthemanmccann1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      and now American has then own kim jong un

    • @Anthony-zt1zs
      @Anthony-zt1zs 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Didn't his dad allegedly hit 18 eagles or holes-in-one in one round or some insane sports achievement his people had to believe... or else.

    • @JRRLewis
      @JRRLewis 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It was actually a misquote. Trump did say he was good at golf, but the only thing he said about the PGA was that Obama plays so much golf as president that he should be on the PGA tour. Trump didn't say he himself should be. Watch the program.

    • @samd8914
      @samd8914 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol

  • @Nameless_mixes
    @Nameless_mixes 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The tax returns joke had me dying on the floor I was laughing so much

  • @dbartholemewfox
    @dbartholemewfox 7 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    4:35 "It's funny cuz it might happen." o_O

  • @Obstreperous_Octopus
    @Obstreperous_Octopus 7 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    35? THIRTY FIVE!? Look. Mr Trump. There is NO WAY a you can look at your reflection and think you look thirty five unless you have that thing Robin William's character had in the movie Jack.

    • @MrRingworld
      @MrRingworld 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      oh my God all of Donald Trump's insults finally make sense. he's not insulting them that's how they actually look to him! Hillary Clinton literally looks crooked to him Marco Rubio looks like a tiny Marco Rubio and lying Ted looks like looks like he was literally laying down we've just been misinterpreting him this entire time! he has fun house mirrors eyes!

    • @JRRLewis
      @JRRLewis 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Trump went on to explain that he *feels* exactly as he did when he was 35. He wasn't claiming he thinks he looks that age. Watch the whole clip of the exchange.

    • @tiny99990
      @tiny99990 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      The rest of the clip is actually kinda funny, the audience is clearly shocked at his claim to look 35 (because that is what is original clam was) you can even here a few people laugh then applause slowly builds... because people are sheep and if one person claps more will follow... try it sometime when you are watching something with a crowd, it's hilarious.

  • @sophiaaintaclasscuck5180
    @sophiaaintaclasscuck5180 7 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Dr. Oz, Alex Jones... I see a con game with Trump.

  • @therelik2211
    @therelik2211 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    35 years of jail he should do, scambag.

    • @jayzenitram9621
      @jayzenitram9621 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yoda?

    • @TerrorBlades
      @TerrorBlades 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Scumbag he is!" "Vote Nader, I still do."

  • @JoeDurobot
    @JoeDurobot 7 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    *Why do they keep the band's mics on when the band is not playing?*
    *So annoying!*

    • @conhand.3578
      @conhand.3578 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      *Why do they keep the band's mics on when the band is playing? So fucking annoying!*

    • @JoeDurobot
      @JoeDurobot 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Conhan D. *I know, right?*

    • @zackosborn1731
      @zackosborn1731 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm always screaming at the t.v. for them to cut John Bautiste's mic.

    • @JoeDurobot
      @JoeDurobot 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** huh?

    • @conhand.3578
      @conhand.3578 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      JoeDurobot
      This guy is lost I think...

  • @Killerk328
    @Killerk328 7 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Wait, Dr. Oz still has a show??

    • @Jordan-Ramses
      @Jordan-Ramses 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He never had a show. It was an infomercial.

    • @Killerk328
      @Killerk328 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Scott Humphreys ....

  • @NORLateCrew
    @NORLateCrew 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    lmao killed it with the 35 year old joke

  • @amigajoe1
    @amigajoe1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    35. Jesus how can anyone not realize the man is INSANE?
    The ol' "he was joking/sarcastic" dodge is wearing mighty thin. He clearly believes the delusional crap he spews. That he gets away with it is a measure of how bad things have become.

    • @austntexan
      @austntexan 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      He's the stereotypical rich ugly american db. How blue collar Americans can look to him and think that he will represent their interests is baffling.

    • @carlosr4977
      @carlosr4977 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Everything Trump said is true. But I understand your reaction, kids get scared when someone tries to break their bubble, then after it they start calling mommy Clinton to protect them against the big bully.

    • @amigajoe1
      @amigajoe1 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Carlos Roberto
      Like WHAT? What has he said that can be backed up with actual facts? What? That he'd do his daughter if he wasn't related? That he watched secret videos of money shipments to Iran? That the NFL wrote him about the debates? That 95% of blacks will vote for him? Pleas, name of few of the scary truths this lunatic has told. I can name plenty of lies:www.dailywire.com/news/4834/trumps-101-lies-hank-berrien#

  • @hogmango3560
    @hogmango3560 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I diagnosed myself once, and was going to sue myself for a misdiagnoses. But I died before I could sue me.

  • @VengD
    @VengD 7 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Do you really need that "hype-guy" to waaaaaaauuuuuuw and laugh all the time? Isn't that what the audiences are there for?

    • @kohlinoor
      @kohlinoor 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Well, he's actually an amazingly talented musician, not a hype guy. That's why he's in the band section. He is pretty annoying sometimes, I will give you that!

    • @bluestreak426
      @bluestreak426 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Donald, you need to hurry and get this country back in shape. We as Americans are truly heartless, dishonest, thiefs, and unfortunately our society will not be here anymore if our moral compass doesn't come back ASAP.

    • @bluestreak426
      @bluestreak426 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Donald, you need to hurry and get this country back in shape. We as Americans are truly heartless, dishonest, thiefs, and unfortunately our society will not be here anymore if our moral compass doesn't come back ASAP.

    • @Revealed7X
      @Revealed7X 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      It reminds us that Steven is not racist

    • @CGetRight
      @CGetRight 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      you people are fucked in your heads.
      thats a talented musician and head of the band. why must you allude to his race?
      prejudice and racism going strong in 2016 huh?

  • @tinytim6066
    @tinytim6066 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "Judging by the size of his hands I would have said mini golf"..... bwahahaha!!

  • @MiguelLuna1
    @MiguelLuna1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Is this show named "Roasting Donald Trump"? Because they're nailing it.

  • @akarimsiddiqui7572
    @akarimsiddiqui7572 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ask Trump to release his tax papers!

  • @nilo469
    @nilo469 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    damn, stephen is on fire!

  • @ramonawhitaker4503
    @ramonawhitaker4503 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I remember this episode. It's weird that I am nostalgic for The Time Before The Election.

  • @ibrahimseck3609
    @ibrahimseck3609 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Someone turns the mike of Jon's off !!

  • @intrepiddk
    @intrepiddk 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Lettuce alone, no dressing."
    Now officially the best joke in 2016.

  • @NorthviewVids
    @NorthviewVids 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Colbert you are the man...

  • @RaikouA
    @RaikouA 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This man is a treasure. X3

  • @Kite037
    @Kite037 7 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Close John's mic.

    • @hendrikc.5984
      @hendrikc.5984 7 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      It's Jon Batiste, without an "h". You uncultured swine.

    • @juliusgreen9179
      @juliusgreen9179 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Close your mouth

    • @Kite037
      @Kite037 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dang I got roasted.

    • @Papillon_2010
      @Papillon_2010 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      haha, that was funny

  • @emilguldmann6816
    @emilguldmann6816 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    To all you singles out there, When Trump was 23, Melania wasn't even born yet.

  • @saqibmansoor3513
    @saqibmansoor3513 7 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    What is the voice in the background? The guy who randomly goes "HA!, You got 'em, uh huh, HAH HAH HAH!, ahan" lol who is that guy and why is he trying so hard?

    • @thespencerwoody
      @thespencerwoody 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The guy isn't funny at all

    • @XZenon
      @XZenon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      It's Jon Bapiste.
      I dunno. It can be annoying, but thinking of Jon and Steven as good friends interacting with each other can add a lot of character to the show. I kind of like it.

  • @RiDankulous
    @RiDankulous 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As always, the material's mostly great and the delivery is perfect! I love Stephen Colbert but I don't watch TV much so I just see TH-cam highlights occasionally.

  • @vincej3882
    @vincej3882 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Naah he's ok... Could be a little taller, also..... WHY WONT HE LET ME SLEEP" hilarious.

  • @RPS848
    @RPS848 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just crown him the King of Late night!!! Colbert has been hitting it out of the park, lately!
    And while you are at it, crown Samantha Bee as the Queen of late night!

  • @DuranmanX
    @DuranmanX 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Know I know why FDR decided to have all pictures of him from the waist up

    • @TotalInsanity4
      @TotalInsanity4 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think we all do at this point

  • @mji245
    @mji245 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    8 minutes of noble savagery

  • @BruceLeedar
    @BruceLeedar 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    lmao at the 'school bus' bit, that's darker than I expect from Colbert.

  • @jbordis
    @jbordis 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I would watch Stephen Colbert do a one man show of the Wizard of Oz. I would be fascinated and enthralled by that performance.

  • @hellcat1988
    @hellcat1988 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Lets be honest... If a meteor were to fall on the next place to hold a debate between the two major candidates, even if you liked one of them, we'd all feel at least a bit of relief.

    • @harpodjangorose9696
      @harpodjangorose9696 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cheers!

    • @hellcat1988
      @hellcat1988 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      azureATC
      Fine you piece of.... Wouldn't it be lovely if the venue the candidates were debating in AT THE TIME were to be struck and completely destroyed, killing everyone inside, by a large cosmic space rock colliding with earth?

    • @damian.gamlath
      @damian.gamlath 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kinda.. but what about all those people? Wouldn't they die too? Could we somehow introduce a new segment into the debate that involved blindfolding the candidates and getting them to stand really still for 10-20 minutes? Let's tell them it is a test of mental acuity, resilience and overall physical well-being. Then, unbeknownst to the candidates, the audience and all members would be evacuated and the meteor would strike..

    • @hellcat1988
      @hellcat1988 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      27kdon
      I'm not saying it would be something we plan. It's not like we have a ready supply of asteroids and meteors ready to drop on the planet. Yes it would be unfortunate that the civilians died, but I think plenty of people would still feel just a little bit of relief.

    • @kizuuwu7563
      @kizuuwu7563 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "A bit of relief"? I would party for the next whole month. And I'm not even american.

  • @JonKrueger
    @JonKrueger 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'd see the problems with the wall. Give my tax returns for all. IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN!

  • @adama7760
    @adama7760 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Poor Stephen. He has to dance around like an idiot every night for his puppet master.

    • @fuckthisc1ty
      @fuckthisc1ty 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your foil hat is peeling of

    • @adama7760
      @adama7760 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Alan Rochin
      Look it's one of Stephen's clueless fans.

    • @poeticdevides
      @poeticdevides 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      As if Clinton has any influence over a satirical news show. Nobody would change their vote no matter what Stephen said.

  • @tropicallivingoverseas5202
    @tropicallivingoverseas5202 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great wizard of Oz impression. Loved it! so funny

  • @lukecwolf
    @lukecwolf 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Whoever writes the youtube descriptions is brilliant.

  • @jeffreysendall3971
    @jeffreysendall3971 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    the joke of hillary fainting was just bad taste. i don't think hillary is a good person but it's not right to laugh at her while suffering.

    • @LostChildOfTime
      @LostChildOfTime 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Life is a comedy, not a tragedy.

    • @jeffreysendall3971
      @jeffreysendall3971 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LostChildOfTime world war 2 was hilarious!

    • @LostChildOfTime
      @LostChildOfTime 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Eric Stilthool So was slavery.

    • @dreamystone
      @dreamystone 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pff.. because comparing someone fainting with an actual tragedy that cost people their lives is so much more reasonable.

  • @TheSpoonwood
    @TheSpoonwood 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    35 years? More like 3.5 years . gaa gaa goo goo

  • @aryanraina4238
    @aryanraina4238 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    how can u guys seriously consider electing trump ?????!!!!!!🤔😣😓

    • @Meowbox9000
      @Meowbox9000 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      some times you just want to watch it burn. I don't but I understand wanting to see a hopeless situation end. the hole assisted suicide thing. they just want it all to end.

    • @bcubed72
      @bcubed72 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      ...because it would be a necessary catharsis for the Democratic party, to lose to such a man. Because it possibly might break up the two-party hegemony. Because the Executive branch (Presidency) is too powerful, and having Trump serve might spur us to reel in the power of the Presidency.

    • @bcubed72
      @bcubed72 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      ...basically, because the guy is such an effective "wrecking ball," and right now, we need to knock down a rotting structure so we can put something else in its place.

    • @everready59
      @everready59 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      trust me...SERIOUS people AREN'T considering this gibbon.

  • @sritanshu
    @sritanshu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Damn Jon Batiste... Why so awkward?

  • @rep304
    @rep304 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Since he released his medical record on Dr.Oz he should release his tax returns on Shark Tank.

  • @mybrainsondrums
    @mybrainsondrums 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Batiste piano interjections were on point this segment!

  • @seanrichardson3485
    @seanrichardson3485 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    That little Yardbird sweet opening after speaking about the Early Bird special was wonderful

  • @CowJedi
    @CowJedi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Best opening yet

  • @ericdb9862
    @ericdb9862 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Trump:"[When I look in the mirror] I see a person who's 35 years old"
    Delusion, convince yourself

  • @Birtchman1
    @Birtchman1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "The only thing we know less about than what is in fast food is what is in your tax returns."
    Dammit, I was expecting a joke about Hillary Clinton's emails.

  • @JayronWhitehaus
    @JayronWhitehaus 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "it's funny... because it might happen".
    I laughed, hiccupped and barfed a little bit all at once. #appropriateresponse

  • @naominekomimi
    @naominekomimi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Trump reminds me of a capitalist version of Kim Jong Un.

    • @tiny99990
      @tiny99990 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      really? I always thought of it like this, Kim Jong Un and Putin had a love child lets call it Beelz and this person met Abub who was a love child of Stalin and Hitler, when Beelz and Abub met, they had a child and named it Donald Trump.

    • @naominekomimi
      @naominekomimi 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      tiny99990 I like your style.

    • @satansgayniece6246
      @satansgayniece6246 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow. I would call that needlessly over complicated, but you're probably right.

    • @dadadaddyoo
      @dadadaddyoo 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Maybe they ARE the same person! Anyone ever see them together in the same room?

    • @Mikathedog100
      @Mikathedog100 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Naomi Nekomimi, Trump's proven you correct. 😉

  • @chirpynsleepy958
    @chirpynsleepy958 7 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Have a great day everyone😊 remember to look after eachother eachother regardless of their political views😊

    • @Splox5
      @Splox5 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Tatsu Maki Because it's the morally right thing to do, Matrix Tornado.

    • @chirpynsleepy958
      @chirpynsleepy958 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Badass Atheist Then you become exactly what you say you are, and also exactly what you hate them for being

    • @chirpynsleepy958
      @chirpynsleepy958 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      don't get me wrong, I hate trump😂 but we shouldn't demonise him or his supporters just because they disagree with me. Freedom means people have the right to have their own opinion, that right doesn't suddenly vanish because they disagree with you.

  • @PeaceOutWorld
    @PeaceOutWorld 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I was lol multiple times during this standup. I often laugh at others, but this one had so many hilarious things in a row lol

  • @SankaitLaroiya
    @SankaitLaroiya 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    That wife roast is prolly the best one i've heard ever 😂😂😂

  • @Ghostface2point0
    @Ghostface2point0 7 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I never said Hillary was a better option. But Trump does not share my views on minorities, the lower class, military, or social issues. I feel like he would do wonderful wonderful things for the upper class. However the lower class and lower middle class will suffer. He's racially insensitive and misogynistic. He's tone deaf. He has sketchy ties with Russia, the KKK, recently the police union, etc. I could continue this for a while. Have I made my point?

    • @grgaming414
      @grgaming414 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      very well put

    • @unuslupus-csa
      @unuslupus-csa 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      So you think the upper class woman who has ties to Wall Street, a multi-billion foundation that doesn't pay taxes, contacts in Saudia Arabia, and who charges a minimum fee for even the smallest speech, who is also part of the establishment.. Is good for minorities, the lower class, military or social issues?
      You could literally not have a more fucking detached president than Clinton.

    • @Ghostface2point0
      @Ghostface2point0 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The very first sentence of my comment was that Hillary is not a better option. Not sure why people are commenting trying to "tell" me about Clinton as if I didn't know these things...read full sentences people. Don't just skim

    • @omaralghamdi9035
      @omaralghamdi9035 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Joe Vazquez oh you mean the grand wizard that denounced his old affiliation and constantly apologized for his actions? Funny you would say that when fucking David Duke came out to support Trump.

  • @amyamyamy17
    @amyamyamy17 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So much better than Fallon's joke of an interview.

  • @dodadagohuhsgi
    @dodadagohuhsgi 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING!! MISTER COLBERT, YOU OUTDID YOURSELF!!

  • @lankey6969
    @lankey6969 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Lettuce alone, no dressing?
    That's GOLD!
    hahahahahahhaha!

  • @TotalChaos95
    @TotalChaos95 7 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Stephen destroyed Trump in this bit.

    • @austntexan
      @austntexan 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I love the bit about small tiny hands, then immediately segue into a bit about junk lol. So funny.

    • @SeanUCF
      @SeanUCF 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I wish he had a mic he could have dropped after the age joke.

  • @DrBenson21
    @DrBenson21 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Cut the piano guys mic!! It's seriously distracting!

  • @vasp99
    @vasp99 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Stephen you get an F- for mocking Hillary's dizzy spell . Absolutely no excuse for that .

  • @avamiller1245
    @avamiller1245 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of my favourite dialogues.

  • @MuhammadSaeed90
    @MuhammadSaeed90 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Good physical condition vs Good mental condition.
    Elections 2016

    • @cattiegrl4365
      @cattiegrl4365 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      hilarious....I burst out in laughter at your comment!😂

  • @JeoshuaCollins
    @JeoshuaCollins 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Look up the Iroquois League. They are where we got the idea for our federal democracy, union of states, and the idea of a president. Fun fact: The Tadodahoe (President) was a position originally invented to appease an unreasonable warmonger by making him think that he was actually special.
    I'm not making this up.

    • @Lizamill
      @Lizamill 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Excellent! Thx for sharing. I did not know that.

    • @thishandleistaken1011
      @thishandleistaken1011 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How fucking credulous are you? Do you know nothing of Greece or Rome?

    • @JeoshuaCollins
      @JeoshuaCollins 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Terran Loyalist Have you actually looked up anything on the Iroquois and their influence on our early government? We don't have a Caesar, or anything like that. We do have a Senate, and named it after the Roman Senate, but the Iroquois invented the Bicameral Legislature that we use; The House of Representatives something neither the Romans nor the Greeks ever had. And neither of them had a Federation or Union of disparate States... that's pure Iroquois.

    • @JeoshuaCollins
      @JeoshuaCollins 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh, and if you actually do look this up (because you should, it's fascinating stuff), use the word "Haudenosaunee". That was their name for themselves, and people who use the name of the people they're talking about tend to be more trustworthy to the source.

    • @moxyoonyx2713
      @moxyoonyx2713 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I will look this up. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • @aaronreid9585
    @aaronreid9585 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Colbert's chill is lowering by the day lmao

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Who knew this would STILL be so damn relevant nearly 3 years later.

  • @sobieskilinda
    @sobieskilinda 7 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Don could look at some old video to see himself at 35. Back then he had gerbils for eyebrows.

  • @animefan4058
    @animefan4058 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Donald Trump is definitely a narcissistic oompaloompa overlord.

  • @benjijeeha
    @benjijeeha 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of his best monologes ever

  • @hanifali2566
    @hanifali2566 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Donald thats not your reflection, thats your wife" IM DEAD AHAHHAHA

  • @jennifergallegos1755
    @jennifergallegos1755 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    5:59😂😂😂😂😂 👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @djbabyboss
    @djbabyboss 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    perfect ✌✌✌

  • @CasualGamer11
    @CasualGamer11 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    The jokes in this episode slayed me!!! One of his best yet, good job Colbert Team!

  • @bernlin2000
    @bernlin2000 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hehe...Stephen is really on his game in this one :-)