I'm a new dad (I have two step kids) and I've been a stay at home dad all summer. It's been way harder than I thought it would be and the more the summer drags on the more I find myself getting angry with my kids. I feel like I'm not cut out for parenting. I'm hoping that lots of parents screw up with controlling their emotions. To clarify, I never hit or anything like that. I sometimes raise my voice and find myself being more harsh with consequences in the moment.
yes, great video! why we shout/yell is because of fear. This could be fear of judgment of our own parenting skills, fear of our emotions that we felt as children, fear our childrens behaviour because that mean there's something wrong with or just their behaviour means not a good parent. Also we struggle to stop yelling is because we are so use to this triggered state so it feels familiar so the body/nervous system will bring us back to what feels safe and normal and sometimes yelling feels safe thats all you've know and experienced since childhood.
Thanks for the video. I have a big problem with high expectations, and it is not easy because I easily forget to meet my child where they are. It is a big challenge for sure. 😢
Having my kids smash me in the nose with their heads every week is so triggering. It's so dehumanizing, like I'm not even human or matter.😢. Sometimes it's all just too much
Every word you said is true now how do I fix these expectations? I'm always angry with my kids and husband who keeps blaming their behaviors on me and my anger. I can't tolerate this anymore
This is great advice for dads too… I’m currently binge watching all your parenting videos and I must say I’m very happy to have stumbled upon your videos. It gives me a more in depth look at myself and my parenting as a father. Thank you for uploading such great content on the topic of parenting. 🙏🏽
Thank you for taking the time to explain and discuss this topic and for ultimately helping parents. Emotional intelligence and mindfulness was not a thing in my family growing up and now as a mom I'm realizing that in full force. I grow and learn as my kids do.
I understand some of this but when I tell my kids nicely to not take their food and eat it on my bed to watch the TV in my room a million times nicely, leading to yelling at them not to eat their because I don't want to sleep in their spilled food at night and they blatantly tell me when I tell them to take their food to the table ,"no! Or FFS! Then end up spilling the food on your bed anyway, it's hard to not get in a range. At 12 and 13 I do expect respect. I expect my rules to be followed...off yoir phones at night, get up on time for school, clean up your own mess, help me when I need it. They do nothing and treat me like I'm their slave and refuse to help with most things because God forbid they would have to get off their devices. I've taken them away and that still doesn't work. I don't ask them to do things beyond their level. I could clean everything spot when I was 8. Our entire house by myself. There's no way kids this age can't do dishes.but they refuse. Because kids these days are entitled little AH.
Today i yelled at my kids because I gave them breakfast to eat and they have very limited time for their classes and they were doing chit-chat and didn’t see time and not ready for classes after onwards I got started yelling and my angerness is on beyond my level.
I yell at my daughter because I have told her over 100,000 times in her lifetime the same things over and over...man idc how woke you are. You're going to yell once you get to that point lol
Don’t forget to check out my free resource, "A Simple Guide to Becoming a Calmer Parent" -- www.themompsychologist.com/calmparenting
I'm a new dad (I have two step kids) and I've been a stay at home dad all summer. It's been way harder than I thought it would be and the more the summer drags on the more I find myself getting angry with my kids. I feel like I'm not cut out for parenting. I'm hoping that lots of parents screw up with controlling their emotions. To clarify, I never hit or anything like that. I sometimes raise my voice and find myself being more harsh with consequences in the moment.
Me too😭😭😭
@@thevegantitian this year has been much better. Hang in there.
I’ve been snapping at my 5 year old and I feel guilty afterwards because I know he has done nothing wrong. Little things just frustrate me
yes, great video! why we shout/yell is because of fear. This could be fear of judgment of our own parenting skills, fear of our emotions that we felt as children, fear our childrens behaviour because that mean there's something wrong with or just their behaviour means not a good parent. Also we struggle to stop yelling is because we are so use to this triggered state so it feels familiar so the body/nervous system will bring us back to what feels safe and normal and sometimes yelling feels safe thats all you've know and experienced since childhood.
Thanks for the video. I have a big problem with high expectations, and it is not easy because I easily forget to meet my child where they are. It is a big challenge for sure. 😢
Having my kids smash me in the nose with their heads every week is so triggering. It's so dehumanizing, like I'm not even human or matter.😢. Sometimes it's all just too much
Every word you said is true now how do I fix these expectations? I'm always angry with my kids and husband who keeps blaming their behaviors on me and my anger. I can't tolerate this anymore
Yes reality definitely did not meet my expectations today. Absolutely angry 😫
This is great advice for dads too… I’m currently binge watching all your parenting videos and I must say I’m very happy to have stumbled upon your videos. It gives me a more in depth look at myself and my parenting as a father. Thank you for uploading such great content on the topic of parenting. 🙏🏽
Thank you for taking the time to explain and discuss this topic and for ultimately helping parents. Emotional intelligence and mindfulness was not a thing in my family growing up and now as a mom I'm realizing that in full force. I grow and learn as my kids do.
Doooood I’m adequate and then some. My kid sucks. Straight up. She takes advantage of every kindness. Sometimes you just get a bad seed.
Needed this. Thank you. October break just started for us Friday and I'm already so burnt out. 😩
Thank you for making this video
Such a great video! This really spoke to me, thank you!
this is so important thank you sis i really appreciate this breakdown
Thank you for sharing your knowledge 😊
Wow this was fantastic
Thank you 😊😊😊
I understand some of this but when I tell my kids nicely to not take their food and eat it on my bed to watch the TV in my room a million times nicely, leading to yelling at them not to eat their because I don't want to sleep in their spilled food at night and they blatantly tell me when I tell them to take their food to the table ,"no! Or FFS! Then end up spilling the food on your bed anyway, it's hard to not get in a range. At 12 and 13 I do expect respect. I expect my rules to be followed...off yoir phones at night, get up on time for school, clean up your own mess, help me when I need it. They do nothing and treat me like I'm their slave and refuse to help with most things because God forbid they would have to get off their devices. I've taken them away and that still doesn't work. I don't ask them to do things beyond their level. I could clean everything spot when I was 8. Our entire house by myself. There's no way kids this age can't do dishes.but they refuse. Because kids these days are entitled little AH.
Today i yelled at my kids because I gave them breakfast to eat and they have very limited time for their classes and they were doing chit-chat and didn’t see time and not ready for classes after onwards I got started yelling and my angerness is on beyond my level.
So right on! Oh man it’s tough!! Great video Doc ❤️
Sooooo goooooddd
I yell at my daughter because I have told her over 100,000 times in her lifetime the same things over and over...man idc how woke you are. You're going to yell once you get to that point lol