Japan VS Abroad: When to say "Please be my girlfriend"
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- When should a boy ask a girl to be official? What are the differences between abroad and Japan when asking someone out to be official? Time for an honest girl's talk episode with CathyCat and Hiroko.
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Ask Japanese is interviewing Japanese and foreigners in Japan about life in Japan, dating Japanese, travel tips, tasty foods, anime, manga and more. Through our interviews, we try to bring Japanese culture to the world! (=✧ω✧=)
If you plan to travel or live in Japan, we feature many topics about life in Japan and where to travel to. We ask Japanese girls, boys and elders to give you a glimpse at what Japan is really like. Our reporter and TH-camr Cathy Cat interviews people in Japanese, English and sometimes German!
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Thanks for having meee!
It's always fun talking to Cathy Cat and Masato san aka director!
I could learn a lot new stuff from you♪
Beautiful lady
You are definately the kind of person with whom I'd like to have a drink some time!
I imagine our laughter would sway together like two dolphins in warm, shallow water on a moonlit night. What a pair you make with Cathy :)
I was exactly in your position last year. When I seeing this Japanese lady for 5 months, we would go out together (not in group) watch movies, musicals, dinner, cook for each other etc, even met her closest friend and her friends husband. and for such long time I was confused who I’m in this relationship. The day I confessed my feeling face to face during dinner...she had no reaction and stopped talking to me on LINE after that...which made me baffled and confused..why ? Why? At least I deserve an answer
@@to_ni8 She already thought you two were official and assumed you somehow didn't formally confess your love for her because of the language barrier. But when you did confess later, she took that as a "I wanna be more than f**buddies now" and regretted being commited enough to introduce you to her friends.
You're the best interviewer ever!!!
Japanese girls think: "Western people are so open. They kiss before they even become girlfriend and boyfriend...!"
Western people think: "Japnese girls are so open. They can be your girlfriend even before you even kiss them...!"
When you're so fluent in languages that you don't realize what language you're speaking XD lol that is awesome.
Japan-Lish...😊
Happens to most of the planet, except in the U.S. unless you are a New Yorker.
Hahaha its much more complicated knowing 3-4 languages🤣🤣 I'm currently in Japan and studying Nihongo(Japanese language)..
One day I went to a clinic to have a check, I ask one of the staff if they can understand english because I'm not good in nihongo yet..
And staff said yes.
So I started to say what I need to say in english and then I found myself trying to speak nihongo🤣🤣🤣 hahahaha
It's a common thing in Europe, being able to speak 2-3 languages, not including your native language is nothing special.
@@pragueexpat5106 except the UK, where the attitude is "everyone speaks English, so why bother learning another language?" One of the many things I dislike about my country. I want to go to Japan for an extended vacation, but before I can I in tend to learn at least enough to be able to have simple conversations and ask the necessary questions when out and about. Hopefully I'll learn even more once I get started in Nihon. I've always considered it extremely arrogant and rude to not bother trying to learn just the simple necessary basics of a language if you intend on visiting their country.
to be honest i prefer this new format than talking in the streets with strangers, most just give generic answers or tatemae based answers. but with hiroko, we can talk much more freely and ask more provocative questions.
I actually agree, plus there's other channels doing the same street style interviews that get redundant with the same questions and like you said usually answered with generic or tatemae answers.
本音 > 建前
Had a Japanese girlfriend and we talked about this. Swedish relationships are almost backwards from Japanese ones.
Japanese
* confess
* date
* become a couple
* kiss
* have sex
* marry within 1-2 years
* officially move in with each other
* have kids
Swedish
* kiss, date have sex in no particular order
* define relationship when you want to
* move in with each other for a couple of years to see if it will work long term.
* have kids or marry in no particular order. Some couples never marry, it not such a big deal. We have a secular way of becoming a couple in the eyes of the state.
Swedish relationships are more fluid and take a longer time to actually be very sure that this person is who you really want to start a family with.
Just shows how open the Scandinavians (or just most Westerners in general) are. The Japanese seem too strict with defining boundaries, as observations of their culture would imply.
Same in Finland as would guess. For example my big brother had 2 kids with his current wife about 5 years before they got married. They had already had 2 own houses before marrying.
"and how do we keep our balance? that i can tell you in one word. TRADITION!!"
---Fiddler on the roof
😂😂😂
Sounds to me like the Swedes have commitment issues. There is nothing wrong with being honest and upfront with how you feel.
Boy: **Too shy to confess**
Girl: "FINE, I'LL DO IT MYSELF" 🙄
😂
Doing it yourself works best with a Hitachi Magic Wand. More satisfying, but less cuddly. Magic Wand will also not impress mom or give her grandkids.
Hiroko, feel free to swear all you want. I love your openness and expression. Swearing conveys an emotional feeling and that’s exactly what I want from your discussions. You have lots of class and this American would be very happy to call you my friend. You too Cathy Class! 🤗
In America, it’s usually the man who asks. So first you start out as friends and hang out and stuff. Then sometime someone says “hey, I like you” or something like that. Then the other person is like “yeah, I like you too.” It’s a bit awkward at first but as you start dating it becomes less awkward because you trust that person more.
For my opinion, the important thing is "not to be fast straight forward to your goal".
What I meant is, don't rush things out. Take your time between your relationships, don't focus on your goal on "I want to be a friend of her or him, so that I could be his or her boyfriend and girlfriend".
I've always experience it wrong, because I always think about that when starting to be friends with another person. When taking your time with your relationships, always seek if it is the right time to confess what you feel about her. But really, love is ridiculous in relationships, it is important to maintain a healthy relationship.
Ok got it!
Enjoy the journey. When two people are creating a relationship, that relationship will go where it wants to go. Force it and it will fight back and go badly. Let the relationship take you where it will. Enjoy the trip. Don't focus on a pre-planned destination. You will either get a great friend out of the relationship, or someone to spend your life with who IS a great friend and much much more. Good luck.
Hiroko-san, loved you since I watched that interview with the single mom on Asian Boss. I can see you have empathy and don't shy away from discussing feelings. I enjoyed this video. Thank you.
I see clear "tiers" of escalation in a relationship. Acquaintances, Friendship, Dating, Monogamous Dating, etc. Life evolves and is stronger for it. Relationships should follow suit. (Though, sometimes you just wake up and find out one has suddenly sneaked up on you. I've had that happen as well.)
If at all possible, a relationship should be intentional. They don't involve just yourself alone. The other person deserves to know where they stand with you as much as you with them. I have been told that I am old-fashioned because I like to have that clear "line in the sand". I will ask a lady on a "date" using that word so my intent is clear. If it comes to it I will also tell her that I am interested in a monogamous relationship, with her, and would like to ask her for the honor of being her man.
If you are going to fight, fight to win. Accept when you've been defeated and learn from the experience.
A tiger won't "kind of", "sort of" go after the deer hoping it goes along with getting caught. Then be surprised to wake up and find it gone. At the same time, once the deer has gotten away, the tiger accepts it and will conserve its efforts for the next one. If you are going to pursue someone, do it with intent and be able to recognize when your prey as escaped you. (No means no.)
For the love of the Heavens, don't start a relationship you don't want to see through to the very end. People are not toys to be discarded once you are bored.
Well said!
Good point
Cathy and Hiroko are so cute together. Love these videos.
"Oh,wait,wait!We are talking in English!"Again🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I like when women are forward but just don't put me on the spot in front of work colleagues please, because then I'll just think you're pulling my leg.
Or backing you into a corner. Either you feel pressured to say yes and might regret it later, or you look like an ass in front of your work colleagues/friends. It’s a pretty crappy move for anyone to pull on someone they like, although if they felt strung along, I can’t totally blame them either.
I love this double content! Please keep doing collabs!
In my country it's called "MU" mutual understanding..when things gets sour.. it's called "missed-understanding"..
Hahaha yeah right 😂🤣
😂 shit thats cold
I never had to ask anyone to be my girlfriend so this concept of kokuhaku is strange but somehow really cute and charming! Here, usually you just go to a nice place, set up a mood and kiss her. That's it. I guess at some point especially during early teens people used to confess because they'd shy away from kissing, but i feel like in today's society, after internet fed their heads with 'content' such things don't exist anymore.
A good way is to ask intellectually "how do you see the future between us? What is your life plan?". That is a valid question. No more read the room. Try to make the other person comfortable so the answer is sincere.
"What is your biggest fear when we date?" will be quite a topic. Not to get an answer but to talk aincerely. And whatever happens do not make the other person feel bad because it is everyone's right to have life plans and you may help to reduce fears in whatever relationship status you are. Life plan is so important that it coyld lead to a friendly divorce. For example, one wants to live in the comfort of the city and another cannot live without nature.
I love how invested Cathy is in Hiroku's story at about the 10:30 mark!
So many head games. Makes me glad I've been married for 25 years...
It can't be helped...
When I was younger like in elementary to high school, confession was mandatory if you want to become an item.
However, the dating scene has westernised recently, so people can be in a relationship without making any proper confession but it’s still pretty clear that they are a couple.
Yea, since most ppl are scaredy cat. I don't take scaredy cats seriously
General love advice XD I will say I've had 2 official gfs and 2 kinda gfs (long stories @-@). To this day, if you asked me "how do you get a gf?" I would say, "how the hell should I know?" Cause I legitimately cannot tell you how it happened once, let alone twice! It just kinda happened. Granted both crashed and burned and ended in ways that weren't good for my mental health (effectively either they cheated or lied to me consistently and left me for someone else). The major longterm downsides have been that I am trying to overcome trust and confidence issues, but I do know I want to eventually have a family with someone I can openly trust, know will never hide anything from me (except surprises), is completely honest with me, loyal and willing to work things out if things seem to be wrong, and that I love them. It has always been my belief that real love is when you stick by your partners side, even long after the spark has faded. That is all a spark is, an event of massive energy and emotion that flashes brilliantly and for a short time, but ignites a flame that isn't as blinding, may at times roar like a forest fire and other times flicker like a candle. Love is that flame, and if your love is real, you will never abandon it, but rather tend to it, even when it feels it may go out. For even if you cannot see the flame, there is always some energy left to reignite the wick, if you are willing to give it a chance.
I've yet to find someone like that, or rather someone like that who isn't already taken :/ Though I am bad at meeting people, I have no clue how to ask if someone is taken or not, and there is always that part deep inside of me that is fearing asking the question, not because I'm afraid of embarrassment (I can get over that), but rather fear of losing a friend. I have very few people I can actually call my friends, and they are all precious to me. Losing any of them would hurt a lot more than I feel I would be able to take.
Do you feel like with any of these friends you hold dearly, you can talk to them about your current situation? If yes then do so, it will really help. If no, then they probably aren't as good as you made them be.
It sounds as if you need to cry to someone about this and really get it out (in person) then improve on what you say you're bad at ("meeting people")
@@X33Ultras0und I do and have talked to a couple friends about the issue, and there have been more than a couple times where I had to just walk over to one of my friends dorms to just hangout in person and take a couple hours in the middle of the night to let it out and relax. She's also done a lot to help me with my social anxiety, but that only works so well. My body and mind actively goes in to fight or flight mode whenever I try to talk to new people in person. Overall, something I'm actively working to improve social skills and not fall back in to a depression slump every few weeks/months.
@@SDA921
Also, its best to meet new people when there is an activity going on. Like a hobby or some sport. I totally understand how out on the street you can feel anxious about talking to new people, but when there is a hobby then there is a reason, which should make it easier.
11:33. The reflection of the light on CathyCat's glasses makes her look... like a cat...!!! 🙂
Honestly I kind of get guys not wanting to marry. I've been married; we even had kids. The marriage was a struggle and we eventually divorced. I came out of it feeling like marriage was a very good way to ruin a perfectly good relationship... I've always been upfront with women about these feelings ever since.
I don't understand this. If the relationship was actually good. How is saying wife instead of girlfriend so damaging?
Maybe, it was other factors that you only decided to do because you were married and actually the marriage itself?
If you can elaborate, without saying too much personal information that would help me understand.
I dont understand the logic that sleep-together comes first before 'officially' つきあってください 🤔
Maybe thats why im still single 🤣😂
Same here, if all they want is sex and not a committed relationship, then they ought to say so or else it's manipulative, one wanting love the other just their body. (Speaking from experience, i wanted love and the dude just wanted my body and i said hell no and left when i could finally get away)
@@ShrimpieSilver 😂😂😂
@@carlgear1215 ????
@@ShrimpieSilver what i mean its funny how relationship goes
Here in the US it's the most common for the guy to ask for dates and Etc. I would say typically you should go on 3-5 dates before asking them to become a girlfriend depends on connection. But I do have to say me personally and other guys i know have said that if a girl ask them out they like the confidence it gives off so they will always accept at least one date
"ECT"?
etc.
@@impulse489 >>> Thanks. I thought maybe that was it, but I ALSO realized it might have been some form of _millennial-speak_ I was unfamiliar with...😊
in brazil we have the dates and the "ficar" stage (a.k.a test drive) after this, if the things can go without problem, the relationship is settled
"ficar stage" foi de lascar kkkkk
Vendo esse vídeo eu só percebo o quanto a maioria no Brasil não pensa tanto em sentimento, só liga pra se a pessoa beija\transa bem durante o ficar stage e se eles se suportam o suficiente sem tantos problemas pra poder beijar e transar por mais tempo. Se não fosse assim acho que não teria tanto tanto tanto corno kkkkk
@@pedroneto7583 graças a deus eu li seu comentário, obrigado pela sensatez
Teste drive kajskajakajakajkakaka
Messed up
Awesome video I really enjoyed this & so funny too lol🙌🏻😂✨🎶 So fun to learn about things in Japan!💗 Have a great day!
Cathy-san and Hiroko-san please start podcasts . I'd LOVEEE to listen to you both talk about anything and everything :3
Lovers? I have to double check the meaning of lovers in the dictionary as I started to doubt my English even though I have been living in USA for 10 years as a foreigner.
99% of the time, the term “lovers” means people having sex with each other. There’s a very small portion that consider just being intimate (hugging, kissing, holding each other, etc.) qualifies as being lovers, which isn’t far off, but most equate it with sex.
Around my teenage years, I've always been a shy guy. No confidence when it came to asking out ladies (but confident in everything else lol) and I was quite fat so that made me unattractive. Somehow, I met a lady who loved me for who I was, she told me she liked me a lot and the two of us became a couple. To me, a girl confessing her feelings for me was wonderful and admirable. It probably took a lot of guts to say, especially since we live in a society where girls are expected to just wait around for guys to confess. I loved her even more for this. During that time, I started working out and became lean (good looking, too!). Suddenly, girls started confessing to me from highschool to the end of my university days, but of course since I already had a girlfriend, I just thanked them for their feelings and told them that I was already taken. Many things have happened since then and after leaving my original home and separating with my original sweetheart in a beautiful way, I eventually found "love" a couple of years later. It was the same scenario, it was the lady who confessed to me. Unfortunately, a few years later, her personality changed and she ended up abusing me so I just left her without looking back. What's the point of a relationship when there's no more love involved? Years later, here I am, single again. Too bad I'm out of shape now and unattractive. I don't think anyone would confess to me anymore and even if I was the one to go out looking for a lady, nobody would say yes to me because there are far better choices especially in this age of online dating. Why settle for a man with a good personality, when you can find a handsome man with a good personality elsewhere, right? Lol! So now, I pretty much have accepted a life of being single. I'm still considered young, but most people my age are already married or have kids. I'm just a leftover now, expired goods lol! Anyway, one thing I learned in life is that romance is just one part of life. If you can't find it, there are still other things that can make you happy! No need to be pressured :)
A generation or a few ago, the goal used to be clear: get married young and make many babies. It was hard to survive without doing this. Now people can arrange their relationships any way they want, so figuring out what your partner wants, and what you yourself want, is the name of the game. That's why dating trends toward ambiguity because everyone is figuring things out.
Aye, it's hard to look at your life and see things you could do, or choose to settle down with someone you may not even really be all that crazy about and lump yourself with an expensive burden or two for 18+ years then have her cheat on you, get divorced and you have to give her half your paycheck.
Why would I do that when I can pursue things I want to? I have the good fortune of being a man. If I want to have kids at 40 it's less likely to be an issue for me. Especially considering where medical science will be in a decade or two. And by then I may be financially stable enough to be able to afford a good life for my potential kids. And if I am not then how can I possibly hope to be now?
This is great. Love the format. So much in depth conversations.
Two of my exes are Japanese... From the get go (in both cases) - we started as "flirty friends", went out a few times, got intimate fast, and continued dating. There was no grand confession - or no defining moment that where we decided to be a couple... we just fell into the roles naturally, and it was kind of just understood.... I guess.
What if they are just playing u
And what if they're not?
I did wonder a lot about daisuki because in shows it varies whether it is translated to english as love or like but the couples often say it when they start dating and it can be confusing, like they just started dating and already saying that? but the difference between aisteru and daisuki clears it up more
🤔 when I met for the first time my current Japanese girlfriend, it felt as if time did stop for us. And inmedietly we started hanging out and my feelings for her grew stronger. So I asked her after a month if she wanted to be my girlfriend, and ever since we are now 1 year and 8 month together 😍😍😍 and I am still madly in love with her, cannot stop smiling when I see her each time 😆😍
A month eh? How many times did you go out with her? In any case, glad to see people being happy.
@@Imperiusism in the beginning I forgot to ask her phone number, so I felt really sad... But when I saw her at my school as an exchange student I started to hang out more often during the breaks. So I saw her allmost everyday
When’s the anime?
@@Prototype9871 hehehe maybe not an anime but rather a novel 😍
David Heijs watashi no nihon no garufurendo the light novel already got the name for you a rom com
Alot of people these days cheat with texts and phone. But in my day you had to ask a girl out to her face. Though I've been married for 20 years now, and was dating for two year. I'm 39 years old now so admittedly I havent been in the game for a while so my perspective is a little outdated.
saying "please be my gf" is cringe. It should be a mutual decision, not a beg lol. Also puts girls on a pedestal, that the guy is lucky to even go on a date with her or something.
if you want a really simple thing to say, let it be, "would you like to go on a date?" that's it. Don't pressure someone with a please, or any type of begging. Be willing to be rejected.
I think the only dating advice anyone should follow is if you don't feel happy/comfortable/satisfied with the situation then talk about it.
Anything else is you sticking to someone else's ideals.
Maybe you like fucking around. Maybe you want to dive headfirst into things. Maybe you like to take it semi casually but you're essentially just focusing on the one person or whatever else.
Different strokes for different folks as they say. Just try to be aware of what's happening.
I understand a lot of the words, but not enough to not get lost. 😶 Still! I loved how lively and comfortable and open this conversation was, and would love to see more one-on-one chats with Hiroko or other friends!
Regarding the actual conversation, I don't really have an opinion. Don't worry about social expectations just whatever works for the particular couple, I guess.🤷♀️
8:08 the 'sexually aggressive woman' clipart 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It matches what is being said in Japanese which is "Carnivorous Women" (as opposed to Herbivore Men)
😂😂😂
That’s not true. People in the west play too many damn games and that’s why they do that crap. How are you too shy to ask to be official but you can sleep with that person. That makes no sense whatsoever. 😂
Exactly!!! It's bonkers, like I don't want shit unless i know they actually are committed to me and are in an official relationship already, who has time for games?
It's not really about shyness. It's more just that a lot of us don't want to commit to someone because we have our own lives. It's generally understood that things aren't serious unless you expressly say they are. It's not really a game.
@@MrSpartanspud That literally makes no sense. It just goes to show the selfishness of people from the west. Me, me, me is the talking point of every American I’ve encountered. What does commitment have to do with one’s ability to live a fulfilling life.
(when staynig with grandparents in japan): my friends hold back about their feelings to whom they like. the farthest they go is saying "hi" to who they like
(staying with parents in US): we are friendly that people mistake us as more than "just friends" there are some who make it obvious and those who tell a little bit of people and help them out
I love the Ask Japanese/Hiroko TV series ^_^ also that you always speak English & Japanese :)
HEY ITS HIROKO
HI HIROKO
OMG ITS HIROKO SHES SUCH A GREAT INTERVIEWER.
This was actually interesting to pay attention to. Seeing that I actually need to stop overthinking things since I’m not entirely fluent with 日本語。
If there was attraction and affinity it would take less than 3 months but it's good to take your time to know the other person. You never know, you could dodge a bullet by discovering something you don't like about it
Here in the U.S. it's really hard to say what's standard since it's such a mixed culture. In my personal experience, it's best to hang out with the person you like and become closer friends and get to know and understand them better before getting into a relationship. Usually that happens and there's a bit of a honeymoon phase for the first 1-6 months, and in that time you kind of figure out if you want to stay together with that person. But I hear from my sister that most people her age (in Gen Z) have very odd relationships where a lot of people think you have to talk all of the time and spend all of your time together otherwise they might think you're cheating. She thinks a relationship sounds like too much work since she's busy focusing on herself and I've seen a lot of other people her age think that as well. Then there's also people my age who are okay with casual relationships and casual sex without making it serious or really becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Relationships are very complicated and very different here, just from person to person. xD
@KK C This is what she said: "People my age just have an unrealistic expectation that their significant others will always put them first when they’re not always able to. That’s all"
#1 thing needs to be communication.
If both people speak their mind and are truthful, both people can figure out what they need/want and can progress. Beating around the bush or not speaking your mind just leads to confusion and hurt feelings. Unfortunately as a species we can't read minds!
Some people might see that as being too forward, but I think if a person is looking for a serious relationship then it's what must be done if you want a healthy long lasting relationship
Agreed. Although this is rather hard since people have different views on what a relationship should be. Some agree on it fast, and then you realize they are just goofing around. Then again, you can't just say " hey, lets be together, but it needs to be serious". That can push away a lot of people. In the end, I think perception is a good thing to have. Sometimes you can figure out fast what type of person you are dating.
@@Imperiusism well if it pushes someone away because you want to be serious and not be in limbo, then they're not worth it! Loyalty is important
I like straightforward to girls, no matter what are their nationalities. Three months are too much to confess the feeling And i like the girl who give an answer straightforward . no ghosting and silent either. I hate that kind of girls who just keep distance or no answer. I respect if the girls say ; i need time. But they say it in front of my face or directly.
Here in Argentina we don't care much about titles. It's not that we ignore them but it doesn't make much of a difference if we are an official couple or not, we just do the things a "normal couple" would do. There are people who have only been meeting each other for one or two months and they start a relationship that can go one for more that five years! It obviously depends on the kind of person you are. I'm sorry if my english is not that good!
If I am reading between the lines correctly, there is only a modest gap between Western and Japanese modes of having sex. Men lead with empathy, listening, sublimation of ego, and admiration. But for continuing a relationship, deepening it, there must be formal declarations where intent is clear and unambiguous. Japanese women have more social pressure to find a suitable spouse by age 27 (3 cubed) (but this stigma is abating, I hope) but still want to have fun in their playful years. As a guy who went to university in the mid 70s, sex was a recreational sport engaged in equally by both men and women. In the US, it still is (until the beer bug hit). But when I found my wife, that all stopped and I became a responsible man.
Cathy you should become Radio Jockey. Your voice is too amazing. 🤗
Regarding your question, I think the dating ritual is very dependant on the person and the kind of relationship they seek. I used to pick up one night stands in bars and clubs with some cheesy lines, pushy body language and witty remarks. It usually didn't take longer than a few hours. And it didn't last longer, either.
When I seriously dated as a working guy, I invited girls for a coffee, because the first coffe is like an interview, only to determine whether you have the most basic similarities or not. Then for a restaurant, because restaurant is good to probe social skills, how well groomed she is, how does she behave in public, and can she express her thoughts and emotions in coherent sentences.
And then to some kind of programme, shooting range, go-kart or a leisure park with bob; the point was to make their hearts beat faster, and later, when I drove them home, I used to drop the line: "Hey, that was really cool. I'd love to have a happy time like this with you for the rest of my life.". Their answers usually told me whether I can ask if I can spend the night at their place or not. If it was a no-go, then I used to give them a few more dates, but if it didn't go anywhere, I ceased contact.
I think if you arrange a date for every week, it shouldn't take more than a month to determine the kind of relationship you are in. Let's face it: it's fun to fool around and have sex without a commitment, so if you don't get an answer (not necessarily an outspoken answer) in a month, then that is the answer. The medium is the message. Good luck & have fun! ;)
I don't understand why people think that sleeping with each other before entering a serious relationship is something only a guy would want. Seeing how he behaves in bed is part of the attraction. On top of that it should be obvious when you're a couple and wether you like each other without words. If it's not - would it ever be?
Sorry no
I don't want baby/std etc. No protection is hundred percent
I've never understood the whole concept of making things "official". If you've been dating someone exclusively for 3 months in my mind that means you're official, there's no need to go through some confession to ask someone to be your girlfriend/boyfriend. If they didn't want to be they wouldn't have continued to date you for 3 months over multiple dates
I know, right? Sometimes, things just transition smoothly
I go out with everyone so good luck ya
I'm in Mexico and I never had a problem on this I just get to be friend with the girl and talk a lot about everything so we can know what each other is searching or wanting to find, sometimes nothing serious sometimes love, and if she give me the signals and I do it too, I just say, wanna be my girlfriend or she ask for something else too, I mean it's super easy and I never understood why is so complicated to others, I think here this dating things are like super more relaxed and I'm glad of it.
Actually some people here abroad, for example in a friend group, there will be those two people that you’re starting to see that they’re getting closer everyday. They probably hang out from time to time outside of school, and also probably to each other’s house. Sometimes you see them at school a bit too close with each other, so that’s when one person from the friend group asks if the two are dating. They’re gonna look at each other, and definitely gonna deny, smile, and say “no, we’re friends” but at the same time, they both know that they have feelings for each other but still aren’t dating. I hope that made sense🤷♂️
Love is simple and it doesn't hurt, relationships in particular physical ones are difficult/painful.The idea that Love hurts is a misunderstanding of Love, think of the old normanclature: If you truely love something then you can let it go.That in part is true Love, the pain that people attribute to Love is nothing more than the ego (the image of ourself we create) being robbed of what it wanted; much like a child that cries after their toy broke. The child's actions result in something they neither foresaw, desired or had the ability to comprehend, we often act similarly though the situation/reason for causing our cognitive dissonance is diffrent. We (most of us) might not be physically or mentally children anymore there are still many misunderstandings, misconceptions, and unknowns to any individuals experience of the world. Add to this one's journey to know (to know is to accept which is a result of Love) themself and walk forward (hopefully in Truth), only to compound these when we get in any kind of relatiinship. It's no wonder something as simple and true as Love gets slandered and overcomplicated. Now I'm not perfect and I don't have all the answers in fact I will tell you I'm lying, on the bassis that you shouldn't follow me. Seek the Truth from the source not people, not that people can't help one anther but we aren't the answer. Aaand that's a rant haha sorry, much love to any that actually read the thoughts of this mad man...doubt it but if anyone wants me to elaborate on an idea or statement just ask (if so hopefully I get notified) peace to you all
@KK C @KK C I would like to preface my answer by saying asking for another's view point or help can be beneficial, but to take what is said as Truth can be potentially detrimental. That said this is what I see but again I must say, please due to my love for that which is the Truth I wish not for anything I say to draw you away from that Truth. As far as your first question I would say that it is likely (I say likely as I don't know the people nor their situation) that the cheater never truely loved the other to begin with; but was actually in love with an image they created for that person. An when the person couldn't/didn't meet that image, the cheater fulfilled their desire to be with someone that could (or at least seemed to) or simply rebelled against the one that disappointed them. I say this because even though to love someone comes with the ability to let them go, this does not permit one to knowingly hurt the other; an if the harm was not expected then the cheater didn't truely know their partner. When it comes to marriage two are no longer themselves one but together are one, with this the same principal just outlined holds just as if not more true. In regards to your second question I would say yes, you needn't get angry if the your partner cheats (though this is easier said then done); anger is a blinding and divisive spirit. It will do harm while instilling a false feeling of progress/relief, leaving a wound unhealed an sensitive. I hope something I said helps you or someone you know, an thank you for the questions they give me a chance to better understand this subject myself. I'm willing to continue our dialogue if you wish but regardless best of luck to you an yours
@KK C I see this world as being in a spiritual war, an in turn I see emotions as spirits. These spirits themselves can do nothing and have nothing more then influence of things of this world (we are in this world not of it), because of this they wish to bind themselves with people. This gives them vast amounts of influence as even one person can greatly effect things in this world or at least effect the people in their life.
With this concept in mind the spirit of anger doesn't wish to lose those it has bound its self with, I find the actions and philosophy of people often allow for just this. Why would an action made in anger free you from it or mistrust, doubt/self doubt, guilt, vengeance, pride, or depending on the cause of anger a number of other spirits. This world and the spirits that pervail over it cause division, often propositioning ideas that are seemingly positive. But due to the nature people have accepted, arguments are made over who's idea is correct. A house divided shall not stand, and these spirits work as one absolving us of true Love. Love is the one spirit that when truely an fully enbraced will result in no other spirit, to move forward towards that full enbrace is our best option.
In regards to blame the cheater choose their actions for that they are at fault. We too are not faultless, not for their actions, but for our own troubles. We can often deceive our selves of the state a relationship is in, regardless if it's physical or not. We are the ones believing a lie, in this example even if the cheater had fooled themselves thinking they loved you; we are acting on their dillusion. They have something we desire and due to that we act in accordance with them to fulfill that desire. If talking to a cashier an they say "hey I saw a sign at the local car dealer offering have off for all trade-ins", hearing this you go to the dealer fully expecting to get the car you had been wanting new an with all the options. But you come to find out it's half off all trade-ins for used cars of equal or less value, would you be angry at the cashier. Now obviously this isn't a 1:1 comparison but it holds a number of similarities. In the example of cheating a lack of communication leads to misunderstanding of the other which results in a lack of compassion (even if only "momentary"). Working towards a full understanding of the complexities that this world poses will allow us to love people not there actions, comprehending how people (including me) are fighting more than what most would perceive.
Sorry if the format of my comment(s) was/is hard to read, doing this from my phone and I often neglect to space what could be parragraphs out. Also sorry if my answer is a little much just trying to ensure (as much as possible) that what I wrote wasn't misconstrued.
The third date is when both should disclose any deal breakers, so that everyone can make an informed decision about whether or not they should be boyfriends or girlfriends. Any arrests or convictions. Have you ever been in a cult. You know, the usual.
You forgot to mention “do you own a meme page?
If you become friends first you seem to increase your chances as now they have evidence on you, as extra reasons for them to accept, however, those who wish to stay as friends are probably the type of people who are good to know but not live with on a daily basis.
We in the West laugh and joke about the friend zone, but if you confess and she would rather be friends, then staying as friends is better because then this can be work for you of being around girls and not behaving differently, like trying to impress of pamper them because they can be potential mates, which will then make your actual next mate feel more comfortable with you knowing other girls because you already know girls you find attractive but aren't trying to win or score with them, meaning if a girl does try and flirt to you it shouldn't mean anything as you are used to female precence, especially one of which was previously love driven.
If you stop being friends after being friend zoned then that makes them think they made the right choice because this can imply that you only liked her because of the possibility of a relationship greater than friendship not actually her for simply existing and having common interests, etc.
Think of it like a guy only being your friend because he gets to use your Wi-Fi/ Hotspot for free, and when you tell him he can't use it anymore, he stops being your friend.
Furthermore you then become a person who only talks to girls you find attractive and think you can be a potential mate with, resulting in you coming across as hungry, awkward and shallow. This then eventually breeds what we in the West call the "nice guy" - Someone who thinks girls are puzzles to solve rather than emotional beings.
KEEP IN MIND - there are some girls who are just wanting to lead men on for free stuff like dinner and clothing, so not all cases staying with them is the better option, but those girls are type of people who probably watch the "how to tell a girl likes you videos" and will purposely do those things on you to try and hook you.
In real love, their is no signs, because you both love each other both of your minds are full of each and you will have it in your head to look/glance at where her feet are pointing, or who she looks at when laughing.
(I know these because I used to watch them)
In fake love, then there are signs, because they are maybe showing interest and you are not - but rather metaphorically standing back and monitoring her like a computer.
How these "love guru's" found these "signs" was be maybe watching two people who do love each other and neither of them were aware of these "signs" but as the guru was standing back and observing her like a computer (metaphorically) he noticed some patterns, but you if you're genuinely in love should never purposely notice these things.
In the end this is just my opinion. If you think I'm wrong then keep thinking that, and I'll keep thinking this.
@KK C
The difference is, if you become friends first (not for the reason of them becoming your partner) then the pain wouldn't be so bad. As it developed over time and wasn't your purpose and the reason you became friends with them.
You're right though, in that they go in groups, but it's not really 3rd wheel because you are actually involved. It's more like a spare tire. Still not super nice I guess.
Most of the time it leads to more because of male biology, which makes it hard to ignore the possibility. However, it is possible for it not to lead to more, but why risk it, right? And it is probably more common for it to lead to more.
STORYTIME!
My love experiences(I'm a girl):
1.
Boy(we were some kind of friends): Asks me to go out
Me: Sure
Boy: Like a date?
Me: No
Boy: *Tells everyone we are a couple out of anger
Me:"breaks up"
That lastet for three days and I never expectet that someone could do something like this
After that my reputation was ruined for being a "player"- I got it back
We are enemies now
2.
Boy(he's my friend): Hey, I need help- so I have a crush on that girl
Me: Me too! Of course I can give you advice
Boy: But.......it's the person left to me
Me: *Realizes he meant me
Oop-
Ye- he was heartbroken after that, we're still friends though
3.
Me: Ok, calm down! Alright Moon, now go to her(
My wife and I were friends first and then went out together. After a couple of years SHE bought a 1.5 carat diamond engagement ring, put it on in front of me and waited for me to "get the hint" that she was going to marry me but wanted to hear the question. Yeah, she picked me...I wonder what's wrong with her? LOL...!
That's pretty fucking based. What a Chad move. Respect.
Omg, only just realized that Hiroko has a YT channel of her own 😂 Only knew her from Asian Boss...
Regarding serious intercultural relationships, I would say it can work only if the relationship is more beneficial mutually than it is complicated. Because let there be no doubt about it, it will present problems, problems that can only be traced back to culture and upbringing. And it is a very hard challenge to differentiate between the exact person, your partner, and her / his cultural background.
So if you are Japanese and your partner is a Japanese, and you have an argument with her, you say: Hiroko, you behaved wrong. But if you are Japanese, and your partner is a Western girl, you say: Western girls behave wrong. At this makes it so frustrating, because your either accept or break up.
However, I see a lot of good examples too, where intercultural partners pretty easily overlook some shortcomings of each other, because their cultural backgrounds downplay the importance of some "character deficiencies". For example, the European guys are much more tolerant to clumsy, incoordinated or not-housewife-material women, and Japanese people are much more tolerant to introverted girls and guys. While in Europe we ought to have this extroverted attitude to gain attention, in Japan it's perfectly normal if you are not much of a talker. By that I mean you can talk, you just open up slowly. With that attitude, you rarely ever get a chance in Europe, to talk to a woman at all.
When I used to date in Japan, it was harder for me to slow down my pace to the Japanese style, and I screwd up my first dates because I was too much, too pushy. The poor girls were shocked. But I corrected my behaviour and got what I wanted. But then the girl became too much and too pushy, she started to come up with marriage and future plans after a few months, and I insisted that we should know each other first. In the end I broke up and broke her heart too, because I was like an ideal match for her, but she wasn't able to understand that marriage is a decision I want to make when the pink cloud of love has cleared out of my head.
I don’t know if its because I am getting old or whatever. I really don’t fit in either of the dating scenario. Japanese or western style of dating. I just go with my feelings,the moment and the type of woman I am dating. For a shy person like myself,I am considered to be more of the agressive type with my Japanese friends.
I am from the Montreal area in Canada and I am glad that I am not dating in the Usa because I know the dating scene there is much harder.
Depends what state but yeah like a big city like New York, Los Angeles, Miami then you're probably right.
It's not only in Japan. In Mexico we do have a formal declaration after a period of going out (sually after a couple of dates where intimacy is not implied). We call it a ''declaración''. Think of a telenovela where the protagonist shows up with flowers and declares himself to the girl. The real thing is less cheesy though. I'm very shocked and confused that this isn't a thing everywhere. But I'm very glad it is a thing in Japan. Just another reason for me to go to Japan. : )
I love your "sniff around"expression.It's brilliant🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍
Reminds me to the time we talked with my fiance, that a classmate of ours dated a girl for about three or so weeks before asking to be her gf.
And we laughed at the fact that we hooked up instantly. And we were like:"Wait, we were too fast, oh whatever."
We're engaged now, after three years.
It always amaze me how many people, Asians in particular are so cold and slow to confess to their crush. I know it's a cultural thing, but it still surprises me
It might be a cultural thing but I think its also like a personal preference thing. Like for me personally for example, I'd want to be friends with a boy for a while before we officially started dating(or confessed my feelings) cause personally it takes me a while to know when I really really like people or just like the process of getting to know each other, verses my two friends started dating only after a few days of knowing each other >//< But I do think westerners and Japanese people have very different love languages and just ways of dating!
I definitely think it is a weird cross between personal preference and cultural upbringing. I know plenty of people who have hooked up quick and gone on to be married, and I know people who knew each other and were friends before dating and ended up married.
I tend to be more of the type who is looking for a relationship (not to get married immediately) and will go on dates to see how things go and build the friendship as we get to know each other, building the intimacy at the same time.
I guess that makes me more on the Japanese side of this discussion (not an ounce of Japanese in me) in that I prefer to have things defined in a relationship so I know what the next progression step is, if it is going to happen. I always felt if you like the person, just date them, don’t waste time becoming friends because if you miss the window, that’s all you might ever be.
@@charlesedwards2856 👏👏👏 well said
@@carlgear1215 occasionally I’m super insightful!
@@charlesedwards2856 wow u have the same name like me
Thanks for subtitles in arabic
So Kathy Neko isn't dating Director San? 😞 My ship isn't sailing.
Well, they do spend a lot of time together, go out together to all kind of places and he can't stop taking pictures of her. It is indeed very suspicious.
@@RobertoBaca 😄
Esta viendo vuestro vidio la diferencia eslo mismo ami España haki la jente se ha cuestael mismo día meses conocen vale adios
Not to flex, but when i've dated, its often been the girl confessing to me or asking me out.
Japan seems to be filled w/ B-Boys. Unfortunately, boys who are primarily B-Boys are weak. I’m glad Hiroko got out of that relationship; he was just treating you as a “friend w/ benefits”. You did everything couples do, but he didn’t want anyone to think y’all were a couple. He said he COULD be your boyfriend (even though he was as intimate w/ you as only boyfriends are), but he wanted a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. Hiroko, that’s a toxic relationship! He said it himself, he doesn’t want to date you to maybe become serious lovers, he didn’t consider you his actual girlfriend (that’s what “I COULD be your boyfriend” meant), he didn’t want to marry you, he just saw you as a hot piece of a** that he could play w/ whenever he wanted!
I never sleep w/ a girl unless we’ve been together for awhile as boyfriend/girlfriend, we’ve decisively fallen in love, & we’re ready to take our relationship to the next level.
And I’d say take a girl out on dates every now & then, hangout often (spend time together), build any possible feelings y’all might have for each other, then ask her out after about 1.5-2 months; that’s how I’ve done things.
But those are just my feelings, I’m not a beta-male, I’m not an alpha-male, I’m just a guy somewhere in the middle who cares about the wellbeing of others. I expect to get a lot of flak for my comment here.
I'm not meaning to give you any flak for what you said but some ppl, guys and girls, like casual dating, but him not knowing if she WAS one of those girls, or maybe only wanted even more of that with someone later on (casual as in day to day, or week to week, maybe even month to month but not LONG term planing), it's just best not to assume. Which he seem to be "respecting that she may be the long term planer sort, and didn't want to give her the wrong idea about him since he's obviously not"... Not every one who causally dates ppl, even monogamously, is into ppl just for "their hot a**", and calling ppl who are into only being casual, even the day to day kind, as "toxic", just bc it's not what you would do, is kinda prejudice... Sure I'll give you the way he said it "I could be your bf if you wanted me to" was kinda weird, but it's at least a start. She may have not been the type to want marriage or even be thinking about that either. I would hate it if I was just being casual with someone and they just came out and called me their lover. Its like talk to me about it first, like she did with him, then you can go from there, don't just slap a label on "us" like you own me, THAT'S toxic... I don't think he meant any harm by it, but it can be hard to get your point across if you don't have the practice or aren't the type to think about that kind of stuff (like "relationship labels"). He clearly wasn't adverse to it, it just wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to force on her, "keeping her all to himself", even though they hadn't had "the talk" yet, or the type to really think all that far ahead without that kind of convo.
The way I took her reaction was that she felt patronized and so got offended, but didn't seem to ask him if that's how he meant it either. He just seemed really socially awkward to me, that's why I was surprised she didn't ask him if HE wanted to date HER without marriage, plus she didn't say one way or the other about that either, so... Stuff like this happens when BOTH ppl don't have open communication, something MOST ppl don't properly know how to do well at all. And since she didn't tell him how she took it, or at least didn't tell us, the viewers, that she did, it seems very one sided, as if she just assumed he was "being bad" about it and went with that assumption like it was fact to vilify him for the sake of views. Not saying that's what she was intending to do, but I really do wish we got to hear the rest of that convo, so at least I'd know for sure.
Karma Please know this reply is not out of anger or screaming or any other negative emotion, it is simply a rebuttal to your response. Thank you.
My biggest point is that those relationship conversations need to happen; SHOULD have happened. I myself have dated only 2 girls seriously in my life & we still had that conversation.
If they were just dating for sex (casual dating), they wouldn’t have hung out much, if at all, outside of times they’d have sex; they especially wouldn’t have, all but, lived together (or ACTUALLY lived together, if they did), as that’s much more than casual dating anywhere you go.
Before they even began their relationship they should’ve had that brief talk, “Now you’re not going to make this weird & anything more than a one-night-stand/casual-dating, are you?”
I believe when he said “I COULD be your boyfriend (she emphasized the could, which leads listeners to think that he emphasized ‘could’ as well)”, I believe they had a place together & they were already in a relationship; you don’t move in w/ your sex partner unless you want to become more, even children know that (my point being that everyone knows it, as well as they know the sky is blue).
If they didn’t live together & weren’t dating in any real form, I could understand him forbidding her from saying they’re dating; but they were doing everything a serious couple does, & more than many relationships do. I think she was TRYING to talk to him about this, when he said he COULD be her boyfriend, but didn’t want it to go anywhere. Honestly he should’ve manned up & had that conversation w/ her a long time ago, because not doing so smacks heavily of leading her on.
@@bostontracy5151 If you say so, but I also think you don't seem to know the difference between being "f*ck buddies" and being in a "casual relationship" (of which there is a huge difference) - besides they could have been roommates in his mind that did stuff together, and hung out together due to their being friends, and him helping her out something she did say was actually the case. She assumed they were dating but didn't have the talk with him to confirm it until HE said something about it, he didn't assume they were dating without having the talk first but understood the social implications of a female "being roommates/crashing with/ or otherwise living with a guy" so for her own sake and his not having to deal with social drama said to keep it to herself - I've done most of those things, and with no one I even wanted to marry... You have to understand this is Japan we are talking about...marriage is a big thing over there, and most females seem to think that if they are actually dating someone then they WILL get married. But not all guys think the same way, at least until they are told the female's intentions with HIM. Yea he could have brought it up, but then again so could she have. I'm simply saying its not all on him...and "manning up" doesn't really have much to do with it. Ppl are different and we really didn't get the whole convo, and just bc someone emphasizes a word or two in their retelling of events, doesn't mean that's how those words were originally said... I should think that's pretty basic...also I don't take what you've said to me as "yelling" but I still think you've been missing my point. At least some what. And besides, not many ppl I know of say such things right off the bat when getting to know someone. Anyways all I've been trying to get at is that she's a grown ass woman, and should learn to take responsibility for the parts she plays in any kind of misunderstandings and not expect for the other person to carry her in that, at least in the future. And maybe in retelling events actually finish a story so that we can see if it's really how one might take it.
Assuming doesn't do anyone any good, if anyone can take anything away from this, that should be it...
Anyway, good for you dude for totally "being up front" with the chicks you want to get with, I guess some girls are into that too. Most ppl I know would think what he did isn't such a big deal, and if they did, would have said something about "not having the talk" long b4 it could ever become a thing like it did. To each their own.
Karma My point in mentioning the word emphasis is that, that’s how linguistic analyses work.
My point in saying that he should’ve “manned up”, is that he’s a grown person as well as her & should’ve at least mentioned his intentions; there’s a very fine line between “it never really came up, so I didn’t mention it (or the “I forgot” version)” & intentionally avoiding talking about it.
Yes, she’s a grown a** woman & should act like it, but he’s definitely not some teen, he’s a grown a** man & should act his age as well. I agree that it can’t all be put on him to talk about whatever kind of relationship they have (be it f*** buddies, casual dating, serious dating), but it can’t all be put on her either to talk about that. They both have a responsibility to each other to figure things out between each other. W/o hearing his side of the conversation, I can’t tell if he’s just blindly oblivious (as seems to be), or if he was just leading her on (as she implies), or if he was too timid to talk about these things (as seems common among beta-makes), or if it was something entirely different.
Based on how much she was hurt (as we can easily see), & based on the conversations we hear from her that they had (and that she prompted), I think we can gauge in a preliminary way that he was timid, enjoyed her as a f*** buddy, & it’s still unknown if he was truly leading her on or showing the carrot & letting her imagination basically run wild.
Ultimately it’s partially on her, but (as she prompted the talks & seemed to agree to proposed plans/ideas) I think it’s still on him a bit more.
@@bostontracy5151 Like I said b4, if you say so. I don't really care either way, too much drama. It just seemed like you were trashing some guy you didn't really know anything about (for real, only second hand if that) bc his life stile didn't fit with your "morals" or something like that, without taking his side into account and also catering to her actions and lack thereof a bit too much. That's all; your original statement just seems a bit too "unbalanced" so I thought I'd point that out to you. I'm not much for playing "devil's advocate", but it did seem a bit hateful, or at least spiteful with what seemed like you "whore bashing" the lad. So I thought I'd at least say something cause I'm not into double standards like that, at least not enough to not say something about it. Otherwise, like I said, I don't really care all that much as it has nothing to do with me, and I personally wouldn't involve myself in such drama irl (like being involved first hand). Ppl gotta figure crap out themselves or they'll never learn to overcome their weaknesses, and catering to another's weakness like that is too codependent for me to stomach. But I'm glad you, at least, don't seem to be down with that stuff too much either. Upon talking with you like this that's what I've come to choose how to take it thus far at least.
Anyways, unless you've got something else to add to it, later.
Very tricky. I don't think 3 months is enough to know how a person is like on the inside and if you want to make the decision to date them. If you find out later the person is not what you expected and you're dating them, the feelings could be harmful when you express yourself honestly. I want to say maybe six months might be ideal with many ways to try and see how a person is truly like and what it is you are getting yourself into if your partner isn't completely honest.
Dating was so much easier back then. "Oh hey I like you, I have daughter, you have son let's get them married." or "I'll trade my six goats for your child to marry my child"
Isnt that tradition
The girls need to be more open about what they want!
True, like why do we have to do all the hard work
oh i saw hiroko in here too, usually i saw her on asian boss!
I have a japanese GF since 1973. We even married. However I never had to ask if we should be GF+BF. It happened - just so.
The music, in the beginning, had me thinking I had a video off in the background...
Dont need to say it,
,IF you both get along well, R compatible
you know right away she/ he is the ONE for you,
So dont waste time and get hitched or
shack up for a while
To see how it goes
If you need to ask your lovers feelings you arent compatible
or dont know them well enough
Hiroko's swearing is simply awesome. 😎😋🥰 Not all possess the ability to swear at the right time. Good timing. Yeah 😊.
If you want something you go get it .... if you want someone tell them ... they may want you too but if they don’t .. no regrets ..
I think Japanese with Misa's Misa says the opposite: The girl is supposed to do the kokuhaku. That may not have been a very thought-out piece of information though.
This is interesting because in movies or anime is always the girl who “confesses “ her love
i think that troupe is to appeal to the male portion of the audience (esp. in Shonen anime) cuz we guys are usually cowards and are afraid of confessing and scaring away the girl.
@@danshakuimo But, it also encourages females to step up, I think.
From my experience as a Frenchy, if you wait 3 months for doing the move, your friendzoned DEEP HARD since 2 months lol, but of course it depend of the person and other things. Actually do Japanese people have knowledge of what the friendzone concept is ?
😂😂 do stuff like that even exist i only though of it is something regular show made
If you are dating someone exclusively by default that makes them your boyfriend or girlfriend especially if you are seeking them out to do things together just on a social basis and not just as a +1 to events or the like. Tell them hey I am only seeing you and I like seeing you socially to do these events or excursions, are you in the same place as me? So if you were to call a relationship a girlfriend or boyfriend what changes would you expect to be that kind of relationship?
It's always cool to wake up and watch your video ! You always upload it at the same time and it is perfect to me
Like I live in Germany and I've lived in Spain before (not European) but most people just stay friends despite how close they are tho I think Spanish people are a bit more straightforward since they are naturally more romantic than Germans
Here in Brazil we are generally more faster. The tricky thing is that in BR there are a LOT of people with asian background, specially from jp ( we are the largest japanese colony in the world )...And i can see this nuances even when im dating a person with that background, though she is Brazilian!! Japanese roots go deep...hehe
ひろこさんめちゃ可愛いっすね
amazing double team 😁
.....Yes, serious dating is hard & always has been. Non-serious dating is just fornication. One of my favorite saying about love/relationships was from the movie "Crossing Delancy"...."What do you think God does in his spare time? He puts people together into relationships. Some work out & others not so much. But when he gets it right? All the world rejoices...But if God knows all outcomes how come he gets it wrong sometimes?.... Because God gave us free will"
Idea:
Say So - Doja Cat Japanese version Reaction Video
It is a fan made Japanese version of a trending "Say So" song by Doja Cat. I notice not many native speakers or people who said they were comfortable with Japanese reacted to it. I am interested in their perspective. Maybe the topic of switching songs from English to Japanese. Do listeners prefer a Japanese version or a converted version? :D
6:22 where are those pictures from? i've seen some japanese people use those pictures before
Look up いらすとや.
3 months.. that seems too hayai, but I suppose a lot of relationships there are that fast paced.
In my own case, the few rare times I confessed, it didn't work out for me those times lol, and the few longer relationships I had with a girl, including my longest relationship (a couple of years), the girl confessed to me. I do have to admit, we were kind of best friend/good friends before that. The few girls I dated, I knew they were into me and frankly I used their confession as a confirmation, but usually I was fairly sure the feelings were mutual. Once I got confirmation I show them exactly how much I care about them, good or bad. I was lucky enough to get confessed by a few female friends over the years, sadly for them, feelings weren't always mutual and I let them know as gently as I could. Some times there's only a good friendship but no real chemistry, you can't really force love. In my experience you basically need to be really good friends first, there's always small signs that there's more and at that point usually, then it's only a matter of time before one of the two confesses, it doesn't have to be the guy per se. Admittedly some times you misinterpret those signs, but there's plenty of ways to check if he/she is into you. I just think people need to be honest to each other, good or bad, thinking back about this one girl I liked a lot and I know she liked me too, I did my best, showed her plenty of times I cared about her and we were together a lot, clearly enjoyed each other's company, but each time when I tried to make a move, she just...backed off, always coming back later though, at one point I just gave up. Then a few months later I saw her at university, she was at the same one I was going to and we had classes right next to each other at around the same time, meaning that we would wait in about the same spot each morning. That same girl acted crazy nice to me then for some reason, but I didn't care anymore, she played way too hard to get before and I couldn't take it anymore. To this day I'm pretty sure there was something, but for some reason she just blocked herself from me, at one point I actually got a lose confirmation; I accidentally touched her boob with my hand and she got really mad at me, bu then I just replied to her: sry, my bad, I don't think it's a big deal anyways, I know you like me a lot anyways. She just smiled back to me, that smile was not a smile out of friendship. I let her know I liked her too, but she just never caved in for whatever reason, if she had just confessed, who knows where we might be now. Now this other girl, I admit is probably my own fuck up: childhood friend, when I first saw her, I fell in love with her back then. We lost touch as we both changed school, but later in life we found each other again, we took the same train home at the same station as well. Here and there we saw each other and every time it was so damn nice, we had the best time then, clearly there was some crazy chemisty between us. And then the major fuck up on my side: this one day, we went to a local amusement park and I had like the worst day ever because of a bully (a girl, turned out later that she had feelings for me too lol) and then by bad luck I saw her at the park and I was a total jerk to her while she was the nicest girl ever...that was the very last time I ever saw her, looking back I should have asked her phone number or whatever, to keep in touch, I'm guessing that was probably the one time I might had a shot at confession to a girl and would have had a positive response. I gave these 2 stories as examples to use, some times the girl should confess, some times it's the guy, as long as one of the two does it, if there's love it will be ok, it there's no mutual love at least you know you need to move on.
This video is excluding the girls who play hard to get, or just play for the free stuff.
You didn't say this but - There shouldn't be a rule as to who has to confess, but, nearly all of the good women do prefer a man who is more confident than themselves.
@@X33Ultras0und my point is along the lines: somebody has to make the first move when both parties really like eachother, it doesn't have to always be the guy per se. The way I see is: both guys and girls can express love, there's nothing wrong with the girl admitting she has feeling for a guy. Love is complicated enough, playing hard to get is just silly. BTw I do agree with what you said.
Don't know why, but I'm finding Hiroko hilarious. Sniff sniff sniff around
Never say to a girl/woman "please be my girlfriend" XD