I think it best to remain focused on Dr. Z's important topics. While your comment may have been in good fun, there are many who will think it does not advance the discussion. In my experience, respectfully commentary is always the best policy.
I personally fall into the first category that you mentioned and explained, and I have also found that my _Asexual_ identity also contributes to my lack for dysphoric feeling towards my genitalia!! I have no reason to display my genitalia to any partner therefore I tend to not focus on what is hidden.
@@DRZPHD Im a trans lesbian who can be attracted towards both kind of genitals (or a bisexual who likes a wide wariety of woman and only feminine man idk tbh :/ ) and when I watch porn, sometimes I feel melancholic because I can't imagine how a vagina feels. At the same time I don't know if I would miss my penis if I would magically turn into a cis woman (I like thought experiments) Ok. Just by typing this I realized that I in fact would not miss my penis in that scenario. -_- Thx for giving me a reason to type this down I guess .
@@DRZPHD Yes I agree. My gender dysphoria is most profound when we have sex. In addition I suffer with issues related to intersex that doesn’t help. From a young age I never cared that I wasn’t a well developed male, in fact I really preferred that I was not. When at last I did start puberty of sorts. I did find someone to love and marry. She accepted me right away and realizes I have these physical and phycological issues. This all happened way before the days when people spoke of transsexuals and intersex. We just made our life work. After I developed testicular / ovarian type cancer it became clear that I could be defined as being trans. In time my wife came to agree and fully accepted me little by little. I’m still work in progress and I need to start therapy again as I slowly come out. When my dysphoria cannot be suppressed I dress for my spouse and she and I show our love as two women. A wonderful thing. My spouse and I after all these years are starting a new level of love for one another. Something we have been forced to do for most of our married lives but now is takes on new meaning.
@@hoerlli Thank you very much. I was remembering some of the things my spouse once told me after we were married for a couple of years. She said that I was not like any man she ever knew and much preferred this so much. Of course I didn’t know what being transgender was I simply did what seemed natural for me and what my under developed body could do. I really hated being male and upon reflection I spent a great deal of time learning to enjoy what I’ve come to realize that I was female.
When I cracked my egg 6 months ago it wasn't clear to me if I had genital dysphoria or not. I have it but it wasn't my main focus. Case #1 is spot on. I am much more focussed on secondary sex characteristics because it's in my relationship with others that I feel the most discomfort. I want to be socially seen as a woman and look like one. I can hide my genitals, but I can't hide my face. Secondary sex characteristics are a much bigger concern at the moment. I expect the focus to shift once I start looking more feminine but I'm not there yet.
I remember having genital dysphoria as a child. I would often tuck my male bits in and I remember feeling so good when I looked at myself in the mirror at myself looking like I have female genitals. As I've commented before on other videos of yours, I repressed my trans feelings for years after that and have only started my social transition but all through those years I have actually grown to love my male genital. It's weird but I am very comfortable with it and like you said, I truly feel that my genitalia does not define my gender 😊
I'm a lesbian woman, but I will never date another trans who isn't post-op. And if any cis lesbian ever dates a person with penis, he will be in inferior position, treated like weird femboy and a provider. I don't believe in non-binary and gender-fluidity fraud.
This was very helpful, thank you! As a born female and feeling genderfluid, I don‘t really experience that much dyshoria with the genitalia that I have, it‘s more like something I don‘t really have a connection with. It is something that gives me pleasure and that I clean in the shower, that‘s it. But I can get very dysphoric about what I don‘t have, male genitalia. This is something I wish I had a lot and not having it, missing everything I could do with it, makes me really sad.
Completely out of respect, but what were you searching about transgender people to be recommended such a niche category? As a trans woman, I'm sincerely interested in what cis people TH-cam about us
@@MarshaBrady88 I'm just a guy interested in feminine things so I tend to get a lot of this kind of stuff recommend, I don't know if that's the case for this guy though.
It is very reassuring to hear this! I fit into the third category and never had genital dysphoria as a trans man and heard from a health profrssional that I couldn't be trans because of that (I socially transitioned 6 years ago but never did any surgery or took hormones). So I am really glad this kind of content is being made available to younger audiences which still have to hear so many misconceptions about how they can express their gender identity, if I had seen this video 6 years ago I would have felt much better. Wonderful job and thank you very much!
I’ve never heard the terms “trans identified men” and “trans identified women” but I really like it! It feels somehow more affirming than simply “trans woman” or trans man
@@DRZPHD There is a problem, and is that those are way too close to the way TERFs call us... This is the first time I see these used in a positive way.
@@milo616 i highly doubt a TERF would call a trans woman a “trans identified woman”. They probably call trans men that, which is basically the exact opposite of this and what all transphobes already do (ie call trans women trans men and vice versa)
For myself, a pre-transition gay FTM, I cannot at all tolerate anything to do with my chest (COVID-19 is literally the only reason I'm not scheduled for surgery yet). I'm somehow mostly okay with my genitals, but think I also would've been happy if I'd been born with male genitals instead. If my partner treats me as male, I'm usually able to ignore the gender association.
Sam Jackson i relate a lot to this! i am transmasc and mostly attracted to men. i do not want bottom surgery, but i also know that i wouldn’t mind if i was born with male genitals.
Thanks for making this video! I'm FtM and predominately experience chest dysphoria, but have never really felt bottom dysphoria, and I've always wondered why that was. I feel I relate more with the third category, as I don't really associated genitals with any particular gender. I see people just as people, and view them as whatever gender they identify as. I can also relate a little with the second category too, because when I was first seriously questioning my gender identity and was in a really emotionally vulnerable place, I was in my first relationship with someone who happened to be an enby - so they really understood how I was feeling and was really supportive. I felt like I was finally viewed as the person I was, rather than the gender I was assigned as. I think that definitely helped me feel more comfortable in my body, and made me realise that there are people out there that will love me for just me, which was something that I was worried about before that relationship. Of course that's just my experience, but it was really good to learn about some other experiences, and know it's not just me!
Thank you for sharing and thats great that you dont assign gender to genitals. In my view, thats the best option but I do understand due to cultural constructs its not possible for everyone.
Yes! I thought I didn't have genital dysphoria before I had top surgery, but as soon as I got that “off my chest”, it became very clear that I do very much struggle with genital dysphoria. Great topic, Dr. Z! Thank you.
Reading the comments, I realize I'm very lucky that I don't have any genital dysphoria. I'm not a sex worker, but I relate to the last categories. I've been in a long term relationship way before transitioning and I see my genitals as nothing other than a functional body part that is able to provide pleasure.
This video was very interesting! I am non-binary. I have had dysphoria around my AFAB parts ever since I was around four years old. I knew something was wrong when my brother was born and he wasn't the same as me-- I was supposed to have what my brother had. From then I would pretend that I had male parts and exist very annoyed with my own anatomy. Somehow for almost all of middle school and high school it was buried by my brain... And since I started my twenties it has slowly crept back in like a zombie and now it is here and it is alive and extremely distressing very often... My chest, however, does not bother me at all and in fact it feels very correct as well as my other secondary sex characteristics, but I do feel animosity toward my internal female organs. If I had male secondary sex characteristics it would feel very wrong... its just the male primary sex organs that are supposed to be there... It consistently is extremely upsetting and I break down and cry often at jokes and references made about genitalia, so I'm trying to censor things around me to minimize exposure...
Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your dysphoria around genitalia. You are certainly not alone as there are many who feel intense dysphoria toward genitals.
Hey, thanks for this. I'm also nb afab and I present really femme, but while I don't have bad genital dysphoria it definitely feels awkward, to say the least. I always feel like maybe I'm not "real" since in basically every other aspect I am a " woman" (at least in regards to society); it's validating to hear someone else has similar feelings.
I relate to this a lot. Well i dont experience body dysphoria that badly and i do feel somewhat uncomfortable with my chest. But i definetly experience strong desire to have male genitalia and the subject surrounding female reproduction upsets me. However what helps me with the mild dysphoria is that i think of my parts as being male. Like my nipples are male because men have nipples, some men have big chests, the female genitalia is made of the same things as male genitalia and has a lot of the same sensations. I think of my parts as being male or nonbinary because thats what i am even though they dont look the same as cis mens.
@@sweetsirenaine Your statement really means a lot to me, that is exactly what I have been struggling with for the past couple of years (the not feeling "real"). Finally this year I have been able to accept the fact that I'm NB trans and be able to refer to myself as such in medical/other care professional settings. I do still have a strong fear of not being taken seriously, however, but thankfully the professionals I have spoken to so far have been understanding.
@@MidnightEkaki Thank you! Oh, I totally understand the trigger of female reproductive talk... Like, in my case I am able to talk about it in cold, clinical terms because they're parts that are relevent to my flesh prison in its current state. But like, when people are talking about it in ONLY terms of function in reference to what its useful for to other people and pregnancy I have to peace out. That is a very good idea to think of things that way, as parts being neutral. I should to further reinforce that with myself on a daily basis... ✌
Yeah. No genital dysphoria. But I've indicated that I'm open to the idea of bottom surgery and I'm supposed to meet with a surgeon to discuss the possibility next time I meet with my therapist. Hopefully I'll be starting HRT by then as well. That aside, gender dysphoria is so weird. Sometimes it feels like it's punching you in the gut and then nothing for days. That's when the doubts start creeping in. 🙄
@@DRZPHD I just realized that autosuggest changed "genital" to "gender" in my post. Fixed now, but of course I have gender dysphoria. It's genital dysphoria that I don't consciously feel at the moment.
I've never had dysphoria around my genitals, though I've been curious (very curious) what it would feel like to have sex as a woman or to not have all this flesh hanging off of my body. I love my genitals as they are though. It could be because I am genderfluid and sometimes really feel good as a man, but it could also be that I just enjoy the pleasure it gives me.
Mental health is one of the most complex issues we face. I love that your out here giving helpful advice. I do have some genitalia dysphoria, most of it is like you said, hyper focused on the outside. Hair for me....lack their of on top and the hair I'm in pressed to remove..bottom surgery is absolutely scary for me. So many ways things can get messed up and future complications in turn destroys in my mind the whole process. I'm sure I'm not only one on that? Thank you for all your hard work. Look forward to your next video.
Interesting...that was my experience. I didn’t have genital Dysphoria till I began living 100% full-time female. Only then did I begin to think about having SRS. I had surgery thee months ago and it was magical for me. I love my new vagina. I am insanely happy with my new lady parts. I never imagined that I would ever get this far with my transition.
@@AR-ed8jp are you just a troll, or are you interested in meaningful dialog? Are you basing your hypothesis on something real, or just a hope you have trans women couldn’t possibly really exist? Unfortunately, I can only speak for myself, I don’t claim any domain over trans women generally, though I am a trans woman. I was diagnosed about 7years ago, by three different therapists. I live my life as a woman, since 4 years ago. For many years (as long as I can remember), I crossdressed in front of a mirror never quite knowing why. Watching my reflection with a vacant stare. This went on at semi regular intervals, till I turned 57 and started hearing voices telling me to embrace my inner cross dresser. The voices kept me awake at night, I couldn’t sleep and I felt suicidal. In a last ditch effort to save my own life, I scheduled an appointment with a therapist. The first therapy session was difficult at first, but by the end I felt so relieved that I wasn’t going crazy that being diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, didn’t seem like a big deal. Just talking about my cross dressing silenced the voices. I was feeling good. But the diagnosis was a big deal, so I sought a second and third opinions. When all the therapists agreed. I heed my first therapist’s advice. Together we decided on a path of discovery to help me determine my next steps to help keep the voices quiet. My first therapist diagnosis has been proven time and time again, by other therapists and my personal experiences. You may be right about one thing. I don’t always feel like a woman, and occasionally I do still feel like a man. I may never entirely get over those 57 years of male role play. I know that I am a woman, just like someone knows they are left handed, even if they’ve spent 57 years trying to write with their right hand. Writing with the left still feels natural. Living as a woman feels right to me. That’s my reality, and I’m okay with it regardless of the haters and doubters. And now. when I look in the mirror, all I see is my feminine image (head to toe) smiling back at me. I am exceedingly happy with feminine self. I wish you that same level of happiness. Sara
i personally don’t feel any genital dysphoria, at the moment anyway. who knows it could change throughout my transition also, thank you for your videos they help so much! your amazing❤️
I am MtF and have preferred to have a vagina for a long time. My genital dysphoria has grown as I have socially, medically and legally transitioned. Great video!
I have to say that I'm experiencing ups and downs in how intensely I feel dysphoric. I'm a trans man and as you said, not being in a relationship I never really had a cause to experience genital dysphoria. Not until one day I had a particularly vivid dream where in the dream I was fully in a male body. It felt so real and I felt so whole that I cried when I woke up it was realised it was not reality. Since then I feel this sensation of loss and anxiety more than before and even though I try to phase it out of my mind (with varying success) it's still there constantly. I have never considered bottom surgery before that experience, but I have been more and more since then.
For me it's really weird..its anytime I actually see down there. Like when I use the restroom my mind is like "omg where did it go???" 😂😂 and then it's like "oh yeah..😔" that's the best way I can explain 😂😂
I don't think I experience genital dysphoria, but I have to say... one of the scariest parts after finally accepting myself, and coming out to people close to me is the realization of all these repressed feelings/memories, and the notion that I may not be able to trust what I'm telling myself that I'm feeling about something at any given moment. Why didn't anybody ever tell me emotions were difficult before I decided to start dealing with them? Lmao.
I absolutely love this video! You explanations are so approachable and informative. The way in which you talk is so approachable and makes me feel so much more at ease thinking about my own transition and how I process my dysphoria and related anxiety.
I had ONLY genital dysphoria. I had bottom surgery but that's all. I happen to be intersex. I actually need top surgery as well, because I have breast tissue that doesn't align with my male presentation. Ever since I was 11 years old I've basically wanted to be an intact transman, but I was labeled male because doctors in 1982 didn't recognize the signs of mild androgen insensitivity. Bottom surgery was fantastic and I'm extremely happy now.
This is so true. Even though I always intended to have genital surgery, I wasn't bothered by my genitals, but as I progress in my transition, I want bottom surgery more and more.
Thank you so much for this video. It is spot-on in terms of the experience I had. At the beginning of my gender transition, I wasn't at all concerned about lower surgery. Then, after top surgery, my feelings about my genitals changed and I seemed to suddenly develop genital dysphoria. Because it was seemingly so sudden, I really doubted myself at first, but I began to understand that the genital dysphoria had likely always been there, I was just focused on more crucial things to change, and once those things, eg hormones, and top surgery, were done, there plain to see was my lower dysphoria. I like how you describe this as the 'dormancy effect' and it makes complete sense. I also think my lack of genital dysphoria was due to the fear I felt about lower surgery. There was so much negativity about it when I started my journey. I didn't think successful lower surgery was possible, so I think I pushed any genital dysphoria away. This video is so helpful for other trans folks who find their feelings change through transition, and it is so helpful for me to see this as it validates my experience. Thank you for making this! I've only just discovered your channel and I am loving your content and nodding along! I recently made a video about this myself, which might be interesting for folks wanting to see this experience from the perspective of a trans man. th-cam.com/video/zY-RGdNFHoY/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for contributing that this in fact happened to you as well. And yes, since genital surgery for trans man or trans masculine is one of the most complicated surgeries, ones you decide on it, the fear can take over and make you question it. Thanks for also sharing your great channel resources, I will add your channel to my website resource page. Nice to meet you Finn and thank you for shoutout of my channel on yours!
@@DRZPHD my absolute pleasure! I am loving your videos! So much of what you speak about resonates exactly with my experiences through transition! And thanks for adding my videos to your resources!
To me as a 21 y/o trans woman that’s been medically transitioning for 2 years, I‘ve never felt super connected to my genitalia, and in sexual contexts, there is also a feeling of disconnect but also discomfort, now recently I‘m thinking more about the idea of getting srs, because the idea of having a vagina seems more comfortable than what I have now, I don’t hate what I have now, but I feel more or less uncomfortable with it sometimes and always not very connected, I relate to the first type you described. Thank you for the video ❤️
hello and thank you, very helpful and informative video! I've identified straight away with he dormant category... I was never overly concerned with bottom surgery but 11 years into my transition I find myself wanting total freedom, both emotionally and physically and I feel I am coming to terms with the fact that bottom surgery could be the gateway to a freer life.
Over time you really do end up playing a part in a play. The only time I feel that I can smile sincerely is after a proper tucking. The effect looks much better to me. I'm not sure if it's related but I haven't felt comfortable not wearing some kind of top since I was a child. I feel very self-conscious if I'm not wearing a top of some kind even in private.
Im not experiencing it much at the moment. For the exact reasons you stated here... my girlfriend loves me the way I am and I'm still focussing on other things. I think that my focus will probably shift to my genitals in a few years, once I've had top surgery. Good and helpful video as always, dr Z!
I am a transgender man, 52 years of age, and yes, I did have genital dysphoria as a child. But when I became an adult I did accept my female genitalia. I am used to it now and I don't want any genital surgeries because of the risks involved. Although I am happy with my mastectomy and I still consider to go on testosterone because people now assume I am a butch lesbian, which I am not. I want to be seen as the man I am inside and without testosterone this is not possible.
Body and facial hair was the only source of dysphoria I had ever noticed. Then I had full body and facial laser and started electrolysis on the greying hairs. It felt wonderful to not see all that hair. But then I started to notice how my genitals now felt uncomfortable for me. Thank you for explaining why that was. That was basically what I thought was happening. The hair was such a large issue for my that the rest of the signals got lost in the noise.
I recently came out and didn't feel any genital dysphoria until recently. I don't feel attractive at all and my partner has lost sexual attraction to me as well due to my starting transition and my new found discomfort with my genitals. Thanks your videos always help me think things out.
That is unfortunately a very common experience. The only advice I can give you is to have patience and tread lightly if you want to preserve your relationship.
This has been UNBELIEVEABLY helpful. My chest dysphoria was so intense and completely different to how I feel about my genitals. For so long I've just conditioned myself to "ignore" them i.e. not look at them in the mirror or let anyone else see them etc. I know they're wrong but there's no emotion behind how I feel if that makes sense? Like there's no deep longing to have a penis, like it was for me to have a flat chest. Having said that, especially recently as I've developed a lot more body hair and got a bit bulkier, I do feel a bit more dysphoria when I'm out and about, like I'm "naked" and there should be a bulge there. I'm still on the list to get referred etc. for surgery but it'll take ages anyway as I've already pushed it back a year to think about it. But it is very easy for me to slip into the habit of thinking that my dysphoria isn't "valid" enough to warrant such a major surgery. At least I'll be able to mull it over for the next couple of years as there's no pressure at the moment.
prior to witnessing this video, i feel my gender dysphoria is the main trigger for me.. my gender expressions okay, as a teen i undermined it, that i think about it now, i am bittersweet glad because you just can't fake it & i just never agreed with my assigned sex. Oow. Go Dr. Z
Hi Dr Z, I tired to look for a previous comment from me on this video but didn't find it. Historically I've had some indifference to getting GCS, feeling that the only people it should matter to is me and my significant other. Lately though, I find myself aspiring to look feminine in ALL ways, including the area between my legs. To be able to wear clothes without a concern for hiding under clothes what doesn't match my gender. I somehow see it as "reaching for the gold ring" to be undisputed as a woman in all ways and form, as if the way I am now has not reached that goal. This video does feel a part of what I am now going through. Thank you Dr Z for ALL YOU DO! Hugs! Christie 🙂
As for me, many aspects of my body dysphoria manifested after I started socially transitioning. I haven't taken any medical steps yet but in the last few months I realized a feeling of slight genital dysphoria. It's mostly a feeling around wanting to have the feeling of having something between my legs (my packer arrived today and I really hope it helps). The point is that I cannot really tell where it stems from. First of all, because I am non-binary and find myself pretty much in the middle of male and female (with slight fluctuations to both sides of the spectrum), second, because I am asexual (like, that kind of asexual who never ever wants to have sex with anyone in any situation, no matter how close I am to a certain person), so actually I "do not really need my genitals", so why do I still have dysphoria around them? It sometimes leaves me questioning if my dysphoria can even be real if there's no proper explanation to it.
Thanks for sharing and it could be potentially due to gender expression or a need to have a masculine expression even if you identify as non binary since your identity fluctuates. In this sense, genitals are less related to sexuality but more to masculinity.
I don't experience genital dysphoria and at first this was one of the things I used to tell myself that I wasn't /really/ trans. It took a lot to get beyond that, and I'm still struggling with it a bit, but I did work in the sex trade for a while and it may be that I'm viewing my genitals more as a sexual organ than one associated with my gender. I may also fall victim to dormant genital dysphoria. Only time will tell.
Very useful information, thank you so much for clarifying a few things)) I fall into the 3rd category I think.. Never felt dysphoric about my genitals, but on the other side I want to be seen completely as a woman and therefore feel sometimes extremely dyshopiric about my face, chest, voice etc.. I have transitioned socially and legally already and am about to start my HRT in a few weeks time, which feels like a huge relief except for one thing.. I am worried how it can effect on my sexual life, cause I am not only ok with having my gadget, but I also wan't to use it to a degree or at least not become completetly asexual, cause sex can become problematic, painful or just bland with no feeling and etc.. Therefore I still have some doubts if HRT is the right choice for me.. Would be really happy to hear anybody's opinions or experiences in that matter😊
I'm a trans ftm and i don't experience any genital dysphoria for the opposite reason of number 2, I'm asexual so i don't really have a need for any reproductive organs because I'm not going to be using it and it just feels useless to get surgery for a reproductive organ that I'm not going to need.
I agree with you on the fact that if you don't really need genitals (as in sexual function or congruency) than there is no need to put your body through surgery. ITs great that you know that and are not working hard fitting some form of mold.
Dr. Z, this post went in a different direction than I expected. I thought it would be about the difference between gender dysphoria and age dysphoria, both of which I have experienced. Being a stealth transgender woman since the 1970s both came together when I had facial surgery about three years ago, FFS on my brow and facelift on my neck, the latter of which was of more concern to me at the time. In many ways I feel more confident now that I went through this experience and the renewing of HRT after being off it for more than 20 years. (Continued)
OMG...thank you...I have wondered this for soo long, because all my trans sisters all talk about Dysphoria about their genitals, and i never understood why I didn't have the same feelings and it made me question if i was even trans... THANK YOU!!!!!!
Hello there doc ! As always I'm just here again to appreciate ur great work and to gain some knowledge abt things and thank you ! For doing what none else is doing ! Thank you !
I (as far as my current experience goes) fall into one extra category: I do not experience genital dysphoria because I'm quite strictly asexual. My reproductive organs are never at the forefront of anything, be it relationships, masturbation or anything like that. As an AFAB person, the one gripe I have with my organs is menstruation as it is inconvenient, sometimes makes my body feel bloated and is often painful. I also don't like the idea of being able to get pregnant (in case something unsavory ever happens to me). Other than that, my relationship with my external organs is merely one of maintaining hygiene and physical comfort. It's secondary characteristics that really drive me up the walls as I haven't been able to access top surgery yet and it tips the scales when people look at me and try to figure out what binary category they think I fall under.
thank you so much :) this video helped a lot. ive been confused latley about my gender wondering if im trans ftm or not. all ive been hearing is trans people having bottom dysphoria and ive been doubting myself saying that im probably not just because i dont have much bottom dysphoria. like i’d be fine with either genital, i dont really care. so this video made me feel much better. ❤️
As a trans man, bottom surgery was never even a serious thought for me. I'm asexual and so my genitals are like 100% just for me (or maybe my doctors) to see and so it just doesn't seem to be worth the hustle to be honest. The typical male genitalia is also quite repulsive to me so I have no urge to make my body look like that haha. For me, I'd probably get more insecure about the scars from the skin grafts than my current genitalia. This is such a personal thing but it's valid either way! You're alright.
Yeah, I started experiencing genital dysphoria. Exactly as you said it would happen. I haven’t socially transitioned yet. I just…I still need to socially transition one day. Also, I’m researching what all goes into bottom surgery. There’s an aftermath, so I want to make sure I’ll be fine with the commitment of medical procedures. One last note, before body modifications I’m just getting comfortable with my trans identity first.
I've never connected genitals to gender. I don't know why I just don't. I don't really question things like this I just run with it. I do not experience any dysphoria whatsoever from having the genitals I was born with. There is 2 sources of dysphoria there but they're caused by a mild case of injury caused Peroniey's and circumcision no doubt it would be the same if I were a cis man. The first dysphoria I felt was from not having a vagina. I have no idea why or where it came from. This started in 1993 when I was 9 and didn't even know trans people exist. As my puberty went on other dysphoria developed. I embraced it all from the start too. I forced the relevant dysphoria into dormancy by the time I was 17 because the thought of bottom surgery was extremely dysphoric and euphoric but I didn't want to break things that work and accepted having both is impossible. In 2019 I learned of several surgeons who do penis preserving vaginoplasty so I'm getting this as soon as I get funding sorted.
I've noticed that gender issues seem to have taken over social media as the flavour of the month in a way that I could never have been foreseen 30 years ago, so here is my contribution...I am MtF now aged 76, & began transitioning at the age of 58 & had SRS 16 years ago at the age of 60. I first noticed what is now termed gender dysphoria at the age of 5, but, of course, was unable to understand it until well into my teens. I absolutely grew to hate my male bits & so it was obviously priority to remove them ASAP. Now 16 years later I consider that SRS was by far the best thing that I ever did & would do it again without question. I only regret waiting for so long. For a deeper understanding of the subject I would refer readers to the Harry Benjamin MtF scale which basically defines a continuum from level 1 to 6, where 1 refers a man who might cross dress once a month to level 6 which refers to man who wants total feminisation...I don't know about the FtM, but I suspect that they are a mirror image, but the other way round if you see what I mean. Since coming out as TS in 2002 I must have met hundreds of people of all ages & all nationalities from hundreds of backgrounds, but all with the same desire. I think that one of the hardest things in life is to know yourself....
Margaret Pepper it seems that these gender issues are not as "rare" as is often suggested... Where in the world do you live?... I'm sorta fascinated ( in a good way!) that you have met so many people with these issues...
This wasn’t really covered in the video. My experience (as a pre medical transition trans identified man), my genital dysphoria is mostly piss dysphoria. I see it as an organ that can give and receive pleasure (i think this is also helped by having a long term partner) and don’t have much sexual genital dysphoria but the fact that I don’t piss through a tube makes me really dysphoric (but usually comes in waves when i am in a generally compromised mental state and is definitely less intense than chest, face, and voice dysphoria).
Alexia van der Westhuizen sometimes, bot NOT always, as Dr Z so wonderfully explained in this video. I hope things will get better for you as you go forward in your journey...💙
Hello Doctor Z phd . I m at the beginning of my femiization . I am 54 old . I ve got a requiest. For you . Since one week . Do you think that it s better to continue this threatment. BY binaural beat What Do you think about . I t effective Really Thanx . YOU ARE beautyful woman
Thank you Dr. Z this is a very good and informative video. I have had a lot of questions on genitalia and transitioning this really a lot of good information
This video made me subscribe. I‘m questioning my gender and have been for years. It‘s becoming harder and harder. The fact that I‘m not experiencing genital dysphoria always made me feel like an impostor. Thank you for helping me!
I am at the verge of discovering whether I am trans or not. I would never have a bottom surgery as long as my genitals work. So I would put myself into the 3rd category. I don't think I experienced any dysphoria - at least not that I know or I could identify as such. Though I am quite a feminine guy (lack of body hair, weak facial hair, wide hip, narrow shoulders etc.) so there might not be much to be dysphoric about. With my long hair I easily get mistaken für a woman even when I am not crossdressing - though over the last year there is barely a single day where I didn't went to work, shopping etc. dressed like a woman. And I love it! ♥♥♥ I only wished I wasn't flat like a board, but that might change. When I first tried breast forms it immediately felt good and right. Soon I will get a new pair (in a hopefully more comfortable size) and as with my dresses I will get more comfortable wearing them in public.
Dr. Z, yesterday my dysphorias took an unexpected but happy turn. I went to see a friend perform at a local restaurant. We last saw each other less than two years ago. He is a few years older, I am stealth and we first met when he acted in a musical I wrote. I was off HRT for more than 20 years until about four years ago but I got by for 40 years. I saw him before his show yesterday and called out to him and he didn’t recognize me at first until I got closer and identified myself. Being blunt and 79 he blurted out that I looked so much more feminine and obviously lost weight. Actually, I had gained weight but it has been redistributed somewhat, not enough for me in the mirror but…Anyway, I passed all those years and he thought I looked a little masculine. I never got that feeling from anyone. I don’t know how to feel. I’m glad I look feminine now but I am bothered that I didn’t pass as well as I thought before. Does that make sense?
It's just simply not the answer your looking for. The #1 surgery is transition back, what they don't tell you is horrible unhappiness, very high suicide rate and so on. Just keep the body God gave you, it's just fine.
I have been medically diagnosed with gender dysphoria disorder, genitalia dysphoria, 13 years ago. It's the reason why I'm transsexual. Without any gender/genitalia dysphoria, I wouldn't even be trans, there'd be no reason to come out. I was supposed to be born a cis woman, not a feminine Male. I just don't freaking get why there's trans people that don't have gender/dysphoria disorder. It's like pulling a tooth without having a toothache, why even do it. It doesn't make sense to me.
Thank you for sharing. I believe you are alluding to the problem with language and that currently, we put pretty much all gender non comforting people under transgender umbrella. I hear you. You fall into camp of trans binary, formerly known as transsexual. Someone who strongly identifies with opposite sex period, and wants all surgeries to achieve congruency. Thank you for your comment.
@@DRZPHD I came out before WPATH changed, went all the way down the trans roadmap and every checkpoint. I know WPATH changed, but I'll admit, all that I did made me appreciate my transition and my journey more and having "transgender" on all my medical paperwork saves me a lot of trouble and constant explaining
I fit pretty perfectly into the second category- I have been married to my husband for 25 years and he fully supports me. Bottom dysphoria isn't really a problem for me most of the time. Only every now and then I feel a bit ... incomplete , but it usually goes away again.
Thank you so much for your videos, they are so helpful and I have learned so much bout myself. I can definitely identify with your first description - at the moment my focus i significantly on changing those external features to be more feminine. I dream of having wider hips, breasts and more a feminine face. Thank you so much Dr Z, you are helping so many people
I can’t even fathom cutting mine off, we are simply old friends and I came to terms along time ago with it. The most important aspect to me, transitioning of the mind, I am 38 and came to a mutual arrival of mind body and spirit, and nearly instantly my physical aspect changed I lost 50 lbs and look 10 years younger and feel it. Starting hrt sooon.
Thank you so much Dr. Z. I personally fall in the 3rd category. Although I have dated transgender women that are very dysphoric about their genitals. This can cause issues when it comes to being intimate with them. Me being the communicative type of woman we always seem to work through it. Thank you again for all of your fabulous words.
Just a few days ago I felt okay with body and it made me think Im not trans. But I only felt that way for a day. Its confusing me, so thank you for this video! And what you said about seeing my genitals as just a sexual organ makes so much sense to me in terms of why I don't always have dysphoria about them.
Wow, another great video that is right on by Dr. Z. I fall into categories 1 and 2. I expect as my transition continues the dormancy Dr. Z describes will become less potent for me, i.e., I will have more genital dysphoria. I would add a separate sub-category for category 2. I would call it age related genital acceptance. I do have a long term satisfying relationship, but not a lot of sexual contact which may or may not be a function of my age. It is very loving and caring and that is most important. I have started transitioning that includes HRT at a much older age, 68. As such, I have a lot of ambivalence about surgeries. It seems if I invest time in them, I lose precious time to focus on other parts of my transition. Added to this is my concern my partner may not find surgeries I could undertake as acceptable. Also, on some level when I think of altering my genitals I have a sense that I may be losing something that is a fundamental part of me. Kind of like having to say good-bye to an old friend. Nevertheless, I very much appreciate that my gender dysphoria will probably become more focused on my genitals as I get further along in my transition.
i’m still a baby transman- I feel apathetic towards my body because i have a relatively flat chest already, and i present androgynous so everything is covered up. i feel like my dysphoria towards my genitalia will start/increase when i finally get read as a male irl :/
I remember I didn't always feel dysphoria about male genitals. They were just there, an annoyance yet not really any worse than a wart or other strange growth. It was only later in life when I tried to explore transitioning that my dislike for them really started to ramp up, mainly as I have a very masculine body and being able to 'pass' as female isn't an option. The genitals became a large focus point as they were something I saw as the reason everything else was wrong, a uniquely masculine component that started to hate more and more. Whether it's wrong to think this way or not, the secondary sexual characteristics almost became less important as I never felt like I could really be female with the way I look. Now getting rid of the genitals is all I really focus on as even though it's a part only I will ever see, having that gone feels like it could be the only way to no longer feel male.
This is always a complex issue, and I know I am not much difference in this area. I definitely feel like I fit into category one. My first priority was HRT, hair removal and voice training. These are the outward presenting signs when out and about in general life. The further I have gone with my transition, I the more dysphoria I feel with other areas. I haven't decided if FFS is something I want, I don't feel I 100% need it (I've never had a visible adams apple, my features are neutral and so my main dysphoria is my brow bone). I struggle to decide if my want for it is cosmetic or dysphoria related. I'm not sure I can or will ever detangle that mess. One thing I never had, was chest/breast dysphoria. I never stopped dating/relationships and I feel this has caused it to slowly begin creeping up on me, especially since I am in that odd mid transition phase with breast growth. If I wasn't still developing (and therefore simply cannot do anything) top surgery would be my highest priority. In regards to the main topic on genitalia, I have had very low level dysphoria my entire life, I suppose the best way to describe it is apathy. It always affected sexual activity with a partner, never when I was alone, seeing it, others seeing it etcetera. This was something I experienced way before I understood what dysphoria was. At the beginning of my transition I was confident that I had no genital dysphoria or it was at such a low level it would never require me to want/need bottom surgery. Now, I recognise I have some dysphoria with it, because I do not want to use it as a sexual organ. At this point however, I do not want SRS but I have already been considering that this may change at some point in the future, especially after hearing more and more other binary transpeople's experiences.
It's the reverse for me. I have more genital dysphoria as I can't function sexually, and for some awkward reason I find that the way I see myself is too private and none of other people 's business, so I allude to my preferred gender but don't give clues as to who I really am. I've been so used to hide away during decades I can't undo it
Really interesting. I'm afab and just beginning medical transition Wednesday with Testosterone. I'm not as focused anymore on passing socially, and the dysphoria actually calmed down because of that. It's still there but not exaggerated because I'm not focused on it. I know I want top surgery, though I'm not sure when. I don't want bottom surgery unless the results are very good and it's not there yet by my standards. I do want a prosthetic though, and get dysphoric most about having to sit down to pee, of all things. I've tried stp packers and could not get that to work for me. I do like having something there, it feels more comfortable. Usually I can forget something is off though, and like you mentioned my focus is more on the results from testosterone. I've been stalled on my medical transition for 7 years now, so I had to really come to terms with this being the body I'm living in, and that helped a lot with the dysphoria. It's less a "female" body and more just mine. Also have been really getting in shape and that helps too.
Thank you for sharing and all the things you engage in, in an attempt to be more comfortable should also decrease any potential genital dysphoria. In the end, it is often about personal body comfort and adaptability.
Thank you for the explanations!! I'm nonbinary and trans and would've really needed the "plan for potential dysphoria" five years or so ago, because my dysphoria gives me so much stress that I get a fever and can't breathe properly every time I think of it. I just got my first binder and it helps a bit but my partner and a lot of other people tend to "see past my gender" to be able to relate to me easier and place me in the woman box however much I struggle to get out of it. I'm definitely in the dormancy category. I have to fight to not repress and punish feelings of dysphoria and attempts at solving things. Then again being too aware is really painful.
This is why a lot of relationships fail and family bonds break when people transition. They simply can't mentally adapt to the change in the "person they knew" and one common reaction of the TG person is to suppress to avoid that conflict, which then just makes it manifest in all sorts of "fun and interesting" ways. I hope you find a way.
I’m early in transition (1 year, slow mover) but your description of the *dormant* first category seems to fit my case perfectly. Hair, facial appearance, hiding facial hair, smoothness all over and increasing dislike for my voice. These are the things I focus on along with how to come out and be me while doing as little damage to relationships with friends and family. I’d be lying if I said it was never sexual but as I approach 60 it’s less sexual and just an overall spirit of well being that comes across me when I’m free to be Monique. M xx 💋
Thanks for this video! I have been struggling a lot with chest and hip dysphoria but haven't really had much bottom dysphoria. I was really questioning what that means. Not sure why it is yet but its validating to know its not just me.
Yup, many don't experience genital dysphoria. Just keep in mind that it can be in a dormant state like I explained. It may not be, but just be mindful.
I have no dysphoria towards genitals, and I think it's linked to the third category, because I'm asexual. I've been for as long as I can remember, and I've never been sexually active. So my genitals have never been linked to any activity, or perception by outside opinion. Since I never have to confront my genitals to expectations or even, to use them, then I think that's why I'm entirely fine with them.
Rarely look at mine, but totally comfortable in my skin. Now 16 yrs after formal reassigment and totally happy as i am. This Dr on the button. Top explanations and advice. Bottom surgery never a priority as its not needed to live my life as a Trans fem.
thank you for this! i was really doubting whether i’m actually trans because i don’t have much genital dysphoria atm 😅. i haven’t transitioned yet (besides cutting my hair) so rn i have intense dysphoria in my voice, height, butt, thighs, eyebrows, face, hands, and just being referred to/seen as a girl (social dysphoria).
This is sooooo helpful and in general your videos practicality and compassion and openness and expertise has been very helpful. thank you for sharing this so accessibly!
My dysphoria is not concentrated on my genitals so much as on my face. Even with drag queen makeup, I don’t pass even close as a female on the outside. I know I am a woman and my shrink agrees with me, but I want to live in stealth and be productive as a member of society. I’m 5’14” with a male gut that is very slowly disappearing. But my face gives me away. And I can’t afford FFS. I guess I am in one of your first two groups, where I still am married to my sweetheart and she and I still enjoy normal sex. An orchiectomy would be nice, but GRS is not, as long as I can still use some method to get erect. I appreciate your no guilt approach to the dysphoria dilemma. And I love your advice videos. ThankYou
Dormancy and a cis female partner for 34 years. For a very long time I didn’t think I was “really trans” because I looked the part: looking like a glamorous girl WAS and is my social image and I just didn’t even need to change my body. Now a couple of years into HRT and lo and behold I am starting to realized the things I was dysphoric about all along and just marginalizing, I honoring dysphoria, playing it off as “silly” or “can’t I just accept that I was born with.a Y chromosome” or “just stop being a baby, you already look like a girl” Damn! Now that my body IS changing I do begin to “wake up” from some sort of dormancy.
Thank you! This video helped me so much because I was wondering Why my case was different . Everything was very dormant. my main gender dysphoria was every time I looked in the mirror and when I was out in the public for many years . Throughout the years Never thought of body dysphoria unless I saw my testicles . And occasionally wishing I had female parts instead , The main focus was my face . Once I played with make up and wigs my dysphoria shifted to my chest. . I relate to some of the categories because I’ve grown to just see my male parts as a pleasure organ like you said that’s why I’m ok with keeping it now . Though the wishing and wanting is still there . Having a partner that likes what i have helps with the dysphoria and actually helped me cope with my reflection all this time . After experimenting with my female look I no longer talk to people who who want me as a man I never wanted to be , Now my main dysphoria is getting rid of testosterone And starting hrt . but I admitt . I’m all up for it so certain of starting then I get scared of breast cancer as my mom is a survivor . That’s what puts me in a halt every time I want to take the next step . 🥺
Thank you for sharing. Please talk to a medical doctor about your fear of potential cancer risk and estrogen as the studies on this link is not conclusive. I wish you well.
Hey! So... I'm relevant to this conversation. So, I'm bigender. I do feel incongruent on all aspects of my body except for the genitals. I have taken hormones for a couple years now and will be getting FFS. I've given this a TON of thought and have been expressing my gender for 10 years now in total. I have my struggles because it's very hard to balance a duality in this society and feel legitimate in my body while I do so. I am very much a, "What people see is more important." Person. That was spot on. I've put a tremendous amount of effort and work towards the goal of not only passing as either gender, (which I can and do) but now that I have that, making it as easy to do as possible. I wanted to physically transition so that I could reach a point that made me feel physically legitimate to claim a presentation in both sides of the gender spectrum (Not the middle) instead of one side being the "Real" or "True" side and the other then struggling being fake. That is where my dysphoria lies, me feeling comfortable in presenting my duality. For most people, they have a "feminine" or "Masculine" side.. for me that side of me is a complete expression of gender. I felt gender dysphoric - to the point of crying myself to sleep - until I embraced my transgender identity. And I thought that I would end up just transitioning and having that "Dormant" dysphoria you spoke of but... No. Even if I fully transitioned, I would still be bigender and feel the need to express my duality. My Duality being a conscious choice that best fits the range of my gender identity, which is either Pangender or Agender... not sure which. That being said... how that has effected my relationship with my genitals... I couldn't care less what they are, FOR ME... specifically. I could have a penis, vagina, intersex... I don't care. What's between my legs doesn't determine who I am or what my gender is and how I express that and relate to the world. I do also fit into the second option because I have a partner that accepts me so I'm perfectly fine keeping it the way it is because it works for us. My sexuality is open and I don't see a problem with the bits aligning or Not aligning with outward appearance. I don't walk around while exposed so I dont care. I would love to have the experience of the opposite genitals... but not because I have any problem with the ones I have. Nothing was wrong with the body I had - accept it wasn't the other sex - and I have always felt like half the human experience I was cut off from because of that... the desire to experience and have the opposite sex body has been so pervasive and strong that I could not ignore it - and I tried... lots of ingrained transphobia had me keeping it a secret for so long that I finally had to do something even though I "Knew" it was social suicide. (Spoiler: It wasn't, haven't lost One friend from it.) I have always viewed my exact experience in being trans as being so far left field - I cant even be trans typically... it makes it impossible to relate to people as I have never in my life met someone who identifies and expresses themselves as I do. But hey, your video does give me hope that people who feel the need to transition their body but don't feel gender dysphoria aren't lying to themselves... so thank you for that.
This is a complicated one for me. I'm ftm and I'm currently waiting for my testosterone to be ordered in by gp pharmacist so should be starting in the next few weeks 🤞. I don't necessarily have genital dysphoria the majority of the time. However I'm also not in a sexual relationship and I know deep down the only way I could be happy in a sexual relationship is after bottom surgery. I don't exactly hate my current genitals but I'm also not attached to them either. I sort of just don't really care what's down there as long as I'm not in a sexual relationship. Interestingly though the first time I wore a packer I did feel a sense of euphoria. So this indicates that there must be some level of dysphoria there but I guess like the first category mentioned on this video it's not currently my main focus. If I was in a relationship or planning to get into a relationship anytime soon I think I would feel more dysphoria but it would be sexual activity dysphoria rather than internal dysphoria around how it looks or how I personally feel about it when not engaging in sexual activities.
I’m curious to learn more about social dysphoria or dysphoria that doesn’t necessarily revolve around your body, I’m trying to determine whether I’m non-binary or just a “feminine man” but I’m not sure if what gender discomfort I have is the product of dysphoria or if its just me wanting to align with a potential new identity that I may be happier with. People talk a lot about physical dysphoria, I think because most transgender people have it, but aside from being hairy or having a masculine face, I don’t really mind the rest of my body parts. How do you really tell whether it’s dysphoria in this case?
Thank you for another wonderful video. Personally I feel it occasionally, maybe a few times a week, but in the grand scheme it's the least of my worries
I think I'm experiencing the dormancy effect. I started socially transitioning back in December 2019 and presented female full time since then. I'm nearly 9 months HRT and feeling increasingly uncomfortable with my male genitalia. I particularly dislike seeing the "bulge" so I tuck very tightly. I'm unsure if I want GRS but if I was to wake up tomorrow in a female version of my body, I'd be sooooo happy.
Thank you for the video. I’ve watched many on here and your advice and expertise is number one. I’m a category 2. Type 2. I love my genitals. I love using them. Just don’t love some other parts of my body.
Hi Dr Z. You may have covered this off before (if so, can you please point me towards the relevant video), but if not, could you please explain the pros, cons, and risks of going on HRT and having surgeries for older trans people (50 plus). Appreciate you are not a medical professional but from your knowledge and experience - what are the medical risks and what steps should be taken to understand and mitigate those. Love, Jess X
Hi. This is complex question because much of it depends on your age and your health history. This is why it can’t be generalized and best to be explored with a medical provider.
![ฮักเทื่อสุดท้าย - บอย ศิริชัย [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-1PoPoQ-B-k/mqdefault.jpg)
I never thought Edna Mode would be teaching me about genital dysphoria
Think I surprised them all.
Why do you say that, Sally?
@@NicoleTedesco what about Jesus screams sally
I think it best to remain focused on Dr. Z's important topics. While your comment may have been in good fun, there are many who will think it does not advance the discussion. In my experience, respectfully commentary is always the best policy.
I personally fall into the first category that you mentioned and explained, and I have also found that my _Asexual_ identity also contributes to my lack for dysphoric feeling towards my genitalia!! I have no reason to display my genitalia to any partner therefore I tend to not focus on what is hidden.
Thank you for sharing and you are spot on, asexual orientation will also add to lack of dysphoria.
holy shit me too
same honestly
@@DRZPHD Im a trans lesbian who can be attracted towards both kind of genitals (or a bisexual who likes a wide wariety of woman and only feminine man idk tbh :/ ) and when I watch porn, sometimes I feel melancholic because I can't imagine how a vagina feels. At the same time I don't know if I would miss my penis if I would magically turn into a cis woman (I like thought experiments)
Ok. Just by typing this I realized that I in fact would not miss my penis in that scenario. -_-
Thx for giving me a reason to type this down I guess .
Wait being ace effects bottom dysphoria? Well that explains it
I didn’t experience it till I became sexually active. It was like a switch being flipped. Literally the next day I started doing research on surgery.
Thanks for bringing this up. Genital dysphoria can definitely increase during sexual intercourse.
@@DRZPHD Yes I agree. My gender dysphoria is most profound when we have sex. In addition I suffer with issues related to intersex that doesn’t help. From a young age I never cared that I wasn’t a well developed male, in fact I really preferred that I was not. When at last I did start puberty of sorts. I did find someone to love and marry. She accepted me right away and realizes I have these physical and phycological issues. This all happened way before the days when people spoke of transsexuals and intersex. We just made our life work. After I developed testicular / ovarian type cancer it became clear that I could be defined as being trans.
In time my wife came to agree and fully accepted me little by little. I’m still work in progress and I need to start therapy again as I slowly come out. When my dysphoria cannot be suppressed I dress for my spouse and she and I show our love as two women. A wonderful thing.
My spouse and I after all these years are starting a new level of love for one another. Something we have been forced to do for most of our married lives but now is takes on new meaning.
@@hannahmich7342 this makes my heart so warm! I'm so happy for you!😭😭💖💖
@@hoerlli Thank you.
@@hoerlli Thank you very much.
I was remembering some of the things my spouse once told me after we were married for a couple of years. She said that I was not like any man she ever knew and much preferred this so much. Of course I didn’t know what being transgender was I simply did what seemed natural for me and what my under developed body could do. I really hated being male and upon reflection I spent a great deal of time learning to enjoy what I’ve come to realize that I was female.
When I cracked my egg 6 months ago it wasn't clear to me if I had genital dysphoria or not. I have it but it wasn't my main focus. Case #1 is spot on. I am much more focussed on secondary sex characteristics because it's in my relationship with others that I feel the most discomfort. I want to be socially seen as a woman and look like one. I can hide my genitals, but I can't hide my face. Secondary sex characteristics are a much bigger concern at the moment. I expect the focus to shift once I start looking more feminine but I'm not there yet.
Thanks for sharing and just be mindful it may shift, or maybe not.
Even as a vegan I love this phrase "cracked my egg".
I remember having genital dysphoria as a child. I would often tuck my male bits in and I remember feeling so good when I looked at myself in the mirror at myself looking like I have female genitals. As I've commented before on other videos of yours, I repressed my trans feelings for years after that and have only started my social transition but all through those years I have actually grown to love my male genital. It's weird but I am very comfortable with it and like you said, I truly feel that my genitalia does not define my gender 😊
Thanks for sharing and I am glad you do not see your genitals through a gender lense. Thats very important and healthy in my view.
You know what's weird? As a young girl I would pack and think it was amazing.
I'm a lesbian woman, but I will never date another trans who isn't post-op. And if any cis lesbian ever dates a person with penis, he will be in inferior position, treated like weird femboy and a provider. I don't believe in non-binary and gender-fluidity fraud.
This was very helpful, thank you! As a born female and feeling genderfluid, I don‘t really experience that much dyshoria with the genitalia that I have, it‘s more like something I don‘t really have a connection with. It is something that gives me pleasure and that I clean in the shower, that‘s it. But I can get very dysphoric about what I don‘t have, male genitalia. This is something I wish I had a lot and not having it, missing everything I could do with it, makes me really sad.
Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear it.
Same here! I am not too dysphoric about my current parts, disconnected maybe, but I’m more dysphoric of the lack of opposite parts
Same
Me, a cis man watching this because it was in my recommended: 👁👄👁
Hope you find it informative.
Completely out of respect, but what were you searching about transgender people to be recommended such a niche category? As a trans woman, I'm sincerely interested in what cis people TH-cam about us
@@MarshaBrady88 I'm just a guy interested in feminine things so I tend to get a lot of this kind of stuff recommend, I don't know if that's the case for this guy though.
@@MarshaBrady88 maybe to learn more about trans people?
@@Zoe-qq4zo doubtful
It is very reassuring to hear this! I fit into the third category and never had genital dysphoria as a trans man and heard from a health profrssional that I couldn't be trans because of that (I socially transitioned 6 years ago but never did any surgery or took hormones). So I am really glad this kind of content is being made available to younger audiences which still have to hear so many misconceptions about how they can express their gender identity, if I had seen this video 6 years ago I would have felt much better. Wonderful job and thank you very much!
Thank you for sharing!
This is great someone who dosent put people down cause they dont have ever dysphoria
Glad it was helpful.
I’ve never heard the terms “trans identified men” and “trans identified women” but I really like it! It feels somehow more affirming than simply “trans woman” or trans man
I agree. I also think the terms are ever changing, making it that much important to just look within yourself beyond terminology.
@@DRZPHD There is a problem, and is that those are way too close to the way TERFs call us... This is the first time I see these used in a positive way.
@@milo616 i highly doubt a TERF would call a trans woman a “trans identified woman”. They probably call trans men that, which is basically the exact opposite of this and what all transphobes already do (ie call trans women trans men and vice versa)
@@Alsyoutubeaccount they call trans men trans identified women and trans women trans identified men.
@@Valentine-kx7fk sooo exactly what I said :>
For myself, a pre-transition gay FTM, I cannot at all tolerate anything to do with my chest (COVID-19 is literally the only reason I'm not scheduled for surgery yet). I'm somehow mostly okay with my genitals, but think I also would've been happy if I'd been born with male genitals instead. If my partner treats me as male, I'm usually able to ignore the gender association.
Thank you for sharing and you bring up important point of support of our partners and genital association to gender.
@Kate Wolf I'm pre-T and AFAB, so... no.
Why do you want to know?
Spleens!!
Sam Jackson i relate a lot to this! i am transmasc and mostly attracted to men. i do not want bottom surgery, but i also know that i wouldn’t mind if i was born with male genitals.
A good friend of mine is also FTM and had the same issue with his chest and not with the genitals. He transitioned about 20 years ago.
Thanks for making this video! I'm FtM and predominately experience chest dysphoria, but have never really felt bottom dysphoria, and I've always wondered why that was. I feel I relate more with the third category, as I don't really associated genitals with any particular gender. I see people just as people, and view them as whatever gender they identify as.
I can also relate a little with the second category too, because when I was first seriously questioning my gender identity and was in a really emotionally vulnerable place, I was in my first relationship with someone who happened to be an enby - so they really understood how I was feeling and was really supportive. I felt like I was finally viewed as the person I was, rather than the gender I was assigned as. I think that definitely helped me feel more comfortable in my body, and made me realise that there are people out there that will love me for just me, which was something that I was worried about before that relationship.
Of course that's just my experience, but it was really good to learn about some other experiences, and know it's not just me!
Thank you for sharing and thats great that you dont assign gender to genitals. In my view, thats the best option but I do understand due to cultural constructs its not possible for everyone.
Yes! I thought I didn't have genital dysphoria before I had top surgery, but as soon as I got that “off my chest”, it became very clear that I do very much struggle with genital dysphoria. Great topic, Dr. Z! Thank you.
Reading the comments, I realize I'm very lucky that I don't have any genital dysphoria. I'm not a sex worker, but I relate to the last categories. I've been in a long term relationship way before transitioning and I see my genitals as nothing other than a functional body part that is able to provide pleasure.
Thank you for sharing.
This video was very interesting!
I am non-binary. I have had dysphoria around my AFAB parts ever since I was around four years old. I knew something was wrong when my brother was born and he wasn't the same as me-- I was supposed to have what my brother had. From then I would pretend that I had male parts and exist very annoyed with my own anatomy. Somehow for almost all of middle school and high school it was buried by my brain... And since I started my twenties it has slowly crept back in like a zombie and now it is here and it is alive and extremely distressing very often...
My chest, however, does not bother me at all and in fact it feels very correct as well as my other secondary sex characteristics, but I do feel animosity toward my internal female organs. If I had male secondary sex characteristics it would feel very wrong... its just the male primary sex organs that are supposed to be there...
It consistently is extremely upsetting and I break down and cry often at jokes and references made about genitalia, so I'm trying to censor things around me to minimize exposure...
Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your dysphoria around genitalia. You are certainly not alone as there are many who feel intense dysphoria toward genitals.
Hey, thanks for this. I'm also nb afab and I present really femme, but while I don't have bad genital dysphoria it definitely feels awkward, to say the least. I always feel like maybe I'm not "real" since in basically every other aspect I am a " woman" (at least in regards to society); it's validating to hear someone else has similar feelings.
I relate to this a lot. Well i dont experience body dysphoria that badly and i do feel somewhat uncomfortable with my chest. But i definetly experience strong desire to have male genitalia and the subject surrounding female reproduction upsets me. However what helps me with the mild dysphoria is that i think of my parts as being male. Like my nipples are male because men have nipples, some men have big chests, the female genitalia is made of the same things as male genitalia and has a lot of the same sensations. I think of my parts as being male or nonbinary because thats what i am even though they dont look the same as cis mens.
@@sweetsirenaine Your statement really means a lot to me, that is exactly what I have been struggling with for the past couple of years (the not feeling "real"). Finally this year I have been able to accept the fact that I'm NB trans and be able to refer to myself as such in medical/other care professional settings. I do still have a strong fear of not being taken seriously, however, but thankfully the professionals I have spoken to so far have been understanding.
@@MidnightEkaki Thank you! Oh, I totally understand the trigger of female reproductive talk... Like, in my case I am able to talk about it in cold, clinical terms because they're parts that are relevent to my flesh prison in its current state. But like, when people are talking about it in ONLY terms of function in reference to what its useful for to other people and pregnancy I have to peace out.
That is a very good idea to think of things that way, as parts being neutral. I should to further reinforce that with myself on a daily basis... ✌
Yeah. No genital dysphoria. But I've indicated that I'm open to the idea of bottom surgery and I'm supposed to meet with a surgeon to discuss the possibility next time I meet with my therapist. Hopefully I'll be starting HRT by then as well.
That aside, gender dysphoria is so weird. Sometimes it feels like it's punching you in the gut and then nothing for days. That's when the doubts start creeping in. 🙄
Thanks for sharing and yes, gender dysphoria comes and goes. It is not a constant for many, as a result, creates lots of confusion and doubt.
@@DRZPHD I just realized that autosuggest changed "genital" to "gender" in my post. Fixed now, but of course I have gender dysphoria. It's genital dysphoria that I don't consciously feel at the moment.
I've never had dysphoria around my genitals, though I've been curious (very curious) what it would feel like to have sex as a woman or to not have all this flesh hanging off of my body. I love my genitals as they are though. It could be because I am genderfluid and sometimes really feel good as a man, but it could also be that I just enjoy the pleasure it gives me.
That being said, I am also sexually active and we both love my genitals a lot so that reinforcement could be really helping my situation.
Beautiful! Gay man here; I'm lucky to have been born cisgender though. So much even I've taken for granted.
Mental health is one of the most complex issues we face. I love that your out here giving helpful advice. I do have some genitalia dysphoria, most of it is like you said, hyper focused on the outside. Hair for me....lack their of on top and the hair I'm in pressed to remove..bottom surgery is absolutely scary for me. So many ways things can get messed up and future complications in turn destroys in my mind the whole process. I'm sure I'm not only one on that?
Thank you for all your hard work. Look forward to your next video.
@Robert Warren thanks for sharing and yes, you are not the only one. Many fear surgery for various reasons, it is a very common experience.
Interesting...that was my experience. I didn’t have genital Dysphoria till I began living 100% full-time female. Only then did I begin to think about having SRS. I had surgery thee months ago and it was magical for me. I love my new vagina. I am insanely happy with my new lady parts. I never imagined that I would ever get this far with my transition.
Congratulations! And glad it was the right step for you.
Congrats!
@@AR-ed8jp are you just a troll, or are you interested in meaningful dialog? Are you basing your hypothesis on something real, or just a hope you have trans women couldn’t possibly really exist? Unfortunately, I can only speak for myself, I don’t claim any domain over trans women generally, though I am a trans woman. I was diagnosed about 7years ago, by three different therapists. I live my life as a woman, since 4 years ago.
For many years (as long as I can remember), I crossdressed in front of a mirror never quite knowing why. Watching my reflection with a vacant stare. This went on at semi regular intervals, till I turned 57 and started hearing voices telling me to embrace my inner cross dresser. The voices kept me awake at night, I couldn’t sleep and I felt suicidal. In a last ditch effort to save my own life, I scheduled an appointment with a therapist. The first therapy session was difficult at first, but by the end I felt so relieved that I wasn’t going crazy that being diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, didn’t seem like a big deal. Just talking about my cross dressing silenced the voices. I was feeling good. But the diagnosis was a big deal, so I sought a second and third opinions. When all the therapists agreed. I heed my first therapist’s advice. Together we decided on a path of discovery to help me determine my next steps to help keep the voices quiet. My first therapist diagnosis has been proven time and time again, by other therapists and my personal experiences.
You may be right about one thing. I don’t always feel like a woman, and occasionally I do still feel like a man. I may never entirely get over those 57 years of male role play. I know that I am a woman, just like someone knows they are left handed, even if they’ve spent 57 years trying to write with their right hand. Writing with the left still feels natural. Living as a woman feels right to me. That’s my reality, and I’m okay with it regardless of the haters and doubters.
And now. when I look in the mirror, all I see is my feminine image (head to toe) smiling back at me. I am exceedingly happy with feminine self. I wish you that same level of happiness.
Sara
i personally don’t feel any genital dysphoria, at the moment anyway. who knows it could change throughout my transition also, thank you for your videos they help so much! your amazing❤️
Thanks for sharing and yes it can or may not change for you.
I am MtF and have preferred to have a vagina for a long time. My genital dysphoria has grown as I have socially, medically and legally transitioned.
Great video!
Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about it. It does in fact increase in my experiences, as one transitions.
I have to say that I'm experiencing ups and downs in how intensely I feel dysphoric. I'm a trans man and as you said, not being in a relationship I never really had a cause to experience genital dysphoria. Not until one day I had a particularly vivid dream where in the dream I was fully in a male body. It felt so real and I felt so whole that I cried when I woke up it was realised it was not reality. Since then I feel this sensation of loss and anxiety more than before and even though I try to phase it out of my mind (with varying success) it's still there constantly. I have never considered bottom surgery before that experience, but I have been more and more since then.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you find a solution that works for you.
@@DRZPHD Thank you Dr Z. I'm weighing my options. Thank you for your educational videos :)
This was very validating, thank you
You're so welcome!
For me it's really weird..its anytime I actually see down there. Like when I use the restroom my mind is like "omg where did it go???" 😂😂 and then it's like "oh yeah..😔" that's the best way I can explain 😂😂
Thanks for sharing. Many feel the awareness only when they have to confront their genitals.
@Kate Wolf I'm ftm
I don't think I experience genital dysphoria, but I have to say... one of the scariest parts after finally accepting myself, and coming out to people close to me is the realization of all these repressed feelings/memories, and the notion that I may not be able to trust what I'm telling myself that I'm feeling about something at any given moment.
Why didn't anybody ever tell me emotions were difficult before I decided to start dealing with them? Lmao.
I absolutely love this video! You explanations are so approachable and informative. The way in which you talk is so approachable and makes me feel so much more at ease thinking about my own transition and how I process my dysphoria and related anxiety.
Thank you so much! I care deeply about this topic.
This video is amazing, I'm glad someone is talking about something so important and not talked about enough!
Thank you.
I had ONLY genital dysphoria. I had bottom surgery but that's all. I happen to be intersex. I actually need top surgery as well, because I have breast tissue that doesn't align with my male presentation. Ever since I was 11 years old I've basically wanted to be an intact transman, but I was labeled male because doctors in 1982 didn't recognize the signs of mild androgen insensitivity. Bottom surgery was fantastic and I'm extremely happy now.
This is so true. Even though I always intended to have genital surgery, I wasn't bothered by my genitals, but as I progress in my transition, I want bottom surgery more and more.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for this video. It is spot-on in terms of the experience I had. At the beginning of my gender transition, I wasn't at all concerned about lower surgery. Then, after top surgery, my feelings about my genitals changed and I seemed to suddenly develop genital dysphoria.
Because it was seemingly so sudden, I really doubted myself at first, but I began to understand that the genital dysphoria had likely always been there, I was just focused on more crucial things to change, and once those things, eg hormones, and top surgery, were done, there plain to see was my lower dysphoria. I like how you describe this as the 'dormancy effect' and it makes complete sense.
I also think my lack of genital dysphoria was due to the fear I felt about lower surgery. There was so much negativity about it when I started my journey. I didn't think successful lower surgery was possible, so I think I pushed any genital dysphoria away.
This video is so helpful for other trans folks who find their feelings change through transition, and it is so helpful for me to see this as it validates my experience. Thank you for making this! I've only just discovered your channel and I am loving your content and nodding along!
I recently made a video about this myself, which might be interesting for folks wanting to see this experience from the perspective of a trans man. th-cam.com/video/zY-RGdNFHoY/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for contributing that this in fact happened to you as well. And yes, since genital surgery for trans man or trans masculine is one of the most complicated surgeries, ones you decide on it, the fear can take over and make you question it. Thanks for also sharing your great channel resources, I will add your channel to my website resource page. Nice to meet you Finn and thank you for shoutout of my channel on yours!
@@DRZPHD my absolute pleasure! I am loving your videos! So much of what you speak about resonates exactly with my experiences through transition!
And thanks for adding my videos to your resources!
This answers a lot of questions. Also, the comments are beautiful!
Thank you, glad it clarified.
To me as a 21 y/o trans woman that’s been medically transitioning for 2 years, I‘ve never felt super connected to my genitalia, and in sexual contexts, there is also a feeling of disconnect but also discomfort, now recently I‘m thinking more about the idea of getting srs, because the idea of having a vagina seems more comfortable than what I have now, I don’t hate what I have now, but I feel more or less uncomfortable with it sometimes and always not very connected, I relate to the first type you described. Thank you for the video ❤️
hello and thank you, very helpful and informative video! I've identified straight away with he dormant category... I was never overly concerned with bottom surgery but 11 years into my transition I find myself wanting total freedom, both emotionally and physically and I feel I am coming to terms with the fact that bottom surgery could be the gateway to a freer life.
Thanks for sharing, and I am glad you are listening to what feels right for you.
Over time you really do end up playing a part in a play. The only time I feel that I can smile sincerely is after a proper tucking. The effect looks much better to me. I'm not sure if it's related but I haven't felt comfortable not wearing some kind of top since I was a child. I feel very self-conscious if I'm not wearing a top of some kind even in private.
Thanks for sharing.
Im not experiencing it much at the moment. For the exact reasons you stated here... my girlfriend loves me the way I am and I'm still focussing on other things. I think that my focus will probably shift to my genitals in a few years, once I've had top surgery.
Good and helpful video as always, dr Z!
Thats great to hear and keep in mind that while it may, it may also not shift to the genital area.
I am a transgender man, 52 years of age, and yes, I did have genital dysphoria as a child. But when I became an adult I did accept my female genitalia. I am used to it now and I don't want any genital surgeries because of the risks involved. Although I am happy with my mastectomy and I still consider to go on testosterone because people now assume I am a butch lesbian, which I am not. I want to be seen as the man I am inside and without testosterone this is not possible.
Body and facial hair was the only source of dysphoria I had ever noticed. Then I had full body and facial laser and started electrolysis on the greying hairs. It felt wonderful to not see all that hair. But then I started to notice how my genitals now felt uncomfortable for me. Thank you for explaining why that was. That was basically what I thought was happening. The hair was such a large issue for my that the rest of the signals got lost in the noise.
Yes sadly it stays dormant till you start paying attention to it.
I recently came out and didn't feel any genital dysphoria until recently. I don't feel attractive at all and my partner has lost sexual attraction to me as well due to my starting transition and my new found discomfort with my genitals. Thanks your videos always help me think things out.
Sorry to hear that.
That is unfortunately a very common experience. The only advice I can give you is to have patience and tread lightly if you want to preserve your relationship.
This has been UNBELIEVEABLY helpful. My chest dysphoria was so intense and completely different to how I feel about my genitals. For so long I've just conditioned myself to "ignore" them i.e. not look at them in the mirror or let anyone else see them etc. I know they're wrong but there's no emotion behind how I feel if that makes sense? Like there's no deep longing to have a penis, like it was for me to have a flat chest. Having said that, especially recently as I've developed a lot more body hair and got a bit bulkier, I do feel a bit more dysphoria when I'm out and about, like I'm "naked" and there should be a bulge there. I'm still on the list to get referred etc. for surgery but it'll take ages anyway as I've already pushed it back a year to think about it. But it is very easy for me to slip into the habit of thinking that my dysphoria isn't "valid" enough to warrant such a major surgery. At least I'll be able to mull it over for the next couple of years as there's no pressure at the moment.
Thank you for sharing.
prior to witnessing this video, i feel my gender dysphoria is the main trigger for me.. my gender expressions okay, as a teen i undermined it, that i think about it now, i am bittersweet glad because you just can't fake it & i just never agreed with my assigned sex. Oow. Go Dr. Z
Thank you for sharing.
Hi Dr Z,
I tired to look for a previous comment from me on this video but didn't find it. Historically I've had some indifference to getting GCS, feeling that the only people it should matter to is me and my significant other. Lately though, I find myself aspiring to look feminine in ALL ways, including the area between my legs. To be able to wear clothes without a concern for hiding under clothes what doesn't match my gender. I somehow see it as "reaching for the gold ring" to be undisputed as a woman in all ways and form, as if the way I am now has not reached that goal. This video does feel a part of what I am now going through.
Thank you Dr Z for ALL YOU DO!
Hugs! Christie 🙂
Hi. Sorry about comment disappearing. Yes it is common for dysphoria to shift around quite a bit.
As for me, many aspects of my body dysphoria manifested after I started socially transitioning. I haven't taken any medical steps yet but in the last few months I realized a feeling of slight genital dysphoria. It's mostly a feeling around wanting to have the feeling of having something between my legs (my packer arrived today and I really hope it helps). The point is that I cannot really tell where it stems from. First of all, because I am non-binary and find myself pretty much in the middle of male and female (with slight fluctuations to both sides of the spectrum), second, because I am asexual (like, that kind of asexual who never ever wants to have sex with anyone in any situation, no matter how close I am to a certain person), so actually I "do not really need my genitals", so why do I still have dysphoria around them? It sometimes leaves me questioning if my dysphoria can even be real if there's no proper explanation to it.
Thanks for sharing and it could be potentially due to gender expression or a need to have a masculine expression even if you identify as non binary since your identity fluctuates. In this sense, genitals are less related to sexuality but more to masculinity.
As a gender confused sex worker, thank you! I feel so seen and understood!💖
I don't experience genital dysphoria and at first this was one of the things I used to tell myself that I wasn't /really/ trans. It took a lot to get beyond that, and I'm still struggling with it a bit, but I did work in the sex trade for a while and it may be that I'm viewing my genitals more as a sexual organ than one associated with my gender. I may also fall victim to dormant genital dysphoria. Only time will tell.
Thank you for sharing. It is very common for ppl who worked or work in any kind of sex field to be very comfortable with their genitals.
Had me nervous when you described dormancy, but when you got to SW, I sighed in relief.
Very useful information, thank you so much for clarifying a few things)) I fall into the 3rd category I think.. Never felt dysphoric about my genitals, but on the other side I want to be seen completely as a woman and therefore feel sometimes extremely dyshopiric about my face, chest, voice etc.. I have transitioned socially and legally already and am about to start my HRT in a few weeks time, which feels like a huge relief except for one thing.. I am worried how it can effect on my sexual life, cause I am not only ok with having my gadget, but I also wan't to use it to a degree or at least not become completetly asexual, cause sex can become problematic, painful or just bland with no feeling and etc.. Therefore I still have some doubts if HRT is the right choice for me.. Would be really happy to hear anybody's opinions or experiences in that matter😊
I'm a trans ftm and i don't experience any genital dysphoria for the opposite reason of number 2, I'm asexual so i don't really have a need for any reproductive organs because I'm not going to be using it and it just feels useless to get surgery for a reproductive organ that I'm not going to need.
I agree with you on the fact that if you don't really need genitals (as in sexual function or congruency) than there is no need to put your body through surgery. ITs great that you know that and are not working hard fitting some form of mold.
Dr. Z, this post went in a different direction than I expected. I thought it would be about the difference between gender dysphoria and age dysphoria, both of which I have experienced. Being a stealth transgender woman since the 1970s both came together when I had facial surgery about three years ago, FFS on my brow and facelift on my neck, the latter of which was of more concern to me at the time. In many ways I feel more confident now that I went through this experience and the renewing of HRT after being off it for more than 20 years. (Continued)
Thanks for sharing.
OMG...thank you...I have wondered this for soo long, because all my trans sisters all talk about Dysphoria about their genitals, and i never understood why I didn't have the same feelings and it made me question if i was even trans... THANK YOU!!!!!!
You are most welcome.
Hello there doc !
As always I'm just here again to appreciate ur great work and to gain some knowledge abt things and thank you ! For doing what none else is doing ! Thank you !
You are very welcome.
I (as far as my current experience goes) fall into one extra category: I do not experience genital dysphoria because I'm quite strictly asexual. My reproductive organs are never at the forefront of anything, be it relationships, masturbation or anything like that. As an AFAB person, the one gripe I have with my organs is menstruation as it is inconvenient, sometimes makes my body feel bloated and is often painful. I also don't like the idea of being able to get pregnant (in case something unsavory ever happens to me). Other than that, my relationship with my external organs is merely one of maintaining hygiene and physical comfort. It's secondary characteristics that really drive me up the walls as I haven't been able to access top surgery yet and it tips the scales when people look at me and try to figure out what binary category they think I fall under.
Thanks for sharing.
thank you so much :) this video helped a lot. ive been confused latley about my gender wondering if im trans ftm or not. all ive been hearing is trans people having bottom dysphoria and ive been doubting myself saying that im probably not just because i dont have much bottom dysphoria. like i’d be fine with either genital, i dont really care. so this video made me feel much better. ❤️
Thanks for sharing.
Very enlightening, love your videos Dr.Z!
Glad to hear!
As a trans man, bottom surgery was never even a serious thought for me. I'm asexual and so my genitals are like 100% just for me (or maybe my doctors) to see and so it just doesn't seem to be worth the hustle to be honest. The typical male genitalia is also quite repulsive to me so I have no urge to make my body look like that haha. For me, I'd probably get more insecure about the scars from the skin grafts than my current genitalia. This is such a personal thing but it's valid either way! You're alright.
Totally valid and it’s best to think for yourself vs following a cookie cutter many do. Good for you!
Yeah, I started experiencing genital dysphoria. Exactly as you said it would happen. I haven’t socially transitioned yet. I just…I still need to socially transition one day. Also, I’m researching what all goes into bottom surgery. There’s an aftermath, so I want to make sure I’ll be fine with the commitment of medical procedures. One last note, before body modifications I’m just getting comfortable with my trans identity first.
Thanks for sharing.
@@DRZPHD my pleasure! Thanks for having such an open platform! Have a great weekend ^_^
I've never connected genitals to gender. I don't know why I just don't. I don't really question things like this I just run with it.
I do not experience any dysphoria whatsoever from having the genitals I was born with. There is 2 sources of dysphoria there but they're caused by a mild case of injury caused Peroniey's and circumcision no doubt it would be the same if I were a cis man.
The first dysphoria I felt was from not having a vagina. I have no idea why or where it came from. This started in 1993 when I was 9 and didn't even know trans people exist. As my puberty went on other dysphoria developed. I embraced it all from the start too.
I forced the relevant dysphoria into dormancy by the time I was 17 because the thought of bottom surgery was extremely dysphoric and euphoric but I didn't want to break things that work and accepted having both is impossible.
In 2019 I learned of several surgeons who do penis preserving vaginoplasty so I'm getting this as soon as I get funding sorted.
There are some people who are able to not connect genitals to gender.
@@DRZPHD I guess I don't have any reason to connect them so I've always seen what genitals someone has as irrelevant to what gender they are.
I've noticed that gender issues seem to have taken over social media as the flavour of the month in a way that I could never have been foreseen 30 years ago, so here is my contribution...I am MtF now aged 76, & began transitioning at the age of 58 & had SRS 16 years ago at the age of 60. I first noticed what is now termed gender dysphoria at the age of 5, but, of course, was unable to understand it until well into my teens. I absolutely grew to hate my male bits & so it was obviously priority to remove them ASAP. Now 16 years later I consider that SRS was by far the best thing that I ever did & would do it again without question. I only regret waiting for so long. For a deeper understanding of the subject I would refer readers to the Harry Benjamin MtF scale which basically defines a continuum from level 1 to 6, where 1 refers a man who might cross dress once a month to level 6 which refers to man who wants total feminisation...I don't know about the FtM, but I suspect that they are a mirror image, but the other way round if you see what I mean. Since coming out as TS in 2002 I must have met hundreds of people of all ages & all nationalities from hundreds of backgrounds, but all with the same desire. I think that one of the hardest things in life is to know yourself....
Margaret Pepper it seems that these gender issues are not as "rare" as is often suggested... Where in the world do you live?... I'm sorta fascinated ( in a good way!) that you have met so many people with these issues...
@Margaret Pepper thank you for sharing personal experience and I am so glad to see you are happy. I agree a 100%, now yourself is the key.
This wasn’t really covered in the video. My experience (as a pre medical transition trans identified man), my genital dysphoria is mostly piss dysphoria. I see it as an organ that can give and receive pleasure (i think this is also helped by having a long term partner) and don’t have much sexual genital dysphoria but the fact that I don’t piss through a tube makes me really dysphoric (but usually comes in waves when i am in a generally compromised mental state and is definitely less intense than chest, face, and voice dysphoria).
Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your dysphoria.
Totally agreed Dr Z. I'm 45 and I've started late with transition so things have moved fairly quickly for me and I experience genital dysphoria.
Sorry to hear that.
@@DRZPHD thanks Doctor but it goes hand in hand I suppose with being trans
Alexia van der Westhuizen sometimes, bot NOT always, as Dr Z so wonderfully explained in this video. I hope things will get better for you as you go forward in your journey...💙
@@deehowe4141 no please don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom. Things are on the up for me but thank you for the care and love
Hello Doctor Z phd . I m at the beginning of my femiization . I am 54 old . I ve got a requiest. For you . Since one week . Do you think that it s better to continue this threatment. BY binaural beat What Do you think about . I t effective Really Thanx . YOU ARE beautyful woman
Thank you Dr. Z this is a very good and informative video. I have had a lot of questions on genitalia and transitioning this really a lot of good information
You are so welcome and hope this clarifies.
This video made me subscribe. I‘m questioning my gender and have been for years. It‘s becoming harder and harder. The fact that I‘m not experiencing genital dysphoria always made me feel like an impostor. Thank you for helping me!
Hopefully you'll find other videos as helpful.
"The fact that I‘m not experiencing genital dysphoria always made me feel like an impostor"
Because that's who you are.
I am at the verge of discovering whether I am trans or not. I would never have a bottom surgery as long as my genitals work. So I would put myself into the 3rd category.
I don't think I experienced any dysphoria - at least not that I know or I could identify as such. Though I am quite a feminine guy (lack of body hair, weak facial hair, wide hip, narrow shoulders etc.) so there might not be much to be dysphoric about. With my long hair I easily get mistaken für a woman even when I am not crossdressing - though over the last year there is barely a single day where I didn't went to work, shopping etc. dressed like a woman. And I love it! ♥♥♥ I only wished I wasn't flat like a board, but that might change. When I first tried breast forms it immediately felt good and right. Soon I will get a new pair (in a hopefully more comfortable size) and as with my dresses I will get more comfortable wearing them in public.
Thank you for sharing.
For me genital dysphoria has always been the strongest dysphoria but it's actually my last surgery I'm doing.
Wishing you all the best when you come to it.
Dr. Z, yesterday my dysphorias took an unexpected but happy turn. I went to see a friend perform at a local restaurant. We last saw each other less than two years ago. He is a few years older, I am stealth and we first met when he acted in a musical I wrote. I was off HRT for more than 20 years until about four years ago but I got by for 40 years. I saw him before his show yesterday and called out to him and he didn’t recognize me at first until I got closer and identified myself. Being blunt and 79 he blurted out that I looked so much more feminine and obviously lost weight. Actually, I had gained weight but it has been redistributed somewhat, not enough for me in the mirror but…Anyway, I passed all those years and he thought I looked a little masculine. I never got that feeling from anyone. I don’t know how to feel. I’m glad I look feminine now but I am bothered that I didn’t pass as well as I thought before. Does that make sense?
Hi thanks for sharing and yes it makes sense. Dysphoria can unexpectedly creep in.
thanks dr z, very cool!
Glad you liked it!
It's just simply not the answer your looking for. The #1 surgery is transition back, what they don't tell you is horrible unhappiness, very high suicide rate and so on. Just keep the body God gave you, it's just fine.
Thank you for sharing, however, many many people statistically do benefit from surgical transition and go on to live happy lives.
I have been medically diagnosed with gender dysphoria disorder, genitalia dysphoria, 13 years ago.
It's the reason why I'm transsexual.
Without any gender/genitalia dysphoria, I wouldn't even be trans, there'd be no reason to come out.
I was supposed to be born a cis woman, not a feminine Male. I just don't freaking get why there's trans people that don't have gender/dysphoria disorder. It's like pulling a tooth without having a toothache, why even do it. It doesn't make sense to me.
Thank you for sharing. I believe you are alluding to the problem with language and that currently, we put pretty much all gender non comforting people under transgender umbrella. I hear you. You fall into camp of trans binary, formerly known as transsexual. Someone who strongly identifies with opposite sex period, and wants all surgeries to achieve congruency. Thank you for your comment.
@@DRZPHD I came out before WPATH changed, went all the way down the trans roadmap and every checkpoint. I know WPATH changed, but I'll admit, all that I did made me appreciate my transition and my journey more and having "transgender" on all my medical paperwork saves me a lot of trouble and constant explaining
I fit pretty perfectly into the second category- I have been married to my husband for 25 years and he fully supports me. Bottom dysphoria isn't really a problem for me most of the time. Only every now and then I feel a bit ... incomplete , but it usually goes away again.
Thank you for sharing and thats great you have such amazing support.
Thank you so much for making these videos and publishing them somewhere so accessible! This video has been so very helpful.
You are very welcome!
Thank you so much for your videos, they are so helpful and I have learned so much bout myself. I can definitely identify with your first description - at the moment my focus i significantly on changing those external features to be more feminine. I dream of having wider hips, breasts and more a feminine face. Thank you so much Dr Z, you are helping so many people
You are so welcome!
I can’t even fathom cutting mine off, we are simply old friends and I came to terms along time ago with it. The most important aspect to me, transitioning of the mind, I am 38 and came to a mutual arrival of mind body and spirit, and nearly instantly my physical aspect changed I lost 50 lbs and look 10 years younger and feel it. Starting hrt sooon.
Thats great that you know how you feel about your genitals. Thats important.
Thank you so much Dr. Z. I personally fall in the 3rd category. Although I have dated transgender women that are very dysphoric about their genitals. This can cause issues when it comes to being intimate with them. Me being the communicative type of woman we always seem to work through it. Thank you again for all of your fabulous words.
Thank you for sharing and I am glad you feel comfortable with your genitals.
Just a few days ago I felt okay with body and it made me think Im not trans. But I only felt that way for a day. Its confusing me, so thank you for this video! And what you said about seeing my genitals as just a sexual organ makes so much sense to me in terms of why I don't always have dysphoria about them.
Glad it was helpful.
Wow, another great video that is right on by Dr. Z. I fall into categories 1 and 2. I expect as my transition continues the dormancy Dr. Z describes will become less potent for me, i.e., I will have more genital dysphoria. I would add a separate sub-category for category 2. I would call it age related genital acceptance. I do have a long term satisfying relationship, but not a lot of sexual contact which may or may not be a function of my age. It is very loving and caring and that is most important. I have started transitioning that includes HRT at a much older age, 68. As such, I have a lot of ambivalence about surgeries. It seems if I invest time in them, I lose precious time to focus on other parts of my transition. Added to this is my concern my partner may not find surgeries I could undertake as acceptable. Also, on some level when I think of altering my genitals I have a sense that I may be losing something that is a fundamental part of me. Kind of like having to say good-bye to an old friend. Nevertheless, I very much appreciate that my gender dysphoria will probably become more focused on my genitals as I get further along in my transition.
Thank you for sharing and glad to hear the video resonated.
i’m still a baby transman- I feel apathetic towards my body because i have a relatively flat chest already, and i present androgynous so everything is covered up.
i feel like my dysphoria towards my genitalia will start/increase when i finally get read as a male irl :/
Thanks for sharing.
I remember I didn't always feel dysphoria about male genitals. They were just there, an annoyance yet not really any worse than a wart or other strange growth. It was only later in life when I tried to explore transitioning that my dislike for them really started to ramp up, mainly as I have a very masculine body and being able to 'pass' as female isn't an option. The genitals became a large focus point as they were something I saw as the reason everything else was wrong, a uniquely masculine component that started to hate more and more.
Whether it's wrong to think this way or not, the secondary sexual characteristics almost became less important as I never felt like I could really be female with the way I look. Now getting rid of the genitals is all I really focus on as even though it's a part only I will ever see, having that gone feels like it could be the only way to no longer feel male.
Thank you for sharing.
This is always a complex issue, and I know I am not much difference in this area. I definitely feel like I fit into category one. My first priority was HRT, hair removal and voice training. These are the outward presenting signs when out and about in general life. The further I have gone with my transition, I the more dysphoria I feel with other areas. I haven't decided if FFS is something I want, I don't feel I 100% need it (I've never had a visible adams apple, my features are neutral and so my main dysphoria is my brow bone). I struggle to decide if my want for it is cosmetic or dysphoria related. I'm not sure I can or will ever detangle that mess.
One thing I never had, was chest/breast dysphoria. I never stopped dating/relationships and I feel this has caused it to slowly begin creeping up on me, especially since I am in that odd mid transition phase with breast growth. If I wasn't still developing (and therefore simply cannot do anything) top surgery would be my highest priority.
In regards to the main topic on genitalia, I have had very low level dysphoria my entire life, I suppose the best way to describe it is apathy. It always affected sexual activity with a partner, never when I was alone, seeing it, others seeing it etcetera. This was something I experienced way before I understood what dysphoria was. At the beginning of my transition I was confident that I had no genital dysphoria or it was at such a low level it would never require me to want/need bottom surgery. Now, I recognise I have some dysphoria with it, because I do not want to use it as a sexual organ. At this point however, I do not want SRS but I have already been considering that this may change at some point in the future, especially after hearing more and more other binary transpeople's experiences.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
It's the reverse for me. I have more genital dysphoria as I can't function sexually, and for some awkward reason I find that the way I see myself is too private and none of other people 's business, so I allude to my preferred gender but don't give clues as to who I really am. I've been so used to hide away during decades I can't undo it
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
Really interesting. I'm afab and just beginning medical transition Wednesday with Testosterone. I'm not as focused anymore on passing socially, and the dysphoria actually calmed down because of that. It's still there but not exaggerated because I'm not focused on it. I know I want top surgery, though I'm not sure when. I don't want bottom surgery unless the results are very good and it's not there yet by my standards. I do want a prosthetic though, and get dysphoric most about having to sit down to pee, of all things. I've tried stp packers and could not get that to work for me. I do like having something there, it feels more comfortable. Usually I can forget something is off though, and like you mentioned my focus is more on the results from testosterone. I've been stalled on my medical transition for 7 years now, so I had to really come to terms with this being the body I'm living in, and that helped a lot with the dysphoria. It's less a "female" body and more just mine. Also have been really getting in shape and that helps too.
Thank you for sharing and all the things you engage in, in an attempt to be more comfortable should also decrease any potential genital dysphoria. In the end, it is often about personal body comfort and adaptability.
Thank you for the explanations!!
I'm nonbinary and trans and would've really needed the "plan for potential dysphoria" five years or so ago, because my dysphoria gives me so much stress that I get a fever and can't breathe properly every time I think of it. I just got my first binder and it helps a bit but my partner and a lot of other people tend to "see past my gender" to be able to relate to me easier and place me in the woman box however much I struggle to get out of it.
I'm definitely in the dormancy category. I have to fight to not repress and punish feelings of dysphoria and attempts at solving things. Then again being too aware is really painful.
Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear of your situation.
This is why a lot of relationships fail and family bonds break when people transition. They simply can't mentally adapt to the change in the "person they knew" and one common reaction of the TG person is to suppress to avoid that conflict, which then just makes it manifest in all sorts of "fun and interesting" ways. I hope you find a way.
I’m early in transition (1 year, slow mover) but your description of the *dormant* first category seems to fit my case perfectly. Hair, facial appearance, hiding facial hair, smoothness all over and increasing dislike for my voice. These are the things I focus on along with how to come out and be me while doing as little damage to relationships with friends and family. I’d be lying if I said it was never sexual but as I approach 60 it’s less sexual and just an overall spirit of well being that comes across me when I’m free to be Monique. M xx 💋
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for this video! I have been struggling a lot with chest and hip dysphoria but haven't really had much bottom dysphoria. I was really questioning what that means. Not sure why it is yet but its validating to know its not just me.
Yup, many don't experience genital dysphoria. Just keep in mind that it can be in a dormant state like I explained. It may not be, but just be mindful.
I like you Dr. Z! You truly seem to understand all the subtle nuances of gender 'confusion'. Thanks so much for all your insightful content!
I have no dysphoria towards genitals, and I think it's linked to the third category, because I'm asexual. I've been for as long as I can remember, and I've never been sexually active. So my genitals have never been linked to any activity, or perception by outside opinion. Since I never have to confront my genitals to expectations or even, to use them, then I think that's why I'm entirely fine with them.
Thanks for sharing.
Rarely look at mine, but totally comfortable in my skin. Now 16 yrs after formal reassigment and totally happy as i am. This Dr on the button. Top explanations and advice. Bottom surgery never a priority as its not needed to live my life as a Trans fem.
Thanks for sharing and I agree, the surgery is not a necessity unless one feels a need for it.
thank you for this! i was really doubting whether i’m actually trans because i don’t have much genital dysphoria atm 😅. i haven’t transitioned yet (besides cutting my hair) so rn i have intense dysphoria in my voice, height, butt, thighs, eyebrows, face, hands, and just being referred to/seen as a girl (social dysphoria).
Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear of your intense dysphoria.
This is sooooo helpful and in general your videos practicality and compassion and openness and expertise has been very helpful. thank you for sharing this so accessibly!
You are most welcome.
My dysphoria is not concentrated on my genitals so much as on my face. Even with drag queen makeup, I don’t pass even close as a female on the outside. I know I am a woman and my shrink agrees with me, but I want to live in stealth and be productive as a member of society. I’m 5’14” with a male gut that is very slowly disappearing. But my face gives me away. And I can’t afford FFS. I guess I am in one of your first two groups, where I still am married to my sweetheart and she and I still enjoy normal sex. An orchiectomy would be nice, but GRS is not, as long as I can still use some method to get erect. I appreciate your no guilt approach to the dysphoria dilemma. And I love your advice videos. ThankYou
Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to hear about your struggles.
It's a bit of an odd relationship between me and my parts, I don't think I mind having them but I feel disgusted with what they do.
Dormancy and a cis female partner for 34 years. For a very long time I didn’t think I was “really trans” because I looked the part: looking like a glamorous girl WAS and is my social image and I just didn’t even need to change my body. Now a couple of years into HRT and lo and behold I am starting to realized the things I was dysphoric about all along and just marginalizing, I honoring dysphoria, playing it off as “silly” or “can’t I just accept that I was born with.a Y chromosome” or “just stop being a baby, you already look like a girl” Damn! Now that my body IS changing I do begin to “wake up” from some sort of dormancy.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! This video helped me so much because I was wondering Why my case was different . Everything was very dormant. my main gender dysphoria was every time I looked in the mirror and when I was out in the public for many years . Throughout the years Never thought of body dysphoria unless I saw my testicles . And occasionally wishing I had female parts instead , The main focus was my face . Once I played with make up and wigs my dysphoria shifted to my chest. . I relate to some of the categories because I’ve grown to just see my male parts as a pleasure organ like you said that’s why I’m ok with keeping it now . Though the wishing and wanting is still there . Having a partner that likes what i have helps with the dysphoria and actually helped me cope with my reflection all this time . After experimenting with my female look I no longer talk to people who who want me as a man I never wanted to be , Now my main dysphoria is getting rid of testosterone And starting hrt . but I admitt . I’m all up for it so certain of starting then I get scared of breast cancer as my mom is a survivor . That’s what puts me in a halt every time I want to take the next step . 🥺
Thank you for sharing. Please talk to a medical doctor about your fear of potential cancer risk and estrogen as the studies on this link is not conclusive. I wish you well.
@@DRZPHD thank you💋
Hey! So... I'm relevant to this conversation. So, I'm bigender. I do feel incongruent on all aspects of my body except for the genitals. I have taken hormones for a couple years now and will be getting FFS. I've given this a TON of thought and have been expressing my gender for 10 years now in total. I have my struggles because it's very hard to balance a duality in this society and feel legitimate in my body while I do so. I am very much a, "What people see is more important." Person. That was spot on. I've put a tremendous amount of effort and work towards the goal of not only passing as either gender, (which I can and do) but now that I have that, making it as easy to do as possible. I wanted to physically transition so that I could reach a point that made me feel physically legitimate to claim a presentation in both sides of the gender spectrum (Not the middle) instead of one side being the "Real" or "True" side and the other then struggling being fake. That is where my dysphoria lies, me feeling comfortable in presenting my duality. For most people, they have a "feminine" or "Masculine" side.. for me that side of me is a complete expression of gender. I felt gender dysphoric - to the point of crying myself to sleep - until I embraced my transgender identity. And I thought that I would end up just transitioning and having that "Dormant" dysphoria you spoke of but... No. Even if I fully transitioned, I would still be bigender and feel the need to express my duality. My Duality being a conscious choice that best fits the range of my gender identity, which is either Pangender or Agender... not sure which.
That being said... how that has effected my relationship with my genitals... I couldn't care less what they are, FOR ME... specifically. I could have a penis, vagina, intersex... I don't care. What's between my legs doesn't determine who I am or what my gender is and how I express that and relate to the world. I do also fit into the second option because I have a partner that accepts me so I'm perfectly fine keeping it the way it is because it works for us. My sexuality is open and I don't see a problem with the bits aligning or Not aligning with outward appearance. I don't walk around while exposed so I dont care.
I would love to have the experience of the opposite genitals... but not because I have any problem with the ones I have. Nothing was wrong with the body I had - accept it wasn't the other sex - and I have always felt like half the human experience I was cut off from because of that... the desire to experience and have the opposite sex body has been so pervasive and strong that I could not ignore it - and I tried... lots of ingrained transphobia had me keeping it a secret for so long that I finally had to do something even though I "Knew" it was social suicide. (Spoiler: It wasn't, haven't lost One friend from it.)
I have always viewed my exact experience in being trans as being so far left field - I cant even be trans typically... it makes it impossible to relate to people as I have never in my life met someone who identifies and expresses themselves as I do.
But hey, your video does give me hope that people who feel the need to transition their body but don't feel gender dysphoria aren't lying to themselves... so thank you for that.
Thank you for sharing.
This is a complicated one for me. I'm ftm and I'm currently waiting for my testosterone to be ordered in by gp pharmacist so should be starting in the next few weeks 🤞. I don't necessarily have genital dysphoria the majority of the time. However I'm also not in a sexual relationship and I know deep down the only way I could be happy in a sexual relationship is after bottom surgery. I don't exactly hate my current genitals but I'm also not attached to them either. I sort of just don't really care what's down there as long as I'm not in a sexual relationship. Interestingly though the first time I wore a packer I did feel a sense of euphoria. So this indicates that there must be some level of dysphoria there but I guess like the first category mentioned on this video it's not currently my main focus. If I was in a relationship or planning to get into a relationship anytime soon I think I would feel more dysphoria but it would be sexual activity dysphoria rather than internal dysphoria around how it looks or how I personally feel about it when not engaging in sexual activities.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m curious to learn more about social dysphoria or dysphoria that doesn’t necessarily revolve around your body, I’m trying to determine whether I’m non-binary or just a “feminine man” but I’m not sure if what gender discomfort I have is the product of dysphoria or if its just me wanting to align with a potential new identity that I may be happier with. People talk a lot about physical dysphoria, I think because most transgender people have it, but aside from being hairy or having a masculine face, I don’t really mind the rest of my body parts. How do you really tell whether it’s dysphoria in this case?
Thanks for sharing and this are great questions! I’ll make sure to do a video on this topic.
I remember a lot of nights before bed thinking "I wish I knew what it was like to have a vagina, even if only in my dreams". It hasn't happened yet.
Thank you for another wonderful video.
Personally I feel it occasionally, maybe a few times a week, but in the grand scheme it's the least of my worries
Thanks for sharing!
I think I'm experiencing the dormancy effect. I started socially transitioning back in December 2019 and presented female full time since then. I'm nearly 9 months HRT and feeling increasingly uncomfortable with my male genitalia. I particularly dislike seeing the "bulge" so I tuck very tightly. I'm unsure if I want GRS but if I was to wake up tomorrow in a female version of my body, I'd be sooooo happy.
Thank you for the video. I’ve watched many on here and your advice and expertise is number one.
I’m a category 2. Type 2. I love my genitals. I love using them. Just don’t love some other parts of my body.
Hi Dr Z.
You may have covered this off before (if so, can you please point me towards the relevant video), but if not, could you please explain the pros, cons, and risks of going on HRT and having surgeries for older trans people (50 plus). Appreciate you are not a medical professional but from your knowledge and experience - what are the medical risks and what steps should be taken to understand and mitigate those.
Love, Jess X
Hi. This is complex question because much of it depends on your age and your health history. This is why it can’t be generalized and best to be explored with a medical provider.