If your mother in law expect you to love her like your own mother then she should love you like her own daughter too. I understand how you feel, my mother in law lives with me too and she stresses me out. I think only the people who have their in laws live with them will understand our stress and frustrations
Honestly as a nyab, i dont expect my mil to love me like her own daughters but i do expect her to love her grandkids all equally bc my kids are her son's kids also. If you treat my kids unfairly, dont expect me to love you completely, if at all.
Most niam pog are like that, including my own niam pog so you are not alone. But then again, honestly as a nyab who comes from the outside, don't expect your inlaws to love you like their own kids. Lawv lam hais tias lawv hlub yus xwm kom zoo saib xwm os. Only very few will accept their nyab and vauv & love them as their own. Just keep everything mutual and let it be.
I totally agree! I used to love my in-laws and did more for them but my MIL made it clear who her favorite son and nyab are. Ever since then, I just keep my distance. I only go around when it’s important, otherwise, I stay in my own world. It’s so peaceful!
Absolutely! After years of slaving away to please them I finally gave up and made it known that my life is about me and I won’t do extra work to please or give them face.
Agree. But the biggest issue in thus hmong community is that mil and fil don't love their nyab like their daughters, but expect the nyab to be slaves and love them more than her own parents. This is the problem that older hmong generations take advantage of and nyabs now at days won't tolerate it no more
My MIL is like this too, when it comes to watching kids, but I’ve always watched my own kids. Since my in laws use to work when I had kids, now that my kids are over 18 and my MIL lives with me, I make it clear to my sils that I don’t want their kids over 24/7. I understand when they work and need help but not when they are out drinking and fishing every weekend. If they need a sitter on the weekends, my MIL can go there. My house is my sane place. It’s common sense to watch your own kids in your own home!
True! This is my rule in my home too. My home is not a daycare for anyone. Anyone needs a babysitter take the sitter to your home, my home is not your daycare.
No offense to the traditional Hmong way of having in-laws live with you and be your in home babysitter, but this is exactly why we need to stop this tradition. Too many issues and drama come up. Parents should learn to care for their own children and problem solve together who will care for their children. If MIL is going to help babysit, she should have her own house and open it up to all of her children.
So true. This is how my niam pog is too. She told me straight up she would not help us babysit. But all of her daughters party every weekend and she is willing to babysit without complaining. She is willing to go all the way to her daughter just to pick them up. Some Niam pog will never treat you like their own daughter. Tu siab rau niam pog but niam pog always claim that she is tu siab rau peb. Story of my life.
this is my MIL, she always side with her daughters. OMG your mil is exactly like mine. she will gossip about me to everyone if me and my husband has issues but when her daughters have issues, she covers it up until when it gets so bad. This is why we moved away from them to live with my side. My husband told them if anything comes up their daughters can handle it since they never want to help us.
No one will understand until they walk in your shoes. My MIL was the same like your MIL.😭 Evil MIL you can’t win so just be glad she moved out. Just do good and lived your life n marriage to the fullest.
The point of the story isn't all about her wanting the MIL to watch her kids more but to be fair towards all the siblings. The FAIRNESS of love from a mother is what she wants these MIL to understands. For sure, these MIL have been a nyab before and they understood the hardship but they all treated us new generation nyab like they had never been in the nyab shoes.
It took me a long time to understand that in law will never love you like they love their children. Looking back, I think it was unfair to expecting that from them. Keep your boundaries and treated them like they are your in laws.
Wow!!!My life with my mother's inlaw is the same as this story. My inlaw only takes care her daughters kids. Plus all her money, she gave it all to her daughters to keep in their savings account. When she die the elders family asking us son and daughter inlaw to buried her. Big arguments beginning and end. The elders family forced the daughters to bring their moms money to the table if they don't, they would not aloud the sons to buried her. Leave it to the daughters to buried. Sooo yep!! The daughters came forward and brought the money. My inlaws's funeral costs was $43 grand. Didn't include casket and the cost of funeral home. Total cost everything was $70 grand. I understand that we might not be the daughters they like, but they need to understand that if they choose to only do everything for their daughters , they need to move out and live with their daughters and not with the sons. She can choose to do what ever with her daughter for that matters. For me I would treats my sons and daughters the same equally because given birth to these kids the pain is the same . I would love them equally because we never know in the end who will love and care for us. We want love from our kids, we must show love first before we can receive love. At least that's what I believe. Be kind and be humbled person is the best to live happily in the family. May the lord wrks through their hearts and bring their family come to understanding.🙂
I don't understand why people expect their parents to watch their kids. There are daycares for a reason. My parents or my in-laws never watch my kids for me.
Exactly! The parents are done with their job of raising their kids. If you're not going to watch your own kids, don't open your legs! It's your kids you made, not your in-laws!
@@MissLuvleeshadow But the MIL watches son and nyab's kids when they're at work. She is refusing to watch their kids when they are just going out to play. There's nothing wrong with that. MIL is already helping when needed. From the story, it sounds like MIL is only watching her daughter's kids when they go out. She is their grandma too so there's nothing wrong watching her daughter's kids. I think this nyab is expecting too much from her MIL. She needs to just find a different babysitter or dishwasher to replace the MIL because obviously she cannot depend on MIL. This will reduce the stress/drama.
I don't know but I hope parents have children for themselves and not their mother-in-law. Your children are your responsibility and if anyone including your MIL is willing to lend a hand to help, just be grateful. Money and decisions made by someone else is their choice. If you don't want your nieces and nephews to spend time with their grandparents in your home, have them pick up your in-laws and have them babysit at their house. If someone does something for you, remember that's debt you owe them. Just take care of your obligations and live your life in peace.
Hmong people need to learn to pay for their own babysitter. Plus the in-laws have the right to borrow their money to whomever they want. Why complain? This is about financial stability including childcare needs.
I couldn't agree more. SMH. Hmong people need to understand that they cannot push their kids on to family to watch. That's your responsibility. Maybe you should start paying people to watch YOUR kids.
@@mmx2025 yep! I was fortunate enough to have live-in, in-laws who loves their grandkids to death but that doesn't mean I plan my life relying on them solely. I planned my life as if they were not there. My children are my responsibility. If my in-laws were kind enough to watch my kids for a short time and my kids were still alive when I got home, I'm grateful. Because they didn't have to and they could dedicate their time elsewhere. These people haven't pay for daycare or borrow money from the bank to find out the cost and interest they pay on borrowed $$$$.
I have to add another comment after listening to the whole story. Every Hmong family go thru this kind of issue including our own family. The problem stem from children who can't watch their own kids and mothers who take sides. Elderly Hmong mothers are not fair as they do know how to treat all children fairly and equally. I hope that we women growing up in America learn to be more kind, love and respect our children equally.
I bet this mil is listening to this story right now and has the audacity to say, oh this isn’t me because I love my daughter in laws like they are my own.
Why are people so entitled now a days. Your kids, your responsibility. Be grateful she's watching them while you're working. If your mil didn't use your gift, she probably didn't like it and you didn't bother to get to know her enough to understand what her interest are. She's not picking favorites, you're playing the victim. You receive the love you give. Also, when you have expectations, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Because of real life stories like this, Remember that we all will be Niam pog or Niam tais one day. When that day comes, I’m not watching no one’s kids. Period.
.....SOUNDS EXACTLY like my mother. 😆 But I forgive her but never forget. Be strong and cheers for a hard life instead of an easy one. Too sad to talk about when you're not a favorite son or not receiving equal treatment from parents compare to your siblings but it's ok. I still love my parents no matter what. Hope everyone will too. God bless to all who are in similar situations. 🙏
Yug niam yog tus muab txoj sia e luag thiaj hlub yus tshaj niam pog ce saib yus yog tus los sab nrauv li tus qhua xwb lawv thiaj tsi xav hlub tsi pab yus zov me nyuam 😢
Dont expect your mil to love you like her daughter...she babysit your kids everyday while you guys go work. You are lucky enough already...have big heart as long your hubby love you. I think you expect little too much from her.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a mother in law like that. Nothing i did was ever right & nothing is ever good enough for her. But the littlest thing her daughters did, they are praised for. I was the worst person ever just because I am a white hmong. Thank goodness..... that was all in the past & life took me else where. I pray you two can find peace within each other.
That's every mother n law. I bought her a watch for xmas. She gave it to her daughter. My husband said just buy her food. So now I just buy her food. If she eats that's up to her. If you buy a person a gift but they don't appreciate just stop buying them gifts. These old folks they just want money.
I understand it feels unfair BUT your kids are your kids. You are obligated to take care of them. If your MIL is willing to care for them when u go work, just be grateful. I can't wait to get off work and care for my kids, and spend time with them. I take them everywhere I go. But besides work, the majority of the time , you should take care of them. And give up going out until your kids grow. And if you really want to go, find a different babysitter.
Tus me ntxhais aw txhob tham tham os lub neej pog nyab ces leej twg tham ntau ntau ces tus ntawv yog tus phem xwb txog txij luag zov tus twg cov mi ntsis ces tus ntawv yeej hlub luag mi ntsis yeej yog li koj niam pog hais os yus los ntshe yeej hlub yus niam dua hos yus tus muam los kuj hlub nws niam dua thiab yus tham tham ces yus phem xwb os mog tus me ntxhais aw
Yus niam yus txiv thiab li hlub yus. Don’t be sad I am a sister and a daughter in laws. My mother always help me watch my kids and love my kids my sil always complain and come at me saying I got all my mother love but I disagree because my mother live with my sil and brother she help them with the rent and when she tell them she is coming over to my place to help me and relief her brain my sil always think of she is coming over to watch my kids! I’m sorry this sister feel this way but we need to hear the mother in law side of the story too.
I didn’t listen to the whole story because I got irritated at this nyab. Mi nyab learn to depend on yourself. Nobody is obligated to help you or do anything for you. Don’t depend on others that way you can’t be disappointed in your life. Every choice you make is up to you. No matter how much your mil loves or doesn’t love you it doesn’t matter. As long as she loves her son. That’s her son and she will always have love for her daughter she birthed. Just live your life. And love your husband.
Peb yuav tau kawm zaj neej neeg no es ua ib tug niam pog kom ncaj rau tus ntxhais thiab tus nyab es ob leeg thiaj tsis tus siab nawb. Tus niam pog no yeej ua tsis ncaj rau tus nyab lawm.
Yog lawm mas! Every nyab los twb yuav tau ua niam pog thiab ces cia nyias mam take nyias qhov xwb laus yom, txog nyias thib ces nyias mam tom nplaig kiag xwb laus peb xav na , 😜😜
Kuv mloog koj cov lus mas koj yeej lhub koj niam tshaj koj niam pog tos nws tsis qhib koj pob khoom los ntshe koj twb yuav kaum pob rau kj niam lawm mam yuav lb pob rau nws ces nws thiaj chim lawm hnub kj ua niam pog kj mam paub os mog
Everyone just babysit your own kids and stop borrowing money from the mother, she is not a bank. There's to much drama going on you guys are grown adults deal with ur own problems. LEAVE THE PARENTS ALONE !!!!! EVERYONE IS BEING SELFISH FOR THEMSELVES.
Thank god my husband made it clear to my mil that whoever needs her to babysit have to come pick her up to their home. But yes my mil is the same too. No matter how good you are as a nyab she will always mention her daughters. BS! And OG likes to mention death when you bring out their wrongs and acted like the victim lol
Just on the babysitting issue i feel like this lady is ungrateful. Your mil has every right to do whatever she wants with her time and effort. You’re just mad she doesn’t want to watch your kids while you go out and play. So what if she’s willing to do this for others. She’s not obligated to do anything period. Just be grateful your mil is willing to watch them when necessary ( work, school, family events).
Tus viv ncaus aw cas koj txoj neej neeg no nim zoo li kuv txoj thiab os yus yog tus nyab lawv tsi nyiam ces ua npaum twg los luag yeej tsi qhuas li tiag
Peb ua neej nyob ces nyias yeej hus nyias kwj tse xwb mas koj yuav kom koj niam pog hlub koj li nws hlub nws tus ntxhais es yog li koj puas hlub koj niam pog li koj hlub koj niam mas
Koj tsis yog luag yug koj yuav kom luag hlub taus koj li yog luag yug tsis tau nawj mog me niam tsev...txawm koj yuav ua zoo tuag kus rau koj niam pog los luag yeej hlub luag roj ntshav tshaj koj nawj mog, muab hais ua tuas yaj tias yog tus nyab thiab tus ntxhais poob dej luag yeej xub muab luag tus ntxhais ua ntej nawj, hais me los yeej paub ntau lawm os
koj thiab kv txoj dab neeg ces nim zoo ib yam os yus tsis yog luag yug es yus yug tau me nyuam zoo ntxim yus hlub lo twb tsis ntxim luag hlub os mog lawv tus ntxhais yug tau twb yog me nyuam hmoob xwb lo lawv tias ntxim hlub heev xav mas chim siab tshaj tuag tsis xav pam li os
This is why say Idk why these elders are afraid to mus nyob pem nursing homes. Yus tau zoo tshaj li na! Instead of you having to cook for, feed, and change your grandchildren (and sometimes even great-grandchildren) diaper... people are cooking for you, feeding you, and changing your diaper! Tau zoo npaum li no lawm nas es pheej ntshai thiab tsis xav mus nus nyob tsev laus.🤦🏻♀️😄 Kawg tau pab tub thiab nyab zov yus tej xeeb ntxwv xwb.
Tsis hais koj niam pog, koj niam, kuv niam, kuv niam pog. They all just love who they love. Personal experience of mine, too. I guess we DAUGHTERS can't depend and expect fair treatment anyone at all....from any og. Only a few MOTHER will treat their daughter and daughter in law the same. You're blessed if you have that.
Idk about the rest of the nyabs but I know.for myself, I don't expect the same kind of love back. I know that I am only a nyab to my husband's family. And that's all I will receive. Don't expect too much from the in-laws!! You will only be disappointed
Cas tej nyab thiab muam no es pheej yuav sib khib ua luaj li os...yog lawv yug lawm ces lawv yeej hlub ib yam xwb mas es txhob sib sib khib os. Nej los yeej yuav txawj ua niam pog ib yam thiab, txog nej thib nej thiaj paub.
I’m surprised some of the comments agree with this person. I’m only 10 mins in and I have to say. Your mother in law is not responsible to watch your kids at all. Regardless if she’s not busy and just laying around. Regardless if she’s willing to watch someone else’s kids and not yours. You say she’s a perfect mil besides this babysitting issue but it sounds more of a personal issue to me.Your kids are your own responsibility. You should be grateful she’s watching them for the couple hours between you and your husbands work schedule. A lot of couples out there don’t have that advantage of an elder living with them to help and they have to pay for daycare or run around picking up their kids from family. Don’t be upset she’s honest with you and tells you no when it comes to watching your kids in the weekend. That just means she loves you and your husband because she can be honest with you two. I’m sure she doesn’t even want to babysit her daughters kids but she can’t say no because it’s her daughter. She feels obligated to and can’t say no even though she wants to. She knows she can be honest with you and your husband and you guys would understand and won’t go shaming her but here you are shaming your mil lmao.
If your mother in law expect you to love her like your own mother then she should love you like her own daughter too. I understand how you feel, my mother in law lives with me too and she stresses me out. I think only the people who have their in laws live with them will understand our stress and frustrations
Forget about being the bigger person. Some people doesn't deserve your love. Treat them how they treat you.
For sure. I have been learning to do that lately. That's the only way your blood pressure doesn't go off the roof.
Honestly as a nyab, i dont expect my mil to love me like her own daughters but i do expect her to love her grandkids all equally bc my kids are her son's kids also. If you treat my kids unfairly, dont expect me to love you completely, if at all.
Me too
But as niam pog do not expect tus nyab love you too.
You read my mind.
Well said!
Agree
Most niam pog are like that, including my own niam pog so you are not alone. But then again, honestly as a nyab who comes from the outside, don't expect your inlaws to love you like their own kids. Lawv lam hais tias lawv hlub yus xwm kom zoo saib xwm os. Only very few will accept their nyab and vauv & love them as their own. Just keep everything mutual and let it be.
I totally agree! I used to love my in-laws and did more for them but my MIL made it clear who her favorite son and nyab are. Ever since then, I just keep my distance. I only go around when it’s important, otherwise, I stay in my own world. It’s so peaceful!
Agreed Kimberly, I’m remarried, but please respect me how I respect u and please show respect to my kids how you want to be treated.
Absolutely! After years of slaving away to please them I finally gave up and made it known that my life is about me and I won’t do extra work to please or give them face.
Agree. But the biggest issue in thus hmong community is that mil and fil don't love their nyab like their daughters, but expect the nyab to be slaves and love them more than her own parents. This is the problem that older hmong generations take advantage of and nyabs now at days won't tolerate it no more
@@GiiRLiie2011 yep. some people don't deserve your love. it's best to stop giving to them if they don't even appreciate it.
My MIL is like this too, when it comes to watching kids, but I’ve always watched my own kids. Since my in laws use to work when I had kids, now that my kids are over 18 and my MIL lives with me, I make it clear to my sils that I don’t want their kids over 24/7. I understand when they work and need help but not when they are out drinking and fishing every weekend. If they need a sitter on the weekends, my MIL can go there. My house is my sane place. It’s common sense to watch your own kids in your own home!
Also liability issues. If their kids get hurt at your place you’re liable for their hospital bills.
Sorry but they can take MIL to their own home to babysit their kids.
Tu siab kawg Thaum peb nyob nrog 1 tug niam Pog zoo li no.
True! This is my rule in my home too. My home is not a daycare for anyone. Anyone needs a babysitter take the sitter to your home, my home is not your daycare.
Yes! It's crazy how many kids go over to another daughter in law house 24/7 because the in laws live in that home. I would go insane.
Where you went wrong is the expectation of your mil to love you more or the same like her own daughter. Respect is all you should ask for.
Hais yog lawm thiab ov
Sister damn I support and confirm everything you said. I'm on your team this is real!
No offense to the traditional Hmong way of having in-laws live with you and be your in home babysitter, but this is exactly why we need to stop this tradition. Too many issues and drama come up. Parents should learn to care for their own children and problem solve together who will care for their children. If MIL is going to help babysit, she should have her own house and open it up to all of her children.
So true. This is how my niam pog is too. She told me straight up she would not help us babysit. But all of her daughters party every weekend and she is willing to babysit without complaining. She is willing to go all the way to her daughter just to pick them up. Some Niam pog will never treat you like their own daughter.
Tu siab rau niam pog but niam pog always claim that she is tu siab rau peb. Story of my life.
Thought I was the only unlucky one who ended up w a mil like that.
this is my MIL, she always side with her daughters. OMG your mil is exactly like mine. she will gossip about me to everyone if me and my husband has issues but when her daughters have issues, she covers it up until when it gets so bad. This is why we moved away from them to live with my side. My husband told them if anything comes up their daughters can handle it since they never want to help us.
No one will understand until they walk in your shoes. My MIL was the same like your MIL.😭
Evil MIL you can’t win so just be glad she moved out. Just do good and lived your life n marriage to the fullest.
The point of the story isn't all about her wanting the MIL to watch her kids more but to be fair towards all the siblings. The FAIRNESS of love from a mother is what she wants these MIL to understands. For sure, these MIL have been a nyab before and they understood the hardship but they all treated us new generation nyab like they had never been in the nyab shoes.
No need to feel bad or complain because your mother loves you just as much as your mother-in-law loves her daughter.
Niam pog tsi muaj chaw tuag !
It took me a long time to understand that in law will never love you like they love their children. Looking back, I think it was unfair to expecting that from them. Keep your boundaries and treated them like they are your in laws.
Kuv lub neej ce zoo li zaj neej neeg no os tu siab tshaj li os
Wow!!!My life with my mother's inlaw is the same as this story. My inlaw only takes care her daughters kids. Plus all her money, she gave it all to her daughters to keep in their savings account. When she die the elders family asking us son and daughter inlaw to buried her. Big arguments beginning and end. The elders family forced the daughters to bring their moms money to the table if they don't, they would not aloud the sons to buried her. Leave it to the daughters to buried. Sooo yep!! The daughters came forward and brought the money. My inlaws's funeral costs was $43 grand. Didn't include casket and the cost of funeral home. Total cost everything was $70 grand. I understand that we might not be the daughters they like, but they need to understand that if they choose to only do everything for their daughters , they need to move out and live with their daughters and not with the sons. She can choose to do what ever with her daughter for that matters. For me I would treats my sons and daughters the same equally because given birth to these kids the pain is the same . I would love them equally because we never know in the end who will love and care for us. We want love from our kids, we must show love first before we can receive love. At least that's what I believe. Be kind and be humbled person is the best to live happily in the family. May the lord wrks through their hearts and bring their family come to understanding.🙂
Sad, sounds like you need to give your story May to tell too...we wanna heard it
Omg, don't some of us go through this bullsh!t in life.
Hais tau zoo heev
Mloog ce tus2 siab li os kuv tus niam pog tim plog teb los yeej zoo li no thiab os tseem heev tshaj koj tus niam pog lawm os
Koj hais yog kawg os
😢 😭 😿 Super true, love comes from both end. If you don't show me love I don't know how to show it back too.
Nyab thiab ntxhai ce niam pog yeej hlub ntxhai tshaj nyab os
Kj zaj dab deeg no haig tau tu siab kawg o yug tej niam pog yeej zoo tsis tsawv li ko thiab o
Yog lawm os cov niam pog lo txhob tu2 siab thiab os vim peb cov nyab lo peb yeej muaj2 peb kev tu2 siab thiab
I don't understand why people expect their parents to watch their kids. There are daycares for a reason. My parents or my in-laws never watch my kids for me.
Exactly! The parents are done with their job of raising their kids. If you're not going to watch your own kids, don't open your legs! It's your kids you made, not your in-laws!
I agreed! Your kids is your own responsibilities not your in-laws or your parents! They’re already done raising their own children!
You guys missed the point. MIL daughter always brings her kids over to her to watch but MIL refuses to watch her DIL children.
Exactly!
@@MissLuvleeshadow But the MIL watches son and nyab's kids when they're at work. She is refusing to watch their kids when they are just going out to play. There's nothing wrong with that. MIL is already helping when needed. From the story, it sounds like MIL is only watching her daughter's kids when they go out. She is their grandma too so there's nothing wrong watching her daughter's kids. I think this nyab is expecting too much from her MIL. She needs to just find a different babysitter or dishwasher to replace the MIL because obviously she cannot depend on MIL. This will reduce the stress/drama.
I don't know but I hope parents have children for themselves and not their mother-in-law. Your children are your responsibility and if anyone including your MIL is willing to lend a hand to help, just be grateful. Money and decisions made by someone else is their choice. If you don't want your nieces and nephews to spend time with their grandparents in your home, have them pick up your in-laws and have them babysit at their house. If someone does something for you, remember that's debt you owe them. Just take care of your obligations and live your life in peace.
This right here. 100% agree.
Hmong people need to learn to pay for their own babysitter. Plus the in-laws have the right to borrow their money to whomever they want. Why complain? This is about financial stability including childcare needs.
I couldn't agree more. SMH. Hmong people need to understand that they cannot push their kids on to family to watch. That's your responsibility. Maybe you should start paying people to watch YOUR kids.
@@mmx2025 yep! I was fortunate enough to have live-in, in-laws who loves their grandkids to death but that doesn't mean I plan my life relying on them solely. I planned my life as if they were not there. My children are my responsibility. If my in-laws were kind enough to watch my kids for a short time and my kids were still alive when I got home, I'm grateful. Because they didn't have to and they could dedicate their time elsewhere. These people haven't pay for daycare or borrow money from the bank to find out the cost and interest they pay on borrowed $$$$.
I have to add another comment after listening to the whole story. Every Hmong family go thru this kind of issue including our own family. The problem stem from children who can't watch their own kids and mothers who take sides. Elderly Hmong mothers are not fair as they do know how to treat all children fairly and equally. I hope that we women growing up in America learn to be more kind, love and respect our children equally.
Yog lawm lauv thaum yus los ua niam pog thiaj paub neviv ncaus aw
I bet this mil is listening to this story right now and has the audacity to say, oh this isn’t me because I love my daughter in laws like they are my own.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 right?? I can totally see my mil listening to this and saying that. 🤣
My niam pog would be one 🤣
Yog lawm og niam laub aw kv lub neej zoo raw nraim li zaj dag neeg nog thiab og thiab tsi ta log nwg yog pog tshiab xwg
Most mother in laws are like this. They will always complain about their nyab no matter what
Tus Viv ncaus aw ua Cas kuv lub neej yuav zoo xws li koj lub kiag li os mas tu siab tshaj li os
Hmoob os hmoob aw
Why are people so entitled now a days. Your kids, your responsibility. Be grateful she's watching them while you're working. If your mil didn't use your gift, she probably didn't like it and you didn't bother to get to know her enough to understand what her interest are. She's not picking favorites, you're playing the victim. You receive the love you give. Also, when you have expectations, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
100%
Her mil can’t eat that dam finger size gold chain, she just want to eat a dam hamburger, right?
Let's see you and your mil. Clearly you missed the whole point of the story.
Because of real life stories like this, Remember that we all will be Niam pog or Niam tais one day. When that day comes, I’m not watching no one’s kids. Period.
.....SOUNDS EXACTLY like my mother. 😆 But I forgive her but never forget. Be strong and cheers for a hard life instead of an easy one. Too sad to talk about when you're not a favorite son or not receiving equal treatment from parents compare to your siblings but it's ok. I still love my parents no matter what. Hope everyone will too. God bless to all who are in similar situations. 🙏
There has to be two side to this story. I would love to hear the Niam Pog side.
Tu siab tshaj li os yom yug lo ua tu nyab niam pog tsi nyiam
That’s why the in-laws have to live on their own
Niam poj loves all her daughters but expected all the nyab to bury them with every penny 😂
Karma will get your mil for being unfair. She should love your husband and his sister the same way.
Yug niam yog tus muab txoj sia e luag thiaj hlub yus tshaj niam pog ce saib yus yog tus los sab nrauv li tus qhua xwb lawv thiaj tsi xav hlub tsi pab yus zov me nyuam 😢
Hai rau kV lub neej kawg og niam laug aw
Niam tsuab teev aw txoj dab neeg ko ma zoo li kv thiab o yeej muaj li ko kawg o
Tsis hlub koj, koj thiaj tsis tshuav nws nqi ma...yus ua tau yus niam yus txiv lawm na.
Kuv ma xav li od.
Dont expect your mil to love you like her daughter...she babysit your kids everyday while you guys go work. You are lucky enough already...have big heart as long your hubby love you. I think you expect little too much from her.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a mother in law like that. Nothing i did was ever right & nothing is ever good enough for her. But the littlest thing her daughters did, they are praised for. I was the worst person ever just because I am a white hmong.
Thank goodness..... that was all in the past & life took me else where.
I pray you two can find peace within each other.
Yog kawg os peb twb zoo li ko thb tu tu siab los kav liam yuav tsis npam r yus yus yog nyab z lm na
That's every mother n law. I bought her a watch for xmas. She gave it to her daughter. My husband said just buy her food. So now I just buy her food. If she eats that's up to her. If you buy a person a gift but they don't appreciate just stop buying them gifts. These old folks they just want money.
I understand it feels unfair BUT your kids are your kids. You are obligated to take care of them. If your MIL is willing to care for them when u go work, just be grateful. I can't wait to get off work and care for my kids, and spend time with them. I take them everywhere I go. But besides work, the majority of the time , you should take care of them. And give up going out until your kids grow. And if you really want to go, find a different babysitter.
Agree! why make the mil work for them when they could just pay her to babysit.
Tus me ntxhais aw txhob tham tham os lub neej pog nyab ces leej twg tham ntau ntau ces tus ntawv yog tus phem xwb txog txij luag zov tus twg cov mi ntsis ces tus ntawv yeej hlub luag mi ntsis yeej yog li koj niam pog hais os yus los ntshe yeej hlub yus niam dua hos yus tus muam los kuj hlub nws niam dua thiab yus tham tham ces yus phem xwb os mog tus me ntxhais aw
Tus nyab raws li mloog mas tiag2 yog tim koj ntau dua lawm, 1 koj yuav kom hlub koj li koj niam pog hlub nws cov ntxhais, ua tib neeg sib ntxawv kev yuav hlub yuav tsi zoo ib yam tej zaum koj niam pog yuav hlub koj tshaj nws hlub nws cov ntxhais los nws hlub nws cov ntxhais tshaj hlub koj los muaj xob muab sib piv, 2 yog koj niam twb zov koj cov menyuam 8 xuaj moos ces cia niam pog ho pab zov cov ntxhais li thiab mas thiaj yog, qhov 3 koj niam pog tsi nyiam hais lus tab sis koj yog tus hais ntau tshaj li tab sis koj niam twb tsi cem koj li ne!! nws tsuas teb li koj pheej hais rau nws xwb naj!!.
Yus niam yus txiv thiab li hlub yus. Don’t be sad I am a sister and a daughter in laws. My mother always help me watch my kids and love my kids my sil always complain and come at me saying I got all my mother love but I disagree because my mother live with my sil and brother she help them with the rent and when she tell them she is coming over to my place to help me and relief her brain my sil always think of she is coming over to watch my kids! I’m sorry this sister feel this way but we need to hear the mother in law side of the story too.
I don't expect my mother in law to love me like her daughter because I can't love her like my own mother.
That’s a mentally these women can’t grab
I didn’t listen to the whole story because I got irritated at this nyab. Mi nyab learn to depend on yourself. Nobody is obligated to help you or do anything for you. Don’t depend on others that way you can’t be disappointed in your life. Every choice you make is up to you. No matter how much your mil loves or doesn’t love you it doesn’t matter. As long as she loves her son. That’s her son and she will always have love for her daughter she birthed. Just live your life. And love your husband.
For realz!!
1st 10 minutes then I conclude the story…
Kuv yeem ua nyab kuv tsis yeem ua niam pog, vim yug tau coob ces hlub tsis txhua.
Peb yuav tau kawm zaj neej neeg no es ua ib tug niam pog kom ncaj rau tus ntxhais thiab tus nyab es ob leeg thiaj tsis tus siab nawb. Tus niam pog no yeej ua tsis ncaj rau tus nyab lawm.
Zaj no hai yog tshaj plaws li os
Ntseeg tau tias niam pog yeej hlub tsis ncaj ncees thiab niam pog lub qhov ncauj los yeej lam tau lam hais tsis muaj tseeb rau sab rauv thiab thiaj muaj2 lus ntau yam..
Yog lawm mas! Every nyab los twb yuav tau ua niam pog thiab ces cia nyias mam take nyias qhov xwb laus yom, txog nyias thib ces nyias mam tom nplaig kiag xwb laus peb xav na , 😜😜
Ib txhia niam pog ces yeej tsi ncaj kiag li mas. Tos li tej menyuam tu2 siab thiab
This story is very sad, 😞
Keep doing your best if you do the right thing.
Kuv mloog koj cov lus mas koj yeej lhub koj niam tshaj koj niam pog tos nws tsis qhib koj pob khoom los ntshe koj twb yuav kaum pob rau kj niam lawm mam yuav lb pob rau nws ces nws thiaj chim lawm hnub kj ua niam pog kj mam paub os mog
Everyone just babysit your own kids and stop borrowing money from the mother, she is not a bank. There's to much drama going on you guys are grown adults deal with ur own problems. LEAVE THE PARENTS ALONE !!!!! EVERYONE IS BEING SELFISH FOR THEMSELVES.
Thank god my husband made it clear to my mil that whoever needs her to babysit have to come pick her up to their home. But yes my mil is the same too. No matter how good you are as a nyab she will always mention her daughters. BS! And OG likes to mention death when you bring out their wrongs and acted like the victim lol
Just on the babysitting issue i feel like this lady is ungrateful. Your mil has every right to do whatever she wants with her time and effort. You’re just mad she doesn’t want to watch your kids while you go out and play. So what if she’s willing to do this for others. She’s not obligated to do anything period. Just be grateful your mil is willing to watch them when necessary ( work, school, family events).
Cas poj niam ib yam tsis txawj sib hwm. Sib hlub. Tu siab kawg-
Tus viv ncaus aw cas koj txoj neej neeg no nim zoo li kuv txoj thiab os yus yog tus nyab lawv tsi nyiam ces ua npaum twg los luag yeej tsi qhuas li tiag
Peb ua neej nyob ces nyias yeej hus nyias kwj tse xwb mas koj yuav kom koj niam pog hlub koj li nws hlub nws tus ntxhais es yog li koj puas hlub koj niam pog li koj hlub koj niam mas
Mloog ua kev kawm nawb nej cov laus thiab peb cov tseem tab tom yuav mus ua niam pog na 😀
Hoyo cas peb cov niam pog thiab nyab mas cas yuav muaj teeb meem ua luaj li os. Can we just get along!
Koj tsis yog luag yug koj yuav kom luag hlub taus koj li yog luag yug tsis tau nawj mog me niam tsev...txawm koj yuav ua zoo tuag kus rau koj niam pog los luag yeej hlub luag roj ntshav tshaj koj nawj mog, muab hais ua tuas yaj tias yog tus nyab thiab tus ntxhais poob dej luag yeej xub muab luag tus ntxhais ua ntej nawj, hais me los yeej paub ntau lawm os
Nyia muaj nyia ntu o vim yog koj siab me xwb nawb
Same shoes here sister. Niam pog zov lawv cov me nyuam mas tsis paub mob thiab sab li but zov kuv 3 tug xwb mas yuav mob stroke li.
Lwm hnub koj yij meeg ua zoo rau kj tu me nyab nawb
Yes!!😔😔😔🙄
Niam laus mais vaj aw k caum kj ntev los kj txawj haig neej neeg heev os quaj los quaj ts taus luag los luag ts taus li tiag kj haig ib zaj r k thb os
Some like my in law too
Honesty, it her daughter, she love her daughter #1 than the nyab. Doesn't matter how good the nyab. Daughter #1
Zoo li kuv thiab os😢😢
Tus viv ncaus tsis yog koj tus niam pog xwb peb cov niam pog los lawv yeej tsis hlub peb li lawv cov ntxhais os, kuv tus niam pog kiag los yeej tsis hlub peb cov nyab li nws cov ntxhais, nws cov ntxhais hlub nws
Nyob zoo os niam laus
Niam pog ces 95% ces yeej zoo li koj zaj no xwb os me niam hluas thaum yus twb paub li ko ces yus cov ces yus txhob ua li rau xwb mog
Kuj tsis hnov koj niam pog sab tabsis yog coj li koj niam pog ko mas txawm nrog leej twg nyob yeej tsis haum li os! Txhob tu siab heev luag tsis hlub yus, yus thiaj tsis tshuav luag nqi os nawb..
Every life is different. I've always watched my own children with no help. It was hard. But I did it.
koj thiab kv txoj dab neeg ces nim zoo ib yam os yus tsis yog luag yug es yus yug tau me nyuam zoo ntxim yus hlub lo twb tsis ntxim luag hlub os mog lawv tus ntxhais yug tau twb yog me nyuam hmoob xwb lo lawv tias ntxim hlub heev xav mas chim siab tshaj tuag tsis xav pam li os
This is why say Idk why these elders are afraid to mus nyob pem nursing homes. Yus tau zoo tshaj li na! Instead of you having to cook for, feed, and change your grandchildren (and sometimes even great-grandchildren) diaper... people are cooking for you, feeding you, and changing your diaper! Tau zoo npaum li no lawm nas es pheej ntshai thiab tsis xav mus nus nyob tsev laus.🤦🏻♀️😄 Kawg tau pab tub thiab nyab zov yus tej xeeb ntxwv xwb.
Come on May, answer the question. You knew the answer.
Tsis hais koj niam pog, koj niam, kuv niam, kuv niam pog. They all just love who they love. Personal experience of mine, too. I guess we DAUGHTERS can't depend and expect fair treatment anyone at all....from any og. Only a few MOTHER will treat their daughter and daughter in law the same. You're blessed if you have that.
Idk about the rest of the nyabs but I know.for myself, I don't expect the same kind of love back. I know that I am only a nyab to my husband's family. And that's all I will receive. Don't expect too much from the in-laws!! You will only be disappointed
Cas tej nyab thiab muam no es pheej yuav sib khib ua luaj li os...yog lawv yug lawm ces lawv yeej hlub ib yam xwb mas es txhob sib sib khib os. Nej los yeej yuav txawj ua niam pog ib yam thiab, txog nej thib nej thiaj paub.
I’m surprised some of the comments agree with this person. I’m only 10 mins in and I have to say. Your mother in law is not responsible to watch your kids at all. Regardless if she’s not busy and just laying around. Regardless if she’s willing to watch someone else’s kids and not yours. You say she’s a perfect mil besides this babysitting issue but it sounds more of a personal issue to me.Your kids are your own responsibility. You should be grateful she’s watching them for the couple hours between you and your husbands work schedule. A lot of couples out there don’t have that advantage of an elder living with them to help and they have to pay for daycare or run around picking up their kids from family. Don’t be upset she’s honest with you and tells you no when it comes to watching your kids in the weekend. That just means she loves you and your husband because she can be honest with you two. I’m sure she doesn’t even want to babysit her daughters kids but she can’t say no because it’s her daughter. She feels obligated to and can’t say no even though she wants to. She knows she can be honest with you and your husband and you guys would understand and won’t go shaming her but here you are shaming your mil lmao.
Part 2 is coming soon. That’s Hmong darma mama’s
nyab os nyab awd....niam pog neb ces pauv lawm ces tsis tas ntxiv li os
Niam pog aw koj xav kom luag hlub koj mas koj yuav tsum hlub luag kom tau li tus tov hlub ma
All in laws will always play favorites, end of story. Don’t expect anything from them, let alone money or love.
Koj yog ib tug nyab tsis txawj xav, koj niam pog twb pab2 koj zov koj cov thaum koj mus ua hauj lwm lawm. Thaum koj mus ua si xwb koj tseem yuav kom nws pab koj zov npaum li ntawv thiab. Nws yuav zov cov muam cov los yog nws xav zov ce nyob ntxawm nws pob. To me I want to raise my own kids.