the colorism that feminizes and emasculates light skin black men is the same colorism that defeminizes and masculinizes dark skin black women. It's the same issue, but black women are more vocal about it
@@graciousgrace7509 Well because fair skinned men like Italians, Arabs and some South Asians are not considered feminine. Nor is the pale white man. So, it really does not add up.
The trouble is in media dark skin is considered masculine and light skin is considered feminine. Which is why basically every black woman speaking roll in something is mixed to very light skinned up until you need a “strong black woman” character then you’ll get a middle aged dark skinned actress or if you need a little brat character then you’ll get a rare dark skinned little girl and you don’t see a light skinned black man until you need a “soft romantic lead” and it’s actually pretty fucked. This is essentially the root of the trouble and how colorism is playing out and needs to be deconstructed moving forward.
Bingo! Black = masculine & white = feminine. Society rules pretty much sayin that Black people are men and white people are women. This is why in media there's rarely any dark skin Black women. They always give the Black family on tv or movies a light skin biracial wife and daughter with a dark skin husband and son.
Wow. The part about black men who were sexually assaulted as children receiving horrible responses. "that's so gross, people do such weird things" and "they say that's why he's so good now" has a pit in my stomach. Thank you for revealing this and advocating for them.
What he was describing was so horrifying and everybody around him was just giggling. What the fuck. And then he reveals that this is some shit he’s never said to anybody, this is so dark shit that he’s dealt with his entire life and they’re just laughing at it.
@@Blueeyesthewarrior I'm sure as hell not going to defend them, but some people have a kind of 'giggle' response to hearing about certain kinds of trauma. It's like they can't process it all in that moment, and all they can eke out is some kind of laugh and maybe a couple quick platitudes, often just repeated until someone else changes the topic. It sucks, and it isn't right, but it's also a known response. Some people just can't process things like that well, especially if they weren't expecting that kind of conversation. But other than making things like mental health and trauma more acceptable and normalized topics of conversations, so more people could do better in a moment like that, I don't really have a idea how to make sure shit like that didn't happen as often. And I guess some number of folks would still be terrible people even then.
A straight black man so comfortable in his masculinity , to be able to casually talk about gay porn …. And use the term Bottoming… I could shed a tear! This is sad that this is so rare. But I got choked up, when you didn’t even flinch at a gay term… WOW!
🤣 Keeping it real it was a a process. If you'd have met me 10 years ago it wouldn't have been so seamless. That's a profound But also sad realization I didn't even think of while recording.
Yes, as a gay man I also have to give you props! Most straight guys just will not conversationally go there, in fact I was very surprised when you brought it up!
This woman I follow on tumblr and twitter made a hypothetical post about if Black men were cast the same way Black women are. So she took a bunch of dark skinned Black men from comic books and fancast them with light skinned Black men. Others joined in adding their own choices. The responses were hilarious people didn't even read the title they saw Marcus Scribner next to Miles Morales and some other light skinned boy for Virgil Hawkins/Static and went off. She responded with hey were all black why should it matter that's what you tell dark skinned women so what the problem. It was hilarious
You just made me realize I left of the craziness of Chadwick playing Thurgood.... aaaah I'm so mad I missed that! But yeah it's crazy how comfortable we are with black women's erasure and how Chadwick, God bless him, playing a very light man got maybe 30 seconds of consternation
@@FDSignifire oh just remembered when people were upset that The Rock was gonna be playing John Henry and they were like no Mr lite brite, very rarely Black over here. I was laughing at it, I was one of the people going "what's the problem we all niggas right?"
I could say it's the massive audience movies and shows want to attract .Majority of this movies and shows are not made for us black folks but to satisfy white audiences while blind us that" hey we are being inclusive you know". The fetish for dark black men is very strong than lightskinned men. Roles reverse when it comes to women . There was an outrage on Teen Titans when they casted a dark skinned girl for the role of Starfire but no outrage when they had a light skinned Halle Berry for Storm ( which in comics she ought to look more like Lupita) but had it been the other way round with men the demand to have a dark skinned actor would be so high . This movies are not made for us at all
This reminded me of the conversation around Terry Crews being sexually harassed a couple of years ago. I think he's the only black man I've heard talk about stuff like this and his fight against the emasculation jokes and assurance on the power imbalances and racialized nature that allowed the situation to happen was really something to behold.
I remember a kid I went to school with tried to say he was a p*ssy for talking about being sexually harassed. I said "say that to his face" and he shut up fast.
The roles for black men are usually thuggish and demeaning and don't fall in line with the stereotypes of light skin men. When they wanted the black man to be romantic/prince charming...they got a biracial light skin man for Bridgerton. I don't believe Hollywood thinks light skin men are feminine. I believe they think light skin men are friendly, safe, prince charming and that's not what Hollywood usually looks for when creating black male characters. They don't ever make Disney princes black men, not even in 'The Frog and the Princess'.
Princess and the frog is the only movie where they made the princess darker. 99%of tv shows have dark skin men with lightskin women . I think they did a great job with princess of the frog. We need to balance it out. I need to see more dark skin black women with lightskin men like bm do !! Period
@@astridediva I completely Agree with you. I looovee seeing Dark Women with Light Men❤...Alot of Dark women Say foolishly They only Want a Dark Man but dark Men dont even Want dark women...Lol!..So Pathetic
this reminds me of Vin Diesels issues breaking into acting; he was often told he was too light to play black men and too black to play white men so he produced and starred in his own movie which reflects the struggle of being caught between worlds and not really be accepted by either community.
@F.D signifier. I catch he’ll for being light skin for never listening to a drake album!!! I grew up in south central LA! And I’ve had the pleasure of moving around the states, my mother ended up settling in the south. And As a light skin man coming into my 20’s all I ever heard was… 1. Eww You look like you like you like white girls. 2. Boy bye I don’t talk to light skins. 3. Being ignored in our own establishments. 4. Told you don’t know the real struggle. 5. You to rough, or too polished. 6. Light skin woman have looked at me with repulse upon approach. I have never experienced this privilege that is spoken of in any fashion??? light skin actors always had a duality to them just the edgy thug/ artists (LOOKING TO BE RECOGNIZED) …Ex Ricky from barbershop or Arnez from 1on1. We catch the bottom barrel of hell and don’t complain.
As a light skinned black man, I am aware that I benefit from society’s view. I was told once that it would be easier for me to start a business in the service industry because I was “Obama Black”. I have also frequently been referred to as “ambiguously brown.” What makes this difficult is the feeling of not belonging. My mother is Mexican but looks white. She did not speak Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. I have no connection to the culture from that side of my family. And most people do not know I am half Mexican. But on the black side of my family, which I identify with more, I have always been viewed as “not black enough”. I am treated as “other” because my struggle is not as hard as theirs or because I was fortunate enough to grow up in a diverse liberal area, etc. Not Black enough for the blacks. Not mexican enough for the Mexicans. Not white enough for the whites. Just “ambiguous brown”. And the issue you discuss in this video just emphasizes that. Whether your identity is stripped because you’re just a “black body” or your identity is stripped because you’re “not really black”, it’s dehumanizing. You’re denied your identity. But for light skinned men, it’s denied by everyone, even other black people. I’ve always related to Childish Gambino’s lyric “culture shock in barber shops cause I ain’t hood enough. We all look the same to the cops, ain’t that good enough.”
I'm sorry for your experience. If only race wasnt made to be such a reality for people in this world, it wouldnt really matter. I'll just say that regardless of what other blacks say about you, a lot of them wish they were you at the same time because of the privledges you get...and unfortunately as the video showed, some of black people really hate being black...it's sad and a bit pathethic but you cant completely disregard the reason why they feel that way given the world we're in. The most important thing you can do is try to embrace both aspects of your identity because you know what you are. Also, whites will NEVER accept a mixed person of any race comvination as their own. I noticed whether the perasn is mixed with Asian, black, latino. They want to set apart whiteness and i think we all know why...
i whole heartedly feel where your coming from. Im biracial as well and its a weird feeling to beneift from being a lighter complexion yet at the same time to feel like I don't belong anywhere. I remember in highshcool my friends would always joke that I had "the best of both worlds" but what's the point if your not light enough to be white, or dark enough to be black. It honestly sucks.
@@tj2themax This hit hard. Always helps to see there’s other people sharing the experiences and struggles that I have. I’ve literally heard that EXACT same term plenty of times throughout my life. It’s weird
As a pretty light-skinned black actor, I've faced the notion of not being "black enough" countless times. I try my best to not be a victim, focus on what I can control- my skills. But, it's a thing. Vin Diesel made a short film in the 90's called Multi-Facial (horrible name, but solid film) about not being black enough for black roles, white enough for white roles, and not speaking Spanish for Hispanic roles. It really touched on an experience I've never seen dealt with. He and I are the same complexion (and build), so it was very inspiring to me. I've found that I have no one to open up to about this because to my darker-skinned brothers and sisters, It's like complaining about being seen as "more attractive." Everyone thinks things will be easier for me because I'm lighter-skinned. But in a world like acting that deals with "type," it's not a boon. I've gone to parties and dark-skinned men will not greet me or shake my hand, because (I quote): "I don't fuck with light-skinned niqqas." I'm not seen as one of the men, even though I've never used "light-skin" as a signifier of superiority. I'm something else to them. And it's the same with casting directors. If they need a token black character, can they risk a light-skinned one who someone might be able to make a case that he isn't black enough? The vast majority of roles I audition for are for hard, mythically precocious black teens and young men. I'm from East New York, and I'm still not hard enough hahaha. When I do book roles, it's for characters that aren't made to be explicitly black, as was mentioned in the video regarding The Rock and Vin Diesel. My body/sexuality is always on display, not in an animalistic, but a more sensitive way. This video really made me feel seen. I appreciate it so much. Subscribed!
Yeah I hate that. I acknowledge that although I'm not light skinned. Maybe a brown or darker for me but being pro-safe brown should not mean anti-light skin. I feel like light skinned brothas get a complex because of the criticism for light skin as if you chose a secret package prior to birth to be light skinned. I believe it's based on colorism and a hate based on benefits based on a past likened whiteness and insecurity. I don't think lighter skin is superior but I do think people have a visual preference for lighter-skinned black...women. It's pretty unfortunate because my complexion might be seen as stereotypically black when yours might not and that's definitely not okay. We black people should value each other because at the 3nd of the day, we just wanna be accepted as we are as black people trying to do our best in society. We shouldn't be trying to make that harder on each other for figurative reasons that might be based on historical trauma or insecurity.
Lin Manuel just got all that blow back for using afro Latinos that weren't AFRO enough. The actors weren't Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas in Washington Heights...they looked Caribbean to me. U almost can't win.
Thank you for this post! I am a light skinned woman and I have always dreamed of being dark skinned because if the ridicule I get for being light. I’m not black enough to fit in with my people, I’m not white enough to be accepted by the others so I’m just left here in my own lonely class not fitting in with anyone. Darker women look at me and automatically assume I’m conceited like I think I’m pretty because I’m light when I grew up being told I was ugly because I’m not dark enough so i don’t fit into the so called “light skinned pretty crowd” I never developed that confidence because I was always torn down for not being black enough. Everytime I see a light skinned woman say something about not being accepted, it’s always geared towards “being light and pretty” but that’s not my experience either. I wasn’t “not accepted for being so called pretty” I just flat out wasnt accepted. But I’m not allowed to speak on it because people always ASSUME my experience was not so bad because I’m light. News flash…. Light skinned females catch colorism too, and not because of being “pretty” like people try to say…..it’s just because of being light! I never been told “your too pretty” I’ve only been told “your not black enough”
As a light skinned dude, I’ve struggled a lot with my peers and family members looking fun and questioning my masculinity and blackness as a child and teen. But as I’ve grown I’ve definitely come to terms with myself, going to an HBC and seeing a wide diversity of othe black folk helped.
I tell you something, babe, you do you. Every person is beautiful in their own way. Bad people will say stuff, you will feel hurt but just get past it cause you're better than that.
I just discovered your channel and can't wait to binge watch more! I'm a dark skinned black woman working in the adult industry. I think a lot of fetishization that dark skinned black men receive are also put on dark skinned women. I am expected to be strong, dominant, mean, forceful, cruel a top etc. And while I can play this role, it seems my multifaceted personality is lost in the colorist stereotype.
Non-black person here. I didn't know a lot of black people growing up, especially black women. Due to media portrayals, I thought black women naturally had lighter skin than black men when I was younger. It was until (you guessed it) university that I learned better due to meeting more diverse people.
I heard the same thing from my brother who is brown skin. I am brownish to dark depending on lighting but yeah, for some reason he believed that women tended to be lighter despite the fact that I , his sister, was darker than him.
As a light skinned Black man, I always assume my problems are not as important as my darker skinned friends. I know there are a lot of advantages I'll have unconsciously. But I also feel like I need to perform more around other black people, like I'm fighting to keep my "Black Card", especially if I don't act the way Black people in the media do. I assumed if i was darker than that preassure to perform woudn't be there.
i think having a solid western name makes you palatable to whiteness socially ,especially when it is combined with fair skin. it provides safety tbh. Be both need to recognize the game for what it is. i have 2 rock solid southern african names. *Phiwokwakhe* is my first name. My name performs dark skinned ancestry on its own and it invites lots of anti-blackness with it but my skin tone doesn't "match it". i still get my African card canceled . I speak 2 actual african languages and the folk that cancel me would rather learn ESPA-NOOOOL instead.
I’m a black woman. I can’t speak from a man’s perspective but I did talk to my man who is a black man on his experience. My man who is lighter skin and is the lightest of his family admitted he benefited from being good looking and lighter skin and was put on a pedestal. Now that is his experience. Other black men may not have had that experience. I did hear ignorant comments from both black men and women who said that light skin men were “ weak “ and “ feminine” and dark skin men are “more attractive”, “aggressive “, and “masculine”. Associating dark skin with masculine and aggression while light skin is seen as feminine and weak has had very harmful effects on the black community. As a dark skin black woman, I had to “ prove “ I was feminine and nice and not masculine, angry, and aggressive because of the angry black woman stereotype.
Exactly. I personally think the colorism of dark/light skin has less to do with actual colorism and more to do with being seen as masculine/feminine. Think about it. In a lot of cartoons and movies, like old cartoons with talking animals, the male animal was always darker toned, while his female counterpart was always lighter toned. And throughout history, men who worked out on the fields had darker skin, and women, who stayed indoors, had lighter skin. That's why it's so hard for dark women and light men in the black community and elsewhere. Darker skin is associated with masculinity and hardness, while light skin is associated with femininity and softness
I wonder how the individuals surroundings differed? This is probably an oversimplification, but those polar opposite experiences come off like one has an atmosphere where there's a desire to fit in a white supremacist society and the other has a desire to reject it.
@@ninibugg6203 It was the same in Victorian England. The peasants worked outside, so their skin was darker. Middle class and aristocratic women kept out of the sun, so light skin had status. This changed later on in the 20th century where having darker skin meant that you could afford to travel. Interestingly enough the heartland of heavy industry was in the North of England and even though those industries died out years ago, working class white women in those are still seen as "masculine" to some degree.
As a Jew I use that for myself whenever someone brings up the “are [some] Jews white” debate. I am white since the police think I am and it is much safer for me to film them during a traffic stop, attend a protest, etc. than it is for a Jew or gentile of color.
Another layer to this is that it acknowledges that whites are in control of other people's racial identity based upon how they perceive and categorize them. its like that family guy color spectrum meme. It highlights how you are what whites think you are and your racial identity isn't defined by your heritage or parentage or however you yourself define yourself, its based upon what's most convenient for whites to think of you as and upon how much of a threat you present to them. (this can be extended to the rhetoric that operates from the same place as "but youre not *really* black", "youre not like other black people", "youre barely black/im more black than you are")
@@khazermashkes2316 How d'you reckon it works for eastern european immigrantsm I have near to no knowledge on the topic so I don't know the police bias for or against, sure looks black but how would they react when they hear the accent, I mean most media representation I see are mobsters scammers or bumbling morons so I was wondering.
As a mixed indigenous person, your definition of "what the police think you are" is EXACTLY why I refer to myself as white, and will continue to do so. I am proud of my indigenous heritage, but I cannot deny my lived experience. It is extremely important for people to realize their identity is not just based on how they feel, but how they are seen.
i dont really fw the definition, because for me as mixed white-hispanic, it's usually a coin toss what race people will see me as. i've been called hispanic slurs by some, and told by others that they never would have guessed im hispanic
I don't think it is fitting for everyone. Cause if I had to identify based on how I am seen, I would be claiming that I am arabic right now, even if as far as I know I have no arabic ancestors. that would be very disrespectful, misleading and untrue.
Another thing I just realized, almost all of our colorism conversations are ableist as hell. We NEVER mention black people with albinism and consider how they fit into all of this. We also do not think about how black people with visual challenges may experience or be affected by colorism.
Please keep elaborating on this topic. For some odd reason colorism conversations degenerate into “dating preferences” and “sex.” Masculinity is as complex as femininity, so we’re here for these non-sexual conversations. Peace. 🌟
43:50 "He actually lost his virginity at the age of 8" WTF ! I don't know the legal definition of rape in the USA, but in many countries including mine the act of forcing penetration is rape. Doing this with a child of less than 12 years can go up to 20 years in prison (this is pretty much one of the worst crimes you can do in France, for example killing someone due to negligence is 7 years of prison, murdering someone 30 years, dealing drugs 10 years). Discussing this criminal act as losing virginity and laughing about it is disgusting.
It's illegal here too. Unfortunately it happens. With boys specifically, the perpetrators can often go unpunished because patriarchal beliefs make boys feel like they are not being violated when they are. So many pedophiles don't get caught.
"because he got started so young, that's why he was so good" I *hope* that if someone spoke this way about a little girl who was violated at the tender age of 8, they would be swiftly condemned. It's really sad that speaking this way about a little boy did not produce the same consequences.
@@leebird9023 - because there IS still a double standard. And women and men are NOT equals in any and all things and this is one area that reveal is proven. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it is what it is.
I'm a light skin Indian American man, and I definitely see similar systems within South Asian communities as well. In the U.S., there are many parallels because dark skinned South Asian men are usually fetishized or at least more coveted than light skinned men among South Asian people, and while I have personally faced some jokes about my complexion, I don't think it really compares to the amount of danger/scrutiny that comes with having dark skin for South Asian, Black, and other melaninated men. The interesting part is that the conversation almost flips when we talk about South Asian media because while dark skinned men still get more leeway when compared to dark skinned women, South Asian markets still heavily favor light skinned men, and skin bleaching products marketed for men are very popular overseas. Also, It's important to mention the systems that masculinize Black men at the same time feminize Asian men (Specifically, East Asian men because South Asian men are typically not considered Asian), and in pornography, you will see a lot less of Asian tops because they are always fetishized to be feminine, child-like, and submissive to White or Black men.
There's a great book that helped shape my thoughts on this called views from the bottom about an east Asian gay porn performer. It spoke to a lot of this issue. You should consider checking it out if you're a reader.
Bro I'm African American Afro Puerto Rican and Bangladeshi. So much anti blackness in Latino/Hispanic and South Asian communities. My Bangladeshi ancestors some of them looked Meleneseian Papuan so they were dark skinned and they are beautiful!
I've thought about this a lot in the past but something just occurred to me, reading your comment. To be feminized is often equivalent to being seen as woman-like, so it makes sense that gay Asian men are thought of similarly to straight Asian women.
Bollywood prefers light skin men, but the South Indian industry usually casts a dark skin man as the lead actor and pair him up with the lightest woman they can find 🤷♂️
As a biracial black-appearing man, I’ve gotta say that you’ve really been amazing at helping me understand so much about myself and the culture surrounding me that I’ve never been able to fully participate in (raised by white people).
Imagine being called. Yellow as child just because my skinn was lighter I was told it was a nickname now I see. It's not a nickname it was colorism now that I'm darker in skill color I'm 24 now I never got called it since I was like 10 or 11 but I was told it was a joke or funny but it's not it's quite offensive
This is how I felt about the Jada and August situation. She sat on that red table and told us how she preyed on a young man (young enough to be her son), who was going through a mental and emotional breakdown. So she decided to "heal him" by sleeping with him?? And almost everyone was like "he's a man, he can't get taken advantage of" "Jada is so beautiful, I wish I could sleep with her".
Yeah a few homies of mine were like isn't like that "rapey" and she's talking like it's 100% fine and everybody around her has to deal with it. I was like "Jada might need to jail". Since taking advantage of somebody mental instability or lack of mental awareness can be deemed rape. If your mind isn't in the right place you really cannot consent. I felt bad for Jaden, August and Will, so what if Will did whatever he did you don't run after one of your son's peers and then have all of that air'ed out.
@@TheBaconBasket1 y'all sound outrageous as fuck August Alsina was in mid to late twenties living in they house wtf is you talkin about two grown ppl fuckin as "grooming" a lot of y'all have never left the house clearly it's sad
Morally it was wrong of her to take advantage of him, and I am just speculating, but legally it was not illegal, because he was not deemed incompetent by a court or a medical professional, neither was he known to have a mental illness or disease that made him incapable of making decisions or choices. But morally still wrong(and here I am speculating).
They were more worried about the fact that Jada "cheated" even though her and will have been going outside the marriage for years. Like taking advantage of a mentally vulnerable person for sexual satisfaction is okay but a black man being perceived as being cheated on can't be ignored. They decided to turn it into a black women aren't shit moment, instead of focusing on the real problem that occurred.
31:37 idk man.. this is part of why some black women including myself has struggled like hard with my self esteem and self worth.. like it's not enough to get rejected by someone who literally is a reflection of you.. but they compare you to others and shame you just for being a darkskined black woman.. This video is very informative and interesting but this part almost made me cry like god damn..
I'm lightskinned and I'm NOT mixed.. always hated that how people straight think this. I'm proud of and love being black. But the rejection from being lightskinned or fake acceptance from people until they see or hear how "black" I really am throws them off.. so yeah glad this talk came up especially from F.D.
Another facet of being light skinned is the "what are you" questions , you constantly have to justify why you are light skinned or minority depending on who you are talking too.
Very frustrating. And people will only stop pestering you when you say something like “I mean there is some European ancestry in my family”. Never mind that the average black person in the US has at least 1/8 European blood due to colonialism.
@@MsMvsc Exactly. At the end of the day were all people. Bleed the same. Unless I voluntarily want to tell someone my ethnicity, it's exhausting expliaing my background. I just tell people I'm mixed and leave it at that.
A few months ago, I Googled "colorism of/for dark/light skinned men" I got articles about colorism for black women EVERY time. I think one writer talked about how Steph Curry is described /treated differently than darker skinned players, but I guess I didn't expect colorism to be treated as an exclusively female problem, when I know it's not. This video was just the thing I was looking for.
It's plight is more harsh on females compared to males.Dark skin woman struggles both in black community and also outside community.LSM have some Light skin priviledges that they enjoy
but Steph Curry is considered attractive and palatable to a much broader audience than a darkskin athlete and marketing through sponsors is an athlete's bread and butter. A lot of people (non black people) that don't find unambiguous black men attractive would find Steph Curry handsome due to his Eurocentric features.
@Apathy Gaming Nope, i don't. That's just what some other web article said. IDK what Steph Curry or anyone else does on and off the court. Never said i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Your channel got recommended by the algorithm randomly and I was like "huh? Ok let's listen". And I can't be grateful enough for that decision. This is like my 4th video that I watch. And I've been listening to some black women creators talk about colorism and representation. But I never really watched a black man doing the same. Im not from the US, so I do not have the insight on how the racial interactions occur over there, but I want to learn and to listen to black creators. Thank you for your videos
Brown skinned and dark skinned men that I’ve liked always preference light skinned or mixed girls. All the guys that liked me back were mixed or light skinned so you might be onto something. I can’t understand it because I love Black men in all shades.
In the UK when I was younger on a good portion of shows made over here if there was a Black character man or woman they were light skinned rarely did they get darker. dark skinned men would show up more than dark skinned women though. Its was like we didn't exist on TV unless it was a very negative depiction.
I don't have anything to add or say, just that I clicked this link on a whim without looking at the length and the next thing you know it was an hour later and I had a lot to think about. Subcribed for sure, going to check out your other videos. Some real quality content/analysis! Thank you!
Europe values light and biracial women with eurocentric features . I have seen quite a lot of European movies only a handful had dark skinned women and they would maybe show up on one scene with no storyline and that's it . The woman given attention is always a biracial and very lightskinned with curly hair ( she's the darkest they could find according to them) .This movies and shows are not for us , the audience is a white majority audience it's what they want to see .
Yeah I had often seen that dynamic too. At one point i liked seeing that difference but found it to be too common like that was the preference. It's not very good. I like the depiction of OG Aunt Viv from Fresh Prince and seen how she wasn't replaced with a similar actress but an extremely different character. It just shown to me the preferences in the industry was for its black people that we bought into colorism as it related to gender. Love Issa Rae though. Her positivity just leaps off the screen a d Viola Davis just acts with magnitude.
@@Theohybrid true , the industry has a strong preference for what they like on screen on black women . And if they do cast a black darker skinned woman she's always the supportive black friend, a prostitute, partyholic , lesbian or stripper. But now I am seeing a few changes here and there ... ISSA Rae is like Fenty when black women cried about Orange foundations many brands laughed and ignored Fenty came and heard the cry now this other brand are running to play diversity notice how in many campaigns they have black darker skinned women yet they always had just one biracial girl as" the black girl ." ISSA Rae is making moves bold moves .
Thank you! I just left a comment on what the UK is like. The black men NEEDED to be white and black. They couldn’t be lighter black folk. The African-American and black British experience is very very different (but somehow the same?). Darker black people are NOT the preference over here, no matter the sex/gender.
I used to go to a predominantly black public school and was the only white kid in my class and I remember seeing so much racism. So many students roasted each other for being "too white" or "too dark". I used to ride home every day on the bus with one of my friends who was a very dark skinned African dude. He was the most talented and respectful guy I knew. But the other kids used to just sit there and roast him for how dark he was and he didn't have much choice other than to sit there and take it. It was shocking to me and never really made sense, until I learned more about American history. That really opened my eyes to just how deeply intrenched racism is in America.
YES FINALLY! Someone talking about the struggle Light Skin/Dark skin men deal with. As a mother of two black boys (one is brown skin the other is light) I appreciate your video. I always felt light skin guys and dark skin women suffer the most when it comes to colorism and how we are perceived by others. Most think colorism is a social societal issue that can be cured with self love. Unfortunately, solving this issue will require introspection and change in media. Self love still isn't enough for someone else to blindly value you as a person. Talent seems to only be based on skin tone and features.
Dark skin women and light skin men don’t suffer the exact same. It’s a little bit more nuanced. Dark skin people are still seen as menacing whereas light skin as more white adjacent with all stereotypes it entails, even on the continent.In the Job, dating market Dark skin Women still bear the brunt of Most. Including within their own community. For every time a light skin man will be call « soft » He will seldom have difficulties finding romantic /sexual partners or a job. Contrasting with Dark skin women, who have it tough out there. On most accounts.Honestly. Ultimately, We are ALL denied the multidimensional nuances of our humanity, because of our skin color, because We are not white. There’s lie the problem.
@@TititoDeBologay >>>>>>>>> biiiig facts. There’s far more nuance to it that “dark skin black women and light skin men suffer the most” uhh…kind of. But the severity and types of disadvantages look veeerry different. And before someone @ me about making this about dark skin people, light skin struggles with colorism are very very valid. Let’s refrain from inaccurate, sweeping statement tho.
The sexual violence issue you talked about is so disturbing and only recently I got to know about the twisted views people have on that through a tiktok trend. My friend shared with me this tiktok video that somewhat commended these rappers and other artists, mostly from the Black community, for having "started" their sexual lives early on. They treat it as if it weren't sexual assault and ped*philia, so it either becomes something to flex about (????) or it's played for laughs, even in mainstream media. So the whole discourse regarding how sex is all about consent, safety and a constant dialogue between partners just go directly in the bin. What alternative universe is this where boys aren't really seen as innocent, vulnerable children? It's baffling.
As a light skinned brotha, I have to say that I appreciate you taking the time and putting in the effort to not only do this video, but to do it in a way that is thoughtful and respectful. I remember growing up and hating being light skinned, but not being the right type of light skinned. I have dark, course, and super curly( Some would call nappy) hair. I have dark brown eyes, not green or hazel. I'm short( for a black man) at 5'9. Although I'm a high yellow, half passed piss color as my mom would joke. Females would routinely associate me with all the negative stereotypes of light guys like being an "Uncle Tom" or "sellout" or "teacher's pet." I was considered safe but for husband material but not someone to "have fun with." I even had some female say they wanted to have my babies to guarantee that their children weren't "too dark!" It was assume that I was a pretty boy who was self absorbed. That I would only be interested in a dark skinned female was to use her sexually this dismiss her without care, like some kind of player. It was assumed that I might be gay. That happened alot, even by dark skinned gay men. I also wanted to be bigger darker and appear more masculine, without having to go all toxic!
Actually, colorism against light-skin black men and the obvious parallel to dark-skinned black women was tackled years ago by TH-camrs like Chrissie. What I haven't seen, is a safe brown or darker-skinned, unambiguous black male like yourself tackling the subject from the perspective of the light-skinned male. This was very interesting coming from a male.
Yeah! I love only heard of the topic from females but not black men themselves. I've found that it made me idealize that image of the dark male paired with the lighter skinned woman. It was just visually interesting. But, I don't think we see enough Isa Rae's out there who are to be darker-skinned but have great personality. We do need more of them for more people to be exposed to positive black female images that aren't paper bag test determined and aren't necessarily political.
I love this take. I'm a light skinned Black man and I've been unpacking what that means for me for years. In my experience, the most represented I felt in media was when Miles Morales came on the scene as Spider-Man. What I think is interesting is how, when I'm in primarily Black spaces, my lightness is often viewed as making me inherently "weaker" or I guess less masculine than my male peers. But when I'm in primarily white spaces, the people around me generally assume that I'm the strongest person in the room. Working in an office has always been an interesting dynamic for me too. I notice that most people generally view me as nonthreatening, unless they don't know me. I've definitely had people pick up the phone for security until I show them my badge that is usually already on full display.
on a side note, I think one of the reasons you'll see lighter complexioned black men in baseball more frequently is because a large percentage of black baseball players are afro Latino Cubans, Dominicans, Venezuelans (etc) who (obviously) are more likely to be of mixed racial descent. Baseball hasn't been a popular sport in the African American community in a long time (and when it was, most of the popular black players played in the Negro League.)
Great points. It’s also cheaper pulling those black dudes from Latin America than the states. In less than 30 years, America has priced black people out of baseball. It’s horrible. Most pewee & under 18 baseball leagues are in the burbs where black population is really small.
@@ahanna76 funny you should mention that. I was on the treadmill at the gym yesterday and they had the Little League World Series going. I noticed there were so few black and Hispanic kids playing and I had this exact thought. After all, many black families (and Hispanic families for that matter) probably wouldn’t have the resources to pay for their kids to fly out to Hawaii or whatever for a month to play at a competition like that. Not to mention the amount of equipment involved in learning to play baseball (bats, helmets, etc etc) as opposed to games like basketball or soccer that you can just pick up and play
As a singer and an actress in this industry I really do appreciate this talk. Colorism is one of the reasons why I am on the fence about continuing to work in the industry. It's gotten to the point to where I'm too light or dark to be chosen for major roles on television and I'm too dark to be considered marketablein music unless i take my clothes off. I've literally had people tell Me "too bad youre not white", "I wish you looked more like Mya", just completely disregard me me as an artist based solely off of my skin color. I have many stories that would blow your mind. Or maybe they wouldn't I will know anyways I appreciate your channel. We need more adult perspectives on these things.
Please please please make your own content. If they don’t make space for you, make space for you. I promise there will be people who appreciate your efforts! Stay strong 🙏🏾💛
Colorism played a big part of creolité, especially in New Orleans, since reconstruction and it's a hard fight trying to remove some of these beliefs and showing that, historically, being creole in south Louisiana is heritage and not skintone. Anyway, I just found your channel yesterday and already gone through nearly everything you've put out. Really appreciate these videos
This is the most mind blown I've ever been after a video discussion I've ever heard on TH-cam. I've grown up as a black man pretty much my entire life and I've never once thought about or noticed this discrepancy with light-skinned men and their representation in media. I'm going to have to re-evaluate pretty much my entire approach to media now. This was such a gaping hole in my vision. Thank you so much for this video
Race is definitely a construct. I'm South African and we don't regard mixed race individuals as black. Trevor Noah may be regarded as black in America but he is mixed in his home country. So the conversation around colourism is slightly different, and even if you are mixed race you are not necessarily light skin either. Our past is very complicated.
I keep trying to tell Black Americans that the concept of race is different in Africa than it is in the USA. In fact, it is different in the Caribbean. People need to be careful about assuming things when they travel outside of their countries.
I think it's probably because mixed people in the US has been classified as black for much longer than they would have been in Africa. Most blacks in the US have some level of admixture, some more or less than others, whereas black in Africa was much less ambiguous historically.
Dankie Rabbit vir dai verduiliking..As a Coloured man i dont think Black Americans will ever even try to understand our racial patterns in South Africa
what if they look black? like i didn’t know that trevor noah was even mixed race for the longest. would it be looked as a social faux pas to assume he’s black?
I'm an older cat with lightskin and my experiences (in context of skin only) from child to adult are mostly negative. You hit the nail on the head when you brought up the "constant masculinity check". Even to this day, whenever my skin color is brought up, my mood immediately gets wild serious which confuses mad people because I guess most guys with lightskin don't dislike their skin but it is what it is....I'm still doing therapy and practicing the self love shit but the self hate for my skin is still strong in me despite me being grown and knowing better
Omg, wow. Thank you for sharing.. pls know you are accepted, loved and appreciated as a lightskin man. These comments help me to realize that so much teasing that is done in childhood leaves scars. My dad was extremely light skinned with green eyes and curly hair. Complexion was a HUGE trigger for him to the point of it being a taboo topic, and him baking himself in the sun every sunmer.. There was NEVER any mention of "good hair" or "pretty hair" in our house bc he was disgusted by these concepts. Id always thought it was because he was "woke" and saw it as rooted in anti-blackness but as I think more about it, it may have also been some of these issues as well. He was also very sensitive about accusing men of being gay. All of it together makes me wonder if his masculinity was questioned when younger. His dad and brothers were brown so I think that was part of it- feeling different and a spectacle bc of it. He only liked dark skin women and married my darkskinned mom and had me, a dark brown daughter.
Sigh curse of the light skin biracial look just like my mom but have dads complexion ( not really because my fam is creole and I have aunties my color who are full black) So imagine my confusion at never being accepted by people I consider skinfolks . Then as I grew older I realized rascism works both ways and mixed folks get it on all sides depending on what genetic phenotypes we’re expressed in their physicality . It sucks . But as Bob Marley says , I’m not on white side nor black side just Gods side . It’s the Only thing that keeps me going . None of us are a color , we are either saved sinners or unsaved. When you see it that way you understand people treat you the way they do based on who they are inside , not because of who you are inside . Worst part is realizing most Humans die before they truly ask themselves that question. I used to always ask what it meant to be a man now I ask God what does it mean to be a good person? No labels other than good and bad needed to describe us thus the devils system is led by mass confusion and division
Man I’m 10 minutes in and I really appreciate you explicitly using your platform to talk about men/masculinity. There aren’t many spaces online (or in real life) that address black men/masculinity from an anti-patriarchy/feminist perspective. I’m a first time viewer, but definitely gonna subscribe and check your other stuff out 👌🏾
As a light skinned 17 year old I personally never really cared that the leading men in films were always darker skinned. Even though it would be nice to see more people who looked like me on film, any representation is good representation for me. Also I really enjoyed your video. The subjects you touched on like the lack of light skinned men in Hollywood to the fetishization of black men are things I have always thought about in private but never thought I would hear out loud. Thanks dude!
Good vid. As a fairer skinned Black man I often experienced a lot of colourism from black and white people. I was "not really black" to both groups. It led to me developing a bit of hostility towards people that took me until my thirties to get out of. I became hyper masculine and brutish because I felt encroached upon. I found the redpill. Ha. I shaved my head bald, and started training and became imposing. I leaned hard into being different. I felt like if people would always alienate me then I'd make it clear that I'm not them. Why fight so hard to belong to people who look down on me. My classmates wouldn't bully me but they'd sometimes throw shade at me for being fair skinned and soft spoken. I'd fire back and upset them. Thankfully with time I realized the redpill rhetoric is a distorted picture of reality and stopped consuming it. It still does manifest itself in me being extremely blunt and forward with people. Most people write it off as me being quirky since I don't have hostile body language, but it's definitely a cope. 😂 My own family would regularly remark that I thought I was better than them and I didn't like black people. The honest truth was I had severe depression and anxiety and wanted to be left alone. I didn't like anyone but being the fairest person in my family I felt like I got some of their resentment projected onto me. White people found me a bit easier to get along with because I was quite soft spoken. As I aged, though, I realized that as close as I was to them I wasn't one of them. This was made clear by my experiences in the work place. I guess my story has a bit of a happy ending in that I had to reconcile with a lot of my feelings, but on very bad days I do resent that I'm so different looking. I'm racially ambiguous so I feel like I get all the downsides of being black but no upside of being white despite my fairer skin. That said, in being so different, I think my understanding of other outsiders is deeper. I know what it's like to be ostracized for things I don't even get. When I watch your vids I feel like you're helping me find a healthy way to understand myself and, by extension, other even less fortunate groups like our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. I wanna make it clear I got a long way to go but this is helpful.
Bro I went through exactly what you went through. That’s why I have no sympathy for black people and their ‘plight’ F this culture what you have is just pure and utter narcissism
I think we need to be more cognizant about the history of colorism as it pertains to black male desirability and the change that occurred in the 80s and 90s. You know, the one where light skinned men went "out of style." If you talk to black people above a certain age, they will tell you all about how light skinned black men were all the rage during Jim Crow and its immediate aftermath. For decades, our community resented endogamous practices among light skinned people and the emergence of the black power movement institutionalized a stigma against those pairings. I think there was a backlash against that state of affairs that we are still living through. We talk a lot about dark skinned black men wanting light skinned black women as a form of colorism, and we rarely if ever discuss light skinned black men's preferences (if they even exist). But historically speaking, colorism also meant light skinned black men and light skinned black women keeping to themselves. After the Civil Rights Movement, it appears that both light skinned black men and women moved away from having such a pronounced preference for one another. But that begs the question of whether light skinned black people preferring each other would even count as self-hatred since their "selves" are not dark skinned? It also begs the question of whether black women's devaluation of light skinned black men represents them becoming less colorist or if they simply transitioned to another set of complexion mythologies that is only superficially "pro-black." The other thing to note is that colorism puts both light skinned black men and women in a weird bind. As black people, we at this point essentially define colorism as dark skinned black men preferring light skinned women. Light skinned black men's preferences and black women of all complexion's preferences are not scrutinized. As a light skinned millennial black man for instance, I've never been around a black woman my age who had a preference for light skinned black men. Whenever the concept of black women's color preferences is brought up, they either say they desire dark skinned men (for reasons we typically assume to be "pro-black") or they say they have no preference. Perhaps it's because they are aware that stating a preference for light skinned partners would be viewed as regressive and immoral/unethical, but that also means many light skinned black men grow up in a world feeling they are no one's first choice. On the other hand, any pairing of a black man with a woman lighter than he is gets flattened into colorism - regardless of whether he actually has a preference at all. That means that light skinned black women would have to assume that any black man who expresses interest in them is only doing so out of a deep sense of self-hatred, especially if he's darker than her. It puts them into a box in which they can never really trust or experience true love from a black man since any attraction would be necessarily tainted by internalized racism. We MUST eradicate colorism, but doing it in a way that essentially tells light skinned black women to view black men with suspicion means they would have to limit themselves to black men who are as light as they are or they would have to stop dating black men altogether (both of which would further stigmatize light skinned black women in our communities). Is that what we want? This is not about saying light skinned people have it harder than dark skinned people. There is no value in making that comparison or arguing that point. Instead, what I am highlighting is that being "better off" within a system of oppression does not equate with self-actualization of genuine well-being. When dark skinned black men essentially switched places with light skinned black men in the desirability hierarchy, they did not attain liberation nor did light skinned black men lose other forms of privilege that correlates with our color. The psychological strife we all suffer from simply changed its topography.
I have actually sat down and had conversations with black women, and I have asked them what their preferences were... 9 out of 10 said that there isn't anything wrong with light skinned men, it's the light skin women that they have issues with... Same thing with black men, there's nothing wrong with the light skin women, it's the light skin men that they have a problem with... I've also seen this pattern where when light skin people try to speak on their experiences with black people, if it doesn't paint a black person in a good light, they get attacked for it by the black majority... It's interesting to say the least...
I had a preference for dark skinned BM initially. However I received more interest from light skinned BM. At this moment it doesn’t matter since I learnt it doesn’t dictate the quality of your relationship experience.
I’m really glad you made a video about this topic! Seriously, thank you. As a light skinned black guy, I’ve found myself in an awkward crossroads when viewing myself. Growing up in a predominantly black community, i was made fun of and constantly had my blackness questioned at ever corner. I ended up hating my skin complexion for not being black enough. It took till college to start to grow past that, but the perceptions of being “weaker” and “feminine” still remain problems for me. Regardless, those thoughts and struggles are things I’ve decided to just deal with in silence because I understand I still benefit from the way society finds me more appealing and less threatening than my darker brothers, whether I choose to subscribe to that privilege or not. I will say though, as a black nerd, who loves the mediums of comics and games and the impact they’ve had on my life…There’s no one who looks like me. I have a hard time visually seeing myself in characters or these fanatical settings. I love Static, Miles, and T’Challa, but I could ever cosplay as one of them? I love Wakanda, but could I really see myself being a Wakandan?…let alone accepted in a space like that? I’m still asking myself those questions.
Lightskin black guy that loves comics too, and i was just talking about that with my friends the other day. There really isn't no lightskin black heroes in comics tbh.
Colorism is such a huge problem in media and our culture, this video really does a good job showing the Black American perspective! I cant always speak for American media, but in Latin America. Those who are dark skinned or appear Black or more Native American are often casted as villains or side character/servant/a joke. The lighter skinned or "whiter" looking Latinos are casted as beautiful heroes and the romantic interest. Often used in novelas. Spanish cultures always try to grasp at whatever Eurocentric features we can find to make manifest in our commercials/movies/soap operas. Similar to what you described in the Hunger Games. You should definitely travel to the Caribbean and South America to see how racism shifts to colorism and how that internalized self bigotry causes black and brown people to bleach their skins and straighten their hair or color it to pass as more European. I think American media shows us that they grapple with people of color under a lens of racial preference where especially the female actors have to be lighter skinned so they can be seen as attractive or viable to the masses. That's so tragic. I hope we can all evolve on this perspective.
I don’t like the way people demean light skin men. It’s a major form of colorism. I’m not even light skin…. Or a man, but it irritates me when I see black people making light skin men the butt of the jokes. Darkskin men make it seem like light skin men are fruity, weak, and emasculated. Black women scream that they want a dark skin man, when in reality some darkskin men don’t even want darkskin women!! And These are the same men and women that would be mad, if you say you don’t prefer darkskins. The hypocrisy has to stop. I’m getting sick of this community Forreal.
OMG..THANK You!!!..So Many dark women say they Only want a Dark Man..girl Please..A Dark Man wouldnt Even Look At you!! It is sooooo disgusting the way they talk about Lightskinned Men. And thats why DarkSkin BM are so Narcisccistic...Im so Sick of it
I don't even know where to start, brother. I'm chocolate as you can see, I teased unmercifully for it as a child. My gifts were the only things that made room for me: intelligence and an outstanding singing voice saved my bacon more times than I can count. Choir and singing at different events made me more accepted by my peers, and then puberty hit. But I was always surrounded by lighter friends who got the guys quicker than I did, especially in LA. My friends would always have to cosign my presence wherever we went. It was real brutal to the self esteem. It's taken decades to grow out of, and understand the person of value I really have grown to be. I hope that everyone can find that for themselves, no matter what this so called society thinks of them.
Hey, I just caught this video. I'm a light-skinned brother and also a music/media scholar. I've been trying to talk to people for years about how the discussion of colorism has to take gender into account. But, you know, people aren't talking about light skinned black men much. You asked how it feels, and I just want to add some early Hollywood data points for you. Light skinned black men rarely get representation...but, in early Hollywood, in all black films, there *was* some representation of light skinned black men--but they were always the villains and main antagonists. You can look at Stormy Weather...or the earlier film Duke Is Tops. The male protagonist, the one who is framed as "really" and "authentically" black is dark skinned. The female love interest is Lena Horne, so very light skinned. There is then another man, a rival, a villain, who is the light skinned black man. This guy is a scumbag who wants the female lead, but he doesn't care about the black community and he is an uppity user. And he is rejected by the female lead when she realizes how awful he is, and she returns where she "belongs" in the arms of the dark skinned black man. It doesn't feel good when some of the rare representations you get as a light-skinned black man is as a vaguely effeminate scumbag race traitor who is never an appropriate romantic prospect...or even welcome in the black community. The ejection of that character from the community is framed as part of the happy ending. Recently, a peer of mine put out a tweet saying we need more diversity in the streaming world, but that means dark skinned black people only, not light skinned black people, because the presence of light skinned black people in media harms dark skinned black people--which is pretty hurtful to be told that my public existence harms my community. But...I rarely see light skinned black men represented at all. I'm pretty secure in my masculinity so I don't care about that...but I do care about the ways in which my light skinned-ness is used to invalidate my blackness entirely, or frame me as suspect within the black community. It really bothers me that my lightness is used as a way to erase me from the community...while the police still see me as plenty black enough to harass. It is just tough. And I know we all have it tough. I'm not saying my life is harder than anyone else. But it is hard to be told you don't belong.
King Kong was a low key jab at Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight boxing champion. He openly and flagrantly dated only white women. So yea. Cooper was full of 💩 when he said it wasn’t racist. Great content. New sub.
@@thedelordhimselfgokublack Not necessarily. Not all racists act the same way today and I'm sure that was true back then in post-slavery America. Also, we don't know the guy personally - there could definitely be a reason behind closed doors as to why he didn't want to openly proclaim that his film was caricaturing a famous (albeit probably still harassed and hated) black athlete. Plus, if the black boxer really did date white women openly, whilst there may have been some tension between black and white men in Hollywood, that doesn't mean it was acceptable/his taste to openly refer to it. What's clear is that the film was racist. It was a racist caricature of a black man. We may not know why he chose not to claim that but that doesn't make the film not racist, y'know?
@@bleusles Also as early as 1915 with Birth of a Nation there was a recognizable backlash to the movie. I'm not sure how significant it was, but Griffith was aware of it, so it was relevant enough to become at least a small historical chapter. I could easily see there being a desire to pretend that King Kong wasn't a racist jab since even back then Hollywood was a tumultuous gossip infested place which had studios on their toes greatly motivated to control narratives so they could decide what controversy they wanted and didn't want.
•doing the work to have hard conversations •leave no topic without examples and clear points •leave the length long despite YTs algorithmic encouragement for short uploads • responds to comments and asks fir clarification You are on another level, FD
The concept of "white people" is a few hundred years older than what you said in the video (~17th century or so) but you're absolutely right that it's a social construct and the definition of who is white (and which kinds of white people are "better") shifts a *lot* depending on the time and place you look at.
Most definitely, I assume you're referring to the treatment of the Irish. And yes that's definitely true.. You have any good videos on it? I wouldn't mind learning more about this.
@@FDSignifire It's not just the treatment of Irish, but also the treatment of Eastern Europeans in general, I spend a lot of time in the UK because my mom's family is part of the Windrush generation, and over the last 3 decades I have been going to the UK, the Eastern Europeans are treated pretty badly, I have seen "friends" call them ethnic slurs, I have seen signs saying no Polish and no Slavs. The Romani especially feel the brunt of the abuse.
@@camtra18 True, generally Eastern Europeans also don't see themselves as whites and try to act white in order to be accepted. I remember the first time when my eastern european classmates would show me videos/memes of "look at these whites" and it would just be funny videos but it was them clearly distinguishing between what white people do and what they do.
This is an amazing take on colourism and the hurt antics in the media that seldom support black people. I have never looked at the pain of dark skin black men as intensely or thoroughly. Thank you for the insight.
My experience of being a light skinned Black man from mixed parentage, my dad is black my mom is white, in regards to the Black community and culture is complex in that I have never felt welcomed so I have always felt like an outsider looking in. Through the years of stopping by to window shop Blackness I have felt the full range of emotions from anger to admiration towards the Black community, and the times at which I have gone into or embraced my Blackness with others I have been met both with a celebration of joyous reunion and rejection. In the end I would say that my overall connection to my Blackness is tenuous with me always on guard from celebrating or expressing myself as a Black man out of the expectations of having my Blackness taken away from me or marginalized not only by outsiders but form those within the community. Even when I watch your videos or any videos from Black content creators I am always on guard for questions of my being here, that at any given time someone can say hey what’s he doing here.
i remember watching yara zayd’s video, and at that exact section about thresh, i remember wanting to hear your thoughts what it means for Black men in the media to be “allowed” to have dark skin. what she said made a lot of sense, but it was kind of confusing too, because it didn’t mesh for me with the fact that off-screen, dark-skinned men are also subjected to colorism, as you mention here. so thank you for making this-it makes such a perfect complement to yara’s video.
Props on the Powerline shirt lol. Goofy Movie was one of my favorites growing up. I really love your stuff man. Keep up the awesome work. You mentioned around the 27 minute mark about the self hatred black men experience and how that pain is reflected in rap lyrics. Id love to see a video going into depth about that.
exited for this one! never really thought about colorism for black men or how differently it affects them, so this will definitely will be insightful!!
I’ve watched a bunch of your videos in the past few days found them all deeply affecting. This ones a little different though. As a mixed race kid who grew up in one of America’s whitest places, with a dark black dad, I’ve always felt like there was some pressure on me to eventually find a woman with darker skin than I do to have kids with. Even though I’m seriously dating a white girl right now who I really love, there’s been a thought in the back of my mind since I discovered my sexuality that’s been telling me my future wife needs to be darker than me to balance it out. Like light skin on me is a bad thing. This video was just really… idk. I never quite know what to say at the end of your videos. I just want to say thank you and tell you that everything you’re talking about is really helping me come to terms with the way I look and who I am.
The part about the fetishism of black men and them not being seen as human was really deep. And its not that black women don't want to talk about it; it seems when black women bring it up, we are just hating and black men don't seem to care.
🤦♂️🤦♂️That's the problem. Girls or women seem to complain too much about everything. Just do what we do. If you cant do anything about it. Dont think about it.
@REED ONLY You do know they can just ignore you until you get tired and if you are an actual problem. They will get rid of you. So it is cowardly. It's just being sensible. It's not like people are dying because of it.
@@thedelordhimselfgokublack “It’s not like people are dying because of it” Ummm, what? What were the protests last year all about then? Isn’t police brutality an indirect consequence of how black men are dehumanized in the media? If that’s how they perceive you, they’ll have less empathy when they interact with you.
This was so important. I had a light skinned male friend tell me about his struggle with being a light skin man. Because I’m a dark skin woman I didn’t think it compared with my experience. Now I realize why dark skin men are obsessed with dating outside their race. And shun dark skin woman. They too have serious issues loving their skin.
Please stop characterising us as obsessed with dating outside of our race. We aren’t, and it’s disrespectful to even insinuate: Most of us arent the athletes, rappers or entertainers you refer to. We are normal men.
I'm light skinned and was dating a dark skin girl and she told me she really wanted to have a son with me but didn't want him to be light skin cuz he would get bullied and would be soft. I never seriously dated another dark skin girl again after that. My current gf is Mexican and white.
THIS VIDEO IS AMAZING‼️More people need to watch this video, especially Black people of all shades. I learned so much while also noticing somethings too (one of them being the fetishization of darker skin Black men in the media and real life). I do believe that we need more representation of lighter skin Black men and darker skin Black women… Of course in a good light and less negative approaches. I also do believe that in other ethnic groups like Latin America (even America too) need more darker skin representation of dark skin men AND women, so it’s a slippery slope. For example, I am Honduran American, but if I was to audition to portray a Latino (or Afro-Latino) in America and Latin America, I have a higher chance to be rejected for the role than a fair skin (light skin) Afro-Latino or White (or Indigenous) Latino. Yep, this topic has A LOT of layers to untangle. P.S. - Damn, you do not like Drake I can tell. I am a Drake fan, but I understand your thoughts (even though you did not mention them that much) on him😅
I held back on Drake lol cause I didn't want to be distracting. I can't be hating on Drake while trying to talk about how light skinned men get a bad deal.
@@FDSignifire it’s okay to not like Drake’s music lol. I understand your point though. Do y’all remember when Drake sounded like Lil Wayne early on in his career?
While I'm Native and not Black I always felt I had to "white code" myself since I live in a super white area. So when you talked about Obama going by Barry it made me realize just how much of my life has been shaped by just trying to fit in to survive. I even stopped going outside as much cuz I didn't wanna get too tan.
Colorism from A lighter skinned black man: You mentioned at the end of your video that you would like to hear from light skinned men on masculinity and colorism. I would like to first say im not unambiguously light skinned, nor do I identify as light skinned. However, I have benefited from colorism before. I would say by Black American standards, I would be light brown skinned more specifically. Moving on, due to my skin color, my facial features are often subject to featurism. When in black spaces my long hair, bigger eyes, and small nose gets me the "what are you (mixed with) questions. This is often not overt, but stems from "your hair is so flowy...oh your skin is perfect not too light or dark...you have the cutest nose (when in was little). So my blackness is questioned (rather than challenged like my light skinned peers). Thus my appearance is held to the Standard black male image: dark skin/ brown skin, clear black features, short afro textured hair, an alpha male presence, deep voice, tall, and a muscular physique. I litterally only check off 1.5 of these things: having brown skin (barely) & being sorta tall. This never really bothered me growing up because I felt different in a good way. Most of my black male peers were Dark skinned unambiguous dudes that grew up to check more of these boxes. For me, as a gay man. I just assumed that this representation was for straight men because this ideal masculine black man went after women. So as a lighter skinned man you make 1 or 3 choices: 1. You adhere to the ideal as much as you can, 2. You grow to be perhaps insecure that you "don't make the cut", OR 3. You reject these ideals & be yourself. I chose 3. I belive it was easier because I was able to separate myself from this ideal black male (im gay and I physically look more ambiguous). However, I was never one of the light skinned guys just as much as I wasnt a dark skinned guy. Therefore I did not receive the brunt of any light skinned jokes or stereotypes. Conversely, I never was called racist or colorist terms like my dark skinned male peers. This "in between" gave me A LOT of room to breath. Some would call my skin "safe brown", I would say in my experience that term is 1000% accurate.
I’m a brown skin guy with small features, I come from a mixed background but I’m obviously black. I always felt like I was dark skin, but dark skins would point out I was lighter than them or ask where are you from. I have a thin prominent nose bridge, kinda bigger eyes but almond shaped lids, and curly hair (I know have locs). I’m often told I seem safe, white folks tend to like me, black people often question my masculinity and my blackness…I also speak quite proper, soft spoke. I grew up kinda in suburbs/hood adjacent. I can say that these attributes have helped me get jobs as well as be able to meander through different social circles. But I always struggle around a group black folks. One positive is I’m quite tall so I’m often viewed equally as a threat (black guys get jealous, white and Spanish guys don’t like me around their gfs)
@@tajsimms8976 Yes, I can def relate to your circumstances. Did you notice a change in how you were treated/ percieved by black people (especially men) once you got locs? I had loose hair until mid 2017 when I decided to get dreadlocks installed. Once my hair fully locked 6 months - 1 year later, i noticed that I became "more Black" appearing. Versus when I wore my natural hair, I got a lot of questions about my ethnicity.
As a gay mixed person, i heavily relate to this too. It felt better to reject the expectation of what was meant to be black and at the same time, not being ashamed of being black either. Being interested in things that is not considered things a black person should be into usually leads to being othered by other black people but seemed ‘interesting’ or ‘different’ to people of other races since i dont adhere to their stereotypical perception of what a black person should be like.
You don't have to go that far. There are literally comedy videos on TH-cam where they compare black men and make fun of light skinned black men for being gay or stereotypically feminine (as opposed to dark skinned black men who are straight and/or normal). Which is both colorist, racist and homophobic. It's weird.
Some of those light-skinned guys are gay because they were pursued and abused by men when they were very young. Hence they were spiritually compromised and resorted to a homosexual lifestyle. This very sensitive topic needs to be addressed. By far, I am not implying that all light-skinned brothers are gay.
I love how you bring together supporting evidence from all over the pop culture landscape and take time to acknowledge your own potential biases. This video really made me think, thanks!
I'm glad I found this channel. It's good seeing black men actually talk about these topics for once. Black women have been at the forefront for the longest and it's really refreshing to see a black man join in on the conversation. I will say this tho: I think there's a conversation that needs to be had about why we collectively feel the need to label biracial people as "black." I feel like this is just another remnant of the 1 drop rule. Drake, Dwayne Johnson, and Vin Diesel are all biracial men. And that's okay. I don't feel like it needs to be this controversial thing to be biracial, especially considering that the overwhelming majority of their roles, although not explicitly stated, are perceived as white characters OR simply non-black. Anyway, I'm subscribing to this channel. I'm super interested to see all the future topics you'll tackle.
I randomly found this channel as well and I’m thankful! I also agree that i’m sick of bi racial people being called black. How come they’re never called white, Asian etc. they are bi racial and that is ok.
Finally! I always felt this way! Black ppl tend to go with the 1 drop rule, and never think that it actually initiated with white supremacy! We have to start using our brains, no matter how much thinking may "hurt"...
@@talkswithjas7959 I believe it's because I'm most cases( not all) white people don't like to accept others who aren't pure white as white. So biracial people tend to lean more towards their ethnic side for acceptance. If you're biracial you will still be called the n word by white people regardless if you're more white than black. But In an equitable society I don't think biracial people should have to identify with one side over the other and should be seen as both.
@@tymenlove6359 this. White people are DEFFINTELY in the business if gate keeping whiteness no matter if the person is half latino, asian, or black. And I think we all know why. That said, asians tend to do a similar thing. Naomi Osaka is not accepted as Japanese in Japan. And you can argue Japanese are super xenophobic but I have heard similar stories from black people mixed with other Asian ethnicities. I think it depends on the relationship of the parents though.
43:16 I keep the same energy for my son as I do my daughter. Let me find out an adult is preying on either one of them... I'm very protective of my kids and want them to remain "kids" as long as possible.
i'm so glad i stumbled upon your videos, fr. there are NOT enough black men having discourse like yours in general on platforms like youtube or anywhere else. i didn't even kno how much i was MISSING this voice in my understanding of black men's lives and experiences, so i appreciate your content. keep it up! this video was a great watch from start to finish
You should check out “appealing because he is appalling,” by Dr. Tamari Kitossa. He’s a sociologist who writes about black masculinity and “erotic racism”.
You know what's crazy. Rue is literally described as being dark in the book. Even Katniss Everdeen is supposed to be olive toned, but no one had a problem with her being white. Like??
I was too young to be on the internet at the time but i heard about it later and was so confused because i clearly remembered her being described as black in the books. I can only think it was a bunch of white supremacists who never read the books who got mad about it.
To be honest, I was pissed Rue was played by a biracial, the Hunger Games books were 👌, and it was clear as day that Rue was black as was District 12 (?) largely black. But I'm from the UK, and we know the difference between black and biracial and don't have any equivalent of 'one-drop'ing people.
Im a black trans man and Ive just started to pass as a man in a very white dominated city and Ive been trying to figure out what all this shit Ive started to get means and your videos are soooo helpful!
I can say as a young dark skinned black man, main stream media has always made seem more inferior. For instance growing up social media and other platforms have always pushed lightskiness as more attractive and more “ beautiful “ it’s only until now in today time have I seen taller darker toned men as myself reflected in society as normal or more popular. I think it’s weird
I recently watched this video. I see that I'm a year out from when it released. This is one of the best descriptions of colorism I have heard in a long time. Great job! Speaking as a dark skinned male actor and sociologist, I can relate to everything you said. I have been, "the black guy," in a few things. Lessons learned.
I don't know where to even start. I discovered your channel through Khadija and god was it a fresh take on topics I consider important. This video took me 3 days to get through because I kept having to stop, do life, and then get back to it, but I watched it, and even took notes on other videos I want to watch (the Rue one in particular and Khadija's one on why women in the media all look the same). But this video really did something for me, as in it made me really consider how I fetisize people and whether or not that includes taking away their humanity (which I believe it does). Thank you for that. I actually stopped watching porn because of the overt racism in it and how I felt porn (all porn really) was making me fetisize people, in particular the kind of people I was watching in porn. I don't believe porn is wrong, but I do believe it comes from and creates this sort of degradation of people (my opinion only), as in in the people we watch in porn who are actually real people and in most cases are not wanting to be there but are being forced to be there due to the money or other circumstances. I'm going off on a tangent. Thank you for this video. I subscribed to your channel and will continue to look forward to anything you put out. Thank you.
This was a really ambitious video and I enjoyed it. As far as why darker skinned Black men get more screen time than the light brights, I think it's both fetishization and that dark skinned Black men are the "default" choice for Black characters in general. I think there is a little bit of misogyny mixed with colorism involved with the casting of Black actors and actresses overall. The conversation around Black masculinity and particularly the fetishization of Black men needs much more attention and is highly nuanced. I salute you for taking a crack at it cuz no one else has. I can agree that part of the issue is that Black men don't have enough deep conversations about how they feel about these things. I've always been confused at how I'll feel more offended by the language used and images depicted of Black men in porn than Black men do (I'm a Black woman and that shit has always made me cringe). Also, I think that there is trauma that Black men have not processed that are leftovers of the flat out inhumanity and savagery of chattel slavery, ie. "Buck breaking," that inform a lot of what we think Black men should be or shouldn't. I think there is a lot of fear of being dominated if you show weakness that informs Black masculinity. Hyper-masculinity may be encouraged because they don't want to feel as though they are "less of a man." Oddly enough, I really see this exemplified in the Black lesbian community where there's a strong push for women to perform heteronormativity in their relationships. Some women that want to be percieved as more masculine perform a similar kind of hyper masculinity you see with straight guys (Young M.A. is a good example of this). It's always over the top. I also think that the demonization of feminine gay Black men in our community plays into our beliefs about Black masculinity as well. I just said a lot, but I do want to encourage you to keep the conversation going.
I never thought of this until I became a father. My complexion is similar to yours while my still infant son is light skinned. His mother's side comes from a long line of mixed Black people and a still living great great grandmother who is white. I sometimes think about how his complexion would play into his experiences as a man growing up.
Thank you so much for making this video! I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot and often try to discuss it with my friends who are Black men of various shades and backgrounds, but I often worry about being annoying or overstepping with some of my questions. Even though you aren’t a light skinned Black man I appreciate the care and nuance you brought to the topic. Most of the Black TH-camrs I follow who create video essays are younger women and I am so happy I found a Black man thoughtfully presenting topics like these.
JUST had an extremely annoying conversation where a man was adamant that colorism was just not a thing for men, and I showed them this video. THANK YOU
As a light skin guy its confusing. One the one hand we know dark skin men are considered more attractive. More masculine. No man likes to be considered LESS masculine or soft. It rattles some men to the point they overcompensate with exaggerated machismo. Dont call me. Soft. Thats an insult. However this percieved sexy masculinity in darker men stems from dangerous and worrying historic tropes. Theyre seen as more beastial, violent, savage. And nobody wants to be those things even more. Especially with the consequences that brings. From the lynchings to the longer sentances and police shootings. I watch some men revel in the attention from white mens fetishizations of the mandingo with a large tool. I used to feel away about that before i realised she is literaly seeing him like an animal to use and hes pleased with it. Now its an annoying trope for that reason. As far as represenation in movies goes I dont worry. I dont think the darker men are playing negative roles or playing to stereotypes at all. If they happen to be seen as more desirable thats ok. I dont think such things concern men the same way as women. Ive yet to hear women speak in terms like the young rappers in your video did so it doesnt carry over to real life. All the women in the 90s loving Morris Chestnut, Blair Underwood or whorever never stopped me doing well lol
Right! That fetishization is bad when they actually start thinking about their actual life goals with said person. Fetishistic aims don't translate well into real life ambitions & pursuits.
I personally think people think light skin men are more prettier lol, and more attractive. Being a light skin man has its stereotypical benefits as well. Light skin men are seen as less threatening, and more educated.
It's the comment section for meee. Thank you for such an insightful video! I learned so much and am really looking forward to exploring these biases in my personal life. Subscribed!
I found your channel through Khadijah Mbowe's shout out and i am so glad i i did!! Man i have binged almost all of your videos and your channel is refreshing and i love and respect your insight. Dope channel
As a light skin man I haven’t thought about it but after watching this I thought to myself “yeah I can’t think of too many A-list light skinned male actors either”. I’ll admit the “light skin = soft” jokes have always annoyed me and growing up I had to fight to prove I was tough to peers and even romantic partners growing up but I was always aware that being lighter in complex did benefit me in ways where my darker peers and (biological) brothers had it tougher. I mostly buried my feelings on it because I knew what I was facing wasn’t as detrimental but I found myself hating being lighter because I was taught that I was further from manhood and masculinity because of it. Women told me they wouldn’t feel as safe with me or even thought I couldn’t satisfy them because I wasn’t darker. It was something I felt but also felt wasn’t significant enough to talk about because my darker brothers and sisters had it harder. It’s a mind trip
Terrific video! I am a first-time viewer. This channel was recommended to me by the TH-cam algorithm. This was a fine use of my time. Good looking out YTA.
i took a break from social media for a while and when i return you've made not one, but SEVERAL videos and now have 1k subscribers? awesome and congrats!!! i know what im gonna be binge watching later.
Low key your Fandom made me go a little harder and introduced me to Kadija so you got a special shout out coming when I make it into the partner program
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 88 | คู่เอก "ป้อมเพชร vs อัสลามจอน"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ZqTVVbMgbo/mqdefault.jpg)
the colorism that feminizes and emasculates light skin black men is the same colorism that defeminizes and masculinizes dark skin black women. It's the same issue, but black women are more vocal about it
I thought it was that
@@graciousgrace7509 Well because fair skinned men like Italians, Arabs and some South Asians are not considered feminine. Nor is the pale white man. So, it really does not add up.
@@reinelena9915 Yes, it does add up; I don't get your point.
I feel like this is a little issue.. light skin men are still seen as more attractive than dark skin men.
@@reinelena9915 in this discussion we’re only referring to black people, so it does add up
The trouble is in media dark skin is considered masculine and light skin is considered feminine. Which is why basically every black woman speaking roll in something is mixed to very light skinned up until you need a “strong black woman” character then you’ll get a middle aged dark skinned actress or if you need a little brat character then you’ll get a rare dark skinned little girl and you don’t see a light skinned black man until you need a “soft romantic lead” and it’s actually pretty fucked. This is essentially the root of the trouble and how colorism is playing out and needs to be deconstructed moving forward.
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Bingo! Black = masculine & white = feminine. Society rules pretty much sayin that Black people are men and white people are women. This is why in media there's rarely any dark skin Black women. They always give the Black family on tv or movies a light skin biracial wife and daughter with a dark skin husband and son.
@@TrapHashira1161 if white or light is feminine than why are white men not viewed as feminine and why do they have so much diverse roles in the media.
@@mandamandamanda6722 We r talking abt black ppl
Was Vin Diesel,The Rock(Duane Johnson), Malcolm X,Chino Xl soft??
Wow. The part about black men who were sexually assaulted as children receiving horrible responses. "that's so gross, people do such weird things" and "they say that's why he's so good now" has a pit in my stomach. Thank you for revealing this and advocating for them.
Agreed
It was really a shock and allowed me to have a little more empathy for Chris brown
What he was describing was so horrifying and everybody around him was just giggling. What the fuck.
And then he reveals that this is some shit he’s never said to anybody, this is so dark shit that he’s dealt with his entire life and they’re just laughing at it.
@@Blueeyesthewarrior I'm sure as hell not going to defend them, but some people have a kind of 'giggle' response to hearing about certain kinds of trauma. It's like they can't process it all in that moment, and all they can eke out is some kind of laugh and maybe a couple quick platitudes, often just repeated until someone else changes the topic.
It sucks, and it isn't right, but it's also a known response. Some people just can't process things like that well, especially if they weren't expecting that kind of conversation. But other than making things like mental health and trauma more acceptable and normalized topics of conversations, so more people could do better in a moment like that, I don't really have a idea how to make sure shit like that didn't happen as often. And I guess some number of folks would still be terrible people even then.
Same. Like I was just sitting there going “that’s rape. That pedophilia and rape.” And the theyre all just playing it off and laughing
A straight black man so comfortable in his masculinity , to be able to casually talk about gay porn …. And use the term Bottoming… I could shed a tear! This is sad that this is so rare. But I got choked up, when you didn’t even flinch at a gay term… WOW!
🤣
Keeping it real it was a a process. If you'd have met me 10 years ago it wouldn't have been so seamless. That's a profound But also sad realization I didn't even think of while recording.
I wholeheartedly agree
@@FDSignifire At least you are self aware and grew as a person. That's progression
same i had to subscribe so fast
Yes, as a gay man I also have to give you props! Most straight guys just will not conversationally go there, in fact I was very surprised when you brought it up!
This woman I follow on tumblr and twitter made a hypothetical post about if Black men were cast the same way Black women are. So she took a bunch of dark skinned Black men from comic books and fancast them with light skinned Black men. Others joined in adding their own choices.
The responses were hilarious people didn't even read the title they saw Marcus Scribner next to Miles Morales and some other light skinned boy for Virgil Hawkins/Static and went off. She responded with hey were all black why should it matter that's what you tell dark skinned women so what the problem. It was hilarious
You just made me realize I left of the craziness of Chadwick playing Thurgood.... aaaah I'm so mad I missed that! But yeah it's crazy how comfortable we are with black women's erasure and how Chadwick, God bless him, playing a very light man got maybe 30 seconds of consternation
@@FDSignifire oh just remembered when people were upset that The Rock was gonna be playing John Henry and they were like no Mr lite brite, very rarely Black over here.
I was laughing at it, I was one of the people going "what's the problem we all niggas right?"
Damn I don't even remember that. People still arguing about the Rock being black enough. Damn I feel like I need a part 2 now lol
@@FDSignifire it worked out for him in the end that Terry crews was in the movie and the movies was shit and made no fucking sense
I could say it's the massive audience movies and shows want to attract .Majority of this movies and shows are not made for us black folks but to satisfy white audiences while blind us that" hey we are being inclusive you know".
The fetish for dark black men is very strong than lightskinned men. Roles reverse when it comes to women . There was an outrage on Teen Titans when they casted a dark skinned girl for the role of Starfire but no outrage when they had a light skinned Halle Berry for Storm ( which in comics she ought to look more like Lupita) but had it been the other way round with men the demand to have a dark skinned actor would be so high .
This movies are not made for us at all
This reminded me of the conversation around Terry Crews being sexually harassed a couple of years ago. I think he's the only black man I've heard talk about stuff like this and his fight against the emasculation jokes and assurance on the power imbalances and racialized nature that allowed the situation to happen was really something to behold.
Yeah and so many people made fun of him for it and basically told him to get over it when he was legitimately sexually assaulted!!
@@ryg3693 💯
If a lightskin man said what terry crews said “ People would of fucked him up on the internet
I remember a kid I went to school with tried to say he was a p*ssy for talking about being sexually harassed. I said "say that to his face" and he shut up fast.
Wendy Williams coverage of that was so gross.
The roles for black men are usually thuggish and demeaning and don't fall in line with the stereotypes of light skin men. When they wanted the black man to be romantic/prince charming...they got a biracial light skin man for Bridgerton. I don't believe Hollywood thinks light skin men are feminine. I believe they think light skin men are friendly, safe, prince charming and that's not what Hollywood usually looks for when creating black male characters. They don't ever make Disney princes black men, not even in 'The Frog and the Princess'.
Princess and the frog is the only movie where they made the princess darker. 99%of tv shows have dark skin men with lightskin women . I think they did a great job with princess of the frog. We need to balance it out. I need to see more dark skin black women with lightskin men like bm do !! Period
@@astridediva we get it. You hate black men. Just come out and say it.
@@astridediva I completely Agree with you. I looovee seeing Dark Women with Light Men❤...Alot of Dark women Say foolishly They only Want a Dark Man but dark Men dont even Want dark women...Lol!..So Pathetic
@@Ditzychocofem_Rosa bruh. Why would you try to recitfy colourism with more colourism?
@@Ditzychocofem_Rosa I get the sentiment but you can lift up light skin men without feeling the need to put down dark skin men. Colourism ain't cute
this reminds me of Vin Diesels issues breaking into acting; he was often told he was too light to play black men and too black to play white men so he produced and starred in his own movie which reflects the struggle of being caught between worlds and not really be accepted by either community.
Definitely
Vin diesel biggest role is as a Hispanic man .
@@ecatskid Riddick bruh check it out. That’s why he ran fast into the ground.
@F.D signifier. I catch he’ll for being light skin for never listening to a drake album!!!
I grew up in south central LA! And I’ve had the pleasure of moving around the states, my mother ended up settling in the south. And As a light skin man coming into my 20’s all I ever heard was…
1. Eww You look like you like you like white girls.
2. Boy bye I don’t talk to light skins.
3. Being ignored in our own establishments.
4. Told you don’t know the real struggle.
5. You to rough, or too polished.
6. Light skin woman have looked at me with repulse upon approach.
I have never experienced this privilege that is spoken of in any fashion??? light skin actors always had a duality to them just the edgy thug/ artists (LOOKING TO BE RECOGNIZED) …Ex Ricky from barbershop or Arnez from 1on1.
We catch the bottom barrel of hell and don’t complain.
I feel that "between worlds" mood hardcore. Definitely not white, definitely not any other particular thing
As a light skinned black man, I am aware that I benefit from society’s view. I was told once that it would be easier for me to start a business in the service industry because I was “Obama Black”. I have also frequently been referred to as “ambiguously brown.”
What makes this difficult is the feeling of not belonging. My mother is Mexican but looks white. She did not speak Spanish. I do not speak Spanish. I have no connection to the culture from that side of my family. And most people do not know I am half Mexican.
But on the black side of my family, which I identify with more, I have always been viewed as “not black enough”. I am treated as “other” because my struggle is not as hard as theirs or because I was fortunate enough to grow up in a diverse liberal area, etc.
Not Black enough for the blacks. Not mexican enough for the Mexicans. Not white enough for the whites. Just “ambiguous brown”.
And the issue you discuss in this video just emphasizes that. Whether your identity is stripped because you’re just a “black body” or your identity is stripped because you’re “not really black”, it’s dehumanizing. You’re denied your identity. But for light skinned men, it’s denied by everyone, even other black people.
I’ve always related to Childish Gambino’s lyric “culture shock in barber shops cause I ain’t hood enough. We all look the same to the cops, ain’t that good enough.”
I'm sorry for your experience. If only race wasnt made to be such a reality for people in this world, it wouldnt really matter. I'll just say that regardless of what other blacks say about you, a lot of them wish they were you at the same time because of the privledges you get...and unfortunately as the video showed, some of black people really hate being black...it's sad and a bit pathethic but you cant completely disregard the reason why they feel that way given the world we're in.
The most important thing you can do is try to embrace both aspects of your identity because you know what you are.
Also, whites will NEVER accept a mixed person of any race comvination as their own. I noticed whether the perasn is mixed with Asian, black, latino. They want to set apart whiteness and i think we all know why...
i whole heartedly feel where your coming from. Im biracial as well and its a weird feeling to beneift from being a lighter complexion yet at the same time to feel like I don't belong anywhere. I remember in highshcool my friends would always joke that I had "the best of both worlds" but what's the point if your not light enough to be white, or dark enough to be black. It honestly sucks.
@@tj2themax This hit hard. Always helps to see there’s other people sharing the experiences and struggles that I have. I’ve literally heard that EXACT same term plenty of times throughout my life. It’s weird
@@ki11acam_23 for me too. I was always worried that my experience with this was unique and im glad that, in some degree, we get to talk about it.
You arent a "light skin black man" you are biracial.
As a pretty light-skinned black actor, I've faced the notion of not being "black enough" countless times. I try my best to not be a victim, focus on what I can control- my skills. But, it's a thing. Vin Diesel made a short film in the 90's called Multi-Facial (horrible name, but solid film) about not being black enough for black roles, white enough for white roles, and not speaking Spanish for Hispanic roles. It really touched on an experience I've never seen dealt with. He and I are the same complexion (and build), so it was very inspiring to me. I've found that I have no one to open up to about this because to my darker-skinned brothers and sisters, It's like complaining about being seen as "more attractive." Everyone thinks things will be easier for me because I'm lighter-skinned. But in a world like acting that deals with "type," it's not a boon.
I've gone to parties and dark-skinned men will not greet me or shake my hand, because (I quote): "I don't fuck with light-skinned niqqas." I'm not seen as one of the men, even though I've never used "light-skin" as a signifier of superiority. I'm something else to them. And it's the same with casting directors. If they need a token black character, can they risk a light-skinned one who someone might be able to make a case that he isn't black enough? The vast majority of roles I audition for are for hard, mythically precocious black teens and young men. I'm from East New York, and I'm still not hard enough hahaha. When I do book roles, it's for characters that aren't made to be explicitly black, as was mentioned in the video regarding The Rock and Vin Diesel. My body/sexuality is always on display, not in an animalistic, but a more sensitive way.
This video really made me feel seen. I appreciate it so much. Subscribed!
Same here as a lightskinned actor!!!
Yeah I hate that. I acknowledge that although I'm not light skinned. Maybe a brown or darker for me but being pro-safe brown should not mean anti-light skin.
I feel like light skinned brothas get a complex because of the criticism for light skin as if you chose a secret package prior to birth to be light skinned.
I believe it's based on colorism and a hate based on benefits based on a past likened whiteness and insecurity.
I don't think lighter skin is superior but I do think people have a visual preference for lighter-skinned black...women.
It's pretty unfortunate because my complexion might be seen as stereotypically black when yours might not and that's definitely not okay.
We black people should value each other because at the 3nd of the day, we just wanna be accepted as we are as black people trying to do our best in society.
We shouldn't be trying to make that harder on each other for figurative reasons that might be based on historical trauma or insecurity.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Hollywood is all types of messed up. And I'm from Beverly Hills so I understand.
Lin Manuel just got all that blow back for using afro Latinos that weren't AFRO enough. The actors weren't Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas in Washington Heights...they looked Caribbean to me. U almost can't win.
Thank you for
this post! I am a light skinned woman and I have always dreamed of being dark skinned because if the ridicule I get for being light. I’m not black enough to fit in with my people, I’m not white enough to be accepted by the others so I’m just left here in my own lonely class not fitting in with anyone. Darker women look at me and automatically assume I’m conceited like I think I’m pretty because I’m light when I grew up being told I was ugly because I’m not dark enough so i don’t fit into the so called “light skinned pretty crowd” I never developed that confidence because I was always torn down for not being black enough. Everytime I see a light skinned woman say something about not being accepted, it’s always geared towards “being light and pretty” but that’s not my experience either. I wasn’t “not accepted for being so called pretty” I just flat out wasnt accepted. But I’m not allowed to speak on it because people always ASSUME my experience was not so bad because I’m light. News flash…. Light skinned females catch colorism too, and not because of being “pretty” like people try to say…..it’s just because of being light! I never been told “your too pretty” I’ve only been told “your not black enough”
As a light skinned dude, I’ve struggled a lot with my peers and family members looking fun and questioning my masculinity and blackness as a child and teen. But as I’ve grown I’ve definitely come to terms with myself, going to an HBC and seeing a wide diversity of othe black folk helped.
i would rather have that than being dehumanized for being darkskinned.
@@lenab.m.3708 I swear
@@lenab.m.3708 You can share your experience without minimising/belittling someone else’s pain & experience
I tell you something, babe, you do you. Every person is beautiful in their own way. Bad people will say stuff, you will feel hurt but just get past it cause you're better than that.
Love that you got past that. God bless you.
I just discovered your channel and can't wait to binge watch more! I'm a dark skinned black woman working in the adult industry. I think a lot of fetishization that dark skinned black men receive are also put on dark skinned women. I am expected to be strong, dominant, mean, forceful, cruel a top etc. And while I can play this role, it seems my multifaceted personality is lost in the colorist stereotype.
Aww, too bad for ya sista!
You are still a 3 dimensional person and child of god.
What is your stage name in porn
Non-black person here. I didn't know a lot of black people growing up, especially black women. Due to media portrayals, I thought black women naturally had lighter skin than black men when I was younger. It was until (you guessed it) university that I learned better due to meeting more diverse people.
Same !! Exactly my experience. Then as an adult I learned about colorism 😳
I heard the same thing from my brother who is brown skin. I am brownish to dark depending on lighting but yeah, for some reason he believed that women tended to be lighter despite the fact that I , his sister, was darker than him.
wow. never heard anything like this but makes so much sense
Y'all always want to inject yourself into the conversation. Stfu
Wow, this is crazy, but not surprising. I hope you are learning more about colorism in the media😅💯
As a light skinned Black man, I always assume my problems are not as important as my darker skinned friends. I know there are a lot of advantages I'll have unconsciously. But I also feel like I need to perform more around other black people, like I'm fighting to keep my "Black Card", especially if I don't act the way Black people in the media do. I assumed if i was darker than that preassure to perform woudn't be there.
Nope it’s all the same. I’m a darker black woman, and believe it or not I’m not seen as black enough either.
i think having a solid western name makes you palatable to whiteness socially ,especially when it is combined with fair skin. it provides safety tbh. Be both need to recognize the game for what it is.
i have 2 rock solid southern african names. *Phiwokwakhe* is my first name. My name performs dark skinned ancestry on its own and it invites lots of anti-blackness with it but my skin tone doesn't "match it". i still get my African card canceled . I speak 2 actual african languages and the folk that cancel me would rather learn ESPA-NOOOOL instead.
@@PHlophe Pardon me, please, if this is too forward or anything, but how do you pronounce your name, Phiwokwakhe?
@@LanerGuy not a problem. its pronounced Piu - kwah - Hee
@@PHlophe Thank you! I really appreciate this! :)
So to be sure, the "Piu" should sound similar to the "pew" in "church pew"?
"Since he started so young thats why he was so good" That was probably the most disturbing thing you've shown on this channel that I've seen so far
I’m a black woman. I can’t speak from a man’s perspective but I did talk to my man who is a black man on his experience. My man who is lighter skin and is the lightest of his family admitted he benefited from being good looking and lighter skin and was put on a pedestal. Now that is his experience. Other black men may not have had that experience. I did hear ignorant comments from both black men and women who said that light skin men were “ weak “ and “ feminine” and dark skin men are “more attractive”, “aggressive “, and “masculine”. Associating dark skin with masculine and aggression while light skin is seen as feminine and weak has had very harmful effects on the black community. As a dark skin black woman, I had to “ prove “ I was feminine and nice and not masculine, angry, and aggressive because of the angry black woman stereotype.
Exactly. I personally think the colorism of dark/light skin has less to do with actual colorism and more to do with being seen as masculine/feminine. Think about it. In a lot of cartoons and movies, like old cartoons with talking animals, the male animal was always darker toned, while his female counterpart was always lighter toned. And throughout history, men who worked out on the fields had darker skin, and women, who stayed indoors, had lighter skin. That's why it's so hard for dark women and light men in the black community and elsewhere. Darker skin is associated with masculinity and hardness, while light skin is associated with femininity and softness
Dark skin women have shot themselves in the foot with that narrative
I wonder how the individuals surroundings differed? This is probably an oversimplification, but those polar opposite experiences come off like one has an atmosphere where there's a desire to fit in a white supremacist society and the other has a desire to reject it.
@@ninibugg6203 It was the same in Victorian England. The peasants worked outside, so their skin was darker. Middle class and aristocratic women kept out of the sun, so light skin had status.
This changed later on in the 20th century where having darker skin meant that you could afford to travel.
Interestingly enough the heartland of heavy industry was in the North of England and even though those industries died out years ago, working class white women in those are still seen as "masculine" to some degree.
I think people are lying about dark skin being more attractive
I've been telling people "you are what ever race the police think you are" for decades. Glad to catch someone else saying it.
As a Jew I use that for myself whenever someone brings up the “are [some] Jews white” debate. I am white since the police think I am and it is much safer for me to film them during a traffic stop, attend a protest, etc. than it is for a Jew or gentile of color.
Another layer to this is that it acknowledges that whites are in control of other people's racial identity based upon how they perceive and categorize them. its like that family guy color spectrum meme. It highlights how you are what whites think you are and your racial identity isn't defined by your heritage or parentage or however you yourself define yourself, its based upon what's most convenient for whites to think of you as and upon how much of a threat you present to them. (this can be extended to the rhetoric that operates from the same place as "but youre not *really* black", "youre not like other black people", "youre barely black/im more black than you are")
@@khazermashkes2316 How d'you reckon it works for eastern european immigrantsm I have near to no knowledge on the topic so I don't know the police bias for or against, sure looks black but how would they react when they hear the accent, I mean most media representation I see are mobsters scammers or bumbling morons so I was wondering.
i always said “if a racist police officer pulled you over, would you get shot?”
Okaaaay,lol! I agree. I agree. Everything else is just Krispy Kreme and Kool-Aid.
As a mixed indigenous person, your definition of "what the police think you are" is EXACTLY why I refer to myself as white, and will continue to do so. I am proud of my indigenous heritage, but I cannot deny my lived experience. It is extremely important for people to realize their identity is not just based on how they feel, but how they are seen.
😂
i dont really fw the definition, because for me as mixed white-hispanic, it's usually a coin toss what race people will see me as. i've been called hispanic slurs by some, and told by others that they never would have guessed im hispanic
I don't think it is fitting for everyone. Cause if I had to identify based on how I am seen, I would be claiming that I am arabic right now, even if as far as I know I have no arabic ancestors. that would be very disrespectful, misleading and untrue.
oh same here. i may be Michif but the police won’t be able to tell that unless i open my mouth in a very specific way
Your ancestors weep.
Another thing I just realized, almost all of our colorism conversations are ableist as hell. We NEVER mention black people with albinism and consider how they fit into all of this. We also do not think about how black people with visual challenges may experience or be affected by colorism.
Yup dat is true unfortunately
Please keep elaborating on this topic. For some odd reason colorism conversations degenerate into “dating preferences” and “sex.” Masculinity is as complex as femininity, so we’re here for these non-sexual conversations. Peace. 🌟
In terms of black men being the butt of jokes for facing sexual harassment/ assault terry crews cannot be forgotten
43:50 "He actually lost his virginity at the age of 8" WTF ! I don't know the legal definition of rape in the USA, but in many countries including mine the act of forcing penetration is rape. Doing this with a child of less than 12 years can go up to 20 years in prison (this is pretty much one of the worst crimes you can do in France, for example killing someone due to negligence is 7 years of prison, murdering someone 30 years, dealing drugs 10 years).
Discussing this criminal act as losing virginity and laughing about it is disgusting.
It's illegal here too. Unfortunately it happens. With boys specifically, the perpetrators can often go unpunished because patriarchal beliefs make boys feel like they are not being violated when they are. So many pedophiles don't get caught.
Yes wtf, I have never heard someone being raped as a child being worded as "he lost his virginity at such a young age!"
Why were they laughing like this wasn’t a crime?
"because he got started so young, that's why he was so good" I *hope* that if someone spoke this way about a little girl who was violated at the tender age of 8, they would be swiftly condemned. It's really sad that speaking this way about a little boy did not produce the same consequences.
@@leebird9023 - because there IS still a double standard. And women and men are NOT equals in any and all things and this is one area that reveal is proven. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it is what it is.
I'm a light skin Indian American man, and I definitely see similar systems within South Asian communities as well. In the U.S., there are many parallels because dark skinned South Asian men are usually fetishized or at least more coveted than light skinned men among South Asian people, and while I have personally faced some jokes about my complexion, I don't think it really compares to the amount of danger/scrutiny that comes with having dark skin for South Asian, Black, and other melaninated men. The interesting part is that the conversation almost flips when we talk about South Asian media because while dark skinned men still get more leeway when compared to dark skinned women, South Asian markets still heavily favor light skinned men, and skin bleaching products marketed for men are very popular overseas.
Also, It's important to mention the systems that masculinize Black men at the same time feminize Asian men (Specifically, East Asian men because South Asian men are typically not considered Asian), and in pornography, you will see a lot less of Asian tops because they are always fetishized to be feminine, child-like, and submissive to White or Black men.
There's a great book that helped shape my thoughts on this called views from the bottom about an east Asian gay porn performer. It spoke to a lot of this issue. You should consider checking it out if you're a reader.
Bro I'm African American Afro Puerto Rican and Bangladeshi. So much anti blackness in Latino/Hispanic and South Asian communities. My Bangladeshi ancestors some of them looked Meleneseian Papuan so they were dark skinned and they are beautiful!
Wow, that's really interesting.
I've thought about this a lot in the past but something just occurred to me, reading your comment. To be feminized is often equivalent to being seen as woman-like, so it makes sense that gay Asian men are thought of similarly to straight Asian women.
Bollywood prefers light skin men, but the South Indian industry usually casts a dark skin man as the lead actor and pair him up with the lightest woman they can find 🤷♂️
As a biracial black-appearing man, I’ve gotta say that you’ve really been amazing at helping me understand so much about myself and the culture surrounding me that I’ve never been able to fully participate in (raised by white people).
This is so powerful. Makes me cry. Im glad he is helping you
Imagine being called. Yellow as child just because my skinn was lighter I was told it was a nickname now I see. It's not a nickname it was colorism now that I'm darker in skill color I'm 24 now I never got called it since I was like 10 or 11 but I was told it was a joke or funny but it's not it's quite offensive
That’s cool bro, hope u find ur identity
@updOg1 that's a powerful testimony. We all need to unpack how White supremacy has shaped us personally.
Huh ur biracial and black lol I'm mixed race but get classed as a so called black man, but I'm not black..I'm light brown if I was a crayon
This is how I felt about the Jada and August situation. She sat on that red table and told us how she preyed on a young man (young enough to be her son), who was going through a mental and emotional breakdown. So she decided to "heal him" by sleeping with him?? And almost everyone was like "he's a man, he can't get taken advantage of" "Jada is so beautiful, I wish I could sleep with her".
If you reverse the sexes it would be considered grooming.
Yeah a few homies of mine were like isn't like that "rapey" and she's talking like it's 100% fine and everybody around her has to deal with it. I was like "Jada might need to jail". Since taking advantage of somebody mental instability or lack of mental awareness can be deemed rape. If your mind isn't in the right place you really cannot consent. I felt bad for Jaden, August and Will, so what if Will did whatever he did you don't run after one of your son's peers and then have all of that air'ed out.
@@TheBaconBasket1 y'all sound outrageous as fuck August Alsina was in mid to late twenties living in they house wtf is you talkin about two grown ppl fuckin as "grooming" a lot of y'all have never left the house clearly it's sad
Morally it was wrong of her to take advantage of him, and I am just speculating, but legally it was not illegal, because he was not deemed incompetent by a court or a medical professional, neither was he known to have a mental illness or disease that made him incapable of making decisions or choices. But morally still wrong(and here I am speculating).
They were more worried about the fact that Jada "cheated" even though her and will have been going outside the marriage for years. Like taking advantage of a mentally vulnerable person for sexual satisfaction is okay but a black man being perceived as being cheated on can't be ignored. They decided to turn it into a black women aren't shit moment, instead of focusing on the real problem that occurred.
31:37 idk man.. this is part of why some black women including myself has struggled like hard with my self esteem and self worth.. like it's not enough to get rejected by someone who literally is a reflection of you.. but they compare you to others and shame you just for being a darkskined black woman..
This video is very informative and interesting but this part almost made me cry like god damn..
Exactly
yeah its sad
I'm lightskinned and I'm NOT mixed.. always hated that how people straight think this. I'm proud of and love being black. But the rejection from being lightskinned or fake acceptance from people until they see or hear how "black" I really am throws them off.. so yeah glad this talk came up especially from F.D.
Another facet of being light skinned is the "what are you" questions , you constantly have to justify why you are light skinned or minority depending on who you are talking too.
Very frustrating. And people will only stop pestering you when you say something like “I mean there is some European ancestry in my family”. Never mind that the average black person in the US has at least 1/8 European blood due to colonialism.
@@MsMvsc Exactly. At the end of the day were all people. Bleed the same. Unless I voluntarily want to tell someone my ethnicity, it's exhausting expliaing my background. I just tell people I'm mixed and leave it at that.
You ain't lying.
True, it’s really irritating to be honest
@@Zaylio and rude. I hate it😠
A few months ago, I Googled "colorism of/for dark/light skinned men"
I got articles about colorism for black women EVERY time. I think one writer talked about how Steph Curry is described /treated differently than darker skinned players, but I guess I didn't expect colorism to be treated as an exclusively female problem, when I know it's not. This video was just the thing I was looking for.
It's plight is more harsh on females compared to males.Dark skin woman struggles both in black community and also outside community.LSM have some Light skin priviledges that they enjoy
but Steph Curry is considered attractive and palatable to a much broader audience than a darkskin athlete and marketing through sponsors is an athlete's bread and butter. A lot of people (non black people) that don't find unambiguous black men attractive would find Steph Curry handsome due to his Eurocentric features.
agreed
@Apathy Gaming Nope, i don't. That's just what some other web article said. IDK what Steph Curry or anyone else does on and off the court. Never said i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Then talk about it... but they don't beacue they love to direct it towards darkskin women and label it a prefrence
Your channel got recommended by the algorithm randomly and I was like "huh? Ok let's listen". And I can't be grateful enough for that decision. This is like my 4th video that I watch. And I've been listening to some black women creators talk about colorism and representation. But I never really watched a black man doing the same. Im not from the US, so I do not have the insight on how the racial interactions occur over there, but I want to learn and to listen to black creators.
Thank you for your videos
Maybe dark skin black women and light skin black men should team up and produce movies with dark skin black female and light skin black male leads.
Team up and give us some more brown skinned babies!
Or date each other! Bcuz Dark-skinned black men don't care about nobody but themselves😂
@@montprice6722 Kevin Hart and Da baybee walked out of this thread.
@@PHlophe 😂😂
Brown skinned and dark skinned men that I’ve liked always preference light skinned or mixed girls. All the guys that liked me back were mixed or light skinned so you might be onto something. I can’t understand it because I love Black men in all shades.
In the UK when I was younger on a good portion of shows made over here if there was a Black character man or woman they were light skinned rarely did they get darker. dark skinned men would show up more than dark skinned women though. Its was like we didn't exist on TV unless it was a very negative depiction.
I don't have anything to add or say, just that I clicked this link on a whim without looking at the length and the next thing you know it was an hour later and I had a lot to think about. Subcribed for sure, going to check out your other videos. Some real quality content/analysis! Thank you!
Europe values light and biracial women with eurocentric features . I have seen quite a lot of European movies only a handful had dark skinned women and they would maybe show up on one scene with no storyline and that's it . The woman given attention is always a biracial and very lightskinned with curly hair ( she's the darkest they could find according to them) .This movies and shows are not for us , the audience is a white majority audience it's what they want to see .
Yeah I had often seen that dynamic too. At one point i liked seeing that difference but found it to be too common like that was the preference.
It's not very good. I like the depiction of OG Aunt Viv from Fresh Prince and seen how she wasn't replaced with a similar actress but an extremely different character.
It just shown to me the preferences in the industry was for its black people that we bought into colorism as it related to gender.
Love Issa Rae though. Her positivity just leaps off the screen a d Viola Davis just acts with magnitude.
@@Theohybrid true , the industry has a strong preference for what they like on screen on black women . And if they do cast a black darker skinned woman she's always the supportive black friend, a prostitute, partyholic , lesbian or stripper. But now I am seeing a few changes here and there ... ISSA Rae is like Fenty when black women cried about Orange foundations many brands laughed and ignored Fenty came and heard the cry now this other brand are running to play diversity notice how in many campaigns they have black darker skinned women yet they always had just one biracial girl as" the black girl ."
ISSA Rae is making moves bold moves .
Thank you! I just left a comment on what the UK is like. The black men NEEDED to be white and black. They couldn’t be lighter black folk. The African-American and black British experience is very very different (but somehow the same?). Darker black people are NOT the preference over here, no matter the sex/gender.
I used to go to a predominantly black public school and was the only white kid in my class and I remember seeing so much racism. So many students roasted each other for being "too white" or "too dark". I used to ride home every day on the bus with one of my friends who was a very dark skinned African dude. He was the most talented and respectful guy I knew. But the other kids used to just sit there and roast him for how dark he was and he didn't have much choice other than to sit there and take it. It was shocking to me and never really made sense, until I learned more about American history. That really opened my eyes to just how deeply intrenched racism is in America.
You're like the first straight male pro black content creator I've stumbled upon and I'm not getting low vibes from...excellent material ❤
Low vibes? What's that mean?
@@GoSuMonSteR blatant ignorance. Speaking from experience lol.
Edit: specifically misogyny and homophobia
Subscribe to “taz the goat”. He’s awesome!
@@Amber-db9cz And to piggyback, check out T1J's videos
Black women don't trust the sexuality of intellectual black men...
YES FINALLY! Someone talking about the struggle Light Skin/Dark skin men deal with. As a mother of two black boys (one is brown skin the other is light) I appreciate your video. I always felt light skin guys and dark skin women suffer the most when it comes to colorism and how we are perceived by others. Most think colorism is a social societal issue that can be cured with self love. Unfortunately, solving this issue will require introspection and change in media. Self love still isn't enough for someone else to blindly value you as a person.
Talent seems to only be based on skin tone and features.
You could be my mother I’m brown skin, with a light skin brother, and dark skin older brother. We come in so many colors!
Dark skin women and light skin men don’t suffer the exact same. It’s a little bit more nuanced. Dark skin people are still seen as menacing whereas light skin as more white adjacent with all stereotypes it entails, even on the continent.In the Job, dating market Dark skin Women still bear the brunt of Most. Including within their own community. For every time a light skin man will be call « soft » He will seldom have difficulties finding romantic /sexual partners or a job.
Contrasting with Dark skin women, who have it tough out there. On most accounts.Honestly.
Ultimately, We are ALL denied the multidimensional nuances of our humanity, because of our skin color, because We are not white.
There’s lie the problem.
@@TititoDeBologay >>>>>>>>> biiiig facts. There’s far more nuance to it that “dark skin black women and light skin men suffer the most” uhh…kind of. But the severity and types of disadvantages look veeerry different. And before someone @ me about making this about dark skin people, light skin struggles with colorism are very very valid. Let’s refrain from inaccurate, sweeping statement tho.
Light skin don't suffer more. Please don't compare themselves to dark skin women. It it not the same
The sexual violence issue you talked about is so disturbing and only recently I got to know about the twisted views people have on that through a tiktok trend. My friend shared with me this tiktok video that somewhat commended these rappers and other artists, mostly from the Black community, for having "started" their sexual lives early on. They treat it as if it weren't sexual assault and ped*philia, so it either becomes something to flex about (????) or it's played for laughs, even in mainstream media. So the whole discourse regarding how sex is all about consent, safety and a constant dialogue between partners just go directly in the bin. What alternative universe is this where boys aren't really seen as innocent, vulnerable children? It's baffling.
it goes doubly because i feel like a lot of black kids arent really veiwed as kids....
Black people are never allowed a childhood.
@@yoongitrash2699 for sure
As a light skinned brotha, I have to say that I appreciate you taking the time and putting in the effort to not only do this video, but to do it in a way that is thoughtful and respectful. I remember growing up and hating being light skinned, but not being the right type of light skinned. I have dark, course, and super curly( Some would call nappy) hair. I have dark brown eyes, not green or hazel. I'm short( for a black man) at 5'9. Although I'm a high yellow, half passed piss color as my mom would joke. Females would routinely associate me with all the negative stereotypes of light guys like being an "Uncle Tom" or "sellout" or "teacher's pet." I was considered safe but for husband material but not someone to "have fun with." I even had some female say they wanted to have my babies to guarantee that their children weren't "too dark!" It was assume that I was a pretty boy who was self absorbed. That I would only be interested in a dark skinned female was to use her sexually this dismiss her without care, like some kind of player. It was assumed that I might be gay. That happened alot, even by dark skinned gay men. I also wanted to be bigger darker and appear more masculine, without having to go all toxic!
Dude I'm sorry for you having had a hard time of it due to your skin tone.
I felt that with every ounce of my soul, especially the last part. Stay strong
Same here.high yellow fellow here. you think your better than us.i got that accusation a lot growing up or that all the girls liked me.etc.etc.
Thanks so very much for sharing your lived experience. That meant a lot to hear.
Actually, colorism against light-skin black men and the obvious parallel to dark-skinned black women was tackled years ago by TH-camrs like Chrissie. What I haven't seen, is a safe brown or darker-skinned, unambiguous black male like yourself tackling the subject from the perspective of the light-skinned male. This was very interesting coming from a male.
Yeah! I love only heard of the topic from females but not black men themselves.
I've found that it made me idealize that image of the dark male paired with the lighter skinned woman. It was just visually interesting.
But, I don't think we see enough Isa Rae's out there who are to be darker-skinned but have great personality.
We do need more of them for more people to be exposed to positive black female images that aren't paper bag test determined and aren't necessarily political.
Yep her and Lovelyti, I'm subscribed to both.
All they do is shit talk bm 😂😂 but go awf geez
I love this take. I'm a light skinned Black man and I've been unpacking what that means for me for years. In my experience, the most represented I felt in media was when Miles Morales came on the scene as Spider-Man. What I think is interesting is how, when I'm in primarily Black spaces, my lightness is often viewed as making me inherently "weaker" or I guess less masculine than my male peers. But when I'm in primarily white spaces, the people around me generally assume that I'm the strongest person in the room. Working in an office has always been an interesting dynamic for me too. I notice that most people generally view me as nonthreatening, unless they don't know me. I've definitely had people pick up the phone for security until I show them my badge that is usually already on full display.
👍💯
on a side note, I think one of the reasons you'll see lighter complexioned black men in baseball more frequently is because a large percentage of black baseball players are afro Latino Cubans, Dominicans, Venezuelans (etc) who (obviously) are more likely to be of mixed racial descent. Baseball hasn't been a popular sport in the African American community in a long time (and when it was, most of the popular black players played in the Negro League.)
Great points. It’s also cheaper pulling those black dudes from Latin America than the states.
In less than 30 years, America has priced black people out of baseball. It’s horrible. Most pewee & under 18 baseball leagues are in the burbs where black population is really small.
@@ahanna76 funny you should mention that. I was on the treadmill at the gym yesterday and they had the Little League World Series going. I noticed there were so few black and Hispanic kids playing and I had this exact thought. After all, many black families (and Hispanic families for that matter) probably wouldn’t have the resources to pay for their kids to fly out to Hawaii or whatever for a month to play at a competition like that. Not to mention the amount of equipment involved in learning to play baseball (bats, helmets, etc etc) as opposed to games like basketball or soccer that you can just pick up and play
As a singer and an actress in this industry I really do appreciate this talk. Colorism is one of the reasons why I am on the fence about continuing to work in the industry. It's gotten to the point to where I'm too light or dark to be chosen for major roles on television and I'm too dark to be considered marketablein music unless i take my clothes off. I've literally had people tell Me "too bad youre not white", "I wish you looked more like Mya", just completely disregard me me as an artist based solely off of my skin color. I have many stories that would blow your mind. Or maybe they wouldn't I will know anyways I appreciate your channel. We need more adult perspectives on these things.
Please please please make your own content. If they don’t make space for you, make space for you. I promise there will be people who appreciate your efforts! Stay strong 🙏🏾💛
You are beautiful you can Aser content here on TH-cam asmr informative videos teach experiences
Colorism played a big part of creolité, especially in New Orleans, since reconstruction and it's a hard fight trying to remove some of these beliefs and showing that, historically, being creole in south Louisiana is heritage and not skintone. Anyway, I just found your channel yesterday and already gone through nearly everything you've put out. Really appreciate these videos
Right on ...new orleans7th ward creolite here.
This is the most mind blown I've ever been after a video discussion I've ever heard on TH-cam. I've grown up as a black man pretty much my entire life and I've never once thought about or noticed this discrepancy with light-skinned men and their representation in media.
I'm going to have to re-evaluate pretty much my entire approach to media now. This was such a gaping hole in my vision.
Thank you so much for this video
Race is definitely a construct. I'm South African and we don't regard mixed race individuals as black. Trevor Noah may be regarded as black in America but he is mixed in his home country. So the conversation around colourism is slightly different, and even if you are mixed race you are not necessarily light skin either. Our past is very complicated.
I keep trying to tell Black Americans that the concept of race is different in Africa than it is in the USA. In fact, it is different in the Caribbean. People need to be careful about assuming things when they travel outside of their countries.
I think it's probably because mixed people in the US has been classified as black for much longer than they would have been in Africa. Most blacks in the US have some level of admixture, some more or less than others, whereas black in Africa was much less ambiguous historically.
you hear his pronunciation of amandla lol
Dankie Rabbit vir dai verduiliking..As a Coloured man i dont think Black Americans will ever even try to understand our racial patterns in South Africa
what if they look black? like i didn’t know that trevor noah was even mixed race for the longest. would it be looked as a social faux pas to assume he’s black?
I'm an older cat with lightskin and my experiences (in context of skin only) from child to adult are mostly negative. You hit the nail on the head when you brought up the "constant masculinity check". Even to this day, whenever my skin color is brought up, my mood immediately gets wild serious which confuses mad people because I guess most guys with lightskin don't dislike their skin but it is what it is....I'm still doing therapy and practicing the self love shit but the self hate for my skin is still strong in me despite me being grown and knowing better
Omg, wow. Thank you for sharing.. pls know you are accepted, loved and appreciated as a lightskin man. These comments help me to realize that so much teasing that is done in childhood leaves scars.
My dad was extremely light skinned with green eyes and curly hair. Complexion was a HUGE trigger for him to the point of it being a taboo topic, and him baking himself in the sun every sunmer.. There was NEVER any mention of "good hair" or "pretty hair" in our house bc he was disgusted by these concepts.
Id always thought it was because he was "woke" and saw it as rooted in anti-blackness but as I think more about it, it may have also been some of these issues as well. He was also very sensitive about accusing men of being gay. All of it together makes me wonder if his masculinity was questioned when younger.
His dad and brothers were brown so I think that was part of it- feeling different and a spectacle bc of it. He only liked dark skin women and married my darkskinned mom and had me, a dark brown daughter.
Sigh curse of the light skin biracial look just like my mom but have dads complexion ( not really because my fam is creole and I have aunties my color who are full black) So imagine my confusion at never being accepted by people I consider skinfolks . Then as I grew older I realized rascism works both ways and mixed folks get it on all sides depending on what genetic phenotypes we’re expressed in their physicality . It sucks . But as Bob Marley says , I’m not on white side nor black side just Gods side . It’s the Only thing that keeps me going . None of us are a color , we are either saved sinners or unsaved. When you see it that way you understand people treat you the way they do based on who they are inside , not because of who you are inside . Worst part is realizing most Humans die before they truly ask themselves that question. I used to always ask what it meant to be a man now I ask God what does it mean to be a good person? No labels other than good and bad needed to describe us thus the devils system is led by mass confusion and division
Man I’m 10 minutes in and I really appreciate you explicitly using your platform to talk about men/masculinity. There aren’t many spaces online (or in real life) that address black men/masculinity from an anti-patriarchy/feminist perspective. I’m a first time viewer, but definitely gonna subscribe and check your other stuff out 👌🏾
As a light skinned 17 year old I personally never really cared that the leading men in films were always darker skinned. Even though it would be nice to see more people who looked like me on film, any representation is good representation for me. Also I really enjoyed your video. The subjects you touched on like the lack of light skinned men in Hollywood to the fetishization of black men are things I have always thought about in private but never thought I would hear out loud. Thanks dude!
Good vid.
As a fairer skinned Black man I often experienced a lot of colourism from black and white people. I was "not really black" to both groups. It led to me developing a bit of hostility towards people that took me until my thirties to get out of. I became hyper masculine and brutish because I felt encroached upon. I found the redpill. Ha.
I shaved my head bald, and started training and became imposing. I leaned hard into being different. I felt like if people would always alienate me then I'd make it clear that I'm not them. Why fight so hard to belong to people who look down on me. My classmates wouldn't bully me but they'd sometimes throw shade at me for being fair skinned and soft spoken. I'd fire back and upset them.
Thankfully with time I realized the redpill rhetoric is a distorted picture of reality and stopped consuming it.
It still does manifest itself in me being extremely blunt and forward with people. Most people write it off as me being quirky since I don't have hostile body language, but it's definitely a cope. 😂
My own family would regularly remark that I thought I was better than them and I didn't like black people. The honest truth was I had severe depression and anxiety and wanted to be left alone. I didn't like anyone but being the fairest person in my family I felt like I got some of their resentment projected onto me.
White people found me a bit easier to get along with because I was quite soft spoken. As I aged, though, I realized that as close as I was to them I wasn't one of them. This was made clear by my experiences in the work place.
I guess my story has a bit of a happy ending in that I had to reconcile with a lot of my feelings, but on very bad days I do resent that I'm so different looking.
I'm racially ambiguous so I feel like I get all the downsides of being black but no upside of being white despite my fairer skin.
That said, in being so different, I think my understanding of other outsiders is deeper. I know what it's like to be ostracized for things I don't even get.
When I watch your vids I feel like you're helping me find a healthy way to understand myself and, by extension, other even less fortunate groups like our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. I wanna make it clear I got a long way to go but this is helpful.
Bro I went through exactly what you went through.
That’s why I have no sympathy for black people and their ‘plight’
F this culture what you have is just pure and utter narcissism
I think we need to be more cognizant about the history of colorism as it pertains to black male desirability and the change that occurred in the 80s and 90s. You know, the one where light skinned men went "out of style." If you talk to black people above a certain age, they will tell you all about how light skinned black men were all the rage during Jim Crow and its immediate aftermath. For decades, our community resented endogamous practices among light skinned people and the emergence of the black power movement institutionalized a stigma against those pairings. I think there was a backlash against that state of affairs that we are still living through. We talk a lot about dark skinned black men wanting light skinned black women as a form of colorism, and we rarely if ever discuss light skinned black men's preferences (if they even exist). But historically speaking, colorism also meant light skinned black men and light skinned black women keeping to themselves. After the Civil Rights Movement, it appears that both light skinned black men and women moved away from having such a pronounced preference for one another. But that begs the question of whether light skinned black people preferring each other would even count as self-hatred since their "selves" are not dark skinned? It also begs the question of whether black women's devaluation of light skinned black men represents them becoming less colorist or if they simply transitioned to another set of complexion mythologies that is only superficially "pro-black."
The other thing to note is that colorism puts both light skinned black men and women in a weird bind. As black people, we at this point essentially define colorism as dark skinned black men preferring light skinned women. Light skinned black men's preferences and black women of all complexion's preferences are not scrutinized. As a light skinned millennial black man for instance, I've never been around a black woman my age who had a preference for light skinned black men. Whenever the concept of black women's color preferences is brought up, they either say they desire dark skinned men (for reasons we typically assume to be "pro-black") or they say they have no preference. Perhaps it's because they are aware that stating a preference for light skinned partners would be viewed as regressive and immoral/unethical, but that also means many light skinned black men grow up in a world feeling they are no one's first choice. On the other hand, any pairing of a black man with a woman lighter than he is gets flattened into colorism - regardless of whether he actually has a preference at all. That means that light skinned black women would have to assume that any black man who expresses interest in them is only doing so out of a deep sense of self-hatred, especially if he's darker than her. It puts them into a box in which they can never really trust or experience true love from a black man since any attraction would be necessarily tainted by internalized racism. We MUST eradicate colorism, but doing it in a way that essentially tells light skinned black women to view black men with suspicion means they would have to limit themselves to black men who are as light as they are or they would have to stop dating black men altogether (both of which would further stigmatize light skinned black women in our communities). Is that what we want?
This is not about saying light skinned people have it harder than dark skinned people. There is no value in making that comparison or arguing that point. Instead, what I am highlighting is that being "better off" within a system of oppression does not equate with self-actualization of genuine well-being. When dark skinned black men essentially switched places with light skinned black men in the desirability hierarchy, they did not attain liberation nor did light skinned black men lose other forms of privilege that correlates with our color. The psychological strife we all suffer from simply changed its topography.
This is excellent. You brought up so many questions and ideas I had never considered. Thanks bro
Now this is what critical thinking sounds like
I have actually sat down and had conversations with black women, and I have asked them what their preferences were... 9 out of 10 said that there isn't anything wrong with light skinned men, it's the light skin women that they have issues with... Same thing with black men, there's nothing wrong with the light skin women, it's the light skin men that they have a problem with... I've also seen this pattern where when light skin people try to speak on their experiences with black people, if it doesn't paint a black person in a good light, they get attacked for it by the black majority... It's interesting to say the least...
Thanks for this 💌
I had a preference for dark skinned BM initially. However I received more interest from light skinned BM. At this moment it doesn’t matter since I learnt it doesn’t dictate the quality of your relationship experience.
Dark skin is hated everywhere, I am a dark skinned man and I can't imagine what it's like for dark skinned women
I’m really glad you made a video about this topic! Seriously, thank you.
As a light skinned black guy, I’ve found myself in an awkward crossroads when viewing myself. Growing up in a predominantly black community, i was made fun of and constantly had my blackness questioned at ever corner. I ended up hating my skin complexion for not being black enough. It took till college to start to grow past that, but the perceptions of being “weaker” and “feminine” still remain problems for me. Regardless, those thoughts and struggles are things I’ve decided to just deal with in silence because I understand I still benefit from the way society finds me more appealing and less threatening than my darker brothers, whether I choose to subscribe to that privilege or not.
I will say though, as a black nerd, who loves the mediums of comics and games and the impact they’ve had on my life…There’s no one who looks like me. I have a hard time visually seeing myself in characters or these fanatical settings. I love Static, Miles, and T’Challa, but I could ever cosplay as one of them? I love Wakanda, but could I really see myself being a Wakandan?…let alone accepted in a space like that? I’m still asking myself those questions.
Lightskin black guy that loves comics too, and i was just talking about that with my friends the other day. There really isn't no lightskin black heroes in comics tbh.
“For a dark skinned black man you can feel cursed” YES. Especially when your own openly go out of their way to hate you and put you down.
Colorism is such a huge problem in media and our culture, this video really does a good job showing the Black American perspective! I cant always speak for American media, but in Latin America. Those who are dark skinned or appear Black or more Native American are often casted as villains or side character/servant/a joke. The lighter skinned or "whiter" looking Latinos are casted as beautiful heroes and the romantic interest. Often used in novelas. Spanish cultures always try to grasp at whatever Eurocentric features we can find to make manifest in our commercials/movies/soap operas. Similar to what you described in the Hunger Games. You should definitely travel to the Caribbean and South America to see how racism shifts to colorism and how that internalized self bigotry causes black and brown people to bleach their skins and straighten their hair or color it to pass as more European. I think American media shows us that they grapple with people of color under a lens of racial preference where especially the female actors have to be lighter skinned so they can be seen as attractive or viable to the masses. That's so tragic. I hope we can all evolve on this perspective.
Well said
Univision Telemundo
I don’t like the way people demean light skin men. It’s a major form of colorism. I’m not even light skin…. Or a man, but it irritates me when I see black people making light skin men the butt of the jokes. Darkskin men make it seem like light skin men are fruity, weak, and emasculated. Black women scream that they want a dark skin man, when in reality some darkskin men don’t even want darkskin women!!
And These are the same men and women that would be mad, if you say you don’t prefer darkskins. The hypocrisy has to stop. I’m getting sick of this community Forreal.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Preach!
Yes it’s disgusting. People say it’s just jokes but it’s funny how serious the women are taking it factoring into their preferences
Girl amen!!!!
OMG..THANK You!!!..So Many dark women say they Only want a Dark Man..girl Please..A Dark Man wouldnt Even Look At you!! It is sooooo disgusting the way they talk about Lightskinned Men. And thats why DarkSkin BM are so Narcisccistic...Im so Sick of it
I don't even know where to start, brother. I'm chocolate as you can see, I teased unmercifully for it as a child. My gifts were the only things that made room for me: intelligence and an outstanding singing voice saved my bacon more times than I can count. Choir and singing at different events made me more accepted by my peers, and then puberty hit. But I was always surrounded by lighter friends who got the guys quicker than I did, especially in LA. My friends would always have to cosign my presence wherever we went. It was real brutal to the self esteem. It's taken decades to grow out of, and understand the person of value I really have grown to be. I hope that everyone can find that for themselves, no matter what this so called society thinks of them.
This video deserves so much recognition, you have touched upon the main topics and other areas people usually gloss over.
Hey, I just caught this video. I'm a light-skinned brother and also a music/media scholar. I've been trying to talk to people for years about how the discussion of colorism has to take gender into account. But, you know, people aren't talking about light skinned black men much. You asked how it feels, and I just want to add some early Hollywood data points for you. Light skinned black men rarely get representation...but, in early Hollywood, in all black films, there *was* some representation of light skinned black men--but they were always the villains and main antagonists. You can look at Stormy Weather...or the earlier film Duke Is Tops. The male protagonist, the one who is framed as "really" and "authentically" black is dark skinned. The female love interest is Lena Horne, so very light skinned. There is then another man, a rival, a villain, who is the light skinned black man. This guy is a scumbag who wants the female lead, but he doesn't care about the black community and he is an uppity user. And he is rejected by the female lead when she realizes how awful he is, and she returns where she "belongs" in the arms of the dark skinned black man.
It doesn't feel good when some of the rare representations you get as a light-skinned black man is as a vaguely effeminate scumbag race traitor who is never an appropriate romantic prospect...or even welcome in the black community. The ejection of that character from the community is framed as part of the happy ending.
Recently, a peer of mine put out a tweet saying we need more diversity in the streaming world, but that means dark skinned black people only, not light skinned black people, because the presence of light skinned black people in media harms dark skinned black people--which is pretty hurtful to be told that my public existence harms my community. But...I rarely see light skinned black men represented at all. I'm pretty secure in my masculinity so I don't care about that...but I do care about the ways in which my light skinned-ness is used to invalidate my blackness entirely, or frame me as suspect within the black community. It really bothers me that my lightness is used as a way to erase me from the community...while the police still see me as plenty black enough to harass. It is just tough. And I know we all have it tough. I'm not saying my life is harder than anyone else. But it is hard to be told you don't belong.
King Kong was a low key jab at Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight boxing champion. He openly and flagrantly dated only white women. So yea. Cooper was full of 💩 when he said it wasn’t racist.
Great content. New sub.
If he was being racist. He had no need to be afraid. It was the 1930s
@@thedelordhimselfgokublack Not necessarily. Not all racists act the same way today and I'm sure that was true back then in post-slavery America. Also, we don't know the guy personally - there could definitely be a reason behind closed doors as to why he didn't want to openly proclaim that his film was caricaturing a famous (albeit probably still harassed and hated) black athlete. Plus, if the black boxer really did date white women openly, whilst there may have been some tension between black and white men in Hollywood, that doesn't mean it was acceptable/his taste to openly refer to it.
What's clear is that the film was racist. It was a racist caricature of a black man. We may not know why he chose not to claim that but that doesn't make the film not racist, y'know?
@@bleusles Also as early as 1915 with Birth of a Nation there was a recognizable backlash to the movie. I'm not sure how significant it was, but Griffith was aware of it, so it was relevant enough to become at least a small historical chapter. I could easily see there being a desire to pretend that King Kong wasn't a racist jab since even back then Hollywood was a tumultuous gossip infested place which had studios on their toes greatly motivated to control narratives so they could decide what controversy they wanted and didn't want.
•doing the work to have hard conversations
•leave no topic without examples and clear points
•leave the length long despite YTs algorithmic encouragement for short uploads
• responds to comments and asks fir clarification
You are on another level, FD
The concept of "white people" is a few hundred years older than what you said in the video (~17th century or so) but you're absolutely right that it's a social construct and the definition of who is white (and which kinds of white people are "better") shifts a *lot* depending on the time and place you look at.
Most definitely,
I assume you're referring to the treatment of the Irish. And yes that's definitely true.. You have any good videos on it? I wouldn't mind learning more about this.
@@FDSignifire No videos, but there's a book called "The History of White People" by Neil Irvin Painter that's pretty good and not too long.
@@FDSignifire It's not just the treatment of Irish, but also the treatment of Eastern Europeans in general, I spend a lot of time in the UK because my mom's family is part of the Windrush generation, and over the last 3 decades I have been going to the UK, the Eastern Europeans are treated pretty badly, I have seen "friends" call them ethnic slurs, I have seen signs saying no Polish and no Slavs. The Romani especially feel the brunt of the abuse.
Read “Superior” by Angela Saini
@@camtra18 True, generally Eastern Europeans also don't see themselves as whites and try to act white in order to be accepted. I remember the first time when my eastern european classmates would show me videos/memes of "look at these whites" and it would just be funny videos but it was them clearly distinguishing between what white people do and what they do.
This is an amazing take on colourism and the hurt antics in the media that seldom support black people. I have never looked at the pain of dark skin black men as intensely or thoroughly. Thank you for the insight.
My experience of being a light skinned Black man from mixed parentage, my dad is black my mom is white, in regards to the Black community and culture is complex in that I have never felt welcomed so I have always felt like an outsider looking in. Through the years of stopping by to window shop Blackness I have felt the full range of emotions from anger to admiration towards the Black community, and the times at which I have gone into or embraced my Blackness with others I have been met both with a celebration of joyous reunion and rejection. In the end I would say that my overall connection to my Blackness is tenuous with me always on guard from celebrating or expressing myself as a Black man out of the expectations of having my Blackness taken away from me or marginalized not only by outsiders but form those within the community. Even when I watch your videos or any videos from Black content creators I am always on guard for questions of my being here, that at any given time someone can say hey what’s he doing here.
i remember watching yara zayd’s video, and at that exact section about thresh, i remember wanting to hear your thoughts what it means for Black men in the media to be “allowed” to have dark skin. what she said made a lot of sense, but it was kind of confusing too, because it didn’t mesh for me with the fact that off-screen, dark-skinned men are also subjected to colorism, as you mention here. so thank you for making this-it makes such a perfect complement to yara’s video.
So glad that Khadija recommended this!!! I always wanted to see this topic addressed!!
Props on the Powerline shirt lol. Goofy Movie was one of my favorites growing up.
I really love your stuff man. Keep up the awesome work. You mentioned around the 27 minute mark about the self hatred black men experience and how that pain is reflected in rap lyrics. Id love to see a video going into depth about that.
exited for this one! never really thought about colorism for black men or how differently it affects them, so this will definitely will be insightful!!
Yeah that was the goal. I'm hoping to provide a perspective that isnt out there enough.
Ya don’t know how much I love this channel man 😭
Does my heart good to hear that fam. Thank you for your time here
I’ve watched a bunch of your videos in the past few days found them all deeply affecting. This ones a little different though. As a mixed race kid who grew up in one of America’s whitest places, with a dark black dad, I’ve always felt like there was some pressure on me to eventually find a woman with darker skin than I do to have kids with. Even though I’m seriously dating a white girl right now who I really love, there’s been a thought in the back of my mind since I discovered my sexuality that’s been telling me my future wife needs to be darker than me to balance it out. Like light skin on me is a bad thing. This video was just really… idk. I never quite know what to say at the end of your videos. I just want to say thank you and tell you that everything you’re talking about is really helping me come to terms with the way I look and who I am.
The part about the fetishism of black men and them not being seen as human was really deep. And its not that black women don't want to talk about it; it seems when black women bring it up, we are just hating and black men don't seem to care.
🤦♂️🤦♂️That's the problem. Girls or women seem to complain too much about everything. Just do what we do. If you cant do anything about it. Dont think about it.
Black men don’t care that the world views him as King Kong. So neither should black women.
@REED ONLY You do know they can just ignore you until you get tired and if you are an actual problem. They will get rid of you. So it is cowardly. It's just being sensible. It's not like people are dying because of it.
@@thedelordhimselfgokublack “It’s not like people are dying because of it” Ummm, what? What were the protests last year all about then? Isn’t police brutality an indirect consequence of how black men are dehumanized in the media? If that’s how they perceive you, they’ll have less empathy when they interact with you.
@REED ONLY how the hell is this true?
This was so important. I had a light skinned male friend tell me about his struggle with being a light skin man. Because I’m a dark skin woman I didn’t think it compared with my experience. Now I realize why dark skin men are obsessed with dating outside their race. And shun dark skin woman. They too have serious issues loving their skin.
Please stop characterising us as obsessed with dating outside of our race. We aren’t, and it’s disrespectful to even insinuate: Most of us arent the athletes, rappers or entertainers you refer to. We are normal men.
I'm light skinned and was dating a dark skin girl and she told me she really wanted to have a son with me but didn't want him to be light skin cuz he would get bullied and would be soft. I never seriously dated another dark skin girl again after that. My current gf is Mexican and white.
"She R Kellied me now that I think about it"
was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard DaBaby say.
no sympathy for him
@@edithputhy4948 I don’t like him either but that shit is sad and wrong as hell so yes sympathy but that doesn’t excuse his actions
THIS VIDEO IS AMAZING‼️More people need to watch this video, especially Black people of all shades. I learned so much while also noticing somethings too (one of them being the fetishization of darker skin Black men in the media and real life). I do believe that we need more representation of lighter skin Black men and darker skin Black women… Of course in a good light and less negative approaches.
I also do believe that in other ethnic groups like Latin America (even America too) need more darker skin representation of dark skin men AND women, so it’s a slippery slope. For example, I am Honduran American, but if I was to audition to portray a Latino (or Afro-Latino) in America and Latin America, I have a higher chance to be rejected for the role than a fair skin (light skin) Afro-Latino or White (or Indigenous) Latino. Yep, this topic has A LOT of layers to untangle.
P.S. - Damn, you do not like Drake I can tell. I am a Drake fan, but I understand your thoughts (even though you did not mention them that much) on him😅
I held back on Drake lol cause I didn't want to be distracting. I can't be hating on Drake while trying to talk about how light skinned men get a bad deal.
And yeah this joint could have been 2 hours long if I had went allll the way round the world with it.
@@FDSignifire drop the next hour cuh
@@FDSignifire it’s okay to not like Drake’s music lol. I understand your point though.
Do y’all remember when Drake sounded like Lil Wayne early on in his career?
This man's content is fuckin' golden. I am loving this way more than I ever would have expected!
While I'm Native and not Black I always felt I had to "white code" myself since I live in a super white area. So when you talked about Obama going by Barry it made me realize just how much of my life has been shaped by just trying to fit in to survive. I even stopped going outside as much cuz I didn't wanna get too tan.
Colorism from A lighter skinned black man:
You mentioned at the end of your video that you would like to hear from light skinned men on masculinity and colorism.
I would like to first say im not unambiguously light skinned, nor do I identify as light skinned. However, I have benefited from colorism before. I would say by Black American standards, I would be light brown skinned more specifically.
Moving on, due to my skin color, my facial features are often subject to featurism. When in black spaces my long hair, bigger eyes, and small nose gets me the "what are you (mixed with) questions. This is often not overt, but stems from "your hair is so flowy...oh your skin is perfect not too light or dark...you have the cutest nose (when in was little). So my blackness is questioned (rather than challenged like my light skinned peers). Thus my appearance is held to the Standard black male image: dark skin/ brown skin, clear black features, short afro textured hair, an alpha male presence, deep voice, tall, and a muscular physique.
I litterally only check off 1.5 of these things: having brown skin (barely) & being sorta tall.
This never really bothered me growing up because I felt different in a good way. Most of my black male peers were Dark skinned unambiguous dudes that grew up to check more of these boxes.
For me, as a gay man. I just assumed that this representation was for straight men because this ideal masculine black man went after women. So as a lighter skinned man you make 1 or 3 choices: 1. You adhere to the ideal as much as you can, 2. You grow to be perhaps insecure that you "don't make the cut", OR 3. You reject these ideals & be yourself.
I chose 3. I belive it was easier because I was able to separate myself from this ideal black male (im gay and I physically look more ambiguous).
However, I was never one of the light skinned guys just as much as I wasnt a dark skinned guy. Therefore I did not receive the brunt of any light skinned jokes or stereotypes. Conversely, I never was called racist or colorist terms like my dark skinned male peers. This "in between" gave me A LOT of room to breath.
Some would call my skin "safe brown", I would say in my experience that term is 1000% accurate.
Facts Facts Facts
I’m a brown skin guy with small features, I come from a mixed background but I’m obviously black. I always felt like I was dark skin, but dark skins would point out I was lighter than them or ask where are you from. I have a thin prominent nose bridge, kinda bigger eyes but almond shaped lids, and curly hair (I know have locs).
I’m often told I seem safe, white folks tend to like me, black people often question my masculinity and my blackness…I also speak quite proper, soft spoke. I grew up kinda in suburbs/hood adjacent. I can say that these attributes have helped me get jobs as well as be able to meander through different social circles. But I always struggle around a group black folks.
One positive is I’m quite tall so I’m often viewed equally as a threat (black guys get jealous, white and Spanish guys don’t like me around their gfs)
@@OhYessirrr glad you liked the post! ☺☺☺
@@tajsimms8976 Yes, I can def relate to your circumstances. Did you notice a change in how you were treated/ percieved by black people (especially men) once you got locs?
I had loose hair until mid 2017 when I decided to get dreadlocks installed. Once my hair fully locked 6 months - 1 year later, i noticed that I became "more Black" appearing. Versus when I wore my natural hair, I got a lot of questions about my ethnicity.
As a gay mixed person, i heavily relate to this too. It felt better to reject the expectation of what was meant to be black and at the same time, not being ashamed of being black either. Being interested in things that is not considered things a black person should be into usually leads to being othered by other black people but seemed ‘interesting’ or ‘different’ to people of other races since i dont adhere to their stereotypical perception of what a black person should be like.
You don't have to go that far. There are literally comedy videos on TH-cam where they compare black men and make fun of light skinned black men for being gay or stereotypically feminine (as opposed to dark skinned black men who are straight and/or normal). Which is both colorist, racist and homophobic. It's weird.
Yes. It is. But I think Tyler Perry is brainwashing BET viewers into thinking that light skinned men are weak or feminine.
Until its time to get a job. Lets talk about that. Light skinned men no matter the conversion is still valued more than the darker skinned man.
Some of those light-skinned guys are gay because they were pursued and abused by men when they were very young. Hence they were spiritually compromised and resorted to a homosexual lifestyle. This very sensitive topic needs to be addressed. By far, I am not implying that all light-skinned brothers are gay.
@@sandraatkins2539 Abuse does not cause homosexuality.
@@sandraatkins2539 being sexually abused by a man doesn’t make a man gay.
I love how you bring together supporting evidence from all over the pop culture landscape and take time to acknowledge your own potential biases. This video really made me think, thanks!
I'm glad I found this channel. It's good seeing black men actually talk about these topics for once. Black women have been at the forefront for the longest and it's really refreshing to see a black man join in on the conversation.
I will say this tho: I think there's a conversation that needs to be had about why we collectively feel the need to label biracial people as "black." I feel like this is just another remnant of the 1 drop rule. Drake, Dwayne Johnson, and Vin Diesel are all biracial men. And that's okay. I don't feel like it needs to be this controversial thing to be biracial, especially considering that the overwhelming majority of their roles, although not explicitly stated, are perceived as white characters OR simply non-black.
Anyway, I'm subscribing to this channel. I'm super interested to see all the future topics you'll tackle.
I randomly found this channel as well and I’m thankful! I also agree that i’m sick of bi racial people being called black. How come they’re never called white, Asian etc. they are bi racial and that is ok.
Finally! I always felt this way! Black ppl tend to go with the 1 drop rule, and never think that it actually initiated with white supremacy! We have to start using our brains, no matter how much thinking may "hurt"...
@@talkswithjas7959 I believe it's because I'm most cases( not all) white people don't like to accept others who aren't pure white as white. So biracial people tend to lean more towards their ethnic side for acceptance. If you're biracial you will still be called the n word by white people regardless if you're more white than black. But In an equitable society I don't think biracial people should have to identify with one side over the other and should be seen as both.
@@tymenlove6359 this.
White people are DEFFINTELY in the business if gate keeping whiteness no matter if the person is half latino, asian, or black. And I think we all know why.
That said, asians tend to do a similar thing. Naomi Osaka is not accepted as Japanese in Japan. And you can argue Japanese are super xenophobic but I have heard similar stories from black people mixed with other Asian ethnicities. I think it depends on the relationship of the parents though.
43:16 I keep the same energy for my son as I do my daughter. Let me find out an adult is preying on either one of them... I'm very protective of my kids and want them to remain "kids" as long as possible.
i'm so glad i stumbled upon your videos, fr. there are NOT enough black men having discourse like yours in general on platforms like youtube or anywhere else. i didn't even kno how much i was MISSING this voice in my understanding of black men's lives and experiences, so i appreciate your content. keep it up! this video was a great watch from start to finish
You should check out “appealing because he is appalling,” by Dr. Tamari Kitossa. He’s a sociologist who writes about black masculinity and “erotic racism”.
Oooooh this sounds right up my alley
I just asked my library to buy this book! Thank you for the recommendation!
I remember the Rue incident smh.
Same with Ariel. My god, disgusting.
You know what's crazy. Rue is literally described as being dark in the book. Even Katniss Everdeen is supposed to be olive toned, but no one had a problem with her being white. Like??
I was too young to be on the internet at the time but i heard about it later and was so confused because i clearly remembered her being described as black in the books. I can only think it was a bunch of white supremacists who never read the books who got mad about it.
@@eventplanner461 Olive tone is white.
To be honest, I was pissed Rue was played by a biracial, the Hunger Games books were 👌, and it was clear as day that Rue was black as was District 12 (?) largely black. But I'm from the UK, and we know the difference between black and biracial and don't have any equivalent of 'one-drop'ing people.
Im a black trans man and Ive just started to pass as a man in a very white dominated city and Ive been trying to figure out what all this shit Ive started to get means and your videos are soooo helpful!
I can say as a young dark skinned black man, main stream media has always made seem more inferior. For instance growing up social media and other platforms have always pushed lightskiness as more attractive and more “ beautiful “ it’s only until now in today time have I seen taller darker toned men as myself reflected in society as normal or more popular. I think it’s weird
This video hit different bruh, I never realised how much my own self hatred was rooted in colourism. Great video!
I recently watched this video. I see that I'm a year out from when it released. This is one of the best descriptions of colorism I have heard in a long time. Great job! Speaking as a dark skinned male actor and sociologist, I can relate to everything you said. I have been, "the black guy," in a few things. Lessons learned.
I don't know where to even start. I discovered your channel through Khadija and god was it a fresh take on topics I consider important. This video took me 3 days to get through because I kept having to stop, do life, and then get back to it, but I watched it, and even took notes on other videos I want to watch (the Rue one in particular and Khadija's one on why women in the media all look the same). But this video really did something for me, as in it made me really consider how I fetisize people and whether or not that includes taking away their humanity (which I believe it does). Thank you for that. I actually stopped watching porn because of the overt racism in it and how I felt porn (all porn really) was making me fetisize people, in particular the kind of people I was watching in porn. I don't believe porn is wrong, but I do believe it comes from and creates this sort of degradation of people (my opinion only), as in in the people we watch in porn who are actually real people and in most cases are not wanting to be there but are being forced to be there due to the money or other circumstances. I'm going off on a tangent. Thank you for this video. I subscribed to your channel and will continue to look forward to anything you put out. Thank you.
This was a really ambitious video and I enjoyed it. As far as why darker skinned Black men get more screen time than the light brights, I think it's both fetishization and that dark skinned Black men are the "default" choice for Black characters in general. I think there is a little bit of misogyny mixed with colorism involved with the casting of Black actors and actresses overall.
The conversation around Black masculinity and particularly the fetishization of Black men needs much more attention and is highly nuanced. I salute you for taking a crack at it cuz no one else has. I can agree that part of the issue is that Black men don't have enough deep conversations about how they feel about these things. I've always been confused at how I'll feel more offended by the language used and images depicted of Black men in porn than Black men do (I'm a Black woman and that shit has always made me cringe). Also, I think that there is trauma that Black men have not processed that are leftovers of the flat out inhumanity and savagery of chattel slavery, ie. "Buck breaking," that inform a lot of what we think Black men should be or shouldn't. I think there is a lot of fear of being dominated if you show weakness that informs Black masculinity. Hyper-masculinity may be encouraged because they don't want to feel as though they are "less of a man." Oddly enough, I really see this exemplified in the Black lesbian community where there's a strong push for women to perform heteronormativity in their relationships. Some women that want to be percieved as more masculine perform a similar kind of hyper masculinity you see with straight guys (Young M.A. is a good example of this). It's always over the top. I also think that the demonization of feminine gay Black men in our community plays into our beliefs about Black masculinity as well.
I just said a lot, but I do want to encourage you to keep the conversation going.
I never thought of this until I became a father. My complexion is similar to yours while my still infant son is light skinned. His mother's side comes from a long line of mixed Black people and a still living great great grandmother who is white. I sometimes think about how his complexion would play into his experiences as a man growing up.
Finally somebody talking about light-skin men representation. Masculinity is depicted in a totally different way for light-skin men.
Thank you so much for making this video! I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot and often try to discuss it with my friends who are Black men of various shades and backgrounds, but I often worry about being annoying or overstepping with some of my questions. Even though you aren’t a light skinned Black man I appreciate the care and nuance you brought to the topic. Most of the Black TH-camrs I follow who create video essays are younger women and I am so happy I found a Black man thoughtfully presenting topics like these.
JUST had an extremely annoying conversation where a man was adamant that colorism was just not a thing for men, and I showed them this video. THANK YOU
As a light skin guy its confusing. One the one hand we know dark skin men are considered more attractive. More masculine. No man likes to be considered LESS masculine or soft. It rattles some men to the point they overcompensate with exaggerated machismo. Dont call me. Soft. Thats an insult. However this percieved sexy masculinity in darker men stems from dangerous and worrying historic tropes. Theyre seen as more beastial, violent, savage. And nobody wants to be those things even more. Especially with the consequences that brings. From the lynchings to the longer sentances and police shootings. I watch some men revel in the attention from white mens fetishizations of the mandingo with a large tool.
I used to feel away about that before i realised she is literaly seeing him like an animal to use and hes pleased with it. Now its an annoying trope for that reason.
As far as represenation in movies goes I dont worry. I dont think the darker men are playing negative roles or playing to stereotypes at all. If they happen to be seen as more desirable thats ok. I dont think such things concern men the same way as women. Ive yet to hear women speak in terms like the young rappers in your video did so it doesnt carry over to real life. All the women in the 90s loving Morris Chestnut, Blair Underwood or whorever never stopped me doing well lol
Right! That fetishization is bad when they actually start thinking about their actual life goals with said person.
Fetishistic aims don't translate well into real life ambitions & pursuits.
I personally think people think light skin men are more prettier lol, and more attractive. Being a light skin man has its stereotypical benefits as well. Light skin men are seen as less threatening, and more educated.
It's the comment section for meee. Thank you for such an insightful video! I learned so much and am really looking forward to exploring these biases in my personal life. Subscribed!
Just discovered this guy's channel. Amazing orator and presenter of ideas. Going to blow up for sure.
Definitely a new subby!! My son who is light skin is already receiving comments on his skin. It's so strange 😕
I found your channel through Khadijah Mbowe's shout out and i am so glad i i did!! Man i have binged almost all of your videos and your channel is refreshing and i love and respect your insight. Dope channel
As a light skin man I haven’t thought about it but after watching this I thought to myself “yeah I can’t think of too many A-list light skinned male actors either”. I’ll admit the “light skin = soft” jokes have always annoyed me and growing up I had to fight to prove I was tough to peers and even romantic partners growing up but I was always aware that being lighter in complex did benefit me in ways where my darker peers and (biological) brothers had it tougher. I mostly buried my feelings on it because I knew what I was facing wasn’t as detrimental but I found myself hating being lighter because I was taught that I was further from manhood and masculinity because of it. Women told me they wouldn’t feel as safe with me or even thought I couldn’t satisfy them because I wasn’t darker. It was something I felt but also felt wasn’t significant enough to talk about because my darker brothers and sisters had it harder. It’s a mind trip
Terrific video! I am a first-time viewer. This channel was recommended to me by the TH-cam algorithm. This was a fine use of my time. Good looking out YTA.
i took a break from social media for a while and when i return you've made not one, but SEVERAL videos and now have 1k subscribers? awesome and congrats!!! i know what im gonna be binge watching later.
Low key your Fandom made me go a little harder and introduced me to Kadija so you got a special shout out coming when I make it into the partner program