@@232rock right & it’s nobody’s job but your own to identify and rectify your personal problems. Whether it being through a therapist or some ppl are fortunate enough to have close friends/family who’s honest about your shortcomings.
And this is def why we should heal before entering a relationship. It is no one's responsibility to heal u but urself. He is speaking truth. We can't expect something we ain't putting out ourselves
@@jenniferrivera8627 yes we are responsible and at some point in time for our own healing and happiness, sometimes we just need help crossing that bridge. I wish we felt more responsible for helping each other, the world would be a better place.
@@thetruthteller33 agree with that. Of many more ppl cared the world would be a happier healthier place. We can be that change a person at a time. With just showing compassion, listening n show love.
In toxic culture they don’t thinking healing is necessary just start a new cycle of toxicity with the next “relationship” while at the same time pretending to uphold traditional expectations in their relationships lol. Sad but true
The spirit of division is running rampant in our community. We refuse to work together and help each other heal. It’s sad 😞 It’s spiritual warfare and many don’t see it.
Well the Lord is raising these boys back into men now. Men are taking their rightful place as leaders again, because change in the blk community starts with men setting themselves in order and as women see this, they will naturally want to follow good, responsible , accountable, hard working men
Again, why should he help you heal? He’s not a therapist. Go see a therapist. stop making excuses for your bad decisions and blaming it on your troubled past
In other words, handle the childhood luggage before traveling into an adult relationship so that you bring your best self into it without weighing yourself and another down.
That sounds good whe. The man does the same thing and his attitude shows he hasn't dealt with his. The only thing he can say is submit but that's a two way street according to the Bible.
@@sweettreatsoverload4296 I’m really confused on when women became the only ones with baggage? These men run around damaged as hell. He is one man, so he should speak for the woman he wants to receive. Not the whole of black women.
Who was arguing? Seem to me that they were engaged in communication. No one raised their voice nor were there any charged emotions. Before y’all come for me lol I absolutely agree with what he is saying. Men are not afforded the same emotional sensitivity as women. This is due to society telling men to stuff down their emotions. Not a healthy practice! We have got to make room for men to feel without judgement! Likewise, we have to stopped labeling women who articulate a different perspective as aggressive, masculine and difficult. Bottom line is that there is a lot of unlearning, compassion and healing that needs to take place on both sides of the fence to move forward!
They say 50% of women will be single by 2030 I see that number going higher by the way women in the comments will rather sell there soul to a career that don’t care about them than have a family. So when men go live overseas with better women don’t start complaining.💯👍🏻
@@SoulRhealit's not society. It's women that say men can't express their emotions, especially when it comes to negative emotions that need to be expressed in order to be controlled. You can’t control something you never let out. Men are not women. We express things in different ways. Women want to turn men into women. That's the whole point we want to avoid. Whenever women say men should be able to express their feelings, it's always about certains feelings that they choose, not all, and in certain ways that women like. It's not about men at all.
He said it correctly. He definitely said what it means to be a feminine woman. She knows how to speak life into a man and submit and bast in her femininity. She knows how to be accountable and etc. This is excellent. This is what I taught mine.
No. He know what he don’t want. What all men don’t want. You just looking at him like some candy but he speaking for all of us. Don’t come with your past drama.
Facts! Everyone needs to clean up their own side of the street. And if y'all ain't ready for a relationship, stop playing with people until you heal yo shi!
I get that. And I wholeheartedly agree. My issue is that no one has clearly answered what a masculine woman looks like. I get adjectives like loud and independent. So women should strive to be quiet and look to others to take care of them. It's just another ignorant train that we're deciding to ride in my opinion.
That last one! Picking battles is key. A lot of times you have to handle things quietly, with a gentle spirit. Not everything is worth fighting over. Then when you do choose something important to fight about, you will be taken seriously and listened to. The last thing you should want is to be contentious or quarrelsome. That will drive men away so fast!
@@beyondthesacrosanctbreeze I can see that for some women fs but I definitely was just too ignorant to what being combative was, I’m just too literal and wouldn’t let things go. I had to do some reflection on that one and final understood what choosing your battles meant. “Is being right worth being lonely?”
@@anequa13 Why is there this undeniable urge to be right? I honestly don't understand where this arrogance comes from. How is this a unanimous trait for most women? It's just mind boggling to me that across the board most women today think they are ALWAYS right. We all know we can't be always right and everyone makes mistakes, and that nobody is perfect, but for whatever reason some women think they are perfect and always right. Talk about conceited. How can someone like that have any friends or relationships whatsoever?
@@beyondthesacrosanctbreeze Perspective 🤷🏾♀️ not everyone is able to see things from others view. Not because they don’t want to but because they don’t have the ability. No one’s perfect 👀 right?
When choosing a partner, it is not my responsibility to fix them. It is my responsibility to decide if they are compatible with me. Broken people hurt people. I dont desire to bring those problems in my inner circle
Whoever ends up w/u will always have problems bc of how you see situations. You shouldn’t even view it as your responsibility to fix someone. It’s a bad starting place. We all need fixing at the end of the day including you bc no one has it fully together. It is your responsibility to love someone though, and if it’s a lifelong partner it’s for better or worse, through thick and thin. Plus how do you measure a person’s compatibility to yours? No 2 people are the same not to mention, if y’all fit according to your measure what if you don’t stack up to theirs? See what I mean. It’s an unending cycle when you think like that.
No, she wasn't going to sit there listening to a man with a weak psyche run game. If he needs that much reassuring he should work on that before considering a relationship with anyone.
@@leescruggs4476 he knows what he wants that's all ...dosent mean he needs reassurance it's simple as if you can't get with his perspective then move on. He wasn't argumentative or combative but he also said it's the same for a woman who knows what they want in a man. You made a good point tho!
@@carolynnavarre8147 I always hear this from women. The tone, the compassion, etc. But I think it’s all an excuse to keep playing dumb. If he said it any gentler women would ignore it. Sometimes a man had to be blunt and to the point so women can’t squirm away and ignore it. Its like weight. Sometime men will approach their women with all the compassion, understanding, gentle, and address her weight gain. But because he did it so soft and gentle she thinks it’s not that serious and will continue “trying” but not really. Until he gets fed up and says something blunt and cruel and hurts he feeling but it snaps her out of her daze.
Submitting to your husband simply means he will shoulder your burdens with you or for you. It actually frees you from anxiety, stress, and doubt and has nothing to do with control or domination over the wife. Let him help and lead you.
Let him help and lead you, if He knows how to lead, hence if he doesn't His going to have to carry your last name instead of you carrying his. Because that also is a burden. Let's talk the truth, if From the start He doesn't care about you or your situation. What is going to happen 3 to 6 month from now? This is why people, Di- -- Worse. Hmm you married the the- vorce man. Hello. Think about it. Before you married you got to know that if he gets out His not going to take your children or to give you hell, for them!!! There's many things to talk about before getting to married to this guy, here's nine things that He mentioned that is important. Who's going to pass that; most likely when he gets there. I see another person in jail. After being "set up" his setting up his paths... Sorry but that's where this guy's go to hell and back
That's not real That's not caring if I lived or sick. He wants a insecure woman. She is going to be abuse mentally or physically. One bad day he is going to beat her cheat on her or ignore her.
@@jewelparham9577 Here is your problem... every good woman is an insecure woman to you... learn to be a woman... you'll realise you are the one who is insecure.
I am a Masculine woman. My father died at 10 years old. My mother had 5 girls and we all had to protect each other. Every man I had was shocked how I could be romantic and masculine at the same time. Help and protect him, pay bills, buy cars and still love him. I did this from a young girl but because I lost my father, I respect and love good men like my father was.
You are not masculine. You are a Boss ass Woman! Period. Handling your business instead of waiting for a man to come pick up the pieces when you can do that yourself makes you an accountable woman that any good man should be attracted to as a partner. Just be careful that you don’t get a man who feels like “she’s got a lot to offer - I’ll just ride on her dime”.
Question to educate myself from your experience. Do you feel a masculine lady can be born that way or only derive from situations that happen in her life. Also would you entertain a guy that vacillate between masculine and feminine? Sorry for the loss of your father especially at such a critical age.
Key phrase every man you were with. In other words it doesn't work in the end. Why, because you're masculine. There can only be one masculine party in a relationship.
Wow that's the best definition and explanation I've heard a man articulate since 2020 when this topic became a part of the algorithm. I'm really impressed how mature he answered and the no nonsense in his voice. HE DID THE WORK! HE KNOWS HIS WORTH! If you want a man of his brain weight you have to do the same. I would love to hear his point of view on many subjects. Definitely a man to learn from in many ways.
@ericbolden4736 No one said that, but it is clear you have a problem with that word submissive, and it's also clear why, on this planet Earth, black women are the highest!! single women, not just that over all other races, put together!! Your still are higher and not by a little % , That's a GOT DAMN SHAME 😳 and you most likely are one of them to. Smmfh! 🤕
I used to fight against the “submitting to your man” mindset but in reality it just means you ALLOW your man to be A MAN TO YOU. It actually feels good to ask your man for help or make him feel wanted and needed even if you’re just doing it to make him feel good. This in turn makes your man want to take care of you and makes him feel valued and respected. It’s not about being his doormat. Once the woman accepts her femininity she allows her man to fully step into his masculinity--this is where the MAGIC of reciprocal respect comes in. It’s actually refreshing
Most men know nothing about the law of reciprocity. They want it so one way. A woman cannot stop a man from being masculine. Most men define feminist as needing the woman to let him make all the decisions with NO!! Accountability.
How is that submission? Y’all changing definitions now to fit your narratives. Being a submissive woman means you are weak, meek and LITERALLY are subject to the will of someone else. Asking your husband to help with something isn’t being fucking submissive. Y’all are so weird.
My grandparents were married for 62 years. I asked both what the key to their longevity was. My Nanny said to accept his flaws and learn to love them like you love the good things about him. She said to work at it every day. Sometimes you have to work harder than your partner and vice versa. My Paw Paw said to pick your battles. He said to marry a man who would pick his also. He told me he learned as they got older, to let Nanny win most of them, because in the end it wasn't that important. Her smile was more important than a stupid argument victory
@@stefanie4514 times may be different, but human nature is the same. Wisdom will always stand the test of time. You may have to tweak it a little bit, but the principles remain the same. This is no different.
And this is why my husband put a ring on my finger after 7mths.. About to celebrate 7yrs in February and still happy every time I see him walk through the door!
Wow congratulations!! So for other woman that’s out her feminine, work & take care of home and maybe some no kids what’s our problem. Happy for you but bragging hmmm
@@danalinsey5544 Nobody is bragging.. Making a comment isn't bragging. I don't understand what you mean by, "out her feminine," can you explain what you mean? Thanks hon..
Okay your not bragging (statement).Nothing you are good got out a bad relationship and did feminism things still doing just a whole lot independent. I compromise but nothing on his behalf. Be blessed sister enjoy your marriage!! Much respect
He made it easy to understand. I would not want to be with a feminine man, wouldn’t even entertain it. Just not attractive to me. So I understand where he’s coming from.
Here’s a secret: HEAL before entering a relationship!!! 🧘🏼♀️ Not ur first relationship or just little kid flings but when you’re old enough to acknowledge your trauma, it should be followed by doin something about not letting it run ur future
@Kush Hazard amennnnn!! But, when ur in that mindset you literally don’t have the ability to comprehend that..my personal opinion is people need to go through the motions in order to get to that turning point ..granted there’s a fine line as to what that point is bc everyone’s different but if I didn’t go through every bit of hell I’ve been through I wouldn’t think and behave the way I do so, many ppl HAVE TO go through sht before they advance bc we were all there ; but yes SO MANY ppl love excuses for everything and anything not everyone’s built like us..and negative Nancy, sobbing sally, pity party Patrick, and complaining Connor become intolerable once you’ve advanced lol my problem now is I’m tooo empathetic and when ppl vent I can’t help but to see myself beggin for someone to care so I try to give the benefit of the doubt but it’s so important to be able to decipher who’s ventin for support n who’s complainin and makin excuses ! ESP nowadays ppl are so weak lol
I love this because it's exactly what I was thinking, not just in the terms of men&women but how maturity starts to become involved when your talking about the union of unbalanced energies
@@neoQueenusagijobuTupaki amen! And, (I’m still a little new at this but..) it’s literally a whole new world and the way you approach things and see sht is WAY different! I actually had a crazy dream and I was running around telling ppl they only have 3 months left to have a spiritual awakening or they’ll be stuck in that mindset forever it was crazy lol
Was going to write this and saw your comment. As a woman who healed from past trauma the resulted in me having masculine energy due to having to fight most of my life, I approve this message. There nothing quite like healing and walking in Devine femininity ❤
@@ll4519 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 there’s nothing better than someone who has looked in the mirror, embrace, owned up, felt, did work, and put their best foot forward everyday! 👏🏻👏🏻
I love everything about this. I once was a “masculine” woman myself and it was honestly very stressful living in that state. Being able to tap into my femininity has allowed me to enjoy life in a totally new way and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He’s a real one
He’s unrealistic, insecure and egotistical. He needs a woman to submit to him like a puppy in order to feel like a man. He literally listed a whole list of what makes a woman “feminine,” among them being “understanding to a man” and “being reasonable” and “nurturing,” meanwhile, I’m sure he does nothing emotionally for her in order to warrant this kind of perfection he’s expecting .
With as many self-help books, how to videos, and everyday societal pressures on women, do you really believe that women aren’t constantly working on themselves? Maybe not, but all I ever see are books, etc. geared towards women being better moms and wives.
100% Truth!!! Coming from a married women… 1 husband w/ over 20+ yrs. invested in my high school sweetheart and 5 children. We’ve fallen in love in every new chapter of lives. Put our relationship in Gods hands and married in the church. We’re one strong Catholic family. My husband still looks at me the day we met and vice versa. We didn’t get lucky. It takes 100% on both sides. We’re blessed because you gotta put in the effort on both sides. Submissive doesn’t mean disrespect. Submit to each of your roles and the home runs smoothly.
Submission=subordinate. So women are relegated to a subservient position just for being female? Yeah, you just keep submitting hun. So ridiculous. Submission to a man for life in a number 2 co-pilot position to another human being for your entire life. What a joke. I really hope you don't have any daughters.
Agreed! Well said sir! 🙌🏽 That's correct- a woman looking for a relationship would not enter into one with a feminine man. The tables were turned and the ladies didn't like it and can't explain that answer away.
Everybody tryn to be heard instead of tryn to understand.... It's sad where we are 2day. Everything in life is upside down. Hopefully one day positivity n understanding will prevail. 🙏🏾 Blessings 2 us all
@@chocolateccm1493 yea we all got hurts n traumas n past ways that we have to get loose from. If we ain't growing we ain't flowing. Everybody wants traditional but chasing the American dream at the same time. It don't work like that. What is "modern traditional?" I just made that up, but I guess that's the balance we looking for.
@Janese724 in my experience some modern women are only wanna feminine when it suits them … for example money , they want a “partnership” in every decision with a man except spending money…. for some reason modern women wanna be traditional only in that function. So when men see this rah rah outspoken women , they ask them why aren’t theirs resources and abilities as big as her mouth. Nothing worse than a disagreeable verbose women that wants a one-sided parasitic relationship Its same thing as a broke emotional man asking for a girly women
Didn’t mean a damm thing. Women for some reason like to equate the important women in your life to them, like they’ve earned stripes in your life. My mama and daughters are NOT you
@@brandonparks8543 That's not why women say that. We're making the point that since most men think like this that means the men your mother and daughter encounter will treat them with the same disrespect and disregard that you dish out. If men can't respect women who aren't related to them then it's inevitable that your loved ones will be disrespected as well. Men rarely have the foresight to think about these things.
You should respect the content of what is being said regardless of the manner in which it is being said. One shouldn't have to pander to you in order to accept good advice. That's why there has probably been a plethora of knowledge coming across your way that you rejected simply because you dislike the person. Look at the content rather than the character. I can almost guarantee that you're going to reject my advice simply because I'm coming off as a bit arrogant and aggressive😂
This needed to be said. 💯 I’m tired of hearing the women being masculine excuses. It’s ok if u masculine just get you a feminine man and call it a day.
He gave her gold, but I know she didn't hear any of it. Edit: Thanks for the likes, kings, and queens! Shout-out to all the real Queens who actually heard & understood what this guy was talking about and didn't get triggered in the comments💯😭🤣🐐
@@ermalovette2075 sounds like you have alot of really short relationships, alot of sex tools or you masterbate alot. Cooperation is another name for submission..Case: I told you I like it when you wear high heel shoes but you keep buying sandals..point: cooperation or separation.what your heard:you say I cant wear high heels all the time. He didnt say all the time...do you get it ?
@@MrDupperman well u don't know me n I don't have short relationship I'm not even n one I like being n control of my relationships that's why I don't get n one unless I want n I don't care if it last nothing last long nowadays ppl not into love no more they into lust n I love me more then anything I didn't read nun but about one sentence so you have a great day I know I am single n peaceful
@@ermalovette2075 poor thing, Your young when you grow up and older you'll understand....nobody want to be alone it goes against your female nature...You life, or a lack of...season greetings.......alone, bye bye
@@MrDupperman baby I got good greetings I God God n family I'm going spend time with your life still go on with or without a MAN lol ppl thts married unhapoy then single ppl they out here cheating on you seasons greetings God loves you
An emotionally mature self confident male would care, be respectful and acknowledge your wounds, your growth and give you the space to heal understanding it is your growth journey as he also heals from his own with the same respect, acknowledgement and peace given on both sides.
If both partners know how to communicate and be there for the other depending on what's needed in that moment. You're golden. Doesn't matter whose expressing more emotion or more "dominance/control" it can go a whole lot easier if you consider eachother throughout
True!! Both partners should be working on their own subconscious baggage, negative traits and both working together in a relationship. It shouldn't ever be one sided. Each partner should know that they are loved, appreciated, cared for and a team. Otherwise, there's no point in being together. Find someone who really matches your efforts and energy! One who will never do you wrong!
He said none of that. He said he is not dealing with masculine women. Nobody asked him to handle their issues. But some trauma makes women hard. Because we have to man up and do sht on our own. So we don’t deal with liars, or bs, we go get what is needed. We don’t NEED permission or approval from men. ( Don’t NEED it, we do sometimes want it though) He’s allowed to date who he wants but he’s looking for a Mommy in ruffles. Nobody is putting up with him for too long. Court Jesters cannot be kings. And kings respect differences, they build. They fix. They support their people. Not just the Queen they admire. Stop dating these chauvinistic masochistic ego driven, lacking in self awareness ass boys.
People not perfect someone will always do someone wrong in some kind of way you probably meant to say and be loyal accountable and everything else the brother said on the video
This is why men will have kids with any woman and women will have kids with any man. Ppl need to be properly vetted so you KNOW what type of person and personality you are dealing with. Set your boundaries and standards if you must but you HAVE TO CARE about those things they define characteristics of a person. For example I don’t want to date someone who is resentful of his mother and has not healed past it/ actively working to heal past it because that can be harmful to me long term in many ways
All mothers aren't good mothers, what happens when the mother hates the father of her offspring and takes it out on the child? Cut out that women are perfect and have no stains in character, Daddy issue affect them more than the young boys usually
@@reallydoe6061 literally no where in my comment is this discussed I am acknowledging what the gentleman said in the video about “not caring”about ppls traumas and what’s happened to them in the past. I also acknowledged both genders in shared responsibility for knowing who they’re with. Ppl don’t resent ppl for no reason. Please work on your comprehension and critical thinking skills Happy Holidays✨🙌🏽
He's right. I was raised by my single dad and my dad didn't have sons so he just raised me like a son - I can cook, clean and keep a house and manage my finances and do everything including fix things around the house and car but I can't ever play the helpless female role and many men can't cope with that. I don't act like a man, I dress feminine and sexy but I don't know how to be weak. I argue with logic over emotion and stand my ground, I don't nag, I don't beg because that's how my dad raised me. So I guess I have masculine traits. I can't cope with a feminine man - and although men deny it, there's a lot of men who whine, nag and are emotionally weak. I can't deal with that.
I have a friend raising his daughter and he is similar to your Dad and they are great men. I have been raised by a single mother and can and do those great things, but this dude… nah …..he got issues…
Dang you describe me to a T only difference is I'm the baby and only girl, mother passed when I was 3 father never remarried so I was the only female in the house my father made me practice walking in hills on top everything else you mentioned!
When I was too much in my masculine energy (I survived war among other things) my marriage and friendships suffered. I was angry all of the time. My best friend stopped me one day and asked me “why do you talk to yourself like that” and at first I didn’t get it. What it boiled down to was I was angry within and it was coming out towards others. I went 100% healing my own issues. I was the common denominator in all my issues. I had to fix me. Because of that, my life became better. My marriage is stronger and my kids are thriving. My friendships that remained are the good ones and the bad friends are gone. Femininity is power. I’m so glad my friend called me out and I listened.
Those that are not listening are out there playing emotional games with the ...you have a daughter or sister card. Their ego is drowning them. But they will never see themselves as the problem.
Woman control access to sex..men control access to relationship..If you cooperate his request shouldn't be a problem not if he does what you want. Case:
@@smhunney8266 if so what are those? and men don't want to compromise on women's behalf yall know women mostly see being loyal as not sleeping withbother women and being faithful yall do not want to compromise and not do that
Grace and empathy, gentleness, patience, why would you include these but look down on submission? Don’t get it confused as in women should just submit immediately or blindly, but the discipline and dedication it takes to do that successfully for your husband is absolutely a feminine strength.
In a transitional and most especially biblical context the woman is definitely called to be submissive towards her husband. Not when it violates the law of God but under any other pretense. If you don’t believe in God then we’ll it doesn’t apply to you. Problem is some of y’all abuse the word submission to mean something else and that’s not what it is.
THATS IMPORTANT TO THOUGH SISTER PRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT. EVERY MAN APPRECIATES A WOMAN THATS SEXY & FEMININE YET STILL HONORABLE NOT WHORISH IN HER DRESS & APPEARANCE.
But still everything he said about femininity had to do with what a woman does for a man and that is not femininity my friend. Reasons why women cannot learn how to be feminine from a man and men can’t learn masculinity from women.
I never realized until I was 29 how masculine I’ve been…. I was raised by an extremely masculine male while my mother struggled with addiction…. Raised up to be brash and braisen, tough, unafraid,unphased. To work and be a provider… noooo crying or sensitivity allowed ..affection to me is vastly different from my friends, I HATE having someone in my bubble or hanging on me and I hate to do that to someone…it’s made every man I loved question if I even like him, because I didn’t know how to give affection like other women…I had to train myself to be a physically affectionate Mother for my daughter because kids need loved on and cuddles, and held… my dad did his veryyy best! But I realized one day in 2019 that every man I’ve dated, eventually traded gender rolls with me. Where I was the provider, the back bone , yadda yadda..and they ended up just sitting around on their phones unsure of what to do because I’d do it for them on my own.eventually they’d quit working,and ended up essentially being a homemaker 😅. I wasn’t holding them to their end of the deal to be the men I wanted them to be , I was doing theirs job! I am straight obviously and that means while yes my divine masculine was ruling, I still craved masculinity, to an extreme almost…I used to say that for me to submit to a man he had to be this , this , and this…. Without realizing… you gotta be feminine and submissive to attracted a very dominant and masculine man. It’s a dance of back and forth but I’m starting to get it. Finally lol
Wow! Same here except it was my mother that instilled the masculinity in me and I now recognize it in the majority of women in my family. I’m almost 54 and alone basically on purpose because I don’t want to be with a “weak” man and that’s all I seem to attract. This is very deep.
@@sohfreetv submitting is NOT negative! Though we’ve been taught that. I’m not sure your age but I know as far as millennials and even Gen X, we’ve been preached at to “never need no man”, and “be independent cause you can’t rely on no man”… that’s sooo incorrect in every way. Being submissive does NOT mean, letting a man walk all over you. It means, allowing him to be his masculine self, and to lead , as he’s biologically designed to do…while we follow that lead or give him the tender affectionate side of us. Being submissive can be as simple as helping your man take his boots off after a long day of work. The only reason I know this is because one day I did that for my “on and off bf” … he literally picked me up and carried me to the damn bedroom. I was like wtf are you doin?! He was like, “that was sooo attractive “ I didn’t ask questions 😅 I just enjoyed it. But another example was , I made his plate for dinner and his drink, just a kind gesture, because he had worked hard all day and I saw how tired he was. He works in a steel mill, FURNACE. Poor man has suit all over him, has sweat all day, just worked harddd… I never thought “oh lemme get him by being submissive “ I just did things to show him that I see and appreciate how hard he works, andddd it turned him on 🤣. He and I never did struggle with gender roles though, our issues are chemical dependency and shit like that. Trauma bonding 😭. He’s the ONLY man that ever made me turn to mush…he’s also 6’4 275…and a steel worker sooo he fits the masculine bill…but submission came fairly easy to me with him which I chalk up to his masculinity. Don’t stay to yourself!! Being submissive and being with a masculine man who’s dominant, truly changes how you see things and gender role. That’s how I even realized that I was overly masculine in all my failed relationships. Sometimes we gotta unlearn what we were taught to make room for what we shoulda been told
What about I don't want you dominating me. Everything he said is concerning him, His feelings just be submissive that's all that's important.Thank God for Mina pause so you can throw submissive out the window. BS like this is why we are by ourselves.
@@deannahamlet9333 sounds like you have selective hearing, that was not what was said nor was it the gist of what he said. Some women hear that word submissive and it just triggers them. These modern women would do anything to get out of being feminine
RReality, I think maybe you need to see the entire video because it didn’t seem to me like those women were listening, it seemed like they were ready to argue. He said “be feminine” and they asked him about his daughter. What the hell is that all about
As a man, I feel that if I've done the work, put in the time, went to therapy, got into shape, I expect the same from my woman. Because it's not fair to expect your partner to be expected to heal you with love, while putting up with tantrums, toxic selfish behavior, ultimatums, emotional abuse, etc. It goes both ways.
Great job on addressing your issues first. It takes a level headed person to do so, I wish everyone else( Men&Women) would do the same. They would get along better.
It is important to heal yourself before getting into a serious relationship anyway. CHILDHood will trauma will surface at the worst times and send the relationship off the rails.
Bro resonated with a lot a women with this one I see …which…. this topic can be very difficult for some to understand ….. take notes fellas … it’s sometimes not what you say but how you say it and how you articulate yourself to get your point across. Well said 👏 I’m sure some chick will say some one hurt him though 🤧
I'm glad to see these young men holding on to the ole school. Been married 26 years and we have tried to show our kids this. They see me be submissive and they have seen their father love me like I'm the only women alive. Being submissive doesn't mean being treated badly. Hell I have all the power lol
@@tonytrinidad4409 😂😂 Quagmire that's funny AF. No sweetheart nothing like that completely left field. You must be young? My power has nothing to do with my puss well maybe some but not like you thinking. You can't have a 27 year marriage and genuinely be happy playing that game. I've been married over half my life we basically grew up together. My power is so much more! What is a women? A women is strong, a women creates life, nurtures life with her body, a women makes a home that her husband is proud of. A women will protect her babies with her life...... I could go on but hopefully you get my point. My women hood is my power I created this home that my man worked so hard for I keep it together without me it all goes to shit. Power of the puss is some hoe shit. Together we have created three generations now. I am surrounded by my kids grandkids and now great grandchildren. That young man is my superpower!
You cant get ANY understanding when your already combative and ready to put someone in their place. NO one wants to put up with a fight at every point. Life is to short.
This brother is speaking from seeking wisdom , I'm the same way, we all have issues , yet everything has to be put into it's perspective place, far too many use pass issues as excuses to be irresponsible in a relationship. I learned how to be a feminine woman coming through my issues and I praise God for pressing through my struggles. Thank u my brother for speaking this truth....
This part. There's a level of maturity that comes with masculinity and femininity because it displays accountability and responsibility without the insecurities, cause anything else comes off as adolescent where an adolescent only understands male and female but not the embodiment of the maturity, roles, responsibilities and spirituality nor foundational principals it's rooted in
Accountability😂 Where? This dude is a “sack -head”… Any Black man in American “believing” HE should not have to care “why” black women have “developed their masculine side”and views this condition as “her issue” is a “little boy- Playing all grown up”, as HE himself is NOT TAKING OWNERSHIP OF BLACK MENS PARTICIPATION IN THAT ALONE! African American women “never” in the history of our relationship to and in America, asked, requested, desired, or facilitated in the removal of black men from the home, and BLACK MEN DONT WANT TO FACE WHY -THEY ACCEPTED THE OPTION TO LEAVE WILLINGLY”… “SACK - HEAD MF”… Black women WAKE UP!
He didn’t have a bad answer, it just wasn’t a good answer for this question. If her issues were being toxic, then I would agree. But in this case, this “masculine energy” is usually necessary for survival for women.
Submissive by God is different from the world. According to God means to support and stand by him. The world definition is to be obedient. God's said have no other God and be obedient to me. Men do not controll women
THIS SHIT IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. Men and women have to work TOGETHER. Imposing all these expectations, labels, and rules on each other is an exercise in absurdity! If your VALUES align, and you share a similar vision, WORK TOGETHER ON THE REST!
But the bases of Majority of Male and Female relationships are based on our biological differences and how they complement each other. Would you be against having to take trash out, mow the yard, fix the cars, so handy things around the house while you are pregnant?…And why is that rule/expectation/label ok, but not his in the video? One other thing. A man proposes to a woman because he has seen her in action and expects her to be a good wife. Just like a woman doesn’t let a man go raw doggy In her unless he has showed that he will be a good father to their future kids. 🤭🤭🤣😂🤣🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
My Dad was the best ! My mom got ill when I was seven - Daddy got me a nail kit at 11 y.o - I would do my nails when he cook dinner. He would tell me put a little lipstick 💄 on brighten yourself up when I was grown going out . He encouraged my tomboy self to embrace my feminine energy. Love you Daddy!
🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯 Absolutely!!!!! At 35, I'm not putting up with the unhealed trauma and I don't expect a man to put up with it either. Nobody even acknowledged what he said, they just went straight on to asking him to explain more stuff. What he said made so much sense!!!!💕💕💕💕
Because it was one sided. He literally said he doesn't care what trauma may have affected a woman to make her less feminine, yet a feminine woman has to do all of this caring and understanding, about his battles and more, which nine times out of ten will include trauma even if it's new. All the things they want, they feel women do not need it as well. If they knew how to offer what they want, I guarantee the state of relationships would be much better overall if they tried that too.
@@PhoenixRise0101 he never said a woman should deal with that. He zclearly said that most women don't deal with that and that he doesn't deal with it either
@@PhoenixRise0101 you can’t hear. You have your feeling ears on instead of your listening ears. What if he already dealt with his trauma, does he still have to deal with your also? A Submissive woman actually gets leeway to have some trauma because her Softness will afford her some grace in his eyes. A Damsel in distress shouldn’t act like a rabid Dog. If she does, it’s hard for the man to know whether to speak softly or put her down like a rabid dog.
Feminine is not about submission, it is energy. Submission is an action and feminine is a energy. I use to be so tapped into my masculine side because i was forced to due to survival. And handling business on my own and not wanting to be taken advantage of . i learned how to tap into my feminine side by changing my mindset and healing my childhood trauma. Now everything i get is basically free. Im receiving love, gifts, free food, front row parking, catching all the green lights. Men are basically chasing me down in my sweat pants and fupa. Its the energy. Not the ego.
@@geraldbouvy1222 Im engaged. This will be my second beautiful marriage. Men will still chase me, buy my Starbucks, pay for my food open my doors, compliment me. Like i said its my energy. I have been proposed to 3 times before i said yes this fourth time. I was not desperate for love and i was tapped into my goddess energy so i was able to decline 3 offers without being afraid of missing out on love. Look at me now. My future husband gives me his whole check because I'm sweet. I hope you find a women that makes you love like that. Take care
@SBUTTER second marriage. Lol. I bet. Well, working on our 21st year of our FIRST MARRIAGE, that has survived army deployments, two adults in nursing school, the death of a child... I don't think you have ANYTHING to teach me, and I wonder who people should listen to: You, bumbing through life, or me, intentionally moving a plan? I know if I wanted to learn how to plumb, I wouldn't ask someone who's house is underwater.
From 21 years of a successful marriage, MARRIAGE IS SUBMISSION. doesn't matter if you are MAN OR WOMAN, OR TWO MEN OR TWO WOMEN, Both submit when the time is appropriate. Yes. Feminine IS SUMBMISSIVE when it is appropriate, BUT there is POWER IN SUBMISSION. women had power BEFORE they could vote, they had power BEFORE they went into the workplace, it was the power over the male heart and mind. A TEAM can only have ONE LEADER at a time. That leader MAY CHANGE, DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES, but it doesn't result from "boss b%^ches" . Again, I wonder who we should listen to: 21 years of marriage,....or "engaged to second husband".
@@thetruthteller33 the thing about the internet is anybody can say anything, and everything you said sounds like 🧢🧢🧢. Girl nobody is chasing you down in sweat pants and a fupa and doing all that for you. Nice fiction story though. Ttyl 😂
Happily chosen to be a Housewife and choose to wear makeup, cook, clean and provide what hubs can't while working. Trust me being a housewife is most definitely a career. I'm blessed we are able to live the lifestyle we chose. Feminists get mad I'm a happy housewife. It's my choice yet they can't support it😵💫
Understanding basking in our feminity isn't about submission to a man It's about knowing who she is And who's she is Making 💯 % of who she is Giving the Best of herself to herself Allows a Man to receive thr Best of what she has to offer(.) You named what she do got a Man (NOT)
They see son, brother, uncle, “ain’t shit”, etc. They don’t redirect you black men. Go get the women that you’re truly free with. Get the woman they try to look like.
One thing I experience on dating apps a lot is women will ask for my number and then suggest a date idea we should do. It instantly turns me off every time. Now modern women today will probably say that it's just her being confident and trying to show she's interested. But all it does is come off as masculine behavior. What I want as a man is to lead and feel her being excited and appreciative of what I'm offering. It really is that simple on how to be a feminine woman. Men act and women follow. 💯
As a women I agree 100000% with what he said. At some point you gotta assess yourself and make those changes it’s not the responsibility of your lover to fix you or put up with your traumas that wasn’t caused by them. 🙏🏽
At the end of the day all this boils down to it's just finding that person that you connect with and are willing to deal with their issues and they're willing to deal with yours. I'm tired of people encountering people that they're meant to encounter but not build a life with and then they want to be mad because they chose to try and build a relationship for somebody that they weren't meant to be in a relationship with. People aren't taking the time to sit down and speak with their partners about what they really want from each other, they'll talk in a group form all day but will not sit down and talk to each other about what they want and don't want what they like and don't like. There is a reason that we were advised to be equally yoked 💜
Exactly! 🤦😅 Instead of listening, she had her response already. She asked if he had a daughter within the first 5 seconds of him talking. That's why he said "My point is this..."
There are men who teach their daughters to be independent women and tell them not to depend on a man, but want the opposite in a spouse. That’s the angle she’s getting at.
Well... if you want a woman who is resting in her femininity and has submitted to you, then she is fully dependent on you for financial support. Having a career is masculine, remember? If you fail to provide, then you have violated the covenant and she has to get gone. She has to move to the next dude quickly, so she can sell her services. Maybe if you had a woman who was able provide for herself and y'all worked to together to achieve your financial goals, she would be more inclined to catch you when you fall a bit. You a know a partnership.
I have seen COUNTLESS women shoulder the burden of emotionally unintelligent men ... patience and understanding are key .... because my husband is a man that didn't have a father, hardly any men in his life, I had to look at the bigger picture and come to realize that we all have STUFF ...none of us come completely healed ... my husband tells me I have helped change his mind set ... patience , decrement, and the removal of pride and EGO is soooo important
That’s all he said!!! And that’s fair!!! I’m confused why we get so upset with people’s preferences?!? I’ve never understood…. The saying is WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER….
And he will be: loving, respectful, loyal, fun, present, protective, a great father & financially responsible etc for the type of woman he just described.
Are you that woman he described? Always focusing on the man. Are you who you need to be for that man?..Not this conditionally stuff! I will only if. You are that or you aren’t not. Men draw to women like that. Real Men!
@@MrRealbrotha Bro, they don’t care what men want even when we tell them what we want. I’m a man in my early 30s from a good home, in shape, making 6 figures, and working remotely for a tech company and some of my brothers are in the same position as I am and others are working their way up. We have been listening to our women demanding 6 figures, so we are here. I’m also demanding all the traditionally feminine things a woman can provide and if I can fine sister here that can provide all nine yards, I’ll get my passport, so I can go abroad look for better options
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 he knocked that shit out da park. Women who speak softly, understanding, cook, clean, keep a house, thats a feminine woman. Be the ying to my yang.
@@XT93343 idgaf what you wanna call it, my wife wanted a man she can cater too and depend on. being submissive in n out the bedroom. I took her from the hood to the burbs. In exchange I take care of her and make her life easier. She has no reason to stress. She doesn't have to raise a daughter on her own because im so involved i coached her soccer team, she drives a infiniti truck because of my hardwork. Brotha, thats not her being a slave...its called appreciation its called a partnership. Im blessed to her and we cater to each other. Hope Allah bestows you with s suck rare gift in this life.
1. when they ask " do you have a son or daughter, they try to start the table turning 2. when they ask what's your definition of....whatever, that's when they try to see if they can fit into you programming
No they’re trying to see if he has proximity to women close to him to where he could empathize if someone said that to them. Because if a man told my daughter “I don’t care about your childhood” I’d tell her to run. Because he’s an extremist. People are only a reflection of their upbringings. It doesn’t mean you find anybody unhealed but everybody comes with SOMETHING including him…
@@KariFromTH-cam I would tell my daughter the opposite. I would tell her no matter what happened in the past you have 3 options. 1) let it make you bitter/a worst version of yourself 2) remain unchanged 3) learn from it to become a better person Ultimately he is right. It's not necessarily about not caring about what happened in your past it's about not letting it turn you into #1 then using that as an excuse for why you are the way you are presently which is what women are taught with the "take me as I am" while men are taught to "man up" (which is basically #3) because the hard things make it easier to deal with adversity in the future. This is why we need both parents in the home.
No, because people don't know the definitions of words and people operate off of definitional assumptions. So when I ask you what the definition of the word is, that's at least the starting point for understanding. For example, the word submission means to bend to the will of another by force. But every time men ask for submission, you I want to pretend that that's not what the word means. Then throw up the surprise pikachu face when women are aghast
We both need healing bfr and and after a relationship and it's definitely nothing wrong with teaching the opposite sex some of the simple things in life we take advantage of or grew up with. If you can teach love and understand each other to be better as a WHOLE -then by all means do it y'all. Being humane is FREE!!😇🙌
Preach!!! Yup when a man comes with issues , to a woman it's move along. When they come with their baggage and issues, a man has to accommodate and be understanding and sympathetic to them!
@@PerfectContradiction women ain’t bend shit. Men build society are the main income and fight all the wars. You need to realize all you did was your half stop letting msm trick into “independence” and bs like that
@@Shanard242 I have issues that need to be addressed to heal my feminity,and I agree ,I must do the work and I deserve the process of self love and healing and to present the most feminine version of myself for my future mate.I also say one way women can heal their masculinity is by not caring when men are broken because we do to a level of enabling men so many times even have friends and family that have put in application's for their man or work their butt off while their men stay home.
Sounds like a mature person he’s describing. I’ve been accused of being masculine. By men that were lazy and didn’t want to work and left me to pick up the slack. Then I remembered my daddy telling me “I’m not raising you to take care of a man that refuses to be a man.” Then I get my daddy energy and get them up and out. My husband now likes to work. I still love my career and love to work. My husband has my respect and get all the thing your talking about. My people are so lost and confused we have a lot of healing to do both men and women. I’m not a masculine woman I’m a virtuous woman that rises to the occasion.
Being masculine and unbalanced is why women like yourself pick the kind of men you do. Your dad said he didn't raised you to take care of a man. You either need to be more feminine so you can select the right kind of mate, or you needed to tell your dad that you are grown and thats who you chose to pick.☺️ Your lack of accountability let you to believe he is lazy. You knew him before you pick him. I'm sure he told you on multiple occasions what he was and wasn't going to do. But you being masculine thing I can do it myself until you got tired. Even your dad's has to remind you that you are the problem.
Same problem for me, I make more but I don’t feel how much you make equates to being submissive. I want to be submissive for my man, but the energy he gives, the laziness, the bossiness he gives makes it hard to submit, I want to submit but be heard too.
I learned a little late but I finally got it! It's okay to walk & live in my femininity as a powerful woman and not be so masculine in my vocal/body language. But, when I dated or linked- up with a different kind of man, it pushed me to play a masculine role. Now, I've learned how to balance & allow my man to "man me."
well you don't fully have it because it's no need to balance anything you can do literally anything productive as a woman in your femininity. I don't understand why women can't understand that being feminine is your superpower you can damn near get a man to do anything if you come with feminine energy. for example women actually believe strippers get man to throw all their money sometime even going broke just because they're showing a naked body. but in reality that same man has seen other women naked and had sex and would never give them all his cash. if women actually pay attention to how the women interact and talk with the man before and after they start dancing they are extremely feminine and that's the real reason how a woman at the strip club can get a man to give her his entire paycheck. literally have him eating out the palm of her hand. hell I have seen strippers make a man get on his knees and bark like a dog lol
Your trauma isn’t always your fault but it’s always your responsibility
Oh my days! That is so true!
HMMMM!!!!!! You got me with this one :)
True
Word! They have my sympathy but it’s not the world’s burden to make it “safe” for them. It’s their cross to bear.
A person that loves you will help you carry that load as well
Everyone should resolve personal issues before entering a relationship
Hello, how are they going to solve it when they don't even realize they have one
Facts 💯
Amen 🙏🏾
agreed💯💯...if you need help,go to a therapist!!
@@232rock right & it’s nobody’s job but your own to identify and rectify your personal problems. Whether it being through a therapist or some ppl are fortunate enough to have close friends/family who’s honest about your shortcomings.
I love a man that can handle himself and hold his own. He wasn't even combative about it
Not at all
Because they were definitely provoking him with some of those responses ..
Yes he clearly articulated his views, which made sense. Deal with it or move on.
Exactly
These men know a lot about femininity.
And this is def why we should heal before entering a relationship. It is no one's responsibility to heal u but urself. He is speaking truth. We can't expect something we ain't putting out ourselves
We can help each other heal. We would all be single if we had to heal before getting into a relationship.
@@thetruthteller33 def can agree just feel some parts are ur responsibility but def agree
@@jenniferrivera8627 yes we are responsible and at some point in time for our own healing and happiness, sometimes we just need help crossing that bridge. I wish we felt more responsible for helping each other, the world would be a better place.
@@thetruthteller33 agree with that. Of many more ppl cared the world would be a happier healthier place. We can be that change a person at a time. With just showing compassion, listening n show love.
In toxic culture they don’t thinking healing is necessary just start a new cycle of toxicity with the next “relationship” while at the same time pretending to uphold traditional expectations in their relationships lol. Sad but true
The spirit of division is running rampant in our community. We refuse to work together and help each other heal. It’s sad 😞 It’s spiritual warfare and many don’t see it.
Well the Lord is raising these boys back into men now. Men are taking their rightful place as leaders again, because change in the blk community starts with men setting themselves in order and as women see this, they will naturally want to follow good, responsible , accountable, hard working men
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Yeppp
Thank you for sensing that 🙏🏾
Again, why should he help you heal? He’s not a therapist. Go see a therapist. stop making excuses for your bad decisions and blaming it on your troubled past
Facts, I don't get into a relationship to be a therapist. Facts bro.
Omg I swear, Real Facts
Absolute facts!!!!!
But life is ups and downs. We are never perfect, but I hear too much trauma you need to be alone
Well damn don't let yo women go through some shit mentality because you can't help her
@@rocbaby23 nope
In other words, handle the childhood luggage before traveling into an adult relationship so that you bring your best self into it without weighing yourself and another down.
Amen 🙏🏾!!!
So true....so true.
That sounds good whe. The man does the same thing and his attitude shows he hasn't dealt with his. The only thing he can say is submit but that's a two way street according to the Bible.
@@sweettreatsoverload4296 I’m really confused on when women became the only ones with baggage? These men run around damaged as hell. He is one man, so he should speak for the woman he wants to receive. Not the whole of black women.
💯💯💯💯💯
I can respect this. An honest man who has no time to take on pain he is unable to heal.
What?!? That is what you heard?!? My god.
Perfect translation.He essentially said, I can’t heal your trauma, therefore I will not take on your baggage. That is a wise man.
They stopped arguing once he said “you wouldn’t care if I was 38 with excuses”
Damn
FACTS
Who was arguing? Seem to me that they were engaged in communication. No one raised their voice nor were there any charged emotions. Before y’all come for me lol I absolutely agree with what he is saying. Men are not afforded the same emotional sensitivity as women. This is due to society telling men to stuff down their emotions. Not a healthy practice! We have got to make room for men to feel without judgement! Likewise, we have to stopped labeling women who articulate a different perspective as aggressive, masculine and difficult. Bottom line is that there is a lot of unlearning, compassion and healing that needs to take place on both sides of the fence to move forward!
They say 50% of women will be single by 2030 I see that number going higher by the way women in the comments will rather sell there soul to a career that don’t care about them than have a family. So when men go live overseas with better women don’t start complaining.💯👍🏻
@@SoulRhealit's not society. It's women that say men can't express their emotions, especially when it comes to negative emotions that need to be expressed in order to be controlled. You can’t control something you never let out.
Men are not women. We express things in different ways. Women want to turn men into women. That's the whole point we want to avoid.
Whenever women say men should be able to express their feelings, it's always about certains feelings that they choose, not all, and in certain ways that women like. It's not about men at all.
@@SoulRheal I guess you could say they just went silent as soon as they heard the truth they couldn’t deny!
What I love is that he knows what he wants.
He said it correctly. He definitely said what it means to be a feminine woman. She knows how to speak life into a man and submit and bast in her femininity. She knows how to be accountable and etc. This is excellent. This is what I taught mine.
No. He know what he don’t want. What all men don’t want. You just looking at him like some candy but he speaking for all of us. Don’t come with your past drama.
A mother because most of those things his mom should’ve done I bet he’s insecure
Exactly
We all do but women don’t care , we all want the same thing give or take a few minor things
I actually agree with him. We ALL need to do the work from the inside out and come into relationships whole and healed. Men AND women.
No. Just women. Heal thyself, if u can and STOP opening up for pookies to 🏃♂️ thru. Easy. Simple.
Facts! Everyone needs to clean up their own side of the street. And if y'all ain't ready for a relationship, stop playing with people until you heal yo shi!
Absolutely
Facts.
THAT PART!!!
Amen
Exactly! Fix yourselves
This was treasure taken out of the trunk, we must heal when we are broken from another relationship so you don't bring that baggage in the next one.
He doesnt see a woman as his equal. He needs to be the MAN! You dont know how to love, you want an arrangement
I get that. And I wholeheartedly agree. My issue is that no one has clearly answered what a masculine woman looks like. I get adjectives like loud and independent. So women should strive to be quiet and look to others to take care of them. It's just another ignorant train that we're deciding to ride in my opinion.
Absolutely!
@@xannaxanna9854 That’s what you got out of that?
🗣 SPEAK @sonyarivers9914!!!!!
That last one! Picking battles is key. A lot of times you have to handle things quietly, with a gentle spirit. Not everything is worth fighting over. Then when you do choose something important to fight about, you will be taken seriously and listened to. The last thing you should want is to be contentious or quarrelsome. That will drive men away so fast!
This is something I wish I would’ve learned sooner
Yeah most women don't know this, and they want to compete with a man and argue over nonsense.
@@beyondthesacrosanctbreeze I can see that for some women fs but I definitely was just too ignorant to what being combative was, I’m just too literal and wouldn’t let things go. I had to do some reflection on that one and final understood what choosing your battles meant. “Is being right worth being lonely?”
@@anequa13 Why is there this undeniable urge to be right? I honestly don't understand where this arrogance comes from. How is this a unanimous trait for most women? It's just mind boggling to me that across the board most women today think they are ALWAYS right. We all know we can't be always right and everyone makes mistakes, and that nobody is perfect, but for whatever reason some women think they are perfect and always right. Talk about conceited. How can someone like that have any friends or relationships whatsoever?
@@beyondthesacrosanctbreeze Perspective 🤷🏾♀️ not everyone is able to see things from others view. Not because they don’t want to but because they don’t have the ability. No one’s perfect 👀 right?
When choosing a partner, it is not my responsibility to fix them. It is my responsibility to decide if they are compatible with me. Broken people hurt people. I dont desire to bring those problems in my inner circle
Whoever ends up w/u will always have problems bc of how you see situations. You shouldn’t even view it as your responsibility to fix someone. It’s a bad starting place. We all need fixing at the end of the day including you bc no one has it fully together. It is your responsibility to love someone though, and if it’s a lifelong partner it’s for better or worse, through thick and thin. Plus how do you measure a person’s compatibility to yours? No 2 people are the same not to mention, if y’all fit according to your measure what if you don’t stack up to theirs? See what I mean. It’s an unending cycle when you think like that.
She was quick to deflect before he could even finish his sentence. Some people get so uncomfortable with the truth. Just sit down and absorb it
No, she wasn't going to sit there listening to a man with a weak psyche run game. If he needs that much reassuring he should work on that before considering a relationship with anyone.
It’s the truth but he’s seems very cold. Just an observation.
He doesn't have any compassion or empathy, quite cold!!
@@leescruggs4476 he knows what he wants that's all ...dosent mean he needs reassurance it's simple as if you can't get with his perspective then move on. He wasn't argumentative or combative but he also said it's the same for a woman who knows what they want in a man. You made a good point tho!
@@carolynnavarre8147 I always hear this from women. The tone, the compassion, etc. But I think it’s all an excuse to keep playing dumb. If he said it any gentler women would ignore it. Sometimes a man had to be blunt and to the point so women can’t squirm away and ignore it. Its like weight. Sometime men will approach their women with all the compassion, understanding, gentle, and address her weight gain. But because he did it so soft and gentle she thinks it’s not that serious and will continue “trying” but not really. Until he gets fed up and says something blunt and cruel and hurts he feeling but it snaps her out of her daze.
Submitting to your husband simply means he will shoulder your burdens with you or for you. It actually frees you from anxiety, stress, and doubt and has nothing to do with control or domination over the wife. Let him help and lead you.
No
@@Michael-tl2fv Then suffer the burden alone.
Let him help and lead you, if He knows how to lead, hence if he doesn't His going to have to carry your last name instead of you carrying his. Because that also is a burden. Let's talk the truth, if From the start He doesn't care about you or your situation. What is going to happen 3 to 6 month from now? This is why people, Di- -- Worse. Hmm you married the the- vorce man. Hello. Think about it. Before you married you got to know that if he gets out His not going to take your children or to give you hell, for them!!!
There's many things to talk about before getting to married to this guy, here's nine things that He mentioned that is important. Who's going to pass that; most likely when he gets there. I see another person in jail. After being "set up" his setting up his paths...
Sorry but that's where this guy's go to hell and back
Beautifully said.
Wisdom and simplicity...love it..Nailed it
Sometimes the realest thing you can say to someone is I don't care
Correction. The best thing you can say is IDGAF! 🤣🤣🤣
@@TrulyAGhost it was for the lulz
That's not real That's not caring if I lived or sick. He wants a insecure woman. She is going to be abuse mentally or physically. One bad day he is going to beat her cheat on her or ignore her.
@@jewelparham9577 Here is your problem... every good woman is an insecure woman to you... learn to be a woman... you'll realise you are the one who is insecure.
@@jewelparham9577 304 please. smh. 🤡
I am a Masculine woman. My father died at 10 years old. My mother had 5 girls and we all had to protect each other. Every man I had was shocked how I could be romantic and masculine at the same time. Help and protect him, pay bills, buy cars and still love him. I did this from a young girl but because I lost my father, I respect and love good men like my father was.
But you have respect men
Paying bills and doing things for yourself does not make you a masculine woman.
You are not masculine. You are a Boss ass Woman! Period. Handling your business instead of waiting for a man to come pick up the pieces when you can do that yourself makes you an accountable woman that any good man should be attracted to as a partner. Just be careful that you don’t get a man who feels like “she’s got a lot to offer - I’ll just ride on her dime”.
Question to educate myself from your experience. Do you feel a masculine lady can be born that way or only derive from situations that happen in her life.
Also would you entertain a guy that vacillate between masculine and feminine?
Sorry for the loss of your father especially at such a critical age.
Key phrase every man you were with. In other words it doesn't work in the end.
Why, because you're masculine.
There can only be one masculine party in a relationship.
Wow that's the best definition and explanation I've heard a man articulate since 2020 when this topic became a part of the algorithm. I'm really impressed how mature he answered and the no nonsense in his voice. HE DID THE WORK! HE KNOWS HIS WORTH! If you want a man of his brain weight you have to do the same. I would love to hear his point of view on many subjects. Definitely a man to learn from in many ways.
Blessings Queen
💫✨✨
Well said.
I don't believe feminine means being submissive
@ericbolden4736 No one said that, but it is clear you have a problem with that word submissive, and it's also clear why, on this planet Earth, black women are the highest!! single women, not just that over all other races, put together!! Your still are higher and not by a little % , That's a GOT DAMN SHAME 😳 and you most likely are one of them to. Smmfh! 🤕
My Daddy raised me to be a strong, Independent woman. More importantly, he raised me to act like a Lady that appreciates a good man.
He is a smart, good, Godly man.
Do you have a man now? Do you treat him right? Are you submissive?
He just didn't want you to be dependent
Look up the word interdependent.
Absolutely. Our grandparents taught us the same way.
Love how he stated his points without stuttering or backing down
Exactly
I used to fight against the “submitting to your man” mindset but in reality it just means you ALLOW your man to be A MAN TO YOU. It actually feels good to ask your man for help or make him feel wanted and needed even if you’re just doing it to make him feel good.
This in turn makes your man want to take care of you and makes him feel valued and respected. It’s not about being his doormat. Once the woman accepts her femininity she allows her man to fully step into his masculinity--this is where the MAGIC of reciprocal respect comes in.
It’s actually refreshing
Most men know nothing about the law of reciprocity. They want it so one way. A woman cannot stop a man from being masculine. Most men define feminist as needing the woman to let him make all the decisions with NO!! Accountability.
Allow?
How is that submission? Y’all changing definitions now to fit your narratives. Being a submissive woman means you are weak, meek and LITERALLY are subject to the will of someone else. Asking your husband to help with something isn’t being fucking submissive. Y’all are so weird.
Please say this louder for the ladies in the back who do not understand what submissive means......
Ok pale girl
It’s not about man or woman. It’s about humans being kind to other humans, connecting, and supporting each other.
Thank you ❤
Right
Wrong
That sounds good in theory.
however we still must recognize feminine men and masculine woman are undesirable to normal people.
This man cleared the bases. Hit a grand slam out of the park. Well spoken. Can I get a Amen 🙏.
Amen.
My grandparents were married for 62 years. I asked both what the key to their longevity was. My Nanny said to accept his flaws and learn to love them like you love the good things about him. She said to work at it every day. Sometimes you have to work harder than your partner and vice versa. My Paw Paw said to pick your battles. He said to marry a man who would pick his also. He told me he learned as they got older, to let Nanny win most of them, because in the end it wasn't that important. Her smile was more important than a stupid argument victory
But he is right😊
Powerful!!!!!
TYSM for sharing these tips. ❤🙏🏾
I'm older than your grandpa and I would tell you that exact same thing. Believe it and live by it.
@@stefanie4514 times may be different, but human nature is the same. Wisdom will always stand the test of time. You may have to tweak it a little bit, but the principles remain the same. This is no different.
And this is why my husband put a ring on my finger after 7mths.. About to celebrate 7yrs in February and still happy every time I see him walk through the door!
Wow congratulations!! So for other woman that’s out her feminine, work & take care of home and maybe some no kids what’s our problem. Happy for you but bragging hmmm
@@danalinsey5544 Nobody is bragging.. Making a comment isn't bragging. I don't understand what you mean by, "out her feminine," can you explain what you mean? Thanks hon..
Okay your not bragging (statement).Nothing you are good got out a bad relationship and did feminism things still doing just a whole lot independent. I compromise but nothing on his behalf. Be blessed sister enjoy your marriage!! Much respect
That's wonderful!!!
@@elmyra.jackson No disrespect to you to by being off topic, lol... I just wanted to say, you are so beautiful!!!! ❤️🤗❤️
I actually would care, because I care about you as a human! It’s called empathy and a lot of people “men and women” lack it!
Mostly chicks lack it
A man can show empathy to any random chick.
A woman has to know someone first to show any kind of empathy.
I don't care.
@@kriztoppamostly men
@@ubedetcongrats 🥂 🎉
The individuals who have not address those issues bring those problems in to a relationship. And that broken individual inflicts more problem
He's a narcissist straight up!
FACTS!
💯🎯📌
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Pin this comment please!
It doesn't get anymore clear and direct than this. Pure honesty and it's gonna go in one ear and out the other.
Hahaha 🤣😂🤣 Facts 💯 and the really funny part is the so-called educated women don't see it or refuse to see it
They IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO DEFLECT AND DETRACT WHEN TOLD THEM HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THEIR EXSCUSES.
This is true of any topic. People that don’t want to learn simply won’t learn. Those who do will listen and learn.
He made it easy to understand. I would not want to be with a feminine man, wouldn’t even entertain it. Just not attractive to me. So I understand where he’s coming from.
@@tmack281man honesty is now a crime
Here’s a secret: HEAL before entering a relationship!!! 🧘🏼♀️
Not ur first relationship or just little kid flings but when you’re old enough to acknowledge your trauma, it should be followed by doin something about not letting it run ur future
@Kush Hazard amennnnn!! But, when ur in that mindset you literally don’t have the ability to comprehend that..my personal opinion is people need to go through the motions in order to get to that turning point ..granted there’s a fine line as to what that point is bc everyone’s different but if I didn’t go through every bit of hell I’ve been through I wouldn’t think and behave the way I do so, many ppl HAVE TO go through sht before they advance bc we were all there ; but yes SO MANY ppl love excuses for everything and anything not everyone’s built like us..and negative Nancy, sobbing sally, pity party Patrick, and complaining Connor become intolerable once you’ve advanced lol my problem now is I’m tooo empathetic and when ppl vent I can’t help but to see myself beggin for someone to care so I try to give the benefit of the doubt but it’s so important to be able to decipher who’s ventin for support n who’s complainin and makin excuses ! ESP nowadays ppl are so weak lol
I love this because it's exactly what I was thinking, not just in the terms of men&women but how maturity starts to become involved when your talking about the union of unbalanced energies
@@neoQueenusagijobuTupaki amen! And, (I’m still a little new at this but..) it’s literally a whole new world and the way you approach things and see sht is WAY different! I actually had a crazy dream and I was running around telling ppl they only have 3 months left to have a spiritual awakening or they’ll be stuck in that mindset forever it was crazy lol
Was going to write this and saw your comment. As a woman who healed from past trauma the resulted in me having masculine energy due to having to fight most of my life, I approve this message. There nothing quite like healing and walking in Devine femininity ❤
@@ll4519 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 there’s nothing better than someone who has looked in the mirror, embrace, owned up, felt, did work, and put their best foot forward everyday! 👏🏻👏🏻
I love everything about this. I once was a “masculine” woman myself and it was honestly very stressful living in that state. Being able to tap into my femininity has allowed me to enjoy life in a totally new way and I wouldn’t change it for the world. He’s a real one
He’s unrealistic, insecure and egotistical. He needs a woman to submit to him like a puppy in order to feel like a man. He literally listed a whole list of what makes a woman “feminine,” among them being “understanding to a man” and “being reasonable” and “nurturing,” meanwhile, I’m sure he does nothing emotionally for her in order to warrant this kind of perfection he’s expecting .
"you need to resolve your issues"
Comeback: you got a daughter?
They always try to spin it. Always trying to deflect. As if me having a daughter is an excuse for your behavior. Trying to touch on my emotions.
@@smhunney8266not excuse but I know you don’t have a child.
@@smhunney8266 they're so used to getting away with those childish games. Zero accountability. Leave em in the streets where they belong. 🗑️
🤦🏾♂️
Exactly. Bitches have selective hearing only to have a response. Then go back and ask dumb questions but can't process intelligent answers.
THANK YOU MY BROTHER !!!!! Women need to do the internal work just as much as the man ….. I completely agree !!!!!!
With as many self-help books, how to videos, and everyday societal pressures on women, do you really believe that women aren’t constantly working on themselves? Maybe not, but all I ever see are books, etc. geared towards women being better moms and wives.
100% Truth!!! Coming from a married women… 1 husband w/ over 20+ yrs. invested in my high school sweetheart and 5 children. We’ve fallen in love in every new chapter of lives. Put our relationship in Gods hands and married in the church. We’re one strong Catholic family. My husband still looks at me the day we met and vice versa. We didn’t get lucky. It takes 100% on both sides. We’re blessed because you gotta put in the effort on both sides. Submissive doesn’t mean disrespect. Submit to each of your roles and the home runs smoothly.
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Submission=subordinate. So women are relegated to a subservient position just for being female? Yeah, you just keep submitting hun. So ridiculous. Submission to a man for life in a number 2 co-pilot position to another human being for your entire life. What a joke. I really hope you don't have any daughters.
Agreed! Well said sir! 🙌🏽 That's correct- a woman looking for a relationship would not enter into one with a feminine man. The tables were turned and the ladies didn't like it and can't explain that answer away.
*Lol, "You have a daughter" they always try to use kids as a pawns either to get shit or neglect their accountability, actions, or bad decisions.*
jus ask them samw sht do u have a son? Use “ mirror effect”
Well it's just so absurd it's mind boggling....men don't deflect like that we don't go that low with that type of stupidity
Maybe y'all should just date each other cause women can't win 🙃
@@quaycarter5090 No, l just won't date you and you alike.
And the statistics numbers are saying that a lot of Black men are doing the same.
Yrah theu did that...and im a woman and cant stand closed minded wannbe strong women like this...they proably all single with a good weave tech
Everybody tryn to be heard instead of tryn to understand.... It's sad where we are 2day. Everything in life is upside down. Hopefully one day positivity n understanding will prevail. 🙏🏾 Blessings 2 us all
❤
Thank you! They are all after clicks and opportunity.
@@chocolateccm1493 yea we all got hurts n traumas n past ways that we have to get loose from. If we ain't growing we ain't flowing. Everybody wants traditional but chasing the American dream at the same time. It don't work like that. What is "modern traditional?" I just made that up, but I guess that's the balance we looking for.
@@ohenrico17acr92 appreciate it
Society told people that their feelings/problems are important for so long that many people forgot others have feelings/problems as well
interrupts and says “u got a daughter?”….😂proved his point
@Janese724 in my experience some modern women are only wanna feminine when it suits them … for example money , they want a “partnership” in every decision with a man except spending money…. for some reason modern women wanna be traditional only in that function. So when men see this rah rah outspoken women , they ask them why aren’t theirs resources and abilities as big as her mouth. Nothing worse than a disagreeable verbose women that wants a one-sided parasitic relationship
Its same thing as a broke emotional man asking for a girly women
Didn’t mean a damm thing. Women for some reason like to equate the important women in your life to them, like they’ve earned stripes in your life. My mama and daughters are NOT you
Literally the inability to sit back and let him finish a thought. It immediately gives me a headache when ppl do this.
@@brandonparks8543 That's not why women say that. We're making the point that since most men think like this that means the men your mother and daughter encounter will treat them with the same disrespect and disregard that you dish out. If men can't respect women who aren't related to them then it's inevitable that your loved ones will be disrespected as well. Men rarely have the foresight to think about these things.
@@4u2cre8 that has to be the dumbest thing I ever heard how on Earth is a man saying he wants a feminine woman being disrespectful?
I love this. He doesn’t seem arrogant about what he means or with a bad attitude. I respect that.
I just want you to know that you're the type of girl that most men will see as higher quality. well done.
its his aproach n tone
You should respect the content of what is being said regardless of the manner in which it is being said. One shouldn't have to pander to you in order to accept good advice. That's why there has probably been a plethora of knowledge coming across your way that you rejected simply because you dislike the person.
Look at the content rather than the character.
I can almost guarantee that you're going to reject my advice simply because I'm coming off as a bit arrogant and aggressive😂
This needed to be said. 💯 I’m tired of hearing the women being masculine excuses. It’s ok if u masculine just get you a feminine man and call it a day.
How many women want a feminine women
@@8118davidwilliams thats the point. If they don't want a feminine man, women shouldn't be masculine.
@@8118davidwilliams the lesbians would want one I guess
I love when my sisters are woke. Because many women don't like the way he reacted. Don't wanna admit the point he makes.
He gave her gold, but I know she didn't hear any of it.
Edit: Thanks for the likes, kings, and queens! Shout-out to all the real Queens who actually heard & understood what this guy was talking about and didn't get triggered in the comments💯😭🤣🐐
But she didn't have too Im single not subm to noone
@@ermalovette2075 sounds like you have alot of really short relationships, alot of sex tools or you masterbate alot. Cooperation is another name for submission..Case: I told you I like it when you wear high heel shoes but you keep buying sandals..point: cooperation or separation.what your heard:you say I cant wear high heels all the time. He didnt say all the time...do you get it ?
@@MrDupperman well u don't know me n I don't have short relationship I'm not even n one I like being n control of my relationships that's why I don't get n one unless I want n I don't care if it last nothing last long nowadays ppl not into love no more they into lust n I love me more then anything I didn't read nun but about one sentence so you have a great day I know I am single n peaceful
@@ermalovette2075 poor thing, Your young when you grow up and older you'll understand....nobody want to be alone it goes against your female nature...You life, or a lack of...season greetings.......alone, bye bye
@@MrDupperman baby I got good greetings I God God n family I'm going spend time with your life still go on with or without a MAN lol ppl thts married unhapoy then single ppl they out here cheating on you seasons greetings God loves you
Say that louder got those in the back!! The brother is on point
👂👂
Phrase is played out
@@familybusiness1417 Exactly
@@Juice49-80 The point is the brother speaking facts.......played out or not........
An emotionally mature self confident male would care, be respectful and acknowledge your wounds, your growth and give you the space to heal understanding it is your growth journey as he also heals from his own with the same respect, acknowledgement and peace given on both sides.
Would love to see the whole set... bet they weren't expecting him to have a whole definition, which he explained precisely 💚
He explained how to control a woman, and his narrative is his key to do it.
Sorry that was not precisely explained . It just sounded good to you
no he didnt
@@marewaltwms1 I bet a bunch of money your single and will never be married.
@@missjewells5063 well your nobody’s wife. 🤣
If both partners know how to communicate and be there for the other depending on what's needed in that moment. You're golden. Doesn't matter whose expressing more emotion or more "dominance/control" it can go a whole lot easier if you consider eachother throughout
THAT PART!
Agree
Lord finally!!!! A decent comment.
Exactly!!! That's why I'm 25yrs in and STILL happy with the beautiful,black,man I chose!!! He's still my ❤!!!
That’s true but attraction shifts over time and these 304s ain’t loyal 😂
True!! Both partners should be working on their own subconscious baggage, negative traits and both working together in a relationship. It shouldn't ever be one sided. Each partner should know that they are loved, appreciated, cared for and a team. Otherwise, there's no point in being together. Find someone who really matches your efforts and energy! One who will never do you wrong!
He said none of that. He said he is not dealing with masculine women. Nobody asked him to handle their issues. But some trauma makes women hard. Because we have to man up and do sht on our own. So we don’t deal with liars, or bs, we go get what is needed. We don’t NEED permission or approval from men. ( Don’t NEED it, we do sometimes want it though) He’s allowed to date who he wants but he’s looking for a Mommy in ruffles. Nobody is putting up with him for too long. Court Jesters cannot be kings. And kings respect differences, they build. They fix. They support their people. Not just the Queen they admire. Stop dating these chauvinistic masochistic ego driven, lacking in self awareness ass boys.
People not perfect someone will always do someone wrong in some kind of way you probably meant to say and be loyal accountable and everything else the brother said on the video
I’m a black woman and I wholeheartedly approve this message ❤🇨🇦
It's a simple message baby. But some how a lot of women not understanding.
You also are representing the Canadian flag. You must be a sweet person.
Yessss
Yess!
Yessssss Queen !!!!
This is why men will have kids with any woman and women will have kids with any man. Ppl need to be properly vetted so you KNOW what type of person and personality you are dealing with. Set your boundaries and standards if you must but you HAVE TO CARE about those things they define characteristics of a person. For example I don’t want to date someone who is resentful of his mother and has not healed past it/ actively working to heal past it because that can be harmful to me long term in many ways
I say this alllllllllll the time. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
All mothers aren't good mothers, what happens when the mother hates the father of her offspring and takes it out on the child? Cut out that women are perfect and have no stains in character, Daddy issue affect them more than the young boys usually
Most bm resent there mothers. So based on your comment, u should be leaving most bm alone
@@emg.9246 According to what source?
@@reallydoe6061 literally no where in my comment is this discussed I am acknowledging what the gentleman said in the video about “not caring”about ppls traumas and what’s happened to them in the past. I also acknowledged both genders in shared responsibility for knowing who they’re with. Ppl don’t resent ppl for no reason. Please work on your comprehension and critical thinking skills
Happy Holidays✨🙌🏽
This guy nailed it. Choose your battles, as my dad says.
He's right. I was raised by my single dad and my dad didn't have sons so he just raised me like a son - I can cook, clean and keep a house and manage my finances and do everything including fix things around the house and car but I can't ever play the helpless female role and many men can't cope with that. I don't act like a man, I dress feminine and sexy but I don't know how to be weak. I argue with logic over emotion and stand my ground, I don't nag, I don't beg because that's how my dad raised me. So I guess I have masculine traits. I can't cope with a feminine man - and although men deny it, there's a lot of men who whine, nag and are emotionally weak. I can't deal with that.
I agree sister
I have a friend raising his daughter and he is similar to your Dad and they are great men. I have been raised by a single mother and can and do those great things, but this dude… nah …..he got issues…
Dang you describe me to a T only difference is I'm the baby and only girl, mother passed when I was 3 father never remarried so I was the only female in the house my father made me practice walking in hills on top everything else you mentioned!
Everything 💯
Shouldn't have to
When I was too much in my masculine energy (I survived war among other things) my marriage and friendships suffered. I was angry all of the time. My best friend stopped me one day and asked me “why do you talk to yourself like that” and at first I didn’t get it. What it boiled down to was I was angry within and it was coming out towards others. I went 100% healing my own issues. I was the common denominator in all my issues. I had to fix me. Because of that, my life became better. My marriage is stronger and my kids are thriving. My friendships that remained are the good ones and the bad friends are gone. Femininity is power. I’m so glad my friend called me out and I listened.
At least you LISTENED
Preach bruh!!!
Those that are not listening are out there playing emotional games with the ...you have a daughter or sister card.
Their ego is drowning them. But they will never see themselves as the problem.
@@apachekafka773 you clearly don’t know what your talking about 🤦🏽♂️
What made you decide to listen? Was it because you noticed your life was crumbling or was it just the delivery of what your friend said to you? Or…?
lawwd. if a man is loyal, his request is never a problem 💕enjoy the holiday weekend. Bye.
Woman control access to sex..men control access to relationship..If you cooperate his request shouldn't be a problem not if he does what you want. Case:
Yea ok 👍🏽 😅 keep believing that
Men's loyalty and women's loyalty are 2 different things. But obviously you talking about it from your perspective.
@@smhunney8266 if so what are those? and men don't want to compromise on women's behalf yall know women mostly see being loyal as not sleeping withbother women and being faithful yall do not want to compromise and not do that
@@smhunney8266 so what do men see as loyal and why don't they take the way women see as loyal into consideration
Femininity isn’t about submissiveness ffs. It’s about grace, elegance, emotional empathy, gentleness, compassion, patience etc.
Its definitely about submission as well.
Grace and empathy, gentleness, patience, why would you include these but look down on submission? Don’t get it confused as in women should just submit immediately or blindly, but the discipline and dedication it takes to do that successfully for your husband is absolutely a feminine strength.
THANK U all they keep saying is submit.
In a transitional and most especially biblical context the woman is definitely called to be submissive towards her husband. Not when it violates the law of God but under any other pretense. If you don’t believe in God then we’ll it doesn’t apply to you. Problem is some of y’all abuse the word submission to mean something else and that’s not what it is.
All those traits you listed allows you to be submissive 😂
Roles matter! When people don't understand their role, confusion creeps in and destroys any goodness.
which roles
Yes!!!
Everything he said has nothing to do with a skirt or makeup.. I love this
THATS IMPORTANT TO THOUGH SISTER PRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT. EVERY MAN APPRECIATES A WOMAN THATS SEXY & FEMININE YET STILL HONORABLE NOT WHORISH IN HER DRESS & APPEARANCE.
@@W4R_pOP3._718 that's not what I'm saying... What I meant by that was that wasn't his first go to...
But still everything he said about femininity had to do with what a woman does for a man and that is not femininity my friend. Reasons why women cannot learn how to be feminine from a man and men can’t learn masculinity from women.
But none of what he said defined FEMINITY. Those are his WANTS.
I never realized until I was 29 how masculine I’ve been…. I was raised by an extremely masculine male while my mother struggled with addiction….
Raised up to be brash and braisen, tough, unafraid,unphased. To work and be a provider… noooo crying or sensitivity allowed ..affection to me is vastly different from my friends, I HATE having someone in my bubble or hanging on me and I hate to do that to someone…it’s made every man I loved question if I even like him, because I didn’t know how to give affection like other women…I had to train myself to be a physically affectionate Mother for my daughter because kids need loved on and cuddles, and held… my dad did his veryyy best! But I realized one day in 2019 that every man I’ve dated, eventually traded gender rolls with me. Where I was the provider, the back bone , yadda yadda..and they ended up just sitting around on their phones unsure of what to do because I’d do it for them on my own.eventually they’d quit working,and ended up essentially being a homemaker 😅.
I wasn’t holding them to their end of the deal to be the men I wanted them to be , I was doing theirs job!
I am straight obviously and that means while yes my divine masculine was ruling, I still craved masculinity, to an extreme almost…I used to say that for me to submit to a man he had to be this , this , and this….
Without realizing… you gotta be feminine and submissive to attracted a very dominant and masculine man.
It’s a dance of back and forth but I’m starting to get it. Finally lol
Omg, I'm living your life as I read this. I have chosen to be alone rather than to submit. Telling myself, I am who I am.
Wow! Same here except it was my mother that instilled the masculinity in me and I now recognize it in the majority of women in my family. I’m almost 54 and alone basically on purpose because I don’t want to be with a “weak” man and that’s all I seem to attract. This is very deep.
I felt every word you said. And I’m glad I realized what was going on in my life.
Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️
@@sohfreetv submitting is NOT negative! Though we’ve been taught that. I’m not sure your age but I know as far as millennials and even Gen X, we’ve been preached at to “never need no man”, and “be independent cause you can’t rely on no man”… that’s sooo incorrect in every way. Being submissive does NOT mean, letting a man walk all over you. It means, allowing him to be his masculine self, and to lead , as he’s biologically designed to do…while we follow that lead or give him the tender affectionate side of us. Being submissive can be as simple as helping your man take his boots off after a long day of work. The only reason I know this is because one day I did that for my “on and off bf” … he literally picked me up and carried me to the damn bedroom. I was like wtf are you doin?! He was like, “that was sooo attractive “ I didn’t ask questions 😅 I just enjoyed it.
But another example was , I made his plate for dinner and his drink, just a kind gesture, because he had worked hard all day and I saw how tired he was. He works in a steel mill, FURNACE. Poor man has suit all over him, has sweat all day, just worked harddd… I never thought “oh lemme get him by being submissive “ I just did things to show him that I see and appreciate how hard he works, andddd it turned him on 🤣.
He and I never did struggle with gender roles though, our issues are chemical dependency and shit like that. Trauma bonding 😭. He’s the ONLY man that ever made me turn to mush…he’s also 6’4 275…and a steel worker sooo he fits the masculine bill…but submission came fairly easy to me with him which I chalk up to his masculinity.
Don’t stay to yourself!! Being submissive and being with a masculine man who’s dominant, truly changes how you see things and gender role. That’s how I even realized that I was overly masculine in all my failed relationships.
Sometimes we gotta unlearn what we were taught to make room for what we shoulda been told
😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨 BROTHER GIVING TO EM RAW. TALKIN REAL SHT!! . Respect 🫡🫡💪🏽💯💯💯
Finally somebody who can speak correctly & it doesn’t turn into a battle of unhealed trauma!! Thank u girl friend for listening
What about I don't want you dominating me. Everything he said is concerning him, His feelings just be submissive that's all that's important.Thank God for Mina pause so you can throw submissive out the window. BS like this is why we are by ourselves.
@@deannahamlet9333 sounds like you have selective hearing, that was not what was said nor was it the gist of what he said. Some women hear that word submissive and it just triggers them. These modern women would do anything to get out of being feminine
RReality, I think maybe you need to see the entire video because it didn’t seem to me like those women were listening, it seemed like they were ready to argue. He said “be feminine” and they asked him about his daughter. What the hell is that all about
@@deannahamlet9333 yall are by yourselves because you unfit to be with someone. U are the common denominator in your life
@@tonymistreacts4158 You know nothing about me being unfit for anything.
As a man, I feel that if I've done the work, put in the time, went to therapy, got into shape, I expect the same from my woman.
Because it's not fair to expect your partner to be expected to heal you with love, while putting up with tantrums, toxic selfish behavior, ultimatums, emotional abuse, etc.
It goes both ways.
Agreed-signed a woman
This is why I'm not searching for a partner. I'm not ready
Great job on addressing your issues first. It takes a level headed person to do so, I wish everyone else( Men&Women) would do the same. They would get along better.
@@chelleydiva that would be what we called an ideal world
True
It is important to heal yourself before getting into a serious relationship anyway. CHILDHood will trauma will surface at the worst times and send the relationship off the rails.
Say it again preach 🙌
Absolutely
💯
Bro resonated with a lot a women with this one I see …which…. this topic can be very difficult for some to understand ….. take notes fellas … it’s sometimes not what you say but how you say it and how you articulate yourself to get your point across. Well said 👏
I’m sure some chick will say some one hurt him though 🤧
I'm glad to see these young men holding on to the ole school. Been married 26 years and we have tried to show our kids this. They see me be submissive and they have seen their father love me like I'm the only women alive. Being submissive doesn't mean being treated badly. Hell I have all the power lol
It’s 27 years. Power? You weaponized your vagina. That’s abuse of power! I’m starting to look like Quagmire after discovering internet porn
@@tonytrinidad4409 😂😂 Quagmire that's funny AF. No sweetheart nothing like that completely left field. You must be young? My power has nothing to do with my puss well maybe some but not like you thinking. You can't have a 27 year marriage and genuinely be happy playing that game. I've been married over half my life we basically grew up together. My power is so much more! What is a women? A women is strong, a women creates life, nurtures life with her body, a women makes a home that her husband is proud of. A women will protect her babies with her life...... I could go on but hopefully you get my point. My women hood is my power I created this home that my man worked so hard for I keep it together without me it all goes to shit. Power of the puss is some hoe shit. Together we have created three generations now. I am surrounded by my kids grandkids and now great grandchildren. That young man is my superpower!
You cant get ANY understanding when your already combative and ready to put someone in their place. NO one wants to put up with a fight at every point. Life is to short.
This brother is speaking from seeking wisdom , I'm the same way, we all have issues , yet everything has to be put into it's perspective place, far too many use pass issues as excuses to be irresponsible in a relationship. I learned how to be a feminine woman coming through my issues and I praise God for pressing through my struggles. Thank u my brother for speaking this truth....
Speak bro!!! You are saying something very powerful here
She asked a question and received a in depth answer, that is what ADULTS do!!! I appreciate his attitude and demeanor !!
This part. There's a level of maturity that comes with masculinity and femininity because it displays accountability and responsibility without the insecurities, cause anything else comes off as adolescent where an adolescent only understands male and female but not the embodiment of the maturity, roles, responsibilities and spirituality nor foundational principals it's rooted in
Accountability😂 Where? This dude is a “sack -head”… Any Black man in American “believing” HE should not have to care “why” black women have “developed their masculine side”and views this condition as “her issue” is a “little boy- Playing all grown up”, as HE himself is NOT TAKING OWNERSHIP OF BLACK MENS PARTICIPATION IN THAT ALONE! African American women “never” in the history of our relationship to and in America, asked, requested, desired, or facilitated in the removal of black men from the home, and BLACK MEN DONT WANT TO FACE WHY -THEY ACCEPTED THE OPTION TO LEAVE WILLINGLY”… “SACK - HEAD MF”… Black women WAKE UP!
He didn’t have a bad answer, it just wasn’t a good answer for this question. If her issues were being toxic, then I would agree. But in this case, this “masculine energy” is usually necessary for survival for women.
@@funnyfoxbirdHey Dumb ass masculine energy a woman brings and exudes in a relationship is " toxic "🤦♂️
Submissive by God is different from the world. According to God means to support and stand by him. The world definition is to be obedient. God's said have no other God and be obedient to me. Men do not controll women
THIS SHIT IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. Men and women have to work TOGETHER. Imposing all these expectations, labels, and rules on each other is an exercise in absurdity! If your VALUES align, and you share a similar vision, WORK TOGETHER ON THE REST!
👏👏👏👏 Thank you!
Nah
Exactly
But the bases of Majority of Male and Female relationships are based on our biological differences and how they complement each other.
Would you be against having to take trash out, mow the yard, fix the cars, so handy things around the house while you are pregnant?…And why is that rule/expectation/label ok, but not his in the video?
One other thing. A man proposes to a woman because he has seen her in action and expects her to be a good wife.
Just like a woman doesn’t let a man go raw doggy In her unless he has showed that he will be a good father to their future kids. 🤭🤭🤣😂🤣🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
You said nothing thinking you said anything.
Yeeesss that's me😊😊I Love how he honored a feminine woman🥰🥰
PREACH MY BROTHA, EVEN EXCHANGE
SAME MEANING FOR ALL, IT GOES BOTH WAYS
My Dad was the best ! My mom got ill when I was seven - Daddy got me a nail kit at 11 y.o - I would do my nails when he cook dinner. He would tell me put a little lipstick 💄 on brighten yourself up when I was grown going out . He encouraged my tomboy self to embrace my feminine energy. Love you Daddy!
That's beautiful ❤️
🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯
Absolutely!!!!!
At 35, I'm not putting up with the unhealed trauma and I don't expect a man to put up with it either.
Nobody even acknowledged what he said, they just went straight on to asking him to explain more stuff.
What he said made so much sense!!!!💕💕💕💕
Because it was one sided. He literally said he doesn't care what trauma may have affected a woman to make her less feminine, yet a feminine woman has to do all of this caring and understanding, about his battles and more, which nine times out of ten will include trauma even if it's new. All the things they want, they feel women do not need it as well. If they knew how to offer what they want, I guarantee the state of relationships would be much better overall if they tried that too.
@@PhoenixRise0101 he never said a woman should deal with that. He zclearly said that most women don't deal with that and that he doesn't deal with it either
@@PhoenixRise0101 you can’t hear. You have your feeling ears on instead of your listening ears.
What if he already dealt with his trauma, does he still have to deal with your also?
A Submissive woman actually gets leeway to have some trauma because her Softness will afford her some grace in his eyes.
A Damsel in distress shouldn’t act like a rabid Dog.
If she does, it’s hard for the man to know whether to speak softly or put her down like a rabid dog.
@@PhoenixRise0101very one sided! Everything he described as being feminine was just being of service to him. Nothing about the woman herself.
@@PD-qu8dq 👏🏽 👏🏽
Feminine is not about submission, it is energy. Submission is an action and feminine is a energy. I use to be so tapped into my masculine side because i was forced to due to survival. And handling business on my own and not wanting to be taken advantage of . i learned how to tap into my feminine side by changing my mindset and healing my childhood trauma. Now everything i get is basically free. Im receiving love, gifts, free food, front row parking, catching all the green lights. Men are basically chasing me down in my sweat pants and fupa. Its the energy. Not the ego.
Chasing you. ..but not marrying you?
@@geraldbouvy1222 Im engaged. This will be my second beautiful marriage. Men will still chase me, buy my Starbucks, pay for my food open my doors, compliment me. Like i said its my energy. I have been proposed to 3 times before i said yes this fourth time. I was not desperate for love and i was tapped into my goddess energy so i was able to decline 3 offers without being afraid of missing out on love. Look at me now. My future husband gives me his whole check because I'm sweet. I hope you find a women that makes you love like that. Take care
@SBUTTER second marriage. Lol. I bet. Well, working on our 21st year of our FIRST MARRIAGE, that has survived army deployments, two adults in nursing school, the death of a child...
I don't think you have ANYTHING to teach me, and I wonder who people should listen to:
You, bumbing through life, or me, intentionally moving a plan?
I know if I wanted to learn how to plumb, I wouldn't ask someone who's house is underwater.
From 21 years of a successful marriage, MARRIAGE IS SUBMISSION. doesn't matter if you are MAN OR WOMAN, OR TWO MEN OR TWO WOMEN, Both submit when the time is appropriate.
Yes. Feminine IS SUMBMISSIVE when it is appropriate, BUT there is POWER IN SUBMISSION. women had power BEFORE they could vote, they had power BEFORE they went into the workplace, it was the power over the male heart and mind.
A TEAM can only have ONE LEADER at a time. That leader MAY CHANGE, DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES, but it doesn't result from "boss b%^ches" .
Again, I wonder who we should listen to: 21 years of marriage,....or "engaged to second husband".
@@thetruthteller33 the thing about the internet is anybody can say anything, and everything you said sounds like 🧢🧢🧢. Girl nobody is chasing you down in sweat pants and a fupa and doing all that for you. Nice fiction story though. Ttyl 😂
So true. We all have to own and work our own healing. We cannot expect a partner to solve our issues.
Happily chosen to be a Housewife and choose to wear makeup, cook, clean and provide what hubs can't while working. Trust me being a housewife is most definitely a career. I'm blessed we are able to live the lifestyle we chose. Feminists get mad I'm a happy housewife. It's my choice yet they can't support it😵💫
Yes, I love being a housewife!
I aspire to be a househusband someday
I need to be yall friends in this comments. I am trying to learn how to be a housewife. Lord's knows I will happily be one
@@corinenewsome5646when he leaves you, better know how to leave that house, lol.
@@nora22000 forever alone huh lol
Truth… No one owes you understanding. Request of yourself that which you require in others🤷🏽♀️
no one deserves it but bc of compassion we see change. yes we can help ourselfs but alot of people need healing from one another.
In all thy getting get an understanding
Understanding basking in our feminity isn't about submission to a man
It's about knowing who she is
And who's she is
Making 💯 % of who she is
Giving the Best of herself to herself
Allows a Man to receive thr Best of what she has to offer(.)
You named what she do got a Man (NOT)
Those women in front of you was asking questions still wasn't listening.
They see son, brother, uncle, “ain’t shit”, etc. They don’t redirect you black men. Go get the women that you’re truly free with. Get the woman they try to look like.
How can you tell from this clip that they weren't listening? ....
@@madonnarogers5148
They are too busy, too preoccupied with what the are going to say next in order to win the argument. That's a hostile atmosphere.
FACTZ 😂
Typical , frustrating being in a relationship with one
One thing I experience on dating apps a lot is women will ask for my number and then suggest a date idea we should do. It instantly turns me off every time.
Now modern women today will probably say that it's just her being confident and trying to show she's interested. But all it does is come off as masculine behavior.
What I want as a man is to lead and feel her being excited and appreciative of what I'm offering. It really is that simple on how to be a feminine woman. Men act and women follow. 💯
She tried to throw a curveball but bruh was ready lol
Damn! The brother is spitting some bars while being cool calm and collected and he serious and looking fly doing it.
Powerful and sexy 💯
Facts
I agree...100%..never thought about it..sick of masculine women and feminine men...they should both hook up...and wear each other's underwear!!
Submission. Fuck that bull shit
Feminine doesn't mean being under man's control being a man of God is different than being a man taught by the world know the difference
As a women I agree 100000% with what he said. At some point you gotta assess yourself and make those changes it’s not the responsibility of your lover to fix you or put up with your traumas that wasn’t caused by them. 🙏🏽
It’s annoying when you find a good clip and can’t find the full video
At the end of the day all this boils down to it's just finding that person that you connect with and are willing to deal with their issues and they're willing to deal with yours. I'm tired of people encountering people that they're meant to encounter but not build a life with and then they want to be mad because they chose to try and build a relationship for somebody that they weren't meant to be in a relationship with. People aren't taking the time to sit down and speak with their partners about what they really want from each other, they'll talk in a group form all day but will not sit down and talk to each other about what they want and don't want what they like and don't like. There is a reason that we were advised to be equally yoked 💜
Just said the SAME THING!!!!
She tried the “you have a daughter” angle which is typical when they know they are defeated
No she used it as a tactic but it failed
Exactly! 🤦😅 Instead of listening, she had her response already. She asked if he had a daughter within the first 5 seconds of him talking. That's why he said "My point is this..."
Who’s defeated? His daughter will be the only one defeated. He’s raising a door mat.
Yup
There are men who teach their daughters to be independent women and tell them not to depend on a man, but want the opposite in a spouse. That’s the angle she’s getting at.
Je forget to mention “be by his side when times get rough”. They tend to scram at the slightest sign of financial instability
Well... if you want a woman who is resting in her femininity and has submitted to you, then she is fully dependent on you for financial support. Having a career is masculine, remember? If you fail to provide, then you have violated the covenant and she has to get gone. She has to move to the next dude quickly, so she can sell her services.
Maybe if you had a woman who was able provide for herself and y'all worked to together to achieve your financial goals, she would be more inclined to catch you when you fall a bit. You a know a partnership.
💯 Is it just me or did anyone else get turned on by his truth....ooh 💘 well said
I have seen COUNTLESS women shoulder the burden of emotionally unintelligent men ... patience and understanding are key .... because my husband is a man that didn't have a father, hardly any men in his life, I had to look at the bigger picture and come to realize that we all have STUFF ...none of us come completely healed ... my husband tells me I have helped change his mind set ... patience , decrement, and the removal of pride and EGO is soooo important
🎯
Bottom line ladies and gentlemen: Don't try to make me accept something that you would not accept
That’s all he said!!! And that’s fair!!! I’m confused why we get so upset with people’s preferences?!? I’ve never understood…. The saying is WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER….
And he will be: loving, respectful, loyal, fun, present, protective, a great father & financially responsible etc for the type of woman he just described.
Are you that woman he described? Always focusing on the man. Are you who you need to be for that man?..Not this conditionally stuff! I will only if. You are that or you aren’t not. Men draw to women like that. Real Men!
Well he won’t be for you dumb ass nice try though you trash woman
@@MrRealbrotha brother these trash sisters don’t cut it that’s why they’re unmarried
@@MrRealbrotha Bro, they don’t care what men want even when we tell them what we want.
I’m a man in my early 30s from a good home, in shape, making 6 figures, and working remotely for a tech company and some of my brothers are in the same position as I am and others are working their way up.
We have been listening to our women demanding 6 figures, so we are here.
I’m also demanding all the traditionally feminine things a woman can provide and if I can fine sister here that can provide all nine yards, I’ll get my passport, so I can go abroad look for better options
And I put money you are none of the things that that man described. Black women are the worst example of what a woman.should be
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 he knocked that shit out da park. Women who speak softly, understanding, cook, clean, keep a house, thats a feminine woman. Be the ying to my yang.
So you want a servant not a feminine woman?
@@XT93343 idgaf what you wanna call it, my wife wanted a man she can cater too and depend on. being submissive in n out the bedroom. I took her from the hood to the burbs. In exchange I take care of her and make her life easier. She has no reason to stress. She doesn't have to raise a daughter on her own because im so involved i coached her soccer team, she drives a infiniti truck because of my hardwork. Brotha, thats not her being a slave...its called appreciation its called a partnership. Im blessed to her and we cater to each other.
Hope Allah bestows you with s suck rare gift in this life.
@@BigOso203 It was just a simple question, everything else is unnecessary. No need to be so temperamental.
I do all of that except speak softly. That’s cringy…
It's funny, her last question was to see if she could find a flaw and he put her in her place with his definition. Love it.🙃
Why are y’all like this 😂
THEY LOOKING FOR A ARGUMENT AND HE DID NOT FALL FOR IT
Being able to bask in my feminine and masculine side is balance of my inner self❤
your mostly masculine fam
What....
These people won’t get it they haven’t sat down and really done spiritual work
1. when they ask " do you have a son or daughter, they try to start the table turning
2. when they ask what's your definition of....whatever, that's when they try to see if they can fit into you programming
‼️‼️‼️
No they’re trying to see if he has proximity to women close to him to where he could empathize if someone said that to them. Because if a man told my daughter “I don’t care about your childhood” I’d tell her to run. Because he’s an extremist. People are only a reflection of their upbringings. It doesn’t mean you find anybody unhealed but everybody comes with SOMETHING including him…
@@KariFromTH-cam that’s not even the context of what he said😂 you need to actually listen to what he said
@@KariFromTH-cam I would tell my daughter the opposite. I would tell her no matter what happened in the past you have 3 options.
1) let it make you bitter/a worst version of yourself
2) remain unchanged
3) learn from it to become a better person
Ultimately he is right. It's not necessarily about not caring about what happened in your past it's about not letting it turn you into #1 then using that as an excuse for why you are the way you are presently which is what women are taught with the "take me as I am" while men are taught to "man up" (which is basically #3) because the hard things make it easier to deal with adversity in the future.
This is why we need both parents in the home.
No, because people don't know the definitions of words and people operate off of definitional assumptions. So when I ask you what the definition of the word is, that's at least the starting point for understanding.
For example, the word submission means to bend to the will of another by force. But every time men ask for submission, you I want to pretend that that's not what the word means. Then throw up the surprise pikachu face when women are aghast
We both need healing bfr and and after a relationship and it's definitely nothing wrong with teaching the opposite sex some of the simple things in life we take advantage of or grew up with. If you can teach love and understand each other to be better as a WHOLE -then by all means do it y'all. Being humane is FREE!!😇🙌
Preach!!!
Yup when a man comes with issues , to a woman it's move along. When they come with their baggage and issues, a man has to accommodate and be understanding and sympathetic to them!
Women have bent over backwards for too long and now they don’t have any patience I suppose. If I have to heal so do you
@@PerfectContradiction women ain’t bend shit. Men build society are the main income and fight all the wars. You need to realize all you did was your half stop letting msm trick into “independence” and bs like that
@@PerfectContradictionagain your problem go heal and come back to the market a feminine women to get the best man available
@@Shanard242 I have issues that need to be addressed to heal my feminity,and I agree ,I must do the work and I deserve the process of self love and healing and to present the most feminine version of myself for my future mate.I also say one way women can heal their masculinity is by not caring when men are broken because we do to a level of enabling men so many times even have friends and family that have put in application's for their man or work their butt off while their men stay home.
Sounds like a mature person he’s describing. I’ve been accused of being masculine. By men that were lazy and didn’t want to work and left me to pick up the slack. Then I remembered my daddy telling me “I’m not raising you to take care of a man that refuses to be a man.” Then I get my daddy energy and get them up and out. My husband now likes to work. I still love my career and love to work. My husband has my respect and get all the thing your talking about. My people are so lost and confused we have a lot of healing to do both men and women. I’m not a masculine woman I’m a virtuous woman that rises to the occasion.
Being masculine and unbalanced is why women like yourself pick the kind of men you do.
Your dad said he didn't raised you to take care of a man. You either need to be more feminine so you can select the right kind of mate, or you needed to tell your dad that you are grown and thats who you chose to pick.☺️
Your lack of accountability let you to believe he is lazy. You knew him before you pick him. I'm sure he told you on multiple occasions what he was and wasn't going to do. But you being masculine thing I can do it myself until you got tired. Even your dad's has to remind you that you are the problem.
@@juniorroberts1578 you obviously didn't read anything that was written..now tell me about your daddy issues... remember it's showing
Same problem for me, I make more but I don’t feel how much you make equates to being submissive. I want to be submissive for my man, but the energy he gives, the laziness, the bossiness he gives makes it hard to submit, I want to submit but be heard too.
it’s ok to be alone
You still can be feminine while evicting someone out of your life
I learned a little late but I finally got it! It's okay to walk & live in my femininity as a powerful woman and not be so masculine in my vocal/body language. But, when I dated or linked- up with a different kind of man, it pushed me to play a masculine role. Now, I've learned how to balance & allow my man to "man me."
well you don't fully have it because it's no need to balance anything you can do literally anything productive as a woman in your femininity. I don't understand why women can't understand that being feminine is your superpower you can damn near get a man to do anything if you come with feminine energy.
for example women actually believe strippers get man to throw all their money sometime even going broke just because they're showing a naked body. but in reality that same man has seen other women naked and had sex and would never give them all his cash. if women actually pay attention to how the women interact and talk with the man before and after they start dancing they are extremely feminine and that's the real reason how a woman at the strip club can get a man to give her his entire paycheck. literally have him eating out the palm of her hand. hell I have seen strippers make a man get on his knees and bark like a dog lol
He made a solid point and was clear on his definition of femininity. He's not playing in to the fad he has a reasonable expectation. Love this.
Some of the strongest Queens I know submit to their Kings...gladly. Feels AWESOME relinquishing the helm as needed 💯💪🏽👍🏽😼
Submission is a non-issue for women who are loved properly.
This man says: “I don‘t care” but feels a woman is supposed to “speak life into HIM, be reasonable and UNDERSTANDING” 🤔 Nigga Please 🙄
just like you wouldn't care if a man came to you with excuses of why he is not a masculine man
😂😂
A lot of women are the same way.