This level of hypocrisy makes my brain hurt. Thank U for reminding what that hell and torture felt like. Happily single and no contact for over two months.
I just wanted to say, you are a badass Cluster B Milkshake! I have much respect for the level of truth you speak. I respect honesty even if I may not agree with the behaviors. Even shocking truths need to be spoke! Great channel! I am lovin’ watching you grow!
My wife's mother was a huge toxic narc. A for real train wreck. My wife has 6 sisters and two brothers. All her sisters cheated on their husbands and are all divorced. 22 yrs into my marriage my wife cheated. Looking back over the years, my wife doesn't like intimacy. Stay away. She freezes when I hug her and say I love you. I didn't have a Frame and actually saw her hit on a guy and insude 5 seconds had his ohone number. 2 months down the road she went AWOL. We worked through it. Pissed off I was. Saw her turn 90 degrees and smirk. That's the part that bothered me.
I have narcissistic tendencies. Most narcissists don’t know they are narcissists and they are not this black and white. What it really comes down to is their fear of commitment, fear of abandonment and need to control the situation. Deep down they know you will probably, eventually leave them because they subconsciously know they are not mentally well. They don’t know how to stop ruining things, so they look for someone new to keep themselves from spiraling into depression when you eventually do leave. And they want to do it while they are at their best and full of fuel because then it is easier for them. Everything they do is their own sick and twisted way to protect themselves from the problems they themselves can’t stop causing. One common trait about narcissism is impulsivity. They aren’t plotting most of these horrible things they are doing to you to protect themselves. They have very low introspection into their own decision making. It’s usually just on the fly and terrible.
Narcissists cheat because they are proving to you (unbeknownst to you) that you don’t tell them what they can and can’t do. They are emotionally at toddler age.
Hi, I appreciate your honesty in this video. Thank you for explaining the reasons for why narcissists do the things they do and for validating their partners by saying it's not their fault. This video was so helpful for getting an insight into the disorder. Keep on sharing. Thank you.
My ex narc said he never would cheat because he could never forgive himself. Found out towards the end he did all the time during our entire short marriage. I was a great mom and side chick for him during this time. And didn’t realize what was happening until I learned.
He said that to get a supply in that moment from you. They do not exist like you and me. They are what they would like to be in that moment and they believe that. Like, you imagine you are a saint on Thurstday, but a week ago you did something unspekable (shitty). It is dual thinking, something normal people can not do. Sam Vaknin has a video about it. That's how like murderes can think they are angels :) And they truly believe that. That's because there is no real person who think and calculate what is the truth... Everything is in flux and twigligt zone and it is perfectly normal to them. That is why it is a mental ilness. We can not comprehand that. So your husband was right - he beleives the first statemet and also knows he is cheating. For him the first thing has nothing to do with the other - because non of it was him, these are just empty words. They do not have an EMOTION acompaining the meaning of words. Words or talking is just empty talking... Nothing has anything to do with anything because they do not really exist as 1 coherent person. The thruth and REALITY is only what is happening in this second. That is what thier brain tells them, everything else is blocked and hiden from thier conciousness. So, if you tell him how he contradict himself he will look at you puzzeled. Don't try to understand, for us they are lunatcis as we are as to them 😂 Maybe Cluster B can make a video about dual thinking of narcissist.
You are so normal compared to my daughters mom who is a narcissist. I believe she is just completely hopeless. I have issues of my own such as chronic alcoholism, and after spending a week with her and being drunk she traumatized me to get sober and run home. Now, i am determined to stay sober because i cant stand the shame i feel when around her.
Wow! Thanks Sara for another great one! ❤️ The one he cheated on me with is the complete opposite of me. At least I know now it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him.
I've been living with some or most of these things going on with my girlfriend for 10 years now and have witnessed most of these situations and even tight this minute as I comment. I've never had the closure of the cheating even though I figured it out myself and fought it after her return, was lied to and all that about it but thanks to your honest description of it all to me I'm feeling a little better. One thing I always wonder about though is how many of people this stuff happens to but the outcome is different for the Narc and someone ends up in the heat of the moment of finding out or caught in the act passes on due to violence or blunt force trauma? Some people are better than others as far as controlling themselves and I've seen many instagram vids of cheaters violently hurt or killed. I do RESPECT your STRAIGHT forward and HONEST DESCRIPTION. THANK YOU
My Narc cheated. I couldn't prove physically but for sure emotionally. He wasn't coming home until 2-3 am [he's a coach] and then says he was either driving around or on the phone in the parking lot... hmm ok. One night he came home smelling like perfume. Anyway, long story short, I kicked him out New Years day and he went to stay with a "mutual" female friend. 5-7 days later he tells me they have feelings for eachother. Yeah! Then she tells me that he was confiding in her about our relationship and the feelings just happened and she's sorry! I'm sure he was doing more than that! So he moved on the day I kicked him out. Good riddance, and I know he'll just do the same crap over again. Thank you for your channel! It's been helping in my healing journey ❤✌
This is why I don't allow "female friends" to even know what my man looks like... And my man will never meet any of my friends, male of females. No one is going to use my kindness against me, I don't even give it a chance. The guy better like me for me, or else he can get out 👟
Thank's B. Been doing good, staying solid nc. A few nighta ago I learned she had cheated on me with the very man who told me, bragging to me. I kept my cool and managed to not take the trap he was laying, but I knew he was telling the truth, usig the exact words shw had used to accuse me, though I've never cheated on anyone my entire life. Wise to that, after all I've seen and read, I thought I'd be ok if evidence presented itself, but I'm not. Aa with other lies and sneaky shit, things began to add up, weird shit I'd turned a blind eye to now makes sense and it feels like my heart's been ripped out of my chest all over again. This helped a little and I'll try to keep in mind that ii wasn't personal becauae it sure feels personal right now. REAL personal Namaste
My narc cheated simply because opportunity presented itself snd what he wanted was the only thing that ever mattered. He would never turn away an opportunity. Didn’t matter how nasty or questionable that person was, he took it snd took many simultaneously snd very rarely even used protection. Of course I found all this out years later so he believed that it didn’t matter anymore so I had no right to be upset about it after the fact. I’ve cheated in the past with a partner because my partner didn’t make me feel like anything special anymore. There was still plenty of sex but it wasn’t exciting or passionate. Just routine. Almost like a chore now. A new partner made me feel like i was the most gorgeous woman he’s ever met snd he was the luckiest man alive. That felt amazing to be with someone that couldn’t get enough of me snd made me feel alive again.
Its nice to see you happy. I wish my ex listened more to me about my emotional needs over other sweet gestures that he did. For example shutting me out and not seeing me or talking to me on the phone either, and threatening to do WHATEVA with someone else. THEN brings me body wash a loofah and chocolates, then betrays my boundary of adding chicks from work on social media. WELLLL the nice deed got sandwiched between two big piles of crap and its really hard to show appreciation for that! So us normies just need our emotional needs put as priority and then you really can't go wrong!
You do see how Grandiose that sounds yourself. "So us normies just need our emotional needs put as a priority...." Don't forget that our emotional state was stunted at 5. You are asking a 5 year old to be emotionally available to you. Then you'll say something like, Well you should have let me know that in the beginning. And I'll say, the ones who are unaware don't know that they have a personality disorder so can not be honest with you.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE well he had the ability to meet normal relationship needs when he wanted to. So I don't think its grandiose at all to want that consistently because he could do it. He just stopped when I made a boundary with a very small consequence to it.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE obviously he couldn't let me know that in the beginning and I knew he was stunted because of the drug use over the years. So it took me a while to realize that wasn't the main reason for the behavior. I mean he could stop stuff. Like being emotionally abusive, my mom had a talk with him about that and he just STOPPED.
If a narcissist cheats they will cheat, you could be throwing it back in the bedroom with the best lingerie and body on point, giving them all the attention, and being the perfect housewife/house husband and they will still cheat! If they’re a cheat they’ll cheat simple as that. You know they’re a cheat especially when they claim to not be cheaters when you haven’t asked them! I’m also afraid of intimacy but I’m not a narcissist how is that possible?!
I feel like Galileo when he discovered the sun was the center of the universe. All of her behavior makes sense now! I was trying to use logic to figure her out and reason with her. Let me tell you how that worked out. Eight months later I’m picking up the pieces. Thank you ClstrB!
Mine told me, after convincing me and begging for commitment, and we had a rocket blasting sex life, he still had to get more than me. Sex became bondless towards the end and I felt more like a placement body to just use and push aside.
@@z3ph3us6 My ex and I had an excellent sex life. I had a very high a very high sex drive and he never went without. I also loved him deeply and he knew it. I thought he felt the same and he went through a lot to get me. But he still cheated on me all the time, even with my friends and a teenage family member...
Came to your channel just to let you know that after binging you for the last week I've for some reason acquired some of your mannerisms and humor 🤣 I was like where is this coming from 🤔 oh my God this is cluster b milkshake 😲
Just found your channel. It's awesome to get a different perspective from someone who dishes out the abuse vs. all the other channels where it's only about people who have received the abuse. If a narcissist ex tells you they want to be friends with benefits, will they accept only having a sexual relationship with you? Can a narcissist have a purely sexual relationship with an ex? How would you react if your ex would have told you that he only wanted sex and nothing more? Think it would make a great video as their are not many videos that elaborate on this. Thanks for the videos, I have only seen a few but you are spot on with the ones I have watched. Thanks!
I start controversy cuz I'm bored, boring ppl bore me, obvs I want attention too, so I go else where. I gave up on social media cuz its boring, nothing is fun anymore. If ppl wanna cancel me, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you, you have every right to call me out, I'm not upset, I'm bored.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I dunno! I've tried dating a few times, I'm just socially awkward, you know? I crave for an emotional connection, it's just, with ADHD, I have these emotional outbursts! It is a hassle, lemme tell you 😭😭
Mine told me that I wasn't feminine enough for him but sometimes he made a comment about other women and I was like "What?!? Do you really think She Is a beautiful woman?!" Also he said that two of his exes were average, which Is a lie, they are stunning. Lies, lies, lies. But when Is time to have sex, I think for them any hole Will do
My ex cheated on me at the very end of our 1 year relationship. He still denied it and texted me he missed me even after we broke up, and he was with the one he cheated on me with.
My ex-wife cheated on me with a guy that looks kind of like me as far as body frame and facial hair. We lived in a beautiful house and this guy literally live in a crack house. Not to knock anyone but I can't understand why she would be willing to give up 15 years, beautiful home, decent looking husband that did anything and everything for her while she was "depressed" and slept literally 24/7 but somehow had time to cheat on me. I couldn't even get her to hang out with me or go for a ride to the damn store and back meanwhile she's using my truck that I was making the payments for to go visit this guy... Wtf. At first I felt great because it was such a downgrade but now I feel even worse because I feel like I wasn't even better than this piece of shit
It has nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter what you give us. We have mental disorder. We will leave and be with someone who gives us excitement or trauma. We are at war with ourselves, NOT you. You're just a mirror for our self hatred and Shame.
As per H.G.Tudor - your fuel become stale and she went to find fresh somewhere else. I hope you don't expect mentally ill person to be normal :) With fuel they feel energetic, amazing, exilirating, powerful etc. Fuel does not make YOU feel that way because your brain is different (and mine). We are too boring to them - almost annoying.
Why do they tell you to stop stalking yet choose to get a job near all the places that she knows I hang out at?! She’s spying and projecting I think. I’ve been thru the love bomb discard cycle at least 10 times with her and I’ve had her on block for nearly 2 months.
*It's their job. It's in their Contract. It's in their Corporate Handbook. Singer Delores O'Riordan wrote **_"Linger"_** for "The Cranberries" about lying and cheating and then drank herself to death. So go figure. R.I.P. and WTF?*
Glad you addressed this. It hurt so violently when it happened. It felt like my insides were being ripped out slowly and methodically. The grief, loneliness and longing were so intense I was confused and embarrassed by my inability to straighten myself up. But I see now that he and his family thought, since it is what has traditionally happened on his side, that he could have his fling and pathetic, sickly, isolated me would wait for my allowance and periodic pat on the head for not stirring the pot. Surprise! 32 years of marriage over in 9 months. They knew Id stir a pot if need be. They forgot who he married. He and I both have shame issues, but for different reasons. His were instilled in him by his parents. From the moment we got together as teens, If he ever did something he considered really bad or unforgivable, he would withdrawal, give up, assume it was over, etc. He didn’t even try to ask for forgiveness, fix anything or just say, “My bad”. I never wanted him to beg or grovel. I watched him do enough of that with his parents. But, I couldn’t release him from that hold. It is pitiful. Thanks for getting the info from all those sources. Your the best. Namaste’🐔
That is an interesting concept i don't think about, where u said when a narcissist cheats, the partner will close off and stop sharing and caring. It's true. I did that. I close off to my ex, I never thought about that it could have been a method to reduce my attempts to connect with him as a means to reduce being overwhelmed when it was too much for him. I remember when i asked him why he texted his exes, he told me it was because he wanted to feel special. I really don't know if that was really how he felt or just a mask, and i wasnt good at expressing my inner feelings about that, but later i thought, he was special to me, and I did try hard to make him feel special. I kno cheating there's no emotional connection. It's kinda jus the thrill in the moment or the getaway from reality.
There's never enough attention. Him getting positive attention from his ex doesn't mean that he gave one scrap of f*ck about them. It was all for his benefit so he wouldn't fall into a dark place. It's too bad he couldn't find a better outlet to refill his broken cup but having power of another is very hard to give up.
I know mine started cheating when his life was falling apart and I was trying to push him to fix it. He didnt want to..he wanted me to just sit back and let him be lazy and dependant on me. I know it wasn't about me or anything I did because when I asked why his reason was the stupidest thing ever..I didnt go for enough walks with him 😂.
My violent ex narc would have killed me and the other man if I had ever cheated on him, which I wouldn't have dared to do, and I had no inclination to do. One man was more than enough to handle and he nearly drove me crazy. But he used to accuse me of cheating, even when I was 7 months pregnant......but HE was the one who was cheating, often, and he barely tried to hide it.
Because you don't feel like you deserve the truth otherwise you would leave. You were probably lied to by your caregivers so it feels normal. No self esteem leaves you with less choices (you believe). Ask yourself why you would want to stay in a deceitful relationship?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEdam that lie part is so dam true I recently went thru that with my dad and up until this time that he lied to me I didn’t realize how normal it was for him to do so and how “normal” it was to accept it like nothing but it opened my eyes that I let it also happen so much in my last relationship with a bpd and accepted it…that’s a real eye opener for reals 💯💯💯
Same reason why companies outsource, it's convenient. Though it's probably different for the genders (Men are more likely smash and dash and women are more likely to start a emotional relationship outside the relationship) , and the motive of course. Sometimes you're just sowing the oats, other time's you want to cause damage. Just remember if you try to hold them accountable you're going to face manipulation, plausible deniability, gaslighting, refocusing attention, victimisation, crocodile tears etc..
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I hope I can request his ppl to step out. It's so embarrassing. Hs sooo gonna get off on me feeling embarrassed. Ugh!!! And he chose in person. I hate him
Yeah, i think this is so, so difficult for normie's and empath's to comprehend, because our brains are processing differently. Why do some, who have been horribly abused in childhood and develope narcissism or some other psychopathy and other's become warrior advocates and rescuers of the abused. Intellectually, we all know it is never right to take out ones pain or hurt on innocent people who have done nothing to us.
First off, Empaths aren't real. You're a codependent with an anxious attachment style. Why we are the way we are? th-cam.com/video/0muQuvzXZx4/w-d-xo.html
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE My ex tells the story that I walked away from him and had been withholding sex, so he had to move on and find a new woman to be with. I only went no contact when I caught him texting and talking to another woman. Recently his daughter told me that he admitted to her when she asked him how long he’s known the new woman, that he has been with her for almost 2 years. Hmm! I only caught him 13 months ago.
If I say I don't cheat, then I do not cheat,I stick to that rule,I have toxic ways and that I'm aware of,but Does that give me right to push that on my lover,I think not. If I'm single yeah,all bets is are off,but if I'm in a relationship I don't entertain the Idea of cheating,I think cheating shows a lack of character and self control. I had many opportunities to be a infidelitic dirtbag,But I know the guilt will destroy me,But once you accuse me of cheating,then your under investigation, due to my experience projection is guilt when expressed.
What's funny is my ex husband said he would never cheat. He said he would leave me first. You don't know what you would do until you're in that situation. He cheated and blamed me for not being attentive of his needs. HAHAHAHA
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE No disrespect to you Sister,in my opinion your ex-husband was a coward,he didn't have intergity for himself,do you expect him to have intergity for you,no one is perfect,I have been in many situations where I could've cheated,I came close, but I never did,Why, because I have to look myself at the mirror
@@trapstarro4524 He cheated and I worked on the marriage for 6 more years. I do it and there is no forgiveness. He also propositioned my sister. F*kc his feelings.
Red or Blue Charmin? 😉My toxic ex wanted affection. He said he was starving for affection and he was not wrong. He claimed that he wanted it from me. No idea if he was bull-pooping (can I say bulls***ing??) me or being legit. He said he wanted me to reach out to hold his hand or give a hug or kiss. Knowing his mom, I get why he is f***ed. Well, I bet he is getting it now from his new pet turtle. Total opposite. Dumb as a stump, town pump, lost custody of kids, alcoholic. Major upgrade 🙄🙄😜😜. Say hello to Mr. Chicken; the King Clucker.
Cluster b, I have a question, do you feel that if someone is in a relationship with you, and there was a way or multiple ways ur partner would basically play high level mind games and challenges with you, that you would feel more inclined to stay loyal and have basic respect for them? Essentially feed that need for desire of control and one upping the other. Do you think that would be satisfying enough to hold your loyalty and respect for ur partner? That you could then partake in the other aspects of the relationship with them knowing that you will again have that hard core challenge to engage you and allow you to work your brain to get that impulsive desire to essentially work hard and get the pent up energy out so u could actually have a moment to relax and enjoy a simple moment in time, like ahhh, I worked hard it was a excellent work out, and now I can sit back and have a moment of peace, before the next challenge? Of course saying that ur partner is on board and really puts in the effort and creates continual varying challenges for you with them?
There doesn't even need to be an understanding that High Level Mind Games are present. I don't trust anyone so I believe I'm being f*kced with 24/7. This creates unnecessary chaos and makes me feel like a zero. I then want to rage quit the relationship. So play with your partner all you like. I don't like always feeling on edge.
UPDATE: I SPOKE UP and they're just gonna distribute it in envelopes to the judge and lawyers. Still annoying but whatever it's better than the entire crowd seeing me topless. I'm still pissed he chose in person ..didn't u say u would choose zoom?
Thank you Sara.💝 I have a question...I understand the way you explained it but what I don't understand as if the reverse were to happen to a narcissist why do they take it so personally if if most people assume that people think the way that they do? Basically what I'm saying is why does the narcissist get so wounded if they are the ones that are being cheated on?
Yes. And so do “Normies.” Some people cheat as a punishment, because they are missing something from their relationship, limerence, fantasy/escapism, boredom in the relationship, or a way out from a bad relationship (thinking this one will be better).
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I do think that all narcisist cheat In 2018 i received an annonimius message that i should leave my future husband because he forces all his partners to have abortions and I and the other one did not have an adortion. I had just given birth two days ago, we were civil married and we were going to make the wedding in a few months. When i confronted him he denied he has any babies and i believed, i had nowhere to find out more I’m 2020 i was again contacted by the annonimius, who gave me specific details about what he does and that he cheats on me with multiple women, saying he/she wants me good and stuff and left me the contact of the other woman. I messaged her, she denied that is his baby. Now bc we divorced I asked her again if the baby is his and she said that he is but he doesn’t know bc he didn't wanted the baby, when she told him she was pregnant he told her she was in a relationship and chose me, he told her to have an abortion because it was destroying his future She said she was scared. And that she didn’t knew about us. I don’t think that’s true.. Anyways I think it’s her decision to say, but he also deserves to know I will not interfere but our children deserve to meet each other What I don’t understand is why she did contacted me? Bc of the revenge, gealosy envy..? Should I do something? Any advice?
What about when they leave you for someone else? He didn’t work for 18 months, I made him get a job and within 4 months he was gone. Went to live with her rent free for a few weeks. They’re no longer living together but still in touch/ seeing each other. He got sacked for lifting his hand to her within a few weeks of leaving here. The first 2 years with me were a rollercoaster but the last 3 since our son was born we’re pretty stable but still toxic. Was he just bored??
Bored and wanted excitement. Probably. He may have been looking for someone different than the dynamic you both had. This give him balance. Cheating creates excitement and drama. For the Cheater, they get to live in fantasy land and escape from reality. But what they don't know is when they leave the reality for the fantasy, the fantasy becomes their new reality and they get bored AGAIN.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE thanks! He came back to me briefly saying I was his true love and chasing me. Then she moved away and now he’s back to chasing her. He enjoys spending time with me as a family but I’m done being used. He’s lost that passion for me and I’m ready to try and heal my own shit. You’re videos are brilliant thanks for helping me understand this mind fuckery.
Hello. I just discovered your channel. Thats a great video, thank you for putting this out, you’re amazing. I wonder now after listening to this, what people should to do for you not getting bored? In your opinion. I want to know what bored means to you. Thank you!
Narcs are funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I don't like them don't get me wrong but I actually see them as interesting. They dobweird shit all the time then act cluless about it , I was with a narc and %99 of the time was a wtf moment! I must admit they are a little funny
He would never be honest bc he doesn't want his parents to know about himself. As for his feelings. I have talked to hundreds of husbands and boyfriends about their side. So, I have a good idea how my husband felt about me.
@@surfshack2 sorry to hear that I am glad you survived I know its tempting They literally destroy you until you are a shell of yourself Neglect you and it’s tempting but it backfired on my ass soooooooo bad If there is anything I can say it would be I tegret it nd should of just left But it didn’t happen that way He almost killed me
@@surfshack2 it’s tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine I understand you You want better You are starving for better and it never gets better I understand you want to just be loved and wanted
You make fun of the most disgusting energy, my girlfriend put eye drops in my tea, then had to take me to bed. She then went out with someone else. 13 h later I awoke. You are not clever this is not funny this is not stuff to play with. I could be dead now. What's wrong with your mind. Two years ago she put eye drops on my birthday cake and raped me, while she was completely infected . She did this so I could never leave her. Now I am alone and afraid for my life. None of this is to be made fun of. She is telling people I am crazy not well in the head. Her daughter is her helper in this sickness. You need to give heart to the victims of narcissist abuse. My name is Stuart Ferreira karoo South Africa. I am59 and afraid to leave the house, yet on Saturday she will be at the market place and loved by all. How is it that you can find this amusing. My life is in danger because of someone just as you are. No heart.
I've never poisoned anyone. By the way...this information is to warn people. If you don't like the way I do it, go away. But you offering your own experience IS helpful in warning others too.
The story she told me was that yeah she was still friends with her boyfriend and helped him out because he's blind but she made it clear to him that they weren't in a relationship and that she just "wasn't looking" so its fine if they keep doing relationship stuff. I asked her about all this whrn she started talking to me and she explained it away and I was like fine... he did not see it that way. He made people in our mutual circle think she cheated on him with me and I didnt care and that I was a home wrecker and im just like yo im just reciprocating feelings and its wonderful and fuck off. When she got rid of me after I found out she cheated but I didn't confront her I was kind of just observing and hanging around. I could tell she was trying to get me to break up with her and I almost did but then I'm like nah im not gonna let her make me fulfill her prophecy of everyone abandoning her. Im gonna stick around. But she did harshly bail on me. She told me she was a narcissist and played me. I already knew... I told her this is self destructive and impulsive and she was creating chaos. She said "no you were the impulse." ... but he took her back. That conversation he was listening to of course, always triangulating. He heard us say a lot of things that were pretty unforgivable... she basically confirmed 3 times she cheated on him and he still took her back. Was wild... I still feel sad because I really wanted to show id never abandon her even when she's creating such toxicity... but it didn't matter.
This level of hypocrisy makes my brain hurt. Thank U for reminding what that hell and torture felt like. Happily single and no contact for over two months.
I just wanted to say, you are a badass Cluster B Milkshake! I have much respect for the level of truth you speak. I respect honesty even if I may not agree with the behaviors. Even shocking truths need to be spoke! Great channel! I am lovin’ watching you grow!
My wife's mother was a huge toxic narc. A for real train wreck. My wife has 6 sisters and two brothers. All her sisters cheated on their husbands and are all divorced. 22 yrs into my marriage my wife cheated. Looking back over the years, my wife doesn't like intimacy. Stay away. She freezes when I hug her and say I love you. I didn't have a Frame and actually saw her hit on a guy and insude 5 seconds had his ohone number. 2 months down the road she went AWOL. We worked through it. Pissed off I was. Saw her turn 90 degrees and smirk. That's the part that bothered me.
If your wife was the antagonist in her childhood, it could be her automatic response to pissing people off.
I have narcissistic tendencies. Most narcissists don’t know they are narcissists and they are not this black and white. What it really comes down to is their fear of commitment, fear of abandonment and need to control the situation. Deep down they know you will probably, eventually leave them because they subconsciously know they are not mentally well. They don’t know how to stop ruining things, so they look for someone new to keep themselves from spiraling into depression when you eventually do leave. And they want to do it while they are at their best and full of fuel because then it is easier for them. Everything they do is their own sick and twisted way to protect themselves from the problems they themselves can’t stop causing.
One common trait about narcissism is impulsivity. They aren’t plotting most of these horrible things they are doing to you to protect themselves. They have very low introspection into their own decision making. It’s usually just on the fly and terrible.
Where would you say you are on the scale?
Thank you. I seek to understand and this helps. Do other narcissists agree with this?
F up this time bye man child fn a crack and me too really bye
Thats the thing the scale changes. Sometimes day to do for some @teresaz7152
They definitely plan
Narcissists cheat because they are proving to you (unbeknownst to you) that you don’t tell them what they can and can’t do. They are emotionally at toddler age.
What?
You got the stunted emotional growth thing correct.
I'm so grateful to hear you sharing your experience 💯😎🎯
Hi, I appreciate your honesty in this video. Thank you for explaining the reasons for why narcissists do the things they do and for validating their partners by saying it's not their fault. This video was so helpful for getting an insight into the disorder. Keep on sharing. Thank you.
You are saving lives !!! Thank you thank you!!! Knowing is half the battle !!…
My ex narc said he never would cheat because he could never forgive himself. Found out towards the end he did all the time during our entire short marriage. I was a great mom and side chick for him during this time. And didn’t realize what was happening until I learned.
He said that to get a supply in that moment from you. They do not exist like you and me. They are what they would like to be in that moment and they believe that.
Like, you imagine you are a saint on Thurstday, but a week ago you did something unspekable (shitty).
It is dual thinking, something normal people can not do.
Sam Vaknin has a video about it.
That's how like murderes can think they are angels :)
And they truly believe that.
That's because there is no real person who think and calculate what is the truth...
Everything is in flux and twigligt zone and it is perfectly normal to them.
That is why it is a mental ilness.
We can not comprehand that.
So your husband was right - he beleives the first statemet and also knows he is cheating.
For him the first thing has nothing to do with the other - because non of it was him, these are just empty words.
They do not have an EMOTION acompaining the meaning of words.
Words or talking is just empty talking... Nothing has anything to do with anything because they do not really exist as 1 coherent person.
The thruth and REALITY is only what is happening in this second.
That is what thier brain tells them, everything else is blocked and hiden from thier conciousness.
So, if you tell him how he contradict himself he will look at you puzzeled.
Don't try to understand, for us they are lunatcis as we are as to them 😂
Maybe Cluster B can make a video about dual thinking of narcissist.
You are so normal compared to my daughters mom who is a narcissist. I believe she is just completely hopeless. I have issues of my own such as chronic alcoholism, and after spending a week with her and being drunk she traumatized me to get sober and run home. Now, i am determined to stay sober because i cant stand the shame i feel when around her.
Wow! Thanks Sara for another great one! ❤️ The one he cheated on me with is the complete opposite of me. At least I know now it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him.
I've been living with some or most of these things going on with my girlfriend for 10 years now and have witnessed most of these situations and even tight this minute as I comment. I've never had the closure of the cheating even though I figured it out myself and fought it after her return, was lied to and all that about it but thanks to your honest description of it all to me I'm feeling a little better.
One thing I always wonder about though is how many of people this stuff happens to but the outcome is different for the Narc and someone ends up in the heat of the moment of finding out or caught in the act passes on due to violence or blunt force trauma?
Some people are better than others as far as controlling themselves and I've seen many instagram vids of cheaters violently hurt or killed.
I do RESPECT your STRAIGHT forward and HONEST DESCRIPTION. THANK YOU
Narcissism apart,
you are freaking attractive,funny and addictive to be around!!!!!✨✨
We salute your self awareness 💫💫💫😇
Best video on this topic ever!
My Narc cheated. I couldn't prove physically but for sure emotionally. He wasn't coming home until 2-3 am [he's a coach] and then says he was either driving around or on the phone in the parking lot... hmm ok. One night he came home smelling like perfume. Anyway, long story short, I kicked him out New Years day and he went to stay with a "mutual" female friend. 5-7 days later he tells me they have feelings for eachother. Yeah! Then she tells me that he was confiding in her about our relationship and the feelings just happened and she's sorry! I'm sure he was doing more than that! So he moved on the day I kicked him out. Good riddance, and I know he'll just do the same crap over again. Thank you for your channel! It's been helping in my healing journey ❤✌
This is why I don't allow "female friends" to even know what my man looks like... And my man will never meet any of my friends, male of females. No one is going to use my kindness against me, I don't even give it a chance. The guy better like me for me, or else he can get out 👟
❤i cant get my ap woman to accept or give me details. She denies
Never going to recover from this. False promises cheating then blocked. So hurtful
You hit the nail on the head
Thank you, Cluster B Milkshake for sharing your insight and experiences. I needed this.
Thank's B. Been doing good, staying solid nc. A few nighta ago I learned she had cheated on me with the very man who told me, bragging to me. I kept my cool and managed to not take the trap he was laying, but I knew he was telling the truth, usig the exact words shw had used to accuse me, though I've never cheated on anyone my entire life. Wise to that, after all I've seen and read, I thought I'd be ok if evidence presented itself, but I'm not. Aa with other lies and sneaky shit, things began to add up, weird shit I'd turned a blind eye to now makes sense and it feels like my heart's been ripped out of my chest all over again. This helped a little and I'll try to keep in mind that ii wasn't personal becauae it sure feels personal right now. REAL personal Namaste
It's still a betrayal. You feelings are valid.
I found out thru his phone one night. It was one of the few times I fell to my knees in my life.
Thank you so much! This one hurts but I'm happy to know!
My narc cheated simply because opportunity presented itself snd what he wanted was the only thing that ever mattered. He would never turn away an opportunity. Didn’t matter how nasty or questionable that person was, he took it snd took many simultaneously snd very rarely even used protection. Of course I found all this out years later so he believed that it didn’t matter anymore so I had no right to be upset about it after the fact.
I’ve cheated in the past with a partner because my partner didn’t make me feel like anything special anymore. There was still plenty of sex but it wasn’t exciting or passionate. Just routine. Almost like a chore now. A new partner made me feel like i was the most gorgeous woman he’s ever met snd he was the luckiest man alive. That felt amazing to be with someone that couldn’t get enough of me snd made me feel alive again.
Maybe he cheated cause he felt alive again when he did it. Why is your reason better than his?
Scooping Scooping Scooping..
Into the jars...
Onto the shelf...
Peppers
Its nice to see you happy. I wish my ex listened more to me about my emotional needs over other sweet gestures that he did. For example shutting me out and not seeing me or talking to me on the phone either, and threatening to do WHATEVA with someone else. THEN brings me body wash a loofah and chocolates, then betrays my boundary of adding chicks from work on social media. WELLLL the nice deed got sandwiched between two big piles of crap and its really hard to show appreciation for that! So us normies just need our emotional needs put as priority and then you really can't go wrong!
You do see how Grandiose that sounds yourself. "So us normies just need our emotional needs put as a priority...." Don't forget that our emotional state was stunted at 5. You are asking a 5 year old to be emotionally available to you. Then you'll say something like, Well you should have let me know that in the beginning. And I'll say, the ones who are unaware don't know that they have a personality disorder so can not be honest with you.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE well he had the ability to meet normal relationship needs when he wanted to. So I don't think its grandiose at all to want that consistently because he could do it. He just stopped when I made a boundary with a very small consequence to it.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE obviously he couldn't let me know that in the beginning and I knew he was stunted because of the drug use over the years. So it took me a while to realize that wasn't the main reason for the behavior. I mean he could stop stuff. Like being emotionally abusive, my mom had a talk with him about that and he just STOPPED.
If a narcissist cheats they will cheat, you could be throwing it back in the bedroom with the best lingerie and body on point, giving them all the attention, and being the perfect housewife/house husband and they will still cheat! If they’re a cheat they’ll cheat simple as that. You know they’re a cheat especially when they claim to not be cheaters when you haven’t asked them! I’m also afraid of intimacy but I’m not a narcissist how is that possible?!
C-ptsd. Watch my video on C-ptsd and Shame
Hi sexy I would love to cheat with u any time
I hope your healing journey goes well.
You work so hard and deserve the best🙏🏼❤️
WOW! WOW! WOW! Enjoyed
I feel like Galileo when he discovered the sun was the center of the universe. All of her behavior makes sense now! I was trying to use logic to figure her out and reason with her. Let me tell you how that worked out. Eight months later I’m picking up the pieces. Thank you ClstrB!
But the sun isn't where Galileo said.
Because they can......and because they need as many sources of admiring dependent supply as they can get.
Did you watch the video?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Yes I did.......
Mine told me, after convincing me and begging for commitment, and we had a rocket blasting sex life, he still had to get more than me. Sex became bondless towards the end and I felt more like a placement body to just use and push aside.
@@z3ph3us6 My ex and I had an excellent sex life. I had a very high a very high sex drive and he never went without. I also loved him deeply and he knew it. I thought he felt the same and he went through a lot to get me. But he still cheated on me all the time, even with my friends and a teenage family member...
Girl! Thank you
Came to your channel just to let you know that after binging you for the last week I've for some reason acquired some of your mannerisms and humor 🤣 I was like where is this coming from 🤔 oh my God this is cluster b milkshake 😲
😂
“I use Charmin, now you know” 😂😂😂😂
Getting a supply replacement in place for when the narc pulls the plug.
You spelt REBOUND wrong.
Just found your channel. It's awesome to get a different perspective from someone who dishes out the abuse vs. all the other channels where it's only about people who have received the abuse. If a narcissist ex tells you they want to be friends with benefits, will they accept only having a sexual relationship with you? Can a narcissist have a purely sexual relationship with an ex? How would you react if your ex would have told you that he only wanted sex and nothing more? Think it would make a great video as their are not many videos that elaborate on this. Thanks for the videos, I have only seen a few but you are spot on with the ones I have watched. Thanks!
I made a note of it. I have had FWB with an ex bf but that was after a year or more of being broken up.
I start controversy cuz I'm bored, boring ppl bore me, obvs I want attention too, so I go else where. I gave up on social media cuz its boring, nothing is fun anymore. If ppl wanna cancel me, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you, you have every right to call me out, I'm not upset, I'm bored.
You need a borderline girl friend. I promise, you will never be bored again. LOL
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I dunno! I've tried dating a few times, I'm just socially awkward, you know? I crave for an emotional connection, it's just, with ADHD, I have these emotional outbursts! It is a hassle, lemme tell you 😭😭
Mine said 'any man alone is an opportunity' I really didn't understand how literally she meant 'any man'.
I’m having nightmares because of this comment lol
Mine told me that I wasn't feminine enough for him but sometimes he made a comment about other women and I was like "What?!? Do you really think She Is a beautiful woman?!" Also he said that two of his exes were average, which Is a lie, they are stunning.
Lies, lies, lies.
But when Is time to have sex, I think for them any hole Will do
@alice-hp7dh yeah I reckon you're dead right. They just wanna feel a certain way. It's got nothing to do with the other person at all really.
@@Rio_VR Yes you are right. We are important from what they can have/ feel/ expose trough us.
Of course, your phantasy perfect life is a narcissistic injury. Because everything is perfect except you. You're still empty, not happy.
Goddamn! I said Charmin at the same time you did. Now you got me scared....
Wow! Thank you so much
My ex cheated on me at the very end of our 1 year relationship. He still denied it and texted me he missed me even after we broke up, and he was with the one he cheated on me with.
Screen shot and send it to the the replacement gf.
You look positively vibrant in this one ^^
Thanks!
Thank you! 💗
My ex-wife cheated on me with a guy that looks kind of like me as far as body frame and facial hair. We lived in a beautiful house and this guy literally live in a crack house. Not to knock anyone but I can't understand why she would be willing to give up 15 years, beautiful home, decent looking husband that did anything and everything for her while she was "depressed" and slept literally 24/7 but somehow had time to cheat on me. I couldn't even get her to hang out with me or go for a ride to the damn store and back meanwhile she's using my truck that I was making the payments for to go visit this guy... Wtf. At first I felt great because it was such a downgrade but now I feel even worse because I feel like I wasn't even better than this piece of shit
It has nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter what you give us. We have mental disorder. We will leave and be with someone who gives us excitement or trauma. We are at war with ourselves, NOT you. You're just a mirror for our self hatred and Shame.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE could you a bit open more about what does the "mirror" is?
@@burakonderuslu679 Watch my video: narcissists are at war with themselves.
As per H.G.Tudor - your fuel become stale and she went to find fresh somewhere else. I hope you don't expect mentally ill person to be normal :) With fuel they feel energetic, amazing, exilirating, powerful etc.
Fuel does not make YOU feel that way because your brain is different (and mine).
We are too boring to them - almost annoying.
🥲🍼🥰 Thank you for your perspective ❤
Why do they tell you to stop stalking yet choose to get a job near all the places that she knows I hang out at?! She’s spying and projecting I think. I’ve been thru the love bomb discard cycle at least 10 times with her and I’ve had her on block for nearly 2 months.
Watch my video, Why Narcissist Fear Rejection.
Sounds like cheating for every reason possible.
*It's their job. It's in their Contract. It's in their Corporate Handbook. Singer Delores O'Riordan wrote **_"Linger"_** for "The Cranberries" about lying and cheating and then drank herself to death. So go figure. R.I.P. and WTF?*
As an empath I felt this I'm divorced of 6 years to one and just broke up with one thx for the explanations ❤❤❤.
Glad you addressed this. It hurt so violently when it happened. It felt like my insides were being ripped out slowly and methodically. The grief, loneliness and longing were so intense I was confused and embarrassed by my inability to straighten myself up. But I see now that he and his family thought, since it is what has traditionally happened on his side, that he could have his fling and pathetic, sickly, isolated me would wait for my allowance and periodic pat on the head for not stirring the pot. Surprise! 32 years of marriage over in 9 months. They knew Id stir a pot if need be. They forgot who he married. He and I both have shame issues, but for different reasons. His were instilled in him by his parents. From the moment we got together as teens, If he ever did something he considered really bad or unforgivable, he would withdrawal, give up, assume it was over, etc. He didn’t even try to ask for forgiveness, fix anything or just say, “My bad”. I never wanted him to beg or grovel. I watched him do enough of that with his parents. But, I couldn’t release him from that hold. It is pitiful. Thanks for getting the info from all those sources. Your the best. Namaste’🐔
Very factual
That is an interesting concept i don't think about, where u said when a narcissist cheats, the partner will close off and stop sharing and caring. It's true. I did that. I close off to my ex, I never thought about that it could have been a method to reduce my attempts to connect with him as a means to reduce being overwhelmed when it was too much for him. I remember when i asked him why he texted his exes, he told me it was because he wanted to feel special. I really don't know if that was really how he felt or just a mask, and i wasnt good at expressing my inner feelings about that, but later i thought, he was special to me, and I did try hard to make him feel special. I kno cheating there's no emotional connection. It's kinda jus the thrill in the moment or the getaway from reality.
There's never enough attention. Him getting positive attention from his ex doesn't mean that he gave one scrap of f*ck about them. It was all for his benefit so he wouldn't fall into a dark place. It's too bad he couldn't find a better outlet to refill his broken cup but having power of another is very hard to give up.
"Got a taste of that God smack" Great turn of phrase
I know mine started cheating when his life was falling apart and I was trying to push him to fix it. He didnt want to..he wanted me to just sit back and let him be lazy and dependant on me. I know it wasn't about me or anything I did because when I asked why his reason was the stupidest thing ever..I didnt go for enough walks with him 😂.
I KNOW I WASNT MY FAULT THAD I KNOW.
I cheated on an Social Studies test in high school once.
I cheated on 100 tests. 😅
@Surfshack2 Doooooood I cheated the cheat that cheated. Super cheat. 😂
@@daviedood2503 Dude
You are a lost one. But you are showing the world how you people think. Thank You!
My violent ex narc would have killed me and the other man if I had ever cheated on him, which I wouldn't have dared to do, and I had no inclination to do. One man was more than enough to handle and he nearly drove me crazy. But he used to accuse me of cheating, even when I was 7 months pregnant......but HE was the one who was cheating, often, and he barely tried to hide it.
I know what that is like.
Why do we believe the lies even when it feels so much like a lie???
Because you don't feel like you deserve the truth otherwise you would leave. You were probably lied to by your caregivers so it feels normal. No self esteem leaves you with less choices (you believe). Ask yourself why you would want to stay in a deceitful relationship?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEdam that lie part is so dam true I recently went thru that with my dad and up until this time that he lied to me I didn’t realize how normal it was for him to do so and how “normal” it was to accept it like nothing but it opened my eyes that I let it also happen so much in my last relationship with a bpd and accepted it…that’s a real eye opener for reals 💯💯💯
Same reason why companies outsource, it's convenient.
Though it's probably different for the genders (Men are more likely smash and dash and women are more likely to start a emotional relationship outside the relationship) , and the motive of course. Sometimes you're just sowing the oats, other time's you want to cause damage.
Just remember if you try to hold them accountable you're going to face manipulation, plausible deniability, gaslighting, refocusing attention, victimisation, crocodile tears etc..
Did you even watch the video? We don't cheat the way normies cheat.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE manipulation, plausible deniability, gaslighting, refocusing attention, victimisation, crocodile tears doesn't sound like normal cheating behavior?
@@Sugabullets I said the reasons WHY we cheat are not the same reasons normies do. You're talking about behaviors.
I just found out that they'll be showing my nudes in court to prove that it's a crime and he sent it...IM GONNA KMS WTFFF
Oh AND ..HE CHOSE IN PERSON!!! WFTFF?? HE HAD THE OPTION TO DO ZOOM AND HE CHOSE IN PERSON . I DONT UNDERSTAND
WTF?! That f*kcing sucks! But you hold your head up high like you're a Playboy Bunny. F*kc him!
Yes girl, keep your head up. It’s not your fault.
You’re helping other people from being violated
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE I hope I can request his ppl to step out. It's so embarrassing. Hs sooo gonna get off on me feeling embarrassed. Ugh!!! And he chose in person. I hate him
Yeah, i think this is so, so difficult for normie's and empath's to comprehend, because our brains are processing differently. Why do some, who have been horribly abused in childhood and develope narcissism or some other psychopathy and other's become warrior advocates and rescuers of the abused. Intellectually, we all know it is never right to take out ones pain or hurt on innocent people who have done nothing to us.
First off, Empaths aren't real. You're a codependent with an anxious attachment style.
Why we are the way we are? th-cam.com/video/0muQuvzXZx4/w-d-xo.html
Even if know is not my fault my Pain and my shame do not go away .right know you triker my memori i am sow mad.
So how does the narc feel when they get caught and the normy leaves and goes nc?….
We'll find a way to make it your fault. But nobody likes rejection. They will not be happy.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE My ex tells the story that I walked away from him and had been withholding sex, so he had to move on and find a new woman to be with. I only went no contact when I caught him texting and talking to another woman. Recently his daughter told me that he admitted to her when she asked him how long he’s known the new woman, that he has been with her for almost 2 years. Hmm! I only caught him 13 months ago.
Fantastic video! I related to many points you made. Do hugs and cuddles almost feel condescending?
Condescending? No. Smothering and Fake? Yes.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEyep. Seemed like that. Not all the time but maybe It Is only my projection
Great video
This is a touchy subject. Ba dum tis. 😂
Because it's more clever an act to put all the answers on your pencil's side than to deep-fry your brain with that 3am crunch time.
LOL! What?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Cheating! You know, for the math exam!
If I say I don't cheat, then I do not cheat,I stick to that rule,I have toxic ways and that I'm aware of,but Does that give me right to push that on my lover,I think not. If I'm single yeah,all bets is are off,but if I'm in a relationship I don't entertain the Idea of cheating,I think cheating shows a lack of character and self control. I had many opportunities to be a infidelitic dirtbag,But I know the guilt will destroy me,But once you accuse me of cheating,then your under investigation, due to my experience projection is guilt when expressed.
What's funny is my ex husband said he would never cheat. He said he would leave me first. You don't know what you would do until you're in that situation. He cheated and blamed me for not being attentive of his needs. HAHAHAHA
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE No disrespect to you Sister,in my opinion your ex-husband was a coward,he didn't have intergity for himself,do you expect him to have intergity for you,no one is perfect,I have been in many situations where I could've cheated,I came close, but I never did,Why, because I have to look myself at the mirror
@@trapstarro4524 He cheated and I worked on the marriage for 6 more years. I do it and there is no forgiveness. He also propositioned my sister. F*kc his feelings.
Narcissist cheat because they are entitled to do whatever they want.
That's in there.
Red or Blue Charmin? 😉My toxic ex wanted affection. He said he was starving for affection and he was not wrong. He claimed that he wanted it from me. No idea if he was bull-pooping (can I say bulls***ing??) me or being legit. He said he wanted me to reach out to hold his hand or give a hug or kiss. Knowing his mom, I get why he is f***ed. Well, I bet he is getting it now from his new pet turtle. Total opposite. Dumb as a stump, town pump, lost custody of kids, alcoholic. Major upgrade 🙄🙄😜😜. Say hello to Mr. Chicken; the King Clucker.
ha ha yeah mine is a “I would neva! Neva eva!” 🤣🤣
😂
Sometimes i cheat and dont even see it as cheating.
Because the person you're cheating with doesn't matter?
Loser
Cluster b, I have a question, do you feel that if someone is in a relationship with you, and there was a way or multiple ways ur partner would basically play high level mind games and challenges with you, that you would feel more inclined to stay loyal and have basic respect for them? Essentially feed that need for desire of control and one upping the other. Do you think that would be satisfying enough to hold your loyalty and respect for ur partner? That you could then partake in the other aspects of the relationship with them knowing that you will again have that hard core challenge to engage you and allow you to work your brain to get that impulsive desire to essentially work hard and get the pent up energy out so u could actually have a moment to relax and enjoy a simple moment in time, like ahhh, I worked hard it was a excellent work out, and now I can sit back and have a moment of peace, before the next challenge? Of course saying that ur partner is on board and really puts in the effort and creates continual varying challenges for you with them?
There doesn't even need to be an understanding that High Level Mind Games are present. I don't trust anyone so I believe I'm being f*kced with 24/7. This creates unnecessary chaos and makes me feel like a zero. I then want to rage quit the relationship. So play with your partner all you like. I don't like always feeling on edge.
He cheted me with 2 women very similar to me. Both of them are nurses ( as me) and some other features. Same eyes color... I just can t understend...
UPDATE: I SPOKE UP and they're just gonna distribute it in envelopes to the judge and lawyers. Still annoying but whatever it's better than the entire crowd seeing me topless. I'm still pissed he chose in person ..didn't u say u would choose zoom?
Yeah, I would have chosen zoom. I think he's just trying to intimidate you.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE lol he's not getting eye contact from me so good luck
Thank you Sara.💝
I have a question...I understand the way you explained it but what I don't understand as if the reverse were to happen to a narcissist why do they take it so personally if if most people assume that people think the way that they do? Basically what I'm saying is why does the narcissist get so wounded if they are the ones that are being cheated on?
We only view things from our perspective. How you feel is not even on the radar.
I wonder if borderlines cheat too.
I never did it and i would never do it.
Yes. And so do “Normies.”
Some people cheat as a punishment, because they are missing something from their relationship, limerence, fantasy/escapism, boredom in the relationship, or a way out from a bad relationship (thinking this one will be better).
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE true
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE
I do think that all narcisist cheat
In 2018 i received an annonimius message that i should leave my future husband because he forces all his partners to have abortions and I and the other one did not have an adortion. I had just given birth two days ago, we were civil married and we were going to make the wedding in a few months. When i confronted him he denied he has any babies and i believed, i had nowhere to find out more
I’m 2020 i was again contacted by the annonimius, who gave me specific details about what he does and that he cheats on me with multiple women, saying he/she wants me good and stuff and left me the contact of the other woman. I messaged her, she denied that is his baby.
Now bc we divorced I asked her again if the baby is his and she said that he is but he doesn’t know bc he didn't wanted the baby, when she told him she was pregnant he told her she was in a relationship and chose me, he told her to have an abortion because it was destroying his future
She said she was scared. And that she didn’t knew about us. I don’t think that’s true..
Anyways
I think it’s her decision to say, but he also deserves to know
I will not interfere but our children deserve to meet each other
What I don’t understand is why she did contacted me? Bc of the revenge, gealosy envy..?
Should I do something? Any advice?
And in the period he cheted me he took potency pills
What about when they leave you for someone else? He didn’t work for 18 months, I made him get a job and within 4 months he was gone. Went to live with her rent free for a few weeks. They’re no longer living together but still in touch/ seeing each other. He got sacked for lifting his hand to her within a few weeks of leaving here.
The first 2 years with me were a rollercoaster but the last 3 since our son was born we’re pretty stable but still toxic.
Was he just bored??
Bored and wanted excitement. Probably. He may have been looking for someone different than the dynamic you both had. This give him balance. Cheating creates excitement and drama. For the Cheater, they get to live in fantasy land and escape from reality. But what they don't know is when they leave the reality for the fantasy, the fantasy becomes their new reality and they get bored AGAIN.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE thanks! He came back to me briefly saying I was his true love and chasing me. Then she moved away and now he’s back to chasing her. He enjoys spending time with me as a family but I’m done being used. He’s lost that passion for me and I’m ready to try and heal my own shit. You’re videos are brilliant thanks for helping me understand this mind fuckery.
Hello. I just discovered your channel. Thats a great video, thank you for putting this out, you’re amazing. I wonder now after listening to this, what people should to do for you not getting bored? In your opinion. I want to know what bored means to you. Thank you!
It's not up to others to cure our boredom. We have to find healthy outlets and hobbies.
Boredom to me is cronic emptiness.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE thanks for your answer.
Because they think they can f u period. Don't want to get caught though
My ex covert narc never cheated tbf. Sge wasnt even interested in sex 😂
Not saying she did, but you can emotionally cheat as well.
Because she got it elsewhere my friend.
@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Yes that I think def but she hated sex ...Doesn't mean she wasn't in contact with anyone in disgard
Narcs are funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I don't like them don't get me wrong but I actually see them as interesting. They dobweird shit all the time then act cluless about it , I was with a narc and %99 of the time was a wtf moment! I must admit they are a little funny
Haven't found it yet, but maybe you can talk about things that make you happy. Does anything make you happy?
I have not done a specific video on that. Noted.
I think it would be cool if your ex-husband had a channel and shared his side of the experience.
He would never be honest bc he doesn't want his parents to know about himself. As for his feelings. I have talked to hundreds of husbands and boyfriends about their side. So, I have a good idea how my husband felt about me.
Mentally ill
Yes, NPD is a mental illness. Do you run up on people is wheel chairs and tell them they can't walk?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEprobably
That's not always true about the needs part.
Speaking from experience?
Who is sam, is he on youtube? I would like to check out his vids too
Sam Vaknin
FYI...your voice sound level is too low. So you can't be heard. Other vidoes are fine so it's not me.
I didn't have a mic in my earlier videos.
Just looking for fresh fuel!
HG Tudor much?
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE A little!🙂
Ockey...
I wanna cheat
Careful cheating on a narccicist.they will put you at war forever
@@shaniecegullison I was already killed in a war and brought back to life.✨
@@shaniecegullison I know Shaniece, you're right...I am just kidding.
@@surfshack2 sorry to hear that
I am glad you survived
I know its tempting
They literally destroy you until you are a shell of yourself
Neglect you and it’s tempting but it backfired on my ass soooooooo bad
If there is anything I can say it would be I tegret it nd should of just left
But it didn’t happen that way
He almost killed me
@@surfshack2 it’s tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine
I understand you
You want better
You are starving for better and it never gets better
I understand you want to just be loved and wanted
You make fun of the most disgusting energy, my girlfriend put eye drops in my tea, then had to take me to bed. She then went out with someone else. 13 h later I awoke. You are not clever this is not funny this is not stuff to play with. I could be dead now. What's wrong with your mind. Two years ago she put eye drops on my birthday cake and raped me, while she was completely infected . She did this so I could never leave her. Now I am alone and afraid for my life. None of this is to be made fun of. She is telling people I am crazy not well in the head. Her daughter is her helper in this sickness. You need to give heart to the victims of narcissist abuse. My name is Stuart Ferreira karoo South Africa. I am59 and afraid to leave the house, yet on Saturday she will be at the market place and loved by all. How is it that you can find this amusing. My life is in danger because of someone just as you are. No heart.
I've never poisoned anyone. By the way...this information is to warn people. If you don't like the way I do it, go away. But you offering your own experience IS helpful in warning others too.
Mr Chicken never cheats 🐔
I have never cheated on Mr. Chicken with another puppet.
The story she told me was that yeah she was still friends with her boyfriend and helped him out because he's blind but she made it clear to him that they weren't in a relationship and that she just "wasn't looking" so its fine if they keep doing relationship stuff.
I asked her about all this whrn she started talking to me and she explained it away and I was like fine... he did not see it that way. He made people in our mutual circle think she cheated on him with me and I didnt care and that I was a home wrecker and im just like yo im just reciprocating feelings and its wonderful and fuck off.
When she got rid of me after I found out she cheated but I didn't confront her I was kind of just observing and hanging around. I could tell she was trying to get me to break up with her and I almost did but then I'm like nah im not gonna let her make me fulfill her prophecy of everyone abandoning her. Im gonna stick around.
But she did harshly bail on me. She told me she was a narcissist and played me. I already knew... I told her this is self destructive and impulsive and she was creating chaos.
She said "no you were the impulse." ... but he took her back. That conversation he was listening to of course, always triangulating. He heard us say a lot of things that were pretty unforgivable... she basically confirmed 3 times she cheated on him and he still took her back.
Was wild... I still feel sad because I really wanted to show id never abandon her even when she's creating such toxicity... but it didn't matter.