RiffTrax: Just Awful (Full FREE Short)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2024
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James is on his way to school when he gets a small cut on his finger. And if you don’t for one second believe that that thin, thin gruel got turned into a seventies educational short, then what the hell have you been watching us riff for the past seventeen years??
Bleeding makes James feel Just Awful, which frankly, is good news. If it had been the opposite, say, if James felt increasingly stronger and confident as he watched his lifeblood seep out of his fingertip, the lawsuits would probably still be working their way through the court system. Instead, James gets to pay a visit to the school nurse, who is just relieved to for once have a student who is not going to barf up his Snack Pack on her.
Slice off the top of a non-essential digit, preferably your own, and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Just Awful!
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Remember, kids, never wash your cut when it's fresh. Always sit around waiting for the nurse to eventually get around to it.
I am baffled that in the US, they have nurses to take care of these things. Instead of you know, giving staff first aid training. Nurses that work in school in Ontario do lice checks and see to the needs of kids with complex medical conditions.
@@Reichieru1 I know this movie is old, but our nurses still make a fuss out of nothing. I got a call at work once when son was in elementary school. My supervisor said it was the school nurse so I was very concerned. She told me my son had scratched his head and she put a bandaid on it. They would be sending home paperwork, but she wanted to assure me that he was okay. It was literally a scratch!
"And remember to remind the nurse to wipe her finger over the wound as she does so. You think a stomach ache is better, try a staph infection!"
@@LB-gz3keAnd meanwhile (ok, a while ago) I went to the school nurse for my incredibly painful periods when they started in the middle of the day, and the chuck a slightly warm water bottle at you & give you Tylenol (which never worked for me, at all. Would not allow ibuprofen?) They make you go to the nurse, and don't let you say what helps. I learned to just walk home when this happened after writhing in pain with a teacher making fun of me... Good times🙄
Eh it will be ok I’ve seen worse - nurse
"Just Awful!" Golden Corral's newest slogan!
Lmfao!!!
There it is
It could also work for Waffle House.
Perhaps the line is retired because they are artists.... but this is one of those things that need never go away. Hope the fans will continue to keep it alive. I love it because the line can be sprung on you when least expected. It works everytime.
@@chrisnemec5644 I always thought Waffle House's slogan was "Catch these hands!"
The Nurse took out a great big band-aid.
"But she didn't apply it until shown proof of insurance!"
And then a couple of weeks later he got a bill for $100
It's almost as if we all watched this video and heard that line too or something.
8 minutes long and it still feels padded
I was three minutes in and couldn't believe it wasn't over yet.
@@HylianFox3 I was 3 minutes in and couldn't believe it hadn't started yet
@@Loehengrin No, it was just awful right off the bat.
I laughed way too hard at, "This removes the horrible stain of your sin."
Teacher is a powerful telepath and was teaching a class on building Interocitors.
"Are you boys cooking in there?"
See, kid? This is what happens when you don't watch "Shake Hands With Danger."
Remember kids: If the nurse doesn't hug you, she's silently wishing you had died from blood loss.
Narrator: "it was just after lunch when it happened"
Bill: Dessert.. LOL!
If the teacher didn't write a note would James have been sent back to class by the hall monitor to bleed all day?
Yup... schools were ran like prison in those days.
He could've sat in class, wiping it on his shirt.
Eventually looking like a gun shot wound. (true story)
Nobody even checked the note!
Yeah, you've got it!
Since the molten planet cooled and former a solid crust, no classroom full of children has ever been that excited to see someone doing basic math problems.
Math problems with no operator, which confuses and therefore angers me deeply.
You can leave off operators when everyone communicates by thought. Even writing the numbers on the board was a sign of the teacher's lack of faith in her students. @@bobbyfeet2240
Nurse must've been pretty generous with the Percocet that day.
....and so, during his visit to the nurses office, a young Quentin Tarantino realized for the first time he enjoyed the sight of a lady's bare foot
The lesson of this short: Don't wear oversized belts because they can screw up your center of gravity and make you fall.
"Hey kid, let us taste the blood!" 🤣
My nurse in highschool knew that I faked sick so much she purposely kept a pillow and blanket in a closet and always let me sleep through gym class. She was the best
Best nurse
I’m a nurse to and hell I’d even turn the tv on to price is right
Giggling uncontrollably for the last 30 seconds at Kevin Murphy's vocal instrumentation left me wondering if I had lost my mind or was the sanest person on the planet.
I like his "wha- huh?" when the music skips
So happy they recognized the theme from Grass! 🌽
"At Your Bleeding Fingertips: GRASSES"
But they still haven’t answered the question… “Is corn grass?” 😂
Can't decide whatvi liked better, the death row monologue or the line, "The soy sauce is for flavor!" 😂😂😂
James would return to the nurse later that day after the Undertaker challenged him for his belt and powerbombed him through the arts and crafts table.
This made me laugh WAY harder than it should have XD XD
It was Stomachache's turn. The nurse barely looked his way before saying, "There's nothing I can do for a stomachache. If your tummy really hurts that bad, you can sit out recess. Now go back to class."
Source: Have escorted several Stomachaches to the nurse.
I am DESPERATELY curious to know exactly what the Nurse did to cure a stomach-ache in 20 seconds and why she hasn't used it to get rich.
@@Scipio488 Probably some old-fashioned laudanum.
Ah the good old days at Thorazine Elementary School.
Creepy how everyone communicates telepathically in this place
Yeah. ..noticed that too. It eliminates having to learn lines.
@@zoeyrochellezhombie829 Or setting up sound equipment and doing voice overs.
They are on Talus IV.
2:16 For the rest of his life, this poor kids nickname was ‘stomach ache’. 😂
Thin plot. Shallow characters. Excessive exposition. Gratuitous gore.
I remember my elementary school nurse - she smelled like cigarettes and tested our backs for scoliosis. Pretty much all she did.
Well it worked didn't it!
How did the school nurse solve his stomach ache completely almost instantly?!
She hugged a big fart out of him, that usually does the trick
He puked.
Went in for the preferred hug and she sucker-punched him in the gut, purging his system. @@mjwh13eglove44
MAGIC! 🧚♂️
Hmm, was laudanum still legal when they filmed this?
Maybe Mrs. Smith should teach James how to close a door!
Argh! That bothered me too!
Great, now I can't say "sympathy candy" without laughing 🤣
So, why didn't the nurse pour peroxide on it so it would STING LIKE HELL!!??
Mah boi ! This Riff is what true watchers strive for ! 🤴☝️
Oh boy! I can't wait to riff a new movie!
Nobody’s going to mention the cold, hollow Stepford wife glare that everyone just gives that kid?
Stephen King hated this version of The Shining.
I lost it at "redrum" 🤣
a kid in Nurses office with vampiric goldfish is definitely a Stephen King short story in the making
Whatever happened to just licking the cut until it stopped bleeding and not washing it for days?
You're supposed to wipe it on your pants, duh!😂
Classic Danny Torrence pose
Thought for sure Tony was gonna start speaking lol
Kid definitely has The Shine😂😂😂
Holy cow, James’ belt…he would need a spotter just to put it on.
It’s safe to say, James is suffering from early onset depression.
I have some questions.
1. Are we really to believe a six year old boy of the rough and tumble days of the early 70's is even going to notice he cut his finger, much less act like he's knocking on death's door over it?
2. Why did every student in the classroom spin around and stare at him when he quietly came in the already open door at the beginning of class?
3. Was there radioactive dirt where he fell and cut his finger that gave him superhuman math skills or something? Why were his classmates staring at him in awe while he was at the chalkboard? I thought Ralphie's teacher was grading his theme there for a minute.
😂😂😂
The hug wasn't the weirdest thing, it's how the kids reminded me of Village of the Damned
"Well I already cut my finger, I might as well just throw myself down the stairs." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm going to use this short to show my children what they're missing out on by being homeschooled.The inmates I was stuck with in a school ike that weren't nearly so peaceful though.
James watched the goldfish, who had gone mad from being in a crowded, round bowl with no filtration or oxygenation system. Then he went to see the mad woman who kept them this way.
Shake hands with Danger!
I'm subscribed. But I can't help watching whatever comes up. You guys helped me through my teen years. You're the best ever. ❤😂
James and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? Indeed!
Compare to Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day written by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz. Both the book and this film were made in 1972.
Hello Riffers.
I just got *"RiffTrax: The Game"* Just a few day's ago.
Nurse takes 20 minutes, TWENTY MINUTES!, to aid the sore toe. She's really making a day out of it. Meanwhile Jimbo may have bled out completely, also missing out valuable education time. He'll be behind on the rest of the class for the rest of the trimester.
Jimbo comes back in class in with a raised finger, immedeatly gets a turn.
golden corral's new slogan.
Our school nurse was, like, seventy years old, too 😮😅😮😊
Was school nurse the only job an older 1970s woman close to retirement could get?
Our school nurse was named...wait for it...Mrs. Bone! :D
@@random22026 Ours was Ms Lotz and she despised q tips, absolutely despised q tips Lol 😂😆
Mine was always on lunch break. Somehow.
"Red rum" made me laugh.
There must have been a sale on "Pirate Belts" where his mom shops for school clothes.
This is my first Nurse Movie where the Nurses don't get undressed.
Sheesh, the kid is sent to see the nurse over a tiny cut and he acts like he's being sent to the gas chambers.
I was little kid in the 80s, and many of us were rushed to the nurse's office due to lots of bleeding from the playground being made of pointy steel and asphalt. As a teen in the 90s, many of us got to try to slow the bleeding from shop class while we headed to the nurse's office. I don't think kids get hurt much at school in the 2000s unless someone attacks them.
No no, some girls definitely dropped me on my head while playing "cheerleading" at recess circa 2002
@@OppositeofHATE7 that'd suck!
My school never had a school nurse.
Wait, he went to the nurse for that?
I went to elementary school in the 80s. Stapled my thumb, in 2nd grade clear to the other side. And didn't go to the nurse, just pulled it out, washed it, and put dirt on it at recess.
This kid is weak.
First the cleaning, then the morphine....
So that's why they all come out smiling
Bobby Brady's worst day before Tiger the dog disappeared.
Hot watching the clock and waiting your turn action!
Where can I find that nurse, I have chronic back pain, asthma, allergies, sore neck and I twisted my right ankle while trying to look cool rollerskating 30 years ago and it still hurts.
I'm so sorry. Ankles suck; you think you're going to heal and move on, and your ankles like😼 Muahahaha!!!
I feel like kids being afraid of the school nurse isn't a thing. Don't kids pretend to need to see the nurse just so they don't have to be in class?
The only scary thing is when they send you back to class after a wet paper towel while lying down for 20 minutes
Whenever I actually had to go to the nurse, yeah, there'd be at least one kid in there treating it like social hour
Great riffing 😅
Some serious "Tom goes to the Mayor" Jefferton Alive vibes from that school.
Thank you gentlemen! 🤣🤣🤣
He knew what he'd done and who he'd hurt...
"I give them tea. At least that's something."
--Calvin Coolidge High School nurse in "Up the Down Staircase.
When I was that kid's age, the teacher would probably have gotten the paddle out and given me a whack or two for being a clumsy idiot. And beside that, we didn't have a school nurse anyway.
3:57 she got some Vicodin and a Xanax. No one is gonna ruin her high today
Those are the creepiest fish ever.
the PSA gives me major Jacob Two-Two vibes
Three shorts this week?! I feel just great!
Using the score to Cool Hand Luke, probably not the best choice
Jesus this short started out so depressing. Kid looked like he was committed to his death sentence over a little cut. And was the narrator on Valium?
I gotta feel for the kid, he's obviously so poor he had to get his shirt from a Brady Bunch yard sale...
daishi…. I thought I saw that shirt before
@@elderlypoodle9181Yes, the Brady kids were the peak of fashion in the 70's...
lots of kids dressed like that back then
@@SpamEggSausage My little brother did 😁.
@@SpamEggSausageYes. Yes we did (I grew up in the 70's. And boy, were those days great! ) Anyway, it's good to see 'The Finger Cut Kid' got his 3 Stooges eye-poker finger back, the index is primary for a thorough, effective ocular trauma event ✌
The goldfish!
They missed a great riff, should've sang "The snack that smiles back" X)
Redrum 😂 🎉
the kid was so scared because one of his grandparents told him about his family's history with hemophilia
Man I wish I can wear that dress and hat like that
Got a big enough belt there kid?
Remember your first day in the yard- show off your battle wounds.
"Because he was a self involved white male"- Kevin Murphy
I didn't know Kevin had a degree in intersectional women's studies
I can deal with a bad political joke or two, thankfully they don't base all their comedy on skewed perspectives.
0:36 I think the kid was really bleeding.
And here's the band from "At Your Fingertips: Grass" to play us out!
4:10
WHAT happened to you?
Kid: Well, for the last 45 minutes, I've been bleeding out in your waiting room.
How about you fix me up, without cutting my slacks to get at the bullet!
Speed it up too, so I can get back out there and find Scorpio! He sent another letter this morning!!
Narrator:
'It seems like he really did loose a lot of blood. He had a fever and was imagining himself as Dirty Harry for the last 20 minutes.
Maybe he should have listened to Mom. Those films were not for young kids after all.'
“ Life in the nurses office “…..😆
7:21 I thought that madness-inducing background music sounded familiar...
"James didn't bother to learn their names as he was a self-involved white male."
Isn't bringing race into everything AWESOME?!?!?!
@@kanna-san. Gosh I love it when comedians I used to love start bringing racial and gender politics into what they do. =_=
I see one half of the Grady twins, where is the other one?
6:33
The way he took those staires, I think the nurse must have slipped him some Morphine because she was all out of lollipops!!
fentanyl lollipops ...
Why did it take 8 minutes to tell the kids "if you get a cut, see the nurse"?
Also, has this ever been a child's reaction to getting a small cut? I feel like they either (a) wouldn't care at all or (b) would scream and freak out and the adults would get involved immediately. This kid basically just waits for the sweet embrace of a death that never comes‽
These are the REAL horror movies….
Lol I Love that they are only named by their injuries!
Is this one of those loopholes? You only get paid, if you get a name!
The nurse was just giving the kids morphine, and they’d leave her office with a smile. “Hey, maybe this bone sticking out of my arm isn’t really that bad!” thought James, as Nurse Kratchet injected him with 50cc of “the good stuff”.
“Now go back to class and do math problems that have no operation sign.”
Village of the Damned 😱
Yep, just by the thumbnail, i knew there was gonna be a “Shining” reference…
. What no one else but James knew was when the nurse put a band aid on the window it meant that she was dipping into the morphine supply and liked to have someone to talk to.
James knew if the cops kicked in the door he would take the fall for all of it. But it was worth it to hear her stories
About flatbackin to make money then later being an old lady for a member of Hells Angels . Before she died she wrote a best selling book called ..switchblades and the open road.
And the hemophiliac kid bled out on the nurse's entrance floor while waiting
Are they in the Village of the Damned?
I thought that was Bobby Brady
Lol
Bobby Brady in the early version of The Shining