The Phenomenon of 'Gifted Kid Burnout' | Alena Qin | TEDxYouth@RHHS

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 58

  • @AsmitaSethi2308
    @AsmitaSethi2308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    All my life, I've always got straight A's after only studying during exam days. But now, I seem to have been going through this thing... I failed 3/4 of my mid-term exams. I have anxiety, depression, chronic allergy and eczema causing me to isolate myself for last 4 months. And by isolation, I mean that I haven't attended school, tuition classes and avoided basically all human interactions. I feel too much until numb....

    • @YuukiuuYik
      @YuukiuuYik 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Hang in there friend, youre not alone ❤️ check if your school has free (online) counselling, this happily was an option for me and it worked wonders, even though it takes a bit of courage to reach out at first. I failed some of my exams last year and need to retake them too. It sucks and progressing in life seems very hard when everyone else seems to be used to it by now, but its gonna be okay, somehow. Dont let school define your self worth, we re much more than that, thats something useful to remember. Even if it doesnt feel like its true sometimes, it couldnt be more true. I hope your health problems go away soon too. Fingers crossed for you!

    • @AsmitaSethi2308
      @AsmitaSethi2308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@YuukiuuYik Thank you sm for your support. I'm trying but things get hard when even your family doesn't acknowledge your existence much less your problems. But yeah ... 😕

    • @YuukiuuYik
      @YuukiuuYik 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@AsmitaSethi2308 im sorry to hear that. It must really hurt :( i hope you get through ❤️ sometimes when family fails, support of friends is more valuable, so i hope you have or can find friends who will support you on your journey at least ❤️

    • @AsmitaSethi2308
      @AsmitaSethi2308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@YuukiuuYik🌹💝

    • @samridhisethi9175
      @samridhisethi9175 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can't believe I'm going through ALL the same problems. And what sucks is i know i can fix it, but somehow, i just can't. It really sucks.

  • @srphm_
    @srphm_ ปีที่แล้ว +132

    Gifted kids must be taught by gifted professors. I strongly believe that those who are alike has a better understanding of one another thus result in a healthier system for developing their special needs to cope and adjust to the world's systems

    • @jt_rooster3228
      @jt_rooster3228 ปีที่แล้ว

      HAHAHAHA. Being taught by brokies on how to become a millionaire? No wonder why y’all are dumbasses.

    • @legalfictionnaturalfact3969
      @legalfictionnaturalfact3969 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you for saying this. It's a point of contention. But it doesn't need to be. You are correct. The gifted should teach the gifted. Other people just don't get it and start getting pissy and weird about all kinds of things they don't understand when it comes to teaching the gifted.

    • @vladimirandreevich
      @vladimirandreevich 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It's also worth noting that it's difficult for a gifted kid to respect a not-so-gifted teacher, wich leads to hostility. I remeber getting into a lot of trouble for correcting my teachers' mistakes at school and later on in the university

    • @aidcrazysol3207
      @aidcrazysol3207 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Gifted kids like myself never had to put in much effort, or if ADHD/Curious the effort came natural and/or content came to you easy. As the difficulty increases were realize at a certain point we need to put in more effort however while everyone else was taught to in kindergarten - 3rd grade we are in high school early college trying to figure out how to maintain school life and a job and putting in time for the first time. Second we don't know what is constructive to our learning unlike other kids how figure out what helps them learn from thrid grade at least

    • @A350Airways
      @A350Airways 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@srphm_ I understand that giftedness comes with its own set of special needs. However, is there a sufficient pool of gifted people willing to undergo the training to become educators?

  • @SamirCCat
    @SamirCCat ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I've always been intelligent and have very easy to learn. We don't have gifted programmes in my country, but I believe I am gifted. When I was 16 I had a lot of burnout symptoms from school, due to extreme pressure from myself. "If I can get the highest marks, anything less is a failure". I locked myself in the bathroom in school and had my first panic attack when I got the second highest mark.
    At 16 I started a new school, but I was too ill at that point. I had developed anorexia and had to stop school. 20 years later and I'm stuck with many chronic mental disorders, unable to study, work or live a normal life.
    Still I feel like I chickened out. Took the easy way. To develop anorexia and severe self-harm was EASIER than to live up to my own expectations. I embraced the label of mentally ill to have an excuse to not be perfect and achieving everything. If I was to write a book it had to be the level of a Noble Prize winner. Speaking English? It had to sound like a native, 0% foreign accent. I had so many plans/prisons I installed for my future, and I couldn't live up to it. My "dream" had become a tortyre, and for me it was easier to starve myself to the point of hospitalisation and tube-feeding, or to cut so deep into my leg I damaged my muscle and could hardly walk. It was still easier and better than trying and FAILING the unrealistically high expectations I had for myself.
    My "inner critic" is something my therapists often have talked about. They don't understand it at all. It's not just me having high expectations, it's the fact that I have high POTENTIAL. If I CAN achieve miracles, why would I NOT? I feel I owe it to the world to share my talents, I have so many great things to contribute with. If I knew I sucked at creative writing it would've been much easier to write a book. Because then it CAN'T be a good book. But with my talents I have the potential of writing something extraordinary, so I can't write a single page. I'm blocking and judging myself so much because the text in my head is the best in the world, and what comes out is not.
    I honestly wish I was less talented. It's not a diagnosis to be "gifted", but it sure feels like a very big burden. I handle my ADD better, I've learnt to treat myself kind for that. But my giftedness makes anything that's less than sheer perfection such an embarrassing failure I don't even know if I want to live through it.
    If I end up killing myself in the future it would be because I never published a book and therefore didn't deserve to live. My life would have been nothing but unfulfilled potential and a waste of space.

    • @redtangerine2404
      @redtangerine2404 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I feel the same in some aspects. Everybody been saying that success isnt the only thing that matter in life, but it matter so much to me that it affects everythings else in my life.

    • @SamirCCat
      @SamirCCat 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@redtangerine2404 I think it's easy to say success doesn't matter when you yourself have a decent amount of it. Like richer people saying money doesn't matter, while to poor people money REALLY does matter. It's easy to not focus on it if you already have it to some extent.

  • @dnbnme
    @dnbnme 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I managed to avoid this before finishing school, but the weight of expectations doesn’t just go away after graduation unfortunately

  • @adara9l
    @adara9l 2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    Just had a breakdown/attack over my peer critique partners having better papers than me. Because I couldn’t bring myself to write the paper due to everything not being perfectly formed in my head.

  • @bub0nic_gutzz118
    @bub0nic_gutzz118 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    i decided early on to (instead of letting my mindset settle to a fixed one) decided to rush growth in the places i was excelling even more than my class of gifted kids already was, which in my case was math and arts. i ended up pushing myself too hard and now im taking algebra 1 in the seventh grade and i feel like i have rammed my head into a wall seventy two times and then walked out of the room all smiling and happy though wanting to continue to hit my head into the wall because thats the only thing that gives me comfort- so f*cking great huh. Now my grades and self image are suffering and im slowly drowning in overdue assignments

  • @victoriab7148
    @victoriab7148 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    We didn't have a gifted kid program in our country. But still, I very much relate to the burnt out gifted kid stories. I've always been one of the top students, getting straight A's without even trying, going to all kinds of academic competitions, etc. Biology used to be one of my favourite subjects, so I decided I want to do something in the medical field.
    Now I'm a third year student in university, studying to become a dentist. But things aren't going well at all. Ever since I started private lessons to prepare myself for the entrance exams, I started feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed. It has only gotten worse over the course of the last few years. Now I'm one of the worst performing students, having failed 3 exams and struggling with my practice tasks. I'm so far behind in one of my classes that it is likely I won't even be let to attend the final exam. I dread going to those classes because of my fear of failure. I have nearly no motivation to study or get things better, I just do the bare minimum. If I don't pass all my exams I will have to repeat the year. I'm seriously thinking about quitting.
    On top of that I've struggled with anxiety, both general and social, ever since I was little. And it only makes everything harder.
    I don't know what to do with my life at this point. I hope I can figure things out, but at this point I'm feeling extremely stressed and confused. At the very least, I can be grateful to have very understanding and supportive parents.

  • @bealaurangela
    @bealaurangela ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Currently watching this from the PH. As a teacher, I'm doing a future study on Gifted Students and Academic Burnout in our campus. I'm using this Tedx speech as a reference. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Alena :)

    • @olygarcia9553
      @olygarcia9553 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      A nuestro hijo único dictaminado con un IQ de 145 a los 8 años, nunca quisimos etiquetarlo como genio. Consiguió entrar a uno de los mejores colegios privados del país. Sufrió de bulling en el colegio a pesar de que nadie sabía de su IQ pero nunca quiso retirarse de esa escuela pues era la mejor del país y consideraba un honor graduarse de allí a pesar de todo. Nunca tuvo ningún problema académico pero sufrió con la parte social pues sabía que era diferente a sus compañeros , no compartía ningún interés con ellos y le aburrían . La lectura de libros en inglés( su segunda lengua) era su forma de escapar de la realidad en las clases y me decía que dormía en las clase para abstraerse. La lectura, los deportes , ( esgrima, bicicross,ajedrez, monopatín ) , la música ( violín y guitarra) y los videojuegos fueron excelentes para su desarrollo. Fue un año de intercambio a Canadá y eso fue maravilloso pues tenía que hacer su penúltimo año de bachillerato en un idioma ( francés) que no conocía y eso fue interesante para el. En ese colegio tampoco dijimos nada sobre su IQ. Se graduó con uno de los mejores resultados en las pruebas académicas nacionales y fue aceptado en todas las universidades a las que se presentó pero no se veía seguro a la hora de elegir que estudiar . Se graduó de Derecho sin estudiar mucho y con buenas calificaciones, pero decidió no trabajar en ese campo. Terminó su carrera porque ya estaba muy adelantado y decidió terminarla aunque su último año fue una tortura porque sabía que eso no era lo que quería hacer. Durante sus años de universidad se dedicó a ser montañista, escalador y la meditación , el gimnasio y la música fueron sus grandes compañeras pues nuevamente nunca encajó con el grupo. En la universidad Trabajaba de guía turístico dado que era trilingüe y una vez terminó la carrera decidió dedicarse a su pasión que era la música ( guitarra) . Aprendió a tocar guitarra y todo sobre la música de forma autodidacta y se convirtió en compositor, arreglista y guitarrista de su propia banda . Hoy lo veo feliz haciendo lo que hace y eso es lo más importante. Las persona con altas capacidades tienen infinitas posibilidades pero deben amar lo que hacen y generalmente les gusta aprender sólo sobre lo que les interesa . Son muy sensibles y vulnerables pues sus capacidades sociales no son comprendidas y a veces son inversamente proporcionales a su inteligencia. Hoy veo claro que lo mejor que hicimos fue no etiquetarlo de “genio” y darle muchas herramientas y posibilidades cuando era muy joven para que él mismo con su empeño y pasión pudiera definir su camino. Sigue siendo un lector empedernido , un trabajador obsesivo, sigue amando la montaña y el ejercicio y nunca dejará de ser alguien especial con una inteligencia poderosa.

  • @MilkIsTheDrink
    @MilkIsTheDrink ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I used to be the top of my class for 10 years (all of elementary school, 8 years in my country, and the first 2 years of high school). Then I got teachers I hated and my grades dropped severely. I lost all my motivation to do anything. I find myself average in everything, I don't excell in anything anymore. My whole world came crushing down where my final exam grades were so bad, I didn’t get l accepted in the uni I wanted to go to so I chose another. I quite like this one too, but I just find myself skipping classes and not caring about nothing anymore. I just can't get it together. I feel like I'll fail even my first semester.

    • @redtangerine2404
      @redtangerine2404 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I somewhat feel that. Failure only make me lose my motivation while it is supposed to make me want to work harder

    • @iamnotsadiamdeadinside
      @iamnotsadiamdeadinside 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Dude happened to me, you need to seek therapy and get some medication that may help.

    • @bartlebyscotch
      @bartlebyscotch 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      This was me too. I actually did fail my first semester, not to bring the mood down. Luckily I have great parents and after doing a year at a local state college I went back and eventually graduated from my original college. I’ve held down a good job, but I’ve always felt like I should be doing better. My emotional coping skills aren’t great either, but I’ve been in therapy for a couple years and I’m trying to work on better emotional management.

  • @Zamzami-w3g
    @Zamzami-w3g 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    It was so helpful now i figured out the what's wrong with me is actually my fixed mindset& its not my ability that are useless tysm

  • @ashleyching5786
    @ashleyching5786 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you, Alena!
    You are so worthy no matter what!!!

  • @A350Airways
    @A350Airways 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    And it's even more painful when one has a form of autism... and I experienced gifted kid burnout in a PhD program, at a later stage of education than a lot of people who experience it. So while I didn't necessarily feel the need to perform perfectly all the time, I still had a lot of expectations placed on me.
    However, before I actually got to the burnout, I was thrown into increasingly concentrated academic environments (first, a magnet program in high school, then studying physics as an undergraduate, and as an upperclassman, I was made to feel like a lot of people around me were just as good as I).
    At one point, I was made to feel like the only way I could get better in a certain academic area that I didn't already try would have required me to date someone better in that one area than I myself was, especially knowing where that area fit into my future in the field, and then I viewed what girlfriend I could have as some sort of dual-purpose lifeline: she would have filled my romantic void as well as an academic one.
    Yes, growth mindsets can help, but growth mindsets have their limits; you must be mindful of what your own limits are as well. This is where knowing when to give up will help you most.

  • @NegativeAccelerate
    @NegativeAccelerate ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Literally went from straight A's, highest IQ in schools history represented my country in numerous maths competitions to failing high school maths.
    I dont know what went wrong. I feel like im still trying rly hard but I just lost all of my intelligence.

    • @rebelliouslogic2705
      @rebelliouslogic2705 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same here.. I placed 3rd in my state with reading and comprehension. Now I'm 45 and for the last 10 years I can't even remember anything. As a child I may have started dumbing myself down so that I would not be exposed as a fraud and to be "normal"😢

  • @chim3230
    @chim3230 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    idk until 5th grade, i was the best at everything. i had friends, helped people in studies, overall likeable and super active as a child but i had one of the most important pass away the same year. my grandad. ive never been the same. my grades went downhill, i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and ive been suffering academically and emotionally ever since so im not really sure if this is considered as a gifted kid burnout but yeah

  • @MathSciMadeSimple
    @MathSciMadeSimple ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Beautifully said 👏👏👏

  • @MikeFuller-ok6ok
    @MikeFuller-ok6ok ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have a supervised Mensa IQ in the 'High Average' range but I just couldn't cope with Secondary School education so I was put in remedial sets.

  • @debmalya6144
    @debmalya6144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you

  • @kawaii_princess_castle
    @kawaii_princess_castle 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    To mask your intensity or pace is exhausting! You have to go superslow when you are with neurotipicals!

  • @Jana-kx4fv
    @Jana-kx4fv 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    What you describe is not being a gifted child, but a child with too high expectations on its shoulders. The difference is that gifted children excel at almost everything without any struggle. You describe children that are pressured to excel and they do so, but it doesn't come natural to them and they have to work a lot for their success, nature didn't ,,gift" them the ability excel without work.

    • @tinwingeorgiee
      @tinwingeorgiee 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Actually, in my opinion, it can be both ways. When you say gifted children excel at almost everything without any struggle, it comes with a price, too. It's normal for gifted children to achieve high(est) results in everything without having to do a lot of work, so getting something lower (even though by slightly) would be unusual and devastating. Other people would be confused because they were supposed to be "smart". Burnt-out gifted children could also deal with the limitations for them when studying at school because they naturally like to learn; sometimes about some things that are unconventional, which is why gifted programs help them a lot because it gives them more space to learn rather to study systematically. The experiences might overlap in some ways in the aspect of external pressure.

  • @jasonkrick1614
    @jasonkrick1614 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    From my life’s journey. Pretty much every child I’ve known labeled ‘gifted’ from an early age has grown up angry, unhappy and achieving well below average success.
    How and why? First. ‘Gifted’ is usually in one thing. But people like to. Low it up to be gifted in everything. Ever see a gifted kid get hit in the face with a baseball? It hurts btw. My friend got scouted at 9 to be in the MLB. And he won a World Series. So, in this aspect, I would considered him ‘gifted’. I know way way more unemployed ‘gifted’ people with phd’s, sitting in srtarbucks stealing free wifi than I do athletes who won the big prize.
    Anyway, I digress. The overwhelming. And I mean ‘overwhelming’ majority of the ‘gifted’ people I know are unemployed, extremely unhappy, extremely angry and extremely unaccomplished. Meaning they don’t contribute much of anything to society.
    Want an example of a ‘gifted’ individual that provided nothing to society when he was alive? Leonardo da Vinci. Look into his life. And tell me how he benefited society when he was alive. Spoiler alert. He didn’t.

  • @Hibakarbali
    @Hibakarbali 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Does anyone know how to get my gift back ? How do i get good grades again ? Please im barely passing my college exams

  • @TiffanyNg100
    @TiffanyNg100 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Tbh, we need an entire year google calendar and learn how to plan 😅

  • @pedroba76
    @pedroba76 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I relate to this, but how do I know if I am really gited or not, despite everyone calling me smart? Is there a minimum IQ or something?
    Also, is gifted the equivalent to "superdotado" in my country(Brazil)?

    • @lizrdspice
      @lizrdspice 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There is, but an IQ test could be unreliable if you sustained repeated (micro)trauma which can impact cognition. Or even just anxiety, fear of failure or experience learning disabilities. If you relate I suggest diving deeper into the subject and also look into "twice exceptional". It might be worthwhile to check out more people's lived experience as well

    • @pedroba76
      @pedroba76 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I did the online Mensa IQ test once, and I only got 110, that's why I asked if there is a minimum IQ.

  • @CreampuffieO_o
    @CreampuffieO_o 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    We are not THAT gifted after all, just dont give a f* and compare with others and start having fun learning at your own pace. Simple

  • @artsmashhh
    @artsmashhh 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What I don't understand is that you "need" to have a high IQ and good grades, that makes no sense to me. You can still be gifted at things and have a low IQ.

    • @legalfictionnaturalfact3969
      @legalfictionnaturalfact3969 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      We are talking about having an overall aptitude score of about 130 or greater. No one said people of average intelligence can't have a gift for one thing or another. We are just talking about an overall ability for cognition.