You can now buy Expert shirts & hoodies at laurisb.myshopify.com/ For all the experts out there who can do absolutely anything they're asked to, this is the ideal garment for your office battles.
@@timothypham2509, in general I am not commisionaing ideas, but I am open to collaborations (though am not planning to work on anything at the moment). You can just drop me a line on the e-mail that is on my channel.
75% is also 75 / 100 which means they can produce 75 prototypes and when he's done we can ship the other 25. Its much more efficient than shipping only 3!
The thing about handouts, if you make them really short and easy to read, people will say it lacks details. And if you make it long and detailed, they won't glance over it and sort of "go blank" and ignore all the details. You can't win in the game of handout reports.
Grumpy ol' Boot I feel with you! Damn I hate to create hand outs!! One fucking typo and 15 Minutes in the meeting is lost because everybody likes to procrastinate on that typo. They are too lazy, dumb or ignorante to focus on the content in the first place!
I think this is Bethesda with Fallout 76. The "it just works" attitude is there. But yeah. The 25 percent as DLC is a nice observation on your side. Truth be told my first thought was Electronic Arts too. Then again. That conversation should end with someone saying 75 percent ready and out, if it is finished the other 10 percent ls sold as DLC, the remaining 15 is lootbox.
What I don't understand is why 90 degrees was the bottom value tested for right angles. I believe an 81 degree right angle would be better. It is 10% more efficient than a 90 degree right angle, and so we could expect it to work perfectly 9 out of 10 times. Alternatively, the right angle problem would have been resolved using a straight angle. R&D should look into developing straight angles. As we all know, in theory, straight angles are ambidextrous, so using them would allow them to be used for both right angle and left angle applications.
I feel like I missed the "Design me a pie chart to show 114%" episode. I can just see how it would have gone down. "Anderson, you seem fixated on circles with this pie-chart problem. You're the expert, I shouldn't have to be creative for you, but maybe you should try a square. Think outside the box a bit." Then, someone else, "Clearly if he can't show 114% with his circle, then he needs a bigger circle. I'm not saying I understand everything Anderson does, but this is obvious. If you need more, make it bigger."
There was an episode of Disney's show Dinosaurs where one of the characters was trying to explain extinction, and what they got was "what do you mean there isn't more? There's always more, that's what 'more' means!"
The last piece of the puzzle that is missing - is the Project manager asking for an additional customer requirement: the square will need to be capable to roll with 0 friction. "Just a minor addition".
Nicholas Lau Just look at how researching the size of the right angle has dragged on. Clearly Anderson didn't do a thorough enough job. Probably because he keep insisting on these left angles when he was clearly asked to use right ones.
I do technical stuff that are hard to explain to laypeople in any kind of comprehensive way without explaining like 10 different technologies. Sometimes I have similarly frustrating meetings and interactions at work. I often show these skits to friends and family to explain what those are like for me. I'd gladly support a patreon or whatever to keep these coming!
You would be surprised as to how many people would actually donate. A lot of people would look forward to small skits like this that they can relate since they also experience something similar at their workplace.
Because too many "managers" and "supervisors" don't pay enough attention to hiring (or don't participate). Then they don't trust the hired guy... If you hire an expert, you have to make sure he is actual expert and then trust him. Because he knows stuff you hired him for. Otherwise you would be able do to that yourself. Which actually you should to some extent... But this is impossible.
As a 40 year old engineer I finally understand what getting triggered means. I go through this entirely too often. Art is imitating life in the most brutal and honest way possible.
people at work are divers, lickers, lazies, ladies, flatties, doers, and there's this always on fire dude which always think best for the company, but his intentions are rolled over by those, other type of people.
As part of a project that had a promised ship date for a product that wasn't even designed yet, this is all too familiar. One of the funnier/sadder lines came from a "marketing" person in the meeting, when "engineering" said that one of the prototype components was failing in testing, and they couldn't figure out why. "Is this going to affect the ship date?"
The reply should be "No, not at all. You're an experienced marketing executive, so I'm sure you're capable of selling the customer a product that doesn't work".
Get blamed for non-existent problems whilst being ignored when pointing out existent problems. Realism 1000%. These videos make me cry whilst rocking back and forth and laugh like a lunatic at the same time. It is a good thing the Andersons of the world don't resort to violence whilst they're still sane. Wait, is it a good thing?...
In the sense that all of you Andersons of the world don't end up in jail for assault - or murder? Yes. It IS a good thing that you all manage to curb your instincts towards resorting to violence! :p
10 Rules for being a Project Manager: 1. Always tell the Program Director what they want to hear. Directors do not want to hear the word "No" or "Can't". Strike these words from your vocabulary entirely. 2. Never do anything yourself. Delegate absolutely every task, including the delegation of tasks. That way, you'll always have someone else to blame when things go wrong. 3. If the project is delayed for any reason, fire someone immediately. It doesn't matter who. Do not refill the vacant position. Leave the rest of the work for the other team members to absorb since they don't have enough to do anyway. This will give the Director the impression that you are taking charge and that the delay was not your fault. 4. Do not concern yourself with staying up to date on industry standards and practices. After all, if your company isn't already doing it that way, it must be completely irrelevant. 5. Be sure to take credit for everything your team accomplishes. If they complain, remind them that there is no "I" in "Team" and that the new solution wouldn't have been taken seriously otherwise. (See the movie Working Girl) 6. Make sure you have at least one hour-long, mandatory team meeting every week where you require each team member to produce a PowerPoint slideshow presentation about what they've accomplished so far and outline their "Strategic Work Plan" going forward. This way, team members will be forced to constantly justify their position and prove that they are essential to the project, thereby shielding them from elimination. (See rule #3.) This will also cause them to compete with each other for your favor and approval. 7. Never answer emails from team members. Doing so makes it difficult to gaslight them. Also, do not answer your phone, ever, and do not, under any circumstances, reply to voice mail messages or even listen to them. In fact, it's best to just let them build up until your voicemail box is full and can't accept any more messages. Being inaccessible to your team ensures they will have to figure out any problems on their own without dragging you into the tepid shallows of the piss-filled swimming pool we call "work". 8. Contracting expensive consultants when your own in-house team members are perfectly capable of providing the solutions needed demonstrates how seriously you are taking this project while diminishing the self-confidence of your team and increasing their self-doubt. This way, even if the team comes up with their own solution, you will be able to take credit for having the foresight to bring in an "expert" and makes it easier to require a larger budget for the next project. 9. Be sure to switch to a completely new software program halfway through the project and demand that everyone uses it while refusing to learn anything about it yourself and you continue to use the old program. 10. Your number one priority is to complete the project with as little work possible (by you) and just enough mediocrity to meet all the metrics and justify getting paid while handing it over with enough polish and shine to get praise. To do this, you must learn to exploit and capitalize on the talent and hard work of your team while making sure none of them is a threat to your job. By sharpening and fine-tuning this skill, with each new project, you will quickly rise to a level of ass-kissing and brown-nosing that will perfectly position you to become the next Program Director, where you will get to rub shoulders with executives and board members, travel to flashy trade shows and conventions in exotic locations, take months-long vacations, and sabbaticals, receive large bonuses, stock options, and obtain an enormous corner office, and a parking space. Who knows, you might even become a lobbyist!
I sat on a phone call and listened to our CTO tell a client that their project would take three weeks. The rest of us exchanged shocked looks, but waited until after the call to remind him we were swamped for at least 2 months, how could he promise them 3 weeks? "I said it would take 3 weeks, I didn't say when we would start."
I think the most infuriating part of these sketches is slowly realizing that in some situations I'm Anderson and in other situations I'm Anderson's colleagues.
That's great that you're willing to admit you see yoruself on both sides! I never saw it that way and only thought of it as "Thank goodness I'm not much of an Anderson in these scenarios".
What Anderson is missing is a good team lead. As a developer, Anderson should never have been in that meeting. He should have been working on the 'Linear Solutions' project. A good team lead knows how to placate an aggressive project manager while still looking out for the best interest of his/her team.
This is so good, and it is also following a story from each sketch to the next, brilliant! The diabolical thing is how Anderson is called for every meeting only to be never listened to or always contradicted
I had a similar "meeting" with one of the managers at work. Guy can't even spell the word software and he was lecturing me (i am a software developer )about how to develop code. I was trying to explain to him how the functions he is using cannot take all the arguments he wants. Programming languages have rules just like every other language out there! It was pointless. He kept telling me to go find some tutorials online to study. 🙄 Business people are the most useless in the industry. Zero actual skills. They are overgrown toddlers that learn a new word everyday and then just repeat it.
He's decided to use the right angle for the square project, and he's getting Anderson to remove any pesky left angles, but he forget to tell Anderson to make sure the lines in the right angle run parallel to each other. ^_^
fuzzylumpkin49 it's ok. 50% of the lines are parallel so we can ship the first 2 of 3 of 4. Remotely fix the 3rd. While completing the design for the fourth. Dont worry. I'll adjust the project schedule, showing you working on those tasks in parallel. Please don't thank me, that's what my executive bonus is for. Your bonus? Well this is the middle of an economic dowterm, that would just be sending the wrong message to our shareholders.
Very well done. A paragon of a progress meeting. We actually train our middle management using your videos in order to streamline our projects. The turnout has increased by 132 percent during the last quarter.
I have literally attended a meeting about meetings. I was working on a project as one of the SMEs and OMG.... People were talking about what we should and shouldn't cover in our regular catch ups, does anyone have any ideas for "meeting hygiene" 🙄, should we take turns chairing the meetings - no thanks. The project manager should be driving this. What shall we do to encourage better attendance at our meetings? I dunno, don't make them so painful, useless or long and drawn out like this one? I scream and curse internally hoping one day I don't say the quiet part out loud.
I feel so much places and reaction in common with Anderson, especially thinking and working in Asia way. Cannot help watch for dozen times, Good job, Lauris. Please keep making such good works!
There wasn't nearly enough backstabbbing and rivalry between the team leads to call this meeting "ordinary". Even though Anderson's boss made the rookie mistake of letting the engineer sit at the table as though they were people.
Before getting my degree: _I can do most things, but not in a professional way._ After I got my degree: _I can somewhat do most things kind of professional, still a lot to learn._ At my first workplace: _Who cares about professionalism, as fast and as cheap as possible is our norm!_ In other words: The employer requires his workforce to have a college or university degree, but then forces them to work the same way they did before getting that degree...
@@jamespfitz You actually got a good point there. That sadly doesn't make the 'rushed work' problem less annoying... I understand that in running a company sometimes things have to be rushed, but if this happens regularly there is a bigger issue at play. I want to be proud of my work, not ashamed and embarrassed...
Lauris, I hope these videos have provided an income to help you escape whatever situation that inspired these videos! This is all too spot on to my current experience and it helps to not feel alone! lol.
Just like in real life then. 10 office crawlers in suits bragging away with the results left for one single worker to sort out months in advance of the regular predetermined schedule.
The CEO had just approved shipping the prototype as the production version, and the best programmer in our company had received 24 hours to justify his apoplectic response. This micro-reasonable response attracted the other stellar, competent programmer to his cubicle next to mine (working on a separate project) for an all-nighter. The periodic expressions of glee were memorable. There was a 150+ page report on the CEOs desk THE NEXT MORNING. Respects, QLB...
I did one of those ridiculous on line interviews yesterday and had to describe a challenging incident. I said that trying to explain engineering to salesmen and accountants was as tough as it got. The rejection email arrived within hours!
To do both I have been in meetings where one guy does his absolute best to make everyone else on the project team feeling like absolute crap and after the meeting is over this same individual is brown nosing the rest of the team trying to get the objective met and take the credit yet again
I sat in a Salesforce product launch UAT debrief where we failed 100% of the business use cases. Next day, the head of technology announced it was ready for launch and it went completely smoothly. When I asked about it I was told, "in these things there is a 80/20 rule: get 80% right and then come back for the 20%" When I pointed out we had a 100% fail...they just looked away like I wasn't talking.
Squares on wall paper, squares on shirts, on ties, on drinking glasses, out in the hall there are squares everywhere in this video! are you trying to brainwash us? lol Seriously love this series!!
This is partially why I switched from engineering to sales. One time I got called into a big meeting with the CEO and he asked, "How many mg can our pump hold?" "Well... it depends on the concentration sir." "AGH! That's exactly what Brian said. Why won't you just tell me how many milligrams are in our pump?"
Check out the previous episodes of The Expert: Square Project! bit.ly/SquareProjectEp1 bit.ly/SquareProjectEp2 Have you seen the original video? Watch The Expert: bit.ly/TheExpertSketch
I feel like our favourite Expert is heading towards an early grave with this office environment. At this rate, he only has has a few more sketches before someone asks him to make a triangle with 6 sides and no corners, then his heart will explode from the blood pressure spike and he'll keel over. After that, it'll probably be another 2-3 sketches before one of his coworkers realizes he's dead and not just ignoring his emails.
I just adore all the episodes!! Perfect match of actors, esp the expert. That is nearly the structure of any company, regardless the country or language 😂. Thank you!!!!))
Marvelous videos guys, really made me laugh (and glad that I recently quit this environment so now it hurts a loss less! More PTSD than an open wound haha) You should put them in a playlist on your channel :)
I feel so sorry for Anderson. Cant he get a break just once? maybe meeting someone that isn't a complete tool at the office? (Like a soulmate or another expert from another company?) It just seems like hes ready to jump the building soon xD
And this is also relevant not only for external engineering/IT projects. Even internal projects within Finance departments of big companies go the same way. "Progress" is the key word. Even if the "progress" means rolling in the system that isn't finally tested and fixed yet and adds tons of the workload to the staff to deal with the issues.
Never works like that....Also providing training on the job needs to be accounted for. Pretending like it doesn't exist is an awful disservice to the poor sod who does it.
I once worked on a project where everyone was hoping the manager would not show up, because whenever he did, he would loudly explain things to himself everyone else already knew, and nothing would get done. That manager made as much as the rest of the team combined. (And I was assured that that had been a bargain, because he had been head-hunted from a different company, and been reputed as a genius in hus field (corporate management).)
And to be fair, he kind of was. He made sure that none of the workers got paid a minute too much, that as little tax as possible was actually paid, and that marketing was generously funded for annually rewriting the unchanging company guidlines on colour schemes and occasionally posting to a Twitter feed that nobody was following, while the homepage redesign was outsourced to the relative of an acquaintance who needed to buff their CV.
Make more episodes like this IT jobs and IT office comedy. you are doing a very good job. make at least one video a week. looking forward to your upcoming episodes
I have a variation of this: I call it the "Do It Like We've Always Done It, Just Better". This scenario happens when "The Business" wants something "enterprisey" and "innovative", but the whole process is driven by risk-adverse, non-technical managers who have no idea how such solutions are actually implemented. When the Expert in this case proposes a particular solution, the Business people cherry-pick bits and pieces of the solution to fit their limited understanding of the problem and they crazy glue them onto the prior solution. As meetings continue, it becomes painfully apparent that no true innovation can take place because the Business is not willing to take any real risks. All the Business really wants is a solution similar to what it's always done, just "better".
You can now buy Expert shirts & hoodies at laurisb.myshopify.com/
For all the experts out there who can do absolutely anything they're asked to, this is the ideal garment for your office battles.
How can I submit an idea for your next short?
@@timothypham2509, in general I am not commisionaing ideas, but I am open to collaborations (though am not planning to work on anything at the moment). You can just drop me a line on the e-mail that is on my channel.
75% is also 75 / 100 which means they can produce 75 prototypes and when he's done we can ship the other 25. Its much more efficient than shipping only 3!
Flawless maths!
Uhm, both?
Good joke
Could we reasonably take a risk here and say that 75% is 750/1000? In that case we can scale the production even further.
Even better, 75% is also 75,000,000/100,000,000. That's an increase of nearly 100,000%! This has been very productive.
I feel for Anderson, as a developer I've been in similar non-sensical meetings.
Did you have handouts with you?
I love this series of sketch. I can so relate to this. :-)
The thing about handouts, if you make them really short and easy to read, people will say it lacks details.
And if you make it long and detailed, they won't glance over it and sort of "go blank" and ignore all the details.
You can't win in the game of handout reports.
In the game of handout reports you win or you get a nasty paper cut.
Grumpy ol' Boot I feel with you! Damn I hate to create hand outs!! One fucking typo and 15 Minutes in the meeting is lost because everybody likes to procrastinate on that typo. They are too lazy, dumb or ignorante to focus on the content in the first place!
To anyone wondering, the company is called Electronic Arts.
I think this is Bethesda with Fallout 76. The "it just works" attitude is there. But yeah. The 25 percent as DLC is a nice observation on your side. Truth be told my first thought was Electronic Arts too. Then again. That conversation should end with someone saying 75 percent ready and out, if it is finished the other 10 percent ls sold as DLC, the remaining 15 is lootbox.
😭😭😭😭
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Bruh i was about to comment that then i saw this.... 😂✋
No, I'm certain I work there.
This scenario happened exactly 3 hours ago in our project meeting
Have you finished the revised schedule?
Kapitan Blue is life in this world so Bizarre? So sorry.
@@MISJPEREZ stranger than fiction
This is my daily life
my condolences
What I don't understand is why 90 degrees was the bottom value tested for right angles. I believe an 81 degree right angle would be better. It is 10% more efficient than a 90 degree right angle, and so we could expect it to work perfectly 9 out of 10 times.
Alternatively, the right angle problem would have been resolved using a straight angle. R&D should look into developing straight angles. As we all know, in theory, straight angles are ambidextrous, so using them would allow them to be used for both right angle and left angle applications.
Are you looking for a new job, by any chance? We have an opening.
JCarlos Quebrado My head hurts already.. stop!
Haha 😅you have big imagination I can see
I lost at ambidextrous lol
Your genius but people like me who r little dumb cloud understand this that's why they made it easy way
A project manager is the sort of person that thinks, 3 women can produce one baby in 3 months
Plus, you can also save on C-sections!
A shit one... yes
they would raise the salary to get another sap in the seat ... rinse and repeat
or produce body in 7 months, and head in other 2 months
The original joke was 9 women 1 month..
I feel like I missed the "Design me a pie chart to show 114%" episode. I can just see how it would have gone down. "Anderson, you seem fixated on circles with this pie-chart problem. You're the expert, I shouldn't have to be creative for you, but maybe you should try a square. Think outside the box a bit." Then, someone else, "Clearly if he can't show 114% with his circle, then he needs a bigger circle. I'm not saying I understand everything Anderson does, but this is obvious. If you need more, make it bigger."
Check out the previous episode:)
bit.ly/SquareProjectEp2
But I like the way you're thinking!
Hire this man!
I'm not even an office worker but I legitimately FEEL this level of annoyance.
There was an episode of Disney's show Dinosaurs where one of the characters was trying to explain extinction, and what they got was "what do you mean there isn't more? There's always more, that's what 'more' means!"
sirdeadlock Go to 11.
The last piece of the puzzle that is missing - is the Project manager asking for an additional customer requirement: the square will need to be capable to roll with 0 friction. "Just a minor addition".
0 friction, haha :)
should be easy. "Timothy, can you implement and test that 0 friction feature tonight for tomorrow's release?"
they already made that kind of joke in the expert 1
I wonder what would happen to this company if this guy quits
Don't give him ideas!
It would clearly result in a better workflow now that he isn't there to block all of the ideas of his colleges.
Bankruptcy
gruntmaster1 That would make total sense. They would be at 1000% productivity without him
Nicholas Lau Just look at how researching the size of the right angle has dragged on. Clearly Anderson didn't do a thorough enough job. Probably because he keep insisting on these left angles when he was clearly asked to use right ones.
I do technical stuff that are hard to explain to laypeople in any kind of comprehensive way without explaining like 10 different technologies. Sometimes I have similarly frustrating meetings and interactions at work. I often show these skits to friends and family to explain what those are like for me. I'd gladly support a patreon or whatever to keep these coming!
Glad you liked it! Patreon is something I've considered, but didn't think it would have been appropriate... Perhaps need to rethink.
You would be surprised as to how many people would actually donate. A lot of people would look forward to small skits like this that they can relate since they also experience something similar at their workplace.
Because too many "managers" and "supervisors" don't pay enough attention to hiring (or don't participate). Then they don't trust the hired guy...
If you hire an expert, you have to make sure he is actual expert and then trust him. Because he knows stuff you hired him for. Otherwise you would be able do to that yourself. Which actually you should to some extent... But this is impossible.
@@LaurisB this is gold stuff btw, i would pay $ to watch a few of these vids per month
@@infirmux Too many managers hire experts, then don't respect their expertise anyway.
This is painful to watch. Especially if you're a real life Anderson.
if you're a real life anderson, you should quit your job or find better working conditions
@@Thunar7 Will send you my cv... you are probably with management.
I was
I was
Agent Smith walk in: 'Well, well, we meet again.... Mr Anderson.'
As a 40 year old engineer I finally understand what getting triggered means. I go through this entirely too often. Art is imitating life in the most brutal and honest way possible.
Yeah these clips are so true and well observed, they are PAINFUL to watch.
That is why I retired!;) Ex 'lectronics Tech/ IT 42 years...
people at work are divers, lickers, lazies, ladies, flatties, doers, and there's this always on fire dude which always think best for the company, but his intentions are rolled over by those, other type of people.
As part of a project that had a promised ship date for a product that wasn't even designed yet, this is all too familiar. One of the funnier/sadder lines came from a "marketing" person in the meeting, when "engineering" said that one of the prototype components was failing in testing, and they couldn't figure out why. "Is this going to affect the ship date?"
Haha, you make a ridiculous sketch, but still there will be people that say: "Nah, this happened to me!" I guess, that is a challenge?
I'm sure it's happened to more than just me; 'tis the nature of corporate life.
The reply should be "No, not at all. You're an experienced marketing executive, so I'm sure you're capable of selling the customer a product that doesn't work".
Get blamed for non-existent problems whilst being ignored when pointing out existent problems. Realism 1000%.
These videos make me cry whilst rocking back and forth and laugh like a lunatic at the same time.
It is a good thing the Andersons of the world don't resort to violence whilst they're still sane. Wait, is it a good thing?...
I wonder the same question all the time
In the sense that all of you Andersons of the world don't end up in jail for assault - or murder? Yes. It IS a good thing that you all manage to curb your instincts towards resorting to violence! :p
😂😂
Honestly, the attention given to somethings as appose to others. Asymetrical responses, one questions their sanity.
Brilliant writing, brilliant acting. He has the perfect WTF face, someone should make a meme out of it. LoL
Take any frame around 1:33 and you have it
When the manager starts to explain the 3/4 like to a 6 year old, and everyone just keeps nodding... priceless
10 Rules for being a Project Manager:
1. Always tell the Program Director what they want to hear. Directors do not want to hear the word "No" or "Can't". Strike these words from your vocabulary entirely.
2. Never do anything yourself. Delegate absolutely every task, including the delegation of tasks. That way, you'll always have someone else to blame when things go wrong.
3. If the project is delayed for any reason, fire someone immediately. It doesn't matter who. Do not refill the vacant position. Leave the rest of the work for the other team members to absorb since they don't have enough to do anyway. This will give the Director the impression that you are taking charge and that the delay was not your fault.
4. Do not concern yourself with staying up to date on industry standards and practices. After all, if your company isn't already doing it that way, it must be completely irrelevant.
5. Be sure to take credit for everything your team accomplishes. If they complain, remind them that there is no "I" in "Team" and that the new solution wouldn't have been taken seriously otherwise. (See the movie Working Girl)
6. Make sure you have at least one hour-long, mandatory team meeting every week where you require each team member to produce a PowerPoint slideshow presentation about what they've accomplished so far and outline their "Strategic Work Plan" going forward. This way, team members will be forced to constantly justify their position and prove that they are essential to the project, thereby shielding them from elimination. (See rule #3.) This will also cause them to compete with each other for your favor and approval.
7. Never answer emails from team members. Doing so makes it difficult to gaslight them. Also, do not answer your phone, ever, and do not, under any circumstances, reply to voice mail messages or even listen to them. In fact, it's best to just let them build up until your voicemail box is full and can't accept any more messages. Being inaccessible to your team ensures they will have to figure out any problems on their own without dragging you into the tepid shallows of the piss-filled swimming pool we call "work".
8. Contracting expensive consultants when your own in-house team members are perfectly capable of providing the solutions needed demonstrates how seriously you are taking this project while diminishing the self-confidence of your team and increasing their self-doubt. This way, even if the team comes up with their own solution, you will be able to take credit for having the foresight to bring in an "expert" and makes it easier to require a larger budget for the next project.
9. Be sure to switch to a completely new software program halfway through the project and demand that everyone uses it while refusing to learn anything about it yourself and you continue to use the old program.
10. Your number one priority is to complete the project with as little work possible (by you) and just enough mediocrity to meet all the metrics and justify getting paid while handing it over with enough polish and shine to get praise. To do this, you must learn to exploit and capitalize on the talent and hard work of your team while making sure none of them is a threat to your job. By sharpening and fine-tuning this skill, with each new project, you will quickly rise to a level of ass-kissing and brown-nosing that will perfectly position you to become the next Program Director, where you will get to rub shoulders with executives and board members, travel to flashy trade shows and conventions in exotic locations, take months-long vacations, and sabbaticals, receive large bonuses, stock options, and obtain an enormous corner office, and a parking space. Who knows, you might even become a lobbyist!
F
F
best comment
*capitaliSe
Preach!
This is painfully accurate.
Oh YES!
I sat on a phone call and listened to our CTO tell a client that their project would take three weeks. The rest of us exchanged shocked looks, but waited until after the call to remind him we were swamped for at least 2 months, how could he promise them 3 weeks?
"I said it would take 3 weeks, I didn't say when we would start."
No, no! He's got a point!
Gotta admit, it's not the worst argument possible
I'm sure that ended up working with no issues whatsoever!
After watching all The Expert sketches i just want to hug Anderson and tell him it's all going to be fine.
But you know it isn't...
I think the most infuriating part of these sketches is slowly realizing that in some situations I'm Anderson and in other situations I'm Anderson's colleagues.
That's great that you're willing to admit you see yoruself on both sides! I never saw it that way and only thought of it as "Thank goodness I'm not much of an Anderson in these scenarios".
1:47 - His utterly confused/stunned face kills me every time.
This is the 4th or 5th time I've come back to this series to watch it. It never ceases to be funny.
Every once in a while, I come back to this video. I don't know why.
It hurts the same everytime.
The Chinese guy is good actor, really.
His face can tell the whole story.
Lol.
In my company he would have been fired because he dared to undermine the certain position of his colleague: he shows no solidarity.
he's not chinese
@@DA-bm2mj looks chinese to me, someone's who's also chinese. either way he looks asian
@@DA-bm2mj Orion Lee from Hongkong. He is a professional actor, in fact he had a couple of awards and he is certainly chinese.
What Anderson is missing is a good team lead. As a developer, Anderson should never have been in that meeting. He should have been working on the 'Linear Solutions' project. A good team lead knows how to placate an aggressive project manager while still looking out for the best interest of his/her team.
Exactly this. Making Devs or techs jump to answer random emails and meetings and stuff instead of doing their job...smh my head
This is so good, and it is also following a story from each sketch to the next, brilliant! The diabolical thing is how Anderson is called for every meeting only to be never listened to or always contradicted
I had a similar "meeting" with one of the managers at work. Guy can't even spell the word software and he was lecturing me (i am a software developer )about how to develop code. I was trying to explain to him how the functions he is using cannot take all the arguments he wants. Programming languages have rules just like every other language out there! It was pointless. He kept telling me to go find some tutorials online to study. 🙄 Business people are the most useless in the industry. Zero actual skills. They are overgrown toddlers that learn a new word everyday and then just repeat it.
He's decided to use the right angle for the square project, and he's getting Anderson to remove any pesky left angles, but he forget to tell Anderson to make sure the lines in the right angle run parallel to each other. ^_^
fuzzylumpkin49 it's ok. 50% of the lines are parallel so we can ship the first 2 of 3 of 4. Remotely fix the 3rd. While completing the design for the fourth. Dont worry. I'll adjust the project schedule, showing you working on those tasks in parallel. Please don't thank me, that's what my executive bonus is for. Your bonus? Well this is the middle of an economic dowterm, that would just be sending the wrong message to our shareholders.
...in a shape of a kitten.
But Not Too Thick Lines! But Make the Red Lines with a Blue, Green, Invisible, and Black Pen!
😆
Very well done. A paragon of a progress meeting. We actually train our middle management using your videos in order to streamline our projects. The turnout has increased by 132 percent during the last quarter.
132% over 4 quarters is a 528% increase! Enjoy your promotion
@@theastuteangler so true king
I have literally attended a meeting about meetings. I was working on a project as one of the SMEs and OMG.... People were talking about what we should and shouldn't cover in our regular catch ups, does anyone have any ideas for "meeting hygiene" 🙄, should we take turns chairing the meetings - no thanks. The project manager should be driving this. What shall we do to encourage better attendance at our meetings? I dunno, don't make them so painful, useless or long and drawn out like this one? I scream and curse internally hoping one day I don't say the quiet part out loud.
I feel so much places and reaction in common with Anderson, especially thinking and working in Asia way. Cannot help watch for dozen times, Good job, Lauris. Please keep making such good works!
Glad you enjoyed it!
"That's 9 out of 10" I love how he raised his finger, about to say "actually, no. That's 9 more for every 10." but didn't have time to say anything XD
Scary thought : there are people out there who thought this was a perfectly ordinary meeting
There wasn't nearly enough backstabbbing and rivalry between the team leads to call this meeting "ordinary".
Even though Anderson's boss made the rookie mistake of letting the engineer sit at the table as though they were people.
@@davidwuhrer6704 as an engineer, can confirm we aren't people.
It seems quite ordinary to me.
I stumbled unto these videos and was totally impressed as they captured the ignorance of the PM and the frustration of the developer.
Now you’ve stumbled all over my videos!
As much as I love these videos, they make me really angry :D keep it up!
Before getting my degree: _I can do most things, but not in a professional way._
After I got my degree: _I can somewhat do most things kind of professional, still a lot to learn._
At my first workplace: _Who cares about professionalism, as fast and as cheap as possible is our norm!_
In other words:
The employer requires his workforce to have a college or university degree, but then forces them to work the same way they did before getting that degree...
Who told you your degree was training? It's a pre-employment competence test administered at your expense for your employer's benefit.
@@jamespfitz You actually got a good point there.
That sadly doesn't make the 'rushed work' problem less annoying...
I understand that in running a company sometimes things have to be rushed, but if this happens regularly there is a bigger issue at play.
I want to be proud of my work, not ashamed and embarrassed...
@@TlMDV Same. Still want to be able to pay rent though.
Lauris and team, Thank you so much for this series! Absolutely brilliant!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
Lauris, I hope these videos have provided an income to help you escape whatever situation that inspired these videos! This is all too spot on to my current experience and it helps to not feel alone! lol.
Thank you so much for providing us with more insight into the life of a true expert.
why on earth do I keep clicking these? they are very upsetting. I feel for poor anderson.
it's called addiction
I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. These comedy series remind me of my job.
Just like in real life then. 10 office crawlers in suits bragging away with the results left for one single worker to sort out months in advance of the regular predetermined schedule.
I guess, everyone should hope they are not that one worker?
90%
I was in the military for 20 years and a federal gov’t job for 22….I totally get Anderson’s frustration! Love these skits!!!😂😂😂
These clips are hysterical! The whole team have great comedy instincts.
I love Anderson! 😛
The CEO had just approved shipping the prototype as the production version, and the best programmer in our company had received 24 hours to justify his apoplectic response. This micro-reasonable response attracted the other stellar, competent programmer to his cubicle next to mine (working on a separate project) for an all-nighter. The periodic expressions of glee were memorable. There was a 150+ page report on the CEOs desk THE NEXT MORNING. Respects, QLB...
I did one of those ridiculous on line interviews yesterday and had to describe a challenging incident. I said that trying to explain engineering to salesmen and accountants was as tough as it got. The rejection email arrived within hours!
these skits absolutely infuriate me, i love them
We are 75% done, this means 3 out of every 4 ... I died :D :D
I love how everyone has got so accustomed to the exaggerations of completing "135% of the project!" that they are yawning at it.
Before it was funny. Now I'm just conflicted on whether I should give Anderson a hug or just punch everyone else.
Joseph Douglas easy conflict solution. Why not both?
Same.I was just angry at my phone screen watching Anderson suffer ...this is deja vu...
To do both I have been in meetings where one guy does his absolute best to make everyone else on the project team feeling like absolute crap and after the meeting is over this same individual is brown nosing the rest of the team trying to get the objective met and take the credit yet again
Everyone else is just doing their best to make the right noises to not get fired.
I sat in a Salesforce product launch UAT debrief where we failed 100% of the business use cases. Next day, the head of technology announced it was ready for launch and it went completely smoothly.
When I asked about it I was told, "in these things there is a 80/20 rule: get 80% right and then come back for the 20%"
When I pointed out we had a 100% fail...they just looked away like I wasn't talking.
Squares on wall paper, squares on shirts, on ties, on drinking glasses, out in the hall there are squares everywhere in this video! are you trying to brainwash us? lol
Seriously love this series!!
There were a few squares under the table, as well!
Why not on the pencil box? is that any different that it doesn't get the square treatment?
This is the Square project ;)
Are those squares using right angles or left angles? 90 or 100 degrees? I am confident you cannot make squares with 90 degree right angles.
I love these. It's like a documentary of my life.
This is partially why I switched from engineering to sales.
One time I got called into a big meeting with the CEO and he asked, "How many mg can our pump hold?"
"Well... it depends on the concentration sir."
"AGH! That's exactly what Brian said. Why won't you just tell me how many milligrams are in our pump?"
Hope these videos reach every offices
Check out the previous episodes of The Expert: Square Project!
bit.ly/SquareProjectEp1
bit.ly/SquareProjectEp2
Have you seen the original video? Watch The Expert: bit.ly/TheExpertSketch
I feel like our favourite Expert is heading towards an early grave with this office environment. At this rate, he only has has a few more sketches before someone asks him to make a triangle with 6 sides and no corners, then his heart will explode from the blood pressure spike and he'll keel over. After that, it'll probably be another 2-3 sketches before one of his coworkers realizes he's dead and not just ignoring his emails.
When can we expect new ep? It’s so great!
yes! please release the next episode.. im curious what will happen to our Expert... XD
I just adore all the episodes!! Perfect match of actors, esp the expert. That is nearly the structure of any company, regardless the country or language 😂. Thank you!!!!))
9 months later.. Are you working on a new batch of episodes?
I cannot believe I just stumbled upon these. My new favorite youtube channel
This is one of the best Sketch ever, maybe also because he's relatable with nowadays world with all the technology we have.
Glad you liked it!
I hate these sketches. They give me absolute anxiety. Yet I want to keep watching them. What a twisted masterpiece. Amazing!
This is an accurate representation of how most game companies publish games?
Is that a question.
@@doko3000 thanks for the link, it was too damned accurate
@@halfondarr3951 I thought so too!
its painfully true
This is a fantastic example of how you can allow yourself to get taken advantage of if you let fear prevent you from disagreeing or being assertive.
He's been assertive. It didn't help.
Marvelous videos guys, really made me laugh (and glad that I recently quit this environment so now it hurts a loss less! More PTSD than an open wound haha)
You should put them in a playlist on your channel :)
Here you go! bit.ly/TheExpert_Series
All the department heads trying to outdo eachother by completing 114% of their objectives 90% ahead of schedule is spot on
Love this series
"we've decided to use right angle for the square project" 0:37
I would suggest to better use circle for the square project🤣
This is how developers like Bethesda develop their games.
Best short comedies ever! Please do more! I've seen them all ~5x times.
I feel so sorry for Anderson. Cant he get a break just once? maybe meeting someone that isn't a complete tool at the office? (Like a soulmate or another expert from another company?) It just seems like hes ready to jump the building soon xD
The scriptwriting and the acting are spot on!!! hahhaha
This is why my local park was closed for 15 months to do 3 days work.
And this is also relevant not only for external engineering/IT projects. Even internal projects within Finance departments of big companies go the same way. "Progress" is the key word. Even if the "progress" means rolling in the system that isn't finally tested and fixed yet and adds tons of the workload to the staff to deal with the issues.
As a computer programmer, I have been in situations exactly like this one ..
1:58 - well this was very productive!
Can't tell how many times I heard this in email-able meetings.
Wow, that's exactly how my company operates...
I'd say this video is just on the borderline of funny and painfully accurate... :D
Why did you stop making these skits? They're amazing.
Better to stop before they become stale.
Love these! The Expert is still my favorite video of all time :)
I love when I heard a manager said, we will hire 2 or 3 more person therefore we can finish the project earlier...
Never works like that....Also providing training on the job needs to be accounted for. Pretending like it doesn't exist is an awful disservice to the poor sod who does it.
Please keep these coming!
This is so true
It's actually the best Comedy about Experts on projects.
Actually, it fit really good for alls who get some real moments like that.
How much is 23%?
About 82° I'd guess
A good slice!
Weak liquor :)
Blue id say
But what colour ink?
wow, this is genius. I'll definitely use this "75% means we simply deliver 3 of 4" idea somewhen in future
More of The expert and Anderson please...
The expert after the meeting. Pure gold!
After 4 years without news, I hope Anderson quit and is living a happier life
I love this videos... They give little strokes every time
This video makes me aware of the astronomical salary difference between engineers and managers. P.S engineers are way underpaid.
I once worked on a project where everyone was hoping the manager would not show up, because whenever he did, he would loudly explain things to himself everyone else already knew, and nothing would get done. That manager made as much as the rest of the team combined. (And I was assured that that had been a bargain, because he had been head-hunted from a different company, and been reputed as a genius in hus field (corporate management).)
And to be fair, he kind of was. He made sure that none of the workers got paid a minute too much, that as little tax as possible was actually paid, and that marketing was generously funded for annually rewriting the unchanging company guidlines on colour schemes and occasionally posting to a Twitter feed that nobody was following, while the homepage redesign was outsourced to the relative of an acquaintance who needed to buff their CV.
Are you going to make any more videos?
Because those were amazing and it's been 4 years 😢
This is the footage of Mr. Anderson before the Matrix.
Now I know the real reason why Anderson took a red pill
The best comedy sketch ever👌👌👌👌👌👌👍👍👍👍👍👍👐👐👐👐👐👐👐👐👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Meeting was too short. Never that quick.
Kafka would be very proud of this 🤣
Just like most startup.. let the users be the tester 😂
Septian Ahmad Fujianto Most corporates too. And not only in IT...
This series is gold!
Make more episodes like this IT jobs and IT office comedy. you are doing a very good job. make at least one video a week. looking forward to your upcoming episodes
I have a variation of this: I call it the "Do It Like We've Always Done It, Just Better". This scenario happens when "The Business" wants something "enterprisey" and "innovative", but the whole process is driven by risk-adverse, non-technical managers who have no idea how such solutions are actually implemented. When the Expert in this case proposes a particular solution, the Business people cherry-pick bits and pieces of the solution to fit their limited understanding of the problem and they crazy glue them onto the prior solution. As meetings continue, it becomes painfully apparent that no true innovation can take place because the Business is not willing to take any real risks. All the Business really wants is a solution similar to what it's always done, just "better".
"Excellent work Timothy"....I needed a good laugh
Timothy delivers. Yet again.
So much paper wasted! It sets my teeth on edge
Not all the paper even made it on screen...
Thomas L ikr children in africa wuda eaten those
I can watch this over and over again and it never stops being true