8 Things Narcissists will say to CUT YOU DOWN and How To Respond

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ต.ค. 2024
  • It’s the responding that matters!
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ความคิดเห็น • 283

  • @BLessed758
    @BLessed758 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +113

    They don’t say things to get an actual response . They say things to annoy and irritate you over and over because it feeds their need for negative energy . Sick people .

    • @aliceroberts1980
      @aliceroberts1980 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Yeah, that’s all about it’s about is trying to upset you and make you angry repeatedly day after day after day constantly living in you know anger, and frustration. That’s all they care about. They’re sick people you’re right.

    • @MyFungal
      @MyFungal 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@aliceroberts1980 they always talks about the bad stuff in ones past is a high for them Don't say any positive things of others the narc will go into a narcissistic rage

    • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
      @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@BLessed758 they want others as miserable as them

  • @divinaluz7
    @divinaluz7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

    "Stop making it all about you" is another one they like to use if you try to tell them their behaviour is hurtful.

    • @divinaluz7
      @divinaluz7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yes, it's a sick joke when they say that.

    • @voquoncarter924
      @voquoncarter924 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or you're so selfish. When they're actually the selfish one.

  • @darkethereal
    @darkethereal 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +100

    “The control that they have over you when they say this to you is your reaction.” I need to hear this.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Go gray rock plz it works! You gain self control as well as deflate them ❤️‍🩹

    • @JessicaDarling2
      @JessicaDarling2 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Practice responding, not reacting. It takes time. ❤

  • @catzska
    @catzska 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    I consider myself to be a strong person. Reacting to an abusive Narcissistic person does not mean you are weak, it means you have had enough of their lies, manipulating, controlling, crazy BS. I don’t need validation from this monster, which happens to be my birth Mom. She is evil to the core. Sometimes it is necessary to take a stand and walk away.

    • @tommyparkerparker
      @tommyparkerparker หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      They feel they are doing you a favor claiming they are making you stronger when in fact they are upsetting you.

  • @bobsanderz3005
    @bobsanderz3005 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

    I’ve heard “you’re too sensitive.””somebodies touchy” “you don’t have to get all mad” etc. it’s awful

    • @Tmcsinger91
      @Tmcsinger91 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I know right I can relate to that my mom is a narcissist

  • @izzypaynee
    @izzypaynee 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    My favourite is “you always look so deep into everything” “you always overthink everything” That was the last thing I needed to hear before cutting them off. I knew I wasn’t imagining things and they were completely projecting what they actually do to me. I feel so happy now they’re gone.

    • @andrealynetta3733
      @andrealynetta3733 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Had the same exact things said to me 😐. Yeah I'm done fr and the high anxiety I had in the relationship has just melted away 😊

    • @izzypaynee
      @izzypaynee 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @@andrealynetta3733 they HATE when you have discernment, bc that’s actually all it is. You have an ability to see what they’re doing and you see their power trips and how they hold back affection to control you ect. You point it out and it’s “you’re too deep”. NAH STFU, bye! And it’s so funny bc now they probably miss us 😂 and all we are is free and much happier

    • @AbstractTheArtist
      @AbstractTheArtist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🎯

    • @rebekahsumer7980
      @rebekahsumer7980 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Or you are thinking to much 😂

    • @dwlsn93
      @dwlsn93 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Overall BEST response to it all!! ❤

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

    *"Your Too Sensitive" will be heard from their **_"Enablers"_** whenever the Empath complains to them as well...*

    • @nualabb
      @nualabb 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Totally 💯

    • @authorericar.stinson4849
      @authorericar.stinson4849 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Or “you always hold a grudge”

  • @Grace-mg8kv
    @Grace-mg8kv 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Let’s focus on the positive. Yes they do this all the time to deflect.

  • @lynneMarie32257
    @lynneMarie32257 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    His favorite line when I bring anything negative up is, “Honey, lets not ruin our day.”

    • @bobsanderz3005
      @bobsanderz3005 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      🤮

    • @godzillamanstreb524
      @godzillamanstreb524 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Time to leave

    • @hurricaneaquatics
      @hurricaneaquatics 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yep, heard that one a lot except it was "Are you going to ruin today too with this?"

    • @annaminman
      @annaminman 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yes! That was my husband’s go to.

    • @yegra
      @yegra 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      That's so diabolical and dismissive.

  • @EricMoore790
    @EricMoore790 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +75

    The narcissists will protect each other too.

    • @WalkaboutBridge
      @WalkaboutBridge 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      💯

    • @kennethlapointesongwriter3330
      @kennethlapointesongwriter3330 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Including their flying monkeys they have assembled on their side.

    • @catzska
      @catzska 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I am a calm person. My Narcissistic Mom always accuses me of having a wrong tone which I don’t. I know this because I started recording the calls and she always screams and I softly speak. No bad tone what so ever. Regardless they will find anything to accuse you of when it’s them defecting their tone and crap onto you. Once in a while rarely I would let her have it yet still with a calm soft tone. Does not work regardless. She is evil, controlling, a liar, manipulator and loves to cause drama, pain and so on. I had to stop all contact.

    • @lostNtx
      @lostNtx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Facts. They pack up and holy heck... I do not miss those get togethers lol

    • @kimmyb908
      @kimmyb908 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You're saying it so very clear. I'm sure your comments have helped many. Thank you. ❤ You are very well-spoken and smart.

  • @francesw.5919
    @francesw.5919 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Too many words especially if our words cannot change narcissistic people. So, I adopt the Proverb that says, "Answer NOT a FOOL according to his or her FOLLY." (emphasis are mine). When one told me, "Yeah, you're too sensitive;" I did not acknowledge or respond; I said nothing and continued doing what I was doing. The conversation ceased and subsequent conversations did not materialize. In fact, someone sat on the other side of me and a 'fresh' conversation ensued. The Most High has perfect timing...

    • @manyblessings917
      @manyblessings917 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yes. I just shut things down by providing no response or reaction. I also keep a poker face.

  • @halcyondays8945
    @halcyondays8945 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    My sensitivity has been weaponized so much. I had a dear friend show me how I should be treated when she said “you are so sensitive. How can I help you right now? Is there anything I can do or say that could help you feel better?”
    Guys. That shifted my whole reality to have someone see my sensitive nature as a gift to be protected and cherished and not something to throw in my face. She had no idea how much that one sentence shifted my view on it forever.

  • @Grace-mg8kv
    @Grace-mg8kv 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Great advise. Unfortunately narcs will never own anything they feel or do or say. Very frustrating individuals

  • @peterwilliams6361
    @peterwilliams6361 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +215

    A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

    • @peterwilliams6361
      @peterwilliams6361 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

    • @peterwilliams6361
      @peterwilliams6361 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You wont regret it

    • @aliceroberts1980
      @aliceroberts1980 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      That’s great, but you’re not dealing with a narcissist. This is about narcissism narcissist don’t do any of those things.

  • @jademareeRG
    @jademareeRG 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    My mother in law made a detailed photo album which included dates and special occasions for her son (my husband) from birth to adulthood and did not include ONE photo of the two of us in it! No dating, our engagement or even one wedding picture! In fact on the page that said Wedding, she put a picture of my husband and his brother at our wedding! When I calmly came to her to tell her how this made me feel she had the nerve to say “are you really that into yourself? You are looking into this way too much”

    • @kseniakovalova3435
      @kseniakovalova3435 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Lol what a …. Make an album of the same sort and exclude her😅

    • @QuotablePerspective
      @QuotablePerspective 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thats how my mother in law is also. That is where my husband gets it. I strongly believe he punished her by being with me because I already had children when we met. He always tells me how she doesn't like me because he was supposed to be bigger and better than where he is now, clearly that is his own mind trying to tell me his true feelings. I don't mind it now. Ive got it all locked down and just laugh at him and walk on. He doesn't stop me.

    • @knit1purl1
      @knit1purl1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      She sounds borderline-ish. At the least. I can't diagnose but I can say when behavior seems familiar. And I was raised by a raging borderline personality disorder. They have zero insight to their behavior. Her comment to you is sadly, projection.

    • @kippyc98
      @kippyc98 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      My MIL is like this. But I'm old & DGAF what stupid things she does anymore. I just look at her antics as something I can get a decent story out of. It's sad, because we want a nice relationship with this person. But it doesn't always work that way.

    • @karenbrindley7170
      @karenbrindley7170 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She might get a prickly cactus from me for every occasion

  • @d.c.9854
    @d.c.9854 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    "You want to be very calm. Very happy. Very secure with what it is that you say." "It's never really about WHAT we say sometimes. It's ALL ABOUT THE TONE in which we say it." BRILLIANT!!👏👏👏

  • @biancaberry777
    @biancaberry777 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I heard my abusers say you’re too sensitive for years. The moment I told them that God made me this way and He is going to use my sensitive nature for His glory and therefore I love it, well that was the last time they accused me of that

    • @bluoval3481
      @bluoval3481 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nice!

    • @Travelintherapist
      @Travelintherapist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yea, they switch tactics when they notice it doesn’t phase you anymore 😏

    • @fpitts8025
      @fpitts8025 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Beautiful ❤

    • @franwebb7756
      @franwebb7756 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Mine would say I was paranoid.

  • @shaylagrace5727
    @shaylagrace5727 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Don't respond, block and leave.

  • @Sunshine-hb2tx
    @Sunshine-hb2tx 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    When i called my in laws about my husbands verbally abuse. My FIL told me to toughen up and i was way too sensitive. My MIL told me that is just how they talk to each other. They say whats on their mind and they move on.
    18yrs later ive been so broken down.
    My husband told me his family didnt want to associate with me because I was psychotic.
    I walked away.
    Rebuilding myself, relearning self love. My anxiety is easing
    I can fall asleep without feeling guilty to be tired.

  • @breakthroughmoment1647
    @breakthroughmoment1647 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Insult to injury, they tell you to “cheer up” when you look shocked or hurt after they just insulted you.

    • @bluoval3481
      @bluoval3481 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Huge red flag behavior in a toxic relationship!

  • @wanchawancha5323
    @wanchawancha5323 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I made the mistake of going back to an ex..that had narcissistic tendencies I heard the majority of these phrases and I finally left them for good. Showed them a little grace in my head deleted and blocked their number. The best way to deal with a narcissist is not to deal with them.

  • @Deborah-d5b
    @Deborah-d5b 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    When my late mother in law was looking through our wedding album she made all the lovely comments about her son and never once mentioned anyone else in the photos.

  • @YD-uq5fi
    @YD-uq5fi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    I got so angry watching this, since I have been subjected to all of the above (including from my father). This video 30 years ago could have been valuable.

    • @trulysensitive5620
      @trulysensitive5620 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      TH-cam was not around. VCR did not cover these topics. Just forgive yourself. You are alive. I understand.

    • @godzillamanstreb524
      @godzillamanstreb524 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I get angry too…..best to stay the heck away from

    • @hurricaneaquatics
      @hurricaneaquatics 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      29 years married to a female covert/Malignant narcissist. I totally agree with you, but as the person above said, there was ZERO knowledge, or public knowledge, of these topics back then. I had never experienced a person like her and had no idea what was happening.
      I'm a very, very competent and educated person. I can read all people very well from trauma myself as a child. It's just different when you're in a close relationship like a marriage or similar. You want it to work and you also probably grew up with a person like this. Yes, forgive yourself and let's both move forward.

  • @Tmcsinger91
    @Tmcsinger91 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I can especially relate to the whole “you’re being too sensitive “ my mom is very narcissistic and emotionally /verbally abusive

  • @TrippiePineapplz
    @TrippiePineapplz 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Just listening to these phrases makes me proverbially run.

    • @hurricaneaquatics
      @hurricaneaquatics 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Just thank God you have these videos to inform you. Had you gotten into this and been clueless to mental toxic illness, it's maddening.

  • @spokenwordpoetries
    @spokenwordpoetries 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    This video is so validating! Thanks for the tangible support.

  • @YD-uq5fi
    @YD-uq5fi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    The other great thing about videos like this is that you can send it to the narcissist, and point to the timestamp where they did was was described by Stephanie. They will not only be bitter for days thereafter, but they will leave you alone in the future.

    • @cj7767
      @cj7767 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Um No because educating a narc only makes them more hurtful and manipulative.

    • @miateacher123
      @miateacher123 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@cj7767 Exactly! We don't want to give them a playbook on how to be even better at what they do!

  • @johnnichols2088
    @johnnichols2088 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    When my dad told me “you’re too sensitive” to me growing up, it was the single most devastating thing he ever did to my self esteem. All of the affirmation and encouragement I should received from my father was inverted and it has drastic effects. Still recovering from it to this day. Thank you for the video!!!

    • @lindamast2766
      @lindamast2766 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I got alit of affirmation from a book "Highly sensitive people" Elaine Aaron. I think that's the name. She started a whole movement about this, they have seminars,etc. There are alot of us out here with the same trait, it's a gift. Hope you like the book or it's probably online, you've a higher order of perception, not always recognized by others. Hang onto yourself, you know what you know❤

  • @BrianHornak
    @BrianHornak 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Thank you stephanie..you are a true gem..enjoy the rest of your day

  • @teikosannor
    @teikosannor 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    It’s interesting how I either was “forced” to learn all of this on my own or it’s not exactly on my own, it’s because I’ve listened to you for years and now I just know what to do, and when you put a video out, I’m like, YES! Thank you so so soooo much, Stephanie!
    I started watching you when I knew nothing about narcissism. A friend recommended your page, I started learning. For some reason, you’re the only one I still listen to about this topic. It’s been about 3 years now. You’re amazing!

  • @marioVSN
    @marioVSN 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    LOVED the 'can you see?' routine...
    I confronted my narc once with it, and I got a "how could I see that you would feel offended? I don't have a crystal ball"...
    At the time I didn't know better and made amends, only for things to derail and repeat once again, soon after...
    These routines are for US to understand and confirm who we are dealing with...
    They will not change and they WILL look stupid...

  • @sashad.7722
    @sashad.7722 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is a good video and piece of advice. On the other hand, my situation is that I spent around 10 years to understand what the hell is going on, how to reply, behave, etc. Now divorced in my late 30ies, no kids, starting a new life. So if you far enough to understand narcissistic tendencies of your partner, just go away. I know it's not easy but usually the best decision.

  • @cryptomaniac2
    @cryptomaniac2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I got another good one. "You always read my words in a bad tone of voice."

  • @michaelporlier8957
    @michaelporlier8957 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Excited to listen, think I need this today. Thank you!

  • @jsensefi
    @jsensefi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Thank you, Stephanie, for your support and enthusiasm🙏🏻 I needed this reminder today! Wish you a beautiful and peaceful week🕊️

  • @gordonmckay4780
    @gordonmckay4780 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Then again, I found that the best thing for me to say was nothing. I don't talk to my Mother anymore and I feel much better for it

  • @zacharydavis4398
    @zacharydavis4398 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for spending the time to create and share this content 🙏🏾

  • @lilianaguerra8876
    @lilianaguerra8876 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thank you, thank you 🙏🏽 for this information.

  • @_cr8ive_
    @_cr8ive_ 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    🤣 Me dealing with anger issues...."You look stupid wearing that." ME : "You gonna look stupid when you wake up in ICU after this conversation. " lol🤣

    • @kaoshi_kutie
      @kaoshi_kutie 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Savage 😂😂😂

    • @yegra
      @yegra 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Teach me more comebacks pls😅.
      I am so soft that I could cry if someone who's not a close family member says that to me.

  • @JessicaDarling2
    @JessicaDarling2 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is scarily accurate! Great advice, thanks for your content. If you’re watching/listening & are inexperienced with narcissistic people(bless your heart) I hope this helps to keep you safe. ❤

  • @lanag9318
    @lanag9318 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Amen.Thank you Stephanie for this great advice so spot on ,and so true ! We can't change them ,so we have to change ourselves for the better ,as we need to set boundaries so we can have peace in our lives ,.I hope you're having a wonderful weekend.God bless you always. 💞💐💕♥️🌺💝💖💖💖💖💖🌷🌹

  • @EccoLivingLife
    @EccoLivingLife 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your home look so cozy

  • @13mainstreet18
    @13mainstreet18 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I just said. I do not deserve this. Do not contact me again. And blocked my brother.

    • @jiminicricket5226
      @jiminicricket5226 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same.

    • @vikingprincess634
      @vikingprincess634 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I said that to my former daughter years ago. Nobody has to accept being treated this way, no matter who is doing it.

    • @franwebb7756
      @franwebb7756 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      My brother was verbally abusive and an alcoholic. I went no contact for two plus years before he passed away. I didn't feel much when he did and wonder if that is natural to feel numb like that.

  • @kathy5847
    @kathy5847 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My ex told me I was a very big disappointment that hurt ssssoooo much. I didn't say anything but it hurt. Now he's seeing someone else and he had the NERVE to say let yourself me loved. Well if you hadn't left me in such a mess maybe I could but I have to fix myself first. Too bad you didn't fix yourself before seeing someone else and he felt he needed to tell me it was a serious relationship. I don't care if I love again, I won't survive another broken heart. I'm 63.

  • @johnnichols2088
    @johnnichols2088 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Important to keep in mind, ANY accusation of ANY kind is narcissistic… as if they have the right to make that judgment???? It’s a way of deflecting. Now empaths like us will hear people out, listen to their problems, help them work through it and give them suggestions, even regarding themselves. But the solution to dismiss someone with a degrading phrase? Narcissist alert

  • @Pixydust143
    @Pixydust143 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    My ‘best friend’ when i shared news of a promotion: “well that’s very soon….do you think your rent well go up again this year”
    When I shared that I want to freeze my eggs: “you know that’s very expensive” that’s all, no encouragement or support and the same when i said I want to get a dog

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She’s a mother substitute so go back to the original parent codependency problem & become your own mom ❤️‍🩹

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      She’s a mother substitute so go back to the original parent codependency problem & become your own mom ❤️‍🩹

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      She’s a mother substitute so go back to the original parent codependency problem & become your own mom ❤️‍🩹

    • @elipotter369
      @elipotter369 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I hope you're putting your energies into finding nicer people to spend time with and minimising time with her.

  • @kattrinaj6575
    @kattrinaj6575 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes! Helping ourselves become healthy!🎉

  • @vimeopictures5170
    @vimeopictures5170 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I don't think it is just narcissists....even a normal healthy bitter person when they fight....say these phrases!

  • @pidouble145
    @pidouble145 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you!!! These lines are really good!!!

  • @DDa-n2v
    @DDa-n2v หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good video! Thanks Ms Lynn

  • @ProjectDestiny-Mikael
    @ProjectDestiny-Mikael 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    wow, I have heard these so many times before

  • @Truthteller1s
    @Truthteller1s 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Heard them all thousands of times over 29 years. What a complete waste of time they are.

    • @hurricaneaquatics
      @hurricaneaquatics 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same, same time done, lol.

  • @jessietremblaylemieux1086
    @jessietremblaylemieux1086 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Woww !! That's an awesome video. Thank you Stephanie!
    It's been a long time that I was looking for a video where there is some example to how to respond to a narcissist.
    This is the hardest thing to do! There is a lot of video everywhere who explain about the psychology behind... but not many video about how to behave, which tone to use, which words to say, etc.
    Thank you so much!!

  • @clairesweeney4334
    @clairesweeney4334 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “Oh, you read into everything!” Ugh!!! I hate that one!

  • @kristinelindsay4581
    @kristinelindsay4581 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I worked with a girl who when told not to be bossy said, “that’s not who I am” which takes no ownership.

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Yeah, I don't like to be in an emotional state of turmoil, but if I'm not heard and I mean properly heard, not someone only listening to what they want to hear, can't listen to the deep stuff, a disengage from what im explaining that is important to me and only hearing what they want to hear I won't get closure I won't get to speak my truth to the people who matter and that build up will always be there but when and if I'm heard and I'm just listened to mentally a part of me can move on. Obviously, I can't always get closure from everyone that's been and left in my life, so I'd write letters that I didn't usually send and write down what I'd really love to say to them. I've cried and got angry, but as my mix of emotions are coming out, it helps getting it on paper, so I feel I can put whatever it was mentally behind me

  • @mygisable
    @mygisable 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you so much Stephanie for all these short yet valuable videos. Do you have anything on how not only to decide but do leave/quit/start a separation? I am at the step before that but cannot find the courage to do it.

    • @elipotter369
      @elipotter369 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Would it help to work out the practicalities? Like getting a new place etc.
      Or speak with a counsellor, lawyer etc

    • @mygisable
      @mygisable 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@elipotter369 Thanks, I am working on that. I meant the point when you "take the plunge".

    • @elipotter369
      @elipotter369 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@mygisable keep safe. Hope it goes as well as possible.

  • @t-bone3202
    @t-bone3202 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Excellent advise, I’ve heard them all!!! 👍

  • @anastasiatheo001
    @anastasiatheo001 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks for this helpful video. I think you may have left out how we should reply to, "Let's just focus on the positives."

    • @elipotter369
      @elipotter369 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I might just google that!
      I had a particularly horrible narcissist friend who pulled that on me - I really felt like just walking out & leaving, but it would have been too dramatic, so I swallowed my feelings and faked - did what she wanted for tbe evening then withdrew from tbe friendship ultimately completely.

  • @christinag5938
    @christinag5938 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My ex husband would say a lot of these. He used a lot of absolutes or inflammatory statememts like "now you're going to be sooooo mad" or "you always take things the wrong way". He said "youre sooooo sensitive" about anything I would even calmly ask about that he didn't want to answer and was clearly guilty of.
    He also wouldn't allow me to have any negative emotions, to the point where the day I found out a relative died by suicide, he said we shouldn't wallow and we needed to move on and go to Home Depot and run errands....this along with how he treated my son gave me strength to leave a few months later.
    Thank God I got away, but we have a son together and he continues to try to torture me through my son.

  • @lostNtx
    @lostNtx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Has anyone else heard " OK Dr Phil, don't Dr Phil me..." just me? 😂😂

    • @desert_moon
      @desert_moon 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yup...many times. He says, "Thank you Dr Phil!" 🙄

  • @marypieratt5747
    @marypieratt5747 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My older sister who has tried to ruin my life since birth, has a well used line-“I listened to what you had to say…but you’re wrong” PERIOD

  • @RS-ov2st
    @RS-ov2st 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Some of these statements can also be made by the victim in defense of themselves, to a narcissist who is raging on you , or being a jerk. Narcissist we definitely know , are very sensitive and are a hair trigger . What upsets them, would not likely be upsetting to someone else. I have in the past said to my narc ex husband, who would rage on me , or be snarky, or being a jerk, that he was being too sensitive, or blowing things out of proportion. Anything to try to get them to understand your feelings, or what was actually happening, or to calm a situation that you know is headed for overheating, escalating, going in the wrong direction.He would twist my words many times , or totally take things out of context. I think a lot of these phrases can be general phrases that, anyone , could say when they feel attacked, threatened, or treated unfairly. Especially a victim trying to defend themselves. Or, especially by, the narcissist trying to discredit you.

  • @teresaneumann1098
    @teresaneumann1098 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent video. 🎉

  • @CdnDolly
    @CdnDolly 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I did the "lead by example" method for over 5 years and it never worked. Even interrupting his provoking a fight method by trying to stop it before it started, by talking calm and rational, still lead to him throwing a fit anyway. Nothing ever worked. I am the most patient, tolerant person I know, and no matter how much I tired, I couldn't do it. Some narcissists are just too far gone.

  • @johnnichols2088
    @johnnichols2088 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My dad I would describe as a psychopath, not a narcissist. I mean a truly genuine monster. Like something out of a horror novel. When I was going through a tough time to the point of suicidality, when I besought him for help, he faked it, tried to reason with me, and I sensed a coldness which, because I hadn’t suspected him, I took for confidence that he believed I would make it. Now I know he was thinking “is this guy gonna give me what I want or kill himself?” Evidenced by when he finally gave up and said “if you kill yourself don’t make a mess”. I also took that as “tough love” confidence in my ability to make it. He was unable to provide any sort of emotional support. It was all about him: “I’m not worried about it, I know you’re going to do something that makes me proud.”

  • @TammyM36
    @TammyM36 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great advice. Thank you. Subscribed

  • @darialo8740
    @darialo8740 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Sadly, a narcissist who’s also a psychopath won’t care about any of it. It all sounds like teaching a child, it’s better to run from those types of people if you can.

  • @amywilkinson9134
    @amywilkinson9134 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is so soothing

  • @Itsmeandthatsok2
    @Itsmeandthatsok2 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I always hear (I Always take things the wrong way.)

  • @rosaliaoliver-qv3gr
    @rosaliaoliver-qv3gr 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    ♥️Stephanie♥️Thank you♥️you always are100% right♥️

  • @gracepennyworth8990
    @gracepennyworth8990 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are the only person I know who....... (another manipulative line ) there is no point in expecting some people to understand, some people aren't capable of understand.

  • @Yosef_Maharat
    @Yosef_Maharat 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks!

  • @BingoMomi
    @BingoMomi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I used to hear, "YOU DON'T TRUST ME!" Like I was wrong.

  • @JohnGaskell-zh5qz
    @JohnGaskell-zh5qz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    WOW! My ex did all of this exactly!!! And when she discarded me for the 3rd time she THREW ALL my prior conversations about my past in my face! I was abused by a covert female narcissist

  • @richardlenz2655
    @richardlenz2655 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    They try to make you wrong with everything they could. Lately my narcissistic friend lost hair. Then she said to me: this is because you always make me angry 🙁. So she forced me to buy her some Kurkuma diet at the same day as a suggested remedy. She said: but this will take a long time. So I was again falling in for a new control 🤭

  • @salk2555
    @salk2555 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Can you post a video on how to not believe any negative things people may say about us, our appearance or looks, about us being a failure etc. and how to reject it, avoid them, know who we really are , be self assured and not let it affect us?

    • @brg2743
      @brg2743 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's on them if that is who they are and what they say.

    • @pandora6405
      @pandora6405 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Say hi to them and no more, oh and don't smile, keep poker face

    • @QuotablePerspective
      @QuotablePerspective 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The best thing is to have faith in yourself and know that this isn't the truth. Worry about how you see yourself and not them. I think the hardest part is going around their "monkeys" as they call them. But I just smile and keep being me. I don't get upset with the little public rabbit punches I get to set me off so he can prove to them that I am over sensitive. You just have to be aware at all times, know yourself and don't go into defense mode. Speak slow, listen to them well. Don't let them take control of the conversations. They will! I recorded mine once and cried when I realized what a puppet I was. Every time he felt that I was feeling good about what I was saying, he would give me a second of silence then start talking about him and his aches and pains or sadness so that I would forget myself and get back to him. BRILIANT I realized. BUT once you know, you can''t blame them anymore. You have the power. You just have to listen for it.

  • @knit1purl1
    @knit1purl1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Something I experienced when dealing with what I believe was a full blown narcissist at work: This individual made fun of how I was using my hands when he attacked me and I was just trying to explain myself. Explaining myself was my mistake. I've learned. But they will make personal attacks like that against you. How you are standing, facial expressions, moving or holding your hands. It's nothing things, but it's used to control you. Years after this I encountered this person in another workplace. He said something to me, I mumbled something incoherent and walked away. He left me alone then. Had he not, I would have continued the same. No way was I even going to speak to this garbage again.

  • @Sam-pl3yd
    @Sam-pl3yd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Stephanie yes I am grateful enjoy your day🙏

  • @milans9962
    @milans9962 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi Stephanie!
    Are they doing all this CONSCIOUSLY with full awareness?
    Or are all these subconscious purposes outside of their visible thinking?
    Thank you for all your content!

  • @LittleBird888
    @LittleBird888 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this video. Very helpful!

  • @keariewashburn4680
    @keariewashburn4680 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I started saying , " instead of studying me, you ( the narc) need to study yourself " i will go with my self. I do not care what people think because they talk about their ignorance of not knowing How to have insight of their own self. Then, I remove myself and stay true to me, myself and I. I am Patient with myself and compassionate to myself and practice self care. I'm too tired of the BS and circular gaslighting " You this and you always crap" I don't study that anymore. I don't want to get into always trying to understand " them" and stop trying to figure it all out.

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    8:41 Thank you

  • @janetamplin7318
    @janetamplin7318 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Conversation....when with controlling people..... I just make noise... .like ..gosh.thats right......really..umm.. Never....excellent.... just keep head nod. Algood with life

  • @righteousbyfaithinChrist
    @righteousbyfaithinChrist 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great advice... Thanks.

  • @artbygilik
    @artbygilik 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I had a narcissistic ex friend once make plans with me on my birthday. She and her daughter went and got their hair done and had me waiting for 40 minutes past the time we arranged to meet. She brought me a matching tshirt that she and her daughter wore, she wanted me to put it on but I didn’t want to put the tshirt over my dress. She then went to say “everything is always difficult with you, you always make everything so difficult” 😬 too bad it took me several more months to finally cut her off. She went on a smear campaign when I blocked her off

    • @cracker3924
      @cracker3924 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Gotta love the smear campaign

    • @artbygilik
      @artbygilik 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@cracker3924 it’s hilarious because she told my friend that I talk about people behind their backs - while she was doing that exact same thing to me

  • @kimsherlock8969
    @kimsherlock8969 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thankyou 😊

  • @bumblebee_ms
    @bumblebee_ms 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My ex used to say to me: "Are you really going to go out like that (or wearing that)?" and most of the time it was the same thing I wore 1000 times before. He did it just to question me in a derogatory way and to belittle me in every way possible. I actually questioned myself coz I thought he was my person and had my back. How foolish.

    • @Carine247
      @Carine247 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I can relate

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Carine247 Thank you.

    • @annapugh9262
      @annapugh9262 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did you ask him, with a surprised look on your face , “ why are you asking me if I am going out in this outfit “ and walk away without waiting for an answer ..😂 14:11

  • @karenharris3183
    @karenharris3183 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    to deal say only they would know. let it roll off as it not you not your idea. you never have to really agree or care your heart feelings maybe do control you but you can not control them. just the thinking might not ,make it etched in truth or gold.

  • @madagirlmadagirl5893
    @madagirlmadagirl5893 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    My sister in law is so evil. She really did a lot of damage

  • @rebeccamilligan8659
    @rebeccamilligan8659 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love this ❤🎉😮

  • @avph
    @avph 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I figured out that he cared about the optics of people than myself and the relationship. He said he would “work” on it, but never did. 😢

  • @Lucille12346
    @Lucille12346 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Tonight love is good it’s ok but tough love without compassion is abusive

  • @crystalmyers4076
    @crystalmyers4076 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    They also like to say they’re just joking. 🙄

  • @jennifergibson8566
    @jennifergibson8566 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I do get chipped away by my husband. All the time, it’s hard to “not react”.

  • @cs.8821
    @cs.8821 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Yes. But fragile narcissist are supersensitve

  • @johngoodall1926
    @johngoodall1926 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    However, on the other foot, try being around a “jumpy” person who goes on the defence endlessly. It’s torture, walking on eggshells and being savaged for every expression, comment or move one makes. It can be dressed up as “sensitivity”, but can also be a form of extreme, albeit, covert bullying and reverse torment. Let’s not forget that !

    • @elipotter369
      @elipotter369 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's a different sort of thing - used by bullies and others craving attention and being pandered to - best to move on from asap.

  • @sreach93
    @sreach93 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's all about setting you up for you to react, that way they can become the victim. They know if they poke the Bear often and enough it's not going to end well

  • @junanneownbey623
    @junanneownbey623 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    How about a narc knowing you are mentally ill upon meeting you and living with you as a co parent ONLY for over 20 years.Then gaslights you on a recorded line with your psychiatrist. The doctor tells the narc that they are gaslighting the patient. The narc then yells at the doctor,”You’re a quack!” Then gaslights said patient again . Gets a reaction from the patient and CALLS THE SAME DOCTOR FOR HELP AFTER SAID NARC GASLIT THE PATIENT AS WELL AS CALLED THE SAME DOCTOR A QUACK! It is so sad when you are stuck financially and can’t get out of situations like these. (Which is why most people are scratching their heads wondering why a mentally ill patient would get themselves in such a mess in the first place, I know.)😮I’m here to share that my faith has pulled me through as well as my doctors and coaches like this wonderful one we are watching. My God has a plan. This is part of it. Stay strong! We will be shown a way out !

  • @Sel817
    @Sel817 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Always beautiful ❤