I started sobbing when you said "this is only a week in misogyny not a year" because I just can't do this anymore... we're so used to waking up to these kinds of news that it's not even shocking anymore, it's just expected. I seriously don't know how to go on
As a black autistic man I have experienced news articles that were negative towards black men and autistic men. But the misogyny that I saw on the news and social media this week, hell this year has been disgusting to me. It really made me look at myself and look at the way I interact with anyone. Even though I identify as a feminist I know that there's some things that I need to work on. I'm not always going to be perfect but I am willing to learn and I'm going to support women and fems in my life.
Yeah, this tracks. From actual scientific research (female-coded names, as well as "foreign sounding" names got fewer responses to questions for information, to job applications, to questions about cooperation in the academic field etc), to anecdotal twitter threads about a guy accidentally using his female colleagues email and suddenly understanding why it takes her so much longer to finish tasks for clients, because, turns out, she has to convince them that her ideas work, even if those ideas are not even hers but industry standard. He switched with her for a week I think, and he was exhausted. She had the most restful and productive week of her life. It is exhausting.
i have no pics of myself on my ig and guess what 0 pp pics in my dms ,i got accused of being a catfish guy ,and someone i meet on a dating app found my ig and called me a red flag cuz i dont have pics of myself/naked pics on my ig cuz''all women are are sx objects who demand attention from men '' if i had a dollar when i used vc in a video game from the year 2021-now i got male moaning ,deaththreats or demands i send them nudes id be rich i dont do social stuff on video games cuz of that ..2018-2020 i did vc and there were a lot women and non sexist ,men and made friends so yea.... they treat us as objects ,entitled to us ,are violent and r us but call US THE PROBLEM AND BALME US FOR THEIR BEHAVIOUR WHILE SAYING MEN ARE DOMINANT AND ALPHA WHILE WOMEN DUMB|????
I'm transmasc and so have experienced both edges of the sword. I've been assaulted, catcalled, demeaned, pursued by old men as a minor. And now that I've begun transitioning I've noticed some women are afraid/uncomfortable when I try to do 'normal' things I would have done before as a "woman" like compliment their outfit (which is a valid reaction, given well, everything).
As a transfem it is very interesting and also sad to see both sides. Back in the day boys also assaulted and catcalled me but for homophobic reasons and now im also feeling the same but for other new reasons and the added bonus of not being taken as seriously as i was before. Honestly gender seems so restrictive at times and also just very silly. It asks of everyone to perform or censor themselves because of the hierarchy, making everyone more miserable specially those who step out of bounds.
as a trans man, (i am very fortunate as i have been able to completely pass for about 2 years now), the fact that misoginy exists is so obvious i get really annoyed when i hear cis men saying it does not. the fact that ever since i started passing i can exist now without being questioned by other men, that my thoughts can be heard, that i can exist as a person without being viewed as an object is so freeing (obviously i still live in fear of cis men because of my many bad experiences when i was still presenting as a woman). that feeling of freedom should be something everyone experiences and its just so frustrating knowing that so many femme-presenting people have to deal with that on an everyday basis. (english is my second language so sorry for any mistakes)
The fact that men think it's an insult to a woman to say that they wouldn't sleep with her is mindblowing. Your little guy isn't the center of the world my dude! The fact that any woman will be deprived of ever getting to see it isn't anything to write home about. She will survive not having to feel your little friend inside her, I guarantee it!
It's sad that the term "freedom of speech" is thrown around so lightly nowadays, people think they can say the most horrific things and just throw that card, and face no consequence. People no longer know what an actual opinion is, and what harmful ideologies are. It's just sad, and repugnant.
I'm not really that shocked that some men use freedom of speech as a get out of jail free card there probably the same a holes who misuse the word boundary to get there way
This is debatable. Freedom of speech is meant to go both ways. Throttling this freedom usually ends up backfiring. Inserting a wide ranged law is always worse than going after specific people and their specific horrible ideas. Other side started using the same rhetoric to paint left ideologies as extreme as a backlash. It is also harmful in other ways. Look at all ideologies as a piece of paper. If you cut off the margins all the time all you can talk about in the end is the weather and even that will be controversial enough to be banned. There needs to be a place for factual discussion. Not researching some theories in an academic environment because you are afraid of possible results and could be canceled because of it is more terrifying to me than some marginal incel with a mic.
When I was in middle school, I was bullied continuously by a group of boys. It happened pretty much everyday, the teachers didn’t care even when it was happening in front of them. I don’t know the exact reason for their indifference but I think misogyny had a lot to do with that since they had the mindset ‘boys will be boys’. Actually this video opened my eyes to how big of a problem misogyny is these days and how it’s tied to my bad experiences in the past.
Trans guy here. Came out after living 45 years presenting as a woman. I understand misogyny far better now; can't see the forest for the trees idea. It sounds like a little thing but walking out the door and not thinking about how I look is a huge weight gone. And it wasn't about really specific things like looking attractive enough, or modest enough, or put together enough (although those things were there.) It's knowing that I'm not going to get _looked_ at constantly as a dude. Women are scrutinized and judged incessantly. By men and women. As a white, middle aged, middle class guy I'm invisible in a way I didn't know existed. And it is so relieving. Sadly I don't have any answers but part of my responsibility as a trans man (in my own mind) is to validate the experiences of women. Women are far too often told that it's in their heads, or their responsibility or other BS. It's not. It's real and it's harmful, from the big obvious things like assault down to the daily public inspection. Stay strong sisters and stay angry.
First off, I’m sorry your father had such a negative and ignorant reaction to you just wearing makeup. That is my worst fear and insecurity when expressing myself through my appearance. I feel a sense of guilt sometimes when I wear cute clothes or makeup or smile at a compliment about my appearance because I am worried about how much of it is self-confidence or a desire to fit in the standards of the male gaze. I’m afraid of people using it as an excuse to call me an “attention seeker” or treat me like an object. It’s beautiful that you are so confident in expressing yourself. You deserved more respect.
Most of all, I'm tired of men who think they are not part of the problem just because they don't commit actual physical violence against women. As if that makes them somehow "not one of those guys" And then these same men get drunk during a date and suddenly become hyper grabby with their girlfriend thinking this is ok bc it's seduction & romance, despite her repetedly saying "please don't touch my body like that in public" as if just bc this is a date and they are in seduction mode it gives them the right to act that way. (yes, this is a personal annecdote from barely 48h ago... 😣)
@@seashellgarden2227 thank you so much! Yes, I took the weekend to think on it and I sent him a message to end things, listing all that he did the other night in a calm manner. He said was sorry, that he understood and won't contact me again -- so at least this got a "nice" resolution! I wished it would end in a similar way for all women ❤🩹
I cannot express how validating 15:43 was. The andrew tate segment, pre-incarceration, I was rightfully pissed when talking about this with male friends who saw him as a non-threat or at worst "disagreeable", so the fact that post-incarceration are producing these numbers and teachers all over keep saying how scary this behaviour is within men....I truly feel like im not hysterical. I was right back then and im right now. Im tired. Im on all levels tired of people not prioritizing protecting women from misogyny or seeing the urgency in this. It feels hopeless on top of everything else currently going on. Covid, BLM, the massive queerphobia, especially transphobia...like can I have 1 part of my identity thats able to breathe. Holy fuck. The entire "im tired" section made me cry, like...wow if there's any hopepunk to be found in this, is that im not alone and its not wrong to feel with way. Thank you for speaking up about this, its so comforting to hear my exact sentiments being broadcasted on this platform. Especially when this type of convo, tends to attract the very bitter and hateful (terfs) or the very dismissive and other wise hateful (misogynistic men), like I was searching for months for a voice of reason, someone to just express the grief without trying to pull me into the void of hate and bigotry. I wanna express grief without being silenced and diminished by male feelings, I wanna express grief without being recruited into the terf cult. You have brought me a lot of solace in 25 minutes, after months of grieving in silence and feeling alone. Thank you 🤍
Meanwhile I have kids in my class (some were young women) talking about how hard it is to be a straight white man because they can’t apply for some scholarships for being straight white men and that feminism isn’t great always actually. I know that I’m from a bigger city and I have a degree that involved more research for less important topics then they would’ve done on anything in their lives, they’re also younger than me and likely haven’t been groped in broad daylight like I have. They’re young, they’re growing but good god it’s hard to talk to them sometimes because they don’t understand how bad it really is.
@@talistheintrovert Thank you, it also just makes me sad because otherwise they’re lovely people. The straight white guy who made the scholarship comments, we had a lovely conversation the day before about The Legend of Vox Machina. They’re good people, they just have bad opinions and won’t listen to me because I’m in the minority of these conversations.
@@amethystimagination3332 I think that’s the problem right there. Society, parents, caretakers, educators whatever you call it they don’t even teach young boys that it makes them bad people to behave misogynistic on its own. I experienced similar situations and often found myself thinking if only they knew if they only saw the truth they would be such great people however that was just not the case and I had to come to understand that you can’t be otherwise good in this scenario. I’m just tired of having to prove things to people about feminism related topics it’s just too much.
Also there really is something in the horror that is your body not belonging to yourself. I still vividly remember how after puberty kicked in I started to be treated extremely differently. It's horrible. I was only 12, but that didn't matter. My body was no longer mine, it was for others to consume.
Shit from young it was your virginity is important for your future husband. You are not yours but the lords. Your body is lords temple. Your life is not your but the lords. It was annoying af
This needs to be seen by everyones parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and whatever enby siblings of parents are called and siblings and friends.
Fatphobia gets me so angry now, before it let me sad and before that scared for my safety (since I was a child and had people make decisions about my life bc of it), now that I'm a adult it should be my own business right? It's my health and I should be the one that know best how and if I want to handle it, but NO, relatives that live in another city and never cared before or even came for birthdays and etc feel entitled to lecture me about how unhealthy I am bc of course I must be unhealthy, they just know it by just looking at me. Goddammit, I hate all this.
This. I visited my sister recently, who mentioned that our mother had commented on her daughter, who is 3 btw and actually too small for her age, because she had a little belly. Even if the girl was a chubby little toddler, who fncking cares, but she isn't chubby, if anything she's still pretty thin and small, and my sister has a lot of worries about her child because she had issues with her organs from birth, she was always ill, barely ate, and also has allergies. This kid barely grew as a baby, a period where she should have doubled in size. And our mother saw fit to comment on her belly after she (finally) ate an entire plate's worth of food. Not only that, our mother compared this toddler to her little sister, who is 2,5 years younger and almost the same weight by now, and talked about how a literal baby was too big. A chubby little baby and a thin toddler. And how very dare they have bellies and soft little baby hands. My sister was enraged. She has done a lot to make sure her kids feel loved and know they are beautiful, (and also trying to not make them feel as if beauty is as important as society is making them think it is) and a literal toddler was so worried about her belly she asked about it several times after one visit from her grandmother. It was never more clear to me where my issues with weight and food come from. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I had flashbacks.
@@AnnekeOosterink damn, that is awful and shows how early it starts, Im glad your sister is doing her best to fight it. I'd love to have had a mother like that
Thankyou for putting into words the fear I've been feeling for *so* long. I have so much mental shit around men treating me like an object of desire, I genuinely prepare myself for new male friends to disappoint me. I *love* the good and kind men in my life that can separate my sex from my worth but they are few and far between and I am so tired of having to double check every new friendship, every interaction, every potential misinterpretation of my words. I'm just...tired.
I have to thank you for this, even if I feel more than a little nauseous. What makes me angriest is that I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know where to start. How do you fix something that's so casually accepted like this? And like, I've been INCREDIBLY lucky. I've never had anything really bad happen to me, and I still need to look behind me sometimes when I'm just walking to the store, because sometimes there are guys in cars who will follow teenage girls who are just trying to live their life. And that should not be considered normal. I should not feel lucky that that's the worst I've been exposed to. These are the kinds of things that make me hate humanity.
My wife as a Teacher &nd a larger woman gets harassed way more than I do. By even her highschool students. ShT is gotten way out of control. Its only going to get worse 2. I stay out of the public as much as possible. Its not safe at all. Its bad.
This Week in Misogyny could easily be a regular segment on a news show; and it would probably be spun as a positive on certain platforms. It is indeed a never-ending story, with less luck dragons and more rolling voids of nothingness. Depressing topic, top notch video though, as per.
10:45-11:22 this part.. i have to share a little something in my early teens i tried to learn how to wear makeup, as a teen girl does. and every single time i tried my family, my sister, would look at me in disgust and say things like "who are you wearing that for" and "who are you trying to impress at school" and that i was 'too young to be getting slutty' (i was TWELVE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS). I just wanted to learn makeup and look nice. I would have been 12-14 when she was saying these things and i'm 25 now. I haven't worn makeup in over 10 YEARS, because i don't know how, i never got the chance to learn, because i was SHAMED into not learning and being told that wearing it meant that i was asking for attention and doing it for other people. my SISTER was the one spewing this misogynistic rhetoric at teenage me and surely if my sister was saying it to my face then everyone else felt the same, right? so i've been incredibly self conscious in my appearance for over a decade, i look tired all the time, i never look nice next to others in makeup and always feel 'underdressed' at events where its expected a woman would wear makeup, especially that i'm not even close to being conventionally attractive enough to pull off not wearing it. if i try wearing makeup now i'm still afraid of how i'll be perceived, the comments i'll get - e.g. 'i'm only doing it bc i've never been pretty enough for a relationship and makeup will fix that' etc, or that i will be harassed by men even more when i start wearing it. i still feel that shame and fear and it stops me every time. this is just a drop in the ocean of misogyny and by far not the worst thing that has happened but those seemingly inconsequential words had, and still does have, such a profound impact on my self image and self worth. so yeah fuck anyone that judges women and young teens about wearing makeup and insisting that its for anyone other than ourselves.
Small note, the girl that died wasn't the one who said no. She intervened to protect her friend who rejected her ex boyfriend. Its still awful and horrific and relevent yo the conversation
that bit about makeup at the end really hit home for me as a nonbinary afab person. i love makeup, doing it brings me so much joy, but it is always bright and colorful and bold and glittery because it’s a way for me to express myself. it’s not to make me look “more appealing”, it’s for me to preform my gender in a way that makes me feel confident. and every time i hear cis women talk about how they wear makeup and why stopping wearing makeup made them feel liberated, my heart aches a little. because it is so terrible to me that a fun art form like makeup can be so stripped of the fun because of patriarchy and misogyny to the point that so many women can’t enjoy it anymore.
Honestly, I was introduced to your channel with Psych, I truly appreciate how hard you look into this video and really bring a lot of insight, and it's eye-opening how much I've learned with this video! I've watched a few videos on similar topics, and just thank you for talking about these. I just hope that people really watch these! Thank you so much!
Thank you, thank you 💜 I kept thinking i was going crazy seeing all of this and feeling alone in the horror of it all. Im really grateful for the efforts you took to make this it was incredibly validating that my concerns are legitimate and even the joke at the end gave me a good chuckle and wow did I need that! Sending peace and love to all 💖💜
This might be one of the most accurate descriptions of how I (and probably many others) have felt over the past years, and that is so depressing to think about. These people are making it really hard to feel any shred of hope for a better future. In fact, I'm actively scared of thinking about the future, bc I don't know how long I'll be able to take living in a world like this- let alone worse. But at least I now know I'm not alone in having these feelings, and that does bring me (and again, I think many others also) some comfort. Thank you for sharing this💜
Slightly off topic but as an asexual person this "you only put makeup on for other people" mindset has held me back from so many things in life because I didn’t want people to think I’m trying to be sexy or attract others. Comments like your father’s were also made towards me when I for once as a teenager came out of my shell and tried on some makeup. It’s a big reason (not the only one though) why I only developed enough courage to wear something on the revealing side a few years ago, why I never until now got into dancing even though I really wanted to, why I’m only now comfortable experimenting with makeup. Luckily I’m letting go of what others might think I’m trying to achieve and am generally more free in my decisions but I would just like if people could not project their horniness onto me and stop being like "oh where are you off to what’s the occasion winkwink" whenever I’m slightly dressed up.
Talis, I honestly don't remember how I found your channel, but I'm so glad I did. I love hearing what you have to say on things, even when it's horrible things. It makes the existential void less voidsome ❤
ive also had to start exploring this topic in my own spaces and life, and thank you for sharing that antidote and talking about this is in a tangible, non-overwhelming way
Pre-video comment: Coming to watch this to escape my family putting Bill Maher on, in which one of the guests is Ron DeSantis. After video comment: The horrid events that have been discussed in the video reminds me why I actively avoid talking to anyone. Our society has built up such a mistrust between people due to patriarchal misogyny, structural racism, casual homophobia, acceptance of transphobia, etc. to where at least for me, I think it's best to limit communication with strangers as much as possible. Of course that doesn't even stop harm coming to others, it may actually increase it because some godamn idiots think a slient person is immediately a threat. Idk what to do.
Reading all the comments and people's stories is just....sad doesn't begin to describe it. And it's tiring but we need need need to talk, we need to hold on (god i'm tired and everyone else is too). As always, love your breakdown of the whole situation and issues etc.! Wishing you and everyone else here hope and strength and maybe a tiny vacation from this bs (that would be the dream wouldn't it)
Every time I've tried to bring up that the Southport attack was misogynistic people are so hasty to wait for "more information". It's a Taylor Swift dance party full of little girls. How is that not about women?
I've been feeling like it's getting worse lately. Was very validating to hear you say at the end that in the last 18 months we have lost so much progress. Do you know why this has happened? What is going on? Ive personally and from other women heard so many stories lately about harassment. Someone close to me rejected a man's offer to buy her a coffee and he called her a disrespectful slut. This was at 8am in the city where there were plenty of other people. Wtf is going on?
It absolutely has, and not just for women. Hate crimes of all sorts have been going up steadily since 2015, but the vitriol towards women specifically has taken a nasty uptick in particular lately. The conservative movement in the west has been moving more and more reactionary. That being a stay at home mom isn't just a nice idea if you're up for that and your family can actually afford it, but a fucking political movement as "Trad wives" is just the tip of a very frightening iceberg.
it's the proliferation of reactionary conservative ideas, because the internet has made them so mainstream since covid when people's contact with the outside world was through the Internet. its so scary
@talistheintrovert that makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I was wondering if it had to do with what is spreading on the internet. The stats you mentioned in your vid about Andrew Tate supporters are super concerning
on the note of misogyny, here in Iran, a teenage girl was murdered and her body was thrown in a dam lake by her own father bc she "came home late" :))))
I'm a trans man who started passing and the worst part is when women no longer feel safe around me. I don't know how cis men don't notice it or don't care to change it
This year I was indirectly impacted by the murder of a young woman. This particular young woman was murdered in cold blood with 50 stab wounds by a former boyfriend because how dare she evolve and grew as a person, and how dare she build a good life for herself since breaking up with this monster years ago. The average man cannot comprehend how it feels as a woman to live with the possibility of being murdered by a misogynist just because they considered inside their sick mind that you AS A WOMAN should die for bruising their brittle sick ego and also for whatever else reason they consider valid. I have suffered plenty of misogyny throughout my life and I would love for men to get a dose of their medicine and especially to feel the excruciating pain of the parents that have lost their daughters because of a misogynistic murderer.
I've been playing through Cyberpunk 2077 and every ad in that game is so sexual and so male gaze-oriented that it's really distressing for me to walk around Night City and trying to explain how upsetting it is to my male partner, who is most other ways is really loving and attentive, is frustrating and feels pointless because every time I try to talk about it, he says something like "oh that's just part of the dystopia" or "well that's what's distressing about Cyberpunk is how close it is to the real world as it is now" and I just don't have the language or emotional capacity to explain my point of view in a way that he'll listen to. I also want to trust men, but even the ones who are "on our side" have these blind spots where you can be screaming "OH MY GOD IT'S A METEOR ABOUT TO HIT THE EARTH" and they'll just say "I don't see it so it must not be real".
I LOVE how everyone forgets "freedom of speech" is legally limited as well and lies (like... Perjury or... Defamation for instance) are actually sometimes federal crimes. That's what we should collectively rebrand hate speech as. Defamatory lies. I've been saying this for years. Also I did *not* expect to get triggered by this video (I know. Silly me.) but my clownass got triggered by this video for a hot minute during the fatphobia part. Had a quick cry. Carried on. All this shit is legitimately tiring. This is why I'm ready to crutch people who say dumb shit.
I wrote a wholeass two-paragraph comment but TH-cam seems to have auto-deleted it. 8\ I don't have the energy to write that whole thing out again, but take my engagement anyway.
preach, girl 💜 proud of you for even having the strength to talk about this stuff, (i sure don't have that strength anymore,) and you do it with so much insight, too.
I’ve had to have a conversation like this to another guy. Who didn’t believe the patriarchy is was a thing, either now or in the past. I went on a whole history talk about how misogyny has existed for millennia. I talked about how men and women are not a different species and if we treated each other with equity, we might have had less physical differences that cause such debate to this day. I talked about how women are at a constant fear of being harassed to the point where things we do in our daily lives are infeasible for them because of a power dynamic held in the hands of men. I even talked about the double standards and “damned if you do” situation that we can see every single day if we just tried to step into a woman’s shoes. He ended up telling me why he was so fearful of admitting to the tragic existence of the patriarchy: he didn’t want his hard work to be invalidated on account of being a man. This narrative, I think, is being perpetuated by people calling themselves feminists whilst also supporting misogyny. The patriarchy does not mean all men are treated as kings. Of course men have to work in a patriarchal society. What it does mean is that women, no matter how much they try, will never get anything for their hard work but unwarranted and unimaginable abuse from the men, and even some women, who abuse a system built (not for the benefit of men, but) for the detriment of mothers, daughters, sisters. And I’ve fought the notion of “men and women don’t have worse situations than each other, they’re different”. I am a trans man. I grew up as a girl with, luckily, less misogyny than most other girls. I’ve been excluded from sports and academic opportunities because I was perceived as a girl. Even with social transitioning, I have seen a difference. I am treated with respect before I even say a single word, and nobody sneers when I don’t take a naturally apologetic stance for every action I take. Yes, people are more fearful of me. Yes, women struggle to look me in the eye and see me as a person first. But I don’t get catcalled, or harassed, or pressured into relationships that I am not comfortable with. I don’t have to fight so hard for the minimal appreciation I now receive naturally in academia. I haven’t even physically transitioned. My voice is still painfully feminine. Yet, I am treated so much better than women and girls ever are and harrowingly ever will be. Men struggle, that much I can get behind. But saying it isn’t any better than what women go through just invalidates all of the girls and women who get abused every single day because they dare to simply exist. The sad part is that there is a solution. It just starts by acknowledging the painfully obvious problem that we all face. Because at the end of the day, the suffering of half of humanity is an issue for all of humanity.
As a trans woman I want to make a note about the argument against terfs that goes "if youre going to try to hurt trans women by scrutinising every woman you see for masculine traits, youre going to hurt cis women too". This is true, after all we can see the whole trend of people tranvestigating any famous woman they dislike, but also its playing within the terfs game. Because it reinforces the idea the only valid pain to consider is that of cis people, that hurting trans people isnt bad because its downright fucking evil, but because cis women will be hurt as well. I know why we use the above argument, terfs dont care about our lives so you know they wont be convinced by pointing out how much pain and suffering they inflict on trans people, but at this point im not convinced they'll be convinced by the fact theyre hurting cis women either. The only time ive seen terfs stop and reflect and even change there actions isnt to stop hurting trans people or cis women, its when theyve upset cis men that hold horribly bigoted beliefs. When terfs see that theyve upset the Joe Rogans, the Matt Walsh's, the Andrew Tates even, thats when ive seen them stop and change how theyre behaving, because hurting cis women in their pursuit against trans people is seen as collateral damage, but making the men who also hate trans people uncomfortable is unacceptable to them. Why? Because to be a terf is simply another way to work to uphold patriarchal structures, its never been about actually fighting against them, its selling point to the people that have fallen into terfism is that they get to believe thats not the case, so a big part of our activism for trans people in feminist spaces has to be not allowing them the comfortably of not having to reckon with that.
This isn't a "You shouldn't use this argument" btw, I think pointing out the hypocrisy of terfs saying theyre protecting women's spaces meanwhile actively forcing the women they claim to be trying to protect to be feminine and in line is completely valid. I just also like to add this caveat because I think its something that goes unsaid a lot and I think it's something people need to hear more often, because there's also a lot of people, myself included sometimes, that can subconsciously see the pain of trans people as less important than of cis people, probably because its so goddamn much atm that its easy to become desensitised, so I like to mention this whenever I see something that can play into that, even just to remind myself to remember that.
Last night a guy tried to quit violently to grab my hand on the dance floor even when I repeatedly moved my arms over my head with the idea he would "get the hint" but no he did not and I was and still am mad about it
What's funny is I've literally danced with real knives in my flat (and no professional training). Yes I'm aware it was dangerous, but I claim the rest of the world do more dangerous things everyday like driving. And don't get me started on teenagers popping wheelies on bikes in the street.
I'm so tired... I love being who I am, but I hate that just having a feminine name on overwatch for example makes me a target for hate. I can play well, I can play badly, I can respond or not, but I'll always get sexist insults just because. And the worst part is I have it GOOD since apart from this I currently go through life without meeting a lot of potentially abusive men. I can just pay 10 bucks to change my name on that game and it will stop... unfortunately this can't be done for all the other hundreds of cases of misogyny a lot of women, nb and more feminine presenting folx have to put up with. I hate this so much
I think these situations speak to the myth of the "innocent bystander." If you witness something, and say nothing, while in theory you are still innocent, but you're certainly not helping anyone, and thus guilty by association. The adults, coworkers, parents, and others should be more aware of these things and how important it is for especially young men, to know how all these bad behaviours and rude comments all add up to a lot of issues when it comes to safety, and making sure people feel comfortable around you. I feel like someone needs to go into a room of teenage boys and say, "you'll never get a girl if you're making them all scared of you!"
Realizing I could opt into "performing femininity" when it appealed to me to do so, in just the specific ways that appealed to me, was a game changer. I wasted a lot of time trying to ensure I was never mistaken for being "like other girls". And that, is such ridiculous patriarchal bullshit...
I feel like we are living in 1930s Nazi Germany right now. I check the news on Microsoft Start News every day and there is usually some article about disabled people and benefits and the comments there make me shiver. The comments are just so cold and uncaring.
If it helps, the comments on news pages are like the most bottom-of-the-pit comment sections on the internet, made by old people, that, don't have too much time on this planet. Their judgment is exhausting, but, to me at least, the thought of only being left with shitty news outlet comments during your last years is more horrifying than the scrutiny faced frequently as a queer woman. When I think about it like that, it's less scary and more sad; and I'd honestly rather deal with sad than scary.
I knew it was bad but I had no idea how bad it actually was. I cannot understand how anyone could still hold Andrew Tate in a positive light, and the 15 year old girl that was murdered for turning someone down is horrifying, that's the age my niece is at.
I've seen a post somewhere, where someone pointed out that according to the logic of some people, Russian Roulette must be a completely save game, because #NotAllChambers
Being a trans man is an absolute trip sometimes, because we’ve typically experienced all of these things firsthand, but once we start to pass (if we do) we’re now on the other side, listening to how men talk about women when they’re not there. I work in a very male dominated field and I 100% have had to school some men because of how they were talking about women. I have been, and always will be an advocate for women, and now I’m in a very privileged place (so long as I pass which is most of the time) and I get to speak to these men on their level. I’m honestly very happy that I get to be that voice because I think a lot of men who have these views and say these things, are a lot more likely to listen to another man (as fucked up as that is) than they are a woman. So I know a lot of us trans men are out there, doing our part in the hopes that some men listen. And if they won’t, then we’ll at least be able to talk to future generations who will.
I'm only just watching the first clip rn FIRST OF ALL women do NOT need male validation, second of all, he's greasy and incompetent so there is no way she'd want to sleep with *him* (but he wouldn't even be able to consider that, would he?), third of all, what she's saying is meant to be merited for her words and not her sex appeal. She's talking for awareness...not to get laid by a guy who probably needs it more than she does (he seems like the incel men he's trying to separate himself from).
Every time I here things like this it makes me really upset and scared and the fact we have to rally the troops every time wears me out I am so afraid to date because of this and I'm hoping one day not to be :(
Suggested topics:. Good news about people coming together to fight misogyny, capitalism, --phobia. There is some. Like raisins in a shit sandwich, I grant you, but there is some good news.
I have three men in my life. My best friend who is trans and a non-binary man. Ive had a few instances of fear but mostly it is a safe person for me. My boyfriend who has 🍇ed me repeatedly. And a friend who used to have a crush on me and when i explained that my phone homescreen says "no such thing as an unloaded gun" because i need the reminder that there can be no such thing as a safe man / allocishet man. He told me i shouldnt worry about him being offended by that because he understands that hes obviously an exception. I am so very tired
This was a good video. Maybe spicier than I'd prefer. Patriarchy and Gender essentialism fucking sucks. I know there are too many truly shitty men. I met some back in college. But like as a man, I'm worried about lonely men who aren't inherently good or bad becoming shitty because of lots of social forces. Because rising male lonliness, makes rising male shittyness more likely. The social internet loves to make people hate eachother. And from Terfs to Girlboss Pop feminists, there are a notable amounts of spicy or toxic brands of feminism to make men start hating women. And after a man thinks feminism is about women = good, men = bad, rather the actual literature on oppression, disenfranchisement and harassment. Shit can get bad real fast.
15:32 That’s so interesting because as a first time viewer I was trying to figure out weather you’re a terf or not (I might have assumed the worse cuz you’re 🇬🇧 (terf island) which is wrong of me). But you’ve got a new subscriber!
I know I’m late to this video, but I feel like sharing something. One In middle school I was wearing a skirt, and this boy teased me for forgetting to shave my legs. Ever since then I always fussed about being presentable, but I’m trying hard not to care as much!
I respect your point and totally agree with what you're saying about pretty privilege, but I struggle to spell privilege right on first go. I always put a d or an e where they shouldn't or get so self-conscious that I go overboard on I's. It's a needlessly complicated word that makes me self-conscious (especially as an English major) and wonder if there's some deeper symbolism to this flaw. If nothing else, it makes me more self-aware of trying not to be rude to others. Other than that, good work as usual.
11:55 oh my god thank you so much for this article. I have been feeling this way about the whole pretty = harassment stuff my whole life. (for context, I used to be average-looking to unattractive, nowadays I am considered attractive) when I was younger, I remember talking to some of those at my lunch table, and one girl doubted I would ever be sexually harassed, probably due to my appearance. (I'm not blind) whenever I see women acting similarly, it feels like such a slimy and invalidating thing. Even though I was "mid", I was catcalled at 12, I saw statistics surrounding disabled people getting more sexually harassed, (even though, if their disability is visible, they might not fit the standards) I saw statistics around minorities being harassed, even though it's typically harder for them to appease beauty standards. And even though I am more conventionally attractive, I still feel the same way I did when I was average..? Maybe this is just me, but I almost feel more confident? It. Was. Never. About how attractive someone is. It was all about what the creeps thought they could get away with, with possibly a weird power dynamic. Like you said, power.
I will say, sometimes women not reaching out can be a result of trauma or dissociation rather than a lack of trust for the men around. I once was harassed by someone I'd legitimately trusted as a friend, and I think if I'd just considered it a an offense against me I wouldn't have said anything, but because I thought he was engaged (long tangent, that probably wasn't actually true but it was what I believed at the time) I went to a different friend and ranted about how he couldn't just treat HER like that. It wasn't until he (second friend) asked if I was ok that I realized that I wasn't. It was just easier to be angry for someone else than for myself.
So I've done a lot of different jobs I my life and I too have some tales. 1 was when I was in a certain well known chemist. I was a team manager. I had one member of staff who was a student from an even more Conservative country than the UK. This bloke had the gall to inform me he was supposedly doing a study for his degree based on why women wish to educate themselves and take managerial jobs from men!! I made a complaint to the store manager (who was ALSO problematic) and the lad under me was only fired when he sx@lly assaulted one of my team members outside the store!.. The other was when I first started in law. We'd taken on a temp to do holiday cover. He felt it was beneath him to do virtually anything, despite our female office manager (also a fully qualified solicitor) telling him that he needs to muck in as we don't do dictation and we all do our own scanning. Before he left, he proceeded to tell the same female manager, who had already set up 2 successful offices prior, that women in law don't make any money. He wasn't kept on, given the firm was mostly female staff and he was terrible at his job anyway. 😂😂
your last point about natural makeup looks being the trendy thing now really hit home… i see girls constantly poking fun at how they did their makeup in 2016 (carved out brows, colorful bright eyeshadow, glitter, etc) and how they’re so glad they switched to natural makeup because it “looks so much better” and it always rubbed me the wrong way even though i couldn’t figure out why. obviously there’s nothing wrong with natural makeup and for some folks it’s about embracing your natural features, but the fact that most “natural makeup” inspo photos are usually of thin, conventionally attractive fair-skinned women convinces me that it’s also completely rooted in patriarchy.
I have posted a few videos of myself with knives and no one has suggested it means I should be locked up. I mean there are some who would like to have me locked up, but they wouldn't dare try.
I had some really weird audio issues this week, sorry gang, hopefully will get that fixed before the next video goes up!
no worries, the automated subtitles helped and u honestly speak rather clear to understand
I started sobbing when you said "this is only a week in misogyny not a year" because I just can't do this anymore... we're so used to waking up to these kinds of news that it's not even shocking anymore, it's just expected. I seriously don't know how to go on
it's so demoralising. sending you so much love 💜💜💜💜
to be quite honest, I cried too at that part, you're not alone ❤🩹
Get real❤❤❤❤❤
I feel this 😭💯🫂
Gosh, I wish we lived in a society like the ones Peggy Reeves Sanday talks about in her "gr@pe free societies" works
As a black autistic man I have experienced news articles that were negative towards black men and autistic men. But the misogyny that I saw on the news and social media this week, hell this year has been disgusting to me. It really made me look at myself and look at the way I interact with anyone. Even though I identify as a feminist I know that there's some things that I need to work on. I'm not always going to be perfect but I am willing to learn and I'm going to support women and fems in my life.
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I de-gendered my twitter profile and the abuse just … stopped. It was properly shocking.
that's genuinely a bit scary, like. wow.
I changed my Facebook name from Samantha to Sam and it was so freeing.
Yeah, this tracks. From actual scientific research (female-coded names, as well as "foreign sounding" names got fewer responses to questions for information, to job applications, to questions about cooperation in the academic field etc), to anecdotal twitter threads about a guy accidentally using his female colleagues email and suddenly understanding why it takes her so much longer to finish tasks for clients, because, turns out, she has to convince them that her ideas work, even if those ideas are not even hers but industry standard. He switched with her for a week I think, and he was exhausted. She had the most restful and productive week of her life.
It is exhausting.
i have no pics of myself on my ig and guess what 0 pp pics in my dms ,i got accused of being a catfish guy ,and someone i meet on a dating app found my ig and called me a red flag cuz i dont have pics of myself/naked pics on my ig
cuz''all women are are sx objects who demand attention from men ''
if i had a dollar when i used vc in a video game from the year 2021-now i got male moaning ,deaththreats or demands i send them nudes
id be rich
i dont do social stuff on video games cuz of that ..2018-2020 i did vc and there were a lot women and non sexist ,men and made friends
so yea....
they treat us as objects ,entitled to us ,are violent and r us
but call US THE PROBLEM AND BALME US FOR THEIR BEHAVIOUR
WHILE SAYING MEN ARE DOMINANT AND ALPHA WHILE WOMEN DUMB|????
I'm transmasc and so have experienced both edges of the sword. I've been assaulted, catcalled, demeaned, pursued by old men as a minor. And now that I've begun transitioning I've noticed some women are afraid/uncomfortable when I try to do 'normal' things I would have done before as a "woman" like compliment their outfit (which is a valid reaction, given well, everything).
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As a transfem it is very interesting and also sad to see both sides. Back in the day boys also assaulted and catcalled me but for homophobic reasons and now im also feeling the same but for other new reasons and the added bonus of not being taken as seriously as i was before. Honestly gender seems so restrictive at times and also just very silly. It asks of everyone to perform or censor themselves because of the hierarchy, making everyone more miserable specially those who step out of bounds.
as a trans man, (i am very fortunate as i have been able to completely pass for about 2 years now), the fact that misoginy exists is so obvious i get really annoyed when i hear cis men saying it does not. the fact that ever since i started passing i can exist now without being questioned by other men, that my thoughts can be heard, that i can exist as a person without being viewed as an object is so freeing (obviously i still live in fear of cis men because of my many bad experiences when i was still presenting as a woman). that feeling of freedom should be something everyone experiences and its just so frustrating knowing that so many femme-presenting people have to deal with that on an everyday basis.
(english is my second language so sorry for any mistakes)
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The fact that men think it's an insult to a woman to say that they wouldn't sleep with her is mindblowing. Your little guy isn't the center of the world my dude! The fact that any woman will be deprived of ever getting to see it isn't anything to write home about. She will survive not having to feel your little friend inside her, I guarantee it!
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It's sad that the term "freedom of speech" is thrown around so lightly nowadays, people think they can say the most horrific things and just throw that card, and face no consequence. People no longer know what an actual opinion is, and what harmful ideologies are. It's just sad, and repugnant.
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I blame Xitter
I'm not really that shocked that some men use freedom of speech as a get out of jail free card there probably the same a holes who misuse the word boundary to get there way
This is debatable. Freedom of speech is meant to go both ways. Throttling this freedom usually ends up backfiring. Inserting a wide ranged law is always worse than going after specific people and their specific horrible ideas. Other side started using the same rhetoric to paint left ideologies as extreme as a backlash.
It is also harmful in other ways. Look at all ideologies as a piece of paper. If you cut off the margins all the time all you can talk about in the end is the weather and even that will be controversial enough to be banned. There needs to be a place for factual discussion. Not researching some theories in an academic environment because you are afraid of possible results and could be canceled because of it is more terrifying to me than some marginal incel with a mic.
When I was in middle school, I was bullied continuously by a group of boys. It happened pretty much everyday, the teachers didn’t care even when it was happening in front of them. I don’t know the exact reason for their indifference but I think misogyny had a lot to do with that since they had the mindset ‘boys will be boys’. Actually this video opened my eyes to how big of a problem misogyny is these days and how it’s tied to my bad experiences in the past.
I'm so sorry that happened to you 💜💜
Trans guy here. Came out after living 45 years presenting as a woman. I understand misogyny far better now; can't see the forest for the trees idea. It sounds like a little thing but walking out the door and not thinking about how I look is a huge weight gone.
And it wasn't about really specific things like looking attractive enough, or modest enough, or put together enough (although those things were there.) It's knowing that I'm not going to get _looked_ at constantly as a dude. Women are scrutinized and judged incessantly. By men and women. As a white, middle aged, middle class guy I'm invisible in a way I didn't know existed. And it is so relieving.
Sadly I don't have any answers but part of my responsibility as a trans man (in my own mind) is to validate the experiences of women. Women are far too often told that it's in their heads, or their responsibility or other BS. It's not. It's real and it's harmful, from the big obvious things like assault down to the daily public inspection. Stay strong sisters and stay angry.
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First off, I’m sorry your father had such a negative and ignorant reaction to you just wearing makeup. That is my worst fear and insecurity when expressing myself through my appearance. I feel a sense of guilt sometimes when I wear cute clothes or makeup or smile at a compliment about my appearance because I am worried about how much of it is self-confidence or a desire to fit in the standards of the male gaze. I’m afraid of people using it as an excuse to call me an “attention seeker” or treat me like an object. It’s beautiful that you are so confident in expressing yourself. You deserved more respect.
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Most of all, I'm tired of men who think they are not part of the problem just because they don't commit actual physical violence against women. As if that makes them somehow "not one of those guys" And then these same men get drunk during a date and suddenly become hyper grabby with their girlfriend thinking this is ok bc it's seduction & romance, despite her repetedly saying "please don't touch my body like that in public" as if just bc this is a date and they are in seduction mode it gives them the right to act that way. (yes, this is a personal annecdote from barely 48h ago... 😣)
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Oh my gosh I am so sorry dear, I really hope you are alright...
@@seashellgarden2227 thank you so much! Yes, I took the weekend to think on it and I sent him a message to end things, listing all that he did the other night in a calm manner. He said was sorry, that he understood and won't contact me again -- so at least this got a "nice" resolution!
I wished it would end in a similar way for all women ❤🩹
But what about men who say this but don’t do those things you say
so much misogyny :(
it’s something i’ve been scared of facing once i start actually passing as a woman lol, thanks for bringing these topics up!
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I cannot express how validating 15:43 was. The andrew tate segment, pre-incarceration, I was rightfully pissed when talking about this with male friends who saw him as a non-threat or at worst "disagreeable", so the fact that post-incarceration are producing these numbers and teachers all over keep saying how scary this behaviour is within men....I truly feel like im not hysterical. I was right back then and im right now. Im tired. Im on all levels tired of people not prioritizing protecting women from misogyny or seeing the urgency in this. It feels hopeless on top of everything else currently going on. Covid, BLM, the massive queerphobia, especially transphobia...like can I have 1 part of my identity thats able to breathe. Holy fuck.
The entire "im tired" section made me cry, like...wow if there's any hopepunk to be found in this, is that im not alone and its not wrong to feel with way. Thank you for speaking up about this, its so comforting to hear my exact sentiments being broadcasted on this platform. Especially when this type of convo, tends to attract the very bitter and hateful (terfs) or the very dismissive and other wise hateful (misogynistic men), like I was searching for months for a voice of reason, someone to just express the grief without trying to pull me into the void of hate and bigotry. I wanna express grief without being silenced and diminished by male feelings, I wanna express grief without being recruited into the terf cult.
You have brought me a lot of solace in 25 minutes, after months of grieving in silence and feeling alone. Thank you
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love youuuu 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Every single point raised in this video is so true and I hate it but I love that you bring them up.
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Meanwhile I have kids in my class (some were young women) talking about how hard it is to be a straight white man because they can’t apply for some scholarships for being straight white men and that feminism isn’t great always actually. I know that I’m from a bigger city and I have a degree that involved more research for less important topics then they would’ve done on anything in their lives, they’re also younger than me and likely haven’t been groped in broad daylight like I have. They’re young, they’re growing but good god it’s hard to talk to them sometimes because they don’t understand how bad it really is.
oof, that must be so frustrating I'm sorry you're dealing with that 💜
@@talistheintrovert Thank you, it also just makes me sad because otherwise they’re lovely people. The straight white guy who made the scholarship comments, we had a lovely conversation the day before about The Legend of Vox Machina. They’re good people, they just have bad opinions and won’t listen to me because I’m in the minority of these conversations.
@@amethystimagination3332 I think that’s the problem right there. Society, parents, caretakers, educators whatever you call it they don’t even teach young boys that it makes them bad people to behave misogynistic on its own. I experienced similar situations and often found myself thinking if only they knew if they only saw the truth they would be such great people however that was just not the case and I had to come to understand that you can’t be otherwise good in this scenario. I’m just tired of having to prove things to people about feminism related topics it’s just too much.
They’re missing the point that education should at the very least be affordable for everyone
THE WAY MY JAW SLAMMED INTO THE FLOOR AT THE LAWRENCE FOX INTERVIEW. BILLIE PIPER HAD A LUCKY ESCAPE BISH OMLORD
TRULY HORRIFYING
Also there really is something in the horror that is your body not belonging to yourself. I still vividly remember how after puberty kicked in I started to be treated extremely differently. It's horrible. I was only 12, but that didn't matter. My body was no longer mine, it was for others to consume.
Weirdly reminds me of Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" music video
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Shit from young it was your virginity is important for your future husband. You are not yours but the lords. Your body is lords temple. Your life is not your but the lords. It was annoying af
This needs to be seen by everyones parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and whatever enby siblings of parents are called and siblings and friends.
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I've heard pibling for parent's sibling, as well as nibling, the children of your sibling (from niece/nephew and sibling).
Fatphobia gets me so angry now, before it let me sad and before that scared for my safety (since I was a child and had people make decisions about my life bc of it), now that I'm a adult it should be my own business right? It's my health and I should be the one that know best how and if I want to handle it, but NO, relatives that live in another city and never cared before or even came for birthdays and etc feel entitled to lecture me about how unhealthy I am bc of course I must be unhealthy, they just know it by just looking at me. Goddammit, I hate all this.
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This.
I visited my sister recently, who mentioned that our mother had commented on her daughter, who is 3 btw and actually too small for her age, because she had a little belly. Even if the girl was a chubby little toddler, who fncking cares, but she isn't chubby, if anything she's still pretty thin and small, and my sister has a lot of worries about her child because she had issues with her organs from birth, she was always ill, barely ate, and also has allergies.
This kid barely grew as a baby, a period where she should have doubled in size. And our mother saw fit to comment on her belly after she (finally) ate an entire plate's worth of food. Not only that, our mother compared this toddler to her little sister, who is 2,5 years younger and almost the same weight by now, and talked about how a literal baby was too big. A chubby little baby and a thin toddler. And how very dare they have bellies and soft little baby hands. My sister was enraged. She has done a lot to make sure her kids feel loved and know they are beautiful, (and also trying to not make them feel as if beauty is as important as society is making them think it is) and a literal toddler was so worried about her belly she asked about it several times after one visit from her grandmother.
It was never more clear to me where my issues with weight and food come from. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I had flashbacks.
@@AnnekeOosterink damn, that is awful and shows how early it starts, Im glad your sister is doing her best to fight it. I'd love to have had a mother like that
As someone with a "thank god she's got a personality" face, I am WITH you.
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i'm really glad I found your channel. You're so well spoken and you explain your points so well, this stuff is so infuriating
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Thankyou for putting into words the fear I've been feeling for *so* long. I have so much mental shit around men treating me like an object of desire, I genuinely prepare myself for new male friends to disappoint me.
I *love* the good and kind men in my life that can separate my sex from my worth but they are few and far between and I am so tired of having to double check every new friendship, every interaction, every potential misinterpretation of my words. I'm just...tired.
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I have to thank you for this, even if I feel more than a little nauseous.
What makes me angriest is that I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know where to start. How do you fix something that's so casually accepted like this?
And like, I've been INCREDIBLY lucky. I've never had anything really bad happen to me, and I still need to look behind me sometimes when I'm just walking to the store, because sometimes there are guys in cars who will follow teenage girls who are just trying to live their life. And that should not be considered normal. I should not feel lucky that that's the worst I've been exposed to.
These are the kinds of things that make me hate humanity.
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My wife as a Teacher &nd a larger woman gets harassed way more than I do. By even her highschool students. ShT is gotten way out of control. Its only going to get worse 2. I stay out of the public as much as possible. Its not safe at all. Its bad.
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This Week in Misogyny could easily be a regular segment on a news show; and it would probably be spun as a positive on certain platforms.
It is indeed a never-ending story, with less luck dragons and more rolling voids of nothingness.
Depressing topic, top notch video though, as per.
oof, you're not wrong 🙃
This was so heavy to watch, but so incredibly necessary.
thank you angel 💜💜
10:45-11:22 this part.. i have to share a little something
in my early teens i tried to learn how to wear makeup, as a teen girl does. and every single time i tried my family, my sister, would look at me in disgust and say things like "who are you wearing that for" and "who are you trying to impress at school" and that i was 'too young to be getting slutty' (i was TWELVE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS). I just wanted to learn makeup and look nice. I would have been 12-14 when she was saying these things and i'm 25 now. I haven't worn makeup in over 10 YEARS, because i don't know how, i never got the chance to learn, because i was SHAMED into not learning and being told that wearing it meant that i was asking for attention and doing it for other people. my SISTER was the one spewing this misogynistic rhetoric at teenage me and surely if my sister was saying it to my face then everyone else felt the same, right? so i've been incredibly self conscious in my appearance for over a decade, i look tired all the time, i never look nice next to others in makeup and always feel 'underdressed' at events where its expected a woman would wear makeup, especially that i'm not even close to being conventionally attractive enough to pull off not wearing it. if i try wearing makeup now i'm still afraid of how i'll be perceived, the comments i'll get - e.g. 'i'm only doing it bc i've never been pretty enough for a relationship and makeup will fix that' etc, or that i will be harassed by men even more when i start wearing it. i still feel that shame and fear and it stops me every time. this is just a drop in the ocean of misogyny and by far not the worst thing that has happened but those seemingly inconsequential words had, and still does have, such a profound impact on my self image and self worth. so yeah fuck anyone that judges women and young teens about wearing makeup and insisting that its for anyone other than ourselves.
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Small note, the girl that died wasn't the one who said no. She intervened to protect her friend who rejected her ex boyfriend. Its still awful and horrific and relevent yo the conversation
either way it's horrific, you're right!
that bit about makeup at the end really hit home for me as a nonbinary afab person. i love makeup, doing it brings me so much joy, but it is always bright and colorful and bold and glittery because it’s a way for me to express myself. it’s not to make me look “more appealing”, it’s for me to preform my gender in a way that makes me feel confident. and every time i hear cis women talk about how they wear makeup and why stopping wearing makeup made them feel liberated, my heart aches a little. because it is so terrible to me that a fun art form like makeup can be so stripped of the fun because of patriarchy and misogyny to the point that so many women can’t enjoy it anymore.
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Honestly, I was introduced to your channel with Psych, I truly appreciate how hard you look into this video and really bring a lot of insight, and it's eye-opening how much I've learned with this video!
I've watched a few videos on similar topics, and just thank you for talking about these. I just hope that people really watch these! Thank you so much!
thank you!! 💜
Thank you, thank you 💜
I kept thinking i was going crazy seeing all of this and feeling alone in the horror of it all. Im really grateful for the efforts you took to make this it was incredibly validating that my concerns are legitimate and even the joke at the end gave me a good chuckle and wow did I need that! Sending peace and love to all 💖💜
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This might be one of the most accurate descriptions of how I (and probably many others) have felt over the past years, and that is so depressing to think about. These people are making it really hard to feel any shred of hope for a better future. In fact, I'm actively scared of thinking about the future, bc I don't know how long I'll be able to take living in a world like this- let alone worse. But at least I now know I'm not alone in having these feelings, and that does bring me (and again, I think many others also) some comfort. Thank you for sharing this💜
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Slightly off topic but as an asexual person this "you only put makeup on for other people" mindset has held me back from so many things in life because I didn’t want people to think I’m trying to be sexy or attract others. Comments like your father’s were also made towards me when I for once as a teenager came out of my shell and tried on some makeup. It’s a big reason (not the only one though) why I only developed enough courage to wear something on the revealing side a few years ago, why I never until now got into dancing even though I really wanted to, why I’m only now comfortable experimenting with makeup. Luckily I’m letting go of what others might think I’m trying to achieve and am generally more free in my decisions but I would just like if people could not project their horniness onto me and stop being like "oh where are you off to what’s the occasion winkwink" whenever I’m slightly dressed up.
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Talis, I honestly don't remember how I found your channel, but I'm so glad I did. I love hearing what you have to say on things, even when it's horrible things. It makes the existential void less voidsome ❤
that's so kind, I'm so glad I can be of some help even if it's through ranting and raving 💜💜💜
how are your views not in the millions, you definitely deserve it. thank you so much for all that you're doing.
that's so kind, thank you! 🥰
ive also had to start exploring this topic in my own spaces and life, and thank you for sharing that antidote and talking about this is in a tangible, non-overwhelming way
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Pre-video comment: Coming to watch this to escape my family putting Bill Maher on, in which one of the guests is Ron DeSantis.
After video comment: The horrid events that have been discussed in the video reminds me why I actively avoid talking to anyone. Our society has built up such a mistrust between people due to patriarchal misogyny, structural racism, casual homophobia, acceptance of transphobia, etc. to where at least for me, I think it's best to limit communication with strangers as much as possible. Of course that doesn't even stop harm coming to others, it may actually increase it because some godamn idiots think a slient person is immediately a threat. Idk what to do.
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I'm sending this to my dad.
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But also people need to leave Britney alone! Hasn’t she been through enough, sheesh 🙄
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Reading all the comments and people's stories is just....sad doesn't begin to describe it. And it's tiring but we need need need to talk, we need to hold on (god i'm tired and everyone else is too).
As always, love your breakdown of the whole situation and issues etc.!
Wishing you and everyone else here hope and strength and maybe a tiny vacation from this bs (that would be the dream wouldn't it)
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Every time I've tried to bring up that the Southport attack was misogynistic people are so hasty to wait for "more information".
It's a Taylor Swift dance party full of little girls. How is that not about women?
I've been feeling like it's getting worse lately. Was very validating to hear you say at the end that in the last 18 months we have lost so much progress. Do you know why this has happened? What is going on?
Ive personally and from other women heard so many stories lately about harassment. Someone close to me rejected a man's offer to buy her a coffee and he called her a disrespectful slut. This was at 8am in the city where there were plenty of other people. Wtf is going on?
It absolutely has, and not just for women. Hate crimes of all sorts have been going up steadily since 2015, but the vitriol towards women specifically has taken a nasty uptick in particular lately.
The conservative movement in the west has been moving more and more reactionary. That being a stay at home mom isn't just a nice idea if you're up for that and your family can actually afford it, but a fucking political movement as "Trad wives" is just the tip of a very frightening iceberg.
it's the proliferation of reactionary conservative ideas, because the internet has made them so mainstream since covid when people's contact with the outside world was through the Internet. its so scary
@talistheintrovert that makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I was wondering if it had to do with what is spreading on the internet. The stats you mentioned in your vid about Andrew Tate supporters are super concerning
on the note of misogyny, here in Iran, a teenage girl was murdered and her body was thrown in a dam lake by her own father bc she "came home late" :))))
that's so horrendous, I'm so sorry that's happening around you 💜💜💜
fuck... all of these back to back really made me go into another existential crisis.
TRULY.
Great video. It's great that someone holding up a light to the root problem of misogyny... It really is insane what is going on
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Bump for the algorithm
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I'm a trans man who started passing and the worst part is when women no longer feel safe around me. I don't know how cis men don't notice it or don't care to change it
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This year I was indirectly impacted by the murder of a young woman. This particular young woman was murdered in cold blood with 50 stab wounds by a former boyfriend because how dare she evolve and grew as a person, and how dare she build a good life for herself since breaking up with this monster years ago. The average man cannot comprehend how it feels as a woman to live with the possibility of being murdered by a misogynist just because they considered inside their sick mind that you AS A WOMAN should die for bruising their brittle sick ego and also for whatever else reason they consider valid. I have suffered plenty of misogyny throughout my life and I would love for men to get a dose of their medicine and especially to feel the excruciating pain of the parents that have lost their daughters because of a misogynistic murderer.
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Those Andrew Tate figures are terrifying.
I genuinely didn't think it was that bad, then I look at the statistics and I was flabbergasted and horrified
It makes me embarrassed to be a guy
I've been playing through Cyberpunk 2077 and every ad in that game is so sexual and so male gaze-oriented that it's really distressing for me to walk around Night City and trying to explain how upsetting it is to my male partner, who is most other ways is really loving and attentive, is frustrating and feels pointless because every time I try to talk about it, he says something like "oh that's just part of the dystopia" or "well that's what's distressing about Cyberpunk is how close it is to the real world as it is now" and I just don't have the language or emotional capacity to explain my point of view in a way that he'll listen to. I also want to trust men, but even the ones who are "on our side" have these blind spots where you can be screaming "OH MY GOD IT'S A METEOR ABOUT TO HIT THE EARTH" and they'll just say "I don't see it so it must not be real".
'This week in misogyny' is such a cool channel theme. Never ending content!
I LOVE how everyone forgets "freedom of speech" is legally limited as well and lies (like... Perjury or... Defamation for instance) are actually sometimes federal crimes.
That's what we should collectively rebrand hate speech as. Defamatory lies. I've been saying this for years.
Also I did *not* expect to get triggered by this video (I know. Silly me.) but my clownass got triggered by this video for a hot minute during the fatphobia part.
Had a quick cry. Carried on.
All this shit is legitimately tiring. This is why I'm ready to crutch people who say dumb shit.
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Thats an incredibly useful comparison. Thanks for sharing!
I wrote a wholeass two-paragraph comment but TH-cam seems to have auto-deleted it. 8\
I don't have the energy to write that whole thing out again, but take my engagement anyway.
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preach, girl 💜
proud of you for even having the strength to talk about this stuff, (i sure don't have that strength anymore,) and you do it with so much insight, too.
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"in spite of the patriarchiy", why did that make me tear up?!
I’ve had to have a conversation like this to another guy. Who didn’t believe the patriarchy is was a thing, either now or in the past. I went on a whole history talk about how misogyny has existed for millennia. I talked about how men and women are not a different species and if we treated each other with equity, we might have had less physical differences that cause such debate to this day. I talked about how women are at a constant fear of being harassed to the point where things we do in our daily lives are infeasible for them because of a power dynamic held in the hands of men. I even talked about the double standards and “damned if you do” situation that we can see every single day if we just tried to step into a woman’s shoes.
He ended up telling me why he was so fearful of admitting to the tragic existence of the patriarchy: he didn’t want his hard work to be invalidated on account of being a man. This narrative, I think, is being perpetuated by people calling themselves feminists whilst also supporting misogyny. The patriarchy does not mean all men are treated as kings. Of course men have to work in a patriarchal society. What it does mean is that women, no matter how much they try, will never get anything for their hard work but unwarranted and unimaginable abuse from the men, and even some women, who abuse a system built (not for the benefit of men, but) for the detriment of mothers, daughters, sisters.
And I’ve fought the notion of “men and women don’t have worse situations than each other, they’re different”. I am a trans man. I grew up as a girl with, luckily, less misogyny than most other girls. I’ve been excluded from sports and academic opportunities because I was perceived as a girl. Even with social transitioning, I have seen a difference. I am treated with respect before I even say a single word, and nobody sneers when I don’t take a naturally apologetic stance for every action I take. Yes, people are more fearful of me. Yes, women struggle to look me in the eye and see me as a person first. But I don’t get catcalled, or harassed, or pressured into relationships that I am not comfortable with. I don’t have to fight so hard for the minimal appreciation I now receive naturally in academia. I haven’t even physically transitioned. My voice is still painfully feminine. Yet, I am treated so much better than women and girls ever are and harrowingly ever will be. Men struggle, that much I can get behind. But saying it isn’t any better than what women go through just invalidates all of the girls and women who get abused every single day because they dare to simply exist.
The sad part is that there is a solution. It just starts by acknowledging the painfully obvious problem that we all face. Because at the end of the day, the suffering of half of humanity is an issue for all of humanity.
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As a trans woman I want to make a note about the argument against terfs that goes "if youre going to try to hurt trans women by scrutinising every woman you see for masculine traits, youre going to hurt cis women too".
This is true, after all we can see the whole trend of people tranvestigating any famous woman they dislike, but also its playing within the terfs game. Because it reinforces the idea the only valid pain to consider is that of cis people, that hurting trans people isnt bad because its downright fucking evil, but because cis women will be hurt as well. I know why we use the above argument, terfs dont care about our lives so you know they wont be convinced by pointing out how much pain and suffering they inflict on trans people, but at this point im not convinced they'll be convinced by the fact theyre hurting cis women either.
The only time ive seen terfs stop and reflect and even change there actions isnt to stop hurting trans people or cis women, its when theyve upset cis men that hold horribly bigoted beliefs. When terfs see that theyve upset the Joe Rogans, the Matt Walsh's, the Andrew Tates even, thats when ive seen them stop and change how theyre behaving, because hurting cis women in their pursuit against trans people is seen as collateral damage, but making the men who also hate trans people uncomfortable is unacceptable to them. Why? Because to be a terf is simply another way to work to uphold patriarchal structures, its never been about actually fighting against them, its selling point to the people that have fallen into terfism is that they get to believe thats not the case, so a big part of our activism for trans people in feminist spaces has to be not allowing them the comfortably of not having to reckon with that.
This isn't a "You shouldn't use this argument" btw, I think pointing out the hypocrisy of terfs saying theyre protecting women's spaces meanwhile actively forcing the women they claim to be trying to protect to be feminine and in line is completely valid. I just also like to add this caveat because I think its something that goes unsaid a lot and I think it's something people need to hear more often, because there's also a lot of people, myself included sometimes, that can subconsciously see the pain of trans people as less important than of cis people, probably because its so goddamn much atm that its easy to become desensitised, so I like to mention this whenever I see something that can play into that, even just to remind myself to remember that.
As a woman ..... I stand with my trans sisters - wtf is going on with TERFs? so depressing. Great video - subbed.
Talis litterally never misses 👌🤌
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Preach on, Sister! Thank you for speaking so much truth!
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👏👏👏👏👏 Love this video pushing back against the misogyny
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Last night a guy tried to quit violently to grab my hand on the dance floor even when I repeatedly moved my arms over my head with the idea he would "get the hint" but no he did not and I was and still am mad about it
I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope he steps on lego
THIS OUTFIT IS A HUMUNGOUS SLAY
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What's funny is I've literally danced with real knives in my flat (and no professional training).
Yes I'm aware it was dangerous, but I claim the rest of the world do more dangerous things everyday like driving. And don't get me started on teenagers popping wheelies on bikes in the street.
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loving your energy about this topic
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I'm so tired... I love being who I am, but I hate that just having a feminine name on overwatch for example makes me a target for hate. I can play well, I can play badly, I can respond or not, but I'll always get sexist insults just because. And the worst part is I have it GOOD since apart from this I currently go through life without meeting a lot of potentially abusive men. I can just pay 10 bucks to change my name on that game and it will stop... unfortunately this can't be done for all the other hundreds of cases of misogyny a lot of women, nb and more feminine presenting folx have to put up with. I hate this so much
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I think these situations speak to the myth of the "innocent bystander." If you witness something, and say nothing, while in theory you are still innocent, but you're certainly not helping anyone, and thus guilty by association. The adults, coworkers, parents, and others should be more aware of these things and how important it is for especially young men, to know how all these bad behaviours and rude comments all add up to a lot of issues when it comes to safety, and making sure people feel comfortable around you. I feel like someone needs to go into a room of teenage boys and say, "you'll never get a girl if you're making them all scared of you!"
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Realizing I could opt into "performing femininity" when it appealed to me to do so, in just the specific ways that appealed to me, was a game changer.
I wasted a lot of time trying to ensure I was never mistaken for being "like other girls". And that, is such ridiculous patriarchal bullshit...
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I feel like we are living in 1930s Nazi Germany right now. I check the news on Microsoft Start News every day and there is usually some article about disabled people and benefits and the comments there make me shiver. The comments are just so cold and uncaring.
it's so scary
If it helps, the comments on news pages are like the most bottom-of-the-pit comment sections on the internet, made by old people, that, don't have too much time on this planet. Their judgment is exhausting, but, to me at least, the thought of only being left with shitty news outlet comments during your last years is more horrifying than the scrutiny faced frequently as a queer woman. When I think about it like that, it's less scary and more sad; and I'd honestly rather deal with sad than scary.
I knew it was bad but I had no idea how bad it actually was. I cannot understand how anyone could still hold Andrew Tate in a positive light, and the 15 year old girl that was murdered for turning someone down is horrifying, that's the age my niece is at.
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I've seen a post somewhere, where someone pointed out that according to the logic of some people, Russian Roulette must be a completely save game, because #NotAllChambers
omg 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Violence is about power. Always.
Being a trans man is an absolute trip sometimes, because we’ve typically experienced all of these things firsthand, but once we start to pass (if we do) we’re now on the other side, listening to how men talk about women when they’re not there. I work in a very male dominated field and I 100% have had to school some men because of how they were talking about women. I have been, and always will be an advocate for women, and now I’m in a very privileged place (so long as I pass which is most of the time) and I get to speak to these men on their level. I’m honestly very happy that I get to be that voice because I think a lot of men who have these views and say these things, are a lot more likely to listen to another man (as fucked up as that is) than they are a woman. So I know a lot of us trans men are out there, doing our part in the hopes that some men listen. And if they won’t, then we’ll at least be able to talk to future generations who will.
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4:58 yep truer words have never been said. Even as an afab lesbian, I’ll still use that lie if I think a guy around me would endanger my life.
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I'm only just watching the first clip rn
FIRST OF ALL women do NOT need male validation, second of all, he's greasy and incompetent so there is no way she'd want to sleep with *him* (but he wouldn't even be able to consider that, would he?), third of all, what she's saying is meant to be merited for her words and not her sex appeal. She's talking for awareness...not to get laid by a guy who probably needs it more than she does (he seems like the incel men he's trying to separate himself from).
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thank you for this video, i love you so much
it's SO horrifying it truly truly scares me 😬
also I love you ❤️
I FEEL SO QUEASY (thanks for this wonderful video)
Every time I here things like this it makes me really upset and scared and the fact we have to rally the troops every time wears me out I am so afraid to date because of this and I'm hoping one day not to be :(
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The leave me alone clip took me out 😭
are they wrong tho??
I really feel bad for Britney she doesn't deserve to be treated like this she deserves to be left alone if it was anyone else nobody would care
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Suggested topics:. Good news about people coming together to fight misogyny, capitalism, --phobia. There is some. Like raisins in a shit sandwich, I grant you, but there is some good news.
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"You only wear makeup to attract men"
Your so lucky, that your dad, told you ~a girl wearing makeup~ how makeup works. 🙃
I know right? I'm so lucky 🙃🫠
I have three men in my life.
My best friend who is trans and a non-binary man. Ive had a few instances of fear but mostly it is a safe person for me.
My boyfriend who has 🍇ed me repeatedly.
And a friend who used to have a crush on me and when i explained that my phone homescreen says "no such thing as an unloaded gun" because i need the reminder that there can be no such thing as a safe man / allocishet man. He told me i shouldnt worry about him being offended by that because he understands that hes obviously an exception.
I am so very tired
that's awful I'm sorry you're dealing with that
This was a good video. Maybe spicier than I'd prefer. Patriarchy and Gender essentialism fucking sucks. I know there are too many truly shitty men. I met some back in college.
But like as a man, I'm worried about lonely men who aren't inherently good or bad becoming shitty because of lots of social forces.
Because rising male lonliness, makes rising male shittyness more likely.
The social internet loves to make people hate eachother.
And from Terfs to Girlboss Pop feminists, there are a notable amounts of spicy or toxic brands of feminism to make men start hating women. And after a man thinks feminism is about women = good, men = bad, rather the actual literature on oppression, disenfranchisement and harassment. Shit can get bad real fast.
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That Lawrence Fox tweet 😳 is he okay? Clearly not. I hope he gets a lot of help in therapy because he obviously needs it
litcherally
15:32 That’s so interesting because as a first time viewer I was trying to figure out weather you’re a terf or not (I might have assumed the worse cuz you’re 🇬🇧 (terf island) which is wrong of me).
But you’ve got a new subscriber!
oh no I violently hate terfs, welcome to the gang!! ❤️
@@talistheintrovert same💓 especially when they use the oppression of women as a talking point.
Thanks 🙏🏽
istg I also had a lot of weird shit thrown at me this week, wtf is happening
something's in the air I stg
I know I’m late to this video, but I feel like sharing something. One In middle school I was wearing a skirt, and this boy teased me for forgetting to shave my legs. Ever since then I always fussed about being presentable, but I’m trying hard not to care as much!
Heavy sigh
I think thats all ive got.
I respect your point and totally agree with what you're saying about pretty privilege, but I struggle to spell privilege right on first go. I always put a d or an e where they shouldn't or get so self-conscious that I go overboard on I's. It's a needlessly complicated word that makes me self-conscious (especially as an English major) and wonder if there's some deeper symbolism to this flaw. If nothing else, it makes me more self-aware of trying not to be rude to others.
Other than that, good work as usual.
sure!
I've been carrying a knife every where I go since I was a teenager because if any man is going to try me he will get a scar out of it
11:55 oh my god thank you so much for this article. I have been feeling this way about the whole pretty = harassment stuff my whole life.
(for context, I used to be average-looking to unattractive, nowadays I am considered attractive) when I was younger, I remember talking to some of those at my lunch table, and one girl doubted I would ever be sexually harassed, probably due to my appearance. (I'm not blind)
whenever I see women acting similarly, it feels like such a slimy and invalidating thing. Even though I was "mid", I was catcalled at 12, I saw statistics surrounding disabled people getting more sexually harassed, (even though, if their disability is visible, they might not fit the standards) I saw statistics around minorities being harassed, even though it's typically harder for them to appease beauty standards. And even though I am more conventionally attractive, I still feel the same way I did when I was average..? Maybe this is just me, but I almost feel more confident?
It. Was. Never. About how attractive someone is. It was all about what the creeps thought they could get away with, with possibly a weird power dynamic. Like you said, power.
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I will say, sometimes women not reaching out can be a result of trauma or dissociation rather than a lack of trust for the men around. I once was harassed by someone I'd legitimately trusted as a friend, and I think if I'd just considered it a an offense against me I wouldn't have said anything, but because I thought he was engaged (long tangent, that probably wasn't actually true but it was what I believed at the time) I went to a different friend and ranted about how he couldn't just treat HER like that. It wasn't until he (second friend) asked if I was ok that I realized that I wasn't. It was just easier to be angry for someone else than for myself.
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You always word my own thoughts so nicely for me, fucking love you boo xx
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So I've done a lot of different jobs I my life and I too have some tales. 1 was when I was in a certain well known chemist. I was a team manager. I had one member of staff who was a student from an even more Conservative country than the UK. This bloke had the gall to inform me he was supposedly doing a study for his degree based on why women wish to educate themselves and take managerial jobs from men!! I made a complaint to the store manager (who was ALSO problematic) and the lad under me was only fired when he sx@lly assaulted one of my team members outside the store!..
The other was when I first started in law. We'd taken on a temp to do holiday cover. He felt it was beneath him to do virtually anything, despite our female office manager (also a fully qualified solicitor) telling him that he needs to muck in as we don't do dictation and we all do our own scanning. Before he left, he proceeded to tell the same female manager, who had already set up 2 successful offices prior, that women in law don't make any money. He wasn't kept on, given the firm was mostly female staff and he was terrible at his job anyway. 😂😂
that's all so awful, I'm sorry you had to deal with that!! 💜💜
your last point about natural makeup looks being the trendy thing now really hit home… i see girls constantly poking fun at how they did their makeup in 2016 (carved out brows, colorful bright eyeshadow, glitter, etc) and how they’re so glad they switched to natural makeup because it “looks so much better” and it always rubbed me the wrong way even though i couldn’t figure out why. obviously there’s nothing wrong with natural makeup and for some folks it’s about embracing your natural features, but the fact that most “natural makeup” inspo photos are usually of thin, conventionally attractive fair-skinned women convinces me that it’s also completely rooted in patriarchy.
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I have posted a few videos of myself with knives and no one has suggested it means I should be locked up. I mean there are some who would like to have me locked up, but they wouldn't dare try.
You’re so smart ❤
Yeah it's great being a woman I'm not completely terrified and exhausted all the time whatareyoutalkingabout (joking)
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