A good theory about her is that she might older but she’s just a kid because that’s how Tom sees her as his little sister. Like how she knows a lot about relationships, she references two ex boyfriends and the age gap between her and Tom.
The writer had trouble writing for Female characters, most Male writers can't. Also he was writing the script from his own personal experience which is why it's all in Tom's point of view.
We already know Summer's POV. She told Tom on DAY ONE that she doesn't believe in love, she doesn't want a relationship, she just wants to screw around. She TOLD HIM THAT. Men always whine and cry that women aren't direct, they "hint" and never say the truth. But she TOLD HIM DIRECTLY AND HONESTLY that she didn't want to be in a relationship and he just went along and heard "We're boyfriend and girlfriend!"
@@koolaidman6251 but she acted like a couple. if she just wanted to hook up it should not have been a everyday thing. maybe once every few weeks thing. Even at the end she attempts to hold his hand despite being married as she hangs at a park alone. Shes someone who will never be happy
Relationships are only bound to work when both partners are willing to do everything to be together and make it through, he was too caught up in the honeymoon phase he didn't realize she wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment, sometimes when you fall in love, you don't notice how unhappy your significant other is because you want to believe that you make them happy the way they do for you
@@h.9089 she was ready but not for him, like sometimes a man can stay in a relationship with a woman for 10 years and never think of taking that commitment to the next level but then he meets someone and within 5 months he already proposed, moral of the story: no matter how much you love someone, they won't stay with you unless they really want to
@@rorosung1026 Even if she didn't want to commit with him, she would've had the maturity to avoid getting too close as having sex and holding hands. Thats passing the borderline of getting too close with someone you don't want to commit to. If a man were to do that he would be immature to sleep with someone he knows he does not want to commit to, along with being aware that this person obviously had feelings for you.
Masticatious no, it’s because more people sympathise with his situation than hers. Most people are not attractive, hence their affection only go one way.
@Masticatious Yep. Summer tells Tom on DAY 1 that she doesn't believe in love, doesn't want a boyfriend, doesn't do all that. So then he convinces himself that she's his girlfriend! And men call women illogical and emotional LOL this is the epitome of irrational, emotional, hysterical behavior on Tom's part.
The best thing to do after heartbreak is to heal emotionally. Don't go out & date if you are still hurt. Love yourself first until you are back to yourself emotionally.
If I heard that shit I would look back at her with menacing eyes and walk the f out of that shithole. I would take that L with prejudice. Yeah, best friends have sex all the time don't they?
Tom says the same things that summer says when they're in the car and Tom asks what their relationship is. I don't know if its intentional I just noticed it after watching this movie like 12 times If u wanna know in the car tom asks "what are we doing" and summer answers "I don't know, I don't care, I'm happy aren't you happy?" And tom says it again in this scene except a lot sadder lol
Yes but when tom answered yes it wasn’t true he actually wasn’t happy, thats how powerful love can be it can leave you blind to your own emotions that it makes it difficult for you to identify how you really feel, relationships can make us happy but you should never depend your happiness on your partner. He was unhappy with summer but he loved her so much he allowed himself to stick around and stay unhappy. If that were me and i felt like summer was making me feel unhappy because she didnt want a relationship with me id leave and id move on because my happiness matters so much to me than to be stuck wether the woman i love wants to be with me or not
@jordoruiz0001 it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. You got to experience love. Love. Very few people are fortunate to find love even fewer to keep it.
@@jenpringle6402 while I believe that it's better to have loved even if nothing else happened or if something started and it just didn't work than never have felt anything, I can tell by experience that more often than not it's better to avoid getting into relationships. It's not just that heartbreaks happen, it's more that abusive relationships happen and destroy lives.
after reading about attachment theory I think tom was more a anxious type and summer an avoidant so it's hard to get along when they love in different ways. My point is it's nobody's fault it didn't work, it's just their needs were different.
a book i read on this topic even cites this movie as an anxious-avoidant relationship, but i disagree. if she was avoidant, how would she have comitted so fast to the husband? maybe she just had never been in love before.
Summer is a fearful avoidant. This attachment style makes people run hot and cold, not because they're manipulators who like to lead people and then ditch them, but internally they're fighting both the need for intimacy and the fear of getting to close. They can only ever commit to someone when their need for intimacy is greater than their fear if engulfment. But even then they could double guess their choices. It all happens subconsciously or unconsciously, the person is unaware of why they're this way. Unless and until they're willing to work on their attachment issues, trauma and values, these people will just jump from relationship to relationship hurting others and worst of all, hurting themselves the most
I feel like you guys make up words and bullshit theories in order to explain the simplest, most selfish outcome of all people. She didn’t want that toy; she wanted another.
Or both are dumb enough not to know this is not going yo work because one is too needy and the other one is like a cat. Anyways, there is no real victim here
In my early 20s, i empathized with Tom. But now, being 26, I would hate to date a man like Tom. He put way too much pressure on Summer to be this perfect partner he idealized her to be when all she did was made it clear she didn’t want a relationship ...where’s the logic? lol
kiyosk maybe she did want a serious relationship, just not with you. sorry that happened man. people need to be more open and honest to avoid heartbreak later on
kiyosk maybe go on a few more dates with a person before you decide to be in a relationship. Clicking after just one date is WAY too fast. You may find that after a month or two of getting to know each other that you’re not compatible.
I’m in my 20s now and when I first watched it I was a teenager and honestly if I was Summer... I’d make the same choice. He definitely pressured her into a relationship.
Some people say Summer is a bitch for leading Tom on, and some people say Tom is just idealizing Summer as something more than who she is. In my opinion, both happen throughout the film. It is natural human error to go believe someone who makes you feel special and gets very intimate with you despite them claiming they have no true feelings for you. People that are in this spot more often than not become attached and believe that there are true feelings underneath because of the love they hold for a particular person. And you cannot blame a person who gets strung along like that, it really is a painful experience that is not entirely their fault. On the other hand, you cannot blame someone who gives someone a shot at love despite not being sure of the idea at the beginning of its conception. I do side more with Tom since I’ve been in his boat a few times and have never been in Summer’a position, that being said I can see the flaws in both perspectives.
"And you cannot blame a person who gets strung along like that, " 1.) in Tom's case, yes you can because summer told him upfront that she was not interested in anything serious. The movie literally introduces a character (Alison) to ask Tom " and she said she didnt want anything serious?" 2.) Summer did not string Tom along. She told him what the deal is up front and Tom chose to stay in that. Just because a woman hangs out with you, kisses you, holds your hand, and has sex with you AFTER she told you she doesnt want anything serious, and just wants to be friends, does NOT mean she is stringing you along.Tom chose to stay in there knowingly she didnt want anythig seirous, and he tried to impress upon her his idea of a relationship and "the one" even when she told him she was not interested in him like that. This is a grown adult who clearly chose to not listen and just focused on his own ideas arnd himself.
I agree I side with Tom more because I also think Sunmer only dated him because she knew how attracted he is to her. That was her demeanor the whole movie. Sadly I've been in her shoes and I hated myself for that even tho it was not for a long period of time only two months and I liked the guy way more than Summer liked Tom but still the damage is the same. And I will never do that again. So yeah there is no excuse for Summer even though they tried to make it like there is in the end truth is Tom was shortchanged.
@@steverogers7601 You're wrong...because Summer knew he liked her for real..and wanted more..as a woman I'll know that for sure even if the guy says it's alright. So knowing that and still being intimate with him without any plans for a serious relationship is indeed stringing him along. The problem is guys will just pretend they are okay with it because they are afraid to be honest and lose the girl. Same cases with women. So maybe we should just be honest to ourselves what we really want and call out this bs string along issue when we see it. And then we'll find people who's willing to commit to us as we are to them.
@@steverogers7601 "Just because a woman hangs out with you, kisses you, holds your hand, and has sex with you AFTER she told you she doesnt want anything serious, and just wants to be friends, does NOT mean she is stringing you along." doing all these things, kissing, holding hands, and having sex, are lines that should never be crossed when you proclaim to only wanna be friends. most people don't do these things with people they're just friends with. this is booty call/friends with benefits territory, and anyone who does this, should know, when you give your intimacy to someone in this manner, you risk becoming emotionally attached to them. its very easy for emotional needs of affection and engaging in sexual intimacy to be confused with one another, and thus a person will catch feelings, and sometimes a person don't mean to get emotionally attached, but it happens because humans can't help being human. Plus theres always a chance that people change their minds and feelings through engaging in these actions, and guess what? it did change summer. she did end up wanting a serious relationship, just not with tom. Sure, tom definitely should have never gone any further with her after what she said, but he probably thought he could handle the whole no strings attached ordeal, but clearly he ended up being proven wrong. she didn't string him along, but she should of thought of the possibility of what would happen if she entertained him with kissing, sex etc. in other words, she didn't set any boundaries and shouldn't entertain any man like that unless she knows for sure that hes a straight up chad or tyrone, which im sure she quickly figured out tom wasn't that dude lol just saying
I watched the movie for the first time around the time it was released in 2009. Back then, I was in my early 20s, and I really empathized with Tom. I’m a girl, and while I was probably less extreme in getting obsessed over guys I fancied, I could relate to his feelings on some level. Now, being over 35 and having been through multiple long-term relationships, I can say that: 1. Tom is needy and not very mature. He ignores the evidence that’s right in front of him. 2. Summer is not someone I would ever date, even in the short term, but she does have her integrity. I wish I had been more like Summer in my twenties. Overall, the movie is a piece of art from a great era. I was somewhat of a hipster myself (I totally loved The Smiths :)), so aesthetically, the movie brings up a lot of warm nostalgia for me.
I can’t just understand, people, how can you just ignore obvious facts of manipulations of summer? Yes, Tom is naive idiot in love, BUT, it doesn’t mean that you can just use him as summer did, each time he raised the questions about relationships between them, she tried to switch the theme, or played on emotions of Tom that way so he would go back to the previous step as it was good for her. After bar, why in the damn did she come to him? Why did she kept their “relationships” so long if she saw that he wanted more and suffered from it? Why a couple of words is more valuable than the all actions she did by attaching him to her and keeping him on comfy distance. Even on breakup she didn’t think about his feelings: “let’s be friends”. Only an idiot would think that this state of friend won’t hurt his moral state, it’s just another her egoistic will. The fact that she called him just before wedding not telling even about it, showed that she didn’t change, because she knew that he wouldn’t probably come if she told him before meeting. She didn’t apologised for hurting his feelings, even though that person deeply and honestly wished her the best after all that he went throw. You can’t just use silly boy who fell in you, she could understand the situation in 1-2 months really quickly and to break up faster so he would not suffer more, instead she kept him just in the way that was convenient for her, not thinking about consequences. If someone saying one thing but in the same time doing the opposite and pulling the emotional strings to make you do what this person wants, it called manipulation. She should have stopped in the begging.
I only got around to watching this movie recently, but I'll bring up a point that nobody else seems to have made. Namely, that Summer seems to lose respect for Tom as their relationship develops (or fails to). Others have brought up how Tom fell in love with the idea of Summer and apparently never made any effort to get to know her better, and everything is told through his perspective. Maybe so. But when so much is left out (we don't see what the extent of their interactions in the park, in bed, etc. are based on) then it's hard to say anything with certainty (those points should be made very clearly in the film, not left to the audience's guessing). And after all, this is a movie, so it's somebody's idea to sell a product and an image to a wide audience and make money. What stuck out to me most, however, is how little confidence Tom has in himself. He has a background in architecture and yet he's designing greeting cards for a living. A dead-end job that brings him no contentness in life. His friends are not the modestly ambitious or aspiring types. Tom seems to lose himself in their relationship. His interests become hers without there being the reciprocity on her end (he doesn't seem like a very interesting guy). Tom is even publicly self-deprecating about his career prospects at her birthday party (a very bad move) and Summer brings this up a number of times, too. Realistically, despite all her cynicism, Summer wanted to connect with a partner, and in Tom she found someone who was shallow, had low self-esteem, and not attentive to her wants and needs. And that is why I think she then is able to make the commitment to marry toward the end - she's sure about her partner and knows he's not the unreliable, wishy-washy type. That's I think the most generous and realistic evaluation of their relationship we can make.
Yes dude !!!!!!!!! This one right here I’ve been looking for!!!! Also as time progresses she learns he is not emotionally stable and doesn’t feel safe with him sharing how she actually feels and processes everything She didn’t feel emotionally secure with him because he wasn’t with himself
Yes dude !!!!!!!!! This one right here I’ve been looking for!!!! Also as time progresses she learns he is not emotionally stable and doesn’t feel safe with him sharing how she actually feels and processes everything She didn’t feel emotionally secure with him because he wasn’t with himself
@@naomidenisepinedaspirit you've played summer in your life many times probably. The way you're excited to see someone who doesn't put summer in the wrong shows.
@@anandja8544 that’s not true I agree with summer being in the wrong as well And you’re definitely right about that I’ve been summer before in one particular relationship and it was just like he stated above.
Such a great movie. Recall at beginning of movie "how easily she could cut off her hair and feel nothing" and at karaoke bar when Tom discloses his idea of love and Summer says "you really don't believe that?" "Love, what does that even mean?"
i know the new cool opinion to have is that tom is completely in the wrong and summer did nothing, but you have to admit, immediately eating pancakes like nothing happened after breaking up with someone is very mean
There is no cool opinion. I think people who take ‘sides’ with this movie have completely missed the point. It’s more nuanced than that, like you’ve mentioned. Both are flawed, because they are human. They weren’t right for each other.
Also... they were never boyfriend and girlfriend... Tom refused to be upfront with what he wanted... he only hinted at it and otherwise agreed to be in a casual FWB situationship. From her perspective, she was ending their “friends with benefits” status... what else is there to do? She thought they could just be friends bc he wasn’t as honest about the depth of his feelings for her and went out of his way to mask it... hence carrying on with her dinner. Could she have been more observant? Yeah probably... but it’s not her fault she can’t read his mind. 🤷🏻♀️ (Also... I’ll add that I used to have much more of a “Tom” mentality in my approach to dating... so I’m not hating on him. I’m just pointing out his naivety makes him an unreliable narrator in the story until he takes a bit more responsibility for his hand in his own misery and stop waiting to be “saved by love”)
Yet, in reality, things were not going so well.. he just remembered different. I love Tom, and i understand Summer, Yet I think he left tom in order to stay with the other guy and not hurt him.
Summer was a sociopath. She breaks up with him just as dinner arrives, and then is shocked that he won't stay and be her bff. She flirts and dances with him at a wedding later, never telling him that she's going to get married to someone she just met. She invites him to her party, mocks his career in front of her friends, and then ignores him the rest of the evening. He only finds out about the other guy when he sees a ring on her finger. She strings him along for 10 months, seducing him and sleeping with him, while pretending they are just friends.
AceIQC It's crazy how many people misread this movie. Tom and his juvenile ideas about women were the reason the relationship failed. Summer was confused about Tom, she was attracted to him obviously, and valued his companionship, but never saw future with him as a serious romantic partner, she made that very clear in the beginning, and Tom refused to listen and continued to project his own fantasies onto her. She only started getting more serious with him once he guilts her into doing so, and once that happens she becomes unhappy with the relationship. She broke up with him when dinner arrived because she didn't want to go to dinner in the first place, a later scene clearly shows Tom insisted they have dinner once he realizes she's feeling uncomfortable. Summer is a human, she was flawed of course, but things that went wrong in the relationship were clearly because of Tom and not her. JGL event recently just said on Twitter that Tom is the one at fault, and that he was projecting, refusing to listen, and being selfish throughout the film until he matures and grows at the end.
Yep, and she told him, clearly and directly, from day 1 that she didn't want to be in a relationship. She was happy to have sex and hang but it was never going to be more than that. It isn't her fault that Tom ignored it and made up a fantasy of what their interactions were.
@kiyosk Yeah if I had a dollar for every guy who lied to me about wanting something "serious" when all he was after was sex, I'd have a lot of money. People who lie are bad people. But if someone is honest and the other person chooses to hear something else, then, whelp, that's not the honest person's fault.
"You're still my best friend!" they both sucked, but if you know it's gonna twist the knife, just let them walk away. She didn't owe him a relationship, that's a hard lesson to learn in life, but damn that was salt in the proverbial wound.
Wouldn’t it be funny , if Summer was sitting around talking to all of her friends about the exact same situation? I would love a movie from her point of view. She was right though she was kinda acting like Sid Vicious because she wasn’t upfront with her feelings and she knew it too and then out of nowhere she kinda just stabs him ha ha.
this movie is so realistic. I don't hate summer that much because i know she's been very vocal about not getting into a serious relationship. but i kinda don't like how she acts the night they met again in millie's wedding. she acted like she wanted tom again in her life and made him believe there's a chance for them without telling him that she's already engaged! dude that hurts i think she took advantage on tom's.
Something many don’t realize is Tom’s lack of maturity & focus on his own life, his own goals and aspirations and growth as a human was the main reason Summer moved on. When she mentions finding “something she never was sure about (in Tom)” it was his obsession with her to the point he put his entire life as a 2nd priority and placed her on a pedestal, as the center of his happiness. When you pay attention to her description of the guy she ended up with, he walked up to her and made the first move. Something Tom was incapable of doing at the beginning of the film because he was still a boy and hadn’t been placed into a spot in his life where he had to grow into a man (until she leaves him & he finally steps it up.) Everyone thought Summer was a b*tch when in reality she was just looking for a man, not a b*tch boy.
I'm glad they broke up so tom can man himself up just for a change for himself and thats why summer broke up with him but that line "You're still my bestfriend" hits me to my very soul 😭💀
Summer is in the end, just another flawed human. Yeah she did say she only wanted a casual relationship but the human side of her had trouble keeping things crystal clear cut. She probably got swept up in the honeymoon phase herself, and naturally her mind started to conflict with her initial proclamation. How many times have we said “we will do this” only for us to lose fortitude over time? But in the end, she realized she’s gotten too deep and extricating herself was bound to be a painful, rough event.
I met a boy 15 years ago who fell hard for me. I treated him kinda badly. I didnt want anything serious (i made that clear) and he fell super hard within the first few weeks and scared me off. We carried on occasionally hooking up for a year until i said no more. We lost contact. Fast forward 15 years later and we bumped into each other at a gig... And this week i moved in with him and ive fallen just as hard this time. Right person, wrong time.
Rachel always was my favourite character. She's cool and she has common sense. But is it me (and I know this isn't the point of the scene) or does Tom not know anything about his sisters personal life? Over the years it's just seemed to me that Tom has a very one-sided relationship with most people - all I've ever seen him talk about with his friends and his sister is himself.
Exactly.....this is just a paradoxical line.....she said she doesn't want anything serious but she acted completely opposite in the whole time and in the end she just ended their relationship
How the world has changed, eh? Falling in love with a coworker, meeting IRL, imperfect people with needs and misunderstood feelings. Kissing in the copy room? People actually going to see each other. People who are not totally cynical. Yeah, its like a throwback to the 1980's.
According to me either they're both wrong or none of them are. Summer was clear she didn't want relationship Tom wasn't honest with his feelings from the start (Toms fault: he shouldn't have agreed something he didn't want, he was just delusional) summer might've thought he'd be okay with fwb because he doesn't have "feelings for her" when she asked him if he likes her (summers fault: shouldn't have kissed him if they aren't dating) So you see things just kept going until they realized "what are we doing?" This is all about lack of communication and this has become so common that we all relate now (I've been thru this too)
Here's something that no one really talks about here. There are no real bad guys in this narrative, in fact, who you see as the supreme bad guy is a reflection of your views. But they both are not innocent and both could have handled situations better. The thing is and in a big pictures sense: their relationship was the most important to the both, up until that time. She learned from him that it was possible to find true love, he challenged her on it; There were other flaws in him: lacked ambition, not honest with himself, denial, manipulative (although subtly and well-intended) that didn't make him a good fit for her...He learned to see things how they are, not how he wanted them to be, and to relax and not be such a control freak, and find his purpose in life.
Unrequited Love is the most misunderstood love yet one of the most painful things a human will ever experience. I noticed this because of people here hating on Tom. When you are in love, expectations are natural. It's just sucks that not everyone can't reciprocate our feelings. In my opinion, Tom and Summer have their own fair share of mistakes. Afterall, the moral of the story is don't settle for incompatibility. Tom should have seen the red flags earlier and Summer should have cut things off immediately when she noticed Tom's growing affection to her. I experienced it both. The dumper and the dumpee. But being the dumpee is the worst. It really clouds your mind and blinded by love. That's why when you got rejected, just leave. I repeat, L-E-A-V-E before you fell into an endless cycle of self-destruction just like what Tom experienced.
I love how tom was like an average delusional mc about love and thinks he is superior than his friends but summer tried to gave him many chances to get him out of his delusional world he is in because he was forcing his world on her and when summer left tom he basically turned from a boy to a man this movie was great even tho summer and tom didnt work out
When summer say “I think we should stop seeing each other” that’s the moment I knew, she had someone else. So she had a thing with someone else when she’s “friendzoning” Tom
I don't know why some people call Summer a bitch. Karaoke night she said she didn't want to be anybody's girlfriend. She started hooking up with Tom, she said that she wasn't looking for anything serious and that it'd just be like they were hanging out. Tom shouts at her "And I say we're a couple damn it!" she comes back the next day saying that he deserves some clarity on their relationship but that even though she could be sure about how she felt about him that night she couldn't promise him that she'd feel the same way the next day or the next week or anytime in the future. She tries having a committed relationship with him, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. They hang out, they mostly have fun, but she's not really happy with the relationship. And when she breaks up with him, she doesn't say anything like 'by the way I'm breaking up with you and I've been sleeping with the guy from the mail room', she says "I think we should stop seeing each other" and says that she doesn't think they're relationship is healthy because they keep fighting and she says that she's like Sid in the 'Sid and Nancy' relationship which means she's basically saying that she thinks that she keeps attacking Tom and that that's why she thinks their relationship should stop. She never really did anything bitchy.
@@sunnybubbleday Oh I totally agreed with that. I'll be friendly and say hi next time I see her, but that's about it. It's just not the same when we were friends before we started dating. I'd rather just move on and focus on myself, like how Tom did by the end of the movie.
From personal experience though, it’s probably not the best idea to go the classic “there are many other fish in the sea” to somebody suffering attachment issues in general. I don’t think Tom doesn’t know that the statement is technically true. But to someone like Tom, while he could very well find someone new and love them a whole lot, the Summer he knows is irreplaceable. It’s almost like losing a loved one in a way. Although, I’m not sure what I’d say either
Her character and personality was so cringe lmao but I agree with the fact that he shouldn’t have idealized her he put her in a pedestal when in reality she was a regular person with emotions and stuff. Personally I do don’t like her character but I also didn’t like toms behavior
This is the most appropriate comment. I don't like Tom and Summers character. Tom shouldn't have gotten involved no one should get involved with a person like her. These people are confused and so many people agree with her because they are confused as well. Everyone saying summer was right. But wouldn't never date someone like her. Coz they know they might get dumped the next day.
Your first time viewing this movie, you probably think Summer is a manipulative bitch and completely took advantage of Tom. Your fifth time viewing this movie, you probably realize that Tom is projecting way too much onto Summer who tried to tell him that she wasn’t looking for anything serious. Your tenth time viewing this movie, you realize both are incredibly flawed people who got caught up in something, didn’t recognize what the other was going through, and left a lot of damage in their wake.
I can't really blame him for getting up and walking away she did just compare herself to Sid Vicious while comparing their relationship to Sid and Nancy's. I mean comparing your relationship to something as negative as that it gives off negative vibes and tends to rub off. If you don't want the relationship that's fine, but don't expect to be friends if you give off negativity.
The thing with men is that some never care to notice what's wrong in the relationship thinking their partners are happy yet be faced with the reality of us bottling up all those things and disappointments for months only to figure out later that our reality is different than theirs
This movie clip popped up in my feed only to remind me that I never liked this movie. I've been utterly heartbroken, but I don't relate to him. I've been slightly apathetic at the end of a relationship, but I can't relate to her either. They just fit into their stereotypical characters so dramatically that they don't even seem human.
I like it just for cinematography, All the motion in the beginning and the way the camera follows Rachel into the apartment. I just think the director went the extra mile in every scene. Don't give a shit about the plot. There is some good stuff - i love his little sister's character and their relationship.
A typical American society, as long as you get your lust satisfied (doesn't matter if you love otger person or not) and when your lust is satisfied and you find no more physical benefits, then dump that person and choose another person to dump, goes on and on in an unending cycle...
I hate how people take sides with this movie. It’s either ‘fuck him’ or ‘fuck her’. Jesus Christ, life isn’t that simple. They are both flawed people, and both could have handled the relationship/situation better. They are flawed, because they are human. There is no bad guy. Where’s the nuance with half of these comments? Don’t read them you’ll lose brain cells.
Tom’s little sister was the most mature person in this movie.
Real
"just stop being a pussy"
A good theory about her is that she might older but she’s just a kid because that’s how Tom sees her as his little sister. Like how she knows a lot about relationships, she references two ex boyfriends and the age gap between her and Tom.
@@mast3rchief536 Hmm, it’s not unusual for a younger sibling to know that information.
I love how he breaks plates in response. Totally stable.
Hence why Summer left him
I actually can't stop laughing every time I watch that scene lol
Yeah coz people cannot go through that right.What loads of bullshit
lmao
people acting like that is a normal response should really go to therapy
@@Player6576_it's sarcasm
They should of double released this movie one with summers pov. would of been brilliant
The writer had trouble writing for Female characters, most Male writers can't. Also he was writing the script from his own personal experience which is why it's all in Tom's point of view.
We already know Summer's POV. She told Tom on DAY ONE that she doesn't believe in love, she doesn't want a relationship, she just wants to screw around. She TOLD HIM THAT. Men always whine and cry that women aren't direct, they "hint" and never say the truth. But she TOLD HIM DIRECTLY AND HONESTLY that she didn't want to be in a relationship and he just went along and heard "We're boyfriend and girlfriend!"
@@koolaidman6251 calm down treacle. Not all men do this or that and neither do women. Stop generalising
@@koolaidman6251 👍👍👍 preach
@@koolaidman6251 but she acted like a couple. if she just wanted to hook up it should not have been a everyday thing. maybe once every few weeks thing. Even at the end she attempts to hold his hand despite being married as she hangs at a park alone. Shes someone who will never be happy
Relationships are only bound to work when both partners are willing to do everything to be together and make it through, he was too caught up in the honeymoon phase he didn't realize she wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment, sometimes when you fall in love, you don't notice how unhappy your significant other is because you want to believe that you make them happy the way they do for you
very true. learned from experience
FALSE. If she wasn't ready for commitment she wouldn't have kissed Tom in bed and held hands with him in public.
Tom may have been immature, but the TRUE moral of the movie is always stay away from women who do not know what they want.
@@h.9089 she was ready but not for him, like sometimes a man can stay in a relationship with a woman for 10 years and never think of taking that commitment to the next level but then he meets someone and within 5 months he already proposed, moral of the story: no matter how much you love someone, they won't stay with you unless they really want to
@@rorosung1026 Even if she didn't want to commit with him, she would've had the maturity to avoid getting too close as having sex and holding hands. Thats passing the borderline of getting too close with someone you don't want to commit to.
If a man were to do that he would be immature to sleep with someone he knows he does not want to commit to, along with being aware that this person obviously had feelings for you.
1:38
“Aren’t you happy?”
“You’re happy?”
“You’re not?”
“Well all we do is argue.”
“That is Bullshit!”
😂
That's just one side of the story.
😂
I finally realized mostly everything showed in the movie was Tom's point of view.
True
Masticatious no, it’s because more people sympathise with his situation than hers. Most people are not attractive, hence their affection only go one way.
because it’s 500 days of ‘summer’
@Masticatious Yep. Summer tells Tom on DAY 1 that she doesn't believe in love, doesn't want a boyfriend, doesn't do all that. So then he convinces himself that she's his girlfriend! And men call women illogical and emotional LOL this is the epitome of irrational, emotional, hysterical behavior on Tom's part.
@@koolaidman6251 and then she starts making out with him UM ANYWAYS LOL
Chloe Moretz was already showing what a great actress she is. She was so great in this film.
I thought same!
and she never use her skills, summer and kick ass are her only good movies, bad luck she doesnt get a good roll
@@cristiancabrera3263 Hey, she's also great in Hugo
They are lying, Just because there are plenty of fish in the sea doesn't mean that they're all emotionally available.
Plenty of fish in the see does not equal all fish does it? The expression works because its optimistic and accurate
Find one who is. Duh
The best thing to do after heartbreak is to heal emotionally. Don't go out & date if you are still hurt. Love yourself first until you are back to yourself emotionally.
80% of the population is undateable. People are only getting together because of alcohol.
-Jerry Seinfeld
Doesn’t also mean that you’ll connect with many of these “fish in the sea”
“You’re still my best friend!” I felt that man
Isn't that a narrow escape ?!
guys hear that a lot!
If I heard that shit I would look back at her with menacing eyes and walk the f out of that shithole. I would take that L with prejudice. Yeah, best friends have sex all the time don't they?
@@MMAisTHEbestSPORT08 Some do actually, because it's what they want. Tom didn't want that. he wanted a girlfriend
And people say summer isn't a bad person...
Tom says the same things that summer says when they're in the car and Tom asks what their relationship is. I don't know if its intentional I just noticed it after watching this movie like 12 times
If u wanna know in the car tom asks "what are we doing" and summer answers "I don't know, I don't care, I'm happy aren't you happy?"
And tom says it again in this scene except a lot sadder lol
This movie puts on a master class of juxtaposition and the changing of emotions through time. One of my favorite movies
Yes but when tom answered yes it wasn’t true he actually wasn’t happy, thats how powerful love can be it can leave you blind to your own emotions that it makes it difficult for you to identify how you really feel, relationships can make us happy but you should never depend your happiness on your partner. He was unhappy with summer but he loved her so much he allowed himself to stick around and stay unhappy. If that were me and i felt like summer was making me feel unhappy because she didnt want a relationship with me id leave and id move on because my happiness matters so much to me than to be stuck wether the woman i love wants to be with me or not
I realized it but just after first time watch
Oh wow didn’t realize that
@@ZTone47 you desever more likes.
I personally love how the friends are so supportive and there for Tom. So wholesome 👏
i like how they showed how it was weeks in a relationship then months later they were arguing & just done
i felt that.
2:54 Whoever came up with the saying "There's plenty of other fish in the sea" had no idea how it feels to have your heart broken.
I would like to meet the guy that said "it is better to love and lose, that never have loved" so i can introduce him to a metal bat
@jordoruiz0001 it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. You got to experience love. Love. Very few people are fortunate to find love even fewer to keep it.
@@jenpringle6402 while I believe that it's better to have loved even if nothing else happened or if something started and it just didn't work than never have felt anything, I can tell by experience that more often than not it's better to avoid getting into relationships. It's not just that heartbreaks happen, it's more that abusive relationships happen and destroy lives.
Well . There's plenty of fish in the sea . You just caught the wrong fish.
Guys that can get multiples girls tends to say that
She loves the pancake, but not him
after reading about attachment theory I think tom was more a anxious type and summer an avoidant so it's hard to get along when they love in different ways. My point is it's nobody's fault it didn't work, it's just their needs were different.
Bowlby
a book i read on this topic even cites this movie as an anxious-avoidant relationship, but i disagree. if she was avoidant, how would she have comitted so fast to the husband? maybe she just had never been in love before.
Summer is a fearful avoidant. This attachment style makes people run hot and cold, not because they're manipulators who like to lead people and then ditch them, but internally they're fighting both the need for intimacy and the fear of getting to close. They can only ever commit to someone when their need for intimacy is greater than their fear if engulfment. But even then they could double guess their choices. It all happens subconsciously or unconsciously, the person is unaware of why they're this way.
Unless and until they're willing to work on their attachment issues, trauma and values, these people will just jump from relationship to relationship hurting others and worst of all, hurting themselves the most
I feel like you guys make up words and bullshit theories in order to explain the simplest, most selfish outcome of all people.
She didn’t want that toy; she wanted another.
Or both are dumb enough not to know this is not going yo work because one is too needy and the other one is like a cat. Anyways, there is no real victim here
In my early 20s, i empathized with Tom. But now, being 26, I would hate to date a man like Tom. He put way too much pressure on Summer to be this perfect partner he idealized her to be when all she did was made it clear she didn’t want a relationship ...where’s the logic? lol
kiyosk maybe she did want a serious relationship, just not with you. sorry that happened man. people need to be more open and honest to avoid heartbreak later on
kiyosk maybe go on a few more dates with a person before you decide to be in a relationship. Clicking after just one date is WAY too fast. You may find that after a month or two of getting to know each other that you’re not compatible.
@kiyosk damn man sorry for that shit it happens that's why don't expect to much to someone just bcoz you're inlove
@@Ravenloks facts
I’m in my 20s now and when I first watched it I was a teenager and honestly if I was Summer... I’d make the same choice. He definitely pressured her into a relationship.
15 Year old me ..... Girls like Summer are Bit-ches!!!
30 Year old me ...... So I've been a deluded self-Infatuated Tom all these years.
Good man!
At least you learned. We all have a our scars from our experiences but we learn from them. At least some of us.
Summer is still a bitch but tom is just a hopeless dumbass.
I love how Tom's sister was called in when he was at crisis point ❤ that's so cool.
"You did the right thing"
Look at chloe she's so small
“i don’t believe in love” “i love these pancakes 😋”
Some people say Summer is a bitch for leading Tom on, and some people say Tom is just idealizing Summer as something more than who she is. In my opinion, both happen throughout the film. It is natural human error to go believe someone who makes you feel special and gets very intimate with you despite them claiming they have no true feelings for you. People that are in this spot more often than not become attached and believe that there are true feelings underneath because of the love they hold for a particular person. And you cannot blame a person who gets strung along like that, it really is a painful experience that is not entirely their fault. On the other hand, you cannot blame someone who gives someone a shot at love despite not being sure of the idea at the beginning of its conception. I do side more with Tom since I’ve been in his boat a few times and have never been in Summer’a position, that being said I can see the flaws in both perspectives.
Omg thank you. I've been saying this all along. They both effed up.
"And you cannot blame a person who gets strung along like that, "
1.) in Tom's case, yes you can because summer told him upfront that she was not interested in anything serious. The movie literally introduces a character (Alison) to ask Tom " and she said she didnt want anything serious?"
2.) Summer did not string Tom along. She told him what the deal is up front and Tom chose to stay in that.
Just because a woman hangs out with you, kisses you, holds your hand, and has sex with you AFTER she told you she doesnt want anything serious, and just wants to be friends, does NOT mean she is stringing you along.Tom chose to stay in there knowingly she didnt want anythig seirous, and he tried to impress upon her his idea of a relationship and "the one" even when she told him she was not interested in him like that.
This is a grown adult who clearly chose to not listen and just focused on his own ideas arnd himself.
I agree I side with Tom more because I also think Sunmer only dated him because she knew how attracted he is to her. That was her demeanor the whole movie. Sadly I've been in her shoes and I hated myself for that even tho it was not for a long period of time only two months and I liked the guy way more than Summer liked Tom but still the damage is the same. And I will never do that again. So yeah there is no excuse for Summer even though they tried to make it like there is in the end truth is Tom was shortchanged.
@@steverogers7601 You're wrong...because Summer knew he liked her for real..and wanted more..as a woman I'll know that for sure even if the guy says it's alright. So knowing that and still being intimate with him without any plans for a serious relationship is indeed stringing him along. The problem is guys will just pretend they are okay with it because they are afraid to be honest and lose the girl. Same cases with women. So maybe we should just be honest to ourselves what we really want and call out this bs string along issue when we see it. And then we'll find people who's willing to commit to us as we are to them.
@@steverogers7601 "Just because a woman hangs out with you, kisses you, holds your hand, and has sex with you AFTER she told you she doesnt want anything serious, and just wants to be friends, does NOT mean she is stringing you along."
doing all these things, kissing, holding hands, and having sex, are lines that should never be crossed when you proclaim to only wanna be friends. most people don't do these things with people they're just friends with. this is booty call/friends with benefits territory, and anyone who does this, should know, when you give your intimacy to someone in this manner, you risk becoming emotionally attached to them. its very easy for emotional needs of affection and engaging in sexual intimacy to be confused with one another, and thus a person will catch feelings, and sometimes a person don't mean to get emotionally attached, but it happens because humans can't help being human. Plus theres always a chance that people change their minds and feelings through engaging in these actions, and guess what? it did change summer. she did end up wanting a serious relationship, just not with tom. Sure, tom definitely should have never gone any further with her after what she said, but he probably thought he could handle the whole no strings attached ordeal, but clearly he ended up being proven wrong.
she didn't string him along, but she should of thought of the possibility of what would happen if she entertained him with kissing, sex etc.
in other words, she didn't set any boundaries and shouldn't entertain any man like that unless she knows for sure that hes a straight up chad or tyrone, which im sure she quickly figured out tom wasn't that dude lol
just saying
I watched the movie for the first time around the time it was released in 2009. Back then, I was in my early 20s, and I really empathized with Tom. I’m a girl, and while I was probably less extreme in getting obsessed over guys I fancied, I could relate to his feelings on some level. Now, being over 35 and having been through multiple long-term relationships, I can say that:
1. Tom is needy and not very mature. He ignores the evidence that’s right in front of him.
2. Summer is not someone I would ever date, even in the short term, but she does have her integrity. I wish I had been more like Summer in my twenties.
Overall, the movie is a piece of art from a great era. I was somewhat of a hipster myself (I totally loved The Smiths :)), so aesthetically, the movie brings up a lot of warm nostalgia for me.
I can’t just understand, people, how can you just ignore obvious facts of manipulations of summer? Yes, Tom is naive idiot in love, BUT, it doesn’t mean that you can just use him as summer did, each time he raised the questions about relationships between them, she tried to switch the theme, or played on emotions of Tom that way so he would go back to the previous step as it was good for her. After bar, why in the damn did she come to him? Why did she kept their “relationships” so long if she saw that he wanted more and suffered from it? Why a couple of words is more valuable than the all actions she did by attaching him to her and keeping him on comfy distance. Even on breakup she didn’t think about his feelings: “let’s be friends”. Only an idiot would think that this state of friend won’t hurt his moral state, it’s just another her egoistic will.
The fact that she called him just before wedding not telling even about it, showed that she didn’t change, because she knew that he wouldn’t probably come if she told him before meeting. She didn’t apologised for hurting his feelings, even though that person deeply and honestly wished her the best after all that he went throw.
You can’t just use silly boy who fell in you, she could understand the situation in 1-2 months really quickly and to break up faster so he would not suffer more, instead she kept him just in the way that was convenient for her, not thinking about consequences.
If someone saying one thing but in the same time doing the opposite and pulling the emotional strings to make you do what this person wants, it called manipulation. She should have stopped in the begging.
I only got around to watching this movie recently, but I'll bring up a point that nobody else seems to have made. Namely, that Summer seems to lose respect for Tom as their relationship develops (or fails to).
Others have brought up how Tom fell in love with the idea of Summer and apparently never made any effort to get to know her better, and everything is told through his perspective. Maybe so. But when so much is left out (we don't see what the extent of their interactions in the park, in bed, etc. are based on) then it's hard to say anything with certainty (those points should be made very clearly in the film, not left to the audience's guessing). And after all, this is a movie, so it's somebody's idea to sell a product and an image to a wide audience and make money.
What stuck out to me most, however, is how little confidence Tom has in himself. He has a background in architecture and yet he's designing greeting cards for a living. A dead-end job that brings him no contentness in life. His friends are not the modestly ambitious or aspiring types. Tom seems to lose himself in their relationship. His interests become hers without there being the reciprocity on her end (he doesn't seem like a very interesting guy). Tom is even publicly self-deprecating about his career prospects at her birthday party (a very bad move) and Summer brings this up a number of times, too.
Realistically, despite all her cynicism, Summer wanted to connect with a partner, and in Tom she found someone who was shallow, had low self-esteem, and not attentive to her wants and needs. And that is why I think she then is able to make the commitment to marry toward the end - she's sure about her partner and knows he's not the unreliable, wishy-washy type. That's I think the most generous and realistic evaluation of their relationship we can make.
Spot on. 👏
Yes dude !!!!!!!!! This one right here I’ve been looking for!!!!
Also as time progresses she learns he is not emotionally stable and doesn’t feel safe with him sharing how she actually feels and processes everything
She didn’t feel emotionally secure with him because he wasn’t with himself
Yes dude !!!!!!!!! This one right here I’ve been looking for!!!!
Also as time progresses she learns he is not emotionally stable and doesn’t feel safe with him sharing how she actually feels and processes everything
She didn’t feel emotionally secure with him because he wasn’t with himself
@@naomidenisepinedaspirit you've played summer in your life many times probably. The way you're excited to see someone who doesn't put summer in the wrong shows.
@@anandja8544 that’s not true I agree with summer being in the wrong as well
And you’re definitely right about that I’ve been summer before in one particular relationship and it was just like he stated above.
Such a great movie. Recall at beginning of movie "how easily she could cut off her hair and feel nothing" and at karaoke bar when Tom discloses his idea of love and Summer says "you really don't believe that?" "Love, what does that even mean?"
This movie is literally my life
understood
always
Hi Tom.
i know the new cool opinion to have is that tom is completely in the wrong and summer did nothing, but you have to admit, immediately eating pancakes like nothing happened after breaking up with someone is very mean
There is no cool opinion. I think people who take ‘sides’ with this movie have completely missed the point. It’s more nuanced than that, like you’ve mentioned. Both are flawed, because they are human. They weren’t right for each other.
Tom is telling what happened, how they broke up, in his head everything went a lot more brutal than it probably went
@@HelloEdith cope
Also... they were never boyfriend and girlfriend... Tom refused to be upfront with what he wanted... he only hinted at it and otherwise agreed to be in a casual FWB situationship.
From her perspective, she was ending their “friends with benefits” status... what else is there to do? She thought they could just be friends bc he wasn’t as honest about the depth of his feelings for her and went out of his way to mask it... hence carrying on with her dinner.
Could she have been more observant? Yeah probably... but it’s not her fault she can’t read his mind. 🤷🏻♀️
(Also... I’ll add that I used to have much more of a “Tom” mentality in my approach to dating... so I’m not hating on him. I’m just pointing out his naivety makes him an unreliable narrator in the story until he takes a bit more responsibility for his hand in his own misery and stop waiting to be “saved by love”)
@@and_were_just_supposed_to_4110 another toxic human spotted.
Yet, in reality, things were not going so well.. he just remembered different. I love Tom, and i understand Summer, Yet I think he left tom in order to stay with the other guy and not hurt him.
Summer was a sociopath. She breaks up with him just as dinner arrives, and then is shocked that he won't stay and be her bff. She flirts and dances with him at a wedding later, never telling him that she's going to get married to someone she just met. She invites him to her party, mocks his career in front of her friends, and then ignores him the rest of the evening. He only finds out about the other guy when he sees a ring on her finger.
She strings him along for 10 months, seducing him and sleeping with him, while pretending they are just friends.
AceIQC It's crazy how many people misread this movie. Tom and his juvenile ideas about women were the reason the relationship failed. Summer was confused about Tom, she was attracted to him obviously, and valued his companionship, but never saw future with him as a serious romantic partner, she made that very clear in the beginning, and Tom refused to listen and continued to project his own fantasies onto her. She only started getting more serious with him once he guilts her into doing so, and once that happens she becomes unhappy with the relationship. She broke up with him when dinner arrived because she didn't want to go to dinner in the first place, a later scene clearly shows Tom insisted they have dinner once he realizes she's feeling uncomfortable. Summer is a human, she was flawed of course, but things that went wrong in the relationship were clearly because of Tom and not her. JGL event recently just said on Twitter that Tom is the one at fault, and that he was projecting, refusing to listen, and being selfish throughout the film until he matures and grows at the end.
@@joepops727 yes! Finally someone gets it!
@@joepops727 I think Tom had a chance when they left the kareokee bar and Summer asked him if he liked her. He responded with, "yes, just as friends".
@@leahvictoria7447 they don't misread it, they just disagree with you.
She just didn’t love him. 🤷🏻♀️
Plain and simple
Yep, and she told him, clearly and directly, from day 1 that she didn't want to be in a relationship. She was happy to have sex and hang but it was never going to be more than that. It isn't her fault that Tom ignored it and made up a fantasy of what their interactions were.
@kiyosk Yeah if I had a dollar for every guy who lied to me about wanting something "serious" when all he was after was sex, I'd have a lot of money. People who lie are bad people. But if someone is honest and the other person chooses to hear something else, then, whelp, that's not the honest person's fault.
@kiyosk sounds like a real keeper lol
Exactly
Instead of “We’ll talk about it later” it should have been “we’ll figure it out.” and that is what Autumn had to offer to Tom at the end of the movie.
"You're still my best friend!" they both sucked, but if you know it's gonna twist the knife, just let them walk away.
She didn't owe him a relationship, that's a hard lesson to learn in life, but damn that was salt in the proverbial wound.
When I was 15, I accidentally popped my knee cap. It was horrible.
But the worst pain I ever felt, was my ex calling me just a friend
I would immediately start doing some serious self reflection If a partner tells me that I’m the Nancy spungen in the relationship .
“I ‘love’ these pancakes”
and that did it. lol
aa
1:53
my body when it eventually breaks down from years of inhaling jelly powder
Wouldn’t it be funny , if Summer was sitting around talking to all of her friends about the exact same situation? I would love a movie from her point of view. She was right though she was kinda acting like Sid Vicious because she wasn’t upfront with her feelings and she knew it too and then out of nowhere she kinda just stabs him ha ha.
She was definitely upfront lmao Tom just ignored it.
POV summer
Summer tell her friends about tom and her friends tell about how Tom is not worth it to be settle with summer
this movie is so realistic. I don't hate summer that much because i know she's been very vocal about not getting into a serious relationship. but i kinda don't like how she acts the night they met again in millie's wedding. she acted like she wanted tom again in her life and made him believe there's a chance for them without telling him that she's already engaged! dude that hurts i think she took advantage on tom's.
Something many don’t realize is Tom’s lack of maturity & focus on his own life, his own goals and aspirations and growth as a human was the main reason Summer moved on. When she mentions finding “something she never was sure about (in Tom)” it was his obsession with her to the point he put his entire life as a 2nd priority and placed her on a pedestal, as the center of his happiness.
When you pay attention to her description of the guy she ended up with, he walked up to her and made the first move. Something Tom was incapable of doing at the beginning of the film because he was still a boy and hadn’t been placed into a spot in his life where he had to grow into a man (until she leaves him & he finally steps it up.)
Everyone thought Summer was a b*tch when in reality she was just looking for a man, not a b*tch boy.
You see no irony in calling someone a bitch boy, huh?
That’s so true he didn’t even notice her at first
This is my comfort movie. It’s heartbreaking but beautiful. I love it so much 💖
setting was LA, shot in LA but felt more like NYC
Lol. Why?
I always thought it was NY.
I'm glad they broke up so tom can man himself up just for a change for himself and thats why summer broke up with him but that line "You're still my bestfriend" hits me to my very soul 😭💀
Tom, dont go. You're still my best friend 😑😑
Yeezus
Yeah .... they're always s3x with their best friends 😂😂
aa
2:32 tom, don't go, you're still my best friend. bhoooom
Summer is in the end, just another flawed human. Yeah she did say she only wanted a casual relationship but the human side of her had trouble keeping things crystal clear cut. She probably got swept up in the honeymoon phase herself, and naturally her mind started to conflict with her initial proclamation. How many times have we said “we will do this” only for us to lose fortitude over time? But in the end, she realized she’s gotten too deep and extricating herself was bound to be a painful, rough event.
Sometimes I relate to her because to her a lot this has happened to me as well...
I met a boy 15 years ago who fell hard for me. I treated him kinda badly. I didnt want anything serious (i made that clear) and he fell super hard within the first few weeks and scared me off. We carried on occasionally hooking up for a year until i said no more. We lost contact. Fast forward 15 years later and we bumped into each other at a gig... And this week i moved in with him and ive fallen just as hard this time. Right person, wrong time.
That's great.. congrats and good for you.!
@@pavankalyanm6292 we got engaged on Tuesday haha xx thank you xx
That man is a loser of epoch humiliating proportions
How's it going? Hope all is well one year later.
@@toboroborango9464hi sweet!!! Were married and I'm 3 months off giving birth to our first baby!! Xx
Can we just for a moment ignore the story and look at the beauty of zooey eyes 😍
cringe
She has huge eyes lmao I love big eyes. Plus light eyed brunettes are so attractive to me.
@@aspyn.j_ ok simp
@@user-ju6zx3rm8d admiring beauty on other people? Cringeeee 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
@@skdjcmsbdjc ok simp
NEVER EVER allow another human being have this kind of power over you. You destroy your soul.
Summers POV : she wanted a rich stable guy , she didnt find it in him, end of story
Jokes on her. She was this close to getting with Batman’s sidekick
"Oh so im Nancy..." God such a fuckin deadly line.
Rachel always was my favourite character. She's cool and she has common sense.
But is it me (and I know this isn't the point of the scene) or does Tom not know anything about his sisters personal life?
Over the years it's just seemed to me that Tom has a very one-sided relationship with most people - all I've ever seen him talk about with his friends and his sister is himself.
You are still my best friend
this is 69 likes.. 69..... sixty nine...
💀
Yea, but you're not.
Even I felt that just watching
Exactly.....this is just a paradoxical line.....she said she doesn't want anything serious but she acted completely opposite in the whole time and in the end she just ended their relationship
How the world has changed, eh? Falling in love with a coworker, meeting IRL, imperfect people with needs and misunderstood feelings. Kissing in the copy room? People actually going to see each other. People who are not totally cynical. Yeah, its like a throwback to the 1980's.
Am I the only one worried about a literal child riding her bike on the street in a big city at night?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Matthew Gray Gubler in the same movie was too much to handle!
I do fine that line funny .
Summer- All do is argue.
Tom- that is bullshit! (in aggressive tone)
According to me either they're both wrong or none of them are. Summer was clear she didn't want relationship Tom wasn't honest with his feelings from the start (Toms fault: he shouldn't have agreed something he didn't want, he was just delusional)
summer might've thought he'd be okay with fwb because he doesn't have "feelings for her" when she asked him if he likes her (summers fault: shouldn't have kissed him if they aren't dating)
So you see things just kept going until they realized "what are we doing?" This is all about lack of communication and this has become so common that we all relate now (I've been thru this too)
Here's something that no one really talks about here. There are no real bad guys in this narrative, in fact, who you see as the supreme bad guy is a reflection of your views. But they both are not innocent and both could have handled situations better. The thing is and in a big pictures sense: their relationship was the most important to the both, up until that time. She learned from him that it was possible to find true love, he challenged her on it; There were other flaws in him: lacked ambition, not honest with himself, denial, manipulative (although subtly and well-intended) that didn't make him a good fit for her...He learned to see things how they are, not how he wanted them to be, and to relax and not be such a control freak, and find his purpose in life.
This is why one mustn’t put all their eggs in one basket
My grandfather used to say that... A wise man.
put those eggs into the pancakes
Just like that...
The part when Tom says, "I wanna get her back." No, you can't!
Love this movie, seen it probably 20 times or more
Its amazing
Same here, Red Moon. It's really enjoyable
aa
ah that limbo between being more than best friends but less than a committed relationship..
he’s so real for just getting up and leaving
I don't wanna get over her.
Unrequited Love is the most misunderstood love yet one of the most painful things a human will ever experience.
I noticed this because of people here hating on Tom. When you are in love, expectations are natural. It's just sucks that not everyone can't reciprocate our feelings. In my opinion, Tom and Summer have their own fair share of mistakes. Afterall, the moral of the story is don't settle for incompatibility.
Tom should have seen the red flags earlier and Summer should have cut things off immediately when she noticed Tom's growing affection to her.
I experienced it both. The dumper and the dumpee. But being the dumpee is the worst. It really clouds your mind and blinded by love. That's why when you got rejected, just leave. I repeat, L-E-A-V-E before you fell into an endless cycle of self-destruction just like what Tom experienced.
First 0.20 seconds. Two men in their late 20s early 30s just randomly ringing a little girl to come over to their apartment in the middle of the night
2:08 literally me and my friend with benefits if we ever dated😂
It makes so much sense now.I went through this recently just like what Tom did😢😢😞😞
I love how tom was like an average delusional mc about love and thinks he is superior than his friends but summer tried to gave him many chances to get him out of his delusional world he is in because he was forcing his world on her and when summer left tom he basically turned from a boy to a man this movie was great even tho summer and tom didnt work out
Get her back. But he never had her...
When summer say “I think we should stop seeing each other” that’s the moment I knew, she had someone else. So she had a thing with someone else when she’s “friendzoning” Tom
I don't know why some people call Summer a bitch. Karaoke night she said she didn't want to be anybody's girlfriend. She started hooking up with Tom, she said that she wasn't looking for anything serious and that it'd just be like they were hanging out. Tom shouts at her "And I say we're a couple damn it!" she comes back the next day saying that he deserves some clarity on their relationship but that even though she could be sure about how she felt about him that night she couldn't promise him that she'd feel the same way the next day or the next week or anytime in the future. She tries having a committed relationship with him, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. They hang out, they mostly have fun, but she's not really happy with the relationship.
And when she breaks up with him, she doesn't say anything like 'by the way I'm breaking up with you and I've been sleeping with the guy from the mail room', she says "I think we should stop seeing each other" and says that she doesn't think they're relationship is healthy because they keep fighting and she says that she's like Sid in the 'Sid and Nancy' relationship which means she's basically saying that she thinks that she keeps attacking Tom and that that's why she thinks their relationship should stop.
She never really did anything bitchy.
Inviting him to that party without mentioning it was an engagement party was pretty cruel.
@@ensanesane I imagine these people throwing life lessons wouldn't dare date someone like Summer.
@ rijudehingia1381 if summer were Tom, she would be considered a sociopath
@@mastergator9641 you mean if Tom had Summer's personality or if Summer had Tom's personality?
Movie aside, his apartment is sick af
im sorry i know that this isnt about him but.. I LOVE MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER HE LOOKS SO GOOD WITH LONG HAIR
2:33 that broke me when I watched
I hated Zoey for a long time just for that
oof, right thru the heart
There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone you've been with
@@MartinGonzalez-nl7vl That's entirely fair but I do think it's entirely unreasonable to hate someone for that
@@sunnybubbleday Oh I totally agreed with that. I'll be friendly and say hi next time I see her, but that's about it. It's just not the same when we were friends before we started dating. I'd rather just move on and focus on myself, like how Tom did by the end of the movie.
Do you mean the actress or the character?
0:34 doin the dishes
From personal experience though, it’s probably not the best idea to go the classic “there are many other fish in the sea” to somebody suffering attachment issues in general. I don’t think Tom doesn’t know that the statement is technically true. But to someone like Tom, while he could very well find someone new and love them a whole lot, the Summer he knows is irreplaceable. It’s almost like losing a loved one in a way. Although, I’m not sure what I’d say either
Her character and personality was so cringe lmao but I agree with the fact that he shouldn’t have idealized her he put her in a pedestal when in reality she was a regular person with emotions and stuff. Personally I do don’t like her character but I also didn’t like toms behavior
How was it cringe when we barely even knew her? That was the whole reason she didn't fall for him, because he didn't try and know the real her.
This is the most appropriate comment. I don't like Tom and Summers character. Tom shouldn't have gotten involved no one should get involved with a person like her. These people are confused and so many people agree with her because they are confused as well. Everyone saying summer was right. But wouldn't never date someone like her. Coz they know they might get dumped the next day.
Your first time viewing this movie, you probably think Summer is a manipulative bitch and completely took advantage of Tom.
Your fifth time viewing this movie, you probably realize that Tom is projecting way too much onto Summer who tried to tell him that she wasn’t looking for anything serious.
Your tenth time viewing this movie, you realize both are incredibly flawed people who got caught up in something, didn’t recognize what the other was going through, and left a lot of damage in their wake.
Chloe grace moretz is so good i loved her in this movie. She made good comedic relief.
This is so funny 🤣🤣🤣 when she said, you still my best friend
you know the guy is inlove when he looks a mess after a break up or something like this.
I can't really blame him for getting up and walking away she did just compare herself to Sid Vicious while comparing their relationship to Sid and Nancy's. I mean comparing your relationship to something as negative as that it gives off negative vibes and tends to rub off. If you don't want the relationship that's fine, but don't expect to be friends if you give off negativity.
*He should have been rich. Simple as that.*
Summer just broke up with him and started acting like literally nothing happened
He’s a Virgo and she’s a Leo. It’s written in the stars.
😭😭😭
Im a year late but can you explain? Do they not mesh?
In my case, she is Virgo and he is aries
The starts are perspective
Tom Didn't Paid the Bill that's Why She Said That
“Things were going so well.”
They were not.
“Oh, so I’m Nancy. 😨”
People talk a lot about nuances, but it's basically natural selection. And of course, it sucks to not be selected.
The thing with men is that some never care to notice what's wrong in the relationship thinking their partners are happy yet be faced with the reality of us bottling up all those things and disappointments for months only to figure out later that our reality is different than theirs
And women are such angels in relationships? GTFO
2:33 tune mere jaana kabhi nahi Jaana Ishq mera dard mera ❤
This movie clip popped up in my feed only to remind me that I never liked this movie. I've been utterly heartbroken, but I don't relate to him. I've been slightly apathetic at the end of a relationship, but I can't relate to her either. They just fit into their stereotypical characters so dramatically that they don't even seem human.
I like it just for cinematography, All the motion in the beginning and the way the camera follows Rachel into the apartment. I just think the director went the extra mile in every scene. Don't give a shit about the plot. There is some good stuff - i love his little sister's character and their relationship.
After trying all the jerks, getting dumped by, in 40s, with 50 cats
''where are all the good guys''
So sad how she moved on to someone else and he was left alone
How HelloFresh responded when I cancelled my subscription after the free trial
Doctor Reid WTF I just realize it now
Dude...
A typical American society, as long as you get your lust satisfied (doesn't matter if you love otger person or not) and when your lust is satisfied and you find no more physical benefits, then dump that person and choose another person to dump, goes on and on in an unending cycle...
Then they wonder why they aren't happy lol
I didn’t realize Matthew Gray Gubler was in this.
Am I imagining things or is this scene (and the thumbnail) incredibly similar to the restaurant scene from Heat?
I hate how people take sides with this movie. It’s either ‘fuck him’ or ‘fuck her’. Jesus Christ, life isn’t that simple. They are both flawed people, and both could have handled the relationship/situation better. They are flawed, because they are human. There is no bad guy. Where’s the nuance with half of these comments? Don’t read them you’ll lose brain cells.
Fuck both. I think the samd
@@francomilazzo8277 what? Lol they are just average people, calm down