Could anyone imagine that 23 years after Ross and Rachel broke up, we would be watching 2 relationship therapists analyze it on the internet during a pandemic?
I agree!! Through my years watching the show, I realized all of the toxicity of Ross and Rachel's relationship by seeing how Monica and Chandler were in theirs. Of course, that's not to say they were 'perfect' but what is? Hahaha.
Ross and Rachel were both immature and bad at listening to each other. Chandler and Monica communicate their insecurities with each other and fill the gaps.
I love how these two are never afraid to disagree with each other, but always do so in a respectful and rational way. True professionals, and I can see they respect each other as such.
@@janinebraul3954 I don't think it would be controversial, I think it could either be super loved or super hated. However, I would like to see how I met your mother or the big bang theory reviewed. Imagine the chaos.
@Katherine Rinck They would probably fall asleep .... because Monica/Chandler hardly had any real or serious drama in the shape/way that it came with Rachel/Ross.
Me too, especially after they get married. Because after that Monica (and everyone for that matter) is super condescending towards Chandler and it really annoyed me.
“You never have the time.” They started dating when she was a waitress who hated her job, and he was a career academic. The power dynamic was in his favor. When that power dynamic began to change, he felt threatened. Add to that the jealousy issue, and the “just a job” issue. He just didn’t see her as the woman she was becoming; he only saw her as the girl he crushed over.
Very well said I absolutely HATED the fact that the series ended with her getting off the plane and giving up her dream job. They could have worked something out.
@Francisco Leyva Martin say it all you want, it doesnt make it true, objective fact. it's just your opinion. your opinion is real, but it's not fact or truth just bc you believe it. understand?
David Schwimmer is amazing, best actor on the show , but Ross is an unlikeable character , Jennifer Aniston is one of the best actress ever , beautiful and talented , but her better job wasn't played Rachel Green ,Rachel also was in this toxic relationship , so Jennifer and David , great actors ( even i ship David and Jennifer ) , but i appreciate more the actors than their characters
Whatever it is, we always enjoy watchin friends everytime cause this is not much realistic and we ppl like to see unrealistic things cause that doesn't happen often...
The problem is that, they both got character develoment but there is nothing in the ending that actualy proves that their relationship problems can't happen again
Ross got not an ounce of character development. By the end of the series, he was still controlling and petty, still overly jealous of Rachel’s relationships, hiding her messages, dating and using a woman who had clear emotional problems to “get back at Rachel” for kissing Mark, etc. He was nowhere better than season 3.
I'm curious to know what character development you think they both had. I didn't see character development in Ross and I saw some in Rachel. Could someone give me examples of Ross's character development? I would love to hear the opinions of others.
@@jeteaze examples: Rachel trying to fix Ross's relationship with Mona (being selfish in their relationship was pretty defining for Rachel) and Ross helping Rachel with her brokem arm while having an important event and not whinimg about it (whining and braging was quite defining for Ross) There are little examples but i'd say the are better people than when they began
@@aa96998 Well, Ross did have some substantial character development in season 1 and 2 that was both interesting and consistent. Take for example, learning the "ropes" of being a father when he finds out his cheating ex-wife Carol is pregnant with his baby and deciding to share custody and be involved, while simultaneously going after the girl of his dreams in the name of Rachel Green and helping her settle in her new life in the Big Apple. Then, in season 3 and beyond he was this complete different person and the constant progression/regression continued after that. That includes neglecting Rachel with his ego, arrogance and sense of self-entitlement that came out of nowhere, and then, the many divorces and breakups that came to following in season 4, 5 etc. It is a disappointing observation and it continues to highlight where Friends itself was heading into the wrong direction. Because, season 8 did end up reviving the show for finally bringing character-driven motive back into the spotlight and writing new, interesting and fresh developments, in addition to a different type of comedy that was less cartoonish.
That was superinteresting. I would also love to see a video where they discuss Monica and Chandler's relationship and why it worked. Because they are also very difficult people who have had maaany crappy relationships before they fell in love with each other
Agreed but I think in many instances in the series we see Chandler and Monica addressing the issues they had with each other. Also they did show to support each other even in tough moment and not just bailing. Chandler was jealous of her ex not a coworker. And so did Monica she didn't jeopardize his career because she felt insecure. It is shown that even tho they had a friend group of six they managed to keep their relationship between them and not involve the others around their decision about what they will do. Remember when everyone told them not to move and it was bad and what is gonna happen in their friendship if they move so Chandler lied that they didn't get the house to get them off. And later he told Monica that he lied because they got the house and they didn't have to deal with their friends being selfish
My wife is a lawyer that does domestic violence protection orders... The risk is actually that they let you get away with being a lousy partner because they’re used to seeing things that are so much worse.
I had a relationship with a communications teacher. It’s not the same but similar. It was the best relationship I’ve ever had. He taught me so much about myself and my emotions, how to process them, and how to communicate needs. It was amazing. I became a much better version of myself thanks to his help. I would love a relationship with a therapist.
It allows us to analyze real relationship issues and what makes relationships fall apart without having to feel like we're being judgmental of real people.
@Gabby Cepeda I love how we human species continue to fall for the _"we were on a break"_ catchphrase. Because it was *never* about cheating, but rather Rachel being angry at Ross for sleeping with someone else when they were broken up. Because, later in the season 3 finale she even admits that she hadn't stopped loving him. Then, in season 4 and beyond the catchphrase gets an entire new twist and meaning. Take for example, when Ross' character says to their daughter: _"no matter what your mommy says - we were on a break, yes we were, yes we were."_ Pointing out the context that had changed to whether they were broken up at all, even though in the breakup episode Rachel clearly admitted they were.
The horrible parts of fictional people teaches people about undesirable traits. The good parts of them. How we should be. It is important to be invested in them as humans (to a point).
Mondler, hilarious. Sounds like the human version of mongrel; something bastardized that was constructed in a lab somewhere. They were the best couple that felt like a real couple and they seemed legitimately funny rather than forced.
@Molly Misandrist How about Chanica, Mondler. Then it sounds like they were spliced AND in some sci-fi movie. Although, I like your Chonica better. It sounds like something went wrong in the splicing. Chonica Mondler.
when he pointed out that “i can’t do this anymore” REALLY should be “i can’t do this, like this anymore”... this is why therapy or just a simple conversation with someone w an outside pov is genuinely sooo important. bc ending something & fixing something are completely different
It wasn't just that Ross wasn't listening to Rachel when she said she didn't have time/ten minutes, it was that he wasn't supportive or understanding of her finally getting a great job, that excites her and that she is really good at
It's ironic because when he's making that pro and con list about her one of the cons is "just a waitress"...so clearly he thinks having a purposeful job is important but...
And she had just taken over Mark's position with Sophie taking over hers as the second assistant. It's understandable that she didn't have time all week when she is the more experienced of the two. Sophie probably didn't have enough on the job training to pick up the slack
Agree, but Ross wasn't dating Mona when Rachel said that, she was at the end of her pregnancy and the relationship with Mona was over months ago. Rachel and Ross are kind of terrible to each other yet perfect for each other too.
Blah I can’t watch friends anymore because their relationship is so outdated. He is so controlling and emotionally abusive. I do like Richard and Monica’s relationship and there are parts of Monica and Chandler’s relationship I like too. The difference is that Chandler is aware of Monica’s insecurities and works with her and helps her out, supports her, and it’s sweet.
Exactly! Monica and Chandler grew together, supported each other, had arguments and disagreements but talked them out and were a healthy and realistic relationship imo.
Why is the blame always on Ross? She's emotionally manipulative af and goes back to him whenever he's in a happy relationship with someone else. She loves knowing she has control over him, too.
hollywoodshopaholic I guess he’s a bit of a showboater at times that overshadows Rachel’s behaviour a tad. She can be more logical but he’s so insecure about his dating life that he will do anything to rub it in her face and belittled her when he has someone on the hook in front of her. If you listen to any argument he’s in there’s normally a sense of undermining the other person and picking at their weaknesses. It’s always blaming the other party which is why Ross is gonna be hated more
@@cassoIa I get what you mean about Ross being more over-the-top but never picked up on him belittling others, or at least any more so than Rachel. He certainly argues to win but generally by picking holes in other people's logic or intelligence (which, let's face it, is kind of the point of an argument). Rachel often hits below-the-belt when fighting with people and criticizes them for very shallow reasons, so it's kind of a wash for me. Agree to disagree, I guess :)
Honestly another part of the problem is Ross doesn’t actually value Rachel’s job. Her dream career is in fashion but Ross doesn’t think a job in fashion is a “real job” (it’s mentioned in a few episodes around the break one). That’s going to be a source of tension. Ironically Ross is also the person who get’s ultra defensive over the validity of his own profession whenever somebody makes light of it. Honestly I don’t see them ever working as a couple. He’s had a crush on her for ages, Rachel’s never going to live up to the version of herself that Ross has a crush on because it’s an idealised version of herself that lives in his head and people aren’t perfect. Even without any other glaring problems in their relationship, this would probably doom them.
The Day Dreaming Owl The one where he goes with her to a fashion lecture. When Rachel was annoyed he went to sleep, Ross responded that he couldn’t believe the guy talked about a specific style of dress for about an hour. Like talking about fashion for any length of time was boring and not valuable.
Louis-Stéphane Ross knows what it’s like to have people question the validity of his passion but he turns around and does the same thing to Rachel. That’s what I meant.
I think how their relationship is at the end is awful too. Ross does everything he can so that Rachel doesn't move to Paris for her dream job then tells her how he feels just as she gets on the plane so she doesn't know how to feel. In the future Rachel would resent Ross for not letting her go to Paris and try out her dream.
Politely disagree . Rachel is an adult and can make her own decisions. We don’t know the exact reasons why she decided to stay, but she had them. They have a child together perhaps having the opportunity to raise Emma in a loving household with parents who love each other was her highest priority? Remember Rachel grew up in an affluent household with parents in a loveless marriage. For all we know, a stable family life is a more important want for her. Best Regards,
Two people with very different personalities at different points in their lives. Ross is established, while Rach is trying hard to establish her career.
Right, I think a lot of people really gloss over how significant a problem that is, and why Ross's behavior is so inappropriate. Ross worked for years on his doctorate. Can you imagine if he had a girlfriend doing this crazy clingy stuff to him while he's prepping for exams? All that chaos and the constant mental accountability that you have to balance and stay on top of, and then there's this partner who literally cannot give you space to succeed for the time it takes. It demonstrates how much Ross literally does not care about Rachel's investment in her future if it inconveniences him.
This. The latter point in particularly problematic, most people should take this into account when finding a suitable partner they can live and grow together with.
I think Ross isn’t understanding that this is the first time in Rachel’s life that she’s realized she can do something for herself, her first career oriented job that actually meant something.
Mona Bohamad2 it does matter LMAO otherwise you can't really say you are in love when being in love and in a relationship doesn't mean to have things just go your way and according to only your feelings. There's someone else there to consider and be supportive of. If not, that's not really love, that's probably just obsession or fear of being alone lol
Maria Molina Rachel was like a bird for Ross. Just like people love adore their Bird and feed them with so much love but they completely ignore that the bird wants to fly too.
My biggest problem with this episode and the story line is the fact that there’s no way that Joey and Chandler would have left Ross drunk at the bar. It was 100% in conflict with their characters.
Ross left with the Xerox girl, and Joey and Chandler couldn't find him, nor was Ross that drunk. He starts making out with her after only a couple beers, still being very aware of his surroundings. This is just my reading of the incident.
@@brendatomines8171 The Xerox girl clearly didn’t have any interest in them. It was logical that they didn’t hog her the whole night. Plus Chandler was the one who told Ross to go talk to Rachel, and they told Ross that when they didn’t see him anymore, they assumed he was with Rachel. Which was, again, logical if they expected him to go talk to her.
Yeah, but she was just as jealous. Almost every time he tried to move on she got jealous and possessive and tried to ruin it. At times she didn't want him but didnt want anyone else to have him.
@Aisling.. I don't think so.. he gave the earlier gifts out of jealousy when Mark still worked with her.. he brought the picnic basket and stuff out of genuine love and affection to celebrate their anniversary..
Exactly. It was an attempt to control and possess her, not to be sweet. It wasn't just jealousy about Mark. It was jealousy that her life didn't revolve around him. He was awful.
I would date him...he's passionate and caring...but you're right,that relationship wouldn't last either...he will show his true self, become obsessive and needy bcoz he still got issues with his ex wife...
@@desiraesherwood that was before, when he went there with gifts and sent a band. Yes, he was jealous but on their anniversary he just wanted to be with his girlfriend.
I know a lot of Friends fans are going to hate me but I hated Ross. For one, he dismisses Rachel's job not once but twice when she got Louis Vuitton's job in France. Always trying to sabotage her dating life. Second, Ross always disagreeing with Phoebe's spiritual beliefs because there is only one ideal way of thinking. Third, marrying Emily when he clearly still loved Rachel as if she was second best. Fourth, and even though this was the 90's just the whole ordeal with his ex-wife. Ross always puts himself superior to other women and always cries as the victim. I think there was something that I read that said, if Ross was never Monica's brother Carol would have gotten the group after their divorce. Edit: More stuff that he did. Never standing up for Monica between her and her parents. Ross writing a pros and cons list about if he should date Julie or Rachel (parts of which was also about their physical appearance). Ross not telling Mona he was living with Rachel. Ross creating, "I hate Rachel club" when they were in High School. Ross being rude to the male nanny because he was a guy. Ross also not letting his son play with dolls and instead forced him to play with action figures.
I hate Ross too! I remember watching friends as a kid and Ross was my favourite, but on my rewatches I've started to despise him more and more. He never defended Monica when their parents were clearly favouring him over her, he was awful towards the male nanny Rachel wanted to hire, and he was honestly an awful boyfriend to baiscally all his partners.
Disagreeing with someones spiritual beliefs whn they're clearly as craxy as Phoebes (and often risk doing harm to others like with the whole "this cat is my mom"-thing) is okay. Letting someone believe whatever they want to quietly is something entirely different. I agree with the thing about Rachels job though.
I think the writers pushed too far to make Ross a bad guy so it was easier to have them break up. During season 1 and 2 Ross was a nicer guy. And Rachel is quite spoiled, she destroyed Ross's relationship with Julie, Emily and Mona. They're terrible to each other yet perfect for each other too.
@@heavyblue4985 He never took Robins no seriously for example. That's a huge boundary issue (he also stole the instrument thing in the first episode for her if I remember correctly. Another boundary violation and also criminal). He was super preoccupied and possessive of her throughout the whole series. The guy had a very overbearing, stalker-like personality in general as far as I remember and always thought he knew what's best for other people, not respecting their own opinion.
Oh yes, I've been lucky enough to chat with Bruce Timm and Paul Dini (Harley's creators) and they meant for Harley and Joker to be obviously toxic. It was never supposed to be romantic in the slightest. I'm glad they've kept them broken up in the comics, Birds of Prey, and the Harley animated series.
@@AC-ze1nh Except that completely contradicts her character. Timm and Dini's clear intentions behind her in Batman TAS was that she is so obsessed and drawn to Mr J that she cannot ever truly escape him no matter how hard she tried. That was evident more so in Season 4 where even though she starts off living with Poison Ivy, she ends up crawling back to him because she feels he is the only one that gives her purpose. The whole idea is she is so damaged and traumatised on a psychological level that she finds it impossible to let him go. That's what that great episode of her origins is all about towards the end of series is all about where she is giving therapy to the Joker as Dr Harleen Quinzel until the tables reverse and Harley Quinn is born.
I loved Harley and Batman in that ONE episode haha. I wish she would have ended up with him. Joker was so unhinged and abusive... hated it. I know Harley could be that way too but it was usually in response to his violence.
Id say rugsweeping and stonewalling. I stone wall (trying not to) but when I've been able to calm down I want to talk it out and solve it instead of moving on. I just need to process my feelings for a second.
@@preston6618 wrong. You should never ever sacrifice your dreams or job for anyone. If someone is right for you they'll support you and your dreams. If anyone asks you to throw away your source of income or happiness, it's a major red flag
This was awesome, the best one so far. 5:26 Rachel: "But, I told you that I didn't have the time," and Ross: "Yeah, well, you never have the time," are too different conversations. They're both right, but not on the same emotional level. Ross should not expect to have his required, long, drawn-out, personal conversation that he's talking about at Rachel's workplace, especially when she's under a real time crunch. 20:02 Excellent observation.
Yess! Exactly, everyone in the comments was bringing up past mistakes of the characters but in reality ross was being inappropriate. if he wanted to do something nice, drop off food with flowers or some chocolates. Dont interupt her already busy workday, its not professional and not as thoughtful as people would think 🤦🏽♀️
Your observation that they are two different conversations is incredibly sharp and true. And it's very important to be able to distinguish that! Rachel just wanted to communicate that that particular moment wasn't a good moment, while Ross suddenly opened the conversation about her availability in general. Which is not a topic to bring up _especially_ when your partner just said they don't have the time XD
Uncommon opinion: Ross and Rachel's relationship was toxic. Everyone I tried to say that to, they would respond with "What? I would LOVE a relationship like Ross and Rachel's!" That always would make me nauseous
Rachel explicitly told Ross that she didn't want him to date anyone else, cause she wanted him to be there for her and the baby 24/7. He agreed to this (which I think is the right thing to do) but that's why he is outraged that she is all of a sudden out having fun meeting people when he's actively putting his life on hold for her
Umm nope, he didn’t ask her not to date. It’s so paternalistic to say I’m taking care of the baby and you’re out with guys? Um she’s taking care of the baby too and you are the father!!!
@@violettababenko4847 I didn't say he asked her to not date, but if she asks him to be at her beck and call 24/7, I personally think it's fair to expect the same both ways, not one side getting preferential treatment. Not saying she shouldn't date, just saying that she's the one who asked him not to, so at least she shouldn't be angry when he calls her out on doing what she asked him not to do. Either none of them should date or both of them should have the option, that's my opinion. There is no need to make this a gender issue, it's just about being upfront. I'm not arguing that she's not taking care of the baby btw, they both are. Just want things to be equal.
On a similar note: it would be interesting to hear about the therapists' view of Normal People, how Connell and Marianne develop a co-dependent, almost symbiotic relationship
I always thought who cares if they were or weren't on a break. That same night HE SLEEPS WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!?! even if they were broken up and rachel believed they were too, she'd still be pissed, cause a couple hours after they broke up he slept with someone else
@@csillakaszas7285 There were a lot of factors in that as the people in the video explain. Ross did it as he was in pain and needed someone. And Rachel knew exactly what she meant when she said break.
@@jmonta21 yes, I actually agree with you. Always wonder, why nobody is pointing this out. He was always jealous of Mark (and as it turns out later - for a good reason, Mark actually liked Rachel) and when he calls to apologise and make up after huge fight, Mark is there eating :)) (he obviously came so fast cuz he realized he can win Rachel when she is vulnerable and hurt by Ross, Mark is sorta sleeze ball). Ross thought she was already cheating on him with Mark. Not that this totally excuses what Ross did, but it explains it a little
I will admit Ross isn’t the greatest person around and he and Rachel weren’t good for each other; but she was just as selfish as he was. There were so many times when she meddled in his relationships and messed with his head just as soon as he was starting to get comfortable with some and over her. She was just as toxic to him as he was to her.
Ross gets all the hate because he is not as physically attractive as Rachel is. For most people, it's okay to be a terrible person if you're hot, which Rachel definitely is. 🔥
I would love to see them discuss Marshall and Lily's relationship on How I Met Your Mother!! I feel like they're an example of a healthy relationship that went through a few ups and downs at the beginning, but I'd also really like to hear their perspective on the "pause" for any argument.
Re: They didn't understand what the break means... As much as I always thought this whole thing was wrong and Ross was totally in the wrong to run into another woman's arms that night, Rachel totally meant what he thought she meant. The next morning, she wants to be his girlfriend again. They both knew "we were on a break," but I find the ultimate question is if Ross should have been with someone on the night they broke up.
Also, there was the part where Rachel invited that guy over to have someone to talk to, when Ross called. So in his defense, he mistakenly thought she was already moving on.
Konstellashon excellent point! I still blame him for his actual choices, but they are both so guilty of not communicating well over twenty whatever years as VF says. Like when she accepts no blame in the letter and wants him to accept it all before she’ll move on.
They’re both problematic. I mean I always judged Ross because I could never understand how you can say you love someone but then hook-up with someone else that SAME night just because you’re hurting? Regardless of if they actually “broke up” or not, a normal loving person doesn’t just seek out someone else the day after a break-up. But yes, Ross was clearly still in love with Rachel when he did what he did. And Rachel still loved Ross even though she threatened a break-up with him. Yes, Mark came over, but he came over as a friend and Ross chose to sleep with that girl to deliberately hurt Rachel because he thought she was sleeping with Mark.
FRIENDS is one of my favourite TV shows ever.... I love how they analysed the situation, the acting, and the context behind all of the scenes. Please do more of these videos!
In fairness to Ross, he actually gave up dating while Rachel was pregnant because she asked him to, so she did owe him the conversation of when to start dating again.
No way, I have zero empathy for Ross. He looks down on everyone, treats everyone below them, and gets upset when things don't go his way. Then manipulates everyone by being pathetic. He's awful.
@Francisco Leyva Martin Hahaha! If you're best insult is unintelligible name calling, then it 100% makes sense why you back Ross. Bahahaha. The ignorance is hilarious.
Yeah I 100% agree. It would be one thing if Ross genuinely apologized for his mistakes but he takes no accountability for his actions afterwards. It becomes the running joke in the show, “We were on a break!” He is so immature and he is a grown man. He does look down on others for sure. I also hate how the writers let him have many partners throughout the show and let Rachel only a few throughout the series when she is gorgeous and a like-able person. Her character realistically could and would have dated way more guys than Ross women and she would have been strong enough to move on. I feel like there truly are men like Ross in the world who were the nerds growing up who feel entitled to one day getting the girl of their dreams always thinking of themselves as the victim but really they are immature and selfish and that’s why women don’t want them. I also hate that they ended the show with Rachel not going to Paris which was an Incredible opportunity! To be with Ross. And all these people love this show and glorify this extremely unhealthy relationship. Monica and chandler were the way better couple of the show
@liz t Excellent points! Add Rachel's naivety about Mark, his motives and efforts to mess with her relationship with Ross to the equation too. Take for example, instead of taking Ross' warnings and that of the group seriously about Mark and stop seeing him, she went along foolhardy and neglecting her relationship with Ross on the way.
@@dvchel I never get the hate for Mark. He had a girlfriend at the time (one that Ross saw Mark with), that should have been enough to stop Ross and his jealousy. Mark never once made a move on Rachel when she was with Ross. And even if he had, it didn’t mean Rachel was going to respond to him!
I always feel very bad for people saying they look up to this relation like ..wow that is a real LOW couplegoal xD Like honnestly we all knew they would end up together but in real life ?.. They would have broke up 2 months after the end of the show lmao
I agree. I feel like too many TV shows care more about throwing in drama to keep things interesting, so Ross and Rachel being on and off all the time was to leave the audience on expectation to see them finally get together. Which, to be fair, can be entertaining to watch, but in reality, spending 10 years fighting and making up with someone without ever getting it right, sounds exhausting.
@@stephaniemasson1224 Well, it was exhausting already watching the "on- and off-relationship" going on since February, 1997. There is a reason season 8 blew new life into the show and that was Rachel and Ross getting back together with their pregnancy. Then, in season 9 and 10 the ratings took a nose dive again, because millions didn't want to see their on- and off-relationship again. Add the terribly contrived Rachel/Joey vs Ross/Charlie plot and it only added more fuel to Friends coming to an end in season 10 sooner than later. Millions still observe to this day that Rachel and Ross had so much more to give in the show. The series finale just being the tip of the iceberg for pretty much between season 4 and 10.
But basically every relationship we see as an audience is an example of a relationship. Maybe not a god one or one the writers intend us to take seriously, but a lot of people do. Just Google all the teenagers doing godawful s**t after watching Netflix's nightmare garbarge "365 Days" ...
THANK YOU, FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT. She worked hard for her dreams and just left it all for a guy that was soooo toxic, controlling, jealous, insecure, bratty, manipulative, that cheated on her (jury's still out on that) and always saw her as someone inferior.
@@estherluciano9623 a) Nah there are a bazillion people who agree with the idea that Rachel shouldnt have gotten off that plane b) I somehow doubt that Ross ever actually saw Rachel as inferior even if he did so what big deal and c) Love is blind
Clearly their relationship was unhealthy a lot/most of the time. When I was younger I shipped Ross & Rachel, but the older I got, the more I understood that Mondler was the real deal. However, David Schwimmer was PERFECT portraying Ross, he was one of the best actors on the show.
Yes monic and Chandler were very good with each other. They are very supportive of each other and unlike Ross and Rachel, they never undermine each other.
You guys need to anaylze Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Cooper. Is she not in a pseudo emotionally abusive relationship part of the time? And the double irony is that Mayim is a real scientist and Jim Parsons has got to be one of the nicest humans alive. She should know she's in a bad relationship AND her parents don't really make sense why she would stay.
Haven’t watched Big Bang theory in a while cause it always felt like trash to me and unfunny but was their anything in particular that made it an emotionally abusive relationship?
There are additional layers in that relationship in terms of Asperger’s type behaviours etc - it would be interesting to have their professional take on that
Imma Centaur omg thank you! There is NO REASON leanord and penny should be together. They bring out the worst in each other and have different goals/values.
I always looked at Ross and Rachel's relationship like the high school couple that were ALWAYS together and ALWAYS breaking up. They never seemed to STAY together or STAY apart. They could never figure it out.
ok, but was ross's picnic surprise actually a sweet surprise tho? rachel specifically said "i'm sorry ross but i don't have time, please DON'T come to my office" and he showed up anyway. even if it's an objectively sweet gesture, i'd be pretty pissed as well if someone did that to me after i told them i DID NOT want that/wasn't available at the moment.
i love that the majority of comments here truly are able to understand healthy relationshiippsss 😍 i hope y'all are in healthy relationships as well!!! ... cos im single for this reason lmaaoo, there's so much more to learn still
The reason why Ross is upset when Rachel kisses the guy on the balcony is because when she was pregnant she asked him to not see anyone else, and he agreed to stay single indefinitely.
Honestly, the way I saw that is that it was a request until the birth. Pregnant women tend to need help and they are very sensitive. But honestly they should’ve discussed it and communicated better, they were not setting themselves up for succcess st all.
Despite their feelings and love, by the middle of the series, Ross didn't understand that Rachel's job was her dream and Rachel didn't understand that she was his*. And it's interesting because it seems that Ross is looking at their relationship with rose-tinted glasses, but at Rachel herself with dark tinted glasses. Conversely, Rachel looks at Ross with rose-tinted glasses and their relationship with dark tinted glasses. I think they begin to align better in the last season and that's why they finally click. Great video! *Edit: I meant this as an implied parallel sentence -- Rachel's dream was her job and Rachel didn't understand that she as Ross's _dream_ -- as in, their priorities had different values in the seasons they were together.
I love how they are not completely bashing on Ross and Rachel because I'm sick of people just labelling them as toxic. People nowadays are so quick to label everything as healthy or toxic. You gotta understand that relationships evolve. Infact they HAVE TO keep evolving otherwise they'll fade away. Sometimes relationships have toxic starts, they have toxic moments. People have toxic moments but that doesn't mean you should dismiss them altogether and not bother.
I agree. After this video, I realized that they really needed to find a way to communicate and heal. Maybe seeing a therapist? He was able to find his dream job and himself before she had the chance to even think about providing for herself and they were on different paths. They needed time to grow alone, so they could thrive together
I also loved how they talked about the relationship. I don't think a relationship like Ross and Rachel's would have a happy ending in real life, but their problems aren't solely the responsibility of either Ross or Rachel and their problems weren't the result of Ross or Rachel being bad people. They had fundamental misunderstandings that they never fully communicated and they refused to let go and either allow their relationship to evolve or to actually move on, forever staying in the limbo of "not together but unable to fully commit to any other relationship".
There's this random kid who can't spell in this comment section just screaming at everyone who thinks Ross and Rachel are toxic. Completely ruins any mature conversation Anyways, I really never realised that Ross and Rachel were toxic, I always just saw them as a sort of "a guy who wants to spoil his girl", but I never realised that that's not how life works and that Rachel, even though wanting to be spoilt, wants to have her own life which doesn't suit Ross' neediness and possessiveness
I'd also like to add that I feel like their gernal lives are set up differently. I've worked both in fashion and museums in NYC. Rachel's career is high production, high time-commitment, and high stress. Ross' job in an non profit is more about process and is far slower pace than her job. they live 40+ hours a week in the psychological space that leads to this fight
they both act quite childish and immature when neither gets what they want, Rachel tries to sabotage ross's relationships with, Julie, bonnie, Emily and others just because she isn't with him. ross narrow-mindedly thinks that any guy who is possible date material that isn't him shouldn't be with rachel because he childishly wants the ideal relationship and doesn't understand and listen to what rachel wants.
Ross slept with someone else, was always super controlling and jealous but Rachel always wanted to screw up Ross's new relationships, like with Emily, Bonnie and Julie.
it isnt even a question of "were they on a break" but really, "Was it okay for Ross to have a one night stand and was it valid for Rachel to not forgive him"
exactly! for me, it's like they crossed the bridge with the breakup, and then Ross burnt it down with the hookup (and consequent lie) Yes, he had the right to do what he did - and so did Rachel to not get back together with him.
I think the real question is something not shown here which is all the trouble he was willing to go through in order to make sure that Rachel never found out. Had he just told her, even if he painted himself as a victim (very very drunk, in pain, clearly taken advantage of), especially if he was upfront and said he was the victim, but admitted to some blame, they could have talked it out then
@@CGZ26 Doesn't he literally tell Chandler in that episode that he is doing that so he can be the one to tell her and explain his side of the story or am I remembering that wrong?
@@RandomCarrot2806 He did, but he was very easily swayed by Chandler and Joey to not tell her. Same happened with that list of reasons to be and/or not with Julie and Rachel.
This was great but I'm surprised they skipped the part in Season 4 when Ross was about to get married and Rachel tried to stop his wedding. Also, they forgot to mention during that fight in Season 9 that they agreed not to see other people prior to that.
Couples I Would Love to See Them Analyze Like This (In this Full Video Style): 1. Brooke and Lucas (One Tree Hill) 2. Clark and Lana (Smallville) 3. Barney and Robin (HIMYM) 4. Hyde and Jackie (That’s 70 Show) 5. Dan and Blair (Gossip Girl) 6. Maya and Lucas (Girl Meets World) I picked couples that didn't end up together because I'm curious if things could have worked out between these couples and what they could have done differently.
I still don't know how much of Ross's "we were on a break" alibi stays true to what he thought "we were on a break" meant in that moment. It just seems like he's trying to cover up his impulsiveness as "premeditated action" (despite the fact that he'd been drinking).
Wow! That was a thorough breakup of their relationship when they were vulnerable in the show. I particularly liked how you guys picked up those serious moments & conversations in their relationship when they had hard times. Well done guys, gave me more perspective on how Ross and Rachel thought process was in those moments. Thanks & Cheers! Look forward to your next discussion.
I agree, but it was not necessarily homophobia, it was because his dad criticized the feminine aspects of himself. He was projecting that onto the "manny".
Ross and rachels relationship started off on a bad note. There is no way this is not toxic. Ross couldn't let go of her. He was in alter saying her name when he was supposed to say his girls name. Tht guy clearly doesn't care or check his emotions. Seemingly saying or doing things out of impulse. Rachel didn't have anyone but her friends who understood her. For her Ross was an important part of her life. So whenever he was with someone else she was scared that she wouldn't find someone. Certainly Ross wasnt the guy. It was like she settled with Ross. Ross should have checked himself nd found someone good for him who valued what he did. And so do Rachel. Shud hve gone to Paris nd had her life.
Great analysis, but I think you chose scenes that shows Ross as the bad guy, you should have analyzed the scene when she ruined his wedding, when she made him broke up with Barney and left him, and when he broke up with Julie for her and then she wasn't there, again. she literally manipulated him into breaking up with every girl but her, because she couldn't stand the idea of him being with someone else which I totally understand but the part I don't understand and find very selfish, is that she doesn't want him with someone even when she doesn't want him herself, which you should have mentioned same as you mentioned him getting mad by her kissing a guy on the balcony, it's the same dynamic, I don't want to be with you but don't also be with someone else
Ross being the one who says the wrong name and choosing to marry another woman whilst being unclear whether or not he is still in love with Rachel, and Rachel is the one who 'ruined his wedding'?
Finally someone thinks just like me!! Everyone is talking about Ross when personally I think Rachel is the bigger problem!! She is so toxic and manipulative and selfish, Ross isn't perfect either but Rachel has done horrible horrible things.
What I don’t like about Ross is how entitled he feels over Rachel, and he maintains this even after insulting, manipulating and diminishing Rachel and even after engaging and sometimes marrying other women. It’s annoying and frustrating to watch, especially after he gets Rachel in the end.
They really avoid the earlier scenes where he constantly is red-eyed jealous of Mark who is just a friend helping her. His constant possessive attitude.
Just a friend helping her???? He literally admitted he had a crush on her. Im not denying he was her friend but its really obvious he was trying to sabotage their relationship.
Mark asked her out lol and if you remember both chandler and joey said to both Rachel and Ross that a random stranger is never just nice to a girl to be friends
how to make Ross shut up in the first argument covered: ask him if being a paleontologist is just a job for him cause quite literally you can see how Ross doesn’t see Rachel as being on the same level [of importance] as him. in that argument, what i was feeling was that Rachel was his housewife of sorts and is there to serve his needs only. he was straight up devaluing Rachel’s ambitions, dreams, etc. to be someone else / more. such a shame too, i really used to like Ross till his toxic tendencies started to show up, about the time Paolo was introduced.
I hate watching Ross&Rachel videos because the debate in the comments is always crazy 😂😂 Props to Jenn and David for the break up scenes, they were very real considering it was a sitcom. I think one of the biggest issues in the first part of their relationship is the same that Ted Mosby has with Robin. Both men love the "idea" of the girls, but when the girls show their personalities, their interests or goals, and they(Ross/Ted) realize that it goes against *their own* idea of what they want in the future, it's when the problems start. Also, Ross calling her job "just a job" when she spent their entire first date in the museum because he got called in, it's really hurtful. In fact, Rachel didn't used to make fun of his job until after they broke up. Now, the second part of the relationship is a mess altogether.
Their relationship is just so dysfunctional. They lacked clear communication, neither listened to what the other wanted during critical moments. I do think Ross was in the wrong during that first scene with the picnic basket. The gesture itself is romantic, but the timing was not. I wish they had reviewed the episode where Rachel chases him to England to profess her feelings to him before his WEDDING. Honestly, I think it's strange that they attempted a friendship after the breakup. I could never do that. It's too easy to want to get back together even if you know you're not right for the other.
Incredible video. I know these scenes almost by heart due to watching them so much (we had the box sets but no cable back in the early Aughts) but these were some fresh and interesting ways to think about them!
I can't think on anything to say....Sooooo...SAVE THE USPS! BUY STAMPS! BUY ALL THE STAMPS! PROTEST REMOVAL OF MAIL BOXES! LET'S GET HIM OUT AND LIFE BACK TO NORMAL!
Can we do this again but analyze relationships where one person is pretending to be someone or something else? Like in Ever After, Maid in Manhattan, A Cinderella Story, etc.
I found their podcast after the first VF video they did and I'm so thankful! Marriage therapy radio gives great advice and now these two feel like friends of mine :)
Could anyone imagine that 23 years after Ross and Rachel broke up, we would be watching 2 relationship therapists analyze it on the internet during a pandemic?
lol jesus'
After we watched the whole TV show like a 100th times in 3-4 different platform
No because that’s a highly specific situation. You could say something like that for any situation.
Oh sure, I was expecting all of this to happen.
Of course, I’m psychic
I think Ross and Rachel were the perfect examples of what not to do in a relationship. Whereas Monica and Chandler told what to do in a relationship.
yessssss
I agree!! Through my years watching the show, I realized all of the toxicity of Ross and Rachel's relationship by seeing how Monica and Chandler were in theirs. Of course, that's not to say they were 'perfect' but what is? Hahaha.
@@EllaChant Yeah, true. Monica and Chandler made mistakes but were pretty quick to realise and accept them.
Ross and Rachel were both immature and bad at listening to each other.
Chandler and Monica communicate their insecurities with each other and fill the gaps.
Yeaaaaah
I love how these two are never afraid to disagree with each other, but always do so in a respectful and rational way. True professionals, and I can see they respect each other as such.
I mean, it would be ironic if they were constantly arguing lol
Shubham Patil it's a big yikes that you feel that way 🥴
Ava Gordy hi ava, fancy seeing u here
At first I thought you meant Ross and Rachel but you meant the couple therapists haha
blessedout Haha nah 😂
I would like to see an analysis like this on Monica and Chandler's relationship.
I have a feeling that could be much more controversial...
@@janinebraul3954 I don't think it would be controversial, I think it could either be super loved or super hated. However, I would like to see how I met your mother or the big bang theory reviewed. Imagine the chaos.
@Katherine Rinck They would probably fall asleep .... because Monica/Chandler hardly had any real or serious drama in the shape/way that it came with Rachel/Ross.
monica definitely did some very questionable things but overall it was a very healthy relationship
Me too, especially after they get married. Because after that Monica (and everyone for that matter) is super condescending towards Chandler and it really annoyed me.
Read in someone else's analysis - Ross & Rachel each grew up a spoiled child. This affect their adult relationship.
Fair points
This is SO ACCURATE
While Monica and Chandler were the sideline/ignored children
Omg I never thought of that before! That’s a great point
This is so true
“You never have the time.” They started dating when she was a waitress who hated her job, and he was a career academic. The power dynamic was in his favor. When that power dynamic began to change, he felt threatened. Add to that the jealousy issue, and the “just a job” issue. He just didn’t see her as the woman she was becoming; he only saw her as the girl he crushed over.
Literally, nothing else needs to be said. This is SPOT ON.
Very well said I absolutely HATED the fact that the series ended with her getting off the plane and giving up her dream job. They could have worked something out.
Francisco Leyva Martin u may have a different opinion but it’s her dream job personally I prefer Rachel’s job
@Francisco Leyva Martin dude, your opinion is not fact. get over it.
@Francisco Leyva Martin say it all you want, it doesnt make it true, objective fact. it's just your opinion. your opinion is real, but it's not fact or truth just bc you believe it. understand?
Give credit to David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston for portraying their characters like this.
David is a great actor. But I HATE the Ross character - he's so needy!
David Schwimmer is amazing, best actor on the show , but Ross is an unlikeable character , Jennifer Aniston is one of the best actress ever , beautiful and talented , but her better job wasn't played Rachel Green ,Rachel also was in this toxic relationship , so Jennifer and David , great actors ( even i ship David and Jennifer ) , but i appreciate more the actors than their characters
@@chantelles3641 totally right , Ross may be a jerk and problematic character , but David Schwimmer is amazing
David Schwimmer was very underrated as Ross....
Whatever it is, we always enjoy watchin friends everytime cause this is not much realistic and we ppl like to see unrealistic things cause that doesn't happen often...
The problem is that, they both got character develoment but there is nothing in the ending that actualy proves that their relationship problems can't happen again
Very well said!
Ross got not an ounce of character development. By the end of the series, he was still controlling and petty, still overly jealous of Rachel’s relationships, hiding her messages, dating and using a woman who had clear emotional problems to “get back at Rachel” for kissing Mark, etc. He was nowhere better than season 3.
I'm curious to know what character development you think they both had. I didn't see character development in Ross and I saw some in Rachel. Could someone give me examples of Ross's character development? I would love to hear the opinions of others.
@@jeteaze examples: Rachel trying to fix Ross's relationship with Mona (being selfish in their relationship was pretty defining for Rachel) and Ross helping Rachel with her brokem arm while having an important event and not whinimg about it (whining and braging was quite defining for Ross) There are little examples but i'd say the are better people than when they began
@@aa96998 Well, Ross did have some substantial character development in season 1 and 2 that was both interesting and consistent. Take for example, learning the "ropes" of being a father when he finds out his cheating ex-wife Carol is pregnant with his baby and deciding to share custody and be involved, while simultaneously going after the girl of his dreams in the name of Rachel Green and helping her settle in her new life in the Big Apple.
Then, in season 3 and beyond he was this complete different person and the constant progression/regression continued after that. That includes neglecting Rachel with his ego, arrogance and sense of self-entitlement that came out of nowhere, and then, the many divorces and breakups that came to following in season 4, 5 etc.
It is a disappointing observation and it continues to highlight where Friends itself was heading into the wrong direction. Because, season 8 did end up reviving the show for finally bringing character-driven motive back into the spotlight and writing new, interesting and fresh developments, in addition to a different type of comedy that was less cartoonish.
That was superinteresting. I would also love to see a video where they discuss Monica and Chandler's relationship and why it worked. Because they are also very difficult people who have had maaany crappy relationships before they fell in love with each other
Tell me about it I really hope they do one in the near future because that’s something I’ve been wondering too
Same here. Monica and Chandler are my most favourite couple of all time, and I would love to see their relationship discussed by these two experts
Agreed but I think in many instances in the series we see Chandler and Monica addressing the issues they had with each other. Also they did show to support each other even in tough moment and not just bailing. Chandler was jealous of her ex not a coworker. And so did Monica she didn't jeopardize his career because she felt insecure. It is shown that even tho they had a friend group of six they managed to keep their relationship between them and not involve the others around their decision about what they will do. Remember when everyone told them not to move and it was bad and what is gonna happen in their friendship if they move so Chandler lied that they didn't get the house to get them off. And later he told Monica that he lied because they got the house and they didn't have to deal with their friends being selfish
Yessssss
marvelka94 Janice 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Must be weird having a relationship with a relationship therapist
My wife is a lawyer that does domestic violence protection orders...
The risk is actually that they let you get away with being a lousy partner because they’re used to seeing things that are so much worse.
I had a relationship with a communications teacher. It’s not the same but similar. It was the best relationship I’ve ever had. He taught me so much about myself and my emotions, how to process them, and how to communicate needs. It was amazing. I became a much better version of myself thanks to his help.
I would love a relationship with a therapist.
@@Justanotherconsumer oh my! That's so deep
That would be like having a relationship with your mom 😖😂
jeteaze Wow that sounds amazing! I would have thought they’d be arrogant or controlling about what they know.
I love how invested we are in a fictional relationship
That pretty much sums up the traits of our species
It allows us to analyze real relationship issues and what makes relationships fall apart without having to feel like we're being judgmental of real people.
@Gabby Cepeda I love how we human species continue to fall for the _"we were on a break"_ catchphrase. Because it was *never* about cheating, but rather Rachel being angry at Ross for sleeping with someone else when they were broken up. Because, later in the season 3 finale she even admits that she hadn't stopped loving him. Then, in season 4 and beyond the catchphrase gets an entire new twist and meaning. Take for example, when Ross' character says to their daughter: _"no matter what your mommy says - we were on a break, yes we were, yes we were."_ Pointing out the context that had changed to whether they were broken up at all, even though in the breakup episode Rachel clearly admitted they were.
Because this happens in movies, happens in real life, happens in TNT 🤣
The horrible parts of fictional people teaches people about undesirable traits. The good parts of them. How we should be. It is important to be invested in them as humans (to a point).
i do love ross and rachel, but mondler were definitely the best couple in the whole show
Mondler, hilarious. Sounds like the human version of mongrel; something bastardized that was constructed in a lab somewhere. They were the best couple that felt like a real couple and they seemed legitimately funny rather than forced.
@Molly Misandrist Chonica Binger
@Molly Misandrist How about Chanica, Mondler. Then it sounds like they were spliced AND in some sci-fi movie. Although, I like your Chonica better. It sounds like something went wrong in the splicing. Chonica Mondler.
Monica often puts Chandler down, I dont see it as a healthy relationship
@@therockingvolbeat3630 That's true, now that I think about it.
when he pointed out that “i can’t do this anymore” REALLY should be “i can’t do this, like this anymore”... this is why therapy or just a simple conversation with someone w an outside pov is genuinely sooo important. bc ending something & fixing something are completely different
That's such a great point. I read today "don't make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions"...which I think ties in with your point.
It wasn't just that Ross wasn't listening to Rachel when she said she didn't have time/ten minutes, it was that he wasn't supportive or understanding of her finally getting a great job, that excites her and that she is really good at
It's ironic because when he's making that pro and con list about her one of the cons is "just a waitress"...so clearly he thinks having a purposeful job is important but...
That always bugged me. Especially since he expected then to be supportive of his career.
@@gllyflower Thanks for pointing that out! Great detail.
And she had just taken over Mark's position with Sophie taking over hers as the second assistant. It's understandable that she didn't have time all week when she is the more experienced of the two. Sophie probably didn't have enough on the job training to pick up the slack
E) All of the above...
They should have analyzed the one where she flies to London, then he says her name. Or where she tells him to stop dating but he is with Mona.
She told him to stop dating when he went out with the girl who works at the baby store. After he was with Mona.
@@nasrisyahaniahmadlutfi1104 Oh yeah!!! That one too. I think Rachel was more selfish than Ross. If that is possible.
MacClovia Solis I think they're both toxic.
Agree, but Ross wasn't dating Mona when Rachel said that, she was at the end of her pregnancy and the relationship with Mona was over months ago. Rachel and Ross are kind of terrible to each other yet perfect for each other too.
@@nasrisyahaniahmadlutfi1104 he had broken up with Mona before meeting the girl at the baby store.
Blah I can’t watch friends anymore because their relationship is so outdated. He is so controlling and emotionally abusive. I do like Richard and Monica’s relationship and there are parts of Monica and Chandler’s relationship I like too. The difference is that Chandler is aware of Monica’s insecurities and works with her and helps her out, supports her, and it’s sweet.
Exactly! Monica and Chandler grew together, supported each other, had arguments and disagreements but talked them out and were a healthy and realistic relationship imo.
Why is the blame always on Ross? She's emotionally manipulative af and goes back to him whenever he's in a happy relationship with someone else. She loves knowing she has control over him, too.
hollywoodshopaholic I guess he’s a bit of a showboater at times that overshadows Rachel’s behaviour a tad. She can be more logical but he’s so insecure about his dating life that he will do anything to rub it in her face and belittled her when he has someone on the hook in front of her. If you listen to any argument he’s in there’s normally a sense of undermining the other person and picking at their weaknesses. It’s always blaming the other party which is why Ross is gonna be hated more
@@cassoIa I get what you mean about Ross being more over-the-top but never picked up on him belittling others, or at least any more so than Rachel. He certainly argues to win but generally by picking holes in other people's logic or intelligence (which, let's face it, is kind of the point of an argument). Rachel often hits below-the-belt when fighting with people and criticizes them for very shallow reasons, so it's kind of a wash for me. Agree to disagree, I guess :)
@@hollywoodshopaholic yup. She was childish, selfish, bratty, spoilt and inmature. Both of them were super toxic and damaging.
Epilogue: They end up splitting up once again and Emma grows up to be emotionally damaged just like Chandler
Francisco Leyva Martin what?
And Emma sees Chandler more as a father because he gives her good advice and understands her pain :(
food Even though we only got to see Chandler preparing to be a father, I think its clear he’d be a MUCH better father than Ross
Francisco Leyva Martin can you shut up no one is talking to you LMFAOO “fake and fake” hur hur hur
food I can’t believe we were wrong this guy just proved that apparently Emma hate chandle :(
Honestly another part of the problem is Ross doesn’t actually value Rachel’s job. Her dream career is in fashion but Ross doesn’t think a job in fashion is a “real job” (it’s mentioned in a few episodes around the break one). That’s going to be a source of tension. Ironically Ross is also the person who get’s ultra defensive over the validity of his own profession whenever somebody makes light of it.
Honestly I don’t see them ever working as a couple. He’s had a crush on her for ages, Rachel’s never going to live up to the version of herself that Ross has a crush on because it’s an idealised version of herself that lives in his head and people aren’t perfect. Even without any other glaring problems in their relationship, this would probably doom them.
It wasn't so much that he didn't value her job, he didn't want to have to share her with her new job. Which is why he would actively devalue it.
The Day Dreaming Owl The one where he goes with her to a fashion lecture. When Rachel was annoyed he went to sleep, Ross responded that he couldn’t believe the guy talked about a specific style of dress for about an hour. Like talking about fashion for any length of time was boring and not valuable.
@@jessicamarshall1975 Okay and?
People always forgot that everyone undervalues Ross love for dinausor since he a was kid. Of course, he is defensive about it.
Louis-Stéphane Ross knows what it’s like to have people question the validity of his passion but he turns around and does the same thing to Rachel. That’s what I meant.
I think how their relationship is at the end is awful too. Ross does everything he can so that Rachel doesn't move to Paris for her dream job then tells her how he feels just as she gets on the plane so she doesn't know how to feel. In the future Rachel would resent Ross for not letting her go to Paris and try out her dream.
Dreams are overrated AF anyways
No they won’t. I think Jennifer Aniston understands Rachel better than anyone that’s why she pursuaded the writers to write a better ending.
Mona Bohamad2 nah dreams > relationship anytime. You can always find another partner but you won’t always get another shot at your dream.
Politely disagree . Rachel is an adult and can make her own decisions. We don’t know the exact reasons why she decided to stay, but she had them. They have a child together perhaps having the opportunity to raise Emma in a loving household with parents who love each other was her highest priority? Remember Rachel grew up in an affluent household with parents in a loveless marriage. For all we know, a stable family life is a more important want for her.
Best Regards,
The show intended to show that they do Move to Paris actually
Two people with very different personalities at different points in their lives. Ross is established, while Rach is trying hard to establish her career.
Right, I think a lot of people really gloss over how significant a problem that is, and why Ross's behavior is so inappropriate. Ross worked for years on his doctorate. Can you imagine if he had a girlfriend doing this crazy clingy stuff to him while he's prepping for exams? All that chaos and the constant mental accountability that you have to balance and stay on top of, and then there's this partner who literally cannot give you space to succeed for the time it takes. It demonstrates how much Ross literally does not care about Rachel's investment in her future if it inconveniences him.
Chelsea T. Mona was the best. Even when Rachel was pregnant Ross was still wooing women.
@@vishuyadav8186 She really was incredibly understanding. Didn't Ross dump her because she made Christmas cards that featured them as a couple?
This. The latter point in particularly problematic, most people should take this into account when finding a suitable partner they can live and grow together with.
Chelsea T. Yeah exactly. Also it was Mona who came looking for Ross. It rarely happens that a beautiful girl is trying to find someone in a big city.
I think Ross isn’t understanding that this is the first time in Rachel’s life that she’s realized she can do something for herself, her first career oriented job that actually meant something.
what does it matter whether or not he understood? people do crazy irrational weird stuff when they're in love Lol
Mona Bohamad2 it does matter LMAO otherwise you can't really say you are in love when being in love and in a relationship doesn't mean to have things just go your way and according to only your feelings. There's someone else there to consider and be supportive of. If not, that's not really love, that's probably just obsession or fear of being alone lol
Maria Molina Rachel was like a bird for Ross. Just like people love adore their Bird and feed them with so much love but they completely ignore that the bird wants to fly too.
Mona Bohamad2 that’s what a lot of abusive partners say
Francisco Leyva Martin I know he wasn’t abusive. I just meant that justifying crazy, irrational actions by saying “I’m in love” isn’t always right.
My biggest problem with this episode and the story line is the fact that there’s no way that Joey and Chandler would have left Ross drunk at the bar. It was 100% in conflict with their characters.
Good point
Ross left with the Xerox girl, and Joey and Chandler couldn't find him, nor was Ross that drunk. He starts making out with her after only a couple beers, still being very aware of his surroundings. This is just my reading of the incident.
And they were also hitting on the xerox girl, how could they not be paying attention to them? That makes no sense
@@brendatomines8171 The Xerox girl clearly didn’t have any interest in them. It was logical that they didn’t hog her the whole night. Plus Chandler was the one who told Ross to go talk to Rachel, and they told Ross that when they didn’t see him anymore, they assumed he was with Rachel. Which was, again, logical if they expected him to go talk to her.
@@Olivia_NeumannA "couple" is not that drunk? How do you know Ross's alcohol intake?
Next relationship analysis : Dwight and Jim
You’d need a series to break down that dynamic
Yes please!!!
LOL pleeeeease
😂😂😂
YES!
"Ross is playing a game ... He always wants Rachel's attention"
Yesssss. This is so true.
When Ross brings Rachel a picnic at lunch, he did that out of jealousy, not just actually because he wanted to see her and bring her lunch
Thank you. They didnt even watch the lead up to scenes. It was almost like watching out of context
Yeah, but she was just as jealous. Almost every time he tried to move on she got jealous and possessive and tried to ruin it. At times she didn't want him but didnt want anyone else to have him.
@Aisling.. I don't think so.. he gave the earlier gifts out of jealousy when Mark still worked with her.. he brought the picnic basket and stuff out of genuine love and affection to celebrate their anniversary..
Mark left the job before this happened
Exactly. It was an attempt to control and possess her, not to be sweet. It wasn't just jealousy about Mark. It was jealousy that her life didn't revolve around him. He was awful.
Let's be honest no one would date Ross in real life. Even if someone did it won't last long. He is immature and over bearing and selfish.
😂😂
facts
How?
You're describing 99% of the people who date, Tinderwise.
I would date him...he's passionate and caring...but you're right,that relationship wouldn't last either...he will show his true self, become obsessive and needy bcoz he still got issues with his ex wife...
Are we really acting like Ross gifting her that picnic basket was a nice gesture? It was just out of jealousy lmao
wasn't she jealous too
@@user-sg4ov7ng4h that doesn't negate the fact that Ross did that out of jealousy.
He did not do that out of jealousy. Mark had already quit the job for a better one. He brought that basket because it was their anniversary.
@@pbsrinidhi lol no he did it to mark his territory, I see right through that
@@desiraesherwood that was before, when he went there with gifts and sent a band. Yes, he was jealous but on their anniversary he just wanted to be with his girlfriend.
I know a lot of Friends fans are going to hate me but I hated Ross. For one, he dismisses Rachel's job not once but twice when she got Louis Vuitton's job in France. Always trying to sabotage her dating life. Second, Ross always disagreeing with Phoebe's spiritual beliefs because there is only one ideal way of thinking. Third, marrying Emily when he clearly still loved Rachel as if she was second best. Fourth, and even though this was the 90's just the whole ordeal with his ex-wife. Ross always puts himself superior to other women and always cries as the victim. I think there was something that I read that said, if Ross was never Monica's brother Carol would have gotten the group after their divorce.
Edit: More stuff that he did. Never standing up for Monica between her and her parents. Ross writing a pros and cons list about if he should date Julie or Rachel (parts of which was also about their physical appearance). Ross not telling Mona he was living with Rachel. Ross creating, "I hate Rachel club" when they were in High School. Ross being rude to the male nanny because he was a guy. Ross also not letting his son play with dolls and instead forced him to play with action figures.
I hate Ross too! I remember watching friends as a kid and Ross was my favourite, but on my rewatches I've started to despise him more and more. He never defended Monica when their parents were clearly favouring him over her, he was awful towards the male nanny Rachel wanted to hire, and he was honestly an awful boyfriend to baiscally all his partners.
I’ve never liked Ross, even as a kid I couldn’t stand him.
Disagreeing with someones spiritual beliefs whn they're clearly as craxy as Phoebes (and often risk doing harm to others like with the whole "this cat is my mom"-thing) is okay. Letting someone believe whatever they want to quietly is something entirely different.
I agree with the thing about Rachels job though.
I think the writers pushed too far to make Ross a bad guy so it was easier to have them break up. During season 1 and 2 Ross was a nicer guy. And Rachel is quite spoiled, she destroyed Ross's relationship with Julie, Emily and Mona. They're terrible to each other yet perfect for each other too.
So many points can be made about all the other friends too and how they were not likeable either.
Okay when are we going to get a full season of friends therapy commentary
I would watch it
Francisco Leyva Martin what is your deal troll?
ross is toxic, but no one is more toxic than ted mosby.
How? Can you elaborate
Do you think so? I do not like Ted Mosby, but I think he’s way nicer than Ross.
I've always thought this and im glad someone else thinks that too
How is Ted toxic?
@@heavyblue4985 He never took Robins no seriously for example. That's a huge boundary issue (he also stole the instrument thing in the first episode for her if I remember correctly. Another boundary violation and also criminal). He was super preoccupied and possessive of her throughout the whole series. The guy had a very overbearing, stalker-like personality in general as far as I remember and always thought he knew what's best for other people, not respecting their own opinion.
I wanna see them do Harley and The Joker so that some of y’all will finally get how not cute and unromantic.
Oh yes, I've been lucky enough to chat with Bruce Timm and Paul Dini (Harley's creators) and they meant for Harley and Joker to be obviously toxic. It was never supposed to be romantic in the slightest. I'm glad they've kept them broken up in the comics, Birds of Prey, and the Harley animated series.
+
@@AC-ze1nh Except that completely contradicts her character. Timm and Dini's clear intentions behind her in Batman TAS was that she is so obsessed and drawn to Mr J that she cannot ever truly escape him no matter how hard she tried. That was evident more so in Season 4 where even though she starts off living with Poison Ivy, she ends up crawling back to him because she feels he is the only one that gives her purpose. The whole idea is she is so damaged and traumatised on a psychological level that she finds it impossible to let him go. That's what that great episode of her origins is all about towards the end of series is all about where she is giving therapy to the Joker as Dr Harleen Quinzel until the tables reverse and Harley Quinn is born.
@@taliamason7986 yeah that's toxic, she was obsessed with him and excused his abusive behevior
I loved Harley and Batman in that ONE episode haha. I wish she would have ended up with him. Joker was so unhinged and abusive... hated it. I know Harley could be that way too but it was usually in response to his violence.
So stonewalling is what it is when my husband just walks out of the room and next time he comes back in it is like the conversation never happened?
Yes
That would drive Beatrix Kiddo level insane
Could also be gaslighting or rug sweeping if you want other language to look up. And knowing those help tremendously.
@@djawnsjhilson218 rugsweeping.... that sounds more akin to his mindset usually
Id say rugsweeping and stonewalling. I stone wall (trying not to) but when I've been able to calm down I want to talk it out and solve it instead of moving on. I just need to process my feelings for a second.
Imagine if Rachel turned to Ross and said its just a job
She'd be the "crazy" or "hysterical" girlfriend. For sure.
She is the "crazy girlfriend" already.
If she did, it will be justified. You never pick a job over the person you love.
@@preston6618 wrong. You should never ever sacrifice your dreams or job for anyone. If someone is right for you they'll support you and your dreams. If anyone asks you to throw away your source of income or happiness, it's a major red flag
@@anjab-1769 but she is not a great girlfriend , none of them , they were toxic for each other and the others
This was awesome, the best one so far.
5:26 Rachel: "But, I told you that I didn't have the time," and Ross: "Yeah, well, you never have the time," are too different conversations. They're both right, but not on the same emotional level. Ross should not expect to have his required, long, drawn-out, personal conversation that he's talking about at Rachel's workplace, especially when she's under a real time crunch.
20:02 Excellent observation.
Yess! Exactly, everyone in the comments was bringing up past mistakes of the characters but in reality ross was being inappropriate. if he wanted to do something nice, drop off food with flowers or some chocolates. Dont interupt her already busy workday, its not professional and not as thoughtful as people would think 🤦🏽♀️
Your observation that they are two different conversations is incredibly sharp and true. And it's very important to be able to distinguish that! Rachel just wanted to communicate that that particular moment wasn't a good moment, while Ross suddenly opened the conversation about her availability in general. Which is not a topic to bring up _especially_ when your partner just said they don't have the time XD
Uncommon opinion: Ross and Rachel's relationship was toxic. Everyone I tried to say that to, they would respond with "What? I would LOVE a relationship like Ross and Rachel's!" That always would make me nauseous
that is quite possibly the most common opinion in the history of the world
@@imsadlol4528 you’d be surprised
@Francisco Leyva Martin Oh god, get over your weird love in with ross who is fictional on every reply you weirdo
That should be a more popular opinion. It was definitely a toxic relationship
I agree it was super Toxic
Rachel explicitly told Ross that she didn't want him to date anyone else, cause she wanted him to be there for her and the baby 24/7. He agreed to this (which I think is the right thing to do) but that's why he is outraged that she is all of a sudden out having fun meeting people when he's actively putting his life on hold for her
Well said.
You dropped this 👑
That's exacly what I was thinking, that's why he got so angry when that, although he didn't manage well 😂😂
Umm nope, he didn’t ask her not to date. It’s so paternalistic to say I’m taking care of the baby and you’re out with guys? Um she’s taking care of the baby too and you are the father!!!
@@violettababenko4847 I didn't say he asked her to not date, but if she asks him to be at her beck and call 24/7, I personally think it's fair to expect the same both ways, not one side getting preferential treatment. Not saying she shouldn't date, just saying that she's the one who asked him not to, so at least she shouldn't be angry when he calls her out on doing what she asked him not to do. Either none of them should date or both of them should have the option, that's my opinion. There is no need to make this a gender issue, it's just about being upfront. I'm not arguing that she's not taking care of the baby btw, they both are. Just want things to be equal.
On a similar note: it would be interesting to hear about the therapists' view of Normal People, how Connell and Marianne develop a co-dependent, almost symbiotic relationship
Omg, yess!
YES, THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA
YESS
I always thought who cares if they were or weren't on a break. That same night HE SLEEPS WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!?! even if they were broken up and rachel believed they were too, she'd still be pissed, cause a couple hours after they broke up he slept with someone else
@Francisco Leyva Martin you should hone your skills in rhetoric, because that's not how you argue.
also: yes.
@@csillakaszas7285 There were a lot of factors in that as the people in the video explain. Ross did it as he was in pain and needed someone. And Rachel knew exactly what she meant when she said break.
Yes but he believes she’s doing the same thing. Mark answered the phone when he called. He thought she was moving on that night too.
He was drunk.
@@jmonta21 yes, I actually agree with you. Always wonder, why nobody is pointing this out. He was always jealous of Mark (and as it turns out later - for a good reason, Mark actually liked Rachel) and when he calls to apologise and make up after huge fight, Mark is there eating :)) (he obviously came so fast cuz he realized he can win Rachel when she is vulnerable and hurt by Ross, Mark is sorta sleeze ball). Ross thought she was already cheating on him with Mark. Not that this totally excuses what Ross did, but it explains it a little
I will admit Ross isn’t the greatest person around and he and Rachel weren’t good for each other; but she was just as selfish as he was. There were so many times when she meddled in his relationships and messed with his head just as soon as he was starting to get comfortable with some and over her. She was just as toxic to him as he was to her.
Exactly! Rachel was not better but yet Ross gets all hate. Lol
thank you. they showed scenes where only ross was bad, but Rachel was equally bad
Ross gets all the hate because he is not as physically attractive as Rachel is. For most people, it's okay to be a terrible person if you're hot, which Rachel definitely is. 🔥
Please do Lily and Marshall (HIMYM).
yesssssssss
I hated Lily
Ted and Robin 😒😒
@@K1ng1995 Wait, me too... no one else sees how selfish lily is!!
Lily is toxic to everyone ... she wants to be the center of attenion
They’re cutting Ross way too much slack.
Yes
agreed. i felt kinda bad for him too when he tried to surprise rachel, but he just refuses to listen
I would love to see them discuss Marshall and Lily's relationship on How I Met Your Mother!! I feel like they're an example of a healthy relationship that went through a few ups and downs at the beginning, but I'd also really like to hear their perspective on the "pause" for any argument.
I’m a single person, but it’s so interesting to hear this stuff and to apply some of the issues to my close platonic relationships. Taking notes!
Re: They didn't understand what the break means... As much as I always thought this whole thing was wrong and Ross was totally in the wrong to run into another woman's arms that night, Rachel totally meant what he thought she meant. The next morning, she wants to be his girlfriend again. They both knew "we were on a break," but I find the ultimate question is if Ross should have been with someone on the night they broke up.
Also, there was the part where Rachel invited that guy over to have someone to talk to, when Ross called. So in his defense, he mistakenly thought she was already moving on.
Konstellashon excellent point! I still blame him for his actual choices, but they are both so guilty of not communicating well over twenty whatever years as VF says. Like when she accepts no blame in the letter and wants him to accept it all before she’ll move on.
They’re both problematic. I mean I always judged Ross because I could never understand how you can say you love someone but then hook-up with someone else that SAME night just because you’re hurting? Regardless of if they actually “broke up” or not, a normal loving person doesn’t just seek out someone else the day after a break-up. But yes, Ross was clearly still in love with Rachel when he did what he did. And Rachel still loved Ross even though she threatened a break-up with him. Yes, Mark came over, but he came over as a friend and Ross chose to sleep with that girl to deliberately hurt Rachel because he thought she was sleeping with Mark.
Ross is an infant, hence all the puppy dog eyes, pouting, and whining. He's adorable, but he's definitely emotionally stunted.
CNoelle agreed!
FRIENDS is one of my favourite TV shows ever.... I love how they analysed the situation, the acting, and the context behind all of the scenes. Please do more of these videos!
In fairness to Ross, he actually gave up dating while Rachel was pregnant because she asked him to, so she did owe him the conversation of when to start dating again.
That's the bare minimum of not being a shithead.
No way, I have zero empathy for Ross. He looks down on everyone, treats everyone below them, and gets upset when things don't go his way. Then manipulates everyone by being pathetic. He's awful.
@Francisco Leyva Martin Hahaha what are you even trying to say?
@Francisco Leyva Martin Hahaha! If you're best insult is unintelligible name calling, then it 100% makes sense why you back Ross. Bahahaha. The ignorance is hilarious.
Monica is pretty similar, too. Their parents didn't exactly do a great job.
@@janinebraul3954 Yes!!!! 100% agree.
Yeah I 100% agree. It would be one thing if Ross genuinely apologized for his mistakes but he takes no accountability for his actions afterwards. It becomes the running joke in the show, “We were on a break!” He is so immature and he is a grown man. He does look down on others for sure. I also hate how the writers let him have many partners throughout the show and let Rachel only a few throughout the series when she is gorgeous and a like-able person. Her character realistically could and would have dated way more guys than Ross women and she would have been strong enough to move on. I feel like there truly are men like Ross in the world who were the nerds growing up who feel entitled to one day getting the girl of their dreams always thinking of themselves as the victim but really they are immature and selfish and that’s why women don’t want them. I also hate that they ended the show with Rachel not going to Paris which was an Incredible opportunity! To be with Ross. And all these people love this show and glorify this extremely unhealthy relationship. Monica and chandler were the way better couple of the show
I was always on Rachel’s side on this. But listening to their analysis made me realize they were both at fault.
@liz t Excellent points! Add Rachel's naivety about Mark, his motives and efforts to mess with her relationship with Ross to the equation too. Take for example, instead of taking Ross' warnings and that of the group seriously about Mark and stop seeing him, she went along foolhardy and neglecting her relationship with Ross on the way.
@@dvchel I never get the hate for Mark. He had a girlfriend at the time (one that Ross saw Mark with), that should have been enough to stop Ross and his jealousy. Mark never once made a move on Rachel when she was with Ross. And even if he had, it didn’t mean Rachel was going to respond to him!
I always feel very bad for people saying they look up to this relation like ..wow that is a real LOW couplegoal xD
Like honnestly we all knew they would end up together but in real life ?.. They would have broke up 2 months after the end of the show lmao
Ross and Rachel were for the audience, not an example of a relationship.
I agree. I feel like too many TV shows care more about throwing in drama to keep things interesting, so Ross and Rachel being on and off all the time was to leave the audience on expectation to see them finally get together. Which, to be fair, can be entertaining to watch, but in reality, spending 10 years fighting and making up with someone without ever getting it right, sounds exhausting.
@@stephaniemasson1224 it is. Communication is key.
@@stephaniemasson1224 Well, it was exhausting already watching the "on- and off-relationship" going on since February, 1997. There is a reason season 8 blew new life into the show and that was Rachel and Ross getting back together with their pregnancy. Then, in season 9 and 10 the ratings took a nose dive again, because millions didn't want to see their on- and off-relationship again. Add the terribly contrived Rachel/Joey vs Ross/Charlie plot and it only added more fuel to Friends coming to an end in season 10 sooner than later. Millions still observe to this day that Rachel and Ross had so much more to give in the show. The series finale just being the tip of the iceberg for pretty much between season 4 and 10.
But basically every relationship we see as an audience is an example of a relationship. Maybe not a god one or one the writers intend us to take seriously, but a lot of people do. Just Google all the teenagers doing godawful s**t after watching Netflix's nightmare garbarge "365 Days" ...
These two do a really good job. Balanced, reasonable, and courteous in disagreement.
I just think that she shouldn't have gotten off the plane
THANK YOU, FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT. She worked hard for her dreams and just left it all for a guy that was soooo toxic, controlling, jealous, insecure, bratty, manipulative, that cheated on her (jury's still out on that) and always saw her as someone inferior.
@@estherluciano9623 a) Nah there are a bazillion people who agree with the idea that Rachel shouldnt have gotten off that plane b) I somehow doubt that Ross ever actually saw Rachel as inferior even if he did so what big deal and c) Love is blind
correct
Esther Luciano they're both toxic and jealous and insecure and bratty and manipulative. That's the problem.
@@nasrisyahaniahmadlutfi1104 yup
Clearly their relationship was unhealthy a lot/most of the time.
When I was younger I shipped Ross & Rachel, but the older I got, the more I understood that Mondler was the real deal.
However, David Schwimmer was PERFECT portraying Ross, he was one of the best actors on the show.
Yes monic and Chandler were very good with each other. They are very supportive of each other and unlike Ross and Rachel, they never undermine each other.
They should do also an analysis of Monica's and Chandlers relationship
You guys need to anaylze Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Cooper. Is she not in a pseudo emotionally abusive relationship part of the time?
And the double irony is that Mayim is a real scientist and Jim Parsons has got to be one of the nicest humans alive. She should know she's in a bad relationship AND her parents don't really make sense why she would stay.
This.
Haven’t watched Big Bang theory in a while cause it always felt like trash to me and unfunny but was their anything in particular that made it an emotionally abusive relationship?
There are additional layers in that relationship in terms of Asperger’s type behaviours etc - it would be interesting to have their professional take on that
I like them better than Leonard and Penny...
Imma Centaur omg thank you! There is NO REASON leanord and penny should be together. They bring out the worst in each other and have different goals/values.
This recommendation is unrelated but please do a review on Meredith and Derek in 'Grey's Anatomy'!
Oh i'd love to see that one!
Omg, also a train wreck! They’re just as bad as Rachel and Ross. I don’t want any of them to be together
Omg yasssssssss
Now Monica and Chandler!!!
They had much healthier relationship
They weren't good for each other.
Kuldeep Kashyap 🙌 They were so toxic.
Oh no, I won't change your mind. They were a TERRIBLE COUPLE.
What does it matter Lol
Probably cuz they were fictional and a part of a sitcom made to make people laugh Lol
@@monabohamad2242 all of us have real life examples of couples like them
I always looked at Ross and Rachel's relationship like the high school couple that were ALWAYS together and ALWAYS breaking up. They never seemed to STAY together or STAY apart. They could never figure it out.
ok, but was ross's picnic surprise actually a sweet surprise tho? rachel specifically said "i'm sorry ross but i don't have time, please DON'T come to my office" and he showed up anyway. even if it's an objectively sweet gesture, i'd be pretty pissed as well if someone did that to me after i told them i DID NOT want that/wasn't available at the moment.
i love that the majority of comments here truly are able to understand healthy relationshiippsss 😍 i hope y'all are in healthy relationships as well!!! ...
cos im single for this reason lmaaoo, there's so much more to learn still
The reason why Ross is upset when Rachel kisses the guy on the balcony is because when she was pregnant she asked him to not see anyone else, and he agreed to stay single indefinitely.
Thats on him
Honestly, the way I saw that is that it was a request until the birth. Pregnant women tend to need help and they are very sensitive. But honestly they should’ve discussed it and communicated better, they were not setting themselves up for succcess st all.
Ross was a toddler.
So was Rachel. She was spoiles, selfish, bratty and inmature. They were both REALLY TOXIC.
@Francisco Leyva Martin no ❣
Francisco Leyva Martin try improving your english grammar first maybe
so was Rachel though, and a narcissist
They were both just toxic towards each other. They both play with each other's feelings.
Both of them had very toxic behaviors, BOTH.
Ross and Rachel are quite similar in certain personality traits: self-involved, spoiled, looking down on other people.
Ok ok ok ok, but this is so professional and brilliant and talented acting, that i sometimes i think this was real
Lol when they cut in "Pivot!"
Despite their feelings and love, by the middle of the series, Ross didn't understand that Rachel's job was her dream and Rachel didn't understand that she was his*. And it's interesting because it seems that Ross is looking at their relationship with rose-tinted glasses, but at Rachel herself with dark tinted glasses. Conversely, Rachel looks at Ross with rose-tinted glasses and their relationship with dark tinted glasses. I think they begin to align better in the last season and that's why they finally click. Great video!
*Edit: I meant this as an implied parallel sentence -- Rachel's dream was her job and Rachel didn't understand that she as Ross's _dream_ -- as in, their priorities had different values in the seasons they were together.
She was his???
What..
Are we living in the 18th century tf..
@@nanditasikka6666 Sorry, "she was his" as in "she was his dream", not "she was his property". I'll make an edit so it's clearer!
I love how they are not completely bashing on Ross and Rachel because I'm sick of people just labelling them as toxic. People nowadays are so quick to label everything as healthy or toxic.
You gotta understand that relationships evolve. Infact they HAVE TO keep evolving otherwise they'll fade away. Sometimes relationships have toxic starts, they have toxic moments. People have toxic moments but that doesn't mean you should dismiss them altogether and not bother.
the only opinion that mattered tbh
I agree. After this video, I realized that they really needed to find a way to communicate and heal. Maybe seeing a therapist? He was able to find his dream job and himself before she had the chance to even think about providing for herself and they were on different paths. They needed time to grow alone, so they could thrive together
This☝️
I also loved how they talked about the relationship. I don't think a relationship like Ross and Rachel's would have a happy ending in real life, but their problems aren't solely the responsibility of either Ross or Rachel and their problems weren't the result of Ross or Rachel being bad people. They had fundamental misunderstandings that they never fully communicated and they refused to let go and either allow their relationship to evolve or to actually move on, forever staying in the limbo of "not together but unable to fully commit to any other relationship".
Thank you
Please do Monica and Chandler next. They do not need therapy actually but please.
There's this random kid who can't spell in this comment section just screaming at everyone who thinks Ross and Rachel are toxic. Completely ruins any mature conversation
Anyways, I really never realised that Ross and Rachel were toxic, I always just saw them as a sort of "a guy who wants to spoil his girl", but I never realised that that's not how life works and that Rachel, even though wanting to be spoilt, wants to have her own life which doesn't suit Ross' neediness and possessiveness
I'd also like to add that I feel like their gernal lives are set up differently. I've worked both in fashion and museums in NYC. Rachel's career is high production, high time-commitment, and high stress. Ross' job in an non profit is more about process and is far slower pace than her job. they live 40+ hours a week in the psychological space that leads to this fight
they both act quite childish and immature when neither gets what they want, Rachel tries to sabotage ross's relationships with, Julie, bonnie, Emily and others just because she isn't with him. ross narrow-mindedly thinks that any guy who is possible date material that isn't him shouldn't be with rachel because he childishly wants the ideal relationship and doesn't understand and listen to what rachel wants.
Ross slept with someone else, was always super controlling and jealous but Rachel always wanted to screw up Ross's new relationships, like with Emily, Bonnie and Julie.
Mona , Jill , the girl who called him "Indiana Jones"....
it isnt even a question of "were they on a break" but really, "Was it okay for Ross to have a one night stand and was it valid for Rachel to not forgive him"
exactly!
for me, it's like they crossed the bridge with the breakup, and then Ross burnt it down with the hookup (and consequent lie)
Yes, he had the right to do what he did - and so did Rachel to not get back together with him.
I think the real question is something not shown here which is all the trouble he was willing to go through in order to make sure that Rachel never found out. Had he just told her, even if he painted himself as a victim (very very drunk, in pain, clearly taken advantage of), especially if he was upfront and said he was the victim, but admitted to some blame, they could have talked it out then
@@lilyblue3205 exactly. He was running all over the place asking people not to tell her, instead of talking to her.
@@CGZ26 Doesn't he literally tell Chandler in that episode that he is doing that so he can be the one to tell her and explain his side of the story or am I remembering that wrong?
@@RandomCarrot2806 He did, but he was very easily swayed by Chandler and Joey to not tell her. Same happened with that list of reasons to be and/or not with Julie and Rachel.
This was great but I'm surprised they skipped the part in Season 4 when Ross was about to get married and Rachel tried to stop his wedding. Also, they forgot to mention during that fight in Season 9 that they agreed not to see other people prior to that.
Ross and Rachel are such a terrible couple that I have no idea how people shipped them so hard throughout the 90s.
Cuz of Romance Duh
Couples I Would Love to See Them Analyze Like This (In this Full Video Style):
1. Brooke and Lucas (One Tree Hill)
2. Clark and Lana (Smallville)
3. Barney and Robin (HIMYM)
4. Hyde and Jackie (That’s 70 Show)
5. Dan and Blair (Gossip Girl)
6. Maya and Lucas (Girl Meets World)
I picked couples that didn't end up together because I'm curious if things could have worked out between these couples and what they could have done differently.
YES dan and blair!! i remember really rooting for them at the time
Barney and Robin😍😍
This would be interesting
Maya and Lucas was done so dirty
I still don't know how much of Ross's "we were on a break" alibi stays true to what he thought "we were on a break" meant in that moment. It just seems like he's trying to cover up his impulsiveness as "premeditated action" (despite the fact that he'd been drinking).
They should've established what that meant and what they were and weren't allowed to do during their break.
He called her apartment and Mike picked up the call. So he thought Rachel was cheating on him.
@@KurosakiMintaka She effectively was.
@JW McCabe she had Mark up in her flat after going on a break. Duhhh
Wow! That was a thorough breakup of their relationship when they were vulnerable in the show. I particularly liked how you guys picked up those serious moments & conversations in their relationship when they had hard times. Well done guys, gave me more perspective on how Ross and Rachel thought process was in those moments. Thanks & Cheers! Look forward to your next discussion.
I have no empathy for Ross. He was so selfish and controlling. And something that really irks me is how homophobic he was about the “manny”.
I agree, but it was not necessarily homophobia, it was because his dad criticized the feminine aspects of himself. He was projecting that onto the "manny".
Ross and rachels relationship started off on a bad note. There is no way this is not toxic. Ross couldn't let go of her. He was in alter saying her name when he was supposed to say his girls name. Tht guy clearly doesn't care or check his emotions. Seemingly saying or doing things out of impulse. Rachel didn't have anyone but her friends who understood her. For her Ross was an important part of her life. So whenever he was with someone else she was scared that she wouldn't find someone. Certainly Ross wasnt the guy. It was like she settled with Ross.
Ross should have checked himself nd found someone good for him who valued what he did. And so do Rachel. Shud hve gone to Paris nd had her life.
Do Pam and Jim next! Or The Office couples like Kelly and Ryan and Michael and Jan
giugiuba2 I would love to see the dinner party with Michael and Jan discussed! Lol.
That would be awsome
Also Dwight anf Angela! 😂
Taking notes for my future spouse.
Great analysis, but I think you chose scenes that shows Ross as the bad guy, you should have analyzed the scene when she ruined his wedding, when she made him broke up with Barney and left him, and when he broke up with Julie for her and then she wasn't there, again.
she literally manipulated him into breaking up with every girl but her, because she couldn't stand the idea of him being with someone else which I totally understand but the part I don't understand and find very selfish, is that she doesn't want him with someone even when she doesn't want him herself, which you should have mentioned same as you mentioned him getting mad by her kissing a guy on the balcony, it's the same dynamic, I don't want to be with you but don't also be with someone else
Ross being the one who says the wrong name and choosing to marry another woman whilst being unclear whether or not he is still in love with Rachel, and Rachel is the one who 'ruined his wedding'?
"...when she made him broke up with Barney and left him..."
Say what, now?!
Ross is kind of a crappy person in my opinion, but I would also like to see more variety in this way. Maybe we'll get a Part II!
Why would you blame Rachel for Ross' second ruined wedding??
Finally someone thinks just like me!! Everyone is talking about Ross when personally I think Rachel is the bigger problem!! She is so toxic and manipulative and selfish, Ross isn't perfect either but Rachel has done horrible horrible things.
What I don’t like about Ross is how entitled he feels over Rachel, and he maintains this even after insulting, manipulating and diminishing Rachel and even after engaging and sometimes marrying other women. It’s annoying and frustrating to watch, especially after he gets Rachel in the end.
You speak as if Rachel did nothing wrong…
@@ruthenictoaster She wasn’t perfect but at least she wasn’t toxic like Ross.
Laura looks like a modern day Samantha Jones.
They really avoid the earlier scenes where he constantly is red-eyed jealous of Mark who is just a friend helping her. His constant possessive attitude.
Just a friend helping her???? He literally admitted he had a crush on her. Im not denying he was her friend but its really obvious he was trying to sabotage their relationship.
Mark literally asked her out as soon as Ross and Rachel broke up 😂
Mark asked her out lol and if you remember both chandler and joey said to both Rachel and Ross that a random stranger is never just nice to a girl to be friends
As if Rachel isn't possessive..did you just forget how she obsessed over Ross when he was with Julie, Bonnie and Emily?
how to make Ross shut up in the first argument covered:
ask him if being a paleontologist is just a job for him
cause quite literally you can see how Ross doesn’t see Rachel as being on the same level [of importance] as him. in that argument, what i was feeling was that Rachel was his housewife of sorts and is there to serve his needs only. he was straight up devaluing Rachel’s ambitions, dreams, etc. to be someone else / more. such a shame too, i really used to like Ross till his toxic tendencies started to show up, about the time Paolo was introduced.
I can't express enough HOW MUCH I DISPISE ROSS AND HOW TOXIC THEIR WHOLE REALTIONSHIP WAS. Both deserved better but Rachel deserved way better!
Initially I was thinking, "Kim Cattrall is a marriage therapist?"
Honestly they didn’t touch on all of the scenes that show their relationship. But I think for the most part they brought in interesting perspectives
I hate watching Ross&Rachel videos because the debate in the comments is always crazy 😂😂
Props to Jenn and David for the break up scenes, they were very real considering it was a sitcom.
I think one of the biggest issues in the first part of their relationship is the same that Ted Mosby has with Robin. Both men love the "idea" of the girls, but when the girls show their personalities, their interests or goals, and they(Ross/Ted) realize that it goes against *their own* idea of what they want in the future, it's when the problems start.
Also, Ross calling her job "just a job" when she spent their entire first date in the museum because he got called in, it's really hurtful. In fact, Rachel didn't used to make fun of his job until after they broke up.
Now, the second part of the relationship is a mess altogether.
Their relationship is just so dysfunctional. They lacked clear communication, neither listened to what the other wanted during critical moments. I do think Ross was in the wrong during that first scene with the picnic basket. The gesture itself is romantic, but the timing was not. I wish they had reviewed the episode where Rachel chases him to England to profess her feelings to him before his WEDDING. Honestly, I think it's strange that they attempted a friendship after the breakup. I could never do that. It's too easy to want to get back together even if you know you're not right for the other.
I was best friends with my ex...
Incredible video. I know these scenes almost by heart due to watching them so much (we had the box sets but no cable back in the early Aughts) but these were some fresh and interesting ways to think about them!
I love these two breaking down relationships - I really hope they do more
I can't think on anything to say....Sooooo...SAVE THE USPS! BUY STAMPS! BUY ALL THE STAMPS! PROTEST REMOVAL OF MAIL BOXES! LET'S GET HIM OUT AND LIFE BACK TO NORMAL!
"I would hate to be the third person in this triad" -- poor Mona. She found that out the hard way.
Can we do this again but analyze relationships where one person is pretending to be someone or something else? Like in Ever After, Maid in Manhattan, A Cinderella Story, etc.
It's such a common romance trope, but I can't see myself being someone who lied to me! Great suggestion!
I found their podcast after the first VF video they did and I'm so thankful! Marriage therapy radio gives great advice and now these two feel like friends of mine :)