This is a painful truth but realistic. I just visited a city that I lived in for a long time. I had lots of "friends" there and was socially active. I moved away about 12 years ago. When I visited, I got on FB beforehand and tried to set up a gathering, inviting about 7 people. No one showed and my wife and I had a meal just us. The realization was that people who you get along with and are around can be called "friends" but are they your 3am friends? The ones you can call at 3am for any reason and they will accept the call and help. Those are your real friends.
Yes this is so true. It's easy to be a friend when all you are having are meals, nice conversations and fun times. I feel that many of us prioritise the above when making friends. But a true friend is so much more than that. It's about the person u can randomly text about your day, people who will be there for u no matter how busy they are, ppl who make time for you, make you feel safe and supported etc. Actually a number of people we call friends don't give us any of the above. And in many larger friendship groups, there is always an undercurrent of other dynamics going on that people do not verbalise. So it always looks like a bunch of ppl having so much fun when in reality the interactions could be very superficial.
This is a painful truth but realistic. I just visited a city that I lived in for a long time. I had lots of "friends" there and was socially active. I moved away about 12 years ago. When I visited, I got on FB beforehand and tried to set up a gathering, inviting about 7 people. No one showed and my wife and I had a meal just us. The realization was that people who you get along with and are around can be called "friends" but are they your 3am friends? The ones you can call at 3am for any reason and they will accept the call and help. Those are your real friends.
Yes this is so true. It's easy to be a friend when all you are having are meals, nice conversations and fun times. I feel that many of us prioritise the above when making friends. But a true friend is so much more than that. It's about the person u can randomly text about your day, people who will be there for u no matter how busy they are, ppl who make time for you, make you feel safe and supported etc. Actually a number of people we call friends don't give us any of the above. And in many larger friendship groups, there is always an undercurrent of other dynamics going on that people do not verbalise. So it always looks like a bunch of ppl having so much fun when in reality the interactions could be very superficial.