The first story is a perfect example of why you need a front dash cam a back - cam. Because people like that are crazy. And they're so many scams out there.
@@devlynandlink You think right. My older cousin was driving at night And she came up behind a car. Stopped well behind it. That car went in reverse and slammed into her car. And a group of large men got out of the car and started screaming at her for rear-ending them. She was like I ain't getting none of the car. We're calling the cops. So she called the cops and told them that she was being threatened so they showed up really fast. And yes she was definitely being threatening. She let them go on with their complete made-up story. And how their backs are sore and their necks are sore and they're so traumatized that she'd hit them like that. Oh, and they claim that she was calling them racial slurs for Arabic people. Some of which she had never ever heard. Then when the cops came to take her statement she's like oh do you want to see my dash cams that record audio and video. And they went pale and tried to leave the scene of the accident. And her insurance company called her about 2 weeks later and told them that the same group of men had five similar scams running on five different people's insurance. All of them claiming that they had been stopped at a red light and these people backed into them claiming that they were rear-ended. The cops told her that it's a common scam in the last couple years In the city that she lives in. And they always Target single women in cars at night because they think they can intimidate them. The cop said up until about 4 or 5 years ago. This was unheard of in our city and now all the sudden it's happening constantly. So it's very important. My car has front back and internal. So somebody can't claim. I'm on my phone.
@@N0xiety could definitely be made up. And you're right, you still need a dash cam. Honestly the fact that this story is made up and people would lie about such things is good. Reason why you need a dash cam.
That’s why I always tell my mother to get a dashcam and one for the back of her car cause she got rear-ended twice, one she got money from the other driver to fix it, the other got nothing and the old AH drove home happy. But, even tho I love my mother very, very much and would do what I can for her. She’s the most annoying, stubborn B- in my family. She’ll get upset if you buy her something she wants, but unable to get herself.
For the last story, my mom explained it to me as the spouse who is pregnant has to provide a dna test that it’s the military spouse’s child. Since he is on deployment, she would have to give birth at a military hospital to compare blood to. They take your blood when coming into the military. But once proven that it’s not the military spouse’s child the process of divorce can happen, once the military spouse is back in country
All legal processes get paused while deployed. Divorces, lawsuits, unserved warrants, etc. The default way a child born during deployment is handled is: the spouse is allowed to use tricare to cover medical expenses; a parent is expected to enroll the child in DEERS; the soldier is expected to provide for both the spouse and the child. If the soldier suspects cheating, they can file paperwork to have the divorce process begin. This includes stripping the spouse of access to military facilities, insurance (tricare), and non-BAH pay. If the child was born at a military medical facility or the soldiers name was put on the birth certificate, this is where an investigation into parentage begins. If that investigation shows that it is possible the soldier is the parent of the child, blood is drawn for genetic comparison. If the child is the soldier's, they keep their benefits. If the child is not the soldier's, they are removed from DEERS, and their benefits end. Edit: I keep saying "soldier" out of habit (U.S. Army, 20 years), but the process is pretty universal for sailors, Marines, coasties, airmen, and guardians (collectively "troopers") alike.
@peterhobson3262 As of OEF/OIF, joint forces groups are referred to as troopers. I had the misfortune of being attached to a Cav unit when it was announced. -68W24/13B24, USA (Ret)
I saw a judge Judy clip of a pair of thieving dummies who did something very similar. It was one of the few times JJ genuinely laughed (and obviously ruled against them) brilliant!
For the final story I think OP was referring to how much technology had changed over the that time. Five or ten years ago keeping in touch with family was very hard and limited, but now he was able to clone his wife’s phone and see the cheating in real time.
The only problem is, I think you need access to the phone to "clone" it. I think even installing malware that would allow him to see her SMS messages would require her to open an attachment to a message he sent her.
S1: The loser dad telling them what the drink was before realizing that he shot himself in the foot reminds me of a small clip of Judge Judy about a stolen wallet. The girl was listing off what she had in it, but one of the idiots who claimed they didn’t steal it said “there was no earpiece in it”.
What was even better with that episode is that Dumb and Dumber (as Judge Judy called them) still had no clue that they had incriminated themselves after she gave her verdict!
Drunk walking story: Given that AD actually followed you home and now knows where you live, I think I would have pressed charges on top of what he was already facing to convince him to stay away from me. Payroll story: Idiots! You NEVER allow just one person to control a vital system. You always have a backup in place. Cheating story: Yeah, the military has some very strong regulations concerning family abandonment. But given the circumstances and the proof OP had, I suspect he could have gone to the JAG corps to prevent himself from being charged and get things set up for the divorce when he returned.
RE: the last story, No, I don't think the military does that. Command will often step in if they hear one of theirs is mistreating their family, but they also don't take too kindly to spouses that cheat on their deployed spouse. She would have left the details of her cheating out if the phone call to command.
When he said the command knows what's going on I think he means he informed the command of the affair and presented him with the proof of her infidelity and since they didn't have and children together then he has 0 obligations to her even though they still are legally married he cannot be forced to help her and be forced to not be near her to actually initiate a divorce when there's no children involved
@@demarcusbennett6906yes but as long as they’re legally married he has to provide at least a roof (he did; she chose not to live there), basics (he did; she spent it on purses) so he fulfilled his obligations until he was able to divorce her. His leadership couldn’t intervene because it was a civil matter, but they could advise him of all that and make sure he was ok, which sounds like they did.
Of course the wife did not say anything about cheating. And the military will step in an DIRECT the servicemember to at a minimum send the the basic allowance for housing. Anything other than that is considered to be civilian jurisdiction.
The military expects that you take care of your family. It's not that they expect you to care for another mans kid if you were cheated on, but when you're deployed it can be difficult to prove your side of a story if your wife is making up lies.
That and some states (I know Texas for sure) have laws where if you’re married, it doesn’t matter who you’re pregnant by, that baby is the married partners.
@@Yumao420 I don't know which idiot lawmaker came up with it, but I know a woman who's ex-husband used it to get revenge on her and a couple other people. The husband was abusive, my friend left him and was trying to get a divorce. She'd been separated from him for a couple years and he was dragging everything out when she started dating this other guy. The other guy knew everything, so this wasn't a shock. (For the record, I knew the husband and him being an abusive a-hole is totally not surprising.) Well, she got pregnant by the bf and they were going to let another friend, who couldn't have kids of her own adopt her. Well ex-husband used the fact that the state considers him the father (in spite of paternity tests) to drag the divorce out longer and delay the adoption for a year. Finally my friend's lawyer convinced the judge to push the divorce and adoption through because they finally got evidence of him gloating about his intentions. This was 20+ years ago. The baby is all grown up and graduated from university. Yes, realizing how long ago this all happened makes me feel old.
13:35 in some states a married man is assumed to be the father of his wife’s child. Without a DNA test the husband is on the hook for whatever expenses the child incurs.
I would think that since he was deployed and took actions to separate their finances and limit contact with her because of the infidelity, he could make the argument that they were separated. I think he’d still have to get a paternity test and go to court to have a judge rule it’s not his kid. An old coworker of my ex had a kid with his live in gf whose divorce wasn’t final. He gad to go to court to have the judge order his baby was his own instead of her ex’s.
Also, technology was not that advanced if it had just been a little bit further in the past, so OP would have never found out in time to save himself. He literally would have come home to a strangers child and his cheating wife with his bank account being empty. At least that is what I think, because without modern tech it was way wasier to hide stuff like that. Thank goodness OP lices in the modern era and was able to avoid that.
It's sometimes based on birth certificate so he's not there for the birth He probably wouldn't be added as the father of the child.( I am pretty sure that it can be changed in deforce preceding with the birth certificate just being a default)
No... He was a US soldier... They're only paid to be thrown away. And if they happen to survive deployment, they'll get abused until they die on the streets with no one remembering them. The US legal system doesn't respect their soldiers even a little bit. You can be deployed in an active war zone for 1 year, get home to your wife just having given birth, and be legally considered the father and responsible for that child...
*Last Story:* I never understood why anyone would be stupid/insane enough to commit adultery with the partner of a soldier. Are they asking to be put in the hospital/morgue? Even if the soldier exercises restraint when it comes to violence, the _lawyers_ of the US Army are probably no joke in the courtroom. Also, while I'm not religious, I'd definitely pray for that affair child's well-being for being stuck with an adulterous, wife-beating sperm donor.
"Do you want to press charges?" "No, he just tried to destroy my life on a total whim and could have potentially gotten me put in jail. No need to be mean to the guy."
@@cynister7384 Most of the malicious compliance / pro revenge ones do. "I work at the Flibflab company making flubdubs. In comes this new hotshot manager and tells me I'm fired. Jokes on them, I'm the only one who knows how to configure the grobblenobber to integrate with the flubdubs. They called me back at 10,000X my normal salary, the manager was banished back to the ninth circle of Hell, and my wife totally came back and said it was all her fault we broke up."
When will people learn that if someone's willing to knowingly cheat WITH you, they're very likely to also cheat ON you eventually? Doesn't matter whether they're the one in the relationship, or the "other man/woman". It also doesn't matter what they say or how good they are to you, chances are high they treated their other partner(s) similarly. Especially if they were/are married.
i think it comes from a "but i'm special" narssistic point of view, where these people do know about that statistic, but they just assume that they are different, that such a thing would never happen to them. its the same mindset that has people out here voting away their rights and protections because they think that the consequences will never touch them. its the classic "person who voted for leopards eating people's face party, crying 'but i didn't think the leopard would eat MY face!'" its "person dating a cheater crying 'but i didn't think they'd cheat on ME!'"
Military story: If I was married to a military man he wouldn’t have to worry, other than more shelves for books, video games, and anime to pop up I’m a very boring person that she only wants to stay at home bc she’s so much of an introvert that way I hate people, I hate going out, and will avoid it as much as possible If I have to, I’m lucky I don’t have a panic attacks I would be home almost all the time either reading, writing, or playing my video games and maybe a few pups so I won’t get bored
Same! I'm in a relationship with a guy in the military and he's currently in another country and he knows I'm not going to cheat. As I tell him all the time "I don't like anyone, I barely like you sometimes, I go to work and I come home, I don't wanna deal with the world's stupidity most of the time". He knows the only thing I'd ever cheat on him with is a bag of chips and a movie
@@thekathrynwest yeah when I have to order groceries I just pay the extra for the people to drop it off, I just open the door and say go ahead and just throw it in I’ll pick it up later And that’s what usually happens Only time I really go out is me having to drive my car so it can still run when I need it to, and that’s like once or twice a month
So relatable 😂I never saw the point in going out if I didn't have to and when I do it's I ride my bike through the forest or smth. I mostly stay indoors and play games, tinker on pc parts or do chores like cleaning up the house, taking care of garbage and so on.
In most states and in the military you can’t get a divorce while the woman is pregnant, it’s considered family abandonment. The law was not written with wiggle room in regards to cheating so usually it has to wait until the child is born. It is possible to dna test before the baby is born but it’s generally not a good idea.
Technically speaking, when the wife in the last story called his Command, they weren't technically divorced yet... so, yes, technically, it would still somewhat have been his responsibility to provide for his spouse.
For the last story and RSlash: When you are serving in the military, you are expected to be a model soldier who does everything right by military standards and If you abandon your pregnant wife or leave your husband and kids behind, that's not a good look on the soldier or the military so the military acts accordingly.
Caught a cheater: No, the military does not expect you to support another man's child, but they do expect you to support your wife. Since OP has proof of the cheating, the military will do nothing, because the spouse broke the vows and will be divorced as soon as OP is home.
Story 2: Ah, typical sexist workplace, screw over all of the women while the men get a large amount of money without the work. Honestly, all of those guys need to be replaced since they're that terrible and incompetent
I was kinda hoping that all women would quit working there just to see what would actually happen to the business. Sexist or not I'm just curious to knowing what would happen if all employees quit. Would the men be begging them to come back? Or would the business fail? Or would they beg begging for all the information on what to do with the system?
@@amalieshelby don’t know why they didn’t honestly must be in a country that is more sexist to women in the workplace. Of course that can be anywhere but the US and EU have laws for that
@NovaG0 No, actually. "WoMeN dO iT tOo!" doesn't work here. Pay inequality is one of the primary issues women face in the economy. If you're pissed about the "Woke Agenda", it's probably because you contribute to the problems.
@@MrCrunchytime ....lol um...woman can do that to men and other women. I fully believe the equal rights and I know that there are women out there who get paid more than what my dad does working for the government. So that's not 100% true. Plus most women want the pay not the real work like men in the story.
Police in one of the cities in my state once got a class action filed against them because they would charge bar patrons leaving the bar with public intoxication. They even pulled pepole out of taxis and waited at bus stops to literaly pass out fines.
Yeah, that's entrapment. Happened to a guy I knew and it ruined his life. Because he was drunk going to his buddy's car from the bar, he lost his cool and got extra charges tacked on for knocking the officer's gun off his holster onto the ground. The stay in jail cost him his job and thus health insurance, and he died a few months later after he burst a vein in his throat and went home from the hospital because he couldn't afford the health care and didn't want to impose that on his family. He was a great guy, I wish he had told us more of what he was going through at the time.
Military wife here... yes, our men in uniform get screwed over by their wives while deployed all the time, and military rules do make them keep paying for a portion of her living expenses until the divorce is finalized. (Our troops are held to a pretty high standard as part of UCMJ, or military law, it's relaxed a little over the years but still a very high standard.) This woman is a stereotypical spouse and the reason why me and many others will tell you that we strongly dislike other wives. The wives' "club" is seriously reminiscent of a girl's only boarding school, holy drama batman. I tease my husband that he's behind in the NCO "club", no divorce, no second marriage, no child support, and no alimony payments, and he's almost to retirement.
In the military, you are expected to provide for any dependents you have. Married enlisted literally get extra money specifically for said spouse, more for kids, and typically "cola" (cost of living allowance) too. That all doesnt even include BAH either, which you also receive when married or if you have kids (unmarried/no dependents usually have to live in barracks on bases). You can also receive paperwork, or be discharged for cheating on your spouse or abandoning dependents that are listed on your paperwork. I could also get in MAJOR trouble if I were to cheat on my husband, who is enlisted. It's a two way street for the most part.
@@silly_stars i would asume that op was refering to it beeing realy hard to do what he did to confirm the cheating and with having that confirmed i asume he would not get in a massive amount of trouble aftherward.
How could you get in trouble the military has absolutely no control over you if you're not enlisted nor an officer. I'd like to see specifically the proof otherwise you're full of crap
@@KodibearIndigo your getting money from the government for following certain policies (married, kids, etc.) by you breaking away from that and still getting money your technically stealing the money.
The employer Story: sorry.. But WHY Was she doing the work? To what end? As soon as they hired this male Manager she should have just STOPED doing HIS WORK. I mean, what could they do?! Nothing! Because nowhere in her contract is written that she has to do HIS work!
@@sourisvoleur4854 ha? HOW do you get payed then? Don't you sign any contracts?! Never? Like "you work this and that hours for this and that pay. And your job title is this and that" You don't have that?!
They definitely would have fired her, considering they fired other women who worked there for dumb reasons as ops friend says they would have found some dumb reason to fire her.
@@fandomtrash7505 as the story tells, they did fire her in the end anyways. But that's not the point. Why would she do the work knowing, she won't earn anything from it? She should have just searched for a new job as soon as they fired the old manager and quit as soon as they implemented the new manager and denying her any raise for what she did while stepping in and doing the managers work.
Final story: Yes you are required to pay for your spouse or more specifically your dependents housing even if they are cheating on you while in the military. You receive a housing allowance (BAH) or OHA if you’re overseas based on your rank, zip code and dependent status. If you have dependents you receive extra housing allowance because you’re likely to need a larger place and utilities are likely more. That additional allowance is required to be used on your dependents housing needs and you could get in trouble for not doing that.
Well another thing is that there is no infidelity allowed cheating at all can cause her to lose all support from the military and he can divorce her without any worries what soever however being cheated on and proving it could cause his chain of command in having his back in not taking care of her at all
The first story, I don’t know the Illinois laws as it pertains to “Unmarked Crosswalks”, but in California if you are going through a residential neighborhood you have to treat each intersection as having a crosswalk, marked or not. If the family was crossing mid block that is another question. I found out about this aspect of the law when reading about a young actress that was hit by a car while on an unmarked crosswalk walk. Being a retired regulatory officer, I Googled it and the language was quite plain. Just another aspect that might not be clear, even though that in the situation depicted it wouldn’t apply.
I used to live in California and I never heard of that being a law. I was also never told that in my driver's ed clas or by the instructor. That must be a new law.
@@amalieshelby It isn’t new, just not made aware of, and not told in defensive driving classes. That original article was from about 10 years ago. If it wasn’t for my training to read regulations because of my former job, it would have been hard to find or realize. Just like before the changes to the stop sign laws and bicycles. The bicycles claimed that they weren’t vehicles, but the definition of vehicle for that regulation included bicycles and probably still does. If you have a question about what is covered in a regulation go to the definition section which is forward of the text of the regulation.
Rslash, you can't not support your dependents while still married. Support isn't all your money, you're supposed to provide housing, water, electricity, food allowance.
Agreed, several parts of the story just sound really fishy, including how the drunk somehow knew where OP lived. Unless they already knew OP there's no way they could have tracked them down.
yeah it sounds very fake, but the message that you should get a dashcam is very real. also press charges when you can and especially do so if the crazy knows where you live.
In the military, no matter what, cheating, conception of another on the spouse(non-military side) you are expected to continue to care for a person up until you are divorced.
Last story, she might have been trying to claim that OP was abandoning her for no reason, hoping they would force him to provide support. But since OP's commander already knew the full situation, he wasn't forced to do anything. That's my guess.
About the military wife. No she was being dishonest. If OP had been her only source of income and OP had decided to leave her while overseas and frozen the accounts for no reason she might've had a stronger case.
The Entitled Army Cheating Wife story reminded me of the story, where the wife was doing the SAME THING against her Army soldier husband, except she accidentally sent the text message meant for her affair partner to the husband! Other than that, this sounds like the same story I heard on Be Amazed.
Last story: Dabney, in most states if a woman gets pregnant by another man during the marriage the husband is assumed to be the father and is put on the birth certificate. He is considered the legal father and could be forced to pay child support unless he petitions for a paternity test and then would have to get his name taken off the birth certificate.
Regarding the last story as someone who's been around the military my whole life. What he meant is that 10-15 years ago the military didn't have the communications for deployed soldiers it does now so he would have been out there with no clue about what was happening back home. By the time he DID get home it would have been too late for him to do anything and he would have been stuck
13:21 oh yes, it can happen and has happened. The meme of the day during the early GWOT years, was how many service members would come home to a six month old baby or a wife whose ready to pop despite the fact the service members were deployed for 12 to 24 months. It gets more wild when you pull up stories of those serving in Desert Storm, Vietnam, Korea, WWII and further. Infidelity and long separation while serving goes fairly hand in hand. Not always, it’s not a golden rule. But every time I’ve deployed and/or returned home, there are at least two divorces.
Last story: It's not that the military expects you to pay for someone else's kid, it's that marriage, property ownership, and divorce are CIVIL proceedings. it's pretty hard to file paperwork with your local government when you're not in the country. Even if you can do court over zoom, which may or may not be available in a given area, there are things which you need to be there in person for.
So for the last story: Ita not just if the spouse gets pregnant, a military spouse is entitled (in the eyes of the military) to a percentage of the soldiers income. If the military finds out a soldier is not supporting their spouse (without cause) they can get in a lot of trouble. OP did the right thing by keeping his command in the loop on what was happening
Last story: @rslash, What makes this a problem is that she is still listed as OP’s dependent and you don’t have access to the full array of things you normally do when deployed so on paper you must still provide for your dependent until it’s updated in the system that they are no longer your dependent. The cheating aspect of it isn’t really the military’s concern unless it’s the service member who is the cheater.
I'm an ex-military wife and my ex cheated on me. Technically he still had to send me like housing and food money because I was a stay-at-home mom dependent on him. But he didn't have to send me anything extra he just had to make sure I still had money to pay bills and what not and have food. I'm not sure if it would be different for someone who did not have any kids. But I don't understand why he said he couldn't get a divorce because mine was able to file for divorce overseas.
The military member can waive the proceedings under the Soldier Sailor Relief Act. So they can get divorced while overseas, but they cannot be forced to get divorced while overseas.
Story 3: Oh no, consequences. She went after the AP because he apparently has better s3x, and it went as badly as one would expect. The dude is an abusive cheater, OP is angry at her, and the cheater of a wife basically lost everything. I've actually seen posts where wives of deployed men cheat or do something close to cheat, like is this a common occurrence?
Unfortunately yes. It’s very common. To the point where there’s a custom of sending a photo around the base of the cheater, to “make them famous.” FYI, the pictures are nsfw.
Unfortunately. Though very few actually stay loyal. My mom has so many stories of when my dad was deployed and she witnessed many of the groups wives cheating and she would literally call them out on it infront of the husband (usually she would talk to them individually and have my dad talk to the husband's before saying anything in their faces. But anyways, my mom couldn't stand those women. She only associated with the loyal wives and was cautious with new wives.
Unfortunately, soldiers are deployed for long periods of time and sometimes their partners cheat. Not everyone behaves like that, but it’s common. It’s also very frowned upon and can ruin your life and career. For the military spouse who commits infidelity, their actions can have ramifications for their military career. Adultery is viewed as a breach of the military’s core values, and it can affect their reputation, credibility, and standing within the military community. Depending on the circumstances and the military branch’s policies, disciplinary actions can impact their career advancement and opportunities for promotion. You can also be thrown off base. (Wikipedia)✌🏽
Yes…adultery is a very common issue in the military so common that it’s punishable under article 134 of the UCMJ (uniform code of military justice) with dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of of pay, and one year confinement, for service members that commit it, I don’t know if it applies for the dependent spouse of a service member.
Story 1: Granted, he WAS drunk- but imagine exaggerating what happened to get someone arrested, and when the person speaks the truth, you're like "THAT'S NOT TRUE-". So it's okay for you to lie, but when someone tries to clear the lie, that's not okay.
I know of a similar story to the military one. When I was in the military, one of the guys in my platoon told us about a letter he got from his Fiance back home. His Fiance had moved another guy into the apartment he was paying for, basically the same week he shipped out. The letter basically said she was dating this guy, but she still loved him and wanted to be with him too. My platoon mate was so lost and confused about what to do, because they had no one near by that could evict her from the apartment or anything, and he was unable to go home to deal with the situation. So he just, had to let her do as she Pleased until he could get home.
Story 1: Public intoxication isn’t a crime in Illinois. You’d think that the cops would know that. Or that they should isolate people before asking them question to be able to compare stories. Also, how did the dad follow OP home if OP was driving and the dad was walking with his family?
While those are all good points, and the story definitely feels fake, there is one thing I need to point out: > "You'd think that the cops would know that." Cops aren't required to _actually know_ what laws they are enforcing. If they _think_ a law has been broken, that is enough to make an arrest, and it's up to your lawyer (or judge if it gets to that point) to tell them their being idiots and to let you go. And that's not to say that they're doing anything wrong, or that they're incompetent, or malicious, just that: knowing all the laws they may or may not be expected to enforce isn't their job.
@@RevokFarthis While that’s true, the public intoxication laws actually make it illegal to make it a crime in Illinois, which a lot of people know about (even if they’re not police officers). Also, in this case multiple officers seemed to have agreed on an imaginary percentage limit for an imaginary crime. And then they went back from their cars to tell OP about the breathalyzer result, which is also a bit uncommon.
@@thisistherevolt A license plate search means that you look up where someone lives. That’s a lot different from following someone home, which was the case in this story.
Marine Vet here. You are expected to provide for your family, you are paid extra just for that. With that said if you can prove shes cheating then ya they dont force the issue usually. That said the 5-10 years ago comment is that not everyone had internet and such(like on my deployment in 2011 the majority of ppl didnt have access except when we hit port) and youd just find all of your stuff gone.
Last Story: Yes, it does happen that wives cheat and claim the baby belongs to the deployed soldier. He has to have extreme proof it's not his(dna, deployment papers, etc), if they are married at time of birth and she puts his name on the b.c., it is 10x worse for him to get it straight. He got lucky and let his c.o. know what was going on, has proof he wasn't there at time of conception. I hope he got back before she had the baby and got a quick divorce and put a stop to his name going on the b.c.
You get more extra pay (In subsistence and housing) in the military (US anyway) if you're married before you go in. I hear so so many stories of people getting married (sometimes knocking up their spouse), getting deployed and are shocked when their spouse leave them or cheats on them. I don't condone cheating at all, but when you abandon your partner that's one thing that can happen.
Marine here, no the military will not force you to pay extra to you wife back home if the baby isn't yours. However, if no one knows its not yours then yes they will both 1) give you an extra stipend for having a child and 2) force you to pay your wife. As long as your still married. The military is to big and busy to have to worry about a service member making a bad name on the organization because they wont do the right thing.
That last story is more common than you think, except half the time service members already have kids with these people. I update dependency data for a living and have to look at these divorce papers. So many of these guys are stuck paying child support, and in some cases I've seen guys close to retirement having to pay their pension
The military expects you to take care of your dependants, but most of the time if you explain what's going on, they do NOT play with the cheating spouses. Even if the soldier cheats & their command finds out about it, you'll get in HELLA trouble
So as a military brat, I kind of know how deployment works my mom has been deployed multiple times so you can’t do anything like a divorce over deployment and this whole cheating thing with soldiers cheating on their partners while they’re deployed and partners cheating on their soldier spouses when they deployed actually happens a lot more than you would think what she did is entirely wrong, but it isn’t unusual when I heard he was getting deployed. I knew exactly where the story was going.
From what i understand growing up in the military, they’re HUUUGE with family stuff. They’re married, military will thoroughly not tolerate being told hubby’s abandoning wifey. But hubby’s got proof of wifey’s cheating. I doubt any respectable CO would help wifey here
Before deployment in the armed services, you technically have to sign a power of attorney while you are gone. So technically the wife could have racked up massive debts, and cleaned his accounts dry. Additionally if he was going to a war zone hazard pay is something like 25-50% in addition to his base pay.
Final Story: To answer your question... yeah, basically. If you're married in the military, you're basically at your spouse's mercy legally speaking. Seen it too many times where a battle buddy gets fucked over by his wife because she cheated and there was little he could do. Something all our Drill Sergeants tried to explain to us in Basic Training was to try and not get married during your first enlistment if your weren't already. Stuff like that is all too common an occurrence. OP is lucky he had a Command Team actually willing to work with him instead of taking the side of the wife.
Last story. R/slash, it's not that the military would have allowed, but the current level of technology is what let OP be able to clone the phone, found out with proof to be covered and also be able to block his bank account while being in deployment
My ex was in the military. During a fight she threatened to have her Commander call my job to get fired! We were not married at the time. I said go ahead! He can't do anything to a civilian! 🤣
The sad thing is that there's a lot of affairs in the military not to mention people marrying young cause being married gives perks. There's a family friend who was one of the faithful military wives, back when her he husband was still in the military after everyone left for a mission or something she said many of wive were leaving to have fun with other men.
Final Story: It's more that depending on the state, sometimes they will force you to pay for the child even if you can prove it's not your kid, it's not an 'always' thing, but it does happen enough times for it to be a potential worry.
Though it sounds crazy, the military does in fact hold it's members accountable for life responsibilities, Navy for 20 years here, each service does so to different degrees. I've even heard the Army will make it's soldiers move out of the house they are renting or buying and live on base if that soldiers house is too messy or in disrepair... it sounds harsh, but it forces the soldiers and sailors to learn to live responsibly.
The military will force you to follow the most recent court order in regard to the divorce. In the case of the op, yes, he was stuck paying for the wife even with the infidelity coming to light until the divorce is finalized.
well, I can top #3. Back in the 80's I worked with a Chief(E7) who came home during Christmas to find his wife with another Chief, we where almost never in port when the other ship was. But on the bright side he kept more of his pay for sharing a wife. Yep they where still married, but with double the income.
I am not sure about other states, but I know in my state a child conceived in a marriage is considered of the marriage until a judge rules otherwise (usually based on DNA), and that you can not obtain a divorce while pregnant.
I don't often say this, but the last story doesn't pass my vibe check as real. For one, dropping 35 lbs in a week is hard. Especially if you're in the military and at a healthy weight. He'd be sent to the infirmary before it ever got that far. The rest of it doesn't sound believable either. How can you clone a phone remotely like that? Yes, spouses cheat, but everything else sounded exaggerated. If anything, this guy got cheated on and made an elaborate dream scenario in which he got revenge.
Lol I made sure to tell the nice lady down the street I wasn’t being a creeper randomly standing in front of her house, it was just the only spot I can hit a Pokémon Go gym without having to risk going onto the main road with bad sidewalks. Now whenever I see her or her little kids they ask how my game is going that day. 😅
The military side, technically you cannot abandon or cut off financial support your spouse/family if they are on your RED/DA (system that you put your dependents on and other stuff ) No matter the circumstances. It wasn’t the fact she was pregnant that they could do something is that he is still responsible for her until they get a divorce. If the spouse goes to the command and complains they have to do something about it. I had a friend once get in trouble for locking his ex-wife out the house. They were going through a divorce and she was threatening to destroy the house. He wasn’t home yet but he had an electric lock that can be locked or unlocked through phone app. He wanted to lock it until he got home (30 mins) away so she wouldn’t destroy stuff. Obviously the cops on his side, but she complained to our command and they had to basically tell him that he cannot do that because he essentially made her ‘homeless’ (dumb we know) and suggest for him to move out ASAP or if he wanted to stay in housing for domestic abused spouses. She was also spending money like crazy but he was able to lock her out the account because she spent money to the point they couldn’t afford their mortgage that month. So he had to provide the bare minimum (food and shelter) until they got a divorce. Funny part is that he disconnected the WiFi, cable or anything fun. So she was just existing in the house that was in shitty service area. Trying to watch videos on her phone that would just stop and go
ARMY Brat here, military personnel are expected to be parents to their kids and spouses to their spouse. HOWEVER, the non-military spouse is expected to BEHAVE properly. There is nothing like the smack down when the non-military husband/wife tries to use their spouse’s rank OR when there is cheating. Most commanders will do what is right for the victim of cheating be it the military or non-military spouse. God help the non-military spouse who FAs on a DEPLOYED military member. Some commanders are amazing at making sure their subordinates are protected from the fall out of a cheating spouse. You know who is a good commander based on how well they protect their boys/girls. OP had a good commander.
Yes you still have to pay her. We get BAH, Basic Housing Allowance, which is predominantly for the spouse and kids to have a place to live. He would have to go to legal and there is a formula based on the number of departments on how much he still has to pay until the divorce is finalized. Marriage is very black and white in the military, reasons for non support of a spouse are nonexistent regardless of the reason or else the military member can face disciplinary action of thr support isn't paid.
With the military, the list is very long on how servicemen get screwed over by unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Heck, a woman can claim the baby is his and the serviceman has to fight to have proof of paternity to stop them automatically docking his pay and giving it to the baby mommy.
Military expects you to provide for your dependents, regardless of the situation. Until they are legally not a dependent, they are your responsibility.
Well technically he did abandon her because the military doesn't really care about separation they only care if you're actually divorced. But then depending on the state you're either currently stationed in or a actual resident of you can't get divorced while the wife is pregnant because you have implied paternity until proven that you're not the father (this is the case in Texas at least) But F that B for saying she needs space from someone that has the molten core of a planet between them.
The military has an ethics standard that you have to meet. Last person i intimately knew in active duty military was a well over a decade ago. So things probably changed. But if you just abandoned your family, (wife and kids), then they could complain and the military could reprimand or even launch an investigation against the active duty member and take a part of their paycheck to send to their family and make sure they weren't left destitute. But it sounds like OP already presented evidence that his wife was cheating before she complained so nothing came from it.
Story 3: i remember this story from when reddit stories on youtube first became a thing, i am curious as to how the OP cloned his then wife's phone from over 10,000 mikes away
The entitlement of some people is ridiculous. To still expect good things from someone you have wronged and then get upset when told "no" is utterly stupid. You don't get to come back crying to the person you hurt just because you're facing the consequences of your bad decisions/actions after things didn’t work out the way you wanted.
The first story is a perfect example of why you need a front dash cam a back - cam. Because people like that are crazy. And they're so many scams out there.
in a world where cameras can record anyone at anytime, one might think that people would smarten up.
@@devlynandlink You think right. My older cousin was driving at night And she came up behind a car. Stopped well behind it. That car went in reverse and slammed into her car. And a group of large men got out of the car and started screaming at her for rear-ending them. She was like I ain't getting none of the car. We're calling the cops. So she called the cops and told them that she was being threatened so they showed up really fast. And yes she was definitely being threatening. She let them go on with their complete made-up story. And how their backs are sore and their necks are sore and they're so traumatized that she'd hit them like that. Oh, and they claim that she was calling them racial slurs for Arabic people. Some of which she had never ever heard. Then when the cops came to take her statement she's like oh do you want to see my dash cams that record audio and video. And they went pale and tried to leave the scene of the accident. And her insurance company called her about 2 weeks later and told them that the same group of men had five similar scams running on five different people's insurance. All of them claiming that they had been stopped at a red light and these people backed into them claiming that they were rear-ended. The cops told her that it's a common scam in the last couple years In the city that she lives in. And they always Target single women in cars at night because they think they can intimidate them. The cop said up until about 4 or 5 years ago. This was unheard of in our city and now all the sudden it's happening constantly. So it's very important. My car has front back and internal. So somebody can't claim. I'm on my phone.
Idk, the first story sounds made up tbh. Not to take away from your point tho, dashcam is always useful to have.
@@N0xiety could definitely be made up. And you're right, you still need a dash cam. Honestly the fact that this story is made up and people would lie about such things is good. Reason why you need a dash cam.
That’s why I always tell my mother to get a dashcam and one for the back of her car cause she got rear-ended twice, one she got money from the other driver to fix it, the other got nothing and the old AH drove home happy. But, even tho I love my mother very, very much and would do what I can for her. She’s the most annoying, stubborn B- in my family. She’ll get upset if you buy her something she wants, but unable to get herself.
For the last story, my mom explained it to me as the spouse who is pregnant has to provide a dna test that it’s the military spouse’s child. Since he is on deployment, she would have to give birth at a military hospital to compare blood to. They take your blood when coming into the military. But once proven that it’s not the military spouse’s child the process of divorce can happen, once the military spouse is back in country
Also, it's pretty difficult to file while he's gone. He literally can't even sign the paper or easily meet his lawyer.
All legal processes get paused while deployed. Divorces, lawsuits, unserved warrants, etc. The default way a child born during deployment is handled is: the spouse is allowed to use tricare to cover medical expenses; a parent is expected to enroll the child in DEERS; the soldier is expected to provide for both the spouse and the child. If the soldier suspects cheating, they can file paperwork to have the divorce process begin. This includes stripping the spouse of access to military facilities, insurance (tricare), and non-BAH pay. If the child was born at a military medical facility or the soldiers name was put on the birth certificate, this is where an investigation into parentage begins. If that investigation shows that it is possible the soldier is the parent of the child, blood is drawn for genetic comparison. If the child is the soldier's, they keep their benefits. If the child is not the soldier's, they are removed from DEERS, and their benefits end.
Edit: I keep saying "soldier" out of habit (U.S. Army, 20 years), but the process is pretty universal for sailors, Marines, coasties, airmen, and guardians (collectively "troopers") alike.
ok but why is no one asking how he cloned her phone?
@@christopherzapata4970 Sailors, Marines, and airmen aren't "troopers". The correct term is "military member". --YNCS(SS), USN (Ret)
@peterhobson3262 As of OEF/OIF, joint forces groups are referred to as troopers. I had the misfortune of being attached to a Cav unit when it was announced. -68W24/13B24, USA (Ret)
Dang it RSlash, you were supposed to say "And this is why you don't mess with the IT girl." for the second story. 😭
Tsk tsk tsk. His misogyny is showing.
...
...
...
(/s obviously)
She was HR not IT 😂
OP: **Says the wrong brand of beer on purpose**
AD: **Tries to correct him**
"Congratulations, you played yourself."
Nothing like one upping someone with information that a innocent person wouldn't have.
I saw a judge Judy clip of a pair of thieving dummies who did something very similar. It was one of the few times JJ genuinely laughed (and obviously ruled against them) brilliant!
Mate you're everywhere
Ooh...Busted!!
Saying yes or no to that question still leaves you in jail
For the final story I think OP was referring to how much technology had changed over the that time. Five or ten years ago keeping in touch with family was very hard and limited, but now he was able to clone his wife’s phone and see the cheating in real time.
The only problem is, I think you need access to the phone to "clone" it. I think even installing malware that would allow him to see her SMS messages would require her to open an attachment to a message he sent her.
@@buggsy5cloud backups maybe?
*ALWAYS. PRESS. CHARGES.*
Someone like that does it to you, he'll do it to someone else, and maybe get away with it then.
Exactly
S1: The loser dad telling them what the drink was before realizing that he shot himself in the foot reminds me of a small clip of Judge Judy about a stolen wallet. The girl was listing off what she had in it, but one of the idiots who claimed they didn’t steal it said “there was no earpiece in it”.
Classic idiots.
That's my favorite Judge Judy episode. 😂
What was even better with that episode is that Dumb and Dumber (as Judge Judy called them) still had no clue that they had incriminated themselves after she gave her verdict!
Drunk walking story: Given that AD actually followed you home and now knows where you live, I think I would have pressed charges on top of what he was already facing to convince him to stay away from me.
Payroll story: Idiots! You NEVER allow just one person to control a vital system. You always have a backup in place.
Cheating story: Yeah, the military has some very strong regulations concerning family abandonment. But given the circumstances and the proof OP had, I suspect he could have gone to the JAG corps to prevent himself from being charged and get things set up for the divorce when he returned.
Yes. Shout it to the audience in the back! Always. Press. Charges!
RE: the last story,
No, I don't think the military does that. Command will often step in if they hear one of theirs is mistreating their family, but they also don't take too kindly to spouses that cheat on their deployed spouse. She would have left the details of her cheating out if the phone call to command.
When he said the command knows what's going on I think he means he informed the command of the affair and presented him with the proof of her infidelity and since they didn't have and children together then he has 0 obligations to her even though they still are legally married he cannot be forced to help her and be forced to not be near her to actually initiate a divorce when there's no children involved
@@demarcusbennett6906yes but as long as they’re legally married he has to provide at least a roof (he did; she chose not to live there), basics (he did; she spent it on purses) so he fulfilled his obligations until he was able to divorce her. His leadership couldn’t intervene because it was a civil matter, but they could advise him of all that and make sure he was ok, which sounds like they did.
can the military clone your spouse's phone without the permission tho? how did he do that?
Of course the wife did not say anything about cheating. And the military will step in an DIRECT the servicemember to at a minimum send the the basic allowance for housing. Anything other than that is considered to be civilian jurisdiction.
The military expects that you take care of your family. It's not that they expect you to care for another mans kid if you were cheated on, but when you're deployed it can be difficult to prove your side of a story if your wife is making up lies.
Yep, exactly. I knew guys in the navy this happened to. That was 20 years ago, so even harder to prove.
That and some states (I know Texas for sure) have laws where if you’re married, it doesn’t matter who you’re pregnant by, that baby is the married partners.
@@morgangriswoldyoung that's mental to think about, who the hell came up with that one?
@@Yumao420 I don't know which idiot lawmaker came up with it, but I know a woman who's ex-husband used it to get revenge on her and a couple other people.
The husband was abusive, my friend left him and was trying to get a divorce. She'd been separated from him for a couple years and he was dragging everything out when she started dating this other guy. The other guy knew everything, so this wasn't a shock. (For the record, I knew the husband and him being an abusive a-hole is totally not surprising.) Well, she got pregnant by the bf and they were going to let another friend, who couldn't have kids of her own adopt her.
Well ex-husband used the fact that the state considers him the father (in spite of paternity tests) to drag the divorce out longer and delay the adoption for a year. Finally my friend's lawyer convinced the judge to push the divorce and adoption through because they finally got evidence of him gloating about his intentions.
This was 20+ years ago. The baby is all grown up and graduated from university.
Yes, realizing how long ago this all happened makes me feel old.
@@Yumao420Texas....
13:35 in some states a married man is assumed to be the father of his wife’s child. Without a DNA test the husband is on the hook for whatever expenses the child incurs.
I would think that since he was deployed and took actions to separate their finances and limit contact with her because of the infidelity, he could make the argument that they were separated. I think he’d still have to get a paternity test and go to court to have a judge rule it’s not his kid. An old coworker of my ex had a kid with his live in gf whose divorce wasn’t final. He gad to go to court to have the judge order his baby was his own instead of her ex’s.
Also, technology was not that advanced if it had just been a little bit further in the past, so OP would have never found out in time to save himself. He literally would have come home to a strangers child and his cheating wife with his bank account being empty. At least that is what I think, because without modern tech it was way wasier to hide stuff like that. Thank goodness OP lices in the modern era and was able to avoid that.
It's sometimes based on birth certificate so he's not there for the birth He probably wouldn't be added as the father of the child.( I am pretty sure that it can be changed in deforce preceding with the birth certificate just being a default)
@@unknowngamer37415you have no idea how the state of Virginia works.
@@kevinpotts123 you are, correct non of the examples I was drawing from where from Virginia.
Last story: idk why she thought it was smart to cheat on a soldier who’s in combat. Their job is LITERALLY to deprive the enemy of nice things.
Agreed 😂 like what was she expecting
No... He was a US soldier...
They're only paid to be thrown away.
And if they happen to survive deployment, they'll get abused until they die on the streets with no one remembering them.
The US legal system doesn't respect their soldiers even a little bit.
You can be deployed in an active war zone for 1 year, get home to your wife just having given birth, and be legally considered the father and responsible for that child...
Last story: Jeff Foxworthy says "I need space" is actually half a sentence. The other half is "without you in it".
A fellow man of extremely good tastes, I see.
I think of that every time I hear the words "I need some space".
*Last Story:* I never understood why anyone would be stupid/insane enough to commit adultery with the partner of a soldier. Are they asking to be put in the hospital/morgue? Even if the soldier exercises restraint when it comes to violence, the _lawyers_ of the US Army are probably no joke in the courtroom.
Also, while I'm not religious, I'd definitely pray for that affair child's well-being for being stuck with an adulterous, wife-beating sperm donor.
"Do you want to press charges?"
"No, he just tried to destroy my life on a total whim and could have potentially gotten me put in jail. No need to be mean to the guy."
Ridiculous
That story feels incredibly fake anyway.
@@cynister7384 Most of the malicious compliance / pro revenge ones do.
"I work at the Flibflab company making flubdubs. In comes this new hotshot manager and tells me I'm fired. Jokes on them, I'm the only one who knows how to configure the grobblenobber to integrate with the flubdubs. They called me back at 10,000X my normal salary, the manager was banished back to the ninth circle of Hell, and my wife totally came back and said it was all her fault we broke up."
idk, seems like unnecessary stress to take on. legal proceedings are tiring
"And now that he knows where I live he can harass me at his leisure and probably worse. Nah, it's all good."
When will people learn that if someone's willing to knowingly cheat WITH you, they're very likely to also cheat ON you eventually? Doesn't matter whether they're the one in the relationship, or the "other man/woman".
It also doesn't matter what they say or how good they are to you, chances are high they treated their other partner(s) similarly. Especially if they were/are married.
TV Tropes listed that infidelity quote in their "Rewarded As A Traitor Deserves" page.
i think it comes from a "but i'm special" narssistic point of view, where these people do know about that statistic, but they just assume that they are different, that such a thing would never happen to them. its the same mindset that has people out here voting away their rights and protections because they think that the consequences will never touch them.
its the classic "person who voted for leopards eating people's face party, crying 'but i didn't think the leopard would eat MY face!'" its "person dating a cheater crying 'but i didn't think they'd cheat on ME!'"
In my state, all kids born between a married couple are automatically determined to be the husband's responsible. Even if it's not his child.
Let me know what state you live in, so I never live there
i think you have like a month or so to challenge that ruling, but after that you are on the hook.
Last story: "I'm deploying..."
Me: He's gonna get Jodied.
Jodied??
@bonefetcherbrimley7740 we call a guy who sleeps with the wife of a deployed man a 'Jody'.
This was my immediate thought as well. Tale as old as time.
Military story:
If I was married to a military man he wouldn’t have to worry, other than more shelves for books, video games, and anime to pop up
I’m a very boring person that she only wants to stay at home bc she’s so much of an introvert that way
I hate people, I hate going out, and will avoid it as much as possible
If I have to, I’m lucky I don’t have a panic attacks
I would be home almost all the time either reading, writing, or playing my video games and maybe a few pups so I won’t get bored
Same! I'm in a relationship with a guy in the military and he's currently in another country and he knows I'm not going to cheat. As I tell him all the time "I don't like anyone, I barely like you sometimes, I go to work and I come home, I don't wanna deal with the world's stupidity most of the time". He knows the only thing I'd ever cheat on him with is a bag of chips and a movie
@@thekathrynwest yeah when I have to order groceries I just pay the extra for the people to drop it off, I just open the door and say go ahead and just throw it in I’ll pick it up later
And that’s what usually happens
Only time I really go out is me having to drive my car so it can still run when I need it to, and that’s like once or twice a month
@@gggamergirl2191 I do the curbside pickup for groceries. I also have PTSD so going inside the grocery store may as well be actual torture to me.
Get a cat. They're less maintenance.
So relatable 😂I never saw the point in going out if I didn't have to and when I do it's I ride my bike through the forest or smth.
I mostly stay indoors and play games, tinker on pc parts or do chores like cleaning up the house, taking care of garbage and so on.
In most states and in the military you can’t get a divorce while the woman is pregnant, it’s considered family abandonment. The law was not written with wiggle room in regards to cheating so usually it has to wait until the child is born. It is possible to dna test before the baby is born but it’s generally not a good idea.
Now I know why he was walking on the side of the road with his family. He's license was taken away for too many DUIs.
Or he's too poor to own/operate a car because he spends all his money on beer...
Surprised he wasn't driving a lawnmower (aka a "DUI Special")
From what I know of military friends, you should never get married before you Get deployed.
Story 1: Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing. Maybe next time Mr. Self Righteous will keep his mouth shut.
Technically speaking, when the wife in the last story called his Command, they weren't technically divorced yet... so, yes, technically, it would still somewhat have been his responsibility to provide for his spouse.
For the last story and RSlash: When you are serving in the military, you are expected to be a model soldier who does everything right by military standards and If you abandon your pregnant wife or leave your husband and kids behind, that's not a good look on the soldier or the military so the military acts accordingly.
Caught a cheater: No, the military does not expect you to support another man's child, but they do expect you to support your wife. Since OP has proof of the cheating, the military will do nothing, because the spouse broke the vows and will be divorced as soon as OP is home.
"She is 10,000 miles away and needs space."
Me: "Is she that fat? :D"
No mercy for cheaters.
Story 2: Ah, typical sexist workplace, screw over all of the women while the men get a large amount of money without the work. Honestly, all of those guys need to be replaced since they're that terrible and incompetent
Same can be said the other way too.
I was kinda hoping that all women would quit working there just to see what would actually happen to the business. Sexist or not I'm just curious to knowing what would happen if all employees quit. Would the men be begging them to come back? Or would the business fail? Or would they beg begging for all the information on what to do with the system?
@@amalieshelby don’t know why they didn’t honestly must be in a country that is more sexist to women in the workplace. Of course that can be anywhere but the US and EU have laws for that
@NovaG0 No, actually. "WoMeN dO iT tOo!" doesn't work here. Pay inequality is one of the primary issues women face in the economy.
If you're pissed about the "Woke Agenda", it's probably because you contribute to the problems.
@@MrCrunchytime ....lol um...woman can do that to men and other women. I fully believe the equal rights and I know that there are women out there who get paid more than what my dad does working for the government. So that's not 100% true. Plus most women want the pay not the real work like men in the story.
Police in one of the cities in my state once got a class action filed against them because they would charge bar patrons leaving the bar with public intoxication. They even pulled pepole out of taxis and waited at bus stops to literaly pass out fines.
Yeah, that's entrapment. Happened to a guy I knew and it ruined his life. Because he was drunk going to his buddy's car from the bar, he lost his cool and got extra charges tacked on for knocking the officer's gun off his holster onto the ground. The stay in jail cost him his job and thus health insurance, and he died a few months later after he burst a vein in his throat and went home from the hospital because he couldn't afford the health care and didn't want to impose that on his family. He was a great guy, I wish he had told us more of what he was going through at the time.
@@RWAsur remember, the justice system hates you, the citzen.
@@lordshaxx4693 Yes.
ACAB
Military wife here... yes, our men in uniform get screwed over by their wives while deployed all the time, and military rules do make them keep paying for a portion of her living expenses until the divorce is finalized. (Our troops are held to a pretty high standard as part of UCMJ, or military law, it's relaxed a little over the years but still a very high standard.) This woman is a stereotypical spouse and the reason why me and many others will tell you that we strongly dislike other wives. The wives' "club" is seriously reminiscent of a girl's only boarding school, holy drama batman. I tease my husband that he's behind in the NCO "club", no divorce, no second marriage, no child support, and no alimony payments, and he's almost to retirement.
Cheating gf texting "you want my leftovers". Lady, I got news about you...
In the military, you are expected to provide for any dependents you have. Married enlisted literally get extra money specifically for said spouse, more for kids, and typically "cola" (cost of living allowance) too. That all doesnt even include BAH either, which you also receive when married or if you have kids (unmarried/no dependents usually have to live in barracks on bases). You can also receive paperwork, or be discharged for cheating on your spouse or abandoning dependents that are listed on your paperwork. I could also get in MAJOR trouble if I were to cheat on my husband, who is enlisted. It's a two way street for the most part.
All that said, yes technically he would have to continue providing for her until the divorce, until he cleared it with his command, which he did
@@silly_stars i would asume that op was refering to it beeing realy hard to do what he did to confirm the cheating and with having that confirmed i asume he would not get in a massive amount of trouble aftherward.
How could you get in trouble the military has absolutely no control over you if you're not enlisted nor an officer. I'd like to see specifically the proof otherwise you're full of crap
@@KodibearIndigo your getting money from the government for following certain policies (married, kids, etc.) by you breaking away from that and still getting money your technically stealing the money.
@@KodibearIndigo He's deployed dude, that means he's enlisted. Pay attention.
The employer Story: sorry.. But WHY Was she doing the work? To what end? As soon as they hired this male Manager she should have just STOPED doing HIS WORK. I mean, what could they do?! Nothing! Because nowhere in her contract is written that she has to do HIS work!
Does she have a contract? I missed that. In the USA, virtually no non-union, non-exec level workers have contracts.
she fed into the propaganda that if you work hard enough your job will reward you
@@sourisvoleur4854 ha? HOW do you get payed then? Don't you sign any contracts?! Never? Like "you work this and that hours for this and that pay. And your job title is this and that"
You don't have that?!
They definitely would have fired her, considering they fired other women who worked there for dumb reasons as ops friend says they would have found some dumb reason to fire her.
@@fandomtrash7505 as the story tells, they did fire her in the end anyways. But that's not the point. Why would she do the work knowing, she won't earn anything from it? She should have just searched for a new job as soon as they fired the old manager and quit as soon as they implemented the new manager and denying her any raise for what she did while stepping in and doing the managers work.
Final story: Yes you are required to pay for your spouse or more specifically your dependents housing even if they are cheating on you while in the military. You receive a housing allowance (BAH) or OHA if you’re overseas based on your rank, zip code and dependent status. If you have dependents you receive extra housing allowance because you’re likely to need a larger place and utilities are likely more. That additional allowance is required to be used on your dependents housing needs and you could get in trouble for not doing that.
Well another thing is that there is no infidelity allowed cheating at all can cause her to lose all support from the military and he can divorce her without any worries what soever however being cheated on and proving it could cause his chain of command in having his back in not taking care of her at all
S4: "Jody's got you girl and gone!" Been there myself, OP. Didn't get the awesome revenge you did but I'm all the better for it. Hang in there!
The first story, I don’t know the Illinois laws as it pertains to “Unmarked Crosswalks”, but in California if you are going through a residential neighborhood you have to treat each intersection as having a crosswalk, marked or not. If the family was crossing mid block that is another question.
I found out about this aspect of the law when reading about a young actress that was hit by a car while on an unmarked crosswalk walk. Being a retired regulatory officer, I Googled it and the language was quite plain.
Just another aspect that might not be clear, even though that in the situation depicted it wouldn’t apply.
I used to live in California and I never heard of that being a law. I was also never told that in my driver's ed clas or by the instructor.
That must be a new law.
@@amalieshelby It isn’t new, just not made aware of, and not told in defensive driving classes. That original article was from about 10 years ago. If it wasn’t for my training to read regulations because of my former job, it would have been hard to find or realize. Just like before the changes to the stop sign laws and bicycles. The bicycles claimed that they weren’t vehicles, but the definition of vehicle for that regulation included bicycles and probably still does. If you have a question about what is covered in a regulation go to the definition section which is forward of the text of the regulation.
Rslash, you can't not support your dependents while still married. Support isn't all your money, you're supposed to provide housing, water, electricity, food allowance.
Story 1 has to be like, the most obvious creative writing prompt I've ever heard
Agreed, several parts of the story just sound really fishy, including how the drunk somehow knew where OP lived. Unless they already knew OP there's no way they could have tracked them down.
yeah it sounds very fake, but the message that you should get a dashcam is very real.
also press charges when you can and especially do so if the crazy knows where you live.
By the Allspark! A new Prorevenge video!
In the military, no matter what, cheating, conception of another on the spouse(non-military side) you are expected to continue to care for a person up until you are divorced.
That is so messed up
1st story: this is why you need to have a dash camera in your vehicle at all times!
As soon as a girl says she needs to "find herself", you know exactly what she's up to.
That means she's helping another guy find that thing that's so hard for guys to find.
Last story, she might have been trying to claim that OP was abandoning her for no reason, hoping they would force him to provide support. But since OP's commander already knew the full situation, he wasn't forced to do anything. That's my guess.
Yes, in the military it is illegal to withdraw spousal support even if they are cheating
About the military wife. No she was being dishonest. If OP had been her only source of income and OP had decided to leave her while overseas and frozen the accounts for no reason she might've had a stronger case.
The Entitled Army Cheating Wife story reminded me of the story, where the wife was doing the SAME THING against her Army soldier husband, except she accidentally sent the text message meant for her affair partner to the husband!
Other than that, this sounds like the same story I heard on Be Amazed.
Last story: Dabney, in most states if a woman gets pregnant by another man during the marriage the husband is assumed to be the father and is put on the birth certificate. He is considered the legal father and could be forced to pay child support unless he petitions for a paternity test and then would have to get his name taken off the birth certificate.
Regarding the last story as someone who's been around the military my whole life. What he meant is that 10-15 years ago the military didn't have the communications for deployed soldiers it does now so he would have been out there with no clue about what was happening back home. By the time he DID get home it would have been too late for him to do anything and he would have been stuck
13:21 oh yes, it can happen and has happened. The meme of the day during the early GWOT years, was how many service members would come home to a six month old baby or a wife whose ready to pop despite the fact the service members were deployed for 12 to 24 months. It gets more wild when you pull up stories of those serving in Desert Storm, Vietnam, Korea, WWII and further. Infidelity and long separation while serving goes fairly hand in hand. Not always, it’s not a golden rule. But every time I’ve deployed and/or returned home, there are at least two divorces.
Last story: It's not that the military expects you to pay for someone else's kid, it's that marriage, property ownership, and divorce are CIVIL proceedings. it's pretty hard to file paperwork with your local government when you're not in the country. Even if you can do court over zoom, which may or may not be available in a given area, there are things which you need to be there in person for.
So for the last story:
Ita not just if the spouse gets pregnant, a military spouse is entitled (in the eyes of the military) to a percentage of the soldiers income. If the military finds out a soldier is not supporting their spouse (without cause) they can get in a lot of trouble. OP did the right thing by keeping his command in the loop on what was happening
Last story: @rslash, What makes this a problem is that she is still listed as OP’s dependent and you don’t have access to the full array of things you normally do when deployed so on paper you must still provide for your dependent until it’s updated in the system that they are no longer your dependent. The cheating aspect of it isn’t really the military’s concern unless it’s the service member who is the cheater.
I lol'd so hard when the father corrected OP about the beer, pretty much confirming what he did. 🤣
I'm an ex-military wife and my ex cheated on me. Technically he still had to send me like housing and food money because I was a stay-at-home mom dependent on him. But he didn't have to send me anything extra he just had to make sure I still had money to pay bills and what not and have food. I'm not sure if it would be different for someone who did not have any kids. But I don't understand why he said he couldn't get a divorce because mine was able to file for divorce overseas.
The military member can waive the proceedings under the Soldier Sailor Relief Act. So they can get divorced while overseas, but they cannot be forced to get divorced while overseas.
Story 3: Oh no, consequences. She went after the AP because he apparently has better s3x, and it went as badly as one would expect. The dude is an abusive cheater, OP is angry at her, and the cheater of a wife basically lost everything.
I've actually seen posts where wives of deployed men cheat or do something close to cheat, like is this a common occurrence?
Unfortunately yes. It’s very common. To the point where there’s a custom of sending a photo around the base of the cheater, to “make them famous.” FYI, the pictures are nsfw.
Unfortunately. Though very few actually stay loyal. My mom has so many stories of when my dad was deployed and she witnessed many of the groups wives cheating and she would literally call them out on it infront of the husband (usually she would talk to them individually and have my dad talk to the husband's before saying anything in their faces.
But anyways, my mom couldn't stand those women. She only associated with the loyal wives and was cautious with new wives.
Unfortunately, soldiers are deployed for long periods of time and sometimes their partners cheat. Not everyone behaves like that, but it’s common. It’s also very frowned upon and can ruin your life and career. For the military spouse who commits infidelity, their actions can have ramifications for their military career. Adultery is viewed as a breach of the military’s core values, and it can affect their reputation, credibility, and standing within the military community. Depending on the circumstances and the military branch’s policies, disciplinary actions can impact their career advancement and opportunities for promotion. You can also be thrown off base. (Wikipedia)✌🏽
And let's not forget who the biggest victim in this is, the affair child. That kid's childhood is gonna be _rough._
There was a morality clause at one point in military contracts. My family member mentioned it to me.
That clause is still there, just not always enforced
Yes…adultery is a very common issue in the military so common that it’s punishable under article 134 of the UCMJ (uniform code of military justice) with dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of of pay, and one year confinement, for service members that commit it, I don’t know if it applies for the dependent spouse of a service member.
Story 1: Granted, he WAS drunk- but imagine exaggerating what happened to get someone arrested, and when the person speaks the truth, you're like "THAT'S NOT TRUE-".
So it's okay for you to lie, but when someone tries to clear the lie, that's not okay.
I know of a similar story to the military one. When I was in the military, one of the guys in my platoon told us about a letter he got from his Fiance back home. His Fiance had moved another guy into the apartment he was paying for, basically the same week he shipped out. The letter basically said she was dating this guy, but she still loved him and wanted to be with him too. My platoon mate was so lost and confused about what to do, because they had no one near by that could evict her from the apartment or anything, and he was unable to go home to deal with the situation. So he just, had to let her do as she Pleased until he could get home.
Story 1: Public intoxication isn’t a crime in Illinois. You’d think that the cops would know that. Or that they should isolate people before asking them question to be able to compare stories. Also, how did the dad follow OP home if OP was driving and the dad was walking with his family?
Sounds like OP would like to know the answer to that as well.
While those are all good points, and the story definitely feels fake, there is one thing I need to point out:
> "You'd think that the cops would know that."
Cops aren't required to _actually know_ what laws they are enforcing. If they _think_ a law has been broken, that is enough to make an arrest, and it's up to your lawyer (or judge if it gets to that point) to tell them their being idiots and to let you go.
And that's not to say that they're doing anything wrong, or that they're incompetent, or malicious, just that: knowing all the laws they may or may not be expected to enforce isn't their job.
License plate search would accomplish both of those.
@@RevokFarthis While that’s true, the public intoxication laws actually make it illegal to make it a crime in Illinois, which a lot of people know about (even if they’re not police officers). Also, in this case multiple officers seemed to have agreed on an imaginary percentage limit for an imaginary crime. And then they went back from their cars to tell OP about the breathalyzer result, which is also a bit uncommon.
@@thisistherevolt A license plate search means that you look up where someone lives. That’s a lot different from following someone home, which was the case in this story.
Marine Vet here. You are expected to provide for your family, you are paid extra just for that. With that said if you can prove shes cheating then ya they dont force the issue usually. That said the 5-10 years ago comment is that not everyone had internet and such(like on my deployment in 2011 the majority of ppl didnt have access except when we hit port) and youd just find all of your stuff gone.
Last Story: Yes, it does happen that wives cheat and claim the baby belongs to the deployed soldier. He has to have extreme proof it's not his(dna, deployment papers, etc), if they are married at time of birth and she puts his name on the b.c., it is 10x worse for him to get it straight. He got lucky and let his c.o. know what was going on, has proof he wasn't there at time of conception. I hope he got back before she had the baby and got a quick divorce and put a stop to his name going on the b.c.
You get more extra pay (In subsistence and housing) in the military (US anyway) if you're married before you go in. I hear so so many stories of people getting married (sometimes knocking up their spouse), getting deployed and are shocked when their spouse leave them or cheats on them. I don't condone cheating at all, but when you abandon your partner that's one thing that can happen.
Marine here, no the military will not force you to pay extra to you wife back home if the baby isn't yours. However, if no one knows its not yours then yes they will both 1) give you an extra stipend for having a child and 2) force you to pay your wife. As long as your still married. The military is to big and busy to have to worry about a service member making a bad name on the organization because they wont do the right thing.
That last story is more common than you think, except half the time service members already have kids with these people. I update dependency data for a living and have to look at these divorce papers. So many of these guys are stuck paying child support, and in some cases I've seen guys close to retirement having to pay their pension
The military expects you to take care of your dependants, but most of the time if you explain what's going on, they do NOT play with the cheating spouses. Even if the soldier cheats & their command finds out about it, you'll get in HELLA trouble
So as a military brat, I kind of know how deployment works my mom has been deployed multiple times so you can’t do anything like a divorce over deployment and this whole cheating thing with soldiers cheating on their partners while they’re deployed and partners cheating on their soldier spouses when they deployed actually happens a lot more than you would think what she did is entirely wrong, but it isn’t unusual when I heard he was getting deployed. I knew exactly where the story was going.
From what i understand growing up in the military, they’re HUUUGE with family stuff. They’re married, military will thoroughly not tolerate being told hubby’s abandoning wifey. But hubby’s got proof of wifey’s cheating. I doubt any respectable CO would help wifey here
Before deployment in the armed services, you technically have to sign a power of attorney while you are gone. So technically the wife could have racked up massive debts, and cleaned his accounts dry. Additionally if he was going to a war zone hazard pay is something like 25-50% in addition to his base pay.
Last guy:
“He’s cheatingggg oh noooo”
Zero pity for OP’s ex
Final Story: To answer your question... yeah, basically. If you're married in the military, you're basically at your spouse's mercy legally speaking. Seen it too many times where a battle buddy gets fucked over by his wife because she cheated and there was little he could do. Something all our Drill Sergeants tried to explain to us in Basic Training was to try and not get married during your first enlistment if your weren't already. Stuff like that is all too common an occurrence. OP is lucky he had a Command Team actually willing to work with him instead of taking the side of the wife.
I'm curios...... has there ever been a good ending after "I need to find myslef". For me, that's an instant "it's over"
Last story.
R/slash, it's not that the military would have allowed, but the current level of technology is what let OP be able to clone the phone, found out with proof to be covered and also be able to block his bank account while being in deployment
My ex was in the military. During a fight she threatened to have her Commander call my job to get fired! We were not married at the time. I said go ahead! He can't do anything to a civilian! 🤣
Uuuuuuh... no? Incorrect? You DO wanna press charges because that drunken psycho FOLLOWED. YOU. TO. YOUR. HOUSE.
The sad thing is that there's a lot of affairs in the military not to mention people marrying young cause being married gives perks.
There's a family friend who was one of the faithful military wives, back when her he husband was still in the military after everyone left for a mission or something she said many of wive were leaving to have fun with other men.
First story: get a dash cam, and also always press charges when able too, never say no to that.
9:50 I swear Rslash did this story before.
Final Story: It's more that depending on the state, sometimes they will force you to pay for the child even if you can prove it's not your kid, it's not an 'always' thing, but it does happen enough times for it to be a potential worry.
Though it sounds crazy, the military does in fact hold it's members accountable for life responsibilities, Navy for 20 years here, each service does so to different degrees. I've even heard the Army will make it's soldiers move out of the house they are renting or buying and live on base if that soldiers house is too messy or in disrepair... it sounds harsh, but it forces the soldiers and sailors to learn to live responsibly.
The military will force you to follow the most recent court order in regard to the divorce. In the case of the op, yes, he was stuck paying for the wife even with the infidelity coming to light until the divorce is finalized.
"I need space!" There's the airlock. Go for it.
well, I can top #3. Back in the 80's I worked with a Chief(E7) who came home during Christmas to find his wife with another Chief, we where almost never in port when the other ship was. But on the bright side he kept more of his pay for sharing a wife. Yep they where still married, but with double the income.
I am not sure about other states, but I know in my state a child conceived in a marriage is considered of the marriage until a judge rules otherwise (usually based on DNA), and that you can not obtain a divorce while pregnant.
I don't often say this, but the last story doesn't pass my vibe check as real. For one, dropping 35 lbs in a week is hard. Especially if you're in the military and at a healthy weight. He'd be sent to the infirmary before it ever got that far. The rest of it doesn't sound believable either. How can you clone a phone remotely like that? Yes, spouses cheat, but everything else sounded exaggerated. If anything, this guy got cheated on and made an elaborate dream scenario in which he got revenge.
Lol I made sure to tell the nice lady down the street I wasn’t being a creeper randomly standing in front of her house, it was just the only spot I can hit a Pokémon Go gym without having to risk going onto the main road with bad sidewalks. Now whenever I see her or her little kids they ask how my game is going that day. 😅
Story one: always press charges that is how they learn
The military side, technically you cannot abandon or cut off financial support your spouse/family if they are on your RED/DA (system that you put your dependents on and other stuff ) No matter the circumstances. It wasn’t the fact she was pregnant that they could do something is that he is still responsible for her until they get a divorce. If the spouse goes to the command and complains they have to do something about it.
I had a friend once get in trouble for locking his ex-wife out the house. They were going through a divorce and she was threatening to destroy the house. He wasn’t home yet but he had an electric lock that can be locked or unlocked through phone app. He wanted to lock it until he got home (30 mins) away so she wouldn’t destroy stuff. Obviously the cops on his side, but she complained to our command and they had to basically tell him that he cannot do that because he essentially made her ‘homeless’ (dumb we know) and suggest for him to move out ASAP or if he wanted to stay in housing for domestic abused spouses. She was also spending money like crazy but he was able to lock her out the account because she spent money to the point they couldn’t afford their mortgage that month. So he had to provide the bare minimum (food and shelter) until they got a divorce. Funny part is that he disconnected the WiFi, cable or anything fun. So she was just existing in the house that was in shitty service area. Trying to watch videos on her phone that would just stop and go
ARMY Brat here, military personnel are expected to be parents to their kids and spouses to their spouse. HOWEVER, the non-military spouse is expected to BEHAVE properly. There is nothing like the smack down when the non-military husband/wife tries to use their spouse’s rank OR when there is cheating. Most commanders will do what is right for the victim of cheating be it the military or non-military spouse. God help the non-military spouse who FAs on a DEPLOYED military member. Some commanders are amazing at making sure their subordinates are protected from the fall out of a cheating spouse. You know who is a good commander based on how well they protect their boys/girls. OP had a good commander.
Yes you still have to pay her. We get BAH, Basic Housing Allowance, which is predominantly for the spouse and kids to have a place to live. He would have to go to legal and there is a formula based on the number of departments on how much he still has to pay until the divorce is finalized. Marriage is very black and white in the military, reasons for non support of a spouse are nonexistent regardless of the reason or else the military member can face disciplinary action of thr support isn't paid.
Once again, a woman forgets the old adage: "If he cheats WITH you then he will cheat ON you"
With the military, the list is very long on how servicemen get screwed over by unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Heck, a woman can claim the baby is his and the serviceman has to fight to have proof of paternity to stop them automatically docking his pay and giving it to the baby mommy.
Sounds like it's just better for military men to not get married at all.
5:00 😂😂😂 yes… welcome to corporate America!
deployed soldiers and unfaithful wives, name a more iconic duo.
Last story: rSlash,it's called Military Intelligence.
DRRRRRR!
LOL
Military expects you to provide for your dependents, regardless of the situation. Until they are legally not a dependent, they are your responsibility.
Well technically he did abandon her because the military doesn't really care about separation they only care if you're actually divorced. But then depending on the state you're either currently stationed in or a actual resident of you can't get divorced while the wife is pregnant because you have implied paternity until proven that you're not the father (this is the case in Texas at least)
But F that B for saying she needs space from someone that has the molten core of a planet between them.
The military has an ethics standard that you have to meet. Last person i intimately knew in active duty military was a well over a decade ago. So things probably changed. But if you just abandoned your family, (wife and kids), then they could complain and the military could reprimand or even launch an investigation against the active duty member and take a part of their paycheck to send to their family and make sure they weren't left destitute. But it sounds like OP already presented evidence that his wife was cheating before she complained so nothing came from it.
Story 3: i remember this story from when reddit stories on youtube first became a thing, i am curious as to how the OP cloned his then wife's phone from over 10,000 mikes away
The entitlement of some people is ridiculous. To still expect good things from someone you have wronged and then get upset when told "no" is utterly stupid. You don't get to come back crying to the person you hurt just because you're facing the consequences of your bad decisions/actions after things didn’t work out the way you wanted.