Great advice! I am mother of a gay son. He came out to me when he was 14. I always had an open mind and embraced him and who he was. I would be lying if I didn’t say, for the first days or so, I just had to adjust to what I thought his life would be like and also mine. I did think about marriage and a family for him. As Joel and Keagan said it is just an adjustment period for parents. I came around very quickly and realized all of that could still come true ( grandchildren) if my son wanted. He is now engaged and has found a wonderful person to spend his life with❤
This is just lovely Dawn, thank you for accepting your son for who he is, it means more to him than you know! ❤️ wish there were more mothers like you in the world!
After my mom had breast cancer and got cured her personality changed. I offered to go to family therapy after which she has declined to speak. (Sorry that this was not about being gay. My parents always liked my boyfriends more than me lol)
This is so interesting. I'm from the Southern US and we use the term "friend" for anyone who is not married (straight, gay or other). My grandmother had a "friend" until he passed away. I'm in my 30's and we used the term BF and GF is grade school but partner is very commonly used.
Well...I am a gay man and I really appreciate your statement. Only...please do not call it a lifestyle because that might imply that being gay is a choice. It is not. All the best xxx
I am happy for him that his mom has accepted him and his partner. I think that he could start to be extra kind and nice to her. Show her affection and appreciation. I think that being genuine to his mom in action and not just words could help her accepting and appreciating him and his boyfriend as well.
Fabulous question. Great answer. And good for you coming out to your mum. I know those closest to us are the hardest to speak up to, and might have the hardest time adjusting their expectations. Riley : this is unlikely, but it could also be that she wants a boyfriend she likes better for you. Not a good reason to disrespect the relationship but it happens even in straight relationships. At that point it's passive aggressive. My point is to echo the Helpful Homos. If you have the type of relationship where you can have a private direct convo with her about what is going on for her, and not feel the need to interrupt or change her mind, just learn where she is in the process. And if it's really tough not to react or get upset, you could just make sure you understand where she's coming from and say, "I get that, and I'll have more to say later, but I want you to know that I'm happy and I hope you can eventually be happy for me." Then, you can step away and process and find the best responses and have another conversation with her about it. This is much easier said than done if you are like me and get really defensive with your family.
If your mother is cold towards your partner that is not always a bad thing. Older people can sometimes see things that you don't. They might be a better judge of character than you when you are infatuated. When I was younger my father hated my partner. And in the end I found out that my father was perfectly right about him.
This one, once again, was very true. I think, you are more clear than «professionals». You say what needs to be said in a very direct way which do not need any more explanations. And Keegan's accent is way more easy to understand for a non English speaker (I am a French-Canadian speaker) that Texas accent of Zachary and Alastair Patton-Garcia (Adventures of Z and B.)
Excellent advice ! And Keegan is correct.........willful ignorance is a whole other ball game and hopefully Riley won't have to deal with that. Hopefully a private chat with the mom will take care of things. She may not even realize what and how she is saying things. It took me a long time to realize that blood family are just people........and not necessarily people that have to be liked. Values and character and general priorities are what draw us to others and for a lot of gays, a chosen family is the best solution for them. Riley always has the option of creating a circle that fulfills those needs but hopefully not because his mum turns out to be willfully ignorant.
It is possible that this is going to be a difficult one, and if that's the case - then I'm sorry; other people probably have better advice for that than me. However - it's also possible that mum in this situation isn't being intolerant so much as completely lacking any kind of mental framework with which to process the relationship. Some people (even now!) never meaningfully encounter anything outside of a fairly orthodox heterosexual relationship with well-defined, traditional, gendered roles foundational to that partnership - and if that's the framework for understanding that someone's working from, the conversations you can have attempting to explain that - no, this is a romantic relationship; we're _both_ 'the man' but we're in love with each other - can get pretty awkward and embarrassing for all parties involved. This might sound unlikely these days, with the amount of conversation about sex and sexuality you have on TV and in some socal circles - but bear in mind that we are talking about understanding the inner workings of people's private lives; those do tend to be private, so it's still not uncommon to find people who just have no clue about much of anything because it's never been part of their life until that point. For what it's worth, I hope that's all it is; it may not be. But 'I actually have no clue what your relationship is, and am defaulting to a weird descriptor for it because that's the closest fit I can find' is a thing people do. So that's a possibility, if there's someone in your life responding like that.
Really lucky here. My parents had an inkling about my sexuallity before I came out to them. They didn't give a proverbial! They have been fully supportive, even standing up to their Vicar who voiced an opinion.
I think l saw a bit of respect in Keegan' eyes when he was focused on Joel as Joel was saying, "don't be confrontational, just say how you feel." Those self help books are paying off 😅
One thing counts, that your happy with your partner. If its a male or female, I couldn’t care less. There only what I and some of my gay friend have a problem with is the rainbow bs colors. Why identify with colors if you just wanting to be respected and accepted for who you are. Hetero people don’t have colors either to identify with, as no one shouldn’t. Don’t by the crap of evil forces who are doing this and indoctrinate people. Just be yourself. 😉
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Great advice! I am mother of a gay son. He came out to me when he was 14. I always had an open mind and embraced him and who he was. I would be lying if I didn’t say, for the first days or so, I just had to adjust to what I thought his life would be like and also mine. I did think about marriage and a family for him. As Joel and Keagan said it is just an adjustment period for parents. I came around very quickly and realized all of that could still come true ( grandchildren) if my son wanted. He is now engaged and has found a wonderful person to spend his life with❤
This is just lovely Dawn, thank you for accepting your son for who he is, it means more to him than you know! ❤️ wish there were more mothers like you in the world!
Thank you! That means so much! I’m so
proud of Jared , my son, for living his authentic self. Everyone should! So happy you both are as well!💛
Mothers like you give us hope. An inspiration. Thank you for being a light in this world!!
@@okorochukwunonso2563 ❤️❤️❤️
I'm not sure there is a need to tolerate the intolerant.
I never referred to my ex, who I lived with for 25 years as "My Boyfriend". He was always "My Partner". The terms change with each generation.
Great advice! SO glad the LGBT community has you two as a resource.
From the lyric "You have more friends than you know" one line states "people who love you the most may need more time to grow" .
After my mom had breast cancer and got cured her personality changed. I offered to go to family therapy after which she has declined to speak. (Sorry that this was not about being gay. My parents always liked my boyfriends more than me lol)
This is so interesting.
I'm from the Southern US and we use the term "friend" for anyone who is not married (straight, gay or other).
My grandmother had a "friend" until he passed away. I'm in my 30's and we used the term BF and GF is grade school but partner is very commonly used.
They are your parents and imho parents should accept you for you. It’s their problem if they can’t.
I’m a straight female. I enjoy listening to your podcasts. It’s helping me learn more about your lifestyle.
Well...I am a gay man and I really appreciate your statement. Only...please do not call it a lifestyle because that might imply that being gay is a choice. It is not. All the best xxx
Following up with @hubertl75 's comment with a suggestion, perhaps you could use the term "your experience" rather than "your lifestyle."
@@hubertl75 that’s the kind of thing I want to learn. Thank you.
I am happy for him that his mom has accepted him and his partner. I think that he could start to be extra kind and nice to her. Show her affection and appreciation. I think that being genuine to his mom in action and not just words could help her accepting and appreciating him and his boyfriend as well.
Sounds good! We should always try and treat people with love and respect.
Fabulous question. Great answer. And good for you coming out to your mum. I know those closest to us are the hardest to speak up to, and might have the hardest time adjusting their expectations.
Riley : this is unlikely, but it could also be that she wants a boyfriend she likes better for you. Not a good reason to disrespect the relationship but it happens even in straight relationships. At that point it's passive aggressive. My point is to echo the Helpful Homos. If you have the type of relationship where you can have a private direct convo with her about what is going on for her, and not feel the need to interrupt or change her mind, just learn where she is in the process. And if it's really tough not to react or get upset, you could just make sure you understand where she's coming from and say, "I get that, and I'll have more to say later, but I want you to know that I'm happy and I hope you can eventually be happy for me." Then, you can step away and process and find the best responses and have another conversation with her about it. This is much easier said than done if you are like me and get really defensive with your family.
If your mother is cold towards your partner that is not always a bad thing. Older people can sometimes see things that you don't. They might be a better judge of character than you when you are infatuated. When I was younger my father hated my partner. And in the end I found out that my father was perfectly right about him.
Once again good, solid, and sound advice!! Are you guys sure your not professional licensed therapists? 😂 ❤😊
Pretty sure! Glad you enjoyed
Very good advice as always. Enjoy watching
Glad you enjoyed it
This one, once again, was very true. I think, you are more clear than «professionals». You say what needs to be said in a very direct way which do not need any more explanations. And Keegan's accent is way more easy to understand for a non English speaker (I am a French-Canadian speaker) that Texas accent of Zachary and Alastair Patton-Garcia (Adventures of Z and B.)
Excellent advice ! And Keegan is correct.........willful ignorance is a whole other ball game and hopefully Riley won't have to deal with that. Hopefully a private chat with the mom will take care of things. She may not even realize what and how she is saying things. It took me a long time to realize that blood family are just people........and not necessarily people that have to be liked. Values and character and general priorities are what draw us to others and for a lot of gays, a chosen family is the best solution for them. Riley always has the option of creating a circle that fulfills those needs but hopefully not because his mum turns out to be willfully ignorant.
So well put, thank you for sharing this with us!
It is possible that this is going to be a difficult one, and if that's the case - then I'm sorry; other people probably have better advice for that than me.
However - it's also possible that mum in this situation isn't being intolerant so much as completely lacking any kind of mental framework with which to process the relationship. Some people (even now!) never meaningfully encounter anything outside of a fairly orthodox heterosexual relationship with well-defined, traditional, gendered roles foundational to that partnership - and if that's the framework for understanding that someone's working from, the conversations you can have attempting to explain that - no, this is a romantic relationship; we're _both_ 'the man' but we're in love with each other - can get pretty awkward and embarrassing for all parties involved.
This might sound unlikely these days, with the amount of conversation about sex and sexuality you have on TV and in some socal circles - but bear in mind that we are talking about understanding the inner workings of people's private lives; those do tend to be private, so it's still not uncommon to find people who just have no clue about much of anything because it's never been part of their life until that point. For what it's worth, I hope that's all it is; it may not be. But 'I actually have no clue what your relationship is, and am defaulting to a weird descriptor for it because that's the closest fit I can find' is a thing people do. So that's a possibility, if there's someone in your life responding like that.
Really lucky here. My parents had an inkling about my sexuallity before I came out to them.
They didn't give a proverbial! They have been fully supportive, even standing up to their Vicar who voiced an opinion.
That is really lucky, we wish more people had your experience! Thank you for sharing this with us 🌈
Very good balanced advice. Well done lads!
His mom also has to come out as a parent of a gay son. Patience and empathy - but don’t let it interfere with the good news: you have a boyfriend!!
[How are Edina Monsoon (eats heavy with extra custard Bismarks and Boston Kremes) and Patsy Stone today?]
That was really good advice.
Glad you enjoyed!
I think l saw a bit of respect in Keegan' eyes when he was focused on Joel as Joel was saying, "don't be confrontational, just say how you feel." Those self help books are paying off 😅
Well, it's good advice! Being automatically confrontational can be a waste of time when trying to communicate.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
In a bazillion years, I wouldn't have guessed that you two are gay. I guess Australia is generally more macho than America, and certainly Britain.
One thing counts, that your happy with your partner. If its a male or female, I couldn’t care less. There only what I and some of my gay friend have a problem with is the rainbow bs colors. Why identify with colors if you just wanting to be respected and accepted for who you are. Hetero people don’t have colors either to identify with, as no one shouldn’t. Don’t by the crap of evil forces who are doing this and indoctrinate people. Just be yourself. 😉